A Cosy Christmas in Cornwall

Whatever Bill claimed about his dad’s breakfast habits, when we get back to the kitchen the toasters are full and there’s a tall man in orange woven Aztec joggers watching toast on the Aga top too. Then as he turns to grin at me his smile is a livelier, more lived-in version of Bill’s, and I get the full effect of his long straggly hair and the two dangling beaded braids that swing around as he moves his head.

He’s straight in with the introductions. ‘Hi, I’m Keith, better known as Keef the reef, or Bill’s dad. And these …’ He waves a hand at the crowd around the table who look like they all shopped at the same place as him when they bought their clothes thirty years ago. ‘… are Rip, Brian, Bede, Taj and Slater, my crewmates from the Surf ’til we die club.’

I’m blinking at silver ponytails and grey grizzly beards of all lengths from stubble to full and bushy, taking in lashings of thong necklaces and shell bracelets, faded ripped denim as weathered as their faces. From the tangles of their hair I’d say none of them visit the barbers except to buy salt spray.

Bill raises an eyebrow beyond the kitchen island. ‘The name’s ironic, obviously they’ll never die, because they’re way too busy rocking their hang fives and helicopters and riding their party waves.’ There’s an amused twist to his lips. ‘He looks nothing like me, that’s because he’s adopted.’

My brows are knitting together. ‘Really?’

Keith’s face crinkles into a grin. ‘The first rule of the castle – never believe Bill’s bollocks. Toast, Ivy?’ The cuffs on his faded peach Rip Curl sweatshirt are hanging in shreds as he hands me a plate and two perfectly browned slices. ‘We’ll finish our coffee then we’re all yours.’

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