The Courage To Dream and The Power Of Love: The Courage To Dream / The Power Of Love

Gabriel looked at Rebecca, who was watching her son leave. The sadness in her eyes contracted his heart. “Physical labor will help him get rid of some of that hostility.”

While her gaze connected with Gabriel’s, Rebecca hugged Josh closer, as though he could shield her from heartache. “He’s so full of anger. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he won’t say anything.” Again the scene in her son’s bedroom swamped her with feelings of inadequacy. Peter was a different child from the year before.

“Have you tried counseling?”

“Yes. He just sat there, determined not to say a word to the woman.”

“How about the minister of your church?”

Rebecca shook her head.

“Ours is very good with young people.”

“No.” She answered so quickly she surprised even herself. “I’m sure he wouldn’t respond to a stranger,” she offered in explanation.

Gabriel noticed the firm set to Rebecca’s mouth, the tension transmitted in the rigid lines of her body, and knew she would reject any coaxing to get Peter or herself to talk with Reverend Carson. “Then let me try to help.”

“I can’t accept—”

Gabriel held up his hand to stop her flow of words. “I’m worried about Peter. I think he might have vandalized the baseball-field house. I found a broken egg by the front door. I don’t believe in coincidences.”

Rebecca closed her eyes for a few seconds. She adjusted Josh in her arms and kissed the top of his head, drawing strength from her youngest. “He might be innocent. You don’t know he did anything.”

“What do you think in your heart?”

She rubbed her cheek against Josh’s hair, then peered at Gabriel, her eyes glistening. “What do I do?”

“Let me help. I’ve dealt with troubled children before, and not as a lawman.”

Again she shifted Josh in her arms, looking away from Gabriel.

“May I hold Josh?” The need to hold the child ran deep in him. Gabriel had missed so much with his own son.

Her gaze returned to his, confusion deep in her eyes. She hesitated, then rose and handed Gabriel her child. Josh’s big brown eyes focused on his face. A tightness threatened to close his throat as he stared at the small boy in his embrace. He supported Josh in the crook of his arm. Smiling at him, Gabriel found himself making silly faces to get the child to grin. And when Josh did, Gabriel’s heart swelled with pride.

“How are his ears today?”

“Last night he slept through the night for the first time in several weeks. I think the medicine is finally working. At least I hope so.”

Gabriel tore his gaze from the child and looked at Josh’s mother. Holding Josh only underscored for Gabriel what he was missing. The emptiness inside pushed to the foreground.

“So do I. It’s not easy going without sleep,” he finally said, realizing an awkward silence had descended.

She sighed. “Something I’m quickly finding out.”

“What are your plans now that you’ve moved to Oakview?” He had dealt with his loss and didn’t want to renew the feelings of anguish.

“I need to get a job soon.”

“You know I might be able to help you with that.”

A closed expression settled over Rebecca’s features. “You’ve already done enough.”

“Nonsense. What are friends for? Let me ask around. What are your qualifications?”

When she laughed, there was no humor in the sound. “I don’t have any.”

“Everyone has qualifications.”

“I’ve been a mother and wife for the past ten years. I suppose I can clean houses, chauffeur and organize PTA meetings.” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, and I have some computer skills. We had one at home.”

“What will you do with Josh when you go to work?”

She cocked her head. “Frankly, I don’t know. I can’t keep staying at Granny’s house and not contribute to the finances.”

“I’m finished. Can we go now?” Peter announced from the doorway into the utility room.

“You still owe me some of your time.”

Peter folded his arms. “How much?”

“I’ll take you home in the early afternoon.” Gabriel glanced at Rebecca to make sure that was all right with her.

She nodded, then stood to take Josh from Gabriel. “We’d better be going. I want Josh to take a nap in his own crib.”

“I have baseball practice this afternoon, so Peter should be home by two. I’ll feed him lunch.”

“Fine,” she mumbled as she started for the door. When Gabriel rose to escort her, she added, “I can find my own way out. Finish your coffee.”

Peering at his mug, he realized he hadn’t taken a sip of his cold coffee. He dumped the brew into the sink and poured some more into his cup, steamy whiffs of the hot liquid wafting to him.

“What do I have to do?” Peter asked in a surly voice.

Gabriel brought the mug to his lips and took a long sip of the coffee, purposefully waiting a good minute to answer the boy. “This is my Saturday to do yard work at the church. You’re going to help me.”

Peter opened his mouth to reply, then snapped his jaws together, his teeth making a clicking sound.

“Why don’t you go check on Lady out back?”

“Lady?”

“My dog. She has puppies. See if there’s enough water for them while I get ready.” Gabriel watched the child stalk to the back door and yank it open, anger in every line of the boy’s body. The next few hours could be very long.

“Peter, this is David Carson. He’s going to help us.” Gabriel opened the door to the church’s shed and went inside.

“You’re the new kid at school,” David said with a wide grin.

“Yeah. What of it?”

David’s smile vanished. “Nothing. Just making conversation.”

Gabriel heard the wonderful start to the exchange between the two boys and wasn’t so sure it was a good idea to have David here helping. He had thought introducing Peter to some nice kids his age would make the situation easier.

Gabriel handed David a plastic lawn bag. “First, we need to pick up any trash, then pull weeds in the gardens.”

Peter crossed his arms and refused to take the bag Gabriel held for him. “I don’t pick up trash.”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Gabriel stood his ground.

Peter narrowed his eyes and stuck out his lower lip. Then when Gabriel thought Peter would run away, he yanked the bag from Gabriel’s hand and stomped off toward the nearest garden.

“What’s his problem?” David asked, jerking his right thumb toward Peter.

Gabriel watched Peter yank up a plant that wasn’t a weed. “He needs a friend. I thought you might help me out there.”

David’s eyes grew round. “Are you sure? At school he isn’t very friendly. Keeps to himself.”

Gabriel clasped David on the shoulder. “You’ve grown up here. Everyone is familiar to you. What do you think it would be like if that wasn’t the case?”

“I guess, scary.”

“My point exactly.” Gabriel squeezed David’s shoulder briefly, then added, “Let’s go see if we can save some of the plants.”

Two hours later Gabriel stepped back to inspect their work, pleased. He had managed to save most of the plants, and the gardens looked great. He took pride in maintaining these beds as though it was his statement about the glory of God to the world. The flowers showcased the beauty He was capable of.

“Let’s take a break and go inside to get some sodas.” Gabriel took the plastic bags from the two boys.

David headed for the door. Peter stared at the church, hesitating.

“I’ll stay and do some more work,” Peter said as Gabriel started to follow David.

“Even God declared a day of rest. You worked hard. You deserve a break.”

Peter blinked as though Gabriel’s words surprised him.

“He welcomes everyone into His house.” Gabriel walked toward the church, hoping that the child would join David and him. But he knew he couldn’t force Peter. He had to want to come inside the Lord’s house.

Gabriel selected a soft drink after David, then propped himself against the wall and sipped his soda. His disappointment grew as the minutes ticked by and Peter didn’t appear.

Gabriel had half finished his soft drink when Peter shuffled into the alcove outside the large meeting room. “What do you want to drink?”

Peter scanned the choices in the machine. His eyes lit up for a few seconds. “Strawberry cream soda.”

“Hey, that’s my favorite. No one else at school likes it.” David tipped up his can and emptied it.

“They just don’t know a great drink when they see it.” Peter took the can from Gabriel, then moved back, keeping his distance.

“This is probably the only vending machine in town with strawberry cream sodas. Dad keeps it stocked for me.”

“Dad?”

“He’s the minister here.”

“Oh. Isn’t that kinda hard on you?” Peter asked as though it were a disease to have a father be a minister.

David laughed. “Nah. Dad’s pretty cool about things.”

Peter tipped the can to his mouth and nearly drained it in one long swallow. “Mmm. I haven’t had one of these in a while. Mom couldn’t find it at the grocery store last week.”

“Now you know where to come if you ever run out at home. The church is always open.” Gabriel tossed his empty can into the trash. “Ready to get back to work?”

“Sure. We’ve got baseball practice later today, and our coach is a real stickler for being on time.” David slid a glance toward Gabriel, then crushed his can and aimed for the trash bin several feet away. The can landed in the container. “Yes! I haven’t lost my touch since basketball season.”

Peter frowned. “You play a lot of sports?”

“Yeah. You should come out for the baseball team.”

“I don’t play baseball.” Peter dropped his can into the trash and shuffled out of the alcove ahead of Gabriel and David.

When Gabriel stepped outside, he said, “That offer to come out for the team still stands. We take newcomers all the time.” He knew he was taking a risk by extending the invitation again. He didn’t particularly want to spend another late night cleaning up the field house.

“Yeah, we need someone who’s fast,” David said, hurrying to catch up with Peter.

“I don’t run, either.” Peter came to a halt in front of the shed, his frown firmly in place.

“I’ve seen you in gym class. You’re fast. Even our teacher said something about that the other day.”

Peter slanted a look toward David. A thoughtful expression replaced Peter’s frown. “Nah. She just wanted to make me feel welcome.” He dug the toe of his shoe into the dirt.

“Not Mrs. Hinds. She loves to point out a kid’s bad points. She’s the regular terror of our school.”

Peter laughed. “Yeah, I kinda figured that the first day.”

Gabriel walked into the shed while the boys discussed the gym teacher who had been at the school thirty years, prodding children who preferred to sit in front of a television into exercising. Hearing Peter’s laughter firmed his resolve to help the boy. He again said a silent prayer for assistance.

Several hours later, at the local diner, Gabriel and the boys ate hamburgers and fries. After their lunch Gabriel took David home, then Peter. As Gabriel pulled into the driveway, he saw Rebecca sitting on the porch swing and couldn’t resist the urge to say a few words to her.

As he approached, he noticed Rebecca’s brow knitted in worry, her hands clutching a letter. He wanted to ask her if he could help, but remembered her reaction when he had. She felt she had to struggle alone.

“Something wrong?”

Rebecca lifted her head, squeezing her eyes closed for a few seconds. Seeing the sheen of tears, he fought the urge to hold her close.

She swallowed several times, then looked toward him. “An overdue bill from the hospital.”

Gabriel eased beside her on the porch swing. He remained quiet, allowing her to set the pace and tone of the conversation.

“You know, I tried to explain to them that I’ll pay when I can. You can’t get blood out of a turnip. It’s not like I don’t put something toward the bill each month.” She shrugged, trying to smile but failing. “I guess they didn’t like the small amount this month. I need a job now.”

“If I hear of anything, I’ll let you know right away. Of course, since this is a small town, you might have to go to Tulsa to look for a job.”

“I know. I hope not.” She balled the bill in her hand. “How did Peter do?”

“Not bad. He enjoyed playing with my mutt, Lady. She has three puppies that are all over the place. He was in the midst of them when I went out back to get him.”

“Craig would never let Peter have a pet.”

The more he heard about Rebecca’s ex-husband, the more he was glad the man didn’t live in Oakview. Gabriel was afraid the man would test his faith. Some people didn’t know how to appreciate what God had given them. “After a rocky start, Peter and David Carson got along pretty good.”

“I’m glad to hear that. If Peter could make a friend, I think that’ll help his adjustment.”

“That’s the plan.”

With her head tilted, she stared at him. “Thank you. I appreciate the help.”

Gabriel realized her admission had been difficult, and that made it all the more special. He smiled, pleased to see her return it, her eyes sparkling with a vivid blue. He was determined to show her she wasn’t alone, that God was with her, and if she would accept him, he was too.

Chapter Three

“Well, my man, I hope you’re ready for bed because your mother sure is. These late nights are killers,” Rebecca said, picking Josh up and cradling him close.

She sat in the chair by the crib and began to rock. After she’d sung two lullabies, Josh closed his eyes and relaxed.

Rebecca heard her grandmother approaching the bedroom. She looked up to find Granny standing in the doorway. “I hope my singing didn’t awaken you.”

“Never. I love hearing you sing. I had to go to the bathroom, heard you up and thought I would check to see if Josh was asleep yet.”

“Yes.” Rebecca pushed to her feet and carefully laid her son in his crib. “I think tonight he’ll sleep through to morning once again. At least I hope so.” She came into the hallway.

“Peter didn’t say anything at dinner about going to Gabriel’s. Did he say anything afterwards?”

“He said something about a dog with puppies, then grumbled about pulling weeds at the church. That’s all I got out of him.” Rebecca sighed, remembering the one-word answers she had received from her eldest at the dinner table. The only time he had been a part of the family that day was when he had worked with Josh after supper.

“I’m glad he was at the church today. Gabriel usually works there on Saturdays, along with some of the young people. I hope Peter met some kids he could be friends with. That’s what he needs, church and friends.”

“He needs a father who will care about him. Craig hasn’t called him in the two weeks we have been here. His birthday is coming up, and I know Peter will want his dad here to help him celebrate. What should I do?”

“Have you talked with Craig lately?”

“No, not since our move.”

“Call him and let him know the importance of Peter’s birthday to the child.”

Rebecca rolled her shoulders and kneaded the tight cords of her neck. “I’m not sure my call would help the situation, but I’ll try.” She started for Peter’s bedroom. “Peter’s been unusually quiet this evening. No loud music from his room.”

Rebecca opened the door and peered into the darkened bedroom. The window was up, allowing a soft breeze to stir the curtains, the scent of the outdoors to fill the room. A shaft of moonlight streamed through the opening and across Peter’s empty bed.

“He’s not here.” Rebecca flipped on the overhead light and scanned the area. “Oh, no. He sneaked out again.”

“He might be downstairs. Check the house first before you get too upset.”

Rebecca inhaled deeply, but nothing alleviated the tension building inside. “You’re probably right. He’s downstairs watching television as we speak.”

She made her way to the first floor and went from room to room. Finally, ten minutes later, she had to acknowledge that Peter wasn’t in the house. She checked the front porch then the yard, and there was no sign of her son.

Granny appeared in the kitchen. “Gone?”

Rebecca nodded, her throat tight with suppressed emotion. She was scared. What kind of trouble was her eldest getting into at this very moment? Where was he? She sank onto a chair and buried her face in her hands. She felt so alone.

Her grandmother put her hand on Rebecca’s shoulder. “Call Gabriel. He’ll help.”

She remembered Gabriel’s suspicion about Peter vandalizing the field house. “But he’s the police chief. What if—” Rebecca couldn’t voice her fear that Peter was getting into trouble, the kind of trouble the law would be interested in.

“Gabriel is a friend of this family. Ask him to help.”

She hated asking anyone for help, but fear compelled her to reach for the phone. Her hands trembling, Rebecca dialed the police chief’s number. In less than twenty-four hours this man had become part of her new life.

Gabriel climbed into his squad car and gripped the steering wheel. Staring out the windshield, he tried to come up with another place Peter might go. The boy hadn’t been at the usual hangouts or behind the store where Gabriel had first seen him.

Gabriel closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Dear Lord, please help me find Peter. He’s hurting, and I want to help.”

As he turned the key in the ignition, he suddenly knew where to find Rebecca’s son. He backed out of the parking space at the rodeo grounds and headed for the high school baseball field. When he pulled into the lot next to the stands, he saw someone sitting in the bleachers, his head buried in his hands, the slump of his shoulders emphasizing his dejection.

Gabriel switched off his headlights and quietly climbed the stands. He hung back until his eyes adjusted to the dark and he could see who the person was. Relieved at finally finding the boy, Gabriel made his way toward Peter.

Gabriel hated sneaking up on someone but knew the boy would run if given the chance. He laid his hand on Peter’s shoulder. The child gasped and turned.

“Easy, Peter. It’s just me, Chief Stone.” He kept his voice even, calm.

Peter started scrambling away. Gabriel’s grip on his shoulder strengthened.

“Leave me alone. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, for starters, son, you’re trespassing.”

“I’m not your son!” Peter twisted and finally managed to slip from Gabriel’s grasp.

The defensive anger in Peter’s voice tore at Gabriel. “Don’t make this any worse. Come on. Let’s go to my car.”

“No! I didn’t do anything wrong,” Peter shouted, so loudly Gabriel was sure the people who lived nearby heard him. “This baseball field belongs to the public, and I am part of the public.”

Gabriel decided to change tactics. “Okay. If you want to stay, I’ll stay.” He sat down and waited, resting his elbows on his knees and loosely clasping his hands.

In the dim moonlight Gabriel saw the boy’s mouth twist into a deep frown, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Finally Peter took a seat and tried to ignore Gabriel. That was all right with him. He knew dealing with Peter would call upon his patience, and thankfully God had given him a huge reserve. Peter slumped and rested his chin in his palms.

“Your mom’s worried about you,” Gabriel said a few minutes later.

Peter stiffened, bringing his head up.

“Don’t you think we should at least give her a call and let her know you’re all right?”

“She doesn’t care about me.”

“Well, she certainly had me fooled earlier on the phone. I could have sworn I heard her crying.”

Peter remained silent, leaning forward, his chin on his fist, as though settling in for the night. He fixed his gaze on the baseball field, illuminated by the three-quarter moon.

Gabriel retrieved his cell phone from his shirt pocket and dialed Rebecca’s number. “Peter’s okay,” he said when Rebecca answered on the first ring, and quickly filled her in on where he’d found Peter.

There was a moment’s hesitation, then she asked, “Is there—did he cause any problems?”

“No,” Gabriel said, not sure if Peter had vandalized the field house or not. His brief inspection on his way to the stands had revealed nothing wrong. “I’ll bring him home soon.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. I don’t…” Her voice trailed into silence.

“You’re welcome, Rebecca. Peter and I will see you in a while.”

“Is she mad?”

Gabriel remembered the silence at the end, a vulnerable pause in her sentence while she tried to gather her composure. “She’s more worried than anything.”

“She’s always worried.”

“What about?” Gabriel asked, wanting to keep the fragile conversation going but realizing he wanted to know so much more about Rebecca Michaels than he did.

“Josh, Granny, money—me.”

“I find that moms worry a lot. I think that’s part of being a mother. Mine still worries about me, and I’m thirty-six years old and have been away from home for seventeen years.”

“Yeah, well, I can take care of myself. I don’t need nobody to worry about me.”

Gabriel smiled at Peter’s tough-sounding voice and remembered once there had been a time he’d thought the same thing. God had proven him wrong. God had shown him he wasn’t alone in this world.

“Even when you’re able to take care of yourself, it’s nice to know someone is there for you.”

“I don’t need nobody,” Peter said, the strength in his voice lessening slightly.

For a brief moment Gabriel felt himself hurled back twenty years. He had declared that same thing to his mother after his father had died, leaving him the man of the house with three younger siblings. In his anger he had nearly lost his way until his grandfather had shown him the power of the Lord’s love. That power had been strengthened when Gabriel had lost his wife and son—a son who wouldn’t be much older than Josh. Emotions he thought were behind him surfaced, knotting his throat. He had so wanted a family.

“It can get mighty lonely going through life by yourself,” Gabriel finally said, twisting his wedding ring as memories of the day Judy had slid it on his finger seeped into his thoughts. He had never taken it off.

“But at least no one can let—” Peter snapped his mouth closed.

“Let you down?”

In the moonlight Peter tensed, his jaw clamped tight.

“Who let you down, Peter?”

“Nobody!” Peter shot to his feet. “I can find my own way home.”

Gabriel rose. “No, I told your mother I would bring you home, and I’m going to do what I promised. You’ll find that I always do.”

“Fine!” The child shoved past him and hastened to the squad car.

Gabriel peered heavenward, noting the clear sky, the stars glittering in the blackness. The spring air was warm, the light breeze carrying a hint of honeysuckle. Perfect—except for the storm brewing at the Michaels’s house. He felt Peter’s anger as though it were a palpable force, reaching out to push everyone away. The child was determined to stand alone no matter who got in his way.

When Gabriel slid behind the steering wheel, he turned to Peter and asked, “Why did you come to the field tonight?”

The boy shrugged.

“Have you been thinking about my offer to join the team?”

“No way.” Peter answered so fast Gabriel knew the opposite was true.

“If you don’t want to play, I could use an assistant.”

“I’m sure I won’t be able to do anything for a while. Mom’s gonna ground me longer for leaving the house. I’ll probably not be able to do anything till summer.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“’Cause I felt like it.”

Gabriel heard the pout and stubbornness in the child’s voice and again thought of how he had been after his father’s death, so angry at the world. “What if I can get your mother to let you come out for the team?”

“Sure, why not. It beats staying in that old house. But I ain’t gonna play.”