The Girl Wanted: A Book of Friendly Thoughts

A LOST DAYCount that day truly worse than lostYou might have made divine,Through which you sprinkled bits of frostBut never a speck of shine.

"At the end of life," says Hugh Black, "we shall not be asked how much pleasure Follow your honest convictions and be strong. – Thackeray. we had in it, but how much service we gave in it; not how full it was of success, but how full it was of sacrifice; not how happy we were, but how helpful we were; not how ambition was gratified, but how love was served. Life is judged by love; and love is known by her fruits."

The every-day virtues include very many fine little traits that serve unconsciously to make our paths smoother, Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly. – Publius Syrus. our skies bluer and all of life more glad and golden. They constitute a habit of doing the right thing at all times and so quietly and unostentatiously that no one is made to feel any sense of obligation. One who possesses these virtues does not wait for stated times and occasions to bestow evidences of love and good will upon others, but like a flower in bloom spreads the fine perfume of friendship upon all who come within the charmed presence. Intuitively and unconsciously Economy is of itself a great revenue. – Comtelburo. does the owner of these virtues follow the precept set forth by the philosopher: "I shall pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me Grace is the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul. – Hazlitt. not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." And in expressing the same sentiment Amiel says: "Do not wait to be just or pitiful or demonstrative towards those we love until they or we are struck down by illness or threatened with death. Life is short, Pull on the oar and not on your influential friends. – A. E. Winship. and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh! be swift to love, make haste to be kind!" We should not wait till some sad experience has taught us the rare privilege we may now own of offering Our grand business undoubtedly is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. – Carlyle.

A ROSE TO THE LIVINGA rose to the living is moreThan sumptuous wreaths to the dead;In filling love’s infinite store;A rose to the living is more,If graciously given beforeThe hungering spirit is fled, —A rose to the living is moreThan sumptuous wreaths to the dead.

Of all the homely virtues there is none more to be commended and desired than The noblest mind the best contentment hath. – Spenser. patience. This priceless quality of mind puts its possessor into friendly relations with whatever the surrounding conditions may chance to be. There is no irritation, no clash of interests, no lack of organization for performing to the best of one’s ability the duties of the moment, as they present themselves for consideration. Nothing is so conducive to success as to be able, calmly and patiently, to do to the best of one’s ability the tasks that present themselves. "Success in life," says one of our students of the world’s The man who has begun to live more seriously within, begins to live more simply without. – Phillips Brooks. problems, "depends far more upon the decision of character than upon the possession of what is called genius. The man who is perpetually hesitating as to which of two things he will do, will do neither." On the other hand the man who hastily and impatiently disposes of the problems that confront him also impairs his chances for making the best of life.

To be usefully and hopefully employed is one of the great secrets of happiness. – Smiles. Have you ever experienced the sorry realization of how one petulant or peevish member of a household can destroy the happiness of a breakfast or dinner Everything in this world depends upon will. – Disraeli. hour? What would otherwise have been a pleasant coming together of kindly congenial spirits is made painful and unprofitable because some one lacked the patience and forbearance to withstand and to surmount some little trial or irritation that should have been promptly dismissed from the mind and the heart, or better still, which never should have been permitted to enter. As has been truly observed, membership in the family involves the recognition that A man is valued according to his own estimate of himself. – Comtelburo. the normal life of the individual is to be found only in a perfect union with other members; in regard for their rights; in deference to their wishes; and in devotion to that common interest in which each member shares. Each member All men wish to have truth on their side; but few to be on the side of truth. – Whately. must live for the sake of the whole family. "Children owe to their parents obedience, and such service as they are able to render," says Dr. DeWitt Hyde. "Parents, on the other hand, owe to children support, training, and an education sufficient to give them a fair start in life. Mightier than all the world, the clasp of one small hand upon the heart. – John Townsend Trowbridge. Brothers and sisters owe to each other mutual helpfulness and protection."

The patient disposition to do the best one can, this day, this hour, this very moment, counts for much in the building of a life. How perfectly is its whole purpose set forth in Channing’s "Symphony," in which he so beautifully makes known his heart’s desire: "To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never. In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony."

The truest wisdom is a resolute determination. – Napoleon. It is this rare sense of poise, this patient regard for our own happiness and that of others, that enables some sweet spirits to come as a balm for all the Character must stand behind and back up everything – the sermon, the poem, the picture, the play. None of them is worth a straw without it. – J. G. Holland. bruises that a busy world can put upon us. "There is no joy but calm." Until one has learned to do his work pleasantly and agreeably he has not mastered the most important part of his lesson. "Blessed is the man who finds joy in his work." He will succeed where the complaining, discontented person will be almost sure to fail. So, let us cultivate this The question every morning is not how to do the gainful thing, but how to do the just thing. – John Ruskin. one of the chiefest of our every-day virtues. It will enable us to give to every moment the proper regard for its value and of the possibilities it offers for achievement. It will teach us that during every day, every hour, every moment, there is time for politeness, for Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery. – Matthew Arnold. kindness, for gentleness, for the display of strength and tenderness and high purpose, and for the exercise of that degree of patience that does so much to make life big and broad and beautiful in

THIS BUSY WORLDIt is a very busy world in which we mortals meet,There are so many weary hands, so many tired feet;So many, many tasks are born with every morning’s sun.And though we labor with a will the work seems never done.

I hate a thing done by halves. If it be right, do it boldly; if it be wrong, leave it undone. – Gilpin.

And yet for every moment’s task there comes a moment’s time:The burden and the strength to bear are like a perfect rhyme.The heart makes strong the honest hand, the will seeks out the way,Nor must we do to-morrow’s work, nor yesterday’s, to-day.We scale the mountain’s rugged side, not at one mighty leap,But step by step and breath by breath we climb the lofty steep.

What we need most is not so much to realize the ideal as to idealize the real. – F. H. Hedge.

Each simple duty comes alone our willing strength to try;One little moment at a time and so the days go by.With strength to lift and heart to hope, we strive from sun to sun,A little here, a little there, and all our tasks are done;There’s time to toil and time to sing and time for us to play,Nor must we do to-morrow’s work, nor yesterday’s, to-day.

CHAPTER V

THE VALUE OF SUNSHINE

Kind words are worth much and they cost little. – Proverb. Do people like you?

Are your girl playmates and classmates fond of your society? Are they eager to work with you, play with you, go strolling or sit by the fire with you? The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.

This one fact we must know; if we are not liked it must be because we are not the possessors of that fine quality known as "likableness." And if those who have had an opportunity to know us and our traits of character do not love and To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being. – Lord Avebury. admire us, it is we and not they who are responsible for their state of mind. For as sure as the warm sunshine attracts the flowers, and the fragrant flowers call the attention of the bee to their store of honey, so a fine likable character is certain to gain and to hold the admiration of good friends and true.

Always laugh when you can; it is a cheap medicine. Merriment is a philosophy not well understood. It is the sunny side of existence. – Byron. The face full of sunshine, the heart full of hope, the lips that are speaking pleasant words of good cheer and joyous faith in the world, will attract friends about them as certainly as the magnetic pole attracts the needle.

The girl who goes among the people with smiles to offer will find very many ready to receive her gracious gifts, but if she carries with her sighs and frowns, Happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of all health. – Amiel. instead, she will learn that the world wants none of them.

We all love to hear pleasant things. The one who tells us that he thinks it is going to set in for a long rainy spell of weather is of less worth to us than the one who says he thinks that the clouds are going to clear away and that we shall have a beautiful day to-morrow.

The grandsire who tells his young friends that they ought to be glad that the grandest, brightest and best era in the world’s history is just before them, does much more to inspire them than does the one who tells them that the Not in the clamour of the crowded streets, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves are triumph and defeat. – Longfellow. best days of the world were "the good old days of long ago," and that the golden age will never return again. Brooke Herford tells us: "There are some people who ride all through the journey of life with their backs to the horse’s head.

They are always looking into the past. All the worth of things is there. They are forever talking about the good old times, and how different things were when A man should always keep learning something – "always," as Arnold said, "keep the stream running" – whereas most people let it stagnate about middle life. – Anonymous. they were young. There is no romance in the world now, and no heroism. The very winters and summers are nothing to what they used to be; in fact, life is altogether on a small, commonplace scale. Now that is a miserable sort of thing; it brings a sort of paralyzing chill over the life, and petrifies the natural spring of joy that should ever be leaping up to meet the fresh new mercies that A smile passes current in every country as a mark of distinction. – Joe Mitchell Chapple. the days keep bringing."

Know then, my young friends, that the best time that ever was is the present time, if you will but use it aright. It is full of romance, of heroism, of The thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns. – Tennyson. splendid opportunity, of all that goes to constitute experience and to develop character. There never was a time when there were more good things to be done, or when greater rewards awaited the doers of them. The summers are just as long and bright and golden; the roses blossom just as numerously and as sweetly; human hearts are just as warm and kindly, No man ever sunk under the burden of the day. It is when to-morrow’s burden is added to the burden of to-day that the burden is more than a man can bear. – George MacDonald. as they have been at any time in the world’s history. Emerson says: "One of the illusions is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the whole year."

So then as far as the time and the hour are concerned, there is nothing in Though sorrow must come, where is the advantage of rushing to meet it? It will be time enough to grieve when it comes; meanwhile, hope for better things. – Seneca. our surroundings to make us morose or gloomy or dispirited or indifferent regarding the influence we are exerting upon those around us. There is no obvious reason why we should not be joyous and happy at the prospect before us. We should have not only grace enough for our own personal needs, but plenty of it to spare for those not so gladly born as ourselves.

And rich beyond computation is the one who has joyousness to spare. Better All my old opinions were only stages on the way to the one I now hold, as itself is only a stage on the way to something else. – R. L. Stevenson. than gold, better than food and raiment and all material things, betimes, is a ray of sunshine from the heart, an uplift of saving humor from a merry tongue. "I have often felt, myself," says Benson, "that the time has come to raise another figure to the hierarchy of Christian graces. Faith, Hope and Charity were sufficient in a more elementary and barbarous age, but, now that the world has Hasten slowly, and, without losing heart, put your work twenty times upon the anvil. – Boileau. broadened somewhat, I think an addition to the trio is demanded. A man may be faithful, hopeful, and charitable, and yet leave much to be desired. He may be useful, no doubt, with that equipment, but he may also be both tiresome and even absurd. The fourth quality that I should like to see raised to the highest rank among the Christian graces is the Grace of Humor."

Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control – these three alone lead life to sovereign power. – Tennyson. Splendidly blest is that household that is so fortunate as to possess at least one member gifted with the grace of good humor. One such person in a home is enough if there cannot be more. Just when all the others are seriously It is curious to what an extent our happiness or unhappiness depends upon the manner in which we view things. – E. C. Burke. confronting what seems to be a most sad and serious condition of affairs how just one word of illuminating good humor can change the whole point of view and send the foreboding proposition glimmering into nothingness. "Do you know, my dear," says Mrs. Holden, "that there is absolutely nothing that will help you to bear the ills of life so well as a good laugh? Laugh all you can and the small Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth. – Joubert. imps in blue who love to preempt their quarters in a human heart will scatter away like owls before the music of flutes.

There are few of the minor difficulties and annoyances that will not dissipate at the charge of the nonsense brigade. If the clothes line breaks, if the cat tips over the milk and the dog elopes with the roast, if the children fall into the mud simultaneously with the advent of clean aprons, if the new Truth is tough; it will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening. – Oliver Wendell Holmes. girl quits in the middle of housecleaning, and though you search the earth with candles you find none to take her place, if the neighbor you have trusted goes back on you and decides to keep chickens, if the chariot wheels of the uninvited guest draw near when you are out of provender, and the gaping of your empty purse is like the unfilled mouth of a young robin, take courage if you have Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices. – Emerson. enough sunshine in your heart, to keep the laugh on your lips. Before good nature, half the cares of daily living will fly away like midges before the wind. Try it."

What a world of inspiration and cheerfulness in the motto written by Edward Everett Hale for the Lend-A-Hand Society: "Look up, and not down; look forward, and not back; look out, and not in; and lend a hand." It is the lifting of the The aids to noble life are all within. – Matthew Arnold. burden from another’s tired shoulder that does most to lighten the load resting on our own.

No one who truly is conscious of the value of sunshine upon his own nature Nothing is difficult; it is only we who are indolent. – B. R. Haydon. and upon the spirits of those with whom he comes into contact will ever, for one minute, permit himself to be taken possession of by

THE "BLUES""Blues" are the sorry calms that comeTo make our spirits mope,And steal the breeze of promise fromThe shining sails of hope.

It is a serious thing that we should see the full beauty of our lives only when they are passed or in visions of a possible future. What we most need is to see and feel the beauty and joy of to-day. – Maurice D. Conway. Margaret E. Sangster, who is the kind and gracious foster mother to all the girls of her time and generation, says that "being in bondage to the blues is precisely like being lost in a London fog. The latter is thick and black and obliterates familiar landmarks. A man may be within a few doors of his home, yet grope hopelessly through the murk to find the well-worn threshold. A person Let us enjoy the scenery of the present moment. The landscape around the bend will still be there when our life-train arrives. – Horatio W. Dresser. under the tyranny of the blues is temporarily unable to adjust life to its usual limitations. He or she cannot see an inch beyond the dreadful present. Everything looks dark and forbidding, and despair with an iron clutch pins its victim down. People think, loosely, that trials that may be weighed and measured and felt and handled are the worst trials to which flesh is If we cannot get what we like let us try to like what we can get. – Spanish Proverb. heir. But they are mistaken. Hearts are elastic, and real sorrows seldom crush them. Souls have in them a wonderful capacity for recovering after knockdown blows. It is the intangible, the thing that one dreads vaguely, that catches one in the dark, that suggests and intimates a peril that is spiritual rather than mortal; it is the burden that carries dismay and terror to the imagination."

Men continually forget that happiness is a condition of the mind and not a disposition of circumstances. – Lecky. A single member of a household who is given to having "the blues" often darkens a home that would otherwise be bright and sunny. Such an unfortunate person should bear in mind that when a servant is employed the whole household Delicacy in woman is strength. – Lichtenberg. expects her to be kind, tidy, industrious, moral, gentle, and, above all, good natured in her attitude toward all. Surely the daughter of a household cannot wish to feel that she holds her position by accident of birth, and that if her family were not compelled to keep her they would not. If you would know the political and moral condition of a people, ask as to the condition of its women. – Aime Martin.

Charles Dickens says: "It is not possible to know how far the influence of any amiable, honest-hearted, duty-doing man flows out into the world." A bright, cheerful, sunshiny daughter in a home can never know how great is her influence for making the little household world holier and happier for all whose life Who has not experienced how, on nearer acquaintance, plainness becomes beautified, and beauty loses its charm, according to the quality of the heart and mind. – Fredrika Bremer. interests are centered therein. Hamilton Wright Mabie says: "The day is dark only when the mind is dark; all weathers are pleasant when the heart is at rest." Bliss Carman observes that "happiness, perhaps, comes by the grace of Heaven, but the wearing of a happy countenance, the preserving of a happy mien, is a duty, not a blessing." This thought that it is one’s duty to be happy Her voice was ever soft, gentle and low, – an excellent thing in woman. – Shakespeare. is set forth still more forcibly by Lilian Whiting: "No one has any more right to go about unhappy than he has to go about ill-bred."

The girl with sunshine in her thoughts and sunshine in her eyes will find Gentleness, cheerfulness, and urbanity are the Three Graces of manners. – Marguerite de Valois. sunshine everywhere. Wherever she may go her gracious presence will light the way and make her every path more smooth and beautiful. In the home, in the school, amid whatever conditions surround her, she will shine with the glow of a rose in bloom. She will see the good and the beautiful in the persons whom she meets; while all the charms of nature, as portrayed in field and forest, will be to her a never-ending source of interest and enjoyment. Above all, she will warmly cherish life and look upon To have what we want is riches, but to be able to do without is power. – George MacDonald. it as being crowded with priceless opportunities for obtaining happiness for herself and for others. She will be filled with the same exhuberant spirit of joy in the mere fact of her being that Mrs. Holden so happily sets forth: "I love this world. I never walk out in the morning when all its radiant colors are newly washed with dew, or at splendid noon, when, like an untired racer, the sun has flashed around his mid-day course, or at evening, when a fringe of a shadow, A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone. – Thoreau. like the lash of a weary eye, droops over mountain and valley and sea, or in the majestic pomp of night when stars swarm together like bees, and the moon clears its way through the golden fields as a sickle through the ripened wheat, that I do not hug myself for very joy that I am yet alive. What matter if I am poor and unsheltered and costumeless?

In truth, how could I feel this gladness now had I not known the bitterness of woe. – Alicia K. Van Buren. Thank God, I am yet alive! People who tire of this world before they are seventy and pretend that they are ready to leave it, are either crazy or stuck as full of bodily ailments as a cushion is of pins. The happy, the warm-blooded, the sunny-natured and the loving cling to life as petals cling to the calyx of a Of all the joys we can bring into our own lives there is none so joyous as that which comes to us as the result of caring for others and brightening sad lives. – E. C. Burke. budding rose. By and by, when the rose is over-ripe, or when the frosts come and the November winds are trumpeting through all the leafless spaces of the woods, will be time to die. It is no time now, while there is a dark space left on earth that love can brighten, while there is a human lot to be alleviated by a smile, or a burden to be lifted with a sympathizing tear."

We all understand that it is not so difficult for us to be bright and smiling and gracious toward everyone when there is naught to disturb the serenity of our Human improvement is from within outward. – Froude. thoughts, and when nothing happens to interfere with the fulfillment of our wishes. But when things go "at sixes and sevens," when our dearest purposes are thwarted, when some one is about to gain the place or prize which we covet, when we are forced to stay within doors when we very much prefer to go in the fields; then it requires more of character, more of strength, more of the true spirit of sacrifice to wear a smiling face and to maintain a cheerful heart. But instead of fleeing from the Cheerfulness and content are great beautifiers, and are famous preservers of good looks. – Dickens. petty trials that cross our paths we should welcome them as opportunities for testing and strengthening our good purposes. Newcomb tells us: "Disappointment should always be taken as a stimulant, and never viewed as a discouragement." To the sunshiny, philosophical person, trials and difficulties but serve to help him to develop into