One Night With The Italian Doc

She didn’t particularly want Anton to know just how bad things had been. In fact, as her fingers traced the scar on her scalp and her tongue slid over the crown on her front tooth, she could not imagine telling him what had happened in her past—it would be a helluva lot to dump on him.

Louise let out a breath as she recalled her family’s and friends’ reactions.

It had been Emily she had called on Boxing Day and Rory too.

Rory, whose friendship she had dumped, had, when she’d needed him, patched her up enough to go and face her parents at least.

No, she did not even want to think of Anton’s reaction to her tale so she pushed all thoughts of that away and pulled out the referral letter and made the call she had been waiting for ever to make.

Anton must have rung ahead as promised because when Louise spoke to the secretary she was told that there had been a cancellation and that she could see Richard the following Wednesday at ten a.m. Louise checked her diary on her phone and saw that she was on a late that day.

Perfect!

Louise put down the phone and did a little happy dance.

Finally, possibly, her baby was on the way!

CHAPTER EIGHT

EVERY QUESTION THAT Louise had, and there were many, was answered.

Susan had come to Louise’s appointment with her and Louise was very glad to have her mother by her side. She knew she would probably forget half of what was said later. Also it was easier if her mother understood what was happening first hand.

Richard ordered a full screening, along with a pelvic ultrasound, and did a thorough examination, as well as looking through the app she had on her phone that charted all her dates.

‘We have counsellors here and I really suggest that you take up my suggestion and make an appointment. The next step is to await all the blood results and then I’ll see you in the new year and we’ll look at the ways we can go ahead.’

Louise nodded.

‘But you think I’ll probably end up having IVF?’ Louise said, because that was the impression she had got during the consultation. She was nervous that the fertility drugs might produce too many eggs but with IVF it was more controlled and Louise only wanted one embryo put back. Richard had even discussed egg sharing, which would give Louise one round of IVF free.

‘I’m leaning that way, given your irregular cycle and that you want to avoid a multiple pregnancy, but right now I’d suggest you carry on with the iron and folic acid till we get the results back. We might put you on something stronger once they’re in. For now, go and have a good Christmas.’

Louise made an appointment for the second week in January, when Richard returned from his Christmas break, and she made an appointment for an ultrasound and then went and had all the bloodwork done as well.

‘Aren’t you going to book the counsellor?’ Susan asked.

‘Why would I need to see one?’ Louise said. ‘You didn’t have to see one before you had your three children.’

‘True,’ Susan responded, ‘but before we went in you said that you were going to do everything he suggests.’

‘And I am,’ Louise said, ‘apart from that one.’

Louise’s cheeks were unusually pink as they walked down the corridor. Her mind was all ajumble because even as little as a couple of weeks ago she’d have happily signed up to talk to someone. She was one hundred per cent sure that she wanted this.

Or make that ninety-nine point nine per cent positive.

‘Have you got time for a quick lunch before your shift?’ Susan asked.

She did have time but unfortunately that point one per cent, or rather Anton, was already in the canteen and Louise was very conscious of him as they got their meals. Fortunately the table that Susan selected was quite far away from where Anton sat.

‘Well, all I can say is that he was a lot better than the GP,’ Susan said. ‘Do you feel better for having seen him?’

‘I do.’

‘You’re very quiet all of a sudden.’

Louise didn’t know whether or not to say anything to her mum.

Actually, she didn’t know if there even was anything to discuss. She and Anton had returned to business as usual after the other night. She was being far less flirtatious and Anton was checking up on her work even more than usual, if that was possible.

‘I think I like someone, Mum,’ Louise admitted. ‘I’m a bit confused, to be honest.’

‘Does he know that you like him?’

Louise nodded. ‘And he also knows I’m doing this but I think if I continue to go ahead then it takes away any chance for us. I don’t even know if I want us to have a chance.’

Susan asked what should have been a simple question. ‘What’s he like?’

‘I don’t really know.’ Louise gave a wry laugh. ‘I know what he’s like at work and I find him a bit …’ She hesitated. ‘Well, he’s very thorough with his patients and I’m pretty used to doctors dismissing and overriding midwives …’ Louise thought for a long moment before continuing. ‘I’ve just fancied him for a long time but nothing ever happened and now, when I’ve decided to do this, he seems to want to give us a try.’

‘How long have you liked him for?’ Susan asked.

‘About six months.’

‘And if he’d tried anything six months ago, what would you have done?’

‘Run a mile.’

‘If he’d tried anything three months ago, what would you have done?’

‘Run a mile,’ Louise admitted.

Only now was she truly healing.

‘Do you want to give it a try?’

‘I think so,’ Louise said, ‘but I want this so much too.’

She wanted back her one hundred per cent and her unwavering certainty she was finally on the right path. Unthinkingly she looked across the canteen and possibly the cause of her indecision sensed it, because Anton glanced over and briefly met her gaze.

‘I don’t see a problem.’ Susan picked up her knife and fork and brought Louise back to the conversation. ‘You don’t have an appointment till the second week of January and Richard did say to go and enjoy Christmas. Have some fun, heaven knows, you deserve it. Maybe just try not to think about getting pregnant for a few weeks.’

Louise nodded, though her heart wasn’t in it. Her mum tried, she really did, but she simply couldn’t get it. Getting pregnant wasn’t something Louise could shove in a box and leave in her wardrobe and drag it out in a few weeks and pick up again—it was something she had been building towards for a very long time.

She glanced over and saw that Anton was walking out of the canteen. There had been so little conversation of late between them that Susan could never have guessed the topic of their conversation had just walked past them.

‘Think about counselling,’ Susan suggested again.

‘Why would I when I’ve got you?’ Louise smiled.

‘Ah, but since when did you tell me all that’s going on?’

Her mother was right, she didn’t tell her parents everything. ‘Maybe I will,’ Louise said, because this year had been one of so many changes. Even as little as a month or so ago she’d have died on the spot had Anton responded to one of her flirts. She was changing, ever changing, and every time she felt certain where she was heading, the road seemed to change direction again.

No.

Louise refused to let go of her dream.

‘I need to get to my shift.’

‘And I need to hit the shops.’ Susan smiled. ‘Come over at the weekend, I’ll make your favourite.’

‘I shall,’ Louise said, and gave her mum a kiss goodbye. ‘I’ll give you a call. Thanks for coming with me today.’

Louise’s patient allocation was a mixed bag between Stephanie and Anton’s patients and all were prenatal patients, which meant no baby fix for Louise this shift.

‘Hi, Carmel, I’m Louise,’ she introduced herself to a new patient. Carmel had been admitted via the antenatal clinic where she had been found to have raised blood pressure. ‘How are you?’

‘Worried,’ Carmel said. ‘I thought I was just coming for my antenatal appointment and I find out my blood pressure’s high and that the baby’s still breech. I’m trying to sort out the other children.’

‘This is your third?’

Carmel nodded. ‘I’ve got a three- and a five-year-old. My husband really doesn’t have any annual leave left and I can’t ask my mum.’ Carmel started to cry and, having taken her blood pressure, Louise sat on the chair by her bed.

‘There’s still time for the baby to turn,’ Louise said. ‘You’re not due till January …’ she checked her notes ‘… the seventh.’

‘But Stephanie said if it doesn’t turn then I’ll have a Caesarean before Christmas.’

Louise nodded because, rather than the chance of the mother going into spontaneous labour, Caesareans were performed a couple of weeks before the due date.

‘I just can’t be here for Christmas. I know the baby might have come then anyway but at least with a natural labour I could have had a chance to be in and out …’ Carmel explained what was going on a little better. ‘My mum’s really ill—it’s going to be her last Christmas.’

Poor Carmel had so much going on in her life at the moment that hospital was the last place she wanted to be. Right now, though, it was the place she perhaps needed to be, to concentrate on the baby inside and let go a little. Louise sat with her for ages, listening about Carmel’s mum’s illness and all the plans they had made for Christmas Day that were now in jeopardy.

Finally, having talked it out, Carmel calmed a bit and Louise pulled the curtains and suggested she sleep. ‘I’ll put a sign on the door so that you’re not disturbed.’

‘Unless it’s my husband.’

‘Of course.’ Louise smiled. ‘The sign just says to speak to the staff at the desk before coming in.’

She checked in on Felicity, who was one of Anton’s high-risk pregnancies, and then she got to Emily.

‘How’s my favourite patient?’ Louise asked a rather grumpy Emily.

Emily was very bored, very worried and also extremely uncomfortable after more than a week and a half spent in bed. She was relying heavily on Louise’s chatter and humour to keep her from the dark hole that her mind kept slipping into. ‘I’m dying to hear how you got on at your appointment.’

‘It went really well,’ Louise said, as she took Emily’s blood pressure.

‘Tell me.’

‘He was really positive,’ Louise explained, ‘though not in a false hope sort of way, just really practical. I’m going to be seeing him in the new year, when all my results are in, to see the best direction to take, but I think it will be IVF.’

‘Really!’

‘I think so.’ Louise nodded. ‘He discussed egg sharing, which would mean I’ll get a round of IVF free …’

‘You don’t feel funny about egg sharing?’ Emily asked, just as Anton walked in.

‘God, no,’ Louise said, happy to chat on. ‘I’d love to be able to help another woman to get her baby. It would be a win-win situation. I think egg sharing is a wonderful thing.’

She glanced over as Anton pulled out the BP cuff.

‘I’ve done Emily’s blood pressure,’ Louise said.

‘I’m just checking it for myself.’

Louise gritted her jaw. He did this all the time, all the time, even more so than before, and though it infuriated Louise she said nothing.

Here wasn’t the place.

‘Everything looks good,’ Anton said to Emily. ‘Twenty-nine weeks and four days now. You are doing really well.’

‘I’m so glad,’ Emily said, ‘but I’m also so …’ Emily didn’t finish. ‘I hate that I’m complaining when I’m so glad that I’m still pregnant.’

‘Of course you are bored and fed up.’ Anton shrugged. ‘Would a shower cheer you up?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Just a short one,’ Anton said, ‘sitting on a chair.’

‘Thank you,’ Emily said, but when Anton had gone she looked at Louise. ‘What’s going on with you two?’

‘Nothing,’ Louise said.

‘Nothing?’ Emily checked. ‘Come on, Louise, it’s me. I’m losing my mind here. At least you can tell me what’s going on in the real world.’

‘Maybe a teeny tiny thing has gone on,’ Louise said, ‘but we’re back to him sulking at me now and double-checking everything that I do.’

‘Please, Louise, tell me what has happened between you.’

‘Nope,’ Louise said, but then relented a touch. ‘We got off with each other a smudge but I think the big chill is from my getting IVF.’

‘Well, it wouldn’t be the biggest turn-on.’

‘I guess.’

‘Can you put it off?’

‘I don’t want to put it off,’ Louise said. ‘Then again, I sort of do.’ She was truly confused. ‘God, could you imagine being in a relationship with Anton? He’d be coming home and checking I’d done hospital corners on the bed and things …’

‘He’s nothing like that,’ Emily said.

‘Ah, but you get his hospital bedside manner.’

‘Why not just try?’

‘Because I’ve sworn off relationships, they never work out … I don’t know,’ Louise sighed, and then she looked at her friend and told her the truth. ‘I’m scared to even try.’

‘When’s the maternity do?’ Emily asked.

‘Friday, but I’m on a late shift, so I’ll only catch the end.’

‘If you get changed at work I want to see you before you go.’

‘You will.’ Louise gave a wicked smile. ‘Let’s see if he can rustle up another supermodel.’

‘Or?’

Louise didn’t answer the question because she didn’t know the answer herself. ‘I’ll go and set up the shower for you,’ Louise said instead, and opened Emily’s locker and started to get her toiletries out. ‘What do you want to wear?’

‘Whatever makes me look least like a prostitute,’ Emily said, because, after all, it was Louise who had shopped for her!

‘But you look gorgeous in all of them,’ Louise said, ‘and I promise that you’re going to feel gorgeous too once you’ve had a shower.’

Emily actually did. After more than a week of washing from a bowl, a brief shower and a hair wash had her feeling so refreshed that she actually put on some make-up and her smile matched the scarlet nightdress that Louise had bought her.

‘Wrong room!’ Hugh joked, when he dropped in during a lull between patients, please to see how much brighter Emily looked.

In fact, Emily had quite a lot of visitors and Anton glanced into her room as he walked past.

‘Is she resting?’ Anton asked Louise.

‘I’m going to shoo them out soon,’ Louise said. ‘She’s had her sister and mum and now Hugh’s boss and his wife have dropped in.’

Alex and Jennifer were lovely, just lovely, but Emily really did need her rest and so, after checking in on Carmel, who seemed much calmer since her sleep and a visit from her husband and children, Louise popped in on Emily, dragging the CTG monitor with her.

‘How are you?’ Louise asked.

‘Fine!’ Emily said, but she had that slightly exhausted look in her eyes as she smiled brightly.

‘That’s good.’ Louise turned to the visitors. She knew Alex very well from the five years she had worked in Theatre and she knew Jennifer a little too. ‘I’m sorry to be a pain, but I’ve got to pop Louise on the monitor.’

‘Of course,’ Jennifer said. ‘We were just leaving.’

‘Don’t rush,’ Louise said, while meaning the opposite. ‘I’m just going to get some gel.’

That would give them time to say goodbye.

Of course Emily was grateful for visitors but even a shower, after all this time in bed, was draining, and Louise would do everything and anything she had to do to make sure Emily got her rest. By the time she returned with the gel Alex and Jennifer had said their goodbyes and were in the corridor.

‘How are you, Louise?’ Alex asked. ‘Missing Theatre?’

‘A bit,’ Louise admitted, ‘although I simply love it here.’

‘Well, we miss you,’ Alex said kindly, and then glanced over to the nurses’ station, where Anton was writing his notes. ‘Oh, there’s Anton. Jennifer, I must introduce you—’

‘Not now, darling,’ Jennifer said. ‘We really do have to get home for Josie.’

‘It will just take two minutes.’ Alex was insistent but as he went to walk over, Jennifer caught his arm.

‘Alex, I really am tired.’

‘Of course.’ Alex changed his mind and they wished Louise goodnight before heading off the ward.

Louise looked at Anton, remembering the night of the theatre do and Anton’s stilted response when Alex had said he hadn’t yet met his wife. Even if she and Anton were trying to keep their distance a touch, Louise couldn’t resist meddling.

‘She’s gone,’ Louise said, as he carried on writing.

‘Who?’

‘Jennifer.’

‘That’s good.’

‘She’s nice, isn’t she?’ Louise said, and watched his pen pause for a second.

‘So I’ve heard,’ Anton responded, and carried on writing.

‘Have you met her?’

Anton looked up and met Louise’s eyes, which were sparkling with mischief. ‘Should I have?’

‘I don’t know.’ Louise smiled, all the more curious, but, looking at him, properly looking at him for the first time since he had handed her the referral, she was curious now for different reasons. ‘Why aren’t we talking, Anton?’

‘We’re talking now.’

‘Why are you checking everything I do?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Believe me, you are. I might just as well give you the obs trolley and follow you around and simply write your findings down.’

‘Louise, I like to check my patients myself. It has nothing to do with you.’

‘Okay.’ She went to go but changed her mind. ‘We’re not talking, though, are we?’

He glanced at the sticking plaster on her arm from where she had had blood tests. ‘How was your appointment?’

‘He was very informative,’ Louise said.

‘You’re seeing him again?’

‘In January.’ Louise nodded.

‘May I ask …?’ Anton said, and Louise closed her eyes.

‘Please don’t.’

‘So I just sit here and say nothing?’ Anton checked.

He glanced down the corridor. ‘Come to my office.’

Louise did as she wanted to hear what he had to say.

‘I want to see if we can have a chance and I don’t think we’ll get one with you about to go on IVF.’

‘Oh, so I’m to put all my plans on hold because you now think we might have a chance.’

‘I don’t think that’s unreasonable.’

‘I do,’ Louise said. ‘I very much do. I’ve liked you for months,’ she said, ‘months and months, and now, when I’m just getting it together, when I’m going ahead with what I’ve decided to do, you suddenly decide, oh, okay, maybe I’ll give her a try.’

‘Come off it, Louise …’

‘No, you come off it,’ Louise snapped back. A part of her knew he was right but the other part of her knew that she was. She’d cancelled her dreams for a man once before and had sworn never to do it again and so she went to walk off.

‘You won’t even discuss it?’

‘I need to think,’ Louise said.

‘Think with me, then.’

‘No.’

She was scared to, scared that he might make up her mind, and she was so past being that person. Instead, she gave him a cheeky smile. ‘Richard told me to have a very nice Christmas.’

Her smile wasn’t returned.

‘I’m not into Christmas.’

‘I meant—’

‘I know what you meant, Louise,’ Anton said. ‘You want some gun for hire.’

‘Ooh, Anton!’ Louise smiled again and then thought for a moment. ‘Actually, I do.’

‘Tough.’

Anton stood in his office for a few moments as she walked off.

Maybe he’d been a bit terse there, he conceded.

But it was hearing Louise talk about egg sharing with Emily that had had him on edge. From the little Louise had told him about her fertility issues he had guessed IVF would be her best option if she wanted to get pregnant. Often women changed their minds after the first visit. He had hoped it might be the case with Louise while deep down knowing that it wouldn’t be.

He had seen her sitting in the canteen with her mother today—and it had to have been her mum as Anton could see where Louise had got her looks from—but even that had caused disquiet.

Louise had talked this through with her family. It was clearly not a whim.

It just left no room for them.

Anton wanted more than just sex for a few weeks.

Then he changed his mind because a few weeks of straight sex sounded pretty ideal right now.

Perhaps they should try pushing things aside and just seeing how the next few weeks unfolded.

He walked out of his office and there was Louise, walking with a woman in labour. She caught his eye and gave him a wink.

Anton smiled in return.

The tease was back on.

CHAPTER NINE

‘I AM SO, so jealous!’ Emily said, as Louise teetered in on high heels on Friday night, having finished her shift and got changed into her Christmas party clothes.

‘It’s fine that you’re jealous,’ Louise said to Emily, ‘because I am so, so jealous of you. I’d love to be in bed now, nursing my bump.’

‘You look stunning,’ Hugh said.

Louise was dressed in a willow-green dress that clung to her lack of curves and she had her Mistletoe range stockings on, which came with matching panties, bra and suspenders. As they chatted Louise topped her outfit off with a very red coat that looked more like a cape and was a piece of art in itself.

‘God help Anton,’ Hugh said openly to Louise.

‘Sadly, he’s stuck on the ward.’ Louise rolled her eyes. ‘So that was a waste of six pounds.’

As she headed out Hugh turned to Emily, who was trying not to laugh at Hugh’s reaction.

‘Was she talking about condoms?’ Hugh asked.

‘She was.’

Oh, Louise was!

As she approached the elevator, there was Anton and his patient must have been sorted because he had changed out of scrubs and was wearing black jeans and a black jumper and looked as festive as one might expect for Anton. He smelt divine, though, Louise thought as she stood beside him, waiting for the lift. ‘You’ve escaped for the weekend,’ Louise said.

‘I have.’

‘Me too!’

She looked at the clothes he was wearing. Black trousers, a black shirt and a very dark grey coat. He looked fantastic rather than festive. ‘I didn’t know they did out-of-hours funerals,’ Louise said as they stepped into the elevator and her eyes ran over his attire.

‘You would have me in a reindeer jumper.’

‘With a glow stick round your neck,’ Louise said as she selected the ground floor. ‘It will be fun tonight.’

‘Well, I’m just going to put my head in to be polite,’ Anton said. ‘I don’t want to stay long.’

‘Yawn, yawn,’ Louise said. ‘You really are a misery at Christmas, Anton. Well, I’m staying right to the end. I missed out on far too many parties last year.’

She leant against the wall and gave him a smile when she saw he was looking at her.

‘You look very nice,’ Anton said.

‘Thank you,’ Louise responded, and she felt a little rush as his eyes raked over her body and this time Anton did look down, all the way to her toes and then back up to her eyes.

She resented that the lift jolted and that the doors opened and someone came in. They all stood in silence but this was no socially awkward nightmare. His delicious, slow perusal continued all the way to the ground floor.

‘Do you want a lift to the party?’ Anton offered.

‘It’s a five-minute walk,’ Louise said. ‘Come back later for your car.’

They stepped out and it was snowing, just a little. It was too damp and not cold enough for it to settle but there in the light of the streetlamps she could see the flakes floating in the night and he saw her smile and chose to walk the short distance.

It was cold, though, and Louise hated the cold.

‘I should have worn a more sensible coat,’ Louise said through chattering teeth because her coat, though divine, was a bit flimsy. It was the perfect red, though, and squishy and soft, and she dragged it out every December and she explained that to Anton. ‘But this is my Christmas party coat. It wasn’t the most thought-out purchase of my life.’