Baby, Our Baby!

“Well, how’d it go?” Just off her morning shift, Margo was still in her nurse’s uniform.

Ali sank into a chair with a tired sigh. “He’s awake and talking.”

Margo squeezed Ali’s hand. “That’s wonderful. Everyone is talking about the miracle in room 408.” Her friend waved her hand in the air. “What did Jake say?”

Ali shrugged. “He asked to see Joanie. He seems happy about having a daughter….”

“I hear a ‘but’ in there,” her friend said.

“Oh, Margo, the looks he gave me…” Ali ran her hand through her hair. “What if he tries to get back at me for keeping her a secret?”

“What can he do?”

Ali shook her head and drew a calming breath. “I’m not sure. But he told me before I left that he wanted to talk with me about Joanie.”

“Of course he wants to talk to you. You’re his child’s mother.”

“I’m also the one who kept her from him the past nine months. What if Jake tries to take her away? Oh, God, Margo. I couldn’t stand it if—”

“Stop it!” her friend insisted. “Jake’s just woke up from a coma, and to top it off he just discovered he’s a father. That’s a lot to take in. I’d say the man is in a lot of pain, both physical and emotional, and he’s going to need time to sort everything out.”

Ali studied the brunette sitting across from her. They’d been friends since junior high school. When Ali had discovered she was pregnant as a result of her night with Jake, Margo was the friend who had stood by Ali’s decision not to reveal the identity of Joanie’s father. She had even been Ali’s labor coach, and after her daughter’s arrival, Margo had moved in with Ali and helped her through the first two weeks of her child’s life.

Being godmother didn’t cover all that her friend had done. Ali knew that if anything happened to her, Margo would love Joanie as if she were her own child. But now things had changed. Jake was home.

“Am I going to lose Joanie?”

Margo smiled. “Of course not. But you are going to have to allow Jake to get to know his daughter.”

Guilt plagued Ali, as it had since the day she’d discovered she was pregnant. This was her fault. She was the one who had kept father and daughter apart. She wouldn’t be surprised if Jake did hate her. Sometimes she hated herself.

The next morning, Ali awoke to gray snow clouds threatening overhead. She hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Gran June was fixing breakfast. Since her grandmother’s stroke, Ali had tried to take over most of the household chores. Her grandmother had relented on all but the cooking.

Thank goodness, because Ali couldn’t quite get it together in the mornings. She sat down next to her daughter, who was seated in a high chair, and took a long sip of orange juice.

“Morning, sweetie.” She leaned over and kissed the baby’s cheek.

“What time are you taking Joanie to the hospital?”

“About ten. Why? How many times has Jake called?”

Gran June put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Ali and smiled. “He hasn’t. Cliff phoned while you were in the shower. Jake was pretty upset you couldn’t make it last night.”

“With the snowstorm warnings, I thought it best not to take Joanie out.”

“Jake understands. He’s just anxious to see his daughter.” Gran June turned to her granddaughter. “There’s another person who should know about Joanie. Darcie needs to be told.”

Ali lifted her fork to her mouth, but changed her mind. Her grandmother’s words caused her appetite to disappear. She didn’t want to think about her sister now. She glanced at her daughter, who was busy stuffing her mouth with scrambled eggs. “Nothing wrong with your stomach, huh?”

Joanie let out a happy cry and kicked her feet.

“We’re going to see your daddy today. I want you to be on your best behavior.”

Joanie smiled sweetly, as if she’d understood her mother’s words.

“That’ll do it,” Ali said. “Your daddy won’t stand a chance.”

“Stop worrying,” Gran June soothed. “Jake is going to love her. And all girls are crazy about their daddies. I know your father disappeared from your life when you and Darcie were young, but at least you had your grandfather. You used to follow him around all the time, dog his steps. You would even go fishing with him.”

The older woman took another swallow of her coffee. “The relationship between a father and daughter is special, Ali. Don’t deny either Jake or Joanie the chance to form one.”

Ali thought back to how wonderful her grandparents had been to her and Darcie. Ali still remembered the years she’d felt abandoned by her parents—parents who had cared more about themselves than their daughters. After their parents’ divorce, it had been her grandparents—her dad’s parents—who had given her and her sister a loving, secure home. But the emotional scars were still there. Darcie seemed unable to settle down, always seeking the next thrill, needing attention like an addict craving drugs.

All Ali wanted was a home and a family. A town where she knew everyone and the man she loved, loved her back and cherished the children they created.

She wanted it for herself—and for Joanie. Joanie would never know the agony of being left behind. Ali would make sure of that.

The hospital was quiet when Ali carried Joanie into Jake’s room. She stood back while Jake and his father finished their conversation—or, rather their heated discussion. She heard Darcie’s name mentioned just as Joanie let out a loud cry that immediately got everyone’s attention.

Both Hawkins men looked at her. Ali’s heart thumped in her chest as she moved across the room. “I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“Heavens, no,” Cliff said as he limped to her. “Jake’s been waiting all morning for this little one to arrive.” He touched his granddaughter’s hand, and Joanie turned and hugged her mother.

Cliff started to touch the child, but slowly drew his hand back. Ali reached out, took the older man’s hand and held it in front of her daughter. “Joanie, this is your grandpa.” The baby smiled shyly at Cliff.

“I’ll get to know my granddaughter later,” he promised, and silently left them alone.

Jake was sitting up, his gaze riveted on the child in her arms. “She’s beautiful,” he breathed.

“Thank you. I’ve always thought so.” Ali made her way to the bed. “Johanna June Pierce, this is your…daddy. Jake, this is your daughter—Joanie.”

Ali noticed the tears in his eyes, and her chest tightened. Her daughter leaned forward, obviously recognizing Jake from her first visit.

He reached out to touch her. First her hand, then her rosy cheek. “She’s so tiny,” he whispered in awe.

“Not if you’re carrying her around all the time. May I sit down?”

Never taking his gaze off his daughter, Jake nodded toward the side of the bed. “Sure.”

Ali sat and Joanie clasped his finger.

“She’s so strong. I want to know everything about her.”

“As you can see, Joanie has your hair and eyes. Your dad said that she looks just like you did as a child. I kept a baby book. I’ll bring it in next time.”

Joanie pointed at something on the wall and began to babble. Ali laughed and Jake smiled as he held his bandaged ribs. The child liked the attention and let out a joyous squeal, then pulled Jake’s finger toward her mouth and tried to nibble.

“No, Joanie.” Ali shook her head. “Don’t bite.”

“Maybe she’s hungry,” he suggested.

“She’s always hungry. But believe me, Joanie ate a hearty breakfast.”

“Do you breast-feed her?”

Ali’s face turned hot, but she couldn’t pull away from Jake’s penetrating gaze. Her breasts tingled at the very thought of his watching her feed their child. “I did—I stopped three months ago. She still takes a bottle at night. But she is attempting to drink from a sippy cup.”

Jake moved his hand, and Joanie latched on to it again. “You brought Joanie in to see me while I was still in the coma, didn’t you?”

“You knew she was here?”

His dark eyes captured hers, refusing to free her. “Ali, I remember almost everything you said to me. Your voice was just about all that kept me going. Then when I felt Joanie against me, I knew I had to fight harder to wake up.” He stroked his daughter’s head as tears filled his eyes. “I couldn’t leave her.”

Joanie cooed at him.

Jake smiled. “Joanie, do you think you can give your old man a hug?”

Ali’s stomach ached at the tenderness in his voice. He was asking for so little. She carefully placed her daughter next to Jake. “Give Daddy a hug.” The nine-month-old crawled up to Jake’s side, her small arm resting against his bandaged chest.

“Daddy…I never realized how wonderful that word sounded.”

Jake savored the precious moment, knowing that his daughter wasn’t going to be content to stay long in his charge. He inhaled the sweet baby scent, a mixture of powder and soap, and his heart tightened. This beloved little girl was his. She was his daughter, a part of him. Hell, she even looked like him. And as the moments passed, he found himself falling in love with Johanna June.

A protectiveness filled him, and a strange feeling came over him. He knew, without a doubt, he would give his life for this child. He’d always wanted a family. A family he’d never had himself, but he never realized one small human being could steal his heart so easily. And she didn’t even know who he was. “I’m your daddy, sweet girl.”

Joanie seemed to lose interest as her feet kicked against the bed and she shrieked in delight. Ali helped hold her up, then finally took her in her arms. Jake fell against the pillow, exhausted.

“I should have warned you,” Ali said. “She can really sap your energy.”

“So how do you handle her?”

“That’s different. Remember, you’ve just come out of a coma.”

Yes, but he wanted to be her father, Jake thought. And a father was a man who was around all the time to protect her, to hug her and love her. He’d been gone, playing soldier, not giving a damn about anyone other than himself and his pain. He’d submerged his regrets about the woman he’d made love to that night. Never gave a thought about his responsibility to see if she’d been protected. He glanced at his little girl and felt a sudden tug on his heart. No regrets. How could anyone regret this beautiful child’s existence?

His regrets were for Ali, and for how he’d hurt her. She had been a mother to Joanie, but he knew from experience that one parent wasn’t enough. Joanie deserved more, and he was going to see she got it.

That night, Ali returned to the hospital. Jake had asked her to stop by after she got off work. This was it, she thought. He was angry with her for keeping the baby a secret. He was going to tell her that he intended to fight for custody of Joanie.

Didn’t he know that she hadn’t had a choice? She couldn’t force him to come home and marry her, especially when he’d still been in love with her sister. Ali had more pride than that. She’d watched her own parents’ marriage succumb to bitterness and hatred, and she wouldn’t subject Joanie or herself to a lifetime without love.

Steeling herself, Ali knocked and heard Jake call out to come in. She pushed open the door and was surprised to find her boss, Sheriff Ray Benson, next to Jake’s bed.

“Ray, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Hi, Ali. Just needed to finish up the accident report.”

Ray Benson was a big man with warm hazel eyes. He’d been the sheriff of Webster for over thirty years, and he could intimidate any kid in town if he had to. Mostly he was everyone’s friend.

“I can wait outside,” she offered.

Ray smiled. “You work for me. I doubt you’re a security risk, Ali. I was just asking Jake about the accident, but he doesn’t remember anything.”

Ali looked at Jake. “Nothing?”

“Not even what I was doing on the road,” Jake said, sounding frustrated. “Why the hell would I be out in a blizzard?”

“Easy, son,” the sheriff said. “A lot of people who suffer head injuries can’t remember, and block things out for a while. You’re doing great to have even survived that accident.”

Ali shivered, remembering how close Jake had come to death. The familiar feeling of guilt washed over her, knowing how close her daughter had come to not having her father.

“The report showed that the car hit a patch of ice on the highway, leading to your apparent loss of control,” the sheriff began. “There were no signs of anyone else around. But you were traveling at an excessive rate of speed for the weather conditions.” He sighed, but gave no lecture on safety. “Well, folks, I guess that about does it.” He checked his watch. “I’m late for supper, so I’ll be headin’ home.” He shook Jake’s hand, then waved goodbye to Ali. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

Ali had trouble breathing as she watched the sheriff leave the room. The quiet click of the door closing nearly caused her to panic and run after him. Even though she had known this time with Jake was coming, she wasn’t ready for it.

A long silence stretched between them until finally Jake spoke. “Were you ever going to tell me about Joanie?”

Ali’s gaze shot to his. She saw anger in his dark eyes. “I’m not sure. You left town so fast.”

“But my father lives here and could have gotten in touch with me.”

“Maybe I should have contacted him, Jake, but given the circumstances of our child’s conception, I…I couldn’t.”

“You should have tried, Ali. I deserved to know about my daughter.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Jake? I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly when I found out I was pregnant. I did what I thought was best.” Her voice and anger rose. “The last thing I wanted to do was drag you back to a town you hated and force you into marrying a woman you didn’t love. I couldn’t do that to you…or to myself.”

“How do you know you would have been forcing me to marry you? What if…?” His glare softened, then he quickly masked the tenderness. “Never mind. All that’s beside the point. You never gave me the chance to decide. Does…Darcie know?”

Ali shook her head. How dare he ask about Darcie? “If you wanted to play father so bad, Jake, you should have stuck around to find out if I got pregnant.” She watched him flinch and wished it made her feel better, but it didn’t. “The next morning, you told me that our lovemaking was a mistake. You couldn’t get away from me fast enough, and you never contacted me again. I didn’t need to be hit over the head to realize you didn’t want anything to do with me. You made it perfectly clear.”

“Well, the situation has changed. Get used to having me around now, because I’m not leaving my daughter. In fact, I’ve been doing some thinking and there’s only one solution.”

Ali was almost afraid to ask. “What?”

“We get married.”

Chapter Four

Ali felt the blood drain from her face. Her legs suddenly went weak, and she had to sit down. Sinking into the chair beside the bed, she struggled to compose herself.

“Get married…?”

Jake Hawkins was proposing marriage? To her?

“I didn’t think the idea of marrying me was so offensive,” Jake began. “I know I got pretty banged up in the accident—”

“No, Jake,” Ali interrupted. “It isn’t that. It’s just…” Her gaze locked on his mesmerizing bedroom eyes, and her pulse started to race. He could be scarred from head to toe, and she would think he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. “You caught me off guard,” she managed to say. “I had no idea this was the reason you called me here tonight.”

Jake grabbed hold of the metal bar over his head, and struggled to sit up straighter. “It makes sense.”

None of this was making any sense. She laughed nervously, not wanting even to think about marrying this man. That had been yesterday’s dream. “Maybe to you.”

He raised a hand. “Just listen to me for a minute.”

She folded her arms defensively.

“Now that I’m back, everyone will know I’m Joanie’s father. The gossip would eventually die down if you and I married. I want to be around and help raise Joanie. You could even quit work and stay home.”

Quit work. Stay home. Jake hadn’t said anything about love. Ali shook her head. Of course not. Jake didn’t love her. He’d never loved her. The only reason he was even considering this crazy idea was that she was the mother of his child. And what kind of marriage would that be?

Angry, she stood and strode over to the window. From her vantage point on the fourth floor, Ali concentrated on the brightly lit parking lot below, counting the cars lined up side by side. After a moment, she drew a breath and released it, then turned around and walked back to the bed.

“Don’t you think the people in this town are going to gossip no matter what we do?” she asked.

Jake’s jaw clenched. “Ali, I don’t want my daughter to grow up with the stigma of being illegitimate.” His voice held authority. “I want my daughter to have my name. She should be Joanie Hawkins. The only way to make it right is for us to get married.”

“Will you stop calling her your daughter?” she shouted. “Joanie is ours.”

He glared at her. “You’re the one who forgot that fact.”

Jake’s words pierced her heart, but she knew he was right. And she had no business hollering at him. The man was recovering from a serious accident. “I’ll have your name put on Joanie’s birth certificate.”

“It’s not enough,” he argued. “I want my daughter to have a full-time father.”

What Jake said was true, but she couldn’t marry him. It wouldn’t last. Not when he didn’t love her. Not when he loved Darcie. And Ali refused to be second.

“I believe it’s best if we think this over before rushing into anything. You have a long recuperation ahead of you, Jake. And there’s the surgery on your leg.”

Jake reached for Ali’s hand and drew her closer, making her sit beside him on the bed. A warmth shot through her as her gaze met his bare chest adorned with only strips of white bandage. She glanced lower, fairly certain that he was naked under the sheet that covered his body.

“What are you afraid of, Ali?” His tone held a hint of sarcasm. “Or are you waiting to see if I’ll be able to walk before you give me an answer.”

She gasped, then her shock turned to anger. “You have no right to say that to me, Jake Hawkins. I was the one here, by your bedside, trying to bring you back. I never once turned away from your injuries. How dare you accuse me of thinking…” She stopped, fighting tears. No, she wasn’t going to cry. “I better go.” Grabbing her coat and purse, she ignored Jake’s plea to stop and rushed out of the room.

“Ali, wait. Come back.” Jake cursed as excruciating pain shot up his elevated leg. He grabbed his left thigh and threw his head back against the pillow, waiting for the throbbing to stop, knowing he deserved the agony for what he’d said to Ali.

About five minutes later, Margo Wells came into the room. He remembered the nurse as being Ali’s good friend from school.

“How about a painkiller to help you sleep?” she offered, holding out the small paper cup.

“No, thanks.” He didn’t want to dull his senses.

“Okay, but sleep will do you good. If you’re worried about drifting back into a coma, the pills can’t—”

“I told you, I don’t want any medicine,” he said abruptly. “It’s my pain, I’ll handle it.”

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