The Cowboy's Secret Son

Despite his anger, he winced at the sharpness of that truth.

Grace shifted her gaze toward the stand of trees opposite where she sat. “But I didn’t when my parents literally dragged me away in the middle of the night in shame.”

He’d met her parents once, and could all too easily imagine them doing such a thing. But he didn’t want to feel sorry for her. Six years had passed since then, years in which she’d cheated him by keeping the existence of a son from him. If Evan was his. Maybe she was mistaken.

“How do you know he’s mine?”

She laughed, but it wasn’t the type of laugh born of amusement. “You’re really asking me that question?”

He crossed his arms and stared at her, every muscle in his body tense. “Yes. You show up here unannounced and tell me some boy I’ve never seen is my son, and I’m supposed to just believe that?”

Grace shifted on the bench so that she more fully faced him. “Think about it. Do you remember me having guys lining up to sleep with me back in high school?”

“I don’t know what you did. You could have met someone after you left here.”

She shook her head, and something about her expression made him feel as if she thought him the most clueless man in the world. “I pretty much lived under lock and key when I lived here, and it only got worse after we left, after my parents discovered I was pregnant. I had to sneak out a window to come to that party.”

“Why did you?”

She didn’t immediately answer. Instead, she seemed to think about it as she let her gaze fall away from him. “Because I liked you. And I thought maybe you liked me.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. The silence stretched to an uncomfortable length. He plopped the hat back on his head and shoved his hands in his jean’s pockets. “I don’t know how to react or what to say. I feel like I just got hit with a cattle prod and a stampede all at once.”

“You don’t have to do anything, at least not now.”

He glanced at her, trying to read this woman he didn’t even know anymore. Had he ever? She was no more the girl who’d helped him raise his algebra grade so he could play football than one of the fence posts around the corral. That girl had barely been able to meet his eyes, even on that night he’d made love to her.

This woman marched onto his ranch and pronounced him the father of her little cowboy wannabe.

Man, he felt as if his head was going to explode.

“What does that mean, not now?”

“I’m not looking for money, or even your help in raising him. I’m doing fine on my own.”

“Then, why tell me at all?”

“Because I’m all he has, and if something ever happens to me, I want him to have somewhere to go.”

The way she sounded as though he was nothing more than a back-up plan caused his anger to swell. “And you thought of the sperm donor?”

She gasped, and her eyes went wide. “Nathan, that’s not how I think of you.”

“It’s not?”

“No.”

“Could have fooled me. What if nothing happens to you, Grace? I get nothing? I’m just supposed to forget you dropped this little bombshell on my head?”

“Of course not.” She appeared flustered, as if she hadn’t anticipated him putting up a fuss. “I just wanted you to know.”

He looked toward the corral when he heard youthful giggles. Evan and the little pink girl were laughing, at what he couldn’t tell. “Why now? I’m assuming you didn’t just leave your parents’ house.”

“I…I just finally got up the nerve. I realized it wasn’t responsible to be a single parent and not make plans in case something happened to me.”

He shook his head and shifted his eyes back to her. “You could have called. Hell, written a letter or something.”

“I thought about it, picked up the phone I don’t know how many times.”

“And you decided just dropping by was better?”

“I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t know if I could go through with it. I almost turned around half a dozen times.”

“Good to know I could still be in the bloody dark about having a kid.”

This time, she winced. “Telling you wasn’t as easy as you obviously think it should have been.”

He shifted from one foot to the other, cursing himself for the fool he’d been that long-ago night. One more idiot kid who couldn’t keep his pants zipped. “Did I really treat you so badly that you’d keep my son from me?”

“This isn’t about you, Nathan.”

“Obviously.” He had to get away, find some air to refill his lungs. Calm the hell down. He couldn’t think when he was so close to this woman spouting words that could change his life so dramatically. When he could see the boy who might very well be the beginning of a new generation of Teagues. “I’ve got work to do.”

He stalked down the hill but didn’t head for the barn. Instead, he made for his truck. Nothing like a drive up to the more remote area of the ranch to help him untangle his thoughts.

If only he’d taken time to think seven years ago.

THAT HAD NOT GONE WELL. Grace sat on the bench, bone weary and wishing she could turn back the clock even an hour. One would think, after all the time she’d spent contemplating various ways she could tell Nathan about Evan, she’d end up doing something other than just blurting it out at the first opportunity.

She didn’t let her doubts get the better of her, tempting her into believing she’d made a mistake in telling Nathan about his son. It was the right thing to do, for many reasons, but she wished he’d stuck around longer so she could explain further. Part of her couldn’t blame him for his reaction. If she were in his spot, she had no idea how she’d react.

There was no going back now, though. She’d simply have to figure out how to progress from her clumsy start.

“Didn’t go how you’d hoped, huh?”

Grace looked up to see Laney Stuart had approached without her noticing. “I don’t know why I bothered running scenarios in my head because my brain and mouth staged a coup and abandoned them all.”

Laney sat on the bench next to Grace. “Well, at least it’s done.”

“It’s far from done. I fear it’s just the beginning.”

“Then at least you can stop imagining how he’ll react. Now you know.”

“And I feel loads better,” Grace said, her voice full of sarcasm. “I thought you were here for moral support, not stating the obvious.”

Laney squeezed Grace’s hand. “I am, sweetie. I’ll listen anytime you need to talk.”

Grace squeezed back. “It’s good to see you. It’s been too long.”

“You just miss my French toast.”

Grace managed a small laugh. “If my stomach ever calms down, I fully expect you to make me some.”

Laney leaned back with a dramatic sigh. “You only love me for my culinary skills.”

“If I remember correctly, French toast is the extent of your culinary skills.”

Laney playfully punched Grace in the arm. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, you’re right. I forgot mac and cheese—from a box.”

Laney gave Grace a narrow-eyed stare. “Tell me again why I like you, why I took a week off from work to come to the-middle-of-nowhere Texas.”

“I babysat your daughter so you could study?”

“Hmm, seems I remember doing something similar for you.”

She had indeed. Laney had been a single mom grad student trying to finish her degree and plan for a wedding to her long-distance boyfriend when she’d advertised for two roommates. Grace, along with Emily Stringer, one of Grace’s fellow interior design students and her current business partner, had answered the ad.

Grace still swore something cosmic had brought the three of them together. She’d bonded with Emily over their shared love of interior design, and with Laney over their single motherhood. Laney and Emily had similar personalities: strong, determined and quick with snappy comebacks. Considering the roommate horror stories she’d heard during her years of college, she’d won the roomie lottery.

While Evan and Cheyenne had played, Grace and her two best friends had studied, laughed, planned for their futures and shared their deepest secrets. Laney and Emily were the loving, nurturing, fun sisters her own had never been.

“It’s so good to see you,” Grace said, growing serious. “You have no idea how much it means to me to have you here.”

“I think I do. You were there for me on some of my most frightening days. And you know Emily would be here, too, if you hadn’t threatened her with bodily harm if she closed the doors.”

“I know, but our business is too new for both of us to be AWOL on the customers we do have. Plus, she’s already been there for me so many times.”

“Don’t worry about that now. Focus on what you came here to do.”

Grace sighed. “I doubt I could think about anything else for more than two seconds if I tried.”

“You’ll get through this, just like everything else.”

“I hope you’re right.” Grace took a deep breath then stood. “I better get us settled in our cabin.”

“He’ll come around. May take some time and he might be angry for a while, but he’ll get over it. And if not, I’ll be forced to kick his ass.”

Grace lifted an eyebrow. Of the three of them, Laney was by far the most girly.

“Okay, hire someone to kick his ass,” Laney admitted.

Grace leaned down and gave Laney a quick hug before walking down the slight incline toward the stables. “Evan.” When he turned at the sound of his name, she motioned for him to come to her. “Come on. We have to take our stuff to the cabin.”

“But, Mom…”

“We’ll be coming back in a bit. Now don’t argue.” Her last words came out a little sharper than she intended, so when he reached her she gave him a big smile and placed her arm lovingly around his shoulders. “I see you and Cheyenne found each other.”

He grunted in confirmation but kept staring back at the corral. “Isn’t she pretty? She ate sugar cubes right out of my hand!”

“Cheyenne?”

He looked at Grace as if she’d suddenly taken leave of her senses. “No! Eww. I was talking about Dolly, the horse.”

“Oh, of course.” Grace bit her lip to keep from laughing.

But as they got into the car and headed up the hill to the cabins, her urge to laugh faded away. When she thought about it, Evan really wasn’t that different from his father. Back when she’d known the younger version of Nathan, he’d been more wrapped up in horses and football than he had in any girl, least of all her.

As Grace pulled up in front of their cabin, she realized she’d never been inside one of them. She’d come to the ranch several times while tutoring Nathan, but they’d been confined to the dining room in the main house where Merline could watch them. That had been one of her parents’ conditions of her employment—that she and Nathan never be left alone. As if the two of them would suddenly go off and do all manner of sinful, indecent things. Little did they know their tight leash contributed to her doing the thing they most feared.

“Mom? Are you getting out?”

Grace shook off the dust of the past and realized Evan had already unbuckled himself and gotten out of the car. He stared at her through the open passenger window.

“Yeah, sweetie.” She needed to pull herself together, regroup. She’d stumbled through her initial meeting with Nathan and the big reveal, but there was no going back for a do-over.

With Evan’s help, she got their bags inside. When she dropped their biggest suitcase on the bed, she noticed Evan had climbed into a chair to look at some framed photos on the wall. She walked up behind him and immediately spotted Nathan in one of the photos, sitting astride a horse in early-morning light. His face wasn’t fully visible, probably wouldn’t even be recognizable to the casual observer, but she knew it instantly. Despite that one night together, they’d never been a couple. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t memorized every contour of his face. It’d been all she could do to not stare at him in class and when they sat across from each other during the tutoring sessions.

But that was a long time ago. A lifetime. Evan’s lifetime.

“Come on, cowboy. Let’s get unpacked so we can get back for the tour.” Yes, this trip was about ensuring Evan’s future, but for him it was supposed to be a dream vacation. And she planned to let him have exactly that. She wouldn’t allow her own issues to ruin her son’s big adventure.

“When will I be able to ride a horse?” Evan asked as he placed his clothes in one of the lower drawers.

“Probably not today.”

“Aww, man. Why not?”

“There are lots of things the cowboys have to show you first.” Like how to stay safe around those horses.

Grace shoved her instinctual worry about Evan’s safety down. There was a delicate balance between protecting him and smothering him the way Bob and Ruth Cameron had her and her siblings. And she refused to follow in their footsteps.

“You just have to take it one thing at a time, squirt,” she said. “I guarantee, you’ll like all of it.”

As they finally finished unpacking, Evan was on the verge of hopping with excitement and anticipation to get back to the main part of the ranch. Grace wondered if she’d ever possessed that sort of giddy energy. It was infectious though, and by the time they returned to the area with the barn and corrals, she was looking forward to the afternoon, too.

That anticipation faltered a bit when she spotted Nathan striding out of the barn straight toward them. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Surely he wouldn’t reveal his paternity to Evan right here in front of everyone. She started to step forward, to force him inside the barn so they could talk, but he stopped abruptly.

“Good afternoon, folks,” he said to the entire gathering. “Welcome to our first ever Cowboy Camp for Kids. If you’ve had a chance to look at your schedules, you’ll see we’ve got a lot lined up for you this week. Unless anyone has any questions, we’re going to start with a little tour.” Nathan turned without even making eye contact with Grace or glancing at Evan. “If you’ll follow me.”

Grace couldn’t help the bite of concern. Would Nathan reject Evan? She didn’t think she could bear that.

“Don’t borrow trouble,” Laney said low beside her. “Just go with the flow for now, see what happens.”

With a deep breath, Grace followed along with all the other kids and parents, hoping to make it through the afternoon’s activities. Maybe she’d find a chance to talk to Nathan more, force him to agree to her request for silence on the subject of Evan’s paternity. She refused to think about how he might react to that request. Not well if his actions so far were any indication. But she could only handle one big change at a time, and just seeing Nathan and Evan so close to each other was making her pulse jittery. Every time Nathan opened his mouth to talk about stalls or daily chores on a ranch or veterinary care for the horses, she had the unreasonable fear that he was going to reveal all to Evan.

Laney pointed her smooth, manicured hand toward where Evan and Cheyenne hung on Nathan’s every word. “Kindred spirits.”

“Yeah. Even though I don’t think Evan would admit it now.”

“At the ‘eww, girls’ stage?”

“So he says, and I’d like to keep him there for at least two decades.”

Laney shook her head, causing her pretty brunette bob to sway. “Hard to believe they once shared a playpen.”

They paused and listened as Cheyenne asked if Nathan had ever ridden in the rodeo. Grace could have answered this for him, that he’d done a few local things for fun but never seriously. At least that was the answer when she’d still lived here.

Laney shook her head. “I wondered how long it would be before she got to a rodeo question.”

“Still likes rodeo?” Grace asked as they moved out of the barn and into one of the corrals where Dolly and another horse stood saddled.

“So much so you’d swear she was raised on a ranch instead of in downtown Chicago.”

Grace nodded toward Evan. “I blame reruns of Westerns on the Hallmark Channel.”

Laney laughed. “And I blame all those rodeos they run on country music channels.” Just then Cheyenne looked back at them, smiled wide and waved. They returned both the smile and the wave. “But I can’t really complain. They got us through some tough times.”

Grace knew Laney was referring to how Chey had been a sick little girl for about a year. She’d had a heart condition that, thankfully, doctors had been able to fix once she got old enough. But the months of waiting for her to get to an age where the procedure would be safer to perform had been agonizing.

The memory made Grace’s own heart squeeze. She couldn’t fathom having something threaten Evan’s life. “She’s still doing okay?”

“Oh, yes. Totally healthy.” Laney found a spot on a bench next to the fence and sat down.

Still tired, Grace joined her as Nathan continued telling the kids about the parts of a saddle.

“It still seems so weird to me that watching rodeos was the only thing that would keep her calm when she was sick. Not cartoons, not soothing music. Rodeo. Of all the things. But there she was, glued to the TV anytime it was on. I still have some of the ones I recorded back then.” Laney shook her head. “I don’t know where she gets it. Certainly not from her father or me.”

“No hidden rodeoing in your past, huh?”

Laney laughed. “Not even a stint as rodeo queen.”

Grace made the mistake of looking at Nathan at the moment he pushed up the front brim of his hat. The motion was so like Evan’s it took her breath away.

“Grace?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Just tired.”

Worry descended on Laney’s features. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” For now. She shifted her gaze away from her friend’s concern, not wanting to think about why it was there. Once you’d battled the cancer monster, it was hard to get past the idea that it might jump out at you again.

Nathan stepped aside as Merline walked to the front of the group. “I hope everyone is hungry because we’re putting on a big Texas-style barbecue for you all tonight. We’ll get started in about an hour, so that gives you time to go and freshen up. Just come on up behind the house, and you’ll get to mix and mingle, meet the rest of the family and the hands.”

Grace’s nerves fired. The rest of the Teagues. As in Evan’s grandparents and uncles. “Excuse me.”

“Sure,” Laney said. “See you at dinner?”

Grace nodded, but her attention was tracking Nathan as he headed back through the barn. She hurried after him, but his long legs had carried him almost halfway through before she caught him.

“Nathan, I need to talk to you.”

“Not now, Grace,” he said, his voice clipped and without any hint of warmth. He didn’t slow or look at her.

She grabbed his wrist and stopped, forcing him to do the same. When his eyes met hers, she didn’t waver. “Yes, now.”

Chapter Three

Grace held her breath until Nathan finally let out a slow sigh and nodded. He motioned for her to follow him. After a quick glance back to see that Evan was busy talking to some of the other kids, she accompanied Nathan as they walked out of the front of the barn and down the driveway a short distance. When they were out of earshot of the other guests, he propped one booted foot and his forearms up on the fence and gazed out into the distance. The rigidity of his stance told her he was struggling to contain his anger.

“I believe you,” he said.

“What?”

“I believe he’s mine. You never seemed like the type of person to lie. Not outright anyway.”

The half compliment was unexpected, but she didn’t assign too much weight to it. He probably didn’t even mean it as a compliment if his tone was any indication, rather just a truth. Better she think of it that way. Nathan Teague was from another part of her life, and was in her present life only for a brief time out of necessity, nothing more.

“It’s been seven years. I could have changed.”

He glanced at her, all of her, and it made her skin flush. She hoped he couldn’t see it, or attributed it to her being fair and out in the Texas sun.

“Yes, you’ve changed on the surface, but I don’t believe people change at their core. Even if they do make bad decisions.”

Grace did her best to ignore how his words stung. No matter how he felt, she’d never think of Evan as a mistake. She moved closer to the wooden fence and propped her arms on the top slat, as well. “You barely knew me.”

“True. But I tend to pay attention to my gut instincts.”

“What’s it telling you about me now?” Out of the corner of her eye she saw him watching her, but she didn’t face him.

“That something changed in your life, some reason you finally decided to tell me I have a son.”

Grace winced at the harsh edge to his words, but she also acknowledged he was entitled to it. No matter what had transpired between the two of them in the past, it was a big thing to have a child and not know about it. She pushed away those old feelings of hurt and abandonment that had deluged her after that night with Nathan, when he’d avoided her eyes in the school hallways as if he didn’t know her. She was a different person now, an adult, so maybe he was, too.

“I guess I grew up, realized that I have responsibilities. And one of those is ensuring my son’s future in case something happens to me.” She sensed his next question, so she continued before he could speak. “You know, I could die in a car wreck tomorrow.”

He was quiet for a moment, and she wondered if he could tell she was hiding something. She just wasn’t ready to reveal everything, afraid she’d start crying if she thought too much about the cancer returning. She wanted Nathan to agree to care for Evan should the need arise because he felt a kinship to his son, not because of pity for her. She never wanted Evan to feel like a charity case.

“What about your family?”

“I haven’t talked to them since I turned eighteen.”

“You’ve been alone this whole time?”

“I’ve had Evan, and friends once I went to college. My friend Emily and I started a business together, interior design. So I have a good life.” Evan and the fact that she’d made her life what she wanted it to be were what had gotten her through bad doctor reports and body-draining chemo. Only in her darkest moments, when she’d succumbed to the fear that the disease might win, had she yearned for more. For a man to love and be loved by. Someone to offer her support, hold her hand during those endless hours lying in a hospital bed or curled into her own after a chemo session.

Nathan sighed and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe any of this was happening. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I had a right to know.”

She’d anticipated this question, considered so many different ways to answer it. Finally, she’d settled on the truth.

“I was scared.”

“Of me?”

“No, and yes.”

Nathan slipped his foot off the fence and turned toward her. “I wasn’t that bad, Grace.”

She wanted to say, “Yes, you really hurt me,” but that wasn’t what was important anymore. She didn’t shift to face him, not sure if she could get through the next few minutes if she had to look him in the eye and see anger and accusations there.

“I was hurt, yes, but that’s not why I made the choices I did.” She picked at a splinter on the fence, gathering her courage to delve into a part of her life steeped in a lot of pain. “I had lost Evan once, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it happening again.”

“Lost him?”

“When I told my parents I was pregnant, well, I’ve never seen them so mad. They were ashamed I was their daughter, and I know if I’d been of legal age, they would have kicked me out then. Instead, they packed us up in the middle of the night and left town.”

“You knew before you left Blue Falls? And you didn’t tell me then? God, Grace. What were you thinking?”