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Midwives On Call: From Babies To Bride
He acknowledged her arrival with a grin.
‘Good job,’ he said softly. ‘Thanks for inviting me.’
Her breath came out in a huff of laughter. How could anyone make a life-threatening emergency sound like a party? But paramedics were like that, weren’t they? They lived for the adrenaline rush and a ‘good’ job was one that other medical professionals dreaded having to face. She’d met paramedics who came across as cowboys—galloping from one callout to the next and overeager to show off their skills.
This one rode a motorbike, for heaven’s sake. A mechanical horse. And he’d had no hesitation in taking command and encouraging management that had had the very real potential to have ended in disaster.
Except it hadn’t, had it? Another glance at the bed was enough to bring a lump to Sophia’s throat. The baby lay in Claire’s arms, tiny eyes open and staring up at his parents. Greg’s fingers were touching the tiny starfish hand of the baby and his head was touching Claire’s. They were both looking down, aware of nothing but their newborn infant. They were talking softly, too, counting fingers and toes and doing what all new parents did in the first minutes of sharing the miracle of new life.
They had probably forgotten the presence of their medical team and wouldn’t even hear the murmur of other voices but Sophia looked away, unconsciously allowing them a little more privacy.
It was somewhat startling to find that the paramedic was still looking at her.
‘Babies are my favourite thing,’ he said softly. ‘It was a treat.’
For the first time since he’d let himself into the house, she realised how good looking he was. Oh, she’d noticed the brown eyes and the way they crinkled at the corners and the streaky blond hair. She’d been aware of the intelligence and intense concentration his features could advertise. But he was still grinning at her and she was distracted enough from her patient to appreciate the way everything came together. And not just his face. He had a presence that she’d appreciated on a professional level. Now she was getting the full force of it on a very personal level. Was it so overpowering because he was so much bigger than she was?
No … everyone was pretty much taller than her when she could only boast five feet three inches in bare feet and he probably seemed broader because of the jacket he was still wearing but he gave the impression of a large man. A powerful man, yet she’d seen how skilful those hands had been, positioning the baby’s head and fitting the mask to the tiny face. How carefully controlled and gentle his movements had been.
It felt like something was melting deep inside her belly.
He wasn’t just incredibly good at his job. He’d done it with humour. With an ability to defuse a terrifying situation. With a confidence that had given them all the belief that they could do it and maybe that had been the reason why they had been able to do it.
Her smile felt odd. As if she was offering him something that she had never offered anyone before on such short acquaintance. Something that came straight from her heart.
‘It’s me who should be thanking you,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t believe I told Dispatch that we only needed transport, not a SPRINT paramedic.’
‘I was eavesdropping on the radio traffic. I’d just ordered a coffee not far away.’ He grinned. ‘Don’t suppose it’ll still be hot when I go back.’
‘I owe you one, then.’
The crinkles appeared around his eyes again. ‘Might just hold you to that.’
Were the butterflies dancing in Sophia’s stomach embarrassment? Did he think she was flirting with him? Suggesting a date, even?
If he did, he didn’t seem put off. Or any less relaxed.
Maybe the butterflies were there for an entirely different reason. How long had it been since she’d met such an attractive man? One who had impressed her on so many levels?
Not in the last six months, that was for sure. Changing cities and throwing herself into a new job had left no time at all to think about expanding her social life to include men. She was only beginning to gather a new circle of girlfriends.
Not that this one would be interested, anyway. She could hear an echo of his voice. Babies are my favourite thing …
She could feel herself becoming tense. Trying to squeeze something tight enough to suffocate those damned butterflies.
Could he sense that, too? A flicker of something she couldn’t identify passed across his face.
‘Might be hard to call in the debt,’ he said. ‘When I don’t even know your name.’
‘Oh …’ She hadn’t introduced herself, had she? How rude was that? He’d have paperwork to fill in for this job. He would need more details about Claire as well. ‘I’m Sophia,’ she said. ‘Sophia Toulson. I’m a midwife.’
His grin widened as an eyebrow lifted. ‘I should hope so.’
The information about their patient she’d been gathering mentally to help him with his report evaporated as Sophia laughed.
Those cute eye wrinkles deepened and his eyes danced. ‘Come out with me,’ he said softly. ‘Sophia Toulson, midwife extraordinaire. Come out with me tonight. I’ll take a beer instead of a coffee as payment of that debt.’
Sophia’s smile died on her lips.
She wanted to say yes.
She really, really wanted to say yes, but she could feel her head beginning to roll from side to side.
‘No … I can’t … I …’ The words followed her smile into oblivion. How could she possibly even begin to explain why she had to say no?
Not that Aiden seemed offended by the rejection. His shrug was casual. ‘No worries. Maybe another night.’
And then there was a loud knock on a door outside the room. ‘Ambulance,’ the call came, along with the rattle of a stretcher’s wheels.
The snatch of time was gone and Sophia realised that it would have been better spent starting the enormous amount of paperwork she needed to do to record everything that had happened during the emergency birth.
And then she caught Aiden’s glance and, if the same thought had occurred to him, he didn’t care—he was happy having spent that time doing exactly what they had been doing. And, suddenly, so was she.
Inexplicably happy, in fact, given that she’d denied herself the pleasure of spending more time in this man’s company.
But he’d asked. And, for a blink of time, she’d considered saying yes.
That feeling of connection hadn’t been one-sided and that, in itself, was something to feel happy about.
Wasn’t it?
CHAPTER TWO
IT MUST HAVE been enough because that happiness stayed with her for the rest of her shift.
In fact, this was turning out to be the best day yet since Sophia had made such big changes in her life, leaving her home town of Canberra to shift to Melbourne.
Word had spread quickly through the Melbourne Maternity Unit about her successful management of an obstetrical emergency in the community. With its international reputation for excellence, the MMU attracted the best in the field but this case was earning her congratulations from every quarter.
Alessandro Manos, who headed the neonatal intensive care unit, had been the specialist called to check the baby and he’d been thorough.
‘There’s no sign of any complications from oxygen deprivation,’ he told Sophia. ‘He’s a lucky little boy that you were there to manage the birth.’
She fastened the disposable nappy and reached for the soft sleep suit Claire had given her to bring up to the unit.
‘It wasn’t just me. I probably would have chosen to try and delay the birth and get her in here if I hadn’t had some expert paramedic assistance. He was …’ Oh, yes … there was a definite extra buzz to be found in the satisfaction of a job well done. ‘He was really amazing.’
‘Who was?’ Isla Delamere—Alessi’s fiancée—had popped into the NICU. Her look suggested that the only amazing man around there was her husband-to-be.
‘The paramedic who helped me through an acute cord prolapse this afternoon.’
‘Oh, I heard about that. How’s the baby?’
‘Perfect.’ Was Alessi referring to the baby he’d just checked? His gaze was resting adoringly on his wife as he spoke.
Sophia’s smile had a poignant edge. They might have wanted to keep Isla’s pregnancy secret for a bit longer but the news had slipped out and there was no way these two could hide how they felt about each other. They were so happy. And why wouldn’t they be? They’d found love and were on the way to being a family.
That had been her own dream once.
People probably assumed it still was. That—like most women her age—she was simply waiting to find the right person to make that dream come true. Only her best friend, Emily, knew that there was no man on earth who could put the pieces of her dream back together.
That it had been permanently shattered.
Maybe it was just as well that the baby scrunched up his face and started crying at that moment.
‘I’d better take this little guy back to his mum. She’ll be missing him and he’s hungry.’
‘I’ll come with you,’ Isla said. ‘I want to hear more about this paramedic. Was he hot? Single?’
Sophia shook her head as she wrapped the baby in a cotton blanket and picked him up. An image of those unusual brown eyes, somewhere between hazel and chocolate, flashed into her head. She could even see the crinkles in the corners—the smile that had seemed intimate because it was only intended for the person who had the eye contact.
‘Hot enough, I guess,’ she said lightly. ‘But I doubt very much that he’s single.’ Liar, her mind whispered. He wouldn’t have asked you out if he wasn’t single. Her voice rose in pitch as it tightened. ‘And even if he was, I wouldn’t be interested.’
‘Why not?’ Loved up herself, Isla was keen for everybody to share her happiness. And maybe she’d picked up on the fact that Sophia was being less than truthful. ‘Work is where most people find their partners, you know.’
‘I’m not looking for a partner.’ With the baby, who’d stopped crying for the moment, in her arms, Sophia led the way out of the ICU and headed towards the room where Claire had been taken for assessment. ‘And I do go out. I’m going out tomorrow.’ This was a good opportunity to change the subject. ‘You’re coming, aren’t you? To the gardens?’
‘For Em and Oliver’s vow renewal ceremony?’ Isla smiled. ‘Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. I think everybody from the MMU is going. It’s the perfect way for everyone to move forward, isn’t it?’ she sighed, probably unaware of the way her hand touched her own belly so protectively. ‘Em’s very brave, isn’t she?’
‘She certainly is.’ Sophia’s arms tightened a little around the precious bundle she was carrying, jiggling him as he started grizzling again. They’d all known that Emily’s foster-daughter would only have a short life but her death had been gutting. Only last week they’d all gathered in the children’s section of Melbourne’s botanical gardens to attend the memorial service for little Gretta. So many tears had been shed as the CEO of the Victoria Hospital—Charles Delamere—had spoken so beautifully about how Gretta’s short life had touched the lives of so many others.
They’d all been clutching pink balloons that had been released into the sky at the end of the ceremony. The balloons had all held little packets of seeds—Kangaroo paws—all different colours. Apparently they had been Gretta’s favourite and Emily had a vision of new plants growing all over Melbourne. It had been a beautiful ending to a very touching ceremony.
‘The plan is that later anyone who can will head for the Rooftop for a drink.’
‘I heard that. Did I tell you that Darcie’s bringing Flick?’
‘The midwifery student?’
‘Yes. She’s due to start shadowing you next week. We thought it would be a good way for her to get to know everyone a bit better. You don’t think Emily will mind, do you?’
‘It’s an open invitation. We all know Em and Oliver and everyone’s thrilled that they’re back together. The sad bit’s been dealt with and this is about the future. It should be a good party.’
‘How formal is it?’
‘Not at all. You can wear whatever you like. But I did talk Em into buying a new dress and getting her hair done so I don’t plan to turn up in jeans myself.’
Emily Evans had been the first real friend that Sophia had made after moving to Melbourne. They’d clicked instantly and it had been Emily who had helped Sophia settle into her new job and home so happily. An evening with a few wines a couple of months into their friendship had sealed the bond when they’d realised how much they had in common. Their journeys may have been very different but the result was the same—they would never know the joy of holding their own newborn infants in their arms.
Had it been stupid to pick this career? Leaving Isla behind, Sophia had a few moments alone, holding Claire’s baby boy. This was the part of her job she loved best. The weight of the tiny body that fitted so snugly against her chest. The joy in the mother’s face as she handed it over. Watching a tiny mouth latch onto a breast for that first feed …
It was always there, though … that empty feeling in her own arms. The ache in the corner of her own heart.
Emily’s journey had been slower. The hope had still been there for all those attempts at IVF and it must have turned to such joy when she’d finally carried a pregnancy almost to term. How devastating would it have been to experience the stillbirth of her son?
More devastating than it had been to wake from an emergency surgery to be told that you’d not only lost your baby but that your uterus had had to be sacrificed to save your life? There would never be a transition period of chasing an IVF dream to lead to acceptance for Sophia. She’d only been twenty-one but her life had changed for ever that day.
But it hadn’t been stupid to choose this career. Yes, she could have shut herself away from the emotional fallout by choosing a nursing career that had nothing to do with babies or children, but that would have only made the ache worse in the long run and at least, this way, she got to share the joy every day of her life pretty much.
Love always came with some fine print about what you were risking but if you never took that risk, you shut yourself off from what life had to offer. Nobody had ever promised that life was easy and she’d seen more than her fair share of heartbreak in this job, but she’d seen far more people reaping the rewards of taking risks.
Look at Em. She’d chosen to love two children who weren’t even hers, both with medical conditions. She’d been brave enough to risk the heartbreak she’d known was coming right from the start. Sophia had thought she was being brave, becoming a midwife and working with other people’s babies every day, but, compared to Em, she was still hiding from life, wasn’t she?
The next half-hour was happy enough to banish any personal reflections as Sophia spent time with Claire and Greg and the baby who now had a name—Isaac.
The first breastfeed was no drama and she left the happy parents preparing to go back home for their first night as a family.
Weaving through the busy, inner-city streets to get back to her small, terraced cottage when she finally signed off duty wasn’t enough of a distraction, however. The ache was a little heavier today. Not just the empty ache of not having a baby to hold. There was the ache of not having a hand to hold. Having someone in her life who was her special person.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t making new friends here. Good friends. It was because she was essentially alone. She had no family nearby. Her best friend was back with her husband. Sophia had no one who was always available to share the highs and lows of life. And a best friend could never take the place of a life partner, anyway. She had no one to cuddle up to at night.
How stupid had she been, turning down that offer of a date with Aiden Harrison?
Why couldn’t she be a bit braver?
If only she could turn the clock back to that moment. She could see those dancing eyes so clearly. A mix of attraction and humour and … confidence that she would say yes?
He hadn’t been upset by her stuttering refusal, though, had he?
Maybe, by now, he was feeling relieved.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. Sophia gave herself a mental shake. She needed to get over herself or she wouldn’t be contributing anything positive at tomorrow’s celebration. Maybe she needed to take a leaf out of Emily’s book and convince herself that the risk of loving was always worthwhile.
Maybe she could even go down that track herself one day and think about fostering kids.
‘It’s only me.’ Aiden let himself into the big house in Brunswick—his usual stop on his way home. ‘Where is everyone? Nate?’
A dark head popped out from behind a nearby door. ‘We’ll be out in a sec, Aiden. The other boys are in the lounge.’
The lounge was a large room and, like all the other rooms in this converted house, it had polished wooden floors. Unlike most lounges, it had very little furniture, however, because the residents didn’t need sofas or armchairs. The four young men who lived here were all quadriplegics who needed a high level of domestic and personal assistance. The youngest lad, Steve, was only eighteen. Nathan, at twenty-four, was the oldest.
Not that his younger brother intended to live here for long. This was a halfway step—a move towards the kind of independence he really wanted. At some point they were going to have to talk about it and maybe tonight would be a good time. While he hadn’t said anything yet, Aiden was worried about the idea of Nate living independently. He himself had a demanding job and he wouldn’t be able to drop everything and go and help his brother if something happened. At least here there were always carers on hand and it was a lot better than the residential home he’d been in for the last few years.
Or was the anxiety about the future more like a form of guilt? That he hadn’t been able to care for his brother himself when the accident had happened because he’d only been a kid himself?
That it was his fault that the accident had happened in the first place?
That, if Nathan was capable of living in a normal house, he’d want it to be with him and then he’d have to take full responsibility. Oh, he’d have a carer to come in a couple of times a day to help with the transfers from bed to wheelchair and for the personal type care of showering and toileting, but what about the rest of the day? What would happen if Nate fell out of his chair or something and he was in the middle of a job like that obstetric emergency today?
He wanted his brother somewhere he was protected and surely this was as good as it got? This was like a regular blokes’ flat, with a sports programme playing on its huge-screen television and guys sitting around, yelling approval at the goal that had just been scored.
And then he saw what they were watching. Murderball. The loud, fast and incredibly aggressive form of wheelchair rugby that Nate was currently passionate about. Two of the other guys in the house were part of a local team and Nate was desperate to make the grade. Physically, he certainly qualified.
Many people thought that quadriplegics—or tetraplegics—were always totally paralysed from the neck down but the repercussions of a cervical injury or illness were as individual as the people who suffered them and they were graded according to whether the impairment was complete or incomplete and by how much sensory and motor function remained.
With the C6 spinal injury Nate had received at the age of ten, he had little movement or sensation in his lower body. Thankfully, the injury had been incomplete so he still had a good range of movement in his upper body and better hand function than many. If he got his strength up, he’d probably be lethal on a Murderball court.
‘Hey, Aiden. Wassup?’
‘All good, Steve. How ’bout you?’
‘This is our game from last week. Wanna watch?’
‘Sure. Not for long, though. I promised Nate I’d take him out for a beer tonight.’
The young woman who’d greeted him came into the lounge. With her short, spiky black hair and facial piercings, Samantha was unlike any of the carers he’d come across in the years of Nate’s care so far.
‘He’s out of the bathroom, Aiden. You can help him finish getting dressed if you want.’
Nathan’s face lit up as Aiden went into his room.
‘Hey, bro …’ The hand held up for a fist bump took away any awkwardness of the height difference between the brothers and Nate’s lack of hand strength. ‘What do you call a quadriplegic on your doorstep?’
Aiden rolled his eyes. ‘I thought you’d given up on the quadriplegic jokes.’
‘Matt.’ Nathan snorted with laughter and then pushed on one wheel of his chair to turn it towards a chest of drawers. ‘What do you reckon? Leather jacket or the denim one?’
‘Either’s good. We’re going to a garden bar but it’s not cold out. Want a hand?’
‘Nah … I’m good.’
Rather than watch Nate’s struggle to put the jacket on unaided, Aiden looked around his brother’s room. The poster collection was growing. Action shots of Murderball games, with wheelchairs crashing into each other and flipping sideways and the occupants only staying with them because they were strapped in.
He waved a hand at the posters. ‘You could get really injured doing that stuff, you know.’
‘Nah.’ Nathan had one sleeve of his jacket on but it was taking a few attempts to get his other hand into a sleeve hole. ‘A cracked rib or a squashed finger, maybe. Wouldn’t be calling you out with any lights or sirens. Hey … any good jobs today?’
‘Yeah … Last call was the best. This midwife was calling for transport to take a home birth in to the maternity unit in the Victoria because it had been going on too long. I overheard the call and decided to poke my nose in just because it was handy and things were quiet. Thought I’d just be waving the flag but the minute I walk in, the woman has a contraction and, boof! Umbilical cord prolapse and it’s turned into an emergency.’
‘Wow. What did you do?’
Aiden settled himself onto the end of Nathan’s bed. This would need a few minutes because Nate always wanted a blow-by-blow account of every interesting job. If he’d been able-bodied, he would have been a paramedic himself, no question about it. You’d think he’d only be reminded of what he’d never be able to do by hearing about it but he never seemed to get enough of hearing about Aiden’s professional exploits.
Or anything else about his big brother’s life, come to that. He particularly loved to hear about the women he met and those he chose to date. What they looked like, where they’d gone on their dates and whether they’d stayed the night. He’d been careful how much he’d said about the midwife on today’s job because Nate would have picked up on that pretty fast and, for some reason, Aiden hadn’t wanted to answer the inevitable questions about how cute she was or whether she was single and, if so, why hadn’t he asked her out yet?
Nate was so sure that someone was going to come along one day who would make him break his three-dates rule. Aiden was just as sure it would never happen.
If he couldn’t take responsibility for his own brother’s well-being, why the hell would he make himself responsible for anyone else? He didn’t even own a dog, for heaven’s sake, and he’d chosen a medical career where he generally never had to see his patients more than once.
Aiden Harrison was only too well aware of his limitations when it came to relationships and he’d found the perfect balance. Life was good. And it would continue to be good as long as Nathan didn’t insist on putting himself at risk. Yes … tonight was the night for having a serious talk about the future.
‘Let’s go.’ He matched the invitation with movement, standing up and opening the extra-wide door so that Nathan could manoeuvre his wheelchair into the hallway.
‘Is it okay if Sam comes too?’