Tufti the Priestess. Live Stroll Through a Movie

Vadim Zeland

Tufti the Priestess. Live Stroll Through A Movie

Cover design by Irina Novikova

© OJSC Ves Publishing Group, 2018

Introduction

Hello, hello, my little freaks!

You don’t remember me, but I am Tufti and I’ve come to you from Time. Time is eternal. From Eternity you can go wherever you like, whenever you like.

Three thousand years ago, I was a priestess of the Temple of Isis. Who I am now, I will divulge some time later. The important thing is that I know who you are. And I’ll tell you about that in due course, for you already know who you are, right?

You have been brought into the world deprived of a ‘Selfinstruction manual’. Of course, they taught you to wash your hands, change your nappies… But you don’t know any more than that, either about yourself or the world.

For example, you think, you have your own opinion, whereas, in fact, that opinion was implanted in you. You think that you are in control of your actions, whereas, in fact, it is much more important to control your thoughts. Can you? No, you’re just little, brainless idiots. It makes me want to slap you.

I know, you’re lonely, unhappy, and think nobody loves you. But I love you. And I’ll tell you.

I’ll tell you how the world works and what is really happening. I’ll tell you, why you’re here and what to do with your life because you don’t know, what to do with your life, do you? You see! Get comfortable on your potties and listen.

Let’s start with the fact that reality is not quite as you imagine it to be. Reality is multi-layered like an onion. You are familiar with two layers only: the physical reality in which you live, and the dream space that you see when you fall asleep every night.

The dream space is not a figment of your imagination; it is real and takes the form of something like a film archive, in which everything is stored that ever was, will be or ever could be.

When you dream, you are watching one of the films from the archive. In this sense, your dream is real and an illusion at the same time. The film you are watching is virtual, while the film roll itself is material.

Reality is what has never been and never will be, and only is here and now. Reality exists only for a single moment, like a frame on a film roll, which moves from the past into the future.

Your life, or rather your essence – your soul – also moves from one incarnation into another. There was a time when you were all fish, dinosaurs and all kinds of crawling reptiles. Don’t kid yourself that you’ve moved on much since then. There is still a long way to crawl before reaching perfection, such as I, for example.

You don’t remember your previous incarnations because every incarnation is a separate life of your soul, a separate dream if you like.

The soul is not dependent on the presence of the body. This is just one of the forms in which it can exist. The body is just a kind of bio-suit.

You may ask, what’s the point of all these transformations?

Such are the fundamental qualities of reality and life: movement and transformation. A frame moves along a film roll; a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly; the butterfly lays its larvae; the larvae transform into caterpillars, and those, in turn, become butterflies.

At your current stage of evolution, you are caterpillars – small and unpleasant. That’s just how you are. I’m going to keep an eye on you.

So, listen. Sleeping and waking life are roughly the same thing. In the early years, you did not distinguish your dreams from reality. You don’t remember it now, but back then, you did not think there was a boundary or any difference between this world and that. Then the grown-ups explained to you that the world of dreams is just a product of your imagination, that it isn’t real.

In fact, you were fed a false belief. That world is just as real as this. It exists, just in another space. You move from one space to another when you wake up and when you fall asleep. Does that surprise you? Does it scare you?

You got used to the idea, but, still, dreaming and the waking life that follows the dream are like life and death. Life is the dream, death is the waking experience, but not the other way around, you see?

Ok, my dears, let’s not run before we can walk; one step at a time. There are three similarities and one difference between dreams and waking. I’ll come to the difference a little later. The similarities are these:

First. Both in waking and in dreaming, you are asleep. And because of this, you are helpless in both. This and the other reality exist independently of your will, but I will teach you to wake up, both in dreaming and in waking life.

Second. In both spaces, reality moves like a frame in a film roll. Yet you don’t understand that because you only know how to see what is right underfoot. You lost the ability to look ahead when you started to believe what the grown-ups said about dreams not being real.

Third. Here and there, the moving frame can be controlled. The reason you lot don’t control the movement is that your attention is stuck in the current frame. You’ll find out what this means in a bit, although finding out doesn’t necessarily mean understanding it. When you do understand it, however, you will be able to shift reality.

Two screens

And so, my dears, we have arrived at three premises.

• Both in dreaming and in waking life, you are asleep.

• Dreams and everyday reality are a moving frame.

• The frame’s movement can be controlled, but you don’t know how to.

You don’t control the movement in your silly dreams and your sorry, little life, firstly, because you are asleep, and secondly, because you don’t even realise it is possible.

Let’s begin with something simple: what is sleep? Remember I said that when you were brought into the world, you weren’t given a Self-instruction manual? Ok, so you have two screens: an inner and an outer screen. You also have the faculty of attention. This is always directed either towards the inside or the outside – very rarely in-between. So, you are constantly asleep.

When you are lost in thought, your attention is totally immersed in the inner screen. When this is the case, you may not notice what is happening around you and be acting on autopilot. Conversely, when your attention is occupied by something external, you forget yourself and, again, act reflexively.

This is what sleep is, a reflexive state, in which your attention is immersed either in the outer or the inner screen. In this kind of state, you are helpless, unable to control either yourself or what is happening to you.

In this sense, sleeping and dreaming are not the same. Sleep is an anabiotic state. A dream is something you see, either in the dream space or in the waking space.

Dreams and everyday reality are essentially the same. Reality is your waking dream. Reality is a dream and a dream is also reality. Why? You will understand very soon.

Now for the instructions: To wake up in a dream or waking reality, you must pull your attention away from the inner and outer screen and shift it to your awareness centre.

You are quite capable of doing this. It’s easy. Tap your fingers around the area of your nose. Where were you just now? Were you flying in your dreams or were you admiring me wide-eyed, fabulous as I am? What was your attention immersed in, which screen? Where is it now?

Find a midpoint between the two screens. From this point, you will be able to observe your thoughts and what is going on around you. You will be able to see the reality that surrounds you and yourself within this reality. Nothing is stopping you from watching both screens at the same time. You can do this.

It’s just that nobody has ever told you it was possible, and it has never occurred to you that it might be a good idea. Grown-ups have told you to ‘look here,’ ‘listen to me’ and ‘do as I tell you’. You were taught to focus your attention on the outer screen.

When something does not work out, you fall into despair and sit alone with your unhappy thoughts about how small, helpless and unfortunate you are. You have chained yourselves to the inner screen as the only available refuge.

Gradually, your attention got used to sticking to one screen or the other without resting in the middle. Eventually, you stopped controlling your attention entirely, so it does not obey you; it floats about of its own accord and you are constantly falling into a non-conscious state.

In this state, you are incapable of taking effective action. You may be deceived, hurt, frightened, robbed, even beaten, and still, you cannot respond adequately. You are constantly struggling with emotional complexes; you depend on external circumstances and chase after good luck.

You know who chases after good luck? Losers. That’s what you are – losers – because the level of your effectiveness in a non-conscious state is no more than 5-10%.

It’s ok, don’t cry, my little ones, everything can be put right, and I’ll tell you how.

A stroll through a dream

In the last lesson, my dear ones, you learned that…

• Sleep is a condition in which your attention is immersed in a screen.

• You can sleep or not sleep in a dream as in waking reality.

• To wake up, you must bring your attention to the awareness centre.

Your awareness centre is an observation point, from which you can see where your attention is directed in any one moment and what it is focusing on. At the same time, you see what you are doing and what is going on around you.

Now, wake up and ask yourself: Where am I? What am I doing? Where is my attention? Right now, you have just woken up and found yourself at the awareness point. Here I am, and this is the reality that surrounds me. I am aware. I can see myself and I can see reality.

This is an unfamiliar state for you, my precious ones. You only get occasional glimpses of it. The rest of the time, you are transfixed by either the inner or the outer screen. Now, try and hold the state of awareness for at least for an hour and see what happens. You’ll find it will be interesting.

It is best to do this in the morning after you have slept well and are feeling bright and happy. It is not worth trying it when you are in a bad mood: it won’t work.

So, get into the observation point telling yourself: I see myself and I see reality. Set yourself the intention, ‘today I am going to stroll through a waking dream’. Then go for a walk, wherever you like, to work or to university, in this state of clarity.

For the best effect, go to a place where nobody knows you, on a walk to a shopping centre or an entertainment centre. This will be a free walk through a dream.

When you are immersed in either one of the screens, you are not yourself. You aren’t in control either of yourself or the situation. The opposite is true in fact: any situation can turn into a dream and control you.

And what happens when you become self-aware? You free yourself, and from this moment on, your dreaming, whether asleep or in waking, it doesn’t matter which, becomes conscious. You are in control of yourself, and most importantly, you acquire the capacity to control the situation around you, but more on that later. For now, try just going for a walk and observing what you see.

For example, you turn on your awareness and go into a shop. Say hello, walk about, look around, maybe ask a question and observe the reaction of the shop assistants. Just don’t fall asleep. Before you speak, be sure to direct your attention to the centre: I see myself and I see reality.

You’ll find that people will look at you with a certain curiosity and for some reason be especially responsive and well-disposed towards you, in a way they were not before. What has changed?

Unlike you, the people around you are still asleep. Their attention is occupied, and they are involved in their everyday scenarios, like in a film. Their thoughts are unclear and their actions non-conscious. You could say, they live as if they were characters in a film.

You, unlike the others around you, have woken up in the dream as if you had stepped from the screen down into the cinema hall. At any moment, you can leave, return to the movie, and walk around freely among the other characters, regardless of the narrative.

When you are in this state, you may come across to others as a little otherworldly. They vaguely sense that there is something odd about you, but cannot say what exactly. Don’t worry, they’re not aware that they are treating you with a certain friendliness and curiosity. And you don’t let on that you know something they don’t.

Do you know where their friendliness towards you comes from, especially in those who don’t know you? To them, you are like a firefly in a land of shadows. When you are in a state of conscious awareness, your energy flows differently. It can’t be seen physically, but it can be felt subconsciously.

Just by walking through a waking dream, at the very least you will attract the attention and good-will of those around you. You can make new friends and spend the time in pleasant conversation. But that is just the start. Be smart. Learn to drive reality. If you don’t drive yourselves mad first! Hey! Ok, ok, don’t worry, my little ones.

First entry into reality

Well, my dears, if you have already walked through a waking dream, you should now be clear that the comparison of reality to a motion picture is no simple allegory. You really were there, as a living character, while the other participants continued to move around as if they were sleeping and following some kind of external script.

The comparison may not seem wholly fitting, after all, we all understand that people sleep in bed at night, and during the day operate more or less consciously.

However, you saw for yourself how negligible this proportion of “more or less” is when you noticed your own attention constantly falling into either the internal or the external screen. You undoubtedly saw this and now know how it happens.

From now on, whenever you go for a walk in the dream, you will catch yourself continually falling back into the screen and drifting off to sleep again. Something distracted you, caught your attention, or you started thinking about something and… and that’s it! You cease to exist as an aware human being; you can’t even call your soul your own.

So who owns it? Who are you taking orders from?

You are being directed by an external script, woven into a motion picture, in which you are now one of the characters.

I shall gradually explain what all this means, all in good time. For now, you must be clear about one simple thing. Both in sleeping and in waking, you are in a film being carried along in the flow of the script. You can’t call your soul your own because your attention is not your own.

The moment you wake up and take control of your attention, the script will lose its hold on you. Of course, you have to go to work and attend classes as usual and fulfil your day to day obligations, but not as strictly as when you are directed by the script.

Unlike the other characters around you who are sleeping, you see yourself, you see reality and you can consciously control your will, which you haven’t been doing before now. This is your first step into a new level of self-mastery and mastering of your reality. You have woken up from ordinary sleep many times, but you have not yet tried reaching a higher level, right?

In an ordinary dream, you are helpless, even if you are aware that you are dreaming. You are inside a film and completely gripped by the story because your attention is immersed in the screen. But unlike the other characters, you are capable of dragging your attention up another level, i.e. waking up in the dream and even going two levels higher, and waking up in reality.

The characters in a dream can’t do this. How are they different to waking people? They have no self-awareness; they have no sense of personal identity; they have no personal will; they are not free to act as they see fit; they are subject to the script. They have no soul. They are simply templates – mannequins.

When you learn to wake up in the dream, try the following experiment. Ask a dream mannequin this question: “Who are you?” They will try and avoid the question or will tell you what their role in the script is. But they won’t say, “I am myself”. They don’t have their own ‘Self’.

In the same way, you could ask the mannequin, “Do you know that I am sleeping now and am seeing you in a dream?” This question will throw them, too, because they have never fallen asleep and never woken up. The dream mannequin lives in a film just like a fictional character, once shot on a film roll.

The only difference is that a normal film is shot by normal people, whereas the film rolls of dreams are stored in the Eternity archive. They have always been there and always will be, for as long as this Universe exists.

Living people have a soul, will, and self-perception. They can say, “I am myself”, although that is all they can say about themselves. Living people are aware of themselves, but their self-awareness, as you have seen for yourself, sleeps, and their will is used rarely, when they need to mobilise themselves to take some kind of action.

And what’s more, the will is used only within the context of the current frame, but we’ll talk about this a little later. I have already done you a great honour, spending so much time with you, my little fit-for-nothings. Make the most of this moment, admire me, praise me, flatter me – I am Tufti, your High Priestess!

Tracking your attention

And so, my dear ones, let’s repeat what we’ve covered so far.

• In your usual state of consciousness, you are characters in a film.

• If your attention is not your own, your soul is not your own.

• You are directed by an external script, which wires you into the film.

I use these terms so that it will be more accessible for you, because in sleeping and waking life, you do pretty much the same thing: you watch the film and take part in it as a character with a set role, without the right to spontaneous behaviour.

If you still doubt that your actions are bound rather than autonomous, look at your attention – where was it just now? To whom did it belong? Not to you, do you see? Then to whom and for what?

To the very same script. You, or rather, your Self is your attention. If you do not control yourself, the script directs you, whether when you are sleeping, or in waking life; it’s the same either way. A dream is the same as reality and reality is the same as a dream. Let’s say that life is a waking dream, and an ordinary dream is a sleeping dream.

A dream can be conscious or non-conscious. In the unconscious dream, you are as stupid and helpless as little bunnies. But take control of your attention, and you come alive in the film, acquiring the ability to act wilfully, as you see fit.

You become a responsible, sane character who can freely roam around in the dream. You have already tried it in waking life. With time, you will learn to do the same in your sleep.

However, it is much more important to have this ability in waking life because even though the film of sleep has a real film roll in the Eternity archive, it is still virtual. Life, on the other hand, is real. In life, you either helplessly kick your legs about in someone else’s script or you implement your own.

The only thing stopping you from doing this is your habit of falling into the inner and outer screen. Your attention won’t stay long in the centre of awareness. This is quite normal for you. But what can you do, ugly fit-for-nothings that you are. You need to develop the new habit of returning your attention to the centre.

Setting out for a stroll through the dream, tell yourself that you won’t forget that you must wake up. Literally set yourself this goal, otherwise it will completely slip your mind that you are meant to be focusing on something. If you are lazy and forgetful, you won’t learn anything.

Whilst on your walk, you will need to catch yourself as you constantly fall and drift off. Don’t worry, don’t give up, just bring your attention back, over and over again. Arrange to track your attention with your attention itself – that is, yourself.

There is no need to try and hold your attention at the centre all the time without taking a break. The meaning and value of this exercise lie in something else: your ability to respond to what is happening. Usually, any event, even the most inconsequential, draws you into the outer film or into your inner concerns. Whatever the situation, it lulls you into sleep.

Now you need to develop the reverse habit – not to fall asleep but to wake up. Any event, even the slightest whiff of your environment should put you on your guard. Take it as a signal to awaken. Likewise, any action you take should remind you that you need to check your focus of attention.

You have two triggers for this.

Outer – as soon as something happens, you wake up.

And inner – before you do something, you wake up.

Examples of external triggers: you met with someone, someone asked you something, something happened close to you, it doesn’t matter what, some kind of sound, any kind of movement, anything that previously attracted and engaged you. As soon as something happens, focus your attention on it, but don’t lose control of your attention – keep it at the centre.

Examples of internal triggers: you’re getting ready to go somewhere, to do something, to talk to someone. Before you take any action at all, bring your attention to the centre. Specifically before, because afterwards it will be too late; you will simply discover that you fell asleep, then woke up to remember that you were sleeping.

All this can only be learned through frequent repetition like in the martial arts. There is no other way. On the other hand, when you learn to control the focus of your attention, you will be able to control your piffling life. And then, perhaps, your life will stop being so piffling.

For now, I give you a warning. You have woken up in a dream, acquired strength and awareness, while those around you continue to sleep. Do not think this advantage makes you superior. Don’t treat others with arrogance or condescension. This prerogative belongs solely to me because I am Tufti, your priestess, and you are my subjects who must listen to me – and admire me unstintingly. Do you? Look at me!

Composing reality

So, my dear pretties, you now have a greater understanding and have learned something. See, I praise you too! In our last lesson, we studied how to track attention.

• Set yourself the goal of remembering to track your attention.

• As soon as something happens, you wake up.

• Before doing anything, you wake up again.

If you do this, you will develop the habit of controlling your attention, and eventually, your life. But this does not give you the right to look down on those who are asleep. Observe them quietly without giving away that you know something they don’t. Pretend that you are also asleep. This goes for all walks, both in waking and in sleeping.

Remember: before entering the dream, you should be well-disposed towards others, otherwise you will be punished. A superior, arrogant, disdainful, insolent, pompous, stuck up, finicky, smart Alec know-all will get a clip round the ear. Not from me but from reality. Don’t expect such an honoured privilege from me.

Now listen. At our first meeting I said this phrase: Reality is what has never been and never will be, and only is in the here and now. Reality exists only for a single moment like a frame on a film roll, which moves from the past into the future. What are we meant to understand by this?

This means that in any moment, only the immediate impression of reality – the illuminated frame – is ever real. Everything else is virtual, the past as well as the future. And it is all stored forever in a film archive, where everything is recorded, everything that has been, that will be, and ever may be.