Uncertain Destiny

‘She, too, felt as if she were trying to fight something she had no power over. Justin called it destiny, but she was very much aware that this destiny could prove to be as much her destruction as her future happiness. And at the moment she wasn’t sure which Justin was in her life although, knowing of the contempt with which he held love, she had a very good idea!

She pulled out of his arms. ‘I was also destined to meet Tony,’ she reminded him firmly. ‘And I’m going to marry him.’ She dared Justin to deny that.

He didn’t. ‘I’ll take you back to him,’ he drawled pleasantly, his hand light on her elbow.

Caroline trusted this calm friendliness even less than she did his blunt announcement that they were going to have an affair, eyeing him warily as they rejoined Tony and Paula, the brother and sister standing together in stony silence.

‘You were gone long enough,’ Tony snapped with uncharacteristic bad humour. ‘I was almost desperate enough to ask Paula to dance!’

His sister gave him a disparaging look. ‘Don’t delude yourself into thinking I would have accepted,’ she scorned.

Hazel eyes flashed. ‘I suppose you intend leaving now that you’ve done your duty by the parents?’ he accused angrily.

Paula flushed guiltily. ‘Justin and I have somewhere else to go,’ she defended.

‘I’m sure you do,’ Tony acknowledged disgustedly.

It was obvious that Paula’s intention of leaving only twenty minutes after her arrival was the reason she and Tony had been arguing all the time she and Justin were dancing. Caroline suddenly found, to her dismay, that she was as disgusted as Tony at the thought of the other couple leaving so that they could make love—but for completely different reasons.

She looked up at Justin uncertainly as he squeezed her arm reassuringly.

‘Caro.’

It was the softest of murmurs, barely perceptible as he spoke close to her ear so that the other couple shouldn’t hear him, and yet it was enough to reassure her that he didn’t intend making love to Paula tonight, that it was her he wanted.

It was ridiculous to be pleased by the realisation, disloyal when she intended marrying Tony if he should ask her. But for that heart-stopping moment she wanted to be the one to leave with Justin, wanted to hear him murmur that shortened version of her name, that no one else had ever used before, over and over again as he made love to her.

‘Why don’t you stay on at the party, Paula?’ Justin suggested briskly. ‘I really do have to leave now.’

Paula looked alarmed as it seemed he would slip away from her. ‘Oh, but——’

‘I did warn you I didn’t really have the time for a party tonight,’ he cut in in a voice that brooked no further protest to his decision to leave, alone. ‘I’ll see you on Monday. Tony,’ he nodded abruptly to the other man. ‘Caroline,’ he added lingeringly, his gaze holding her captive before he turned and strode purposefully across the room.

‘Damn, damn, damn!’ Paula muttered furiously as Justin left without a backwards glance.

‘You caught yourself the wrong one this time, sister dear,’ Tony taunted.

Paula answered as heatedly as Tony had known she would, but Caroline wasn’t listening to their conversation, still staring across the room to where Justin had left seconds earlier. He hadn’t said anything about seeing her again but she knew that he was arrogant enough to try to contact her again, that he hadn’t given up.

The rest of the evening was an anti-climax for Caroline, who barely noticed that Tony and Paula seemed to argue most of the time. Considering they were two mature people, Tony thirty to Paula’s thirty-five, both in exacting professions, Tony a doctor while Paula was a very competent lawyer, the two of them seemed to revert to the nursery whenever they were together like this!

Caroline felt completely drained by the time the party drew to a close, finding it extremely difficult to behave as if that disturbing conversation with Justin de Wolfe had never taken place, and finding it even more difficult to behave as if nothing had changed between herself and Tony.

But it had changed; nothing was the same, not even her response to his goodnight kisses once they reached her flat.

‘You’re tired.’ Tony finally drew back at her lack of enthusiasm for his caresses. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow after work.’

Of course she was tired; it had been a long and traumatic day on the ward. Everything would look different after a good night’s sleep. Most of all that conversation with Justin de Wolfe. She firmly put from her mind the fact that tiredness had never made her unresponsive towards Tony before.

But once she was in bed the memory of Justin de Wolfe and his outrageous suggestion that they had an affair wouldn’t be put from her mind any longer. He was such a fascinating man, his elusiveness where women were concerned making him more so, she admitted that. And he wanted her. He hadn’t said that he loved her, or that he even liked her, but he did want her.

And she didn’t for one moment believe his calm acceptance of her refusal to see him again was the end of it, also knew that a little thing like not knowing her address wouldn’t stop a man like him if he were really determined to see her again. And he had seemed very determined.

She—–

‘Caroline.’

She turned to the doorway, her eyes wide, shaking slightly as she saw from the cold expression on Justin’s face that he was still filled with that implacable anger.

His expression darkened as she eyed him apprehensively. ‘You’re tired, and it’s late,’ he bit out, striding purposefully across the room, standing so close to her chair that the heat of his body reached out and touched her. ‘It’s time we were both in bed.’

‘But the things you said,’ she reminded in a pained voice. ‘The baby—–’

‘I don’t think anything can be gained by discussing that any more tonight.’ His gaze was cold, his mouth a taut line as he pulled her effortlessly to her feet.

‘But’

‘Let’s go to bed, Caroline,’ he prompted impatiently. ‘Perhaps things will look—different, in the morning,’ he added in a hard voice.

If they went to bed together tonight, would he want to make love to her? He was furious at the idea of the child she carried, but the flame she could see in the depths of his gaze told her it hadn’t changed his desire for her.

But nothing would have changed in the morning; she would still be pregnant and, from the hardness of his expression, Justin would still be denying the child was his.

She shook her head, several tendrils of fiery hair escaping the loose upsweep on to the crown of her head. ‘The baby isn’t going to disappear overnight,’ she told him.

‘Are you refusing to share a bed with me, Caroline?’ He spoke softly.

She never had, not from the beginning, unable to fight the truth of his claim at their first meeting. They always wanted each other to the point of desperation; just a look from her or the murmur of her name from Justin and the two of them would be making love. It had been that way since she first went out with him.

But they couldn’t make love tonight, not with the baby’s existence standing so solidly between them. She would never be able to forget that Justin had accused her of carrying Tony’s child; not even the mindless pleasure she could always find in Justin’s arms could make her forget that.

She heaved a ragged sigh. ‘I have to, Justin,’ she told him emotionally. ‘We have to settle the matter of the baby before I—–’

He stiffened, and suddenly Caroline had a feeling much like a person in a courtroom must do just before Justin began to cross-examine them.

‘The matter is settled, Caroline,’ he bit out. ‘The child inside you is not mine. It is a medical impossibility for it to be so.’

‘But—–’

‘Medically impossible, Caroline,’ he repeated harshly.

‘Doctors make mistakes—–’

‘Not this time.’ His voice was a cold rasp.

‘But they have to have done,’ she insisted desperately. ‘I was a virgin that first night we were together, you know that!’ She looked up at him appealingly.

He gave an acknowledging inclination of his head. ‘But you did insist on seeing Tony—alone—after that, to explain that you intended marrying me,’ he reminded her calmly.

Caroline felt the colour leave her cheeks, staring at him as if she couldn’t believe what he was suggesting. ‘Justin, you can’t think, believe—–’

‘What other explanation can there be for your pregnancy?’ He shrugged dismissively.

‘You prefer to believe I went to bed with Tony just before we were married rather than that the doctor who told you you’re sterile made a mistake?’ she gasped in a pained voice.

His gaze was narrowed. ‘Yes.’

She sat down suddenly. ‘Then you’re right, discussing this any further wouldn’t help at all,’ she said dully, blinking back the tears.

He nodded abruptly. ‘I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom tonight,’ he told her harshly. ‘We’ll have to decide tomorrow what’s to be done about the baby.’

That roused her from the sea of pain she had been drowning in. ‘What’s to be done?’ she repeated slowly, reluctantly, watching him warily.

‘I don’t want children, Caroline,’ he stated abruptly. ‘I never have.’

What did that mean? That he wanted her to leave and take the baby with her, or that he just didn’t want the baby?

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