Nine Months' Notice

“I’m fine,” Tori said, waving him off. “Go catch your flight. I’ll get something later.”

He didn’t seem to believe her. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” What she needed was for him to leave.

“Let me get you some water anyway,” Jeff said. He strode to the small bar fridge in the corner. “Have you been eating?”

“Yes. Plenty,” Tori said, watching him. He’d always been kind to her, remembering things such as her favorite foods. She focused. That didn’t mean he loved her.

“So, do you still talk to your friends in St. Louis?” Jeff asked as he gave Tori a bottle of water.

“Yes. Lisa’s getting married. She called to tell me last week. I’m still in shock.”

“Lisa’s one of your sorority sisters,” Jeff said. He dallied for a moment.

“Right. Rho Sigma Gamma.”

As she spoke the words, Tori felt a slight twang of depression. She, Lisa Meyer, Joann Smith and Cecile Deletsky had pledged together and become fast friends. Joann was a stay-at-home mom of three. Lisa was a political fund-raiser working on getting her candidate into the Missouri governor’s mansion. Cecile had relocated to Chicago and was a producer for a popular talk show. They’d been extremely supportive of Tori’s decision to leave Jeff. She wondered what they’d think when she told them her news.

At least that would be easier than telling her own mother. Her mother was going to be, in a word, disappointed.

Her friends would understand. They’d all vowed on graduation day to have it all—love, marriage and children. So what if Tori wasn’t doing things in order? Of course, while Joann had been pregnant when she got married, she’d at least had a man who loved her.

Tori, well, she had Jeff. He was now standing beside her, a reminder that for her, dreams didn’t come true. He didn’t love her. He wanted her for sex. She was going to have his baby. The situation was all messed up.

“You’ll be late,” she told him, impatient to get him out of the office. “And I have phone calls to make.”

“Oh. Okay.” He again moved toward the door as if finally believing she meant to send him away. Or maybe it was because he had a plane to catch. How many times had she caved over the years? He popped a piece of gum into his mouth. “I can’t miss my flight. I’ll see you later. Call me if you change your mind about us.”

And with that he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him. Tori trembled and placed her head in her hands. She’d made it. She’d seen him and survived.

Chapter Two

“What are you still doing here? Don’t you have a date?”

Jeff glanced up from where he’d been staring at the flat-screen computer monitor, a confused expression on his face as he looked at his twin brother. “Date?” he echoed. He hadn’t had a date since Tori dumped him. Not that he couldn’t have had someone else in a snap, he consoled himself. There was that girl on the flight to St. Louis. But he’d walked off the plane without her phone number. Work was a priority and, frankly, Tori’s defection and her subsequent rejection had rattled Jeff a little more than he realized. Even now it bothered him.

As for dates, his calendar was clear until tomorrow when he had to fly across the state to St. Joseph for a business meeting. He didn’t have anything on the agenda except to go home and play the latest video game of which he had an advance copy.

Justin rolled his eyes and exhaled a sharp breath. “You are useless, you know that? You have a date with Hailey. Remember your niece?”

“Oh—” Jeff bit off the expletive and jumped to his feet. He pressed a button, closing all programs and sending the computer to sleep. “Sorry. I got so busy fine-tuning tomorrow’s presentation that I forgot all about babysitting.”

“Yes, my wife kind of figured that, so here I am.”

Justin crossed his arms and Jeff cringed at his oversight. “Time just slipped away from me.”

Justin nodded. “It always does, which is why Lauren was wise enough to call and ask if you were buried up to your eyeballs in work. She also said if you get over there pronto maybe she’ll forgive you.”

Jeff grinned. Lauren knew him far too well. They’d been next-door neighbors in the same condominium complex until she’d married Justin. Now, Jeff was an uncle and he relished the role. But as always, he’d got caught up in a project and had forgotten the real world. While his dedication was fantastic for the company, it played hell on earth with his personal life. He was always late—or at least 96.5 percent of the time. Drove most people nuts. Tori had been the exception.

Jeff sobered at that thought. He really needed to stop thinking about her. They’d promised each other that neither would dwell on the past. If she was moving on then he had to respect that. Even if she was one of the few people on the planet who truly understood him.

Jeff was a numbers person—a math savant if you wanted to go that far. He’d taken calculus in the eighth grade, college courses during high school. He loved to search for numerical patterns. Computers fascinated him. Give him a technological task and he was like a dog with a bone. The rest of the world seemed to disappear.

But he always eventually returned to reality. Like now. He stood and headed toward the door. Playing uncle, even with dirty diaper changes, was quite a good time, much more interesting than a lot of visits with other relatives he endured once a year. He’d discovered that Hailey already had him wrapped around her little finger. Ten months old. Who knew a woman’s power started so early?

“Call Lauren and tell her I’m on my way,” Jeff told Justin. He grabbed his briefcase. “You guys don’t live far, so she’ll still have plenty of time to run her errands.”

“Thanks,” Justin said. “Lauren really wants to get out of the house. She’s got some things to do and Mom can’t babysit today. Lauren doesn’t want to take Hailey out in this heat.”

Jeff nodded, understanding. Even though summer had barely started, St. Louis was already suffering a miserable streak of 100-degree days with little chance of rain. Even the grass had turned brown and everyone’s air conditioners were fighting to keep up. Without a good rain, the rest of the summer was going to be lousy.

Jeff arrived at his sister-in-law’s about ten minutes later. “Hey, Lauren. Sorry I’m late.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as he stepped into the foyer of the one-story house. Jeff immediately reached for his niece. “How’s my little boo?”

Lauren rolled her eyes at Jeff’s pet name, but Hailey didn’t seem to mind. From the security of her mother’s arms she lunged forward and reached both hands out for her uncle. Jeff caught her. As soon as he had Hailey securely, Lauren stepped back and let go.

Jeff walked into the living room carrying Hailey. His niece smelled of baby powder and that fresh, sweet scent synonymous with little girls. Lauren had probably given her a bath.

Jeff glanced at Lauren. Her blond hair was pulled up in a ponytail and woven through the back of her white St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap. In shorts and a T-shirt, she looked every bit the suburban mom.

“So get shopping,” he told her. “I’ve got this down. Is the formula still in the same place?”

Jeff bounced Hailey slightly and his niece laughed. The television was on in the corner of the room, tuned to a children’s show on PBS. Jeff put his hand under Hailey’s back and said “Airplane!” Then he swooped her slightly, as if using her body to draw the bottom of a bowl. Hailey shrieked, and Jeff grinned as Lauren tried not to wince. “Giving Mom a heart attack, aren’t we?” Jeff teased. “Paying her back for probably doing it to her parents.”

“Yeah, well,” Lauren said. She watched for a moment before giving a resigned shake of her head. “The formula’s in the cabinet and I just washed the bottles. Call me if you have any problems.”

Lauren reached for her purse and Jeff followed her into the kitchen. Because she’d walk through the utility room into the garage, he’d parked on the street so she’d be able to back out easier.

“Go. I’m fine here,” Jeff commanded.

Lauren was always hesitant about leaving Hailey, especially now that her daughter had just started walking. Hailey was one of those babies doing everything early, just as her daddy and her uncle had.

“You know I’ve got her,” Jeff insisted.

“I know you do,” Lauren said. She looped her purse strap over her arm. Content with Jeff, Hailey didn’t cry even as her mom headed out the door. Lauren paused a moment. “You know, you’d make a good dad. You should think about having one of your own. Give Hailey here a cousin or two to play with as she gets older.”

Jeff’s cheeks heated and he knew his face probably matched his hair. “Well, I…Jared’s taken care of that,” he said. His older brother did have two children already.

“Good save,” Lauren said. “By the way, what’s going on with you and Tori? You dated her longer than anyone else.”

“Yeah, well, things change,” Jeff said. “This here is the only girl who has my attention right now. I guess Kansas City is too far away to make anything work.” Hailey laughed as Jeff gave her a raspberry on her belly.

Lauren frowned, the small crease between her brows indicating she wasn’t done with the topic. “So what if she’s in KC? Last I checked that wasn’t very far away, a four-hour drive tops in that speedy new Corvette you just bought. And I know you have plenty of frequent-flier miles you could use. I mean, if you want something to work, distance shouldn’t be a factor. Perhaps you should go after her. Women like that. Justin chased me and see how happy we are?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Jeff prodded, not really wanting to discuss Tori. He wrinkled his nose and his expression soured. “You know, Lauren, you’re welcome to stay and linger if you’d like to change your lovely daughter before you leave.”

Lauren shook her head and laughed. “No, no, I’m going. That diaper can be your penance for being late.” She opened the door to the garage. “Remember, call me on my cell if there’s a problem.”

“Will do,” Jeff promised. He held Hailey easily as he took her back to her bedroom and placed her on the changing table. She gazed up at him, her green eyes wide. While she’d inherited her dad’s eyes, the pale downy hair coming in was definitely from her mother.

“You are a pretty thing,” Jeff told her. “You’d have to be for me to change you. I’m pretty discriminate about whose diapers I take off. You know, I never changed any of your cousins. Don’t tell them, okay? They might get jealous.”

Hailey simply blinked at him. She was still a little too young to say actual words—those would come in another month or two, followed by incessant conversation at eighteen months.

Jeff folded up the diaper and tossed it into the trash. “I won’t bore you with the statistics on how that diaper will take more than five-hundred years to degrade,” he said. Hailey continued to wait as Jeff wiped her bottom, added some baby powder, then securely fastened her new diaper. Within seconds, she was back in his arms, her cute pink dress draped over his arm.

“So what do you think? Did I do an okay change?” As he walked back into the living room, Jeff thought about what Lauren had said. He liked the idea that he’d make a good father. He loved Hailey and even though Jeff and Justin were twins, Hailey could tell them apart. Stand Jeff and Justin next to each other and she wanted her dad every time.

Perhaps babies simply made you feel paternal. For a minute Jeff reflected on the fission of happiness that had shot through his system when Hailey had reached for him. Was the moment exponentially better and more powerful when it was your own child? Jeff had no idea, but holding Hailey felt right. Maybe he was getting to the place in his life where he was ready to settle down.

“Who knew guys had biological clocks?” Jeff mused aloud as he placed Hailey in her exerciser. While he might have doubted it a few years ago, he knew now that he wanted to be a father. Of course it took two people for that. Had he committed a cardinal sin somewhere along the line with Tori? They’d been so comfortable together and then all of a sudden, boom, she’d moved to Kansas City and broken up with him. He sighed. On the TV screen a blue puppet was singing about the letter H.

Hailey was happily playing and safe, so Jeff mulled over the conundrum. He’d known Tori for what amounted to forever. She’d outlasted any other woman in his life aside from his mother. He and Tori had been friends for years before they’d first gotten together after the company Christmas party. Their passion had been hot and fast, but the next day she’d told him it had been a mistake and had gone back to her ex-boyfriend for a few weeks. He’d chased her then, won her and then they’d developed a routine. He cared about her more than anyone else.

But was she the one? Jeff sat there a moment, distracting himself by watching Hailey spin around in her exerciser. How did somebody know he’d found his soul mate? Justin had screwed things up terribly with Lauren and almost lost her. Jared hadn’t had things easy, either. Sure his brothers were happy now, but neither had had a lightbulb “aha” moment at the start of their relationships. And love wasn’t like installing a software program. There were no signs that you were one-hundred percent complete.

As for compatibility, he and Tori thought the same. They were both math people who had taken extra math classes in school just for fun and to boost their GPAs. They were long beyond such trivialities as wooing and making an impression. She knew how much he cared about her and he the same. Actions spoke louder than words, which could often be meaningless, any day. Tori’s last boyfriend had told her he loved her and then cheated on her right and left. Jeff hadn’t wanted to make that same mistake, so he’d erred on the side of caution.

In his job, he was the one who traced problems back to their source. He found solutions, made sure the situation never crept up again and, if it did try to rear its ugly head, he made certain that it could be quickly eradicated. So had he missed something? Had he been too conservative? Had he taken Tori for granted? A squeal interrupted his reverie. Hailey had stopped spinning and was looking at him with a dazed but satisfied expression. She held out her arms.

Jeff rose and went to get her. “Up you go.” She snuggled next to him, ready for a bottle and a nap. He ran a hand over her downy hair, marveling at its blond softness as he carried her into the kitchen. He knew Tori well enough to know that she was through with him. Jeff had blown it with Tori big time. But his brothers had each found their perfect mates. Proof was right in his arms—a life created out of love. Maybe, if he was lucky, there was still hope for him.

Chapter Three

The day before her first doctor’s appointment, Tori was unable to shake the mixture of melancholy and excitement she was experiencing. On one hand, she was thrilled to be becoming a mom. On the other, she already felt overwhelmed—think of all the preparations she had to make. The phone rang and Tori picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, stranger,” Tori said, having recognized Cecile’s phone number on the caller ID display.

“Hey, yourself,” Cecile said. “I haven’t talked to you in ages. What’s up?”

“Everything,” Tori admitted. “I—”

“Ah, Jeff,” Cecile interrupted. “What’s going on with him? You haven’t gone back to him, have you?”

“No,” Tori said. She chewed on her bottom lip. “He did stop by the office once.”

“And?” Cecile prodded. A few seconds of silence later Cecile said, “Oh.”

“No, not that,” Tori replied. “I held my ground. I told him it was over.”

“That’s good,” Cecile said.

“Maybe,” Tori agreed after a moment. She opened her mouth to tell Cecile about her doctor’s appointment when Cecile said, “I met someone at my sister’s wedding reception.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Cecile said. “Hotter than the summer day. Blond. Tall. Body to die for and more magnetism than the north pole.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Tori asked.

“I imbibed,” Cecile admitted. “I said I wasn’t going to and I did anyway. So much for turning over a new leaf.”

Tori winced. “Will you see him again?”

Cecile sighed. “I don’t know. He’s my brother-in-law’s best friend. I’m sure our paths will cross. I didn’t leave a number and I’m still debating if that was the right thing to do.”

“You got me,” Tori said. “That’s sort of what happened with me and Jeff. We got together one night and I regretted it afterward. Maybe I should have trusted my judgment.”

“Debatable,” Cecile said. “You cared for him. It was an easy mistake—you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.”

“I guess. Things are a little weird right now, especially since I still work for him. This job’s so good, though, I wasn’t going to give it up for something less.”

“And you shouldn’t have to,” Cecile said. “Wright Solutions is a great company to work for.”

“Exactly. Still, it’s hard. I keep believing that if I don’t think about him it’ll get better. I mean, I’m not afraid of being alone.”

She wasn’t because she had plenty of friends and work to keep her busy. But moving on was still difficult, she was letting a part of her life go. Jeff had been her present and—she’d hoped—her future, and now he was her past. Sort of.

She’d always have a little piece of him now that she was having his baby. She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but it didn’t matter. It simply was.

“Cecile, what would you do if you found out your one-night stand left you with a baby? Would you tell him?” Tori asked, moving into her kitchen and grabbing a plastic cup.

“Why are you asking me this? Did you have a one-night stand you didn’t tell me about?”

“No,” Tori said, holding the cup under the ice dispenser. She wanted Cecile’s honest answer before she told her about the baby. “Hypothetical. I just wondered if you’d tell him.”

“In my opinion, children should grow up having two parents if that’s possible,” Cecile said. “But I guess it’s hard to say when it’s not happening to you.”

“I suppose there’s no easy choice,” Tori said, sipping her water. For some reason she felt slightly dehydrated.

“Why all this interest in this topic? You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Yes.

Tori opened her mouth to say the word but at that moment Cecile’s phone beeped, indicating she had another call. “Hey, that’s my mom. She and Dad are letting me take one of their old armchairs for my apartment. Do you mind if I answer them and get back to you later?”

“No, that’s fine. We’ll talk soon. Call me anytime.” Tori hung up and glanced around her apartment. She’d splurged, getting a one-bedroom loft unit with upgraded appliances. On the first floor she had a living room with a fireplace, a kitchen, a washer/dryer and a half bath. Upstairs she had a full bathroom and a bedroom that overlooked the living room. Her apartment, which had seemed so spacious when she’d first moved in, wasn’t going to be adequate once she had the baby.

She walked over to the refrigerator and pulled off the magnetic to-do notepad she’d hung there. She grabbed a stray pen she found on the breakfast bar and, standing, she wrote at the top: Go to doctor’s appointment. Underneath she wrote: Decide what to do about Jeff.

Disgruntled, she sighed, set the paper down and finished drinking her water. She debated about what Cecile had said. What type of a father would Jeff be? He was never in town. He hired a pet sitter to care for his cat. How could he be a dad if he was always traveling? The man had no focus unless it was technology related. Babies were about as basic as things came. They couldn’t talk, walk, feed themselves or communicate. They needed nonstop care. She worried that Jeff wouldn’t be able to handle the work involved, even if he did babysit Hailey now and then.

Long ago, when she’d first gotten into the relationship, she’d dreamed of what it might be like to be married to Jeff Wright. She’d quickly realized that it wouldn’t be the stuff of romance novels. While they were compatible in tons of ways, in reality she and Jeff had stayed together because they didn’t worry about things such as who was doing laundry, who was paying for what and who was doing his or her fair share. They’d neutralized the issues married couples dealt with. She’d wasted two years trying to make something work; she and Jeff didn’t have staying power—that deep commitment and determination to get through things beyond just pleasure and convenience.

Tori put her glass in the dishwasher. When she’d been eleven her parents had divorced. Her dad had moved to California. She’d seen him only on rare occasions and heard from him when he’d remembered her on major holidays. She wouldn’t allow her child to have that type of life.

People might argue that a child deserved two parents, but Tori thought a child deserved two parents who made the child a top priority. If that weren’t possible, then no parent was better than one who constantly made you wonder whether you were worth it or whether you were valued at all.

If Tori wondered about her place in Jeff’s life, what would her baby think growing up, asking where Daddy was and why Daddy “forgot”?

Tori tapped her fingers on the countertop, the background noise a comforting staccato. Her own mother hadn’t gotten remarried right away, waiting instead until the perfect man had come along when Tori was a sophomore in high school. Richard Kennedy was the perfect stepfather. Tori’s mother had never been happier. And Richard had always made Tori feel valued and welcome, even when she’d become a big sister. Although Tori was almost sixteen years older than her younger brother, Kenny, the two were close. The whole family was close. That was all to Richard’s credit.

Tori reached for her phone and pressed a speed-dial button. Within seconds, her mother picked up. “Hey Mom,” Tori said. “When’s the next family dinner?”

“You trolling for a free meal?” her mother, Kathleen, teased. “Tomorrow’s Friday and Kenny’s got a baseball tournament this weekend so we’ll be over in Raytown. Of course you’re welcome to join us if you’re not heading to St. Louis.”

“I might be,” Tori lied.

Her mom was used to Tori’s travels. “How about Monday, then? After work? Say six o’clock? We’re all off for Independence Day, so we can relax.”

Tori wrote the information on the sheet of paper she’d been using. “I’ll see you then. Love you.”

“Me, too. If you change your mind, call me. I know Kenny would love to see his big sister at some of his games.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Maybe next weekend. E-mail me the schedule and I’ll work something out.”

“I’ll do that. Talk to you soon. Love ya.”

“Me, too.” Tori ended the call and strolled into the living room. Her apartment backed up on to woods, and her living room windows overlooked nothing but old oak trees. When out on her balcony, she could pretend she lived in a tree house. She’d signed a year’s lease, but would have to find somewhere else to live when it expired. Something one-story with few steps that would need to be gated off. Maybe she’d buy a condo.

Why had she told her mother she was heading to St. Louis for the weekend? Tori had never considered herself a chicken, but, once she’d called her mom, she hadn’t found the nerve to tell her about the baby. At least the story gave her a bit more time to figure out how to tell them.

So maybe she was a bit of a chicken. She’d never been afraid of anything before, accepting any challenge put before her. In college a boyfriend had dared her to go bungee jumping, knowing Tori had a fear of heights. Refusing to back out, she did it and never showed how scared she really had been. Tori wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty when necessary.

At least, she used to be fearless. Her life was changing so fast that suddenly she felt timid. Unsettled. Not quite herself. She wasn’t invincible any longer. She couldn’t just jump in feet first and worry about the consequences later. Tori placed her hand on her stomach, something she’d been doing constantly, as if touching herself somehow made the fact she was going to be a mother real. She knew she couldn’t hide from what was happening. She’d see the doctor, make sure everything was okay and there were no complications and then tell Jeff. That would be the best, most prudent course of action. She’d then tell her family and friends. After all, there was still a point-one chance the test could be wrong.