Best Friend To Perfect Bride

‘It will.’

Mac’s tone was flat. Although there was no hint of censure in his voice, Bella knew that he was thinking about the way she had seemingly deserted Tim in his hour of need. The urge to tell him the truth—the real truth, not the version that Tim was determined to tell everyone—was very strong but she refused to go down that path. It wouldn’t improve Mac’s opinion of her if she tried to apportion blame; it could have the opposite effect, in fact.

It was hard to accept that there was very little she could do, but Bella knew there was no point agonising about it. Switching off the monitor, she turned to leave the office. ‘I’ll go and have a word with Mrs Adams,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘The sooner she knows what’s going on, the better.’

‘Fine. Do you want me to phone Oncology and start the ball rolling?’ Mac offered, following her out to the corridor.

‘If you wouldn’t mind … Oh, they’ve got a new phone number. They’re starting the refurbishments today so they’ve moved temporarily into the old building. I’ll get it for you.’ Bella went to go back into the office and staggered when she cannoned into Mac.

‘Sorry.’ He grinned as he set her safely back on her feet. ‘I didn’t expect you to turn round so suddenly, or that’s my excuse, anyway. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with me being born clumsy!’

‘No harm done,’ she assured him, although she could feel heat flowing from the point where his hands were gripping her shoulders. She stepped back, setting some much-needed space between them, or much-needed by her, at least. Mac appeared unmoved by the contact. ‘Janet should have Oncology’s new number, now that I think about it,’ she said, hastily squashing that thought. ‘Let me know what they say, won’t you?’

‘Will do.’

He sketched her a wave as he headed to Reception. Bella watched until he disappeared from sight then made her way to the cubicles. She wasn’t looking forward to the next few minutes. Breaking bad news to a parent was always difficult and one of the few things she disliked about her job …

Her breath caught as she felt the heat finally consume her entire body. It felt as though she was on fire, burning up, inside and out, and all because Mac had touched her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this way before, couldn’t remember when the touch of a man’s hands had set her alight, not even when Tim had made love to her. What did it mean? Or didn’t it mean anything really? Was it simply the lack of intimacy that had made her so susceptible all of a sudden?

Once Tim had become hooked on the painkillers, they had stopped making love. He hadn’t been interested in anything apart from where his next fix was coming from and she hadn’t been able to stand the thought of them being intimate when it wouldn’t have meant anything. It was almost two years since they had slept together and there had been nobody else since, or at least not for her. Was that why she felt so aware of her body all of a sudden, so emotionally charged? It wasn’t Mac’s touch per se that had aroused her but the fact that she had been denied an outlet for her feelings for such a long time?

Bella told herself that it was the real explanation; however, as she entered the cubicle, she knew in her heart that it was only partly true. Maybe the lack of intimacy was a contributing factor but she doubted if she would have reacted this way if another man had touched her the way Mac had done. The truth was that she had always been aware of him even though they had never been anything more than friends. There was something about him that she responded to, even though she had refused to acknowledge it. It made her see just how careful she needed to be. The last thing she wanted was to start craving Mac’s touch when it was obvious how he felt about her.

CHAPTER TWO

IT WAS A busy day but Mac enjoyed every second. Although he had worked in emergency medicine for some time, paediatric emergency care on this scale was a whole new ball game. The newly opened paediatric A&E unit accepted patients from a wide area and not just from Dalverston itself. Built on a separate site to the main hospital, it boasted the most up-to-date facilities available. Everything was geared up for children, from the bright and airy waiting room, which sported comfortable couches rather than the usual hard plastic chairs, to the on-site Radiography unit. X-rays, CT and MRI scans were all carried out in rooms that had been made as child-friendly as possible. Colourful murals adorned the walls and the staff wore brightly coloured polo shirts instead of their usual uniforms. Even the gowns the children were given to wear were printed with cartoon characters and had easy-to-fasten Velcro tabs instead of fiddly ties.

Whilst Mac knew that all these things were incidentals, they helped to put the children at their ease and that, in turn, helped him and the rest of the team do their job. By the time his shift ended, he knew that he was going to enjoy working there. Not only would it allow him to develop his skills in paediatric medicine, but it promised to be a fun place to work too. Several of the nurses were leaving at the same time as him so he held the door open for them, bowing low as they all trooped past.

‘After you, ladies,’ he said, grinning up at them.

‘Thank you, my man,’ one of them replied, sticking her nose into the air as she sallied forth.

They all laughed, Mac included, and it was a pleasant change to enjoy a bit of light-hearted banter. He hadn’t been overstating how bad things had been on his most recent aid mission. It had been extremely grim at times and it was a relief to feel that he could legitimately enjoy himself, even though he didn’t regret going and would do the same thing again if it were necessary. He often thought that he had the best of both worlds: he got to help people who were in dire need of his skills and he also had a job he loved to come back to. There was nothing else he could wish for … except, maybe, someone to share his life.

‘Thank you.’

The cool tones brought him up short. Mac straightened abruptly when he recognised Bella’s voice, feeling decidedly awkward at being caught on the hop. Although he and Bella had spoken several times during the day, their conversations had been confined to work. He had made sure of it, in fact. Although he had promised himself that he wouldn’t say anything to her about Tim, he had realised how hard it was going to be to bite his tongue. Bella had let Tim down. Badly. And it was painful to know that she was capable of such behaviour when he had expected so much more from her.

‘You’re welcome.’ He forced himself to smile even though his insides were churning with all the conflicting emotions. On the one hand he knew it was none of his business, yet on the other it still hurt to know that she had fallen so far short of the picture he had held of her. ‘It’s been a busy day, hasn’t it?’ he said, struggling to get his feelings in check. It wouldn’t serve any purpose whatsoever to tell her how disappointed he felt, how let down. After all, why should she care how he felt when she obviously didn’t care about Tim?

‘It has. We’re seeing more and more children now that word has spread that we’re open. Obviously, the other hospitals know we’re up and running, but it’s the parents bringing in their children that has made the difference.’

She gave a little shrug, immediately drawing his eyes to the slender lines of her body, elegantly encased in an emerald-green coat that he knew without needing to be told was from some exclusive designer’s collection. Bella had money—a great deal of money that she had been left by her grandparents—and it showed in the way she dressed, even though she had never flaunted her wealth. It was a tiny point in her favour and Mac found himself clinging to it. Maybe it was silly but he wanted to find something good about her, something to redress the balance a little. His smile was less forced this time.

‘It must take the pressure off the other A&E departments if more kids are being treated here. That can only be a good thing.’

‘Yes, although so many A&E units have closed that the ones which are left are still under a great deal of pressure.’

Bella headed towards the car park, making it clear that she didn’t expect Mac to accompany her. He hesitated, wondering why he felt so ambivalent all of a sudden. He had been planning an evening doing nothing more taxing than watching television. It was what he needed, some downtime after the hectic couple of months he’d had and yet, surprisingly, he was loath to spend the evening slumped in front of the box. He came to a swift decision even though his brain was telling him that he was making a mistake.

‘Do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat?’ he said as he caught up with her. He saw the surprise on her face when she glanced round but he ignored it. For some reason he didn’t intend to examine too closely, he wanted to spend the evening with her. ‘Nothing fancy, just a curry or something.’

‘I don’t know if it’s a good idea.’ She stopped and looked him straight in the eyes and he could see the challenge in her gaze. ‘It’s obvious how you feel, Mac. You blame me for what’s happened, don’t you?’

‘So why don’t you set the record straight and tell me your side of the story?’

He shrugged, wishing he felt as indifferent as he was trying to make out. Maybe he was wrong to blame her, but he couldn’t help it when he felt so let down. For all these years he had considered her to be the model of perfection and he didn’t want to have to change his view of her, especially when he sensed that it could have repercussions. Now that Bella had fallen from her pedestal, she was just a woman like any other. A woman he had always been deeply attracted to.

The thought made his insides churn and he hurried on. ‘It seems only fair to me.’

‘Sorry, but it isn’t going to happen. I have no intention of trying to justify myself to you or to anyone else.’

She carried on walking, ignoring him as she got into her car. Mac stared after her, wondering why she was being so stubborn. Leaving aside his reasons for wanting to get at the truth, surely it would make sense for her to explain why she had called time on her marriage? Nobody liked being blamed for something they hadn’t done and Bella must be no different …

Unless the truth was that she was too embarrassed to admit that she had been at fault.

Mac’s mouth thinned as he watched her drive away. Bella knew that she had been wrong to abandon Tim when he had needed her so desperately and that was why she couldn’t face the thought of talking about it. Although his opinion of her had already dropped way down the scale, it slid even further. Bella was a long way from being perfect, it seemed.

Bella spent a miserable evening. Not even the latest bestseller could take her mind off what had happened. Should she have done as Mac had suggested and told him her version—the real version—about what had gone on?

She kept mulling it over, wishing that she had and then just as quickly dismissing the idea. Once she set off down that route there would be no turning back; she would have to wait and see if Mac believed her. The thought that he might think she was lying was more than she could bear. It would be better not to say anything rather than have to endure his contempt.

She was due in to work at lunchtime the following day. By the time she arrived, there was quite a long queue of patients waiting to be seen. Janet waved as she crossed Reception and Bella waved back although she didn’t stop. There was a child screaming and it seemed propitious to go and check what was happening before the other children started to get upset. The noise was coming from the treatment room so she went straight there, frowning when she opened the door and was assailed by the shrill screams of an angry toddler.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked, dropping her coat onto a chair.

‘Alfie fell off his scooter and cut his knee,’ Laura Watson, one of their most experienced nurses, told her. She rolled her eyes. ‘Unfortunately, he won’t let me look at it ‘cos it’s sore.’

‘I see.’ Bella crouched down in front of the little boy. He was clinging to an older woman who she guessed was his grandmother. ‘That’s an awful lot of noise, Alfie. You’re going to scare Robbie if you scream like that.’

The little boy stopped screaming and peeped at her through his fingers, distracted by the mention of the unknown Robbie. Bella smiled at him. ‘That’s better. Have you met Robbie yet? He’s rather shy and only comes out of his cupboard when he thinks nobody is looking. I’ll go and see if I can find him.’

Standing up, she crossed the room and opened one of the cupboards that held their supplies. Robbie, the toy rabbit, was sitting on a shelf so she lifted him down and carried him back to the little boy.

‘Here he is. He must like you, Alfie, because he came straight out of his cupboard and didn’t try to hide.’ She handed the toy to the child then glanced at the older woman. ‘If you could pop him on the bed then I can take a look at his knee,’ she said sotto voce.

The woman quickly complied, sighing with relief when Alfie carried on playing with the toy. ‘Thank heavens for that! I thought he would never stop screaming.’ She smiled at Bella. ‘You must have children, my dear. It’s obvious that you know just how to distract them.’

‘Sadly, no, I don’t.’

Bella smiled, trying to ignore the pang of regret that pierced her heart. Having a family had always been her dearest wish, something she had assumed would happen once she had got married, but Tim had never been keen on the idea. Whenever she had broached the subject, he had brushed it aside, claiming that he had no intention of being tied down by a baby at that stage in his life. It was only after she had told him that she wanted a divorce that he had tried to persuade her to stay with promises of them starting a family, but she had refused. The last thing she’d wanted was to have a child to hold their marriage together, a sticking-plaster baby.

‘Then you should.’ Alfie’s grandmother laughed ruefully as she ruffled her grandson’s hair. ‘Oh, they’re hard work, but having children is one of life’s blessings. And there’s no doubt that you’d make a wonderful mother!’

Mac paused outside the treatment room. The door was ajar and he had heard every word. He frowned as he recalled the regret in Bella’s voice when she had explained that she didn’t have any children. Quite frankly, he couldn’t understand it. According to Tim, Bella had refused his pleas to start a family, claiming that her career came first and that having children was way down her list of priorities, but it hadn’t sounded like that, had it? It made him wonder all of a sudden if Tim had been telling him the truth.

It was the first time that Mac had considered the idea that his friend might not have been totally honest and it troubled him. He had accepted what Tim had said without question but had he been right to do so? What if Tim had tried to cast himself in a more favourable light by laying the blame on Bella? What if it hadn’t been all her fault that the marriage had failed? What if Tim had been more than partly to blame?

After all, it couldn’t have been easy for her to cope with Tim’s dependence on those painkillers. Mac had worked in a rehab unit and he knew from experience how unreasonable people could be when they were in the throes of an addiction. Bella must have been through the mill—struggling to help Tim conquer his addiction, struggling to support him even when his behaviour probably hadn’t been as good as it should have been. As he made his way to the cubicles, Mac realised that he needed to get to the bottom of what had gone on. Although Tim was his oldest friend, he owed it to Bella to ascertain the true facts. The thought that he might have misjudged her didn’t sit easily with him, quite frankly.

Mac didn’t get a chance to speak to Bella until it was almost time for him to go off duty. He was on his way to the office when he saw her coming along the corridor. She gave him a cool smile as she went to walk past, but there was no way that he was prepared to leave matters the way they were. It was too important that they got this sorted out, even though he wasn’t sure why it seemed so urgent.

‘Have you got a second?’ he asked, putting out his hand. His fingers brushed against her arm and he felt a flash of something akin to an electric current shoot through him. It was all he could do to maintain an outward show of composure when it felt as though his pulse was fizzing from the charge. ‘There’s something I need to ask you.’

‘I’m just on my way to phone the lab about some results I need,’ she said quietly. However, he heard the tremor in her voice and realised that she had felt it too, felt that surge of electricity that had passed between them.

‘Oh, right. Well, I won’t hold you up. Maybe we can meet later? You’re due a break soon, aren’t you? How about coffee in the canteen?’ he suggested, struggling to get a grip. What on earth was going on? This was Bella, Tim’s wife—OK, technically, she was Tim’s ex-wife—but it still didn’t seem right that he should be acting this way, yet he couldn’t seem to stop it.

‘Why? I don’t mean to be rude, Mac, but why do you want us to have coffee?’

She stared back at him, her green eyes searching his face in a way that made him feel more than a little uncomfortable. If he came straight out and admitted that he wanted to check if she was solely to blame for the demise of her marriage then it would hardly endear him to her, would it? He came to a swift decision.

‘Because we need to clear the air.’ He shrugged, opting for a half-truth rather than the full monty. ‘I get the impression that working with me is a strain for you, Bella, and it’s not what I want. It’s not what you want either, I expect.’

‘You’re imagining it. I don’t have a problem about working with you.’ She gave him a chilly smile. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me …’

She walked away, leaving him wishing that he hadn’t said anything. After all, he hadn’t achieved anything, probably made things even more awkward, in fact.

Mac sighed as he made his way to the office. That would teach him to poke his nose into matters that didn’t concern him. What had gone on between Tim and Bella was their business and he would be well advised to leave alone.

Bella worked straight through without even stopping for a break. Although they were busy, she could have taken a few minutes off if she’d wanted to, but she didn’t. Mac’s request to talk to her had unsettled her and she preferred to keep her mind on her patients rather than worry about it. She dealt with her final patient, a ten-year-old boy who had fallen off his bike and broken his arm. Once the X-rays had confirmed her diagnosis, she sent him to the plaster room and cleared up. Helen Robertson, one of the new F1s on the unit, grinned when Bella made her way to the nurses’ station to sign out.

‘Off home to put your feet up, are you? Or are you planning a wild night out?’

‘No chance. It’s straight home, supper and bed for me,’ Bella replied with a laugh. ‘My days of tripping the light fantastic are well and truly over!’

‘Oh, listen to her. You’d think she was in her dotage, wouldn’t you?’ Helen looked past Bella and raised her brows. ‘Maybe you can convince her that she can forgo the carpet slippers for a while longer!’

Bella glanced round to see who Helen was talking to and felt her heart lurch when she saw Mac standing behind her. She knew that he was supposed to have gone off duty several hours before and couldn’t understand what he was doing there … Unless he had stayed behind to talk to her? The thought filled her with dread. She didn’t want to talk to him about anything, neither her marriage nor what Tim had and hadn’t done. If she told Mac then she would have to face the possibility that he might not believe her and she couldn’t bear that, couldn’t stand to know that he thought she was lying.

She hurriedly signed her name in the register, adding the time of her departure. Mac was still talking to Helen, laughing at something the young doctor had said, so Bella headed for the door. It hummed open and she was outside, walking as fast as she could towards the car park. She could hear footsteps behind her and knew that Mac was following her but she didn’t slow down. He had no business harassing her this way! She had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t intend to discuss her marriage with him and he should accept that. All of a sudden anger got the better of her and she swung round.

‘Please stop! I don’t want to talk to you, so leave me alone.’

‘Why? What are you so scared about?’ He shrugged. ‘If I were in your shoes, I’d want to tell my side of the story, unless I had something to hide. Do you, Bella?’

‘No.’ She gave a bitter little laugh, unable to hide how hurt she felt at the suggestion. ‘I have nothing to hide but Tim’s told you what happened, and you obviously believe him, so what more is there to say? Why should I try to justify myself to you?’

‘Because I thought we were friends.’ He held out his hands, palms up, in a gesture of supplication that she found incredibly moving for some reason. ‘I can tell that you’re hurting and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you then that’s all I want.’

He paused. Bella had a feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind and she bit her lip because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it either. She steeled herself when he continued.

‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you, Bella. It’s as simple as that.’

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