The Doctor's Calling

He truly believed that selling the clinic and moving to the Chaparral was a step in the right direction for himself and for Laurel. In spite of what his devoted assistant thought, he had considered her in this move. After all, he wasn’t blind. He’d been watching her work herself to a weary stupor day after day, and this change in jobs would ease the load on her shoulders, too. But there simply hadn’t been any option of taking on more staff or a partner. Now he wanted that easier life for Laurel just as much as he wanted it for himself. Yet it was plain she wasn’t happy about any of this, and now he was beginning to wonder if he had the woman figured all wrong, or even worse, if he’d taken her for granted.

A loud meow at his feet drew Russ’s attention downward. A coal-black Tiffany with long hair and big green eyes was giving him a look of disgust.

“What do you want, Leo? You’ve got food in your bowl. Look right here.” Russ walked over to the automatic feeder and pointed to the mound of dry morsels. “And I’m not about to open a can of salmon for you tonight.”

The cat marched over to a nearby cabinet, sat back on his haunches and pawed at the handle. Russ cursed beneath his breath. The damn cat was spoiled and too smart for his own good. “Listen, you little black monster, you wouldn’t even be in this house if it wasn’t for Laurel. You’d be out on the streets begging—no, I take that back—you wouldn’t even be alive if she hadn’t picked you up from that cold alley. You would’ve died from distemper. Maybe you ought to be thinking how fortunate you are instead of demanding fish or liver every night.”

The cat shot him a bored look, then pawed at the door again. “You ungrateful feline,” Russ muttered at him. “Maybe when I move to the ranch I’ll just leave you behind. What do think about that?”

Even as he made the threat to Leo, he knew that no matter where he lived, the cat would always have a home with him. A year ago Laurel had arrived at work early one morning, carrying in a limp ball of black fur, its eyes and nose covered with dried infection and so weak he could barely make a faint meowing noise. His lungs were in distress, plus he was dehydrated and starved. Russ didn’t think the animal had much chance of surviving, but Laurel had begged him to try. They’d hooked him up on an IV, shot him full of antibiotics and made sure he was warm. After that there hadn’t been much left to do except wait and pray.

After two days, and a great deal of Laurel’s nursing, the cat began to improve. Eventually he recovered enough to be adopted out, and Russ had expected Laurel to be the first one to offer the feline a home. After all, she seemed crazy about the animal and she already had two dogs and three other cats. One more mouth to feed wouldn’t make that much difference. But she’d stunned him by suggesting that Russ take Leo home with him.

At first he’d laughed and scoffed at the idea. Russ didn’t have pets. He dealt with enough animals throughout the day to go home and contend with another at night. But she’d continued to hound him by arguing that Russ needed the cat and the cat needed Russ.

He didn’t know why he’d given in to her and brought the cat home. Most of the time he and Leo merely tolerated each other, but he had to admit there were times, like tonight, when Russ was glad the house wasn’t empty and there was someone here who actually needed him.

“All right, so I’m bluffing and you know it,” he muttered to Leo. “But you’re still not getting salmon. Just a few treats, that’s all. You’re getting too fat.”

He doled out a few moist morsels to the cat, then fetched his beer from the table and carried it into the den. A television sat in one corner of the long, comfortably furnished room, but he didn’t bother switching it on. The only thing he ever watched was the news and weather, and even that didn’t interest him tonight.

Monday morning. I’ll give you my answer then.

Laurel’s promise continued to haunt and shock him. All along, he’d thought she wouldn’t hesitate to follow him to his new job. Now he wasn’t so sure. What would he do if Laurel told him she didn’t want to accept the job at the Chaparral? Find another assistant to replace her?

Hell. He couldn’t replace Laurel. He knew that and he figured she knew it, too. No one else would put up with his moods and demands the way she did. No one else would devote herself to his work the way she did. And lastly, no one else at his side would feel right.

He was staring thoughtfully into the quiet shadows when Leo suddenly jumped into his lap and stared expectantly up at him.

“I don’t know, boy. Maybe I’ve made a mistake.” He placed the beer aside and stroked a hand down Leo’s arched back. “But you proved me wrong when you survived. If I’m lucky, Laurel will prove me wrong and take the job. If she refuses my offer—well, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Leo meowed as though he understood, and Russ groaned.

After the hell Brooke had put him through, he’d never dreamed he’d allow his peace of mind to hinge on another woman. But here he was, agonizing over what Laurel might or might not do.

Had he lost his mind? Or was he just beginning to realize exactly what his assistant had come to mean to him?

He was afraid to answer that.

Chapter Two

The next day, in a small apartment across town, Laurel stuffed another load of clothes into the washing machine, then picked up a portable phone from the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Since it was late in the afternoon, she hoped she’d timed the call so that Alexa Redman was finished with church services and Sunday dinner with her loved ones.

Her friend answered on the third ring and Laurel quickly apologized for interrupting her weekend.

“Don’t be silly, Laurel. I was wondering if you were ever going to return my last call.”

Laurel sighed. “Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you before now, Alexa. Work, you know. It never lets up.”

“Friends don’t have to apologize to each other for being busy,” Alexa assured her in a cheery voice. “How’s the weather there? Freezing?”

Alexa and her family lived on a ranch located near San Antonio, and from what her friend had told her, the winters there were extremely mild compared to Ruidoso and Lincoln County.

“There’s snow on the ground, but the sun is out. I paid the little neighbor boy five dollars to clear my driveway, but he left a huge drift right in the middle.”

Alexa laughed. “What do you expect for five dollars?” she teased, then went on with another, more pertinent question. “So how have you been?”

Laurel bit back a sigh. “Busy. Exhausted. Confused.”

Alexa latched onto to Laurel’s last word. “Confused about what? I hope this means you’ve finally gotten a man in your life.”

Laurel’s last date had been more than three years ago, and she’d only gone then as a favor to a friend, not because she’d been interested in the guy. She didn’t date or socialize, especially in a serious manner. She’d decided a long time ago that having a family was not for her.

Rolling her eyes, Laurel eased a hip onto one of the barstools and asked, “When would I have time for a man? And why would I want one?”

Alexa muttered an unladylike curse beneath her breath. “To have a family, that’s why!”

As always, when someone mentioned the word family, something went cold and stiff inside Laurel. Her mother had left the Stanton family years ago, while her father and brother had never really included her in their lives, especially after both of them had moved to Arizona. Laurel’s twin sister, Lainey, had died when the girls were only fourteen. But that was something she didn’t like to discuss with anyone, even Alexa.

“I have a family in Tucson, such as they are,” she said flatly. “My father and brother.”

“That’s not the sort of family I’m talking about, and you know it.”

“Look, Alexa, I didn’t call to hash out the subject of marriage with you. I’ve called to ask you about my job.”

“Your job? Don’t tell me that you’ve finally gotten enough of Doc Hollister’s taskmaster attitude?”

Laurel grimaced at the hopeful surprise in Alexa’s voice. Even though she often called Russ a devil to work for, she didn’t like hearing someone else label him. Above everything, he was a very dedicated and wonderful doctor.

“You must not know anything about Russ going to work for the Chaparral,” Laurel replied.

“What?”

“Dr. Hollister is taking a position on the Chaparral. You haven’t talked with Quint about this?”

“We’ve discussed the issue of getting a resident vet for the ranch for some time now. And I was in total agreement with my brother when he said Russ was a candidate. But I left the details of hiring up to him. He’s the expert and I trust him implicitly to pick the right person for the job.”

“Oh. Well, that right person appears to be Russ.”

“Hmm. That’s great news.”

“Great news?” Laurel quickly blurted the question. “You just called the man a taskmaster.”

“Yes. But I couldn’t count the times you’ve told me how wonderful he is with animals. That’s the kind of vet the Chaparral needs, and clearly my brother thinks so, too.” After a thoughtful pause, she went on, “Oh, I see where you’re going with this now. The clinic. He’ll no longer be running it.”

Laurel felt sick with uncertainty. “He’s selling the place. A new vet is taking over soon—a Dr. Brennan from Alamogordo.”

“So you’ll be working for this new person?”

Closing her eyes, Laurel stuttered, “I—uh—no. I don’t think so. Russ seems to think the man is bringing his own staff with him.”

“Oh, Laurel,” Alexa groaned. “I’m so sorry about this. I know how much you’ve poured your heart and soul into that place. Dear God, you must be devastated over this development. But surely you can get hired on at another veterinary office somewhere in or near Ruidoso.”

Laurel swallowed. “Actually, I already have a job offer. Russ wants me to accompany him to the Chaparral. He says that Quint is willing to hire me, too. When Russ first told me this I thought you’d done some finagling to get me a job. But now it’s clear that you’re not involved.”

Her friend was quiet for so long that Laurel finally asked, “Are you still there, Alexa?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking what a smart brother I have.”

“But Alexa, I’m not sure about any of this! Russ says the ranch will supply my housing. Can you imagine me living all the way out there? In the wilds?”

Alexa chuckled. “Why not? It’s where I lived for years, and I turned out to be a reasonably sane person. Although Jonas might disagree about that sometimes,” she added jokingly of her husband.

As if on cue, Laurel could hear a child’s loud squeal in the background and then the tap, tap of running footsteps followed by more shouts and squeals.

“Hang on, Laurel. I’ve got to put down the phone.”

While Alexa was away from the phone, Laurel imagined her disciplining her small son and daughter with a firm but loving hand. Just the way a child should be handled, she thought, as loss and regret stabbed her deep.

Years ago, she and her twin had both dreamed and planned, like most young girls their age, of growing up and having babies of their own. But that had been before Lainey came down with a blood disease. That had been before she and her twin had been deserted by their mother and neglected by a weak-willed father. Now Lainey was dead and Laurel’s dreams of having a family of her own had died along with her.

“Sorry, Laurel,” Alexa said when she finally returned to the phone. “The kids were playing tag in the house. I shooed them outside.”

“Don’t apologize. I need to let you go.”

“Not before you tell me what you plan to do about your job.”

Laurel sighed. “I’m not sure—oh, God, Alexa, maybe I should use this opportunity to move on and work for someone else.”

After a long pause, Alexa said thoughtfully, “I couldn’t count the times you’ve told me that you’d like to wring Dr. Hollister’s neck. On the other hand, you clearly admire him. If not, you wouldn’t have worked for him this long.”

“Five years and counting,” Laurel said dully. “And now—it’s either follow him or end everything.”

Silent moments passed before Alexa finally said, “Sounds to me like you’re talking about a personal relationship instead of a working one.”

A hot flush swept over Laurel’s face and she thanked God that her friend couldn’t see her. “Look, Alexa, outside of work, Russ doesn’t know I exist.”

“You’re young and attractive,” Alexa argued. “You could change that if you wanted to.”

“That’s just the point. I don’t want to change anything. I want things to stay just as they are.”

“You have all the ingredients to be a good wife and mother. Instead you want to cling to the past, to believe you’re unworthy of anyone’s love.”

“I don’t expect you to understand what I’ve gone through with my family. And it’s too complicated to explain. But when Lainey became ill, I lost everything—even my childhood. I can’t deal with more losing. If I move on to another job, I’ll forget Russ. And in the end that would be better for both of us.”

“Would it?”

Laurel closed her eyes. “At least I’ll never be hurt.”

“You’ll never really live, either.”

“If I didn’t love you, I’d slam this phone down and never speak to you again,” Laurel said in a low, strained voice. “But I do love you. Even though you don’t understand me.”

“Okay, Laurel, let’s make this simple. Do you like working with Russ and believe your job is worthwhile?”

Laurel groaned as the conflicting emotions inside her continued to battle back and forth. “I need to decide if I’m going to move on or simply hang on?”

“Why bother?” Alexa asked with annoyance. “You’re not going to let yourself get involved, so working with Dr. Hollister is the safest place you can be.”

Safe? Laurel never felt safe when she was around Russ. He was a constant pull on her heartstrings, a constant reminder of how lonely she’d become. “That’s so crazy it almost makes sense.”

Alexa chuckled. “Grandfather Abe gave me my brains. But don’t tell him I said so.”

Later, after the two women had said goodbye, Laurel walked to her bedroom where a photo of her and Lainey sat on a dressing table. The two girls were standing in front of the family Christmas tree, dressed identically in jeans and red sweaters, with reindeer antlers on their heads. They were hugging each other close, their smiles full of childish, ten-year-olds’ giggles.

At that time, the two girls had been happy, normal sisters, swapping clothes and whispering about boys. Four years later, Lainey’s death had shattered Laurel’s world, and for years afterward, she’d believed she would never feel much about anything or anyone. She’d finished high school, gone through college and even tried to date and pretend to have all the basic needs and wants of a normal young woman. But she’d only been going through the motions. Then she’d gone to work for Russ, and slowly everything began to change. She’d began to feel again, to want and dream again. But along with those wonderful feelings had come doubts and fears.

Oh, Lainey. If you were here now, maybe I would be a stronger woman. Maybe I’d have the courage and confidence to reach out for the things my heart really longs for.

Her heart heavy, she set the frame back on the dresser as Alexa’s words whispered through her thoughts.

Working with Dr. Hollister is the safest place you can be.

Maybe that was why being with him was the only place she wanted to be, Laurel thought dismally. Because there wasn’t any danger of him asking her to be a wife or mother.

Early Monday morning when Russ parked his truck behind the clinic, gray winter clouds were shrouding the nearby mountains and a north wind rattled the bare limbs on the lone aspen standing next to the brick building. Several yards away, near one of the holding pens, Laurel’s truck was already parked and, though she always arrived early, she was never this early.

Grabbing up a bag of medical tools from the passenger seat, he departed the truck and quickly entered the building. Inside, the scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted down the hallway from the tiny room they used as a kitchen. Russ strode straight toward the smell, while glancing first one way and then the other at the open doorways of the examining rooms.

He eventually found Laurel in the recovery room, checking on a German shepherd he’d operated on Friday evening for a broken leg. The moment she heard his footsteps, she glanced around and smiled.

No matter what was going on, she always started the day by giving him a smile, and although he’d never told her so, the sight always lifted his spirits. She was a distant sort of woman who didn’t invite much personal exchange with him or anyone. When he’d first hired her, he’d believed her attitude was reserved only for him, but over the years, he’d come to see that she was an extremely private person. Oddly, though, when it came to work, she was more than quick to spar words with him.

Along with her smile, Russ liked the fact that she wasn’t afraid to stand up to him, no matter what he threw at her. But he’d never told her that, either. Russ figured after five years she should know he appreciated her work. Otherwise he would have replaced her long ago. Now he feared he’d been lax about letting her know that he needed her.

“Good morning,” she greeted him.

“Morning,” he replied as he moved across the room to where she stood by the shepherd’s cage.

“How is she?” he asked while inclining his head toward the dog.

“I’m impressed. She’s already eaten everything I’ve given her and drunk her water. And when I first walked in, I found her standing.”

He nodded with approval. “I could see a spark of survival in her eyes yesterday. She’s going to do just fine.”

Laurel gave the dog one last pat on the head, then carefully secured the door on the cage. As she turned to move away, Russ caught the fresh, sweet fragrance she always wore. The woman rarely bothered to put lipstick or any other color on her face, but she always smelled very feminine.

Now, why in heck had that sort of thing entered his mind this morning? he wondered. He thought of Laurel as his helper and friend who just happened to be female, and nothing more. That’s how, after all these years, he’d made sure their working relationship stayed strong.

“If you’re hungry, there are breakfast tacos in the kitchen. And I just brewed a pot of coffee.”

Russ started to tell her he’d already eaten, but she walked out of the room before he had a chance to speak, leaving him little choice but to follow her. Damn it, what was she doing, trying to make him sweat for her decision?

Down the narrow hallway, he saw her duck into the tiny kitchen and by the time he entered the room, she was already pouring herself a mug of coffee.

“Have you forgotten something?” he asked as he rested a hip on a tiny wooden table pushed against one wall.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, and the innocent arch of her brows made him want to let out a frustrated groan.

“Was I supposed to bring something to work with me this morning?”

Russ was doing his best to remain cool, even though he was nervous and worried. Which was a hell of an admission for him. Nothing ever unnerved him and he’d long ago learned that worrying was a waste of time and effort. Yet this uncertainty with Laurel had him behaving completely out of character. “Come on, Laurel, you know that I’m waiting for your answer about the job.”

She plopped two cubes of sugar into her coffee mug and stirred. “All right. But before I give it to you, I want to know about Maccoy. Friday night when we were discussing this, I forgot to ask about him. What’s going to happen to his job?”

Maccoy acted as the receptionist/bookkeeper and also kept all medications stocked and accounted for. In his seventies now, he’d once been a saddle bronc rider on the rodeo circuit, but a horrific spill toward the end of his career had broken his back and left him limping on his left leg. But the handicap was nothing to Maccoy. He could still work circles around three men.

“You needn’t worry about Maccoy. He draws a disability check.”

Outraged, she let out a loud gasp. “You know that Maccoy is a man that wants to be productive. He wants to work!”

He gave her a wry little grin. “I’m only kidding. I called him yesterday. Maccoy is going to the ranch, along with me. He’s very happy about it, too, I might add. He’ll be living in the bunkhouse with a few of the single ranch hands, so he’ll have company at night and he can cut out the high rent he pays now.”

She looked at him through long, dark lashes. It wasn’t often that he teased or joked. Apparently, just the thought of this new job had lifted his spirits. “So he’ll still be working with us?”

Russ nodded. “That’s right. Doing the same thing he’s doing now, except he won’t have to answer the phone a jillion times a day to deal with appointments and hysterical pet owners.”

She outwardly sighed. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

“You were actually worried about him?”

Frowning now, she said, “Why wouldn’t I be concerned? I’ve worked with him all these years. I’m fond of the old man.”

“You’ve worked with me for years, too. But you hardly seem concerned for me.” Now, why the hell had he made that remark? He didn’t want Laurel’s care or attention. He just wanted her excellent work as an assistant.

She actually laughed. “Russ, I think you’re a man who’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”

He always had, he thought grimly. From the time he’d been a young teenager, he’d pretty much had to scrape for himself. Once his mother and father had divorced, his father, Curt, had left for parts unknown. Nanette, his mother, God bless her soul, had done the best she could to care for herself and her young son. But about the time of Russ’s seventeenth birthday, she’d developed cancer and without the funds for proper treatment and the support of family, she’d succumbed quickly to the disease. After that, Russ had gone to live with Nanette’s brother, who’d lived in Albuquerque at the time. But Russ’s uncle had been a bachelor, who’d been far more comfortable nursing a cheap bottle of wine than dealing with a teenage boy.

As a result, Russ had learned a guy had to take care of himself. No one else was going to do it for him, much less do it the right way. Before his mother had died, Russ had promised her he would continue his quest to be a veterinarian, and once she was gone, he was even more determined to achieve the goal.

With the help of scholarships for good grades, he’d worked his way through college. Then after he’d finally earned his license to practice veterinary medicine, he’d slowly paid off all his debts and eventually purchased this clinic near the racetrack in Ruidoso. Hollister Animal Clinic had given him a more than nice living; he had earned a great living. But the workload was staggering and the money not worth the toll it was taking on him physically and mentally.

“You’re right, I can take care of myself. But I do need an assistant. What’s your decision?”

Breaking eye contact with him, she turned back to the coffeepot. “I’ll be going with you. After all these years, I know what you want and expect. Another vet would probably do everything differently and I’d have to learn all over again. And I don’t like changes,” she reasoned.

He stared at her back and wondered if anything else had persuaded her to follow him to the Chaparral. Such as the fact that she might actually enjoy working with him. But that was hardly an important factor, and he didn’t know why the idea had even entered his mind. It should be enough that she was going to continue to work for him.

“Good,” he said. “I hope you’ll be happy with your decision.”

That brought her head around, and she stared at him with skeptical amusement. “Since when has the word happy ever entered your mind? Much less your vocabulary?” she asked.