The Regency Season: Forbidden Pleasures

What marvellous dream was this? A sense of wonder escaping before she could cage it, she raised a hand to trace the face from forehead to lips. ‘Alastair?’ she whispered.

As if his name had evoked it, consciousness returned in a rush, accompanied by a paralysing stab of fear. ‘Alastair! You must—I must get away. At once! He mustn’t find us!’

As she frantically pulled at the bedclothes, desperate to flee, he stilled her hands. ‘Stop, Diana! It’s all right. Your husband is dead. He’ll never hurt you again.’

The room seemed to swirl around her dizzily. ‘He’s...gone?’ she repeated, trying to focus her muzzy senses.

‘Yes. He’s gone, and I’m here.’

She struggled to pull herself free from the iron grip of another world. After a moment of frantic concentration, reality began to fall into place. Graveston’s death. Coming to Bath. Meeting Alastair again. The bargain.

The luxuriant somnolence of her body clashed with the agitation of emotions still out of control. Responding to the imperative to reel them in, she pushed at the arm he’d wrapped around her.

‘Please, I need...I need to sit.’ Detaching herself, she slid away and off the bed, looking around wildly for the dressing table. Spying it in the corner, she hurried over, and heedless of her nakedness and his keen observing eyes, seated herself before the glass. The forehead of the face reflected back to her was creased with anxiety, the eyes feral.

With a trembling hand, she smoothed away the lines and began the ritual breathing. Long slow inhale, hold, hold, exhale. Applying every bit of mind and will, she forced back the anxiety and buried the panic, until finally the countenance staring back at her was expressionless and calm.

Only then did she turn to Alastair. He was still looking at her with concern—no wonder, after witnessing that performance! Better distract him quickly, before he could begin questioning.

‘I’m so sorry!’ She managed a smile. ‘I can’t recall when I last slept so deeply, I awoke with no idea where I was.’

Though his eyes still looked troubled, mercifully, he did not press her. ‘Passion satisfied can do that.’

She smiled in earnest. ‘What a wondrous gift! I had no idea such feelings existed. Thank you.’

‘I should point out, the gift was mutual. Thank you, too.’

Suddenly she noticed that, though the candles had guttered out, a dim light illuminated the chamber. Her relief at recalling that Graveston was gone and she was in Bath abruptly dissipated.

‘Goodness, what hour is it?’

‘Just past dawn.’

Shocked that she’d slept so long, Diana hopped off the bench and began gathering up her garments. ‘I must get back at once, before the servants begin to stir.’

‘I’ll summon you a chair.’

‘No, I’ll walk—it’s light enough now, someone might notice the chair.’

‘I appreciate your efforts at discretion, but it’s not yet full daylight and you shouldn’t be out on the streets alone,’ he countered. ‘I’ll escort you.’

‘What kind of discretion would that be? No, you mustn’t be seen by anyone in the house. The servants can’t be trusted not to gossip.’

With a sigh, he came over to help her. ‘I’m much better at removing these than putting them back on,’ he said as he fitted the gown over her chemise and began pinning. ‘Why so worried about gossip? I thought you’d brought with you only a few trusted retainers.’

She leaned back against him as he secured the garment. ‘All were hired here but Minnie, James’s nursemaid, and she’s loyal only to him. The servants at Graveston Court obeyed their master and no one else. Not that I blame them. Had any of them shown sympathy or allegiance to me, they would have been turned out at once without a character.’

‘So you truly had no one.’

Deciding, after a moment’s hesitation, to ignore the question, she sat to roll on her stockings and slip her feet into her slippers, then stood and twirled before him. ‘All put to rights, am I?’

‘Sadly, yes. I prefer you in the natural state.’

‘Wouldn’t give one much chance of slipping through the streets unnoticed, you must allow.’ Feeling somehow shyer now in her garments than she had while naked before him in the languid aftermath of loving, she glanced up as she tied on her cloak. ‘Will you...want me again tonight?’

The smouldering look he returned sent a little thrill through her. ‘You know I will.’

‘Then I shall be here.’ Stepping towards the door, she paused to look back over her shoulder. ‘Alastair, I—I really do thank you. Last night was...magnificent.’

A twinkle in his eyes, he walked over to capture her chin and give her a kiss, long and slow and full of promise. ‘Just wait until tonight.’

Warmth bubbled up, and this time, she didn’t try to stop it. ‘Tonight,’ she whispered, parting his lips to delve into his mouth and deliver her promise in return.

* * *

Maintaining her vigilance as she slipped through the empty streets, her only fellow travellers a few returning revellers and the last of the night-soil men rattling off with their carts, Diana arrived home to find the kitchen still dark but for the banked embers in the fireplace.

Grateful not to have to manufacture an excuse for appearing downstairs at so odd an hour, she padded softly up to the privacy of her chamber.

As long as she came and went alone, she didn’t worry too much about any gossip the staff might exchange about her movements. The servants had already been instructed that she planned to go out most evenings and would let herself back in, so except for the maid who assisted her with dressing, they need not wait up for her. Though she supposed that directive might be unusual, the permission to end their long day when they chose, without having their rest depend upon the vagaries of their employer’s social schedule, was attractive enough, none had questioned it.

Once safely within her chamber, Diana seated herself in the chair before her own banked chamber fire. In a moment, she’d strip off the cloak and lie down on her bed, telling the maid when she came later in that she’d been so weary after returning, she hadn’t bothered to ring for her. Now, for the next few moments, she could let down her guard and recall the events of the night.

How wonderful it had been to no longer fight against Alastair’s insidious attraction! How exciting to respond freely to his touch, to let passion sweep her away to a satisfaction more powerful and complete than she’d imagined possible. She’d suspected loving Alastair would be magical, but words couldn’t begin to describe the all-encompassing power and grandeur of it.

The warmth she’d felt earlier bubbled up again, expanding until it filled her with a sense of peace she hadn’t experienced since long ago, in that other life.

Home, safe, content, she slept, to awake later feeling energised. The well-being stayed with her through the morning and well into the afternoon. Until, returning from a walk to the park with James and Minnie, the maid informed her as she entered the house that a solicitor was waiting in the parlour to see her.

Chapter Nine

Dread struck her like a fist to the gut. Surely Blankford couldn’t be moving against her this quickly! She’d expected it to take at least a fortnight for him to pack up and decamp to Graveston Court after the news of his father’s demise reached him, and some time after that for him to trace where she’d fled.

But she couldn’t imagine any other reason a solicitor would be asking for her, here in Bath, barely a week after her arrival.

Whoever it was, she must meet him now. With no more time to prepare, she didn’t have the luxury of panic. Pummelling down the fear, she told the maid to announce her.

The man who rose to greet her as she entered the parlour was the image of what one would expect of a peer’s solicitor: old, sober of demeanour, garbed in expensive, well-tailored but not ostentatious garments.

‘Good afternoon, Your Grace. I’m Feral, solicitor to Lord Blankford—the new Duke of Graveston, that is,’ he said, confirming her fears. ‘I’ve brought a letter from his Grace, vouching for my identity and authorising me to collect the boy.’

Though she knew exactly what he meant, she repeated blankly, ‘Collect the boy?’

‘Lord James Mannington, the late Duke’s son by his second marriage to you. The new Duke wishes the boy brought back to Graveston Court—where he can be reared as befits his station,’ he added, with a disparaging glance around the modest room.

Anger overlay the fear, sharpening every sense. Delay, expostulate, distract. She widened her eyes, gave him an incredulous look. ‘You’ve come to take away my son?’

The solicitor had the grace to look discomfited. ‘He’ll be well cared for, I assure—’

‘My husband dead barely a fortnight, and you want to strip me of my son?!’ she interrupted, letting her voice rise to a distraught crescendo. ‘No, I cannot bear it!’

Closing her eyes, Diana fell in a dramatic faint to the floor.

‘Your Grace!’ Feral exclaimed, looking down at her.

From her position on the carpet, Diana remained unresponsive. At length the solicitor grew more concerned and rang the bell to summon assistance.

The maid looked in, gasped and ran back off, then returned with the entire household staff. Several minutes passed as they bustled about, Annie chafing her hands while Cook waved a vinaigrette under her nose and Smithers, the manservant, helped the two females lift Diana off the floor.

During those minutes, she schemed furiously, examining and discarding several courses of action until she hit upon one with the greatest likelihood of success.

‘Some tea to restore you, my lady?’ Cook asked after she had been propped on the sofa.

‘Yes. And I suppose I must offer some to Mr Feral, even though he has come to take away my child.’

Diana doubted she’d earned much sympathy from the staff during her brief stay, but all of them were charmed by James, and the idea of stripping a boy from his mama did not sit well. Though none of the servants were ill trained enough to display overt hostility, the gazes they turned towards the solicitor were distinctly chilly.

‘As you wish, my lady,’ Cook said, returning to her domain.

‘Shall I remain until you have fully recovered?’ Annie asked, stationing herself protectively between Diana and her guest.

Her point made, and her visitor now looking distinctly uncomfortable—and as rattled as Diana had hoped—she said, ‘No, Annie, you may go. Nothing else Mr Feral says or does could wound me more than he already has.’

As soon as the servants exited, Feral turned to her with an exasperated look. ‘Indeed, Your Grace, that was hardly necessary! You’d think I was attempting to send the boy to a workhouse, rather than return him to a life of ease in the home of his birth!’

Pushing away from the pillows, she dropped the guise of distraught mother and switched to imperious aristocrat, a role which, after watching her husband, she could play to perfection.

‘How dare you, a solicitor, son of a tradesman no doubt, presume to tell me what to do?’ she cried. ‘My son remains with me.’

As she’d hoped, the change in demeanour took the solicitor by surprise. Years of serving an employer who would have tolerated nothing less than complete deference and absolute obedience had him stuttering an apology.

‘I meant no disrespect, Your Grace. But—’

‘But you thought you could simply march into this house, my retreat from grief, and order me about?’

That might have been a bit much, for the solicitor, his expression wary, said, ‘Though I have every appreciation for a widow’s grief, Your Grace, I must point out it was common knowledge that you and the late Duke...did not live harmoniously together.’

‘We did live together, however, which is more than can be said for my late husband and his heir, who, long before his father’s death, had broken off all relations between them. Yet now you have the effrontery to assure me that this man, who hasn’t set foot inside Graveston Court for years, who refused ever to speak to me, will take good care of my son?’

‘Surely you don’t mean to suggest the Duke would not treat the boy kindly!’ the solicitor objected.

She merely raised her eyebrows. ‘I believe he will treat Mannington—and everyone else—in whatever way he chooses. I have no intention of abandoning my son to the vagaries of his half-brother’s humours. Besides, there is no need for Mannington to be reared at Graveston; he’s not the new heir, or even the heir presumptive. Blankford married two years ago, I’m told, and already has a son and heir.’

‘The existence of an heir has no bearing on the Duke’s wish that his half-brother be raised in a ducal establishment.’

‘Even if Mannington were the heir,’ she continued, ignoring him, ‘until he’s old enough to be sent to school, a child should remain with his mother.’

‘If a case for custody were brought forward, the Court of Chancery would likely decide in favour of the Duke,’ the solicitor shot back, obviously already prepared for that argument.

Before she could put forth any more objections, he said in a softer tone, ‘Your Grace, though I sympathise with a mother’s eagerness to hold on to her child, you might as well resign yourself. As you should know from association with your late husband, when a Duke of Graveston desires something, he gets it.’

Nothing he could have said would have enraged her more. Welcoming a fury that helped her submerge a desperation too close to the surface, she snapped, ‘He will not get my son. I fear you’ve made a long journey to no purpose. Good day to you, Mr Feral.’

Before he could respond, Diana rose and swept from the room.

* * *

Her heart thudding in her chest, Diana instructed Smithers—who’d been loitering outside the door—to escort the visitor out, then paused in the doorway to the kitchens, concealed by the overhanging stairs.

As theatre, it had been an adequate performance, but would it be enough? Would Feral leave, or charge up to the nursery and attempt to remove Mannington by force?

If it came to that, she hoped the staff would assist her, though she wasn’t sure she could count on them.

To her relief, a few moments later, Mr Feral, his manner distinctly aggrieved, exited the parlour and paced to the front door, trailed closely by Smithers.

Light-headed with a relief that made her dizzy, she sagged back against the door frame. The first skirmish went to her, but she knew that small victory had won her only a brief respite. At worst, after pondering the matter, Mr Feral might well return and try to carry out Blankford’s order by force. Even in the best case—Feral electing to leave her alone and return to the Duke for further instructions—within a week or so she’d face a renewed assault.

Surely Fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to strip James from her now, as she was just beginning to know him again! No, she simply must find some way to prevent it.

Blankford would be furious that she hadn’t capitulated to his demand, and was sure to summon every tool of law and influence to exact his will in the next round.

If it did come to that, would a Court of Chancery uphold her right to keep James until he went to university? She had no idea what provisions her husband had made for his second son in the event of his death. Although Blankford had received the title, all the entailed land and the bulk of the assets of the estate, there had probably been something left for James, with trustees named to oversee the assets until he came of age. Her legal position would be weaker still if Blankford had been named one of those trustees—though given the bitterness of the break between her husband and his heir, she doubted the Duke would have appointed him as one.

If Blankford were not a trustee, would that make retaining custody of James easier? She scanned her mind, trying to dredge up what little she knew about how the affairs of wealthy minors were settled under law. But she quickly abandoned the effort. A mere woman, she’d never be allowed to argue the case anyway. She’d chosen Bath over London as her refuge not only because she could live here more cheaply, but also because, as a town still frequented by the fashionable, she might find a solicitor skilled and clever enough to outwit a duke.

The unexpected appearance of Alastair Ransleigh had deflected her from setting out to find such a person as soon as they had settled in. She’d have to begin the search at once, and to hire the best, she’d need additional funds.

However, much as she’d tried to prepare herself for this eventuality, she couldn’t repress a shiver as she assessed the odds against her.

You really think you can defeat the Duke? a mocking little voice whispered in her ear. The panic she’d controlled during the interview with the lawyer bubbled up, threatening to escape.

She gave herself a mental shake. No, she would not think about losing James...Graveston’s son, yes, but hers, too. That way lay madness. With a control perfected through long bitter years, she forced her mind instead back to planning.

She’d obtain funds, consult a lawyer of her own, and find some way to block the Duke’s access to James. Thank heavens, tonight she would see Alastair. Perhaps the peace she’d found in his arms last night might ease, for a few hours at least, the fear that still tightened her chest and laboured her breathing.

She simply couldn’t give in to it. Once again, she had someone to protect. Whatever it took, she intended that this time, the Duke of Graveston would not have his way.

* * *

Meanwhile, Alastair had spent most of the day at Green Park Buildings. After Diana’s departure, he’d silently trailed her as she traversed empty dawn streets just stirring to life. Satisfied that she’d made it safely back to her lodgings, he’d returned to the little townhouse ravenous, downed a hefty breakfast of sirloin and ale, then retreated back to the bedchamber they’d shared to refresh himself after a night of great delight and little sleep.

Dust motes danced in the afternoon sunlight when he awoke later. An enormous sense of well-being pervading him, he stretched lazily, running through his mind several of the delicious episodes from last night’s loving.

Diana moving under him, over him, pulling his face to her breasts, crying out as he thrust into her, had been intoxicating beyond his wildest imagining. As he’d sensed the first time he touched her, the woman she’d become more than fulfilled the promise of passion in the girl he’d once loved.

Perhaps desire would diminish over time, but thus far, each meeting with her left him more enchanted. The mere thought of touching her, kissing her, tasting her was so arousing he could scarcely wait until evening. Already he was hard and aching, needy and impatient.

But it was more than just the rapture of the physical. When she awakened beside him, rosy with sleep and satisfaction, the unguarded expression of joy and wonder as she recognised him had pierced the barrier he’d erected to armour himself against her and gone straight to the heart. The awe and tenderness with which she’d traced his face and whispered his name had weakened still further the barricades restraining the tender feelings for her that, unable to fully exterminate, he’d buried deep.

She’d gazed at him as if he were her most precious dream.

As she had once been his.

His euphoria dimmed a bit. Allowing her to touch his emotions again wasn’t wise and could end badly. He’d entered this affair to purge himself of her, not to fall under the spell of a woman much more complex than the straightforward lass he’d loved. The mere thought of the devastation he’d suffered when she’d abandoned him all those years ago made him suck in a painful breath.

Well, it wouldn’t come to that—not this time. He might want to penetrate all her secrets, but he’d not risk his heart imagining they had a future.

And what of her secrets? ‘I’m not the girl I once was,’ she had told him.

That much was certainly true. She was instead a woman who had, he was reluctantly beginning to believe, suffered isolation, hardship and abuse. If he fully accepted the truth of her account, she’d endured all that to protect her father—and him.

He recalled how frantic she’d become at the thought of the danger their being together placed him in, before he convinced her that her husband was dead.

Then there was that odd ritual at the mirror, during which, she fought her way from distress back to calm.

Alone.

So you had no one, the comment came back to him—a statement she’d neither affirmed nor denied. He recalled Lady Randolph’s description of how she’d been isolated from all her former friends.

Isolated, abused—but defiant.

Pity and admiration filled him in equal measure. And despite the danger of letting her touch his emotions, he couldn’t beat back the warmth he’d felt at seeing her glow of contentment when she’d awakened in his arms. Couldn’t help the need building within him to penetrate the impassive mask and bring that expression to her face again, in the full light of day.

He couldn’t give her back the eight years she’d lost, erase the suffering she’d endured, or resurrect the innocent, carefree girl she’d once been. But before they parted, he vowed to do whatever he could to convince her she was truly free to take up all the activities she’d been denied—painting, reading, music—and embrace life fully.

As he thought of that future, a small voice deep within whispered that she must share that new life with him.

Ruthlessly, he silenced it.

He was no longer a starry-eyed young man, confident that the future would arrange itself as he wished. In the dangerous matter of Diana, he would move one cautious step at a time, holding the reins on his feelings with as tight a grip as he could manage.

He’d need that knack immediately, for it was past time for him to return to Jane’s. Though he had the run of his sister’s house and might come and go as he pleased, his absence for an entire day would not have gone unnoticed. The all-too-observant Jane would be curious where he’d been, and he’d have to manufacture an unreadable expression to prevent her from teasing out of him that he was seeing Diana again.

The mere thought of the storm of scolding and possible hysterics that admission would unleash made him shudder.

It would be more prudent to time his return for when his sister was occupied with other matters. Though he did appreciate her genuine concern for his welfare, the matter of Diana was too complicated—and Jane’s animosity towards Diana too deep—to be quickly and easily explained.

He hadn’t yet brought Jane a hostess gift. Perhaps he’d stop by the jewellers and pick up a trinket to surprise her—and hopefully distract her from any pointed questioning over the curious absences of her brother.

Chapter Ten

Accordingly, an hour later, after a brief stop to bathe and change at the Crescent, Alastair was strolling down Bond Street, bound for the jeweller recommended by his sister’s butler. Jane loved flowers; an intricate silver vase or epergne for her table should delight her enough to give him a few days’ grace from scrutiny.

Just as he turned the corner, a woman exited the shop. The black cape that swathed her, hiding her face under the overhanging hood, instantly recalled Diana and the delights they had recently shared. He was smiling at the memory when, an instant later, something about the retreating figure made him realise the woman was, in fact, Diana.

A shockingly intense gladness filling him, Alastair set off after her. But by the time he reached the corner, the lady had disappeared. With a disappointed sigh, he turned back towards the shop.

Just as well he’d missed her. Anything he said or did with her on a public street would set tongues wagging. Though he didn’t think he was known to any of the pedestrians now passing by him, he’d not noticed any acquaintances in the park the first day he met Diana, either, and word of that encounter had begun circulating immediately.