A Princess In Waiting

But when she stood on the flagstone path that led to the formal gardens of the palace, her nerves almost failed her. The figures in the garden, women in flowered dresses, men in black tie, the rows of willow trees planted hundreds of years ago and the vibrant green of the sweeping lawn looked like a painting. A painting that was beautiful to observe, but not to be a part of.

But she had no choice. Her sisters Ariane and Marie-Claire spotted her and came rushing across the vast lawn to hug her and demand to know how she was and where she’d been. She felt a surge of love for the two people she cared most about in the world. Being deserted by their mother and largely ignored by their father, the three of them had been exceptionally close growing up together. It was so good to see them again, her eyes filled with happy tears.

“I’ve missed you both so much,” she said. “I’m so glad you’re both here.”

“As if we could miss the queen’s birthday. But honestly, we came to see you,” Ariane said, squeezing her hand. “You don’t look as though you’re pregnant.” She dropped her hand and walked around her sister, looking at her from all angles and beaming her approval.

“Doesn’t she look wonderful?” Marie-Claire enthused. “You were the first to marry, and the first to get pregnant.”

“And the first to get divorced,” Lise said lightly.

Marie-Claire frowned. Divorce was nothing new in the family. Still, Lise’s situation was especially painful for her sisters to accept. “How are you, really?” she asked. “I can’t believe that horrible Wilhelm divorced you.”

“Believe it,” Lise said soberly. “And believe that it’s for the best. I’m so happy it’s over, and I’m back where I belong.” As she said the words she realized she was back where she belonged. Despite the fact that the country’s future was up in the air and that she had no real place to call home, St. Michel was where she belonged. The three princesses stopped at the edge of the formal English gardens and surveyed the scene. The murmur of polite voices, the burble of the fountains, the soft music from a string quartet came wafting across the ancient stone walkways.

“I think everyone agrees,” Ariane said with a glance in the direction of the dowager queen who was seated in a chair that was not quite a throne, but close to it, surrounded by loyal sycophants, “she knows how to celebrate her birthday.”

“How does she treat you?” Marie-Claire asked Lise.

Lise shrugged. “As well as can be expected. I have the run of the palace archives and the attics. I come and go as I please and she doesn’t stop me. I’m working on some interesting restoration projects. And of course she’s given me the use of the cottage. Me and Nanny. Other than that, she pays no attention to me. So I can’t complain.”

“You never did,” Ariane said. “You haven’t even said a bad word about Wilhelm.”

Lise held a finger up to her lips. “Not here I won’t. I’m doing my best to put the past in the past.”

“She’s amazing,” Ariane said to Marie-Claire. “I told you we wouldn’t get a word of complaint out of her. If my husband had…”

“But he didn’t. How is Etienne?” Lise asked, anxious to change the subject.

“See for yourself. Here he is now.”

Lise felt slightly nervous seeing her brother-in-law, a Rhinelander prince, not knowing what or how he felt about her divorce from Wilhelm. But Etienne greeted her warmly and her fears were dispelled. Whatever he’d heard, he obviously had no hard feelings against her, and Lise was relieved. She could see immediately how happy the young recently married couple was. She stifled a pang of envy. When Marie-Claire’s husband, Sebastian, joined them she knew she had no worries on that side either. Neither sister had made the kind of mistake she had. Sebastian was charming and clearly adored her sister. No, she was the only one who’d made the wrong choice of a husband.

Admittedly the choice had not been hers. It had been her father’s. But, as she’d told Charles, she could have protested more strongly. When the men left the sisters to refill their champagne glasses, the three women found seats under a magnificent oak tree on the edge of the garden. Ariane turned to look at Lise again and regarded her sister carefully.

“How do you feel?” Ariane asked with concern. “You look sensational, by the way. Pregnancy agrees with you. Don’t you think, Marie-Claire? I don’t remember that dress. How is my niece-or nephew-to-be doing?”

Before Lise could answer, Marie-Claire leaned forward and asked under her breath, “Where is Wilhelm?”

“I hear he’s in America, but I really don’t know,” Lise said. And prayed that was the end of that discussion.

“What are your plans?” Marie-Claire asked. “We’ve missed you so much. I hope you’ll never leave here again. Ariane has moved way over to Rhineland, but that can’t be helped. Now that I’m back from my honeymoon, I want us to get together as much as possible. Is that clear?”

“All clear,” Lise said with a smile. “As usual, you two have asked so many questions I don’t know where to start. And you’ve scarcely given me a chance to say a word. I’m fine and I’ve been right here, in the gardener’s cottage where I plan to remain as long as the powers on the throne are willing,” Lise said. “I wrote you both, but our paths haven’t crossed lately. With both of you married, I didn’t expect to see as much of you. But here we are, together again. Now, tell me, besides honeymooning, what have you two been up to?” Lise asked, deftly switching the subject from herself to them.

“We arrived only yesterday from Rhineland,” Ariane said. “For the party—and to see you, of course—then we’re off again on a business trip.”

“I suppose there are rumors in Rhineland,” Lise suggested hesitantly. She didn’t really want to know about any rumors having to do with her.

“Of course, what would life be like without rumors?” Ariane said lightly. “Rumors about a takeover of St. Michel, about a missing heir to the throne. These are nothing new. But rumors concerning you? Believe me, no one would dare say a word against my sister in my presence.”

Lise nodded gratefully. What else would she expect from her little newly-wed sister?

“Speaking of rumors,” Marie-Claire said, looking over her shoulder to be sure she couldn’t be overheard. “What’s this I hear about Charles Rodin?”

Lise felt her cheeks burn. “I…I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything.”

“Are you sure?” Marie-Claire persisted. “Are you sure you haven’t seen him?”

“Seen him? Yes, I saw him. He came to pay his respects.”

“Is that all he paid?” Marie-Claire asked. “I thought maybe he asked you to marry him.”

“Why would you think that?” Lise asked, startled. “Don’t tell me it’s on the Internet,” she said, in an attempt at levity. But she should have known she couldn’t fool her sisters.

“Oh no. It’s more like ESP or just common sense. He’s available, you’re available. You know, he’s nothing like his brother. That’s what everyone says,” Marie-Claire said. “So if he did ask you to marry him…”

“I would refuse, of course,” Lise said firmly.

“But why?” Ariane asked. “You mustn’t let Wilhelm put you off marriage forever. You just heard, Charles is nothing like his brother.”

“I don’t know that for sure. I don’t know anything about him. I met the man once at my wedding. Then he stopped by to see me. We had a nice conversation, but that’s hardly the basis for getting married again. They’re twins. How different can they be?” Lise asked. But in her heart she knew they were as different as night and day.

“What about the baby?” Marie-Claire asked softly, her green eyes wide. “Don’t you want a father for your baby?”

“Of course I do. But there are more important things. Like a warm, loving home. I think a child is better off with one good parent than with two parents who are at odds with each other. The three of us know a little bit about that.”

Her sisters nodded in agreement. There was a long moment of silence while they were each lost in their own thoughts.

“But what about security?” Ariane asked.

“I guess you mean financial security,” Lise said. “That’s a worry, of course. I still have the jewels mother left us. I can always sell them if it comes to that. But I’ll tell you this. I’d rather live in the most humble cottage with Nanny and my baby than the biggest palace with a man I didn’t love.”

“You mean you couldn’t love Charles?” Ariane asked. “He’s really very nice. Nothing like his brother. Except in looks, of course. They’re both handsome devils.”

Lise sighed. As if looks mattered. “When I was your age, Ariane, and young and naive, I might have fallen in love again and jumped into another marriage, but…”

“Young and naive,” Ariane sputtered. “Did you hear that, Marie-Claire? I’m an old married woman now and I demand to be treated with respect.” Her blue eyes twinkled and the three of them burst into laughter. The idea of Ariane as an old married woman at the age of twenty-three sent them into helpless giggles. Lise realized she hadn’t laughed for months. It was so wonderful to be with her sisters again. She’d been hungry for the warmth and affection they shared. After they’d calmed down, Lise gazed off into the distance for a long moment.

“If only life was that simple,” she said quietly. “Loving someone because they’re nice.” Even as she spoke the words, she wondered if she’d know love when she found it. Chills up and down the spine, goosebumps on the skin, an erratic heartbeat. What did those things mean? A heightened sexual awareness, due to living a celibate life. That was all. Love was something else entirely.

“So tell me, you two, are you both happy? Are you sure you’ve made the right choices?”

Their spontaneous bursts of joy told Lise all she needed to know. They were both deliriously happy. After breathless assurances Ariane went back to the subject of Charles.

It was clear Ariane hadn’t given up and that her goal was to see her sister as happily married as she was. “In Rhineland I heard there was hell to pay when Charles learned your belongings hadn’t been sent,” she said. “I tell you, one phone call from him and the servants dropped everything to make sure your trunks got packed and returned to you.”

“I see,” Lise said thoughtfully. “Then I have Charles to thank. Because if he hadn’t come through, you wouldn’t see me in this dress today. I’d be wearing an old bedsheet.”

“You’d look good in a bedsheet,” Marie-Claire declared with a grin. “Especially one with lace around the hem.”

“Thank you, dear sister. It won’t be long before bedsheets are the only thing that will fit me. But I haven’t been reduced to that yet. I can still squeeze into some of my trousseau dresses. Believe me, before my trunks came, I had nothing suitable for a queen’s birthday party.” She stood up. “Which reminds me, I’d better go wish her majesty a happy birthday.”

“We’ve already done our duty,” Ariane said. “We’ll see you later.”

Lise took a deep breath and set out down a stone walkway in her strapped sandals, her sheer voile dress brushing against her bare legs. Her sisters only wanted what was best for her and her baby. But she was tired of hearing how different Charles was from his brother. That didn’t automatically make him good husband material. If and when she ever married again, it would be for love.

Before she got to the queen, she was stopped by various old friends and acquaintances, all of them too polite to mention the scandal that had brought her back to St. Michel. She was thankful that not one mention was made of her former husband or her illegitimacy. She did receive condolences on the death of her father, for which she was grateful.

She was just congratulating herself on her poise in the face of this situation she’d been dreading, when she spotted Charles standing at the side of a fountain where white marble cherubs spouted water into a circular pond. He was wearing a dark suit and gazing at her thoughtfully across the grass. She hesitated. She didn’t want to be rude, but what was her response supposed to be? What was the protocol in greeting a man whose offer of marriage you’d recently turned down? She managed a small smile and he must have taken that as an encouraging sign, because he quickly joined her.

“I was wondering if you’d come today,” he said, his dark eyes traveling up and down her pale blue dress.

She felt slightly dizzy in his presence. His intense gaze unnerved her. When he glanced at the rounded neckline of her dress, she was conscious of her breasts swelling, of the fabric tightly stretched across the bodice and of her nipples budding. She felt the color rise to her cheeks. If only she’d kept walking. Talking to the queen would be a piece of cake compared to dealing with Charles. Yes, he was clearly the handsomest man here today. And the memory of his words hung in the air between them.

Take all the time you need…I’m not going anywhere.

“It’s a bit of a command performance,” she said, proud of her composure in the face of the man who looked so much like her ex-husband. “Being my grandmother’s birthday. But I didn’t know you…”

“She was kind enough to invite me.”

“I see,” she said. “I was just on my way to wish her a happy birthday.”

“I was hoping to have a few words with you.”

“Well, now you have,” Lise said. But she should have known she wasn’t going to get off so easily.

Charles smiled briefly at her attempt to dismiss him. “When you have a moment, won’t you join me for something to eat and drink?”

“Well, I…” she said. She knew she needed some sustenance soon if she was to continue to engage in social discourse with him or anyone. If not for herself, for her baby. She needed to eat frequently and to stay hydrated.

“You look a little pale,” he said. “I won’t keep you and I won’t distress you by bringing up anything unpleasant. I’ll be waiting at the table under the big oak.”

“Very well,” Lise said. How could she refuse? There was a look in his eyes that told her he was sincere. Her sister’s words came back to remind her.

He’s nothing like his brother.

She turned to leave then turned back. “I almost forgot to thank you for fixing my roof,” she said.

“I merely made a phone call,” he said.

“You made another to get me my trunks.”

He shrugged. “It was no trouble. If there’s anything else, please let me know. It must be difficult being a woman alone.”

“I’m not alone,” she said stiffly. “I’m surrounded by family. Not only my sisters, but my grandmother, my stepmother, stepsister…” She could have gone on and on, but the truth was that aside from her sisters, who now had their own lives, and her dear nanny, she was alone. Her grandmother cared, she knew, but Queen Simone’s priority right now was locating the missing heir.

Charles frowned at her response. “I didn’t mean to imply you were in any way helpless. Of course you have family and friends. I just meant…”

“I know what you meant,” she said, suddenly contrite. “I’m sorry I took it the wrong way. I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days. I get upset at the slightest thing. One minute I’m in tears, the next minute I’m laughing. My doctor says it’s hormones.” The concerned look on Charles’s face told her it was time to stop this conversation. She’d gone on way too long about herself and her condition. No man wanted to hear about a pregnant woman’s emotions or hormonal problems.

What was she thinking? She finally managed to murmur something about the queen and her duty and left him standing there. As she walked across the lawn she felt his gaze on her. He was probably wondering what on earth had gotten into her. Probably happy she’d turned him down. Who wants to marry an emotional basket case?

She kissed the queen on both cheeks, wished her a happy birthday and said something about how young she looked. At seventy-five, her face was unlined, and her eyes were still bright and alive with the spirit of someone half her age.

Lise retained her composure under the queen’s piercing gaze, answered her polite questions about her family, her work and her situation as best she could.

“How unfortunate it is that you’re divorced,” the queen said, tiny lines etched between her eyebrows. “Your father, if he were still alive, would be very displeased. He arranged this marriage for you with your future in mind. And now…”

Lise knew what she was going to say. And now, you have no future.

“Yes, Grandmama. Most unfortunate. But life is full of unfortunate events.” As if her grandmother didn’t know that. Everyone in the kingdom knew what she’d been through in the past fifty years—with more than one unfortunate marriage in the family. And now she was fighting to keep the country from reverting to Rhineland’s control by coming up with a missing heir. Missing because of her interference in her son’s affairs.

“What are your plans?” the old woman asked.

Plans. If only people would stop asking her about her plans. Wasn’t it enough to plan for the birth of her child? Lise smiled sweetly. “For the moment I am quite content in the cottage. I have Nanny…”

“She can’t be much help,” the dowager queen sniffed. “At her age.”

“Oh, but she is,” Lise said. “A great help.”

“And when the baby comes?”

“There’s plenty of room for the baby. The baby will fit in nicely.”

The dowager queen looked as displeased as if Lise had suggested putting the baby in a dresser drawer. “I was not referring to the square footage of the cottage,” she said stringently. “The best thing for you would be to marry again. As soon as possible. You can’t go on forever in a gardeners’ cottage. It isn’t suitable. It is most regrettable this situation has occurred.”

Lise fought off the urge to tell her to mind her own business. That another marriage was the last thing she wanted. But she knew better than to cross her grandmother. She needed all the support from the palace she could get.

“Yes, Grandmama,” she murmured.

“As you know we are searching for the missing heir to the throne. If we do not find him…” The queen broke off, but Lise knew what she was going to say.

If we do not find him, you will be without a home, money, protection from the palace, family or friends.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lise noticed that Luc Dumont, the man in charge of the St. Michel security force, whom Queen Simone had summoned to give the latest report on his search for the missing heir, was waiting for an audience with her. Lise knew anything she had to say paled in comparison to Luc’s information, so she excused herself.

All of St. Michel was consumed with this project. If the heir wasn’t found, and if Queen Celeste didn’t give birth to a boy, then Rhineland would absorb their country. As much as she hated to admit it, her grandmother had a point. Her future was uncertain. But so was her grandmother’s. In any case, that was not enough reason to consider marrying again.

With these sobering thoughts in her mind, she turned toward the ancient oak tree where Charles was waiting. From fifty meters away she knew he was looking at her. She felt the heat of his gaze even at this distance. She had an overwhelming desire to bolt. To disappear behind the palace and sneak through the servants’ entrance into the cool marble halls where she had once lived. How tempting it was to slip away into her childhood, when her father was king and her mother was queen. Before her mother had deserted them; before her father had remarried. When she didn’t have to worry about the future. When talk of weddings and royal alliances were far in the future.

She feared meeting Charles. She didn’t want to have the same conversation all over again. She knew this was not a meeting to enjoy refreshments and small talk. Charles was not the bully his brother was, but he had a determined look in his eyes that told her he hadn’t given up on her.

But she too had a determined streak. She would not let herself be talked into another disastrous marriage. No matter how many people told her it was a good idea. No matter who tried to frighten her into marrying for “security.” She squared her shoulders and walked steadily in his direction, repeating these words to herself.

Don’t give in.

You are in charge of your own life.

You are strong.

You don’t need a man in your life.

Don’t let him get to you.

You were married to his twin brother.

He only asked you out of a sense of duty. Yes, duty is important, but where marriage is concerned, next time, look for love.

You have lived as a princess. Your father was king. Royal blood flows through your veins. No one can tell you what to do.

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