Falling For The Cowboy Dad

He understood the basic concept of letters, sounds and the combination turning into words. He looked around at the kids as Grace sat down in front of a large picture graph with different weather symbols on it.

“This morning is sunny,” Grace was saying. “Who can find the picture that tells us that it’s sunny?”

Most of these children wouldn’t even know their alphabets yet, but they would be introduced to the basics this year. An idea was forming itself in his mind. He wasn’t sure if he was crazy to even be considering this, but maybe he could start over.

Billy had given up on school and put his energy into avoiding the embarrassment. But maybe as his daughter learned, he could catch up on a few basics he’d missed, too. Maybe, just maybe, he could learn to read.

Billy pulled off his hat and looked down at it for a moment, trying to hide any expression that might be betraying his thoughts right now. He hadn’t changed in his desire to hide his illiteracy, but if he could really buckle down and learn how to read at long last...

It could change everything! He could apply for higher positions at the ranch. He’d figured he’d never be anything more than regular labor, but if he could read, he might be able to work his way up to ranch manager eventually. A whole new world would open up to him, a world of instructions, information and upward mobility.

And at the end of a long day, he could sit down with Poppy and he could read her a book. Instead of pretending that he was teasing her, making up stories that only frustrated her because she wanted him to read the book properly, he could do just that—read his little girl a story.

Billy’s heart hammered in his chest, and he realized that he’d zoned out there for a minute, because the kids were moving off to different corners of the room now, and Grace was coming toward him. Billy stood up, scanned the room and found Poppy at the puppet theater with another little girl, hand in hand.

“You could probably leave now,” Grace said quietly. “Poppy has a friend. She’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, of course.” He cleared his throat, feeling a little embarrassed not to have been the one to come to that conclusion first. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Sometimes this is harder on the parents than the kids,” Grace said, putting a hand on his arm. In that moment, she was the old Grace again—the confiding pal who always saw the best in him.

“I’ll be back at three,” he said with a small smile.

Poppy didn’t even look up as Billy made his way out of the room, and he glanced back to see Grace turning toward her class, her figure outlined in the doorway. The same old Grace in so many ways, and yet she wasn’t. Then the door shut with a decisive click, and he heard Grace’s voice filtering out to him in the hallways.

“Michael P., let’s keep our hands to ourselves, please!”

Maybe Billy was crazy to think he could learn how to read, because that classroom door had just closed on his opportunity. Who was he fooling? He wasn’t a kid anymore, and he’d had his chance. Now it was Poppy’s turn to learn “all the fun stuff,” as he’d put it.

Still, he couldn’t quite stamp out that little spark of hope. And he glanced over his shoulder as his cowboy boots echoed down the hallway.

Maybe.

CHAPTER THREE

AS BILLY FINISHED up his work in the barn that afternoon, he glanced at his watch. It would be time to pick up Poppy from school pretty soon, and he’d been looking forward to it all day. He’d felt strange, disconcerted walking away from Poppy—like he was messing up in some fundamental way that he didn’t even know about. But that seemed to be his general feeling these days. He’d never been “good enough”—not for school, not for Grace. And now, not even to be a dad to a kid like Poppy.

What did he know about raising a little girl, especially one this smart? What did he know about parenting, period? He’d been raised by a chronically overworked mother who was more interested in finding a new man than she was in raising her son, and he’d ended up raising himself. Not terribly well, either. Frankly he was as surprised as anyone else that he was a functional adult. If he’d ended up with a boy to raise, he might have had a better idea of how to do it based on his own pitfalls, but a little girl? That was a whole other world!

One of the other ranch hands had suggested that he ask his mom about raising a girl, and Billy had laughed out loud at that one. His mom had barely managed to raise him. She wasn’t one to give advice about what kids needed. She’d been of the opinion that what didn’t kill a kid could be considered a success. And maybe he had picked up a lot of life lessons along the way, but he’d missed out on some important fundamentals, too.

Billy hung his shovel on the wall just as his cell phone rang from inside his shirt pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number before picking up the call. It was Mr. Ross.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Mr. Ross said, then lowered his voice. “A woman from social services. She’s here at the house, if you want to come on up.”

He didn’t have much choice, so Billy hopped into his truck and rumbled on up the gravel road. His stomach felt like it was in a vice as he drove along, wondering what to expect. He’d spent a good many years avoiding raising the suspicions of social services when he was a kid. His mom had warned him repeatedly that they’d take him away if he wasn’t careful, so facing them now just felt ominous.

The main house was a two-story affair with a porch out front and a rustic fence running around the yard. Billy parked in the gravel patch just behind the house, trying to tamp down the uneasy feelings. Apparently social services had been involved with Carol-Ann in the past, so when she passed Poppy over to him, they were coming as part of the package. It only confirmed in his mind that Poppy was better off with him, as limited as his prospects were.

He turned off the engine and hopped out of the truck. Best to get this out of the way. His boots crunched over the snow as he headed to the back door.

“Here he is now,” Mr. Ross said, pushing open the screen. “How ya doing, Billy?”

“Real good, sir.”

He and his boss exchanged a look that didn’t match their cheery banter, and as he passed into the house, Mr. Ross slapped him in the shoulder.

“One of the best workers I’ve got,” the older man said. It sounded slightly over-the-top, but Billy could appreciate the intent, at least.

The social worker was a middle-aged woman with a close-cropped hairstyle and a pair of prominent, artsy glasses. She smiled cordially and put out a hand.

“Mr. Austin, I presume?” she said.

“That’s me,” Billy said, pulling off his gloves and shaking her hand. “What can I do for you?”

“My name is Isabel Burns with Colorado Child Welfare, and we’re just following up with you about Poppy,” she said.

“Okay...” He eyed her for a moment, waiting for the blow to land.

“And I wanted to see if you need any support,” she concluded.

“Like...what kind of support?” he asked. “I’ve got a job, and I can provide for my daughter, if that’s the worry. I’m going to buy some snow pants for her this afternoon. I don’t know what the school told you—”

“No, no, this has nothing to do with the school,” she replied. “But I’m glad to hear she’s enrolled. She’s—” Isabel looked down at her computer tablet “—four years old. Am I right?”

“Yeah, four,” he confirmed. “So, what do you need from me?”

“I’m here to see if I can be of any assistance to you,” Isabel replied. “Do you have any other children?”

“No, Poppy is my only child,” he replied. His child, and he didn’t like people butting in, even when he felt ridiculously overwhelmed.

“So, she’s in preschool, then?” Isabel asked.

“Yes, ma’am. Her first day is today.”

“Wonderful. I have some information about community resources we have available for young families.” She pulled a stack of brochures out of her bag. “Take a look through when you have some time. When was her last visit to the dentist?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed. “I’ve only had her for a couple of weeks. But I’ll make a few appointments once things calm down a bit.”

“That sounds good.” She smiled again. “I’d also like to set up a visit when I could chat with Poppy, and with you. Just see how things are going for you both.”

Billy repressed a grimace. “Sure. That would be fine.”

“How about in...” She consulted her tablet again. “Two weeks? That would give you both some time to settle in, and you might have a better idea if you need any extra support.”

“Sure. Two weeks.”

Isabel pulled out a business card, scratched something on the back of it and handed it over. “Would the early evening, say around seven, be less intrusive to your schedule?”

“Probably,” he agreed. “That would be fine. We’ll be here.”

“Wonderful.” So much cheeriness, but he couldn’t help narrowing his eyes.

“And if you have any questions, any problems, or think of anything that might help you out at all, don’t hesitate to call, okay? This is my job—helping with these transitions. And my interest is in making sure that kids are getting everything that they need. I’m sure we both want the same thing there.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who abandoned her,” Billy said. “I want that on the record.”

“Mr. Austin, I’m only here to help and provide support.” Her tone grew firmer, and a little less cheery.

“Okay, then,” he said.

“I look forward to seeing you both in two weeks.”

Isabel moved toward the door and slipped back into her boots, and Billy stood there in silence.

“In that stack, there is a brochure about nutrition and sleep schedules for young children. I hope those will be helpful,” she said.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Whatever she was trying to do, it wasn’t as reassuring as seemed to be her goal. With a wave, the social worker left the house and headed to a small sedan. Billy watched as the car pulled out of the drive and headed for the main road. He heard a shuffle behind him and turned toward his boss, mildly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry about that, Mr. Ross,” he said.

“It’s not a problem, Billy. You’re going to make a fine father. I have no doubt about it. They’ll see it and let you be.”

Billy sincerely hoped that Mr. Ross was right. He actually did need help. He just didn’t trust getting that help from child-welfare services. It might not be completely logical, but he was afraid that if he showed any weakness, it might give them confirmation that he wasn’t a fit parent.

And it was more than the fact that whatever that link was between a father and his daughter, Billy felt it. She was his, and he could see evidence of that in all sorts of little mannerisms. But he’d also seen his daughter struggle with her mother’s choice to leave her. There was no way he was going to let her feel that again. Poppy needed him, and he was going to be the best parent he could possibly be.

Billy looked at his watch.

“I’ve got to go pick up Poppy from school,” he said.

“You bet,” Mr. Ross replied. “Thanks for your work today.”

So maybe Billy hadn’t had much of an example of a good parent in his own life, but at the very least he could look at what his mother had done and take the opposite path. Poppy was going to come first—always. There’d be no competition between his daughter and his romantic life. He’d probably mess up a lot of things as he navigated the world of little girls, but he wouldn’t mess up that one!

* * *

“NATHANIEL, YOUR MOM is over there,” Grace said, pointing for the little boy’s benefit. “Do you see her?”

“Mommy!” And Nathaniel was off, boots thunking against cement as he ran toward his waiting mother. Grace smiled and waved. Nathaniel was the last child to leave, except for Poppy, who stood next to Grace, her thin legs poking out of her winter boots, and her eyes wide with nervous tension. Grace reached out and smoothed a hand over Poppy’s hair. She wished she could shoulder some of that anxiety for the girl—but that wasn’t possible.

“There’s your dad,” Grace said as she spotted Billy coming across the snow, toward them, feeling a flood of relief at the sight of him. Poppy needed her dad, and Grace was a poor substitute right now.

“Oh, good...” Poppy breathed.

Grace could hear the solace in that little sigh, and her heart nearly broke. This child had been bravery itself today, making new friends while eyeing the door with a forlorn look on her face.

Grace waved Billy inside, a frigid wind whipping into the school and raising goose bumps on her arms under her blouse.

“There you are, kiddo,” Billy said with a grin. “Sorry I’m a few minutes late. Somebody came by to talk to me, and she just wouldn’t leave.”

A small smile turned up the corners of Poppy’s lips. “Why not?”

“Some people, kiddo. Some people. Anyway, I’m here now.” Billy looked over at Grace with a hesitant smile. “How’d it go?”

“Pretty well, I’d say,” Grace replied, trying not to react to those warm brown eyes of his. “I got Poppy reading some picture books, but she worked through the pile pretty quickly. I had her read to me for a little while, and I can’t find the top of her vocabulary yet. But at the same time, she’s four, so while she needs a challenge, it has to be...age appropriate.”

After watching that child stare at the door with a lonesome look in her eyes, Grace knew exactly what Poppy needed—and it wasn’t anything a teacher could provide. Grace was on the outside of the circle.

“If she can handle bigger books...” Billy said with a shrug.

“She can handle the words and the paragraphs,” Grace replied. “But the emotional intensity might be a bit much. Older kids need more of an emotionally intense plot. Little kids need more reassurance that their world is safe and secure.”

“Ah.” Billy picked up Poppy’s backpack and put it over his own shoulder. He was silent for a moment, and Grace looked down at his daughter.

“You ready to go home, Poppy?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Poppy said quietly, and she looked up at her father, looking deflated and tired.

“The...uh...the woman who came by the ranch was from child welfare,” Billy said, and he met Grace’s gaze, his expression hollow and tired, too. He wanted to talk, she could tell.

“Poppy, do you remember that book you liked about the bear family?” Grace said, turning to the little girl. “I wanted to show your dad. Could you run and find it? It’s in the pile somewhere...”

“Okay...” Poppy looked up at her father.

“Yeah, I’d like to see it,” he said with a nod. “Go ahead.”

Poppy trundled back into the classroom, and Grace looked up at Billy. “Who called child welfare on you?”

“It’s not that. Apparently they were involved a lot with Carol-Ann, so when she passed guardianship to me, they were already in the picture,” he replied. “Anyway, the child welfare lady is coming back in two weeks, and I want to have something to show her—something to prove I’m the right one for my daughter, as stupid as it is that I even have to defend that...but Poppy needs to learn stuff that I can’t teach her.”

Billy was in over his head, and like he had done in the past, he was coming to her. There’d been a time when she would have done anything he asked...

“I’m not sure what you’re worried about,” Grace replied. “She’s doing just fine. I mean, if anything, she’s miles ahead.”

“And she’s bored,” he said.

“You know what they say about reading to kids—” she began.

“No, she’s really bored. She needs more than I can give her...intellectually. I don’t know what to show her next, and she’s constantly asking me to teach her something. Look, I can just feel it. She needs to learn stuff, and I’m at a loss here.”

“I could recommend a tutor—” she started.

“Why not you?” he asked, and he met her gaze pleadingly.

“I’m not going to be here long-term,” she countered. “I’m very, very temporary.”

“For the next couple of weeks, then,” he said. “I trust you, Gracie. If you could teach Poppy some extra stuff—satisfy that curiosity of hers—I think it would go a long way toward showing social services that they have nothing to worry about.”

“You’re going to be fine,” she said, and she wished she sounded more certain. He would be...wouldn’t he? This was his daughter—his family situation didn’t include her. “I’ll definitely give her some extra challenge in the classroom, and I can send some books home that you could read with her.”

Billy swallowed. “So that’s a no?”

No. That was the right answer here. She should turn him down and send him to a teaching assistant or some local tutor. But she’d always been his answer, his trusty friend, and while they’d been apart for a few years, falling back into their old patterns seemed as natural as breathing. That was the problem with Billy—he fit into her heart too perfectly, and she never could say no to him. Not that it made any difference in how he’d seen her. Billy admired her, trusted her... He even thought she was funny. He just didn’t love her in return.

Just then Poppy came back with the book under one arm and a hopeful look on her face.

“I got it!” she said. “Daddy, you’ll like this one. It’s got a bear fixing a car, and you like fixing cars, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” he said with a smile, then he looked over at Grace hopefully. She knew what he wanted, and if she hadn’t spent the last three years trying to purge him out of her system, agreeing to teach that insatiable little sponge would have been a pleasure.

“You hungry, Grace?” Billy asked instead.

“Uh...” Grace shrugged. “I suppose.”

“Why don’t you come with us for an early dinner? My treat. Poppy and I like pizza, and I seem to remember you liked sausage pizza.” He shot her a familiar smile. “Besides, maybe you’ll give me some credibility with my daughter. I told her we were friends.”

The sound of high heels echoing down the hallway made Grace look up, and she saw Mrs. Mackel coming toward them.

“Hello, Poppy,” the principal said with a smile. “How was your first day?”

Poppy made a face. “I didn’t like it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the principal said. “I have a feeling tomorrow will be better, though.”

Poppy didn’t answer, and Mrs. Mackel turned her attention to Grace.

“Do you have a moment, Miss Beverly?”

“Sure.”

They stepped aside, and the principal handed her a slip of paper with a phone number written on it. “I just spoke with the principal at an elementary school in Denver. You applied for a job starting in September, I believe?”

“Yes—” Grace’s breath caught in her throat.

“He was just checking on your references, and I gave him a glowing one. He asked that you give him a call. He sounded very interested in you.”

A surge of delight throbbed through her heart, and she shot the principal a grin. “That is wonderful news!”

“I agree!” Mrs. Mackel said. “Whichever school gets you is incredibly lucky! I’m happy for you, Grace. I hope it isn’t premature, but congratulations.”

Grace would call the principal in question just as soon as she could, and she looked over to find Billy watching her quizzically. Mrs. Mackel headed back down the hallway, toward the school office.

“You got offered a job?” Billy said.

So much for discretion. “I hope so... It looks that way.”

“Where is the school?”

“Denver,” she said. “But nothing is confirmed yet. I need to return a phone call.”

“Yeah, you bet.” He nodded quickly, but the glitter had gone out of his eyes. He pressed his lips together in a firm line. This was hers—she’d been looking for full-time work for a year now, and to finally have a request for her to call back after checking her references was a massive accomplishment. She’d never gotten this far in the process before. Not that he’d know that.

“Billy, I wasn’t staying—” she began.

“Yeah, I know.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. She didn’t need him to understand this, did she? They couldn’t be the pair of best friends they used to be...

“You did the same thing to me when you took off with Tracy,” she reminded him with what she hoped was a teasing smile, but she wasn’t sure she managed it.

“Hey, you’ve got to do what’s good for you,” he said, scooping up his daughter’s hand in his broad palm. “I’m happy for you. I just wish I had you around Eagle’s Rest for longer.”

Why did she feel like she was abandoning him? It wasn’t a fair emotional reaction to this. She didn’t owe Billy Austin a blasted thing. She wasn’t his fallback in time of need—she was a woman with a life of her own, and her life was moving forward at long last.

“So, what about that pizza?” he said.

Okay, it seemed they were over her news and back to dinner plans. She pushed down some irritation. She should say no, bow out...but she had a feeling that she’d have reason to celebrate, and there was no harm in some pizza, was there? She eyed Billy for a moment, then smiled. “Give me a minute to return this call, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Miss Beverly?” Poppy whispered, and Grace bent down to catch the girl’s words. “Who’s going to teach me calculus?” Poppy stared up with solemn sincerity.

Grace looked up at Billy and saw hope glimmering through his own solemn expression.

Maybe she could help him out for a couple of weeks. What could it hurt? If she refused, she’d only think about him constantly anyway. Besides, some time with him might help to break the spell. He was a man—nothing more or less—and a lot had changed since he had run off with Tracy. Maybe some time together could prove that to her, and she could shake her heart free of him for good.

“Well, tonight I can’t show you calculus,” Grace said, “but I can introduce you to fractions...”

“Fractions?” Poppy’s eyes lit up. “What’s that?”

“I’ll show you with the pizza,” Grace promised.

“So...” Billy caught her eye. “Are you saying you’ll help me out?”

“Yes,” she said with a small smile. “I suppose I am. For two weeks. But that’s all we’ve got, okay? After that, you’ll have to find someone else.”

“Thank you. You’re one in a million—you know that?” He shot her a grin, and she felt something inside of her melt.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied with a shake of her head. She always had been, and Billy had never seen it. He might not deserve her help, but this wasn’t only about Billy. Standing there, with a book about bears clutched in front of her and hope in her big blue eyes, was a little girl who wanted to learn.

How could Grace refuse?

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