Alive

Alive

Gubat Abdullaev

© Gubat Abdullaev, 2019

ISBN 978-5-4496-4787-0

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Fate

Always believed in fateShe knew that it could not be otherwiseEvil will not lead to good,And it is unlikely to bring good luck.I always believed in dreamsAnd the ghost let me down,Therefore, once you appeared,On this day, I spent the fall.I always believed in myselfIn my mind, capabilities and powers,It turned out I was going nowhere..Absolutely obvious,

Embrace

Yes, this meeting is absolutely not accidental.We both knew how the date goesAnd even tears are not excluded.Beautiful you have not changed.Yes, you are not so keen on that.I love you for consistency.And you often, I often dreamed of.Today I do not see sleep until dawn,I write, not noticing lines, cells.Your breath inspires, do you believe?This and all other questions you know the answers.To me like a magnet pulled meTrust justified, hopes not deceived,Well, what are you doing with me?Ah istanbul, ah istanbul!

Forget it.

Do not forget, but forget.And stop stretching smileAnd look away.And do not count the minutesAnd talk about pain.And burst into tears. To emptiness.And do not read funny horoscopesFor tomorrow. For today.Do not rush.And dreamOptional color.And do not look for meaning in them.And love the flowers,Do not immerse them in waterOn the machine.And do not hope —Know for sure.And do not tempt fate.Fall in love.

Just one word

And how much sense in it.Hope in him so muchConfusion, timidity.Moment of waiting like thatFirst time.Happiness shrouded in fogNot us.Cherished wordHeal by prayerNot a soul, it is not in place.Unlikely toPeace to find.Just one word found

Sorry

I love this town.He sheltered me,He did not demand to be chaste.And I did not ask about the pastAnd did not teachAll sorts of everyday wisdom.I love this town.He let me goWhenever I left away,But then he acceptedImmediately forgiveI love this town,He survived with meThe pain of loss, longing and betrayal.Cured of youAnd the rain washed away the tears.He also really needs me..

City of Hearts

Triumphal arch after waving.I will not forget your Eiffel Tower,And the Versailles fairy palace.I will not forget, as in the Cathedral of Notre DameI represented the tragedy of HugoAnd as she walked in the Champs-Elysées, in the fieldsAnd he was full of quiche (pie).I will not forget the Louvre, the grin of Mona Lisa.Those pancakes with caramel syrup.Avenue Montaigne, La Defense Quarter,Dress Pompadour – the most charming Awnings.

Seem strong

To smile.A hundred times fall.A hundred times to climb.Curse the fate.Ask for forgiveness.FightStuck in humility.And annoying to loveThen all of a sudden forget,Then reproach how the beast howlAnd in every way black everywhere.Then coolEnnoble.Be yourselfBlame yourself.

Do you still hope that you are safe from death?

What will not tear apart your dark soul devils?What will escape the fate of Einstein, Dostoevsky, Vern?What will you live forever?To say that imperishable? A rockGreat Pyramids, Chinese Wall, Kremlin, Colosseum,He does not burn in hell. He will not touch the time.It is not stuffed with tubes, will not be placed inside the insulator,He will not begin to restore the heart rhythmWith the help of a professional defibrillator.He will not dig a hole filled with worms.He will not be mourned with enthusiasm Yaroslavna.They will be admired at all times, spend fabulous money,Seeing again, again and again.And you will go into the darkness, and the earth will block the way back.They will not touch you, talk to you, cuddle.Well, maybe they will remember it once, but not more.What are they alive for the dead to kill?

Departing bus after

You look, reluctantly recognizing:Just disappears life traceSnow sweeps him on purpose.Fragile snowflakes striveSoar up again,Do not stoop.Stupid snowflakes you,It is impossible to enjoy forever.We are all guests of Mother Earth,All leave, no one will remember us.How many b, you blizzards, not broke,Soon Spring will remind of itself.I do not believe in UFOs,In the apocalypse and in the spirits.Maybe this is wonderfulWell, I do not believe and that’s it.In Chupacabra I do not believeAnd in the Loch Ness monster,In the werewolf, the Witch, the Fairy,And in the pirate treasure.I am sure that there is no Mermaid,No Yeti, no Zombies…I do not believe in that horror life

I believe in real love

Painfully.Tears swallow.Know butI still dream.Rubber heartSilentNot a single knock.Sleeps awake.There is not enough air.I do not live.Terminate my moth.Winter againBlizzards again.I see myselfWhat flew awayBirds to the south.Not soon to return.The time of those blizzardsWhat famously rush inIn life il fate.Does it matter?One thing is clear:Winter againBlizzards again.Blizzards,FrostSobbing in bed

Night without sleep, My dream is close to me

All this is strange. I sleep awake.Outside the window, snow was falling, rain was falling.Morning again. Back at the bakery on the corner.Home to run Macintosh.What do we have here? World News?Hmm… about hunger? About diseases?Aha! About those who are mad about fat!About war? About kids?“Children need clothes!Children want to see and hear!Children need support!Do you hear? Save the little ones!Do not plug your ears. Do not look away.Do not pass by. Do not fall asleep standingAt your monitor.Become a hero for a second”Ooh…Boring, uninteresting.Beaten, sad, fresh

I would need

I would needJust open the window,Just let in a littleFresh air.I would needJust forgive yourselfJust accept yourselfAnd stop punishingI would needJust counting up to one hundred,Stop anyoneProve anything.I would needJust closing my eyesImagineThat we are strangers to each other.I would needJust meet the dawn,Just spend the sunset,Just live between them

It’s not wrong

Who does not go all in,Who does not risk, who is afraid.Whom you can’t whip,Not podzadorishWho does not accept impropriety,They eschew.Who does not dareWith the fate of an agreement.Who cares what they thinkWhat will they say, in other wordsRumor is afraid.Who suitsAny alignment of eventsWho is not in a hurry to change it,Does not want to rush.Who lies to himselfWhat others have is no better.Who to changeNot committed.Who forever stuckIn the choking swampAnd scoffs at thoseWho can not sit on better.Not insulting.It is not insulting.Disappointed, really…I’m tired…Here come back, quite obviouslyNothing left for you:Not a bit, not a drop, not a crumb,From myself to save failedWell she after the echoing bombing.Not dead, but completely numb.And she was deaf from the explosionsAnd blind from the tears of waterfalls,And does not believe the words are falsePathetic scum, scum and reptiles.

By force I did not fall in love with myself

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