About Last Night...

She glanced at her cell phone. The words announced three missed calls and two new voice-mail messages. “Persistent, isn’t he?” She picked up the phone and checked the caller ID display. The first number with multiple calling times was, as she’d thought, Shane’s. The second read J. Jacobsen. She frowned. Curious, Lindy dialed her voice mail.

“Lindy, it’s Shane. Where are you? I’ve been calling you all day. I’m starting to get really worried. Call me.”

Lindy hit seven-seven, erasing his newest message before his warm baritone washed over her and melted her resolve. As soon as the right job came along, she had to leave him.

The next message was from Shane’s grandfather. “Lindy? This is Joe Jacobsen. Would it be possible for you to come to my office Monday at nine? I have a few matters I’d like to discuss with you professionally, and Easter dinner is not the time or place. You do know you’re invited? Shane did tell you, right? See you tomorrow and then on Monday.”

Lindy erased that message, reached for her day planner and penciled in 9:00 a.m. Joe Jacobsen. She wasn’t sure what Shane’s grandfather wanted with her on Monday, but in the three years she’d been working for Shane she’d learned to jump when Grandpa Joe said jump. Founder of Jacobsen Enterprises, one of the largest companies in St. Louis, Joe Jacobsen was a self-made man along the lines of Andrew Carnegie. Even though Joe was as kindhearted as a teddy bear, in business and in life he always got what he wanted. As for Easter dinner, she could safely pass on that.

A knock sounded at her door, distracting her from the pressing problem of Shane’s faulty memory and the fact that eventually she’d have to call him back. Her pizza had finally arrived. Lindy rose to her feet, glad that she’d taken a shower after her roommate Tina had left. There had been a lecture—all about Shane’s shortcomings—that Lindy hadn’t needed. She rubbed her head one more time. Her headache had almost totally disappeared, and now with food she’d hopefully finally feel better and find a solution to her current problem.

Besides, after all, she wasn’t sure if she was happy, sad or just plain outright furious. Shane Jacobsen had no idea what had happened to him. The best lovemaking of her life and he didn’t remember it. Of course, she’d spent the whole drive home worried about what to say to him. That problem was solved—he didn’t remember anything.

But darn him! He wasn’t supposed to have blacked out! To be unmemorable, to have been forgotten…She grabbed her checkbook, headed for the door, and pulled it open. Unfortunately, the pizza deliveryman didn’t stand on the threshold.

“Shane!”

“There you are!” Shane rushed in and, before Lindy could move, he enveloped her in a gigantic bear hug. His damp hair fell into his face and an immediate warmth from his body traveled to hers. Her knees wobbled and Shane steadied her before leaning back so that he could see her face. “Lindy, you’ve had me worried sick. I’ve been calling you for hours. Why haven’t you been answering? You are okay, aren’t you?”

Lindy blinked, trying to find focus. Ah, to be in his strong arms again—her traitorous body awakened once more. Her breasts thrust forward as if seeking him, and heat began to pool.

No! Lindy yanked her mind back into full control and drew back a step, away from Shane. Immediate welcome coolness descended as she detached herself from Shane’s embrace. Her knees wobbled as she turned her back to him. Control. She needed control. She concentrated on making her step steady as she walked toward the couch. Thankfully he didn’t seem to notice.

“Why didn’t you call me back?”

“I was taking a nap.” Lindy sat down, her legs more secure against the solid green cushions. Then she made the mistake of looking up at him.

Despite looking vexed, to her Shane had never seemed more beautiful. His jeans molded to his athletic legs, and his polo shirt revealed those wonderful arms that had just again held her tight to his chest. And those blue eyes that had held such promise last night right now revealed endless concern and care that was just for her.

How long had she waited for him look at her this way? As if he felt something for her?

Again she wanted to drown in him, to feel him against her, to let the illusions wash over her. She could still almost feel the way his fingers had stroked her skin and…

“Lindy, you never nap.”

She blinked, fantasy thankfully shattered with his words. “There’s always a first time. That is okay, isn’t it? I was tired so I turned off the phone and took a nap.”

Shane’s full lips turned downward and Lindy fought off a sudden urge and desire to kiss away his frown. “I’m being a cad,” Shane announced. “Are you sick? Can I get you anything? A pillow? Aspirin? What can I do to help?”

Lindy sighed. How could she get riled up at him? He’d been so worried about her not calling him back that he’d shown up on her doorstep. At moments like this Shane was at his best. Shane was not all his playboy image portrayed. After working with Shane for three years, Lindy knew a Shane few others did. She’d seen him when he’d made a dying child’s wish come true; she’d seen him care about situations others had washed their hands of. She’d seen him sit by his friend Dan’s hospital bed during Dan’s illness. And here he was, showing up because he’d been worried about her. How could she even think of leaving him?

Her mind wrestled with her heart as a desperate resolve filled her. She fisted her hands together. For her own long-term sanity and future she had to try. She could not let herself be sucked into the easy charm that was—and always would be—Shane Jacobsen. She was his personal assistant. That’s all she’d ever be, and it was a cruel illusion to pretend otherwise, to dream he might one day fall in love with her.

Deliberately she made her voice cold. “Thanks for being worried about me. But besides that, why are you here? Is there something you needed?”

“Water would be good,” Shane said, totally misinterpreting her chilly undertone. He gave her a smile that could have kept the winter frost from harming the spring tulips. Part of her burned, and she struggled for self-control.

“I’ll get you some.” Grateful for the diversion, Lindy stood, sidestepped Shane, and moved into the kitchen. Once in the safety of the small, enclosed space, she gripped the edge of the counter and gave herself a mental pep talk. She could do this. In Shane’s mind nothing had changed between them. He didn’t remember last night. That was a good thing. All the aces were in her hand. She could play them any way she wished.

Shane was still standing when she left the kitchen. She handed him the tall glass of ice water, and as their fingers touched a raw electric spark shot through her, the same type of shock that had jolted through her last night. Last night she rationalized her reaction to Shane’s touch as being from drinking alcohol. No such excuse existed now. She jumped back and stared at Shane.

“Static,” he said.

“Yes,” Lindy replied.

As he finished his sip of water she could almost see the clear liquid slide down his throat, and she swallowed, too. This man was pure charisma. She just needed to think of him clinically now. That was all.

“Thanks,” Shane said as he sat down on the sofa. “I was worried because you always call me back.”

He took another long drink before placing the glass on a woven coaster that Tina had brought back from one of her trips to London. “I really need to talk to you. I have no memory of last night. The last thing I remember is calling you. I did call you, didn’t I?”

“You did.” Lindy could admit that safely. Her legs suddenly unsteady again, she sat down in a chair located perpendicular to the sofa where Shane sat.

“At least I remember that much.” Shane raked a hand through his now dry hair. “I must have really done a good one last night. Look at this. My grandfather stopped by this afternoon and said I have a hickey.” He moved aside the shirt’s collar and showed Lindy the spot on his neck. “Boy, did I get a lecture.”

Lindy’s hand flew up to cover her open mouth, and for a brief, imperceptible moment she closed her eyes. During their passion, she’d left a mark on his neck. He’d been joined with her, and as he’d swept her along to another crest she’d reached up to kiss him, and…

Her eyes flew open and she jerked her telltale hand away from her mouth and put it in her lap. She’d been so carried away that she hadn’t stopped kissing him. The evidence was right there in front of her like a badge of honor on Shane’s neck. Horrified at what she’d done, she needed all her mettle to steel her face into neutral.

Shane leaned forward and took Lindy’s hand in his. The heat from his touch seared her, and she shifted uncomfortably as her body went into overdrive, once again desiring what it had enjoyed a little more than twelve hours earlier. Would she ever stop wanting him, especially now, after she’d had him? She had to try. She yanked her hand from his.

Shane frowned. “Lindy, how did I get this? I remember a redhead, but I know I didn’t do anything with her. But if I have this, then who was I with?”

Lindy’s heart constricted. At that moment, he looked so vulnerable. But she knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. How could she just say, “Shane, you slept with me. I’m the one you don’t remember. The one that left that mark on your neck.”

Yeah, right. He always saw her as good old Lindy. His PA. A pal. And what type of relationship would she have with Shane if he knew? Not the one she wanted. Men like Shane Jacobsen didn’t marry their PAs. Men like Shane didn’t even know what love was. They thought it was an illusion, a holy grail. No, best he never know the truth.

She gave Shane a narrow look, and he turned his big blue puppy-dog eyes on her. “Let me guess. You want me to find out for you.”

“Yes,” Shane said. “It’ll look awkward if I ask around. No one at the party needs to know I can’t remember. And if anyone can find out discreetly, you can. Please do me this favor.”

All afternoon, Lindy had replayed every detail of the previous night at least a million times. Now she mentally ran through the list of party guests again. No one had seen her get together with Shane.

She took a deep breath, steadying herself for the task ahead, the one that she had to do whether she liked it or not. “No,” Lindy said.

“What?” Shane’s head rebounded and the W-shaped furrow that appeared between his eyes showed his displeasure.

“No,” Lindy repeated. She drew another steadying breath. “Shane, I’m sorry, but this is not in my job description.”

His look of disbelief was Cary Grant classic. “You’re my personal assistant and you’re saying no? You’ve always handled my personal business before. Isn’t this personal business?”

“No. It’s purely personal, not business. We may have developed a friendship over the years we’ve worked together, but you’re my boss, Shane. It’s time each of us remembered that.”

“You’ve done it before, Lindy. Remember when you got rid of Janine for me? She was almost a stalker until you took care of her.”

“Perhaps, but she was interfering with business by showing up at the pool house.”

“And how is this different from then?”

“It just is. Look at you. You don’t even know what happened to you. That’s not my job, Shane, it’s yours no matter how awkward. From this point forward I’m not going to be involved in your personal life. Period.”

Disappointment etched his beautiful features, and at that moment Lindy knew she’d spoiled Shane. Long before last night she’d crossed the line between professional and personal. She’d become his confidant, his problem-solver and his sounding board.

But no more. Not after last night. She had to redraw the line. She was tired of the one-way relationship. She gave; he took. And since a two-way relationship was just a pipe dream, it was best if she drew the line in the sand and put their relationship purely on a business level once and for all until she found another job.

Nerves buzzing, Lindy took another deep breath and attempted to control her inner shaking. “And while we’re at it, Shane, you need to realize that I’m not planning on being with you forever. I’ve got career aspirations. I want to use my degree, not just schedule your dates and buy them roses or a trinket when you’re bored and toss them aside.”

“You can’t be serious.” Shane’s jaw dropped open, his look aghast. “You’re the best PA I’ve ever had. You can’t leave me. I need you.”

Shane needed her. Lindy wanted to cry at that irony. How she wished this was true. She’d taken Psychology 101 in college. Shane really could do all the work for his foundation himself. No, Shane craved attention, not her. Because of his family situation, he’d grown up wanting someone to dote on him, the way she’d been doing the past three years as his personal assistant. That couldn’t be her role any longer. Not after last night.

Lindy forced herself to look at Shane. “I’m the only PA you’ve ever had and I am serious. You need to handle your personal affairs, even if you don’t remember them.”

The jaw she’d planted kisses all over dropped open again. “You really know how to kick a guy when he’s down.” He winced, as if a headache had returned. “Happy birthday, Shane. Find out yourself who you did last night. By the way, I’m leaving.”

“You’re sounding like a spoiled brat,” Lindy said.

Shane blinked. “Only you can take such liberties and call me that.”

“But I’m right.”

He exhaled slowly. “Yes. You’re right I have no excuse except to say that this weekend has me out of sorts. Your news on top of the fact that I have this nagging suspicion that something happened is simply not making for a good day.”

Lindy cringed. She’d been raised to be honest and it went against her grain to tell even a small white lie. But she had no better alternative. In this case, the cliché did not fit. The truth would not set her free.

“Look Shane, maybe nothing happened. Maybe it was a gag. Did you ever think of that? That someone just pinched you really hard on your neck.”

Shane’s jaw set and a muscle in his cheek twitched. “I know you dislike my friends, but none of them are that juvenile.”

She suddenly felt like Kevin Costner’s character in No Way Out. Hiding herself while in charge of finding herself. “Shane, besides Marci and Dan, most of the people you associate with are a bunch of freeloaders or women who just want to be Mrs. Shane Jacobsen. Think about that for a moment. I mean, what do you do that’s real? Honestly, some days I don’t know why you need a PA. It’s not as if the work you do is time-consuming.”

“You sound like my grandfather, who also gave me that lecture earlier today.” Shane let the acrid comment hang for a moment before adding, “He also wants you to come to Easter dinner tomorrow night.”

Lindy took a cleansing breath. Because of Grandpa Joe’s earlier message, she’d had some time to prepare for this dilemma. “I can’t make it.”

Shane stared at her, that beautiful jaw again slightly open. He snapped it shut before speaking. “You’re killing me, Lindy. I don’t need any more bad news or the grief of showing up without you.”

“Shane, I’m your employee. Employees do not go to family Easter dinners.”

“I thought you were my friend.” Shane sat there a long moment. “I even shared my personal journals with you. I’d never before let anyone see what I’d written.”

He had shared with her, and early in their work relationship, Lindy, starry-eyed with love, had let herself get too close to Shane. Her stomach churned as she remembered.

In one journal, Shane had written about the pain of losing a girl he’d fallen in love with at camp, the summer between fifth and sixth grade. Their love had been that sweet innocent kind between two shy people who hardly talk, yet somehow they know they are meant for each other. How Shane had looked forward to seeing her the next year, only to discover upon his arrival that she was on the charter bus pulling away. Years later, Shane still remembered the way she’d pressed her hand against the dirty glass as she disappeared forever from his view.

Yes, Shane had shared his journals with Lindy, and that day one thing had become certain to Lindy—she could never compete with what Shane envisioned his perfect love to be. Lindy would never be enough—never be the one.

But she’d stayed at her job, mostly because she hadn’t had the courage to stay away, becoming daily too attached, falling too hard for the man she cared way too much for, who could never feel the same way in return. But last night she’d well and truly crossed the line, and it gave her a raw, untapped strength. She hated hurting him with her next words, but in the long run it was for the best that a space be placed between them.

“You don’t pay your friends,” Lindy pointed out.

Shane shook his head, sending his blond hair falling forward across his eyebrow. “That argument is weak, Lindy. Weak. I can see I made a mistake worrying about you. That’s something friends would do.”

He stood up, his features etched with frustration as if he’d bitten bitter fruit. Lindy’s fingers longed to smooth away the lines her words had caused. She knew she’d sucker punched him.

First his parents had forgotten his birthday, and now she’d effectively killed their friendship. But her one-sided relationship with him had to stop. She’d known him too long and knew he’d never find that elusive woman he wanted. She couldn’t keep on loving him and remain sane. She had to let him go, even if it was the hardest thing she’d ever do.

“I’m sorry,” she said as Shane put his hand on the doorknob. Even to her own ears her apology sounded lame.

He gave her one last look. “You’re a great assistant, Lindy. Even though you don’t think I really work for a living, I do have some responsibilities. So, I’ll see you Monday morning. You are still planning on showing up, aren’t you?”

There it was. The perfect opportunity to get out professionally, even if it meant taking a pay cut. She’d already indicated she was leaving. Now all Lindy had to cement it was say, “but only until I find another job.” She opened her mouth, but the words finalizing her break with Shane refused to come.

“Monday morning,” Lindy agreed with a nod. She couldn’t look him in the eye, and instead stared at the floor.

The door clicked when he shut it behind him. Then—and only then—did Lindy look up. She stared at the door to her apartment. It desperately needed a fresh coat of paint.

“I’m thinking about paint.” Tears watered her eyes and rivered their way down to wet her cheeks. The opportunity had presented itself, but she hadn’t walked away. Would she ever be able to let Shane Jacobsen out of her life? Fool! Fool! Fool! She again resolved to seriously look for a new job come Monday.

Her home phone rang and Lindy picked it up. “Shane?”

“Is this Lindy Brinks?”

Disappointment mixed with relief. “Speaking.”

“I’m calling about your pizza. We’ve had some oven problems and it’s going to be at least another half hour before we can deliver it. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience. We’ll include a coupon for a free pizza the next time you order. You still want it, right?”

“Sure, send it.” She hung up the phone, a dark depression settling over her. Shane was like the pizza. She still wanted him, but it certainly wasn’t worth the trouble anymore. Too bad she was still hungry.

Chapter Two

“So where’s Lindy?”

“Greetings to you, too,” Shane said as he stepped through the front door of his grandfather’s massive Ladue manse. “Lindy sends her regrets. She can’t make it.”

“Why?” Grandpa Joe’s eyes narrowed and he stroked his white beard thoughtfully. “With her parents on opposite coasts, she doesn’t have any family here. Did she go out of town?”

“Lindy’s in town and I don’t know why she didn’t come,” Shane replied. “She said she had other plans. Besides, I’m her employer, not her keeper.”

Grandpa Joe’s snow-white eyebrows arched. “It sounds like you two have had a spat.”

Was that what had happened yesterday? A spat? Shane considered Grandpa Joe’s antiquated word. In all honesty, even though he’d been thinking about it nonstop, Shane still didn’t know quite what had happened. Even writing in his journal about the weekend’s events hadn’t given him any perspective.

Lindy, good old Lindy who had never once complained about her job, had suddenly hit him between the eyes with what she would and would not do. She was his employee, she’d declared, not his friend. If she’d remain his employee at all.

That still stung. And yes, he’d had to admit to himself in the past twenty-two hours that perhaps he had taken her for granted, that he’d considered her a friend, a sounding board. Perhaps he’d been wrong to have been so free with his confidences and personal requests. But he and Lindy had worked so well together, and never once had she complained.

Shane shifted his weight and followed his grandfather into the huge great room. The rest of the family had already arrived. “Shane!” His half sister Bethany came over and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

They probably hadn’t talked in ages, Shane thought. Older than him by five years, Bethany, his mother’s daughter from her first marriage, was busy with her successful pediatric practice, her own two children, and her husband.

“So did you have a good birthday? Twenty-five now.” Bethany shook her head. “I can’t believe that in a few months I’ll turn thirty and that Olivia and Nick will hit that three-o mark just a few months after me.”

Shane glanced around the room, seeing his cousin Harry, his wife Megan, and Bethany’s clan. Shane’s half brother, his dad’s son by his first marriage, though, was strangely absent. “Speaking of, where is Nick?”

“He stayed in Chicago,” his half sister Olivia said as she approached. She leaned toward her younger sibling and said conspiratorially, “Word has it that Grandpa Joe isn’t too pleased with my twin brother. And Claire’s in Aruba on a much-needed vacation so she’s forgiven. But Nick’s not.”

“Ah, then maybe the heat will be off me for once,” Shane said.

Olivia’s blue eyes twinkled mischievously. “I doubt that. You know how gossip runs in this family. It’s all over that you had a pretty good party Friday night. Glad it was you and not me. So tell me, have you recovered?”

“All but my memory,” Shane admitted. Thankfully it was a cool night and the turtleneck he wore hid the telltale mark. “I even cleaned up some so that Cleo won’t throw a fit.”

“A wise move,” Olivia said. “Did Sara and Dad ever call?”

“Yeah, this afternoon. Of course it was like 7:00 a.m. Australian time, and of course Monday there.”

“Ooh,” Olivia said. “Did they even try to give you an excuse?”

“You know. New secretary. It was Easter weekend. That type of thing.”

“Cocktail, sir?” James, the family butler and groundskeeper of over twenty years, approached.

“Water is fine,” Shane answered. “And how is Cindy?”

“She’s fine, sir. I’ll tell her you inquired.”

“He’s so funny,” Shane said to Olivia after James had moved away.

“Unlike Dad and Sara, I can’t imagine a family event without James and his wife,” Olivia replied.

“True.” Besides being the family cook, Cindy had also been Shane’s first nanny. They were practically family. Of course, Lindy wouldn’t agree, Shane thought as he reached for the water James was handing him. She’d say they were employees.

The ringing of a knife tapping a glass interrupted Shane’s momentary bitterness. His attention diverted, he turned to see his cousin Harry holding up a champagne glass. “Everyone, before we go into dinner, Megan and I have an announcement to make. In eight months you’ll be welcoming the newest addition!”

Shane saw his grandmother Henrietta clasp her hands together and hug her husband. Then she went and hugged both Harry and Megan. “I think we need champagne,” Grandpa Joe told James.