The Club at Crow's Corner

"It wasn't the least little use for me to promise that I'd take my name off the list of members next morning; she insisted that I do it that very same minute, and, if you'll believe me, nearly drove me out of my own home, threatening to pour hot water on me if I didn't notify the president right away that I was through with joining clubs.

"When Mrs. Bunny gets really mad there isn't any sense in trying to argue with her, for she won't listen, and, seeing that I was driven out of the hole, there was nothing left but to do as she had said. You can't think how bad I felt about being obliged to do it, for I knew all the members would laugh at me, or say I didn't dare to stand up for my rights; but there wasn't any other way out of the scrape, as I figured it, so off I went, hopping mighty slow, and trying to think up what I could say to make the other fellows believe I'd got tired of going to the club meetings.

"I suppose because I was so mixed up in my mind I didn't look after myself as I would have done at almost any other time, and all of a sudden there was one of Grandfather Fox's grandchildren standing right in front of me, so near that I could have touched him with my paw! Now you'd better believe I was frightened, and I had good reason to be, for if he made one snap I was a gone rabbit, as I couldn't make the first jump without his nabbing me!

"He licked his chops, thinking, I suppose, that a bit of fresh rabbit would taste mighty good, and I couldn't help saying to myself that I was the freshest thing in the big woods, else I'd have had better sense than to have run straight into that impudent young fox as I had. He was a member of the family with which I wasn't very well acquainted, but when I understood by the swinging of his tail that he was getting ready to pounce on me I said, as if he were the best friend I ever had in the world:

"'Good afternoon, Mr. Fox. Your grandfather was an old acquaintance of mine, and I'm mighty glad to meet a grandson of his who looks so much like him.'

"Mr. Fox grinned, but he never said a word, and I made up my mind right off quick that there wouldn't be any need for me to tell Mr. Crow to take my name off the club list, for in two or three minutes more there wouldn't be enough left of me to talk about."

At this point Mr. Rabbit ceased speaking abruptly, moving his ears to and fro nervously as if he had heard something disagreeable, and common courtesy demanded that the silence should not be broken save by himself.

CHAPTER XIV

MR. CROW'S PLOT

While one might have counted twenty Mr. Rabbit remained in a listening attitude, and then, shaking his ears with a gesture which was very like that of mental relief, said with a smile as he stroked his whiskers swaggeringly:

"Do you know, just for a minute I thought the smell of young Mr. Fox was in the air. When I got rid of that fellow's grandfather I said to Mrs. Bunny that a full half of all our troubles had disappeared out of the big woods, with the evidence of the good fortune nailed up on Mr. Man's barn; but I had entirely forgotten that the old rascal left behind him a regular gang of children and grandchildren, and I truly believe they are the worst to be found anywhere in this world, to say nothing of their being able to run twice as fast as their grandfather ever could even in his best days.

"I wonder why it is that the Fox family have such a hankering for rabbit pie, stew, or even plain rabbit? Of course, they don't turn up their noses at a good plump partridge, and they know how to catch him, too, when the snow is deep; but I verily believe there's nothing goes quite so near the right spot in a fox's stomach as rabbit meat. Mr. Crow says that years and years ago, when the mountains were only grown into little hills, Clote Scarpe, the Great Spirit who made all the birds and animals, used to walk around listening to any complaint his creatures might make. I wish he would come around the big woods now! You can set it down as a fact that I'd beg him to fix it so that the first taste of rabbit would make a fox so sick that he'd come pretty near turning himself inside out, and then there'd be a little peace for my family.

"No; it's as you say, Clote Scarpe doesn't pay very much attention to us wood folks now, and it wouldn't surprise me a little bit if it were all one of Mr. Crow's yarns – I mean about the Great Spirit's listening to our troubles, for if anything like that ever had happened, it seems as if some of my people would have fixed it for us long ago. Yet, if you'd listen to Mr. Turtle, he'd tell you that years and years ago, before even the rocks had grown, one of his greatest, greatest grandfathers, who didn't have any hard shell on his back, went to Clote Scarpe and had himself fixed so that none of the animals could bite him, and that's the reason why he's got a house to live in this day that even Jimmy Hedgehog can't harm.

"Don't be afraid that I won't finish my story I began a while ago. Speaking of the Fox family brought my mind to what Mrs. Bunny and I have talked over many and many a time, and I couldn't seem to help telling you about it. Now I'll go on about the fix I found myself in when I was going up to the club to tell the president that I'd have to give over being a member because it was making so much trouble for me at home. And do you know, that very scrape with young Mr. Fox was what broke up our meetings at Crow's Corner? It's a fact, though perhaps the same thing might have happened in some other way.

"Well, there I was standing face to face with young Mr. Fox, and he grinning at me in a way that said just as plain as words could have done what a good time he'd have eating me. Goodness, I'm trembling even now to think of what he might have done before I had a chance to wag my ear if he'd known that I was the one who led his grandfather into the trap where Mr. Man could get hold of him so easily! When he didn't even speak after I'd talked to him so sweetly the idea came into my head that perhaps I might jump right over his back and so get out of the hole in that way; but it seemed as if he must have known what was in my mind, for he said with another of his beastly grins:

"'Don't try to do anything like that, Bunny Rabbit, for I'm a good deal more spry with my feet than ever grandfather was, and I'd catch you on the fly.'

"'Perhaps you're making a mistake as to what I was thinking about,' I said innocent-like, as if I didn't have sense enough to go home when it rained. 'I was saying to myself that you had quite the most beautiful tail I ever saw on one of your family.'

"Do you know, that struck him just right, and for the life of him he couldn't help turning his head to look at it, though, between you and me, it wasn't anything extra in the way of a tail; except for the size, Cheeko had a better one – more bushy and with much finer hair. Young Mr. Fox took all I said in sober earnest and began waving that fly-brush of his to and fro so he could see it the more plainly and then was come the time I'd been playing for!

"The very minute he turned his head I gave the jump of my life, and it was as many as ten feet straight in the air, beating the Rabbit record by more than five inches. I sailed right over a big alder bush, and when I came down on my feet, young Mr. Fox had just got it into his head that I'd played him a trick. Now you can set it down as a fact that I didn't linger around there any very great while!

"I was off like a runaway streak of lightning the very instant I had the ground under my paws, and, of course, young Mr. Fox started after me; but I had a good three yards the start of him, and to a rabbit who holds the record for running, as I do, that was a mighty long distance. Then again I knew all the crooks and turns in our part of the big woods, while Grandfather Fox's grandson wasn't very well acquainted in that part of the country.

"Before I'd much more than struck my gait I knew I could give him the slip whenever I wanted to, and it seemed as if it would do the foolish fellow a world of good to teach him a lesson that he wouldn't forget right away, so I set about doing it to the Queen's taste. First I took a turn over by the pond, where the ground was so wet in spots that he'd sink in two or three inches at every leap, while, by skimming along the edge, I was tiring him out, which was what I didn't want to do till he'd got it considerably harder than he had up to that time.

"Then I tore round by the head pine tree, where Senator Bear lives, thinking that perhaps the old fellow himself might like to take a hand in the game, but he wasn't at home. After that I hiked it up Hemlock Hill, where I could run under the fallen timber and through the thorn bushes, while he'd have to show what he was able to do in the way of jumping, or go a long bit around.

"That was the part of the race that broke his heart, and when I circled over the top, allowing I'd give him a sight of the club's meeting place, I saw him sitting down trying to pull a thorn out of his left hind foot. Then I laughed and cut capers till he started down the hill again on his way home, after which I went off hipperty-hop, saying to myself that it would do poor little Sonny Bunny a world of good when I told the story to him.

"Of course I had to go right past the big oak in order to get home, and when I was there the most sensible thing I could do was to stop and have a chat with President Crow, for I wanted to tell him how well I'd served out young Mr. Fox.

"Old Mr. Crow was roosting mighty low that day, talking with Bobby Coon's brother, and when I told him what had happened he laughed till the tears got all mixed up with feathers on his cheeks, for he had heard young Fox telling 'Squire Owl that he was going to make the Rabbit family look mighty sick as soon as he had time to attend to the matter.

"Well, after we'd had a good time over what I'd done and when Bobby's brother had gone away I up and told Mr. Crow that I had to leave the club that very day, else there'd never be any more peace at home for me. The news surprised him terribly, as I understood by the way he kept smoothing out his tail feathers, and it was quite a spell before he could seem to say anything, but when he did speak it was the kind of talk that counted.

"'We'll be sorry to lose you from the club, Bunny,' he said, 'for even though you don't cut any great figure in helping the business along we can always count on you to do the running about when the House Committee want to send out notices, or if it is necessary for me to call a special meeting. Of course I don't want to advise you to do anything which may make trouble at your home; but it's my solemn advice for you to leave your name on the rolls till I've had a chance to talk with Mrs. Bunny. Perhaps she'll look at it in a different light when I've shown her how much good you're getting from keeping company with the other wood folks.'

"Now, I had a pretty good idea that Mrs. Bunny would take a broom to the president, instead of listening to him, if he went to my home while Sonny Bunny was so sick and I told him as much, breaking it gently so he wouldn't get angry; but, bless you, he didn't seem to mind it. He's been around the world so much that he's got a mighty good idea of how things may be at a fellow's home when one of the children has been abused.

"'I'll tell you what it is, Mr. Bunny,' he said, ruffling the feathers on his neck as he always does when he's got some big scheme in his mind, 'Jimmy Hedgehog is the one who's responsible for all the trouble we've been having, and if I can find Mr. Turtle at home I'll rig up a plan that'll make Mr. Hedgehog wish he'd never been quite so pert with the president of the Fur and Feather Club. I don't count on letting that prickly young chap run things his own way around Crow's Corner!'

"'What do you count on doing?' I asked, for I was dreadfully curious by the time he'd got through talking.

"'Leave it to me, Bunny Rabbit. I've been out of the shell too long to stand such nonsense from a hedgehog; but at the same time I don't count on letting you into one of my secrets till the plans are all laid. We'll go around by the way of your home, and there I'll tell Mrs. Bunny what you've said about leaving the club. That'll keep her quiet for a while, or, at least, calm her down so you and she can live in the same house a bit longer, and if my plan works as I think it will she'll be so tickled that you won't hear anything more about her wanting you to keep away from Crow's Corner.'

"Of course I let him have his own way, for, being old, he's so headstrong that you can't stop him from doing what he's set his mind on, no matter how foolish it may be; but I wasn't much surprised, after we came to my home and I'd called Mrs. Bunny out of her hole, to hear her talk quite disrespectfully to him about the club, which she declared was nothing more nor less than an excuse for us animals and birds to idle our time away when we should be at home attending to household affairs.

"He didn't seem to lose his temper a little bit, even when she talked the most, but kept on trying to soothe her by saying that the only trouble we'd ever had in the big woods among ourselves had been caused by Jimmy Hedgehog, but we'd hear nothing more of that kind after his plan had been worked out.

"Mrs. Bunny smoothed down a little before he left, and when he flew off I went into the bedroom to see poor little Sonny Bunny, though I was just fairly dying to know what it was Mr. Crow counted on doing to Jimmy, and why it was necessary for him to see Mr. Turtle.

"Sonny Bunny was looking pretty bad when I went in; but he perked up a good bit after I told him how I'd served out young Mr. Fox, and before a great while he began to play around just as ever, though he was mighty careful not to rub up against anything, on account of being so sore in the places where Jimmy's quills had stuck into him.

"It was the longest while before Mrs. Bunny would so much as listen to my going out again to see what Mr. Crow's trick might be; but after I'd talked so much about it that she began to grow a bit curious herself, she agreed that it would be all right if I didn't stay more than an hour, and took good care to keep away from the Fox family.

"Well, I kissed Sonny Bunny, who cried to go with me, as he might have done if only his mother had been willing, and then off I hopped, puzzling my brain to guess what part Mr. Turtle could have in Mr. Crow's plot."

CHAPTER XV

MR. TURTLE

"Now if you had known the president of the Fur and Feather Club as long as we wood folks have you'd believe that when he laid himself right out to do a thing, it would come pretty near to being finished 'way down to the ground," Mr. Bunny Rabbit said as he continued his story, after a pause no longer than might be necessary in which to draw a long breath. "Mr. Crow as well as said that we folks in the big woods wouldn't have any more trouble with Jimmy Hedgehog after he got through with him, and I counted that he'd come pretty near keeping his word.

"If he hadn't said that he couldn't work his plan without Mr. Turtle, I'd been perfectly willing to stay at home till he finished the job, whatever it might be; but when he talked as if old Slowly was the only one who could help him, I got agitated. Just think of it! Getting a fellow to help you who makes a two-days' journey of it from the pond to the big oak! It twisted me terribly to figure out what Mr. Turtle could do to help the president, and I really had to leave home the very minute Mrs. Bunny was willing, to see how the thing was going to be worked.

"The first place I struck for was the big oak, and there was Mr. Crow roosting on the very tiptoppest branch, looking as if he'd been asleep for a month. He didn't pay the least little bit of attention when I spoke to him, and just for the minute I thought I'd best go back home without sticking my nose into any of the old fellow's plans; but if I did that there wouldn't be any rest for me the whole of that night, so off I hopped into the open, where he couldn't help seeing me if he lifted his head, and then I shouted:

"'Hi there! President Crow! Hello!'

"I must have made considerable noise toward the last, for suddenly the old bird raised his head with a jerk, as if he'd heard Butcher Weasel coming after him, and looked around as if frightened till he saw me. Then he shook himself so that the feathers on his neck ruffled up as if he were ready for a fight, and asked crossly:

"'Is that you, Mr. Rabbit?'

"Of course I told him it was I, as I stood right out there for all hands to see, and if it hadn't been for making trouble when it didn't seem to be necessary I'd have something to say about the president of such a club as ours asking questions when he knew full well what the answers were.

"'Why are you loitering around here? Why don't you go home and do up your chores before dark?' he croaked in a way that didn't please me a little bit, for I'm not the kind of rabbit that neglects his family, except, perhaps, when there's something important on hand for me to watch and I told him so plainly; but he croaked again:

"'I'm still wanting to know why you don't go home? There won't be any meeting of this club till nearly sunset, and perhaps not then, unless Jimmy Hedgehog gets into trouble.'

"'That's why I'm here, Mr. Crow,' I said quickly, getting excited again. 'I'm just regularly dying to know how old Slowly Turtle can do anything to help along the plan you said you'd worked out.'

"'Come around about sunset and perhaps you'll see a thing or two,' he said, and then stuck his head under his wing as if he were nearly dead for want of sleep.

"There didn't seem to be any sense in hanging around after that, for when Mr. Crow makes up his mind not to talk Mr. Man himself couldn't drag a word out of him, and off I went hipperty-hop as if it weren't in my head to go anywhere in particular; but I was headed for the pond, because I'd made up my mind to know what was to be done, and that before it happened, even if I had to hang around all night. It was well that I felt so determined, else I'd have missed the biggest part of the fun, and don't you think that we didn't have lots of it before dark!

"It didn't take me many minutes to go to the pond, for I skipped along at my best speed after I was so far away that Mr. Crow couldn't see me, and there I found old Slowly lying out on the sand as if he were in the last stages of consumption.

"'What's the matter, Mr. Turtle?' I asked, for even though I don't like the old fellow any too well it pays to be polite, and really, just for a minute, I was afraid he'd make up his mind to die.

"'I've got a terrible toothache, Mr. Rabbit!' he said, stretching his neck out of the shell till it looked like a snake, and when he'd got as far as that I couldn't help laughing right in his face, for anybody who ever heard Mr. Turtle knows that he hasn't got a tooth in his jaws and never had.

"'I'm in a bad way, Mr. Rabbit,' he went on, making as if he didn't see me laughing, 'and I don't know what'll happen if I can't get better mighty soon.'

"'Is there anything I can do to help you?' I asked, though I knew there wasn't, for how can you cure the toothache for a fellow who never had any teeth?

"'I don't reckon you can, Mr. Rabbit; there's only one person in all the big woods who could do me the least little mite of good,' he said with a groan that sounded as if a spring inside of him had broken and was whirling around to beat the band.

"'Who is it you want?' I asked, never so much as dreaming what kind of an answer he'd make, and he sobbed out as if he had already begun to die:

"'Jimmy Hedgehog is the only fellow who could do me any good; but I'm afraid I'll draw my last breath before he comes around this way.'

"You could have knocked me down with a feather when he said that, for I knew it was some part of the plan Mr. Crow had hatched up, but I was more in the dark than ever and so would you have been. Of course I didn't let on that I knew the president of the club had been down that way and asked as innocent as any lamb:

"'How is it possible that Jimmy can help you, Mr. Turtle?'

"'I was eating a snail and must have got a piece of his shell in my teeth; if Jimmy would let me have one of his quills for a toothpick I might get it out.'

"Now what do you think of that? Talking about toothpicks when he didn't have even the shadow of a tooth to use them on! Well, I'm not the kind of rabbit to miss any fun and knowing Mr. Turtle wouldn't explain his plan to me however hard I might coax I said as if I believed all the hot air he'd been giving me:

"'If you think you must really see Jimmy I'll do what I can to find him.'

"'My dear Bunny, if you'd do that much for a poor fellow like me who can't get over the ground as you can I'd never forget the favor as long as I live. You are the one person in all the big woods who can get around quickly enough to save my life!'

"I didn't wait to talk with him any longer, for what would be the use when he was ready to tell me anything for the sake of shutting my eye, so off I went, putting in my best licks to be on hand when the fun began.

"Do you know, I had the job of my life finding Jimmy? It seemed as if he knew I was looking for him, and he was doing his best to keep out of my way. Luckily I happened to see Mr. Jay, and he told me he'd seen Jimmy under a lot of fir bushes over by the swamp, acting as if he'd been taken with a bad fit of the sulks, and sure enough I found him there, but he didn't look as if he were very glad to see me.

"'Howdy, Jimmy,' I said, soft as silk, when I'd gotten over making believe I was surprised to see him there. 'Anything gone wrong that you're tucked away here where even Professor Hawk would have hard work to find you?'

"'Now don't try to be funny!' he growled, and just for the minute I was afraid we might have a row then and there because he was in such a bad temper. 'I'd like to know what business you've got running all over the country looking for me?'

"'But I haven't been running all over the country, Jimmy,' I said, speaking softly because I didn't want to have any trouble. 'Come to think of it, now that you've reminded me, I did want to find you on account of Slowly Turtle.'

"'I've had enough of you,' he snarled, bristling up his quills as if he counted on sticking some of them into me. 'After the way you went back on me in that scrape Bobby Coon got me into, I'm through with the whole Rabbit family, from this out. Just keep your eye on me, and you'll see that I'll even up that business before I'm many days older.'

"Of course I couldn't have him holding out against me like that, for I knew he might make lots of trouble if he tried very hard, and then again it didn't seem right to blame me for what I really couldn't help, so I talked as softly as I knew how, smoothing things over till he said, still acting grumpy:

"'Well, what do you want of me? I happen to know that you've been hunting high and low this past hour, and if that meddling Jay hadn't run across me by accident, you'd still be scurrying around as if I were the best friend you had in the world.'

"'That's just what I count you are, Jimmy,' and I nestled as near his nose as I could without filling myself full of quills. That seemed to quiet him down a little and I went on to explain about Mr. Turtle; telling Jimmy how sick the old fellow looked. I expected every minute that he'd give it to me hard for trying to stuff him with any such yarn as that old Slowly had the toothache, but, do you know, he never thought about Mr. Turtle's not having teeth, and asked, as if he'd got real interested in the story:

"'What does he think I can do? I'm no dentist's shop.'

"When I told him that Slowly believed the pain was caused by his getting a piece of snail's shell in his teeth, and that he could fix himself up all right if he had a hedgehog quill for a toothpick, that foolish Jimmy swallowed the story, shell and all.

"'I'm allowing that I'm the only one of the wood folks who really amounts to anything in the way of usefulness,' he said, grinning like a jack o' lantern, and shaking his quills till I had to get out in the open for fear some of them would strike me. 'If I can help old Mr. Turtle, of course I must do it; but you wait till the president of your blooming old club gets into trouble that nobody but me can pull him out of, and see how long it'll be before I so much as lift a paw! I wouldn't give that beggar Jim Crow one of my quills, not if he was starving to death!'