Dreaming Of… Bali

“That’s quite a picture you paint of me,” he said, laughing at the nefarious motives Riya attributed to his actions.

Even preferred it to the truth. Because the reality of losing a friend who had known him for over a decade was all too painful, the hollow in his gut all too real. The number of people who were constants in his life over the past decade were two—Sonia and his manager, Jacob.

The realization that he was condemning his very soul to loneliness still shook him.

But then Sonia had left him with no choice, giving him an ultimatum between her love and her friendship. One time of seeking comfort with her, of breaking his rule, and she had forgotten he didn’t do relationships, forgotten that he lived his life alone by choice, that he’d turned his heart into a stone painstakingly over the years.

That he couldn’t let himself become weak by giving in to emotions.

He’d immediately told Sonia that it had been a mistake, that it changed nothing. That they could never repeat it.

It was his fault that he hadn’t held her at arm’s length like with everyone from the beginning, that she was hurt. His fault that he’d given in to temptation with the woman in front of him, even more ill-suited to handle him than Sonia.

Her fingers bunched in his shirt, Riya’s brown eyes blazed with anger and confusion. “How can you be so...so careless about someone’s pain? So casual about the havoc you’re wreaking?”

“On her?” He gripped her hands with his, feeling a powerlessness course through him. He had punished himself by sending Sonia away, and that Riya judged him for that only fanned his fury. “Or on you and your plan? It was a damn good kiss, Riya, but don’t let it distract you from your plan.”

She let go of him as if he had struck her. “I know I’m nothing more than an entertaining challenge to you. And that kiss...it’s nothing but you proving to me that I’m out of my element with you. But she and you have known each other for a decade, and now no one knows where she is.”

He turned toward the stunning vista, his knuckles showing white against the brown of the wood paneling. “No injustice has been done to her. Sonia is a twenty percent shareholder in RunAway. She’ll be all right.” It was the only thing that gave him solace.

“Then why did she leave?”

“Because I told her in no uncertain terms that she has no place in my life anymore. Pity, because she was my only friend,” he said in a low voice.

Riya reeled at how easily the words fell from Nathan’s mouth. But the affected disinterest didn’t extend to the pain in his eyes. Whatever he had done with Sonia, it hadn’t left him untouched. “Why?”

“She messed up at the one thing I asked her not to do.”

“What could she have done that you removed her from your life like you would delete a file?”

He smiled at her consternation, but there was no warmth in that smile. There was no mockery, there was no humor in his gaze. Only the shadow of pain, only unflinching honesty. “She fell in love with me. Despite knowing I’m allergic to the whole concept.”

The impact of his words came at Riya like a bucket of ice-cold water.

“She knew I didn’t want her love. She knew nothing was ever going to come out of it. But she didn’t listen. Now she’s cost us both a friendship that should have lasted a lifetime.”

It didn’t matter that it hurt him to lose that. He had still cut Sonia out of his life. He had never turned around for Robert. He was exactly the kind of man who walked away without looking back. The why of it didn’t matter in front of his actions.

It was all the proof Riya needed to realize that of all the men on the planet she could have been attracted to, Nathan was the most dangerous of all.

CHAPTER SIX

FOR THREE WEEKS after they returned to San Francisco, Riya slept in one of the extra rooms that had been booked at a downtown hotel in addition to the conference room for the Travelogue team.

Nathan had given her team three weeks to put together a package for the launch event, and for her, to build the software model that would support that package. Even though he could still dismantle them if they didn’t come up to scratch, he was definitely giving them a chance first.

It didn’t help knowing that his own team from another company was also putting something together at the same time. He expected her company to fail and she was determined to prove him wrong.

Three weeks in which Riya had backed off from pestering him about their deal, in which she had slept only minimum hours to develop the final model for software, in which he had set a relentless pace, driving every member of Travelogue and his own team crazy. Three weeks in which Jackie had figured out somehow that Nathan was back because of Riya, that she had willingly offered to sign away the estate.

Nothing Riya said helped, not that she had a lot of time.

Nathan worked just as hard as they did, putting in long hours, giving much-needed direction and expertise. If they encountered a problem, there was nowhere to go until a solution was found.

As manic as he had been in his energy, he also had tremendous motivating capabilities. With the entire team working together in a conference hall, exchanging ideas and finding instant solutions for challenges they encountered, it had been the best workweek of her life.

There was something to his energy, to his credo of doing everything right then, of implementing an idea as best and as soon as possible.

Now the beta testing they had done of the model had been a spectacular success, and they had entered the next iteration. It was three weeks since Nate and she had struck that deal, and he had yet to see Robert.

She’d been trying to get a word with him for two days and failed. The man was a machine, traveling, working, managing teams all over the world... Knowing that tonight he was just a few floors above her, in the penthouse suite, she had to take this chance.

Squaring her shoulders, Riya took the elevator. The doors swished open and she entered the vast black-and-white-tiled foyer.

For a few seconds, she was lost in the brilliant San Francisco skyline visible through the French doors. Subdued ceiling lights cast a hushed glow over the steel and chrome interior.

She spotted Nathan in the open lounge, clad in gray sweatpants that hung precariously low on his hips, doing push-ups.

The line of his back, defined and pulling tight over stretched muscles, was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. The copper highlights in his hair glinted and winked in the low lights.

Sweat shone over the smooth, tanned skin of his back, his breathing punctured by his soft grunts. Warmth uncurled in Riya’s belly, her own breathing becoming choppy and disjointed.

In a lithe movement that would have made a wild animal proud, he shot to his feet and grabbed a bottle of water.

Her mouth dry, Riya watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed. A drop of sweat poured down his neck and chest, which was lean with sharply bladed muscles. A sprinkle of copper-colored hair covered his pectorals and formed a line down his hard stomach. His shoulder bones jutted out, his throat working convulsively as he swallowed. He wasn’t pumped up with bulging muscles, but what was there of him had such sculpted definition that her fingers itched to trace it.

She had the most overwhelming urge to cross the hall and to press her hands against that warm skin, breathe in the scent of him.

Shivering from a heat that speared across her skin like a fire, she was about to clear her throat when she saw him sway. He was so tall and lean that it was like seeing an immovable thing buck against a faint breeze. Her heart lurched into her throat as his knees buckled under him.

Riya didn’t know she could move so fast. Working on auto, she grabbed his shoulders just as he sank onto his haunches, his head bent. She tapped his cheek, fear twisting in her gut. “Nathan...Nathan...”

She ran her hands all over him, his shoulders, his neck, her throat aching. “Nate, honey? Please look at me...”

His fingers closed on her upper arm, almost bruising in their grip, and he slowly raised his head. His gaze remained unfocused for a second longer, before it rested on her face. He blinked then. “Did I scare you, butterfly?”

Fear still clawed at her, but she fought it. This was ridiculous. He was right in front of her, solid and arrogant, as always.

“Riya?”

“Yes?”

His fingers moved from her arm to her wrist, firing neurons left and right. “Don’t leave just yet, okay?”

She nodded, the stubble on his jaw scratching against her palm. He didn’t look dizzy or disoriented.

Slowly he peeled her fingers from his jaw but didn’t let go. “Are you all right?”

Breathing hard, Riya pulled her hand, but his grip was firm. “Me?” She licked her lips and his gaze moved to her mouth. “I’m fine. I thought you...Nathan? You almost fainted.”

Something flickered in the depths of his eyes. For a second, Riya could swear it was fear. But it was replaced by warmth.

He flashed a grin that stole her breath. He dragged her hand to his chest.

Skin like rough velvet, hot as if there were a furnace under it, stretched taut over his chest. His nipple poked the base of her palm. His hand covered hers as his heart raced beneath it. “See? In perfect working condition,” he murmured, but Riya had no idea what he meant.

And his gaze locked with hers again.

It lingered there with such focus that she wouldn’t have known her name then. All she wanted was to sink into his touch, to make sure he was all there. He was always so incredibly focused, so unbearably driven that the seconds-long spell fractured something inside her. Something knotty and hard sat uncomfortably in her throat, and giving in, Riya threw her arms around him. Buried her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. “You scared the hell out of me, Nathan.”

He was like a hard, hot statue for a second, and then his hands moved over her back slowly. For a second, his arms were like vines around her, holding her so tight and hard that her lungs struggled to work, and Riya felt her armor shatter.

“Shh. I’m okay,” he finally said, releasing her. Pulling her hands forward, he clasped her face with his hands, a burning resolve in his eyes. “I do, however, need a little fortification, butterfly.” His breath came in little pants as he made a lithe movement and tugged at her lower lip with his teeth.

A peal of shuddering pleasure rang through Riya and she shivered all over. Gasping at the sharp nip, she braced herself against him. Had every intention of pushing him back. But the moment her palms landed on his shoulders, she was a goner.

With a ragged groan, he covered her mouth again.

He was hot, sweaty, hard, trembling and he was everything she wanted right then. His fingers crept into her hair, held her hard as he stroked her mouth, changed angles and kissed her again.

As if he couldn’t stop, as if he couldn’t breathe if he did, as if his entire universe was reduced to her.

At least that was how it felt to her.

He pushed her to the floor, and her limbs folded easily.

“Nathan,” she whispered as he covered her body with his and claimed her mouth again. He didn’t just kiss; he devoured her, ensnared her senses. He made her feel giddily excited and incredibly safe at the same time.

“Please, Riya.” His tongue traced the seam of her lower lip; his fingers tightened in her hair. “Open up for me.”

The guttural request sent Riya over the edge.

He teased her tongue, nibbled her mouth, bit her lower lip and when she gasped into his mouth, he stroked it with his tongue. She couldn’t breathe with the pleasure as he sucked at her tongue.

This kiss was so different from the first one. It wasn’t about give or take. It was about claiming, possessing, about wringing an earthy response that she couldn’t deny. It was all about what their bodies did together, how perfectly soft she was against his hardness, how a simple touch and gasp could send them both shuddering.

Her breasts became heavier; her nipples ached. Her spine arched as he locked her hard against him, every inch of him pushing and pressing against her trembling body.

Because lying underneath his shuddering body, lying underneath all the rippling muscle and heated hardness, she felt he was her universe. She opened her legs to cradle him and he moaned against her neck, ground himself into her pulsing heat with a hard grunt.

To feel the hard length of him throb against her aching core, to hear the violent curse that fell from his lips as she moved her pelvis against that unrelenting hardness...it was bliss. It was heaven. And it was nowhere near enough.

“Oh, please, Nate...” Her whisper was raw, close to begging.

She wanted to peel her clothes off, wanted to feel the rasp of his rough skin against her softness, wanted to touch the rigid shaft that was pressing against her sex.

He traced a heated path to her neck and Riya gasped, finding purchase in his shoulders. When he sucked at the crook of her neck while his hand closed over her breast, she bucked off the floor.

And hit the tiled floor with a thud. The impact vibrated through her and she gasped again, her head reeling with pain.

With a curse, Nathan pulled them both up to their knees, his fingers sinking into her hair. Her chest rising and falling, Riya stared at him, shock holding her still under his concern. She felt winded and yet every inch of her also tingled, throbbed. Deprived.

What had she done? What was happening to her? Another few minutes and she would have let him make love to her right there, on the floor. Begged him to finish what he had started. A shudder racked through her.

His touch gentle, Nathan clasped her jaw. “Riya, look at me.”

Jerking away from his grasp, Riya rose to her feet and straightened her clothes and her hair.

He approached her and she scuttled away again toward the door.

“Stop, Riya.” His brow tied into a fierce scowl. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

She shook her head, incredibly frustrated and scared and wound up. “I needed that thud,” she said jerkily. “Because it’s obvious I’ve lost all sense. You took my company, you want to take the one place that’s ever been home to me, you keep kissing me and I don’t stop you and now you’ve made me bang my head on that hard tile and it hurts like the mother of all...”

Her voice rose on the last few words until she was shouting at him.

“It does seem like you only bring pain to me, so I should be afraid. At least hate you, but why the hell do I not feel either?”

“Don’t know.” He sounded inordinately pleased with her unwise declaration.

She risked a look at him, saw his mobile mouth twitching and burst into laughter herself. “It’s not funny,” she yelled at him, even as more laughter was on the way.

She was doubling over then, both laughing and something else, everything piling up on her.

Before she could breathe again, she was in his arms again with his arms locked tight around her, him whispering, “Shh...Riya... You’re in shock...”

Male heat, hard muscle, smooth skin...irresistible Nathan. But beneath all that, it felt incredibly good to be just held, to laugh with him, to be in this place that was both strangely intimate and thrilling. A thrill she had had too much of for one evening.

Extracting herself from the cocoon of his arms, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve. “Will you please cover yourself?”

Throwing a strange look at her, he pulled on a sweatshirt and she hurried toward the door.

He appeared between her and the door, his gaze concerned. “You hit your head pretty hard. Check and see if there’s a bump.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

This was not okay; this was not good. Only three weeks in his company and she was ready to throw away all the lessons she had learned, ready to forget all the pain relationships caused, the clawing self-doubt they left.

This heat between them, it was nothing but a challenge for him. He could kiss her and shake it off after a few minutes while the very fabric of her life shook. He would tangle with her and walk away unscathed, while she would wonder and spiral into self-pity and anger. Would forever wonder why it was so easy to walk away from her.

“You’re not stepping out until I’m sure you’re okay. If you don’t check properly, I’ll have to do it. And it won’t stop there if I lay a hand on you again.”

When he stepped toward her, she held him off. Fighting the furious heat climbing up her neck and chest, she poked her fingers under her hair. “There’s some swelling.”

His pithy curse echoed around them. Riya suddenly remembered.

He had almost fainted, she was sure now. “I thought you were going to collapse. Yet you weren’t even surprised. What does it mean? Are you okay? Shouldn’t you be the one that should see the doctor?”

Shadows fell over his eyes instantly and Riya knew with a certainty he wasn’t going to tell her the truth. Was he unwell? “I think I just overdid it with the exercise.” He exhaled in a big rush, ran a hand over his jaw. “I’ll be fine. Why did you come here?”

Since they had returned, they danced around each other, avoided even talking to each other without anyone around. And today was a testament to what they had both known.

Apparently even his cold treatment of Sonia wasn’t enough to make her see sense.

“I heard that you were leaving for Abu Dhabi. I won’t let you leave without seeing Robert.”

His hands landed on his lean hips, the bones jutting out at the band of his sweatpants. The hollow planes of his muscles there were the most erotic sight she had ever seen.

“Excuse me?” he said with such exaggerated arrogance that she lifted her gaze to his.

“Yes. To remind you that it’s been almost three weeks and you haven’t seen Robert yet. You said—”

“Heaven help a man who tangles with you.” He shook his head, resignation filling his eyes. “I’ll see him tomorrow, fine? Now shut up and sit down.”

Switching his cell phone, he rattled off orders for a physician and his chauffeur.

“I don’t need to—”

“Doctor or me, Riya?” he challenged.

“Doctor,” she said, sinking into the couch.

Even without looking at him, she was aware of his movements at the periphery of her vision. Heard the Velcro rip of his watch. What had happened to his Rolex? Frowning, she turned and saw him look at the display and note down something in a small notepad.

He wiped his face with a towel and Riya pulled her gaze away.

Not that she had missed the rippling muscles or the small birthmark he had on the inside of his biceps. Or that instead of turning her off, even being sweaty, he muddled her senses and filled her with an unbearable longing. Or that he kissed as if he could never stop. Or that he liked having utter control even as he shredded hers.

Or that she had liked it—the way he couldn’t stop, the way he took control, the way he just made it hard for her to think, the way he knew exactly what would drive her wild with longing. That she had liked how good it felt to give herself over to him, body and mind, that she trusted him as she had never trusted anyone.

All of them were things she shouldn’t know about him. A bunch of things she didn’t want to know about herself.

She felt raw, exposed. All she wanted was to run. Far from him, far from herself.

Handing her a chilled bottle of water, he dropped to the couch, and Riya shot up from the couch. He tugged her down. Riya slinked to the edge, her breath coming in choppy bursts. Panic weaved through her.

“You and me, this can’t happen, Nathan.”

“You can’t control everything in life, Riya. I don’t want this to happen either, but I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t have everything the way you want it.”

She turned to him, desperation raising her tone. “Don’t say that, don’t just...accept this.”

His mouth took on a rueful twist. “What do you want me to do? Wave a wand that’ll make it go away? The only solution I can think of is dragging you inside and giving us both what we so desperately want. Maybe we should get it out of the way, and things will be much clearer then.”

“This is probably your MO. Seduce a woman, say goodbye and walk away. And cut her out if she doesn’t accept your decision. Like you did with Sonia. But I won’t fall for you. You have no heart. You’re the last kind of man that I should kiss, or want, or...”

Fury dawned in his eyes, turning them into blue fire. “Is it helping, then? If my being here is turning you inside out, how about you give me the blasted estate? I’ll leave tonight.”

“No. I can’t.”

“Damn it, Riya. You’re not responsible for Jackie or Robert or anyone else. You were what? Twelve? Thirteen, when my mother died?”

“Robert regrets his mistakes. I know he does. He gave Jackie and me a home when we’d have been on the streets. He always had a kind word for me. He gave me shelter, security, food. He treated me like a daughter when my own father didn’t bother to even ask after me in a decade.”

“Where is your father?”

“How the hell should I know? He never asked about me, never checked how Jackie has been all these years. And this is after he divorced her because she was emotionally volatile. And he let her take me. He let his volatile wife have charge of his eight-year-old daughter.

“For all her weak nature, Jackie at least looked after me in her own way. That’s more than I can say for—”

“She didn’t do you a favor by doing that, Riya. It was her minimum responsibility. And she failed you in that. She exposed you to her fears, to the staff’s hatred at the estate. Don’t you see the effects of that in yourself?”

“My life is perfectly fine, thank you. And my professional one even better, thanks to you. The last few days, working with you, have been amazing. I love your energy, I love the way you do things, Nathan. And if Travelogue can—”

“As of this morning, Travelogue has an investment of ten million dollars from RunAway International. I have ordered my lawyers to put the papers together.”

RunAway International Group. The brilliant boutique of his companies offering flights, vacations, adventure trips through faraway lands... And now Travelogue was a part of that prestigious group.

Her small company...it was at once the most exciting and breathtaking prospect. She had no words left.

“I’ll double the figure you make now and you’ll have stock options in RunAway too. I’ve started the headhunt for a new CEO, and we’ll find one by the time I leave.”

He was going to leave. That was what she had wanted; that was what she needed. That was their deal.

Then why did the prospect sit like a boulder on her chest? What had changed in a mere three weeks?

Concealing her confusion, Riya forced a smile and thanked him just as the physician knocked on the door.

All the way through him checking on her and the limo ride back to the estate, she couldn’t figure out why reaching the goal she had set for herself, why impressing someone of Nathan’s vision, why achieving the financial freedom she had always craved was suddenly not enough.

Whatever his behavior toward Robert, Nathan was unlike any other man she had ever met. All her rules, all her fears and insecurities, nothing stayed up when she was around him. He made her want to know him on a visceral level, made her want to abandon her own rules, made her yearn for a connection that she had denied herself for so long.

Nothing mattered with him. Not the pain of the past, not the fear for her future, only the present. And she couldn’t let this continue. Already she was in too deep, lost at the thought of him leaving.

* * *

Nathan had no idea how long he stood staring at the closed door after Riya left, the silence of his suite pinging on his nerves. Everywhere he looked, he saw her now.