The Two Gentlemen of Verona

  PROTEUS. Run, boy, run, run, seek him out.  LAUNCE. So-ho, so-ho!  PROTEUS. What seest thou?  LAUNCE. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on 's head but'tis a    Valentine.  PROTEUS. Valentine?  VALENTINE. No.  PROTEUS. Who then? his spirit?  VALENTINE. Neither.  PROTEUS. What then?  VALENTINE. Nothing.  LAUNCE. Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?  PROTEUS. Who wouldst thou strike?  LAUNCE. Nothing.  PROTEUS. Villain, forbear.  LAUNCE. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing. I pray you-  PROTEUS. Sirrah, I say, forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.  VALENTINE. My ears are stopp'd and cannot hear good news,    So much of bad already hath possess'd them.  PROTEUS. Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,    For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.  VALENTINE. Is Silvia dead?  PROTEUS. No, Valentine.  VALENTINE. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia.    Hath she forsworn me?  PROTEUS. No, Valentine.  VALENTINE. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.    What is your news?  LAUNCE. Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.  PROTEUS. That thou art banished- O, that's the news! -    From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend.  VALENTINE. O, I have fed upon this woe already,    And now excess of it will make me surfeit.    Doth Silvia know that I am banished?  PROTEUS. Ay, ay; and she hath offered to the doom-    Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force-    A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears;    Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd;    With them, upon her knees, her humble self,    Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them    As if but now they waxed pale for woe.    But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,    Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,    Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire-    But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.    Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so,    When she for thy repeal was suppliant,    That to close prison he commanded her,    With many bitter threats of biding there.  VALENTINE. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st    Have some malignant power upon my life:    If so, I pray thee breathe it in mine ear,    As ending anthem of my endless dolour.  PROTEUS. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,    And study help for that which thou lament'st.    Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.    Here if thou stay thou canst not see thy love;    Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.    Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that,    And manage it against despairing thoughts.    Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,    Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd    Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.    The time now serves not to expostulate.    Come, I'll convey thee through the city gate;    And, ere I part with thee, confer at large    Of all that may concern thy love affairs.    As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself,    Regard thy danger, and along with me.  VALENTINE. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,    Bid him make haste and meet me at the Northgate.  PROTEUS. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.  VALENTINE. O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS  LAUNCE. I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit tothink    my master is a kind of a knave; but that's all one if he bebut    one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love; yetI am    in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me;nor    who 'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman I willnot    tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet 'tis not a maid,for    she hath had gossips; yet 'tis a maid, for she is hermaster's    maid and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a    water-spaniel- which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the    cate-log [Pulling out a paper] of her condition. 'Inprimis:She    can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse can do no more; nay, ahorse    cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a    jade. 'Item: She can milk.' Look you, a sweet virtue in amaid    with clean hands.

Enter SPEED

  SPEED. How now, Signior Launce! What news with your mastership?  LAUNCE. With my master's ship? Why, it is at sea.  SPEED. Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What news,    then, in your paper?  LAUNCE. The black'st news that ever thou heard'st.  SPEED. Why, man? how black?  LAUNCE. Why, as black as ink.  SPEED. Let me read them.  LAUNCE. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read.  SPEED. Thou liest; I can.  LAUNCE. I will try thee. Tell me this: Who begot thee?  SPEED. Marry, the son of my grandfather.  LAUNCE. O illiterate loiterer. It was the son of thygrandmother.    This proves that thou canst not read.  SPEED. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.  LAUNCE. [Handing over the paper] There; and Saint Nicholas bethy    speed.  SPEED. [Reads] 'Inprimis: She can milk.'  LAUNCE. Ay, that she can.  SPEED. 'Item: She brews good ale.'  LAUNCE. And thereof comes the proverb: Blessing of your heart,you    brew good ale.  SPEED. 'Item: She can sew.'  LAUNCE. That's as much as to say 'Can she so?'  SPEED. 'Item: She can knit.'  LAUNCE. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when shecan    knit him a stock.  SPEED. 'Item: She can wash and scour.'  LAUNCE. A special virtue; for then she need not be wash'd and    scour'd.  SPEED. 'Item: She can spin.'  LAUNCE. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spinfor    her living.  SPEED. 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'  LAUNCE. That's as much as to say 'bastard virtues'; that indeed    know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.  SPEED. 'Here follow her vices.'  LAUNCE. Close at the heels of her virtues.  SPEED. 'Item: She is not to be kiss'd fasting, in respect ofher    breath.'  LAUNCE. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast.    Read on.  SPEED. 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'  LAUNCE. That makes amends for her sour breath.  SPEED. 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'  LAUNCE. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.  SPEED. 'Item: She is slow in words.'  LAUNCE. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To beslow    in words is a woman's only virtue. I pray thee, out with't;and    place it for her chief virtue.  SPEED. 'Item: She is proud.'  LAUNCE. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot beta'en    from her.  SPEED. 'Item: She hath no teeth.'  LAUNCE. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.  SPEED. 'Item: She is curst.'  LAUNCE. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.  SPEED. 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'  LAUNCE. If her liquor be good, she shall; if she will not, Iwill;    for good things should be praised.  SPEED. 'Item: She is too liberal.'  LAUNCE. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she isslow    of; of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut. Nowof    another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.  SPEED. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults    than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'  LAUNCE. Stop there; I'll have her; she was mine, and not mine,    twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that oncemore.  SPEED. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit'-  LAUNCE. More hair than wit. It may be; I'll prove it: the coverof    the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than thesalt;    the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the    greater hides the less. What's next?  SPEED. 'And more faults than hairs'-  LAUNCE. That's monstrous. O that that were out!  SPEED. 'And more wealth than faults.'  LAUNCE. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I'llhave    her; an if it be a match, as nothing is impossible-  SPEED. What then?  LAUNCE. Why, then will I tell thee- that thy master stays forthee    at the Northgate.  SPEED. For me?  LAUNCE. For thee! ay, who art thou? He hath stay'd for a betterman    than thee.  SPEED. And must I go to him?  LAUNCE. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stay'd so long that    going will scarce serve the turn.  SPEED. Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love letters! Exit  LAUNCE. Now will he be swing'd for reading my letter. Anunmannerly    slave that will thrust himself into secrets! I'll after, to    rejoice in the boy's correction. Exit

SCENE II. Milan. The DUKE'S palace

Enter DUKE and THURIO

  DUKE. Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you    Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.  THURIO. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,    Forsworn my company and rail'd at me,    That I am desperate of obtaining her.  DUKE. This weak impress of love is as a figure    Trenched in ice, which with an hour's heat    Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.    A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,    And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.

Enter PROTEUS

    How now, Sir Proteus! Is your countryman,    According to our proclamation, gone?  PROTEUS. Gone, my good lord.  DUKE. My daughter takes his going grievously.  PROTEUS. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.  DUKE. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.    Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee-    For thou hast shown some sign of good desert-    Makes me the better to confer with thee.  PROTEUS. Longer than I prove loyal to your Grace    Let me not live to look upon your Grace.  DUKE. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect    The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter.  PROTEUS. I do, my lord.  DUKE. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant    How she opposes her against my will.  PROTEUS. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.  DUKE. Ay, and perversely she persevers so.    What might we do to make the girl forget    The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio?  PROTEUS. The best way is to slander Valentine    With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent-    Three things that women highly hold in hate.  DUKE. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate.  PROTEUS. Ay, if his enemy deliver it;    Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken    By one whom she esteemeth as his friend.  DUKE. Then you must undertake to slander him.  PROTEUS. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do:    'Tis an ill office for a gentleman,    Especially against his very friend.  DUKE. Where your good word cannot advantage him,    Your slander never can endamage him;    Therefore the office is indifferent,    Being entreated to it by your friend.  PROTEUS. You have prevail'd, my lord; if I can do it    By aught that I can speak in his dispraise,    She shall not long continue love to him.    But say this weed her love from Valentine,    It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.  THURIO. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him,    Lest it should ravel and be good to none,    You must provide to bottom it on me;    Which must be done by praising me as much    As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.  DUKE. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind,    Because we know, on Valentine's report,    You are already Love's firm votary    And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.    Upon this warrant shall you have access    Where you with Silvia may confer at large-    For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,    And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you-    Where you may temper her by your persuasion    To hate young Valentine and love my friend.  PROTEUS. As much as I can do I will effect.    But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;    You must lay lime to tangle her desires    By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes    Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows.  DUKE. Ay,    Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.  PROTEUS. Say that upon the altar of her beauty    You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart;    Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears    Moist it again, and frame some feeling line    That may discover such integrity;    For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews,    Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,    Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans    Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.    After your dire-lamenting elegies,    Visit by night your lady's chamber window    With some sweet consort; to their instruments    Tune a deploring dump- the night's dead silence    Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance.    This, or else nothing, will inherit her.  DUKE. This discipline shows thou hast been in love.  THURIO. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice;    Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,    Let us into the city presently    To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music.    I have a sonnet that will serve the turn    To give the onset to thy good advice.  DUKE. About it, gentlemen!  PROTEUS. We'll wait upon your Grace till after supper,    And afterward determine our proceedings.  DUKE. Even now about it! I will pardon you. Exeunt

ACT IV. SCENE I. The frontiers of Mantua. A forest

Enter certain OUTLAWS

  FIRST OUTLAW. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger.  SECOND OUTLAW. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em.

Enter VALENTINE and SPEED

  THIRD OUTLAW. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye;    If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you.  SPEED. Sir, we are undone; these are the villains    That all the travellers do fear so much.  VALENTINE. My friends-  FIRST OUTLAW. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies.  SECOND OUTLAW. Peace! we'll hear him.  THIRD OUTLAW. Ay, by my beard, will we; for he is a proper man.  VALENTINE. Then know that I have little wealth to lose;    A man I am cross'd with adversity;    My riches are these poor habiliments,    Of which if you should here disfurnish me,    You take the sum and substance that I have.  SECOND OUTLAW. Whither travel you?  VALENTINE. To Verona.  FIRST OUTLAW. Whence came you?  VALENTINE. From Milan.  THIRD OUTLAW. Have you long sojourn'd there?  VALENTINE. Some sixteen months, and longer might have stay'd,    If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.  FIRST OUTLAW. What, were you banish'd thence?  VALENTINE. I was.  SECOND OUTLAW. For what offence?  VALENTINE. For that which now torments me to rehearse:    I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent;    But yet I slew him manfully in fight,    Without false vantage or base treachery.  FIRST OUTLAW. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so.    But were you banish'd for so small a fault?  VALENTINE. I was, and held me glad of such a doom.  SECOND OUTLAW. Have you the tongues?  VALENTINE. My youthful travel therein made me happy,    Or else I often had been miserable.  THIRD OUTLAW. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar,    This fellow were a king for our wild faction!  FIRST OUTLAW. We'll have him. Sirs, a word.  SPEED. Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind ofthievery.  VALENTINE. Peace, villain!  SECOND OUTLAW. Tell us this: have you anything to take to?  VALENTINE. Nothing but my fortune.  THIRD OUTLAW. Know, then, that some of us are gentlemen,    Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth    Thrust from the company of awful men;    Myself was from Verona banished    For practising to steal away a lady,    An heir, and near allied unto the Duke.  SECOND OUTLAW. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman    Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart.  FIRST OUTLAW. And I for such-like petty crimes as these.    But to the purpose- for we cite our faults    That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives;    And, partly, seeing you are beautified    With goodly shape, and by your own report    A linguist, and a man of such perfection    As we do in our quality much want-  SECOND OUTLAW. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man,    Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you.    Are you content to be our general-    To make a virtue of necessity,    And live as we do in this wilderness?  THIRD OUTLAW. What say'st thou? Wilt thou be of our consort?    Say 'ay' and be the captain of us all.    We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee,    Love thee as our commander and our king.  FIRST OUTLAW. But if thou scorn our courtesy thou diest.  SECOND OUTLAW. Thou shalt not live to brag what we haveoffer'd.  VALENTINE. I take your offer, and will live with you,    Provided that you do no outrages    On silly women or poor passengers.  THIRD OUTLAW. No, we detest such vile base practices.    Come, go with us; we'll bring thee to our crews,    And show thee all the treasure we have got;    Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. Exeunt

SCENE II. Milan. Outside the DUKE'S palace, under SILVIA'S window

Enter PROTEUS

  PROTEUS. Already have I been false to Valentine,    And now I must be as unjust to Thurio.    Under the colour of commending him    I have access my own love to prefer;    But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy,    To be corrupted with my worthless gifts.    When I protest true loyalty to her,    She twits me with my falsehood to my friend;    When to her beauty I commend my vows,    She bids me think how I have been forsworn    In breaking faith with Julia whom I lov'd;    And notwithstanding all her sudden quips,    The least whereof would quell a lover's hope,    Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love    The more it grows and fawneth on her still.

Enter THURIO and MUSICIANS

    But here comes Thurio. Now must we to her window,    And give some evening music to her ear.  THURIO. How now, Sir Proteus, are you crept before us?  PROTEUS. Ay, gentle Thurio; for you know that love    Will creep in service where it cannot go.  THURIO. Ay, but I hope, sir, that you love not here.  PROTEUS. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence.  THURIO. Who? Silvia?  PROTEUS. Ay, Silvia- for your sake.  THURIO. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen,    Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile.

Enter at a distance, HOST, and JULIA in boy's clothes

  HOST. Now, my young guest, methinks you're allycholly; I prayyou,    why is it?  JULIA. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry.  HOST. Come, we'll have you merry; I'll bring you where youshall    hear music, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for.  JULIA. But shall I hear him speak?  HOST. Ay, that you shall. [Music plays]  JULIA. That will be music.  HOST. Hark, hark!  JULIA. Is he among these?  HOST. Ay; but peace! let's hear 'em.SONG         Who is Silvia? What is she,           That all our swains commend her?         Holy, fair, and wise is she;           The heaven such grace did lend her,         That she might admired be.         Is she kind as she is fair?           For beauty lives with kindness.         Love doth to her eyes repair,           To help him of his blindness;         And, being help'd, inhabits there.         Then to Silvia let us sing           That Silvia is excelling;         She excels each mortal thing           Upon the dull earth dwelling.         'To her let us garlands bring.  HOST. How now, are you sadder than you were before?    How do you, man? The music likes you not.  JULIA. You mistake; the musician likes me not.  HOST. Why, my pretty youth?  JULIA. He plays false, father.  HOST. How, out of tune on the strings?  JULIA. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very    heart-strings.  HOST. You have a quick ear.  JULIA. Ay, I would I were deaf; it makes me have a slow heart.  HOST. I perceive you delight not in music.  JULIA. Not a whit, when it jars so.  HOST. Hark, what fine change is in the music!  JULIA. Ay, that change is the spite.  HOST. You would have them always play but one thing?  JULIA. I would always have one play but one thing.    But, Host, doth this Sir Proteus, that we talk on,    Often resort unto this gentlewoman?  HOST. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me: he lov'd herout of    all nick.  JULIA. Where is Launce?  HOST. Gone to seek his dog, which to-morrow, by his master's    command, he must carry for a present to his lady.  JULIA. Peace, stand aside; the company parts.  PROTEUS. Sir Thurio, fear not you; I will so plead    That you shall say my cunning drift excels.  THURIO. Where meet we?  PROTEUS. At Saint Gregory's well.  THURIO. Farewell. Exeunt THURIO and MUSICIANS

Enter SILVIA above, at her window

  PROTEUS. Madam, good ev'n to your ladyship.  SILVIA. I thank you for your music, gentlemen.    Who is that that spake?  PROTEUS. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth,    You would quickly learn to know him by his voice.  SILVIA. Sir Proteus, as I take it.  PROTEUS. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant.  SILVIA. What's your will?  PROTEUS. That I may compass yours.  SILVIA. You have your wish; my will is even this,    That presently you hie you home to bed.    Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man,    Think'st thou I am so shallow, so conceitless,    To be seduced by thy flattery    That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows?    Return, return, and make thy love amends.    For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,    I am so far from granting thy request    That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit,    And by and by intend to chide myself    Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.  PROTEUS. I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady;    But she is dead.  JULIA. [Aside] 'Twere false, if I should speak it;    For I am sure she is not buried.  SILVIA. Say that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend,    Survives, to whom, thyself art witness,    I am betroth'd; and art thou not asham'd    To wrong him with thy importunacy?  PROTEUS. I likewise hear that Valentine is dead.  SILVIA. And so suppose am I; for in his grave    Assure thyself my love is buried.  PROTEUS. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.  SILVIA. Go to thy lady's grave, and call hers thence;    Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine.  JULIA. [Aside] He heard not that.  PROTEUS. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,    Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,    The picture that is hanging in your chamber;    To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep;    For, since the substance of your perfect self    Is else devoted, I am but a shadow;    And to your shadow will I make true love.  JULIA. [Aside] If 'twere a substance, you would, sure,deceive it    And make it but a shadow, as I am.  SILVIA. I am very loath to be your idol, sir;    But since your falsehood shall become you well    To worship shadows and adore false shapes,    Send to me in the morning, and I'll send it;    And so, good rest.  PROTEUS. As wretches have o'ernight    That wait for execution in the morn.Exeunt PROTEUS and SILVIA  JULIA. Host, will you go?  HOST. By my halidom, I was fast asleep.  JULIA. Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?  HOST. Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think 'tis almost day.  JULIA. Not so; but it hath been the longest night    That e'er I watch'd, and the most heaviest. Exeunt

SCENE III. Under SILVIA'S window

Enter EGLAMOUR

  EGLAMOUR. This is the hour that Madam Silvia    Entreated me to call and know her mind;    There's some great matter she'd employ me in.    Madam, madam!

Enter SILVIA above, at her window

  SILVIA. Who calls?  EGLAMOUR. Your servant and your friend;    One that attends your ladyship's command.  SILVIA. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow!  EGLAMOUR. As many, worthy lady, to yourself!    According to your ladyship's impose,    I am thus early come to know what service    It is your pleasure to command me in.  SILVIA. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman-    Think not I flatter, for I swear I do not-    Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish'd.    Thou art not ignorant what dear good will    I bear unto the banish'd Valentine;    Nor how my father would enforce me marry    Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhors.    Thyself hast lov'd; and I have heard thee say    No grief did ever come so near thy heart    As when thy lady and thy true love died,    Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity.    Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine,    To Mantua, where I hear he makes abode;    And, for the ways are dangerous to pass,    I do desire thy worthy company,    Upon whose faith and honour I repose.    Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour,    But think upon my grief, a lady's grief,    And on the justice of my flying hence    To keep me from a most unholy match,    Which heaven and fortune still rewards with plagues.    I do desire thee, even from a heart    As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,    To bear me company and go with me;    If not, to hide what I have said to thee,    That I may venture to depart alone.  EGLAMOUR. Madam, I pity much your grievances;    Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd,    I give consent to go along with you,    Recking as little what betideth me    As much I wish all good befortune you.    When will you go?  SILVIA. This evening coming.  EGLAMOUR. Where shall I meet you?  SILVIA. At Friar Patrick's cell,    Where I intend holy confession.  EGLAMOUR. I will not fail your ladyship. Good morrow, gentlelady.  SILVIA. Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour. Exeunt

SCENE IV. Under SILVIA'S Window