Baby Makes Six

“I see.” Rolling her eyes, Melanie went to his sofa and sat down, then picked up his Sports and Leisure and started flipping through it.

“I’m not the one who’s late, Mel.”

“I hear you.”

Still staring out the window, Eddie said, “One time Shawn showed up an hour late for an awards dinner downtown.”

Melanie coughed. “You know she had a good reason for that. She was caught in traffic. An interstate was shut down.”

“Funny how no one else’s wife was late.”

“And I’m sure Jayne never would have done such a thing.”

Why was it that every time someone in his family mentioned Jayne it was with a note of derision in their voice? “Jayne definitely wouldn’t have been late,” he said, standing up not only for his girlfriend—was she his girlfriend?—but for himself. After all, he was damn happy a woman like that was interested in him. “How come you don’t like her?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t.”

“I don’t get the idea that you do. And you should. She’s pretty much perfect.”

“You want perfect?” Never afraid to put him in his place, Melanie made gagging noises. “Wanting perfection in a partner is a little scary, don’t you think?”

“Stop twisting my words around. No, Melanie, I don’t want perfection. I just appreciate the fact that she’s never left me standing next to a window while listening for my cell phone to go off.”

“No, I don’t imagine she has.” With robotic precision, his sister turned the page in the magazine, scanned it quickly, then flipped again. “I doubt she’s ever done anything in her very short life that’s impulsive.”

“Very short life? You’re only a year older than her.”

“I’ve been through a whole lot more than she has, Ed.”

Eddie knew that was most likely true. She’d gotten mugged almost eight months before and was still too skittish to do much besides work and hang out with family. She was still too skittish to ever do more than smile at John, though everyone in the family knew he was half in love with her…and that she wasn’t immune to him, either. “Sorry, Mel. I wasn’t thinking.”

She ignored him. “Actually I think you think you’re perfect. Which, I’d like to remind you, you’re not.”

“Jeez, Melanie. I never said I was. Why are you picking a fight? We’re not in middle school.” In seventh grade he and Mel had fought tooth and nail over everything.

“I’m not picking a fight. You’re the one who brought up Perfect Jayne. Why do you think she’s perfect, anyway? Because she has long, flowing, golden hair?” Melanie smirked at her joke.

He turned back toward the window. “She’s a kindergarten teacher. She’s been living on her own since she was twenty-one. She volunteers in the community.”

“Not to mention she’s drop-dead gorgeous.”

“She is,” he agreed. Jayne was beautiful in that wholesome, girl-next-door, cover-model way. And what was wrong with that, anyway? The girl couldn’t help being gorgeous. “That doesn’t even matter. Shawn was pretty, too.”

“Was? What happened, Eddie? She got old and her body changed after giving you three precious girls? You got bored and needed a trophy wife?”

“Sergeant Wagner, the guy who is so insecure he needs a trophy wife to make him look good,” he said sarcastically. “Come on. You know that’s never been me.”

“I’ll grant you that.”

“And nothing happened to Shawn’s looks, Melanie. I’ve always thought she was pretty. But looks were never our problem.”

Unexpectedly a moment from four months ago flashed into his mind. A moment when the last thing either of them were thinking about was kids or clocks.

No, all he’d been thinking was that he missed kissing her. He missed how she melted into his arms the moment they hugged. Always. The guys at the station used to tease him about how Shawn always flattened her hips against his when they’d embraced—even if the hug only lasted thirty seconds.

But one night, the hug was all it took for his body to respond the way it always had.

Clearing his throat, Eddie brought himself back to reality. “All I’m saying is that I didn’t think you acted very warm or nice to Jayne when I invited her to the barbecue.”

“I didn’t know what to say. I’m pretty new to you dating. Plus, it was a little uncomfortable. She was here, acting like y’all were on some kind of date.”

“We were.”

“Well, I like you acting like a dad with the girls, at least at things like family barbecues.”

“You liked me fine before I had children.”

“I did. But when you were with Jayne, you seemed…weird.”

Weird? “How?”

“I don’t know. You acted all fake. And you waited on her.”

“Her name’s Jayne.”

“Whatever. You were waiting on her and I’ve never seen you wait on anyone in your life.”

He had. He’d waited on Shawn when she was pregnant. Just remembering how warm and sweet she’d looked when he brought her coffee in bed made him swallow hard.

Then he recalled how devastated she’d looked after the miscarriage. Then nothing could make her smile. He’d been so hurt, too. Had he tried hard enough to lift her spirits?

The memory was too painful. It was far easier to dwell on the evening Melanie was talking about. “I couldn’t have the girls because it was Shawn’s weekend.”

Melanie grunted, not very ladylike, either. “Convenient.”

“You’re going to have to get used to me being divorced, Mel. Bad things happen.”

“I know. But maybe you aren’t better off without Shawn, Ed.”

“I am.”

“Okay, I’ll rephrase. Maybe you aren’t better off with Jayne. I think you’ve jumped right into something without thinking.”

“If I did, that would be a good thing. Shawn always said I planned too much.”

Melanie pushed the magazine to one side and finally looked at him. Really looked at him. “I guess you’re right,” she said softly. “I miss Shawn so much, sometimes I forget how unhappy you both were before you separated. We’re all entitled to move on and change. Next time you bring Jayne around, I’ll put out more of an effort. I promise.”

“Thanks.” He paused. “Maybe one time John can join us and the four of us could go out.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Ever? It’s time for you to move on, too, you know. The guy’s crazy about you.”

After a pause she finally nodded. “Maybe one day soon. Not yet. But maybe soon.”

The familiar sound of his cell phone ring brought them both up short. “Wagner.”

“Eddie, omigosh, the worst thing happened,” Shawn said in a single breath. “I’m so sorry I haven’t called.”

“Shawn,” he mouthed to Melanie before gripping the window frame in relief. “Are you okay? Are the girls hurt?”

“The girls are fine. We’re all fine.”

Closing his eyes, Eddie began a silent prayer, asking forgiveness. Of course a part of him had hoped she’d have a good reason for not being there. Then, almost immediately, his frustration let loose. “What happened?”

“I, um, locked my purse in the house, which is where my cell phone and keys are.”

“What about the extra set?” After the fourth time she’d been locked out, he’d made copies of the keys and created a hiding spot for them in the backyard.

“I never put them back. Not after the last time I used them. I had to go next door to see Delores and ask if I could use her phone to call the locksmith. And you know how ornery she is—I didn’t dare ask to call you.”

“She would have said no,” he replied, smiling in spite of his irritation. “Long distance.”

“You got it. So the girls and I just sat outside and waited for the guy to come.”

“But he didn’t?”

“Oh, he came. The minute after I paid him, we were on our way, but by then the roads were crazy. Listen, the traffic is horrible, so horrible that I haven’t felt like I could do anything but drive with two hands on the wheel. But we’re almost at your place. Ten minutes at the most.”

“Okay. See you then.”

“Listen, did you already eat? I could run the girls to a drive-through?”

“We haven’t eaten. We’ll wait.”

“Okay. Thanks, Eddie.”

She clicked off before he could say another word.

“She’s okay?”

“Yeah.” Eddie couldn’t believe it, but he actually felt like smiling. “Locked her purse in the house, but she’ll be here in ten minutes.”

Melanie stood up again. “Sooner than that! There they are!”

Following Melanie out of the house, Eddie found himself chuckling. That had been maybe one minute, tops.

Shawn had never met a schedule she could keep.

SHE’D DONE IT. She’d deposited the girls at Eddie’s.

As Shawn drove along the highway once again, she tried not to think about how empty she felt.

She hated it when the girls stayed overnight at Eddie’s. This weekend was going to be even worse. Eddie was going to have them until Sunday. She had two whole evenings to get through.

Opening the sun roof in her van, she caught the pungent smell of sea air and tried not to think about how desperately lonely she felt, driving away from Bishop’s Gate and back to Destin.

But as the mile markers flashed by on the highway and resort communities gave way to office parks, Shawn’s emotions ran wild as hunger pangs and hormones warred with each other.

Obviously she needed to eat or she was going to be in tears before she drove another three miles.

Though she’d planned to heat up a frozen dinner at home, that didn’t appeal to her. Neither did seeing the disapproving stare of Delores. Making an executive decision, she pulled off at Rocky Ridge Shopping Plaza.

This was something she used to imagine doing right before she and Eddie had separated. She used to crave just a few moments alone. Okay, a few hours. Now she had two days of it and it didn’t feel so alluring.

After parking, she went into Drew’s Diner, a knockoff fifties restaurant that served thick shakes and really good fries.

“How many?” a perky teen in a pink poodle skirt asked.

“Just one.”

“This way.”

Shawn slid into the booth, ordered their Blue Plate Special and a thick strawberry shake, and leaned back.

Moments later, as she was enjoying that shake just a little too much, she noticed a man in the booth across from her also sitting alone.

And he was watching her drink the shake in amusement. “Guess you needed that, huh?”

She met his gaze and chuckled. “Some girls need vodka martinis. I need ice cream.”

He lifted his glass. “Mine was chocolate.” Just after the server placed a plate of roast chicken, mashed potatoes and a side of green beans in front of her, he spoke again. “You dining alone?”

“Yes.”

“I am, too. Any chance you want some company?”

Shawn was stunned. Was she getting hit on? “Thanks, but no.”

“Sure? I’m told my table manners are good.”

He was kind of attractive—if you were into that vintage Robert Redford kind of look. “Thanks, but no.”

The server brought his meal—burger and fries. When their eyes met again, he looked a little abashed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t see a ring and, well, it is Friday night and you’re alone. Are you taken?”

She nodded. “Very much so. I have four kids.”

His eyes widened. “Gotcha.”

Shawn spent the rest of the meal trying not to look at him. Trying not to wonder why she didn’t feel the slightest bit of attraction to a guy who was handsome and obviously found her attractive.

And dared to wonder why saying she was the mother of four for the very first time…hadn’t sounded painful, after all.

Chapter Five

Shawn had four pairs of slacks that she rotated for work. All of them were khaki, wrinkle-free and from the same department store. All were machine washable.

Not a one of them fit.

Glaring at the waistband of the pair she was currently trying to squeeze into, she silently willed it to become elastic. That was the only way she was going to be able to close the two-inch gap. It really wasn’t fair how her body had decided to embrace this pregnancy. Just a few weeks after she’d conceived, her bra felt tight. Now, just four and a half months in, her waist was gone and the “baby bump” was a veritable mountain.

She was going to have to face it. Maternity clothes were weeks away, not months. And they were all going to have to be bought. She’d handed all her maternity clothes to Eddie to discard just days after the miscarriage, stifling any attempt he’d made to suggest keeping the clothes just in case they wanted to try again one day.

After she’d told him flat out that she’d never want to have another baby, he’d taken the sack away without another word.

Only now did she recall the look of hurt that had flashed in his eyes.

“Mommy, we’re done with breakfast!” Kit called from the kitchen.

If Shawn took two steps back on the tile floor and contorted her body to an almost perfect right angle, she could spy the girls into the breakfast nook in the kitchen through her mirror.

Of course, that position caused the gap in her pants to widen. Shoot. “I’ll be right there. Then we’ll run to Mrs. Henderson’s in a flash.”

“In a flash?” Mary asked.

Kit clapped her hands and started giggling. Mary and Elsie followed suit.

Shawn grinned at their antics but willed herself to focus on what was really important: the fact that they should already be in the van but she was standing half-naked in her bathroom.

Oh! What to wear? What to wear? Down went the pants. Off went the shirt she’d never managed to button.

Grabbing a lime-green knit sundress from the back, she pulled it over her head, slipped on a white cardigan, grabbed a pair of flats and turned off the lights.

In a race against inevitability, she trotted into the kitchen and helped Elsie out of her booster seat. “Come on, girls. Bowls in sink, then we’ve gotta go.”

Mary did the two-step. “I gotta go pee!”

“Hurry in the bathroom,” Shawn called as she propped Elsie on her hip and grabbed her purse. “Let’s go, girls! We’ve gotta fly like the wind or Mommy’s going to be late for work.”

“And for Mrs. Henderson,” Kit reminded her.

“Oh, yes. We most certainly don’t want that.”

Five minutes later the four of them were buckled in the van and on their way. The girls gripped their little back-packs in their laps and sang along with the latest Disney soundtrack Shawn had popped into the CD player.

After checking in at Carnegie and completing some necessary paperwork, she clocked out in preparation for the hour she’d been dreading and hopped back in the van.

Before she knew it, she was walking in the doctor’s office at 10:00 a.m. sharp. Oh, she’d been in no hurry to see this place again. All it did was remind her that her days with toddlers were most certainly not coming to an end.

And worse—now she was alone.

Already seated in the pink-and-cream waiting room were several pregnant women, each looking younger than the next. Stacks of parenting magazines, the covers emblazoned with peppy headlines and positive-looking glowing mothers, lay on antique-white coffee tables.

Shawn had stopped reading those magazines years ago. Those “fun family adventures” had seemed ridiculous when all three girls had contracted strep throat at the same time.

Suddenly she felt very frumpy and old in her lime dress.

All too soon, Nancy called her in. “I didn’t expect to see you back here so soon, Mrs. Wagner,” the nurse said as she led the way to the scale. “Weren’t you just in here a few months ago for your yearly checkup?”

Shawn stepped on the scale and resolved not to notice just how much she’d already gained. “Yes, but unfortunately something happened.”

Nancy, who’d been writing down her weight, paused. “Is everything okay?”

“Technically, yes. Emotionally, no.” Nancy had worked in Dr. Axman’s office during all of Shawn’s pregnancies. There was no sense in trying to be discreet. “I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant.”

“I see.” A mixture of emotions flashed through the redhead’s eyes as she put two and two together. Yes, Shawn was divorced. Yes, Dr. Axman had renewed her prescription for birth control pills when Shawn had come in for her annual just six months ago.

But ever the professional, Nancy made a few more notes without saying a word, then handed Shawn a cup. “You know the drill. When you come out of the bathroom, we’ll go ahead and get your blood work taken care of.”

Shawn barely cracked a smile as she took the cup and headed to the open door on the left. “I’ll be right out.”

But a few minutes later, when she was sitting on the table, holding her elbow to her side so the Band-Aid wouldn’t pull the skin like it always did, Shawn felt tears prick her eyes. What a difference seven years made!

Vividly she recalled how excited she’d been during her first pregnancy. The seemingly endless supply of questions she had for everyone there. How happy Eddie had been.

He’d somehow managed to come to every single one of her appointments—usually in uniform. He’d been there so often all the girls in the office used to whistle good-naturedly at him. Eddie Wagner could have been Mr. December in one of those beefcake policemen calendars.

Now she was alone.

Two quick raps announced the doctor’s arrival.

“Shawn, I understand we might be seeing a lot of each other again.”

“I can’t stay away.”

Chuckling, Dr. Axman set down her file and looked at Shawn more closely. “As you probably guessed, our tests were positive, too. You’re pregnant.”

She couldn’t help the tremor that coursed through her at the words. “I hope this time…” Her voice drifted off. She was too afraid to voice her fears.

But once again Dr. Axman seemed to read her mind. “We’re going to make sure you and this baby are just fine, Shawn.”

Dr. Axman was fiftyish and looked like the famous Mary Kay of Mary Kay cosmetics—blonde, perfectly coifed and well put together. She also had the best bedside manner—motherly, humorous and matter-of-fact.

Whether it was that attitude or the fact that she was finally sharing her secret, Shawn burst into tears. “I didn’t want to have any more kids. Not after last time.”

“It was God’s way of telling us that baby wasn’t ready for us. Remember? It was no one’s fault. This time, you’re going to be fine.”

“I know. I just…I just thought I was finally getting my act together. And all these girls—they’re going to drive me crazy when they’re teenagers.”

“Maybe things won’t be as bad as you think.”

“With four kids? I’m going to lose my mind.”

Obviously trying hard not to smile, the obstetrician reached out to pat her hand. “This wasn’t expected, I guess?”

“No. What am I going to do?” Before the doctor could say a word, Shawn shook her head. “I mean, I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to have four kids. I’m not even married anymore! I sure didn’t plan on it. I didn’t plan on any of it.”

Opening her file, Dr. Axman murmured, “So how long were you on the pills before you stopped taking them?”

“I never filled the prescription.”

“Ah.”

“And just in case you’re curious, the father’s Eddie. We had, oh, I don’t know…a relapse. One time.” Actually they’d managed to do things more than once, but not even her doctor needed to know that.

“I see.”

Shawn gave her the date. “That’s the night I got pregnant.”

Pulling out the circular calendar, Dr. Axman said, “We’re at a little more than four months, just about four and a half. Looks like we’re going to almost have a Labor Day baby. Let’s say September 8.”

“September. Well, that’s a free month. No birthdays there.”

Oh, she couldn’t even believe she was talking like this.

After a quick examination, Shawn received another prescription, this one for vitamins. “Now don’t forget to take these pills.”

“I won’t.”

“Is Eddie planning on being involved with the pregnancy?”

“Not so much.” She was pretty sure he’d be ecstatic about the baby, but she didn’t see a need to visit the doctor with her.

“Ah.”

“We’re divorced, you know. And he’s moved on. He’s got a girlfriend.”

“I see.” Dr. Axman was a master at keeping her expression neutral.

Shawn didn’t know why she felt like defending Eddie, but she didn’t want the doctor to think the worst of him. “Jayne seems real nice. She’s a kindergarten teacher.”

“Are you dating?”

“No! I’m…you know…”

“Pregnant.”

“I’m so pregnant.” Shawn bit her lip. Great, Shawn. It’s not enough you’re sitting here half-naked, you’re about to start crying again.

Picking up her file, Dr. Axman looked at Shawn with concern. “I guess that’s it for now. Take care of yourself, would you please?”

“I’ll try.”

Pausing again, the doctor looked at Shawn’s chart. “I’ll see you next month. Unless you have a problem of course. Then, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thank you.”

Over the next month or two, Shawn knew she was going to be showing something awful. And within the next few weeks—not months—she was going to have to break the news to Eddie. That while he’d moved on, she was carrying around a little something from their past.

“IT’S FRIDAY, Eddie. Want to come out with us tonight?” Sal asked as they turned in their time cards and exited the police station. “We’re heading over to The Precinct for a couple of beers.”

The Precinct was a cop bar located about two blocks from the station. Made of cement blocks and definitely sparse in the decor area, it served as a haven for police officers in the area. When he was still married, he’d stopped over there at least once a month, needing a moment to take the edge off the day before heading home and facing a night of fighting with Shawn.

Luckily the bar didn’t hold the appeal that it used to. “No thanks, I’ve got plans.”

Sal looked him over. “You’re not working a double shift again, are you?”

“Not tonight. I’ve got three little girls to take out.”

Sal grinned. “Now that’s what I like to hear. I’m glad you’ve got your priorities back. Where are you taking your best girls?”

“Probably just back to my place. They like hanging out with me. We’ll probably just eat pizza and play Candy Land or something.”

“You being with them is what counts, don’t you think? My grandson likes pick-up sticks. We could play that all night.”

“I’ll have to pick up some of them. I liked those, too.” Thinking some more about his upcoming evening, he said, “You know, it’s kind of weird. Back when I was home with them, Shawn and I used to always check to see that the other person wasn’t slacking when all three girls needed help. Now I wish I was around them all the time—and I don’t need any help with them, either.”

“That’s love.”

“That’s it, exactly.” There was nothing like the stale smell of an empty apartment to make a man long for things to be a little messed up and noisy. Until he’d had kids, he’d had no idea just how powerful love really was.

“What does Shawn do when you’ve got the girls?”

“I don’t know. She usually works or something.” But as he spoke, Eddie was uncomfortably aware that that was exactly what she did. If she had any need to date other men, he hadn’t heard about it.

Glancing at his watch, Eddie picked up his pace. “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late. Shawn’s working, so I’ve got to pick the girls up from the sitter.”

“Hey, isn’t it nice to know that you’re their father, not the babysitter? Some guys don’t spend any time with their kids unless they have to.”

“It’s great,” Eddie said in parting, quickly unlocking his car and climbing in.

Sal was right. Eddie had always considered himself a good dad, but he knew he hadn’t always shouldered the responsibilities equally with Shawn.

More often than was comfortable to admit, he had taken on the role of provider and fun parent, leaving Shawn to deal with the majority of the grunt work.