Runaway Amish Bride

Abby turned, her gaze riveted to the far corner of the room where a rocking cradle sat awaiting a little occupant. She made a small sound of sympathy in the back of her throat, her eyes filled with sadness. He’d made the cradle for his new child. As he looked at the empty mattress, a wave of lonely helplessness crashed over him. All his hopes and dreams seemed to have died with Susan and their unborn child. He should have removed it by now but hadn’t been able to let go of the past. Packing the cradle off to the barn would seem like burying his wife and child all over again. So he’d left it here, a constant reminder of all he’d lost.

He looked away, trying to squelch the pain. Setting Abby’s suitcase on the floor with a dull thud, he walked to the armoire and reached inside. It took only a moment to gather up his clothes. He didn’t have much, just what he needed.

Abby watched him quietly, her delicate forehead crinkled in a frown. Her gaze lifted to a hook on the wall where his black felt hat rested. He scooped it up, feeling out of place in his own home. Having this woman see the room he had shared with his wife seemed much too personal.

Abby looked at him, her eyes creased with compassion, and he felt as though she could see deep inside his tattered heart.

“This is your room,” she said.

It was a statement, not a question.

“Ja, but it is yours to use now. I will join Dawdi in the dawdy haus. He turned ninety-three last month and is quite frail, but he still lives alone now that his wife is gone.”

The dawdy haus was a tiny building next to the main house with a bedroom, bathroom, small living area and kitchenette. It included a front porch with two rocking chairs, although Dawdi Zeke didn’t do much idle sitting even though he was so old. The cottage was the Amish version of an old folks’ home, except that they cared for their elderly grandparents instead of turning them over to strangers. Jakob had no doubt the man would be happy to let him live with him for the time being.

“I’m sorry to chase you out of your room,” Abby said.

He shrugged. “It’s no problem, although Dawdi Zeke does snore a bit.”

He showed a half smile, but she just stared at him, totally missing his attempt at humor.

“We will eat supper soon. Come down when you are ready.” With one last glance around the room, he closed the door.

Alone for a moment, he stood on the landing, his thoughts full of turmoil. He didn’t want Abby here, but the situation wasn’t her fault. She’d come to Colorado in good faith. No doubt she was hoping for a better life than what she’d had with her own familye. He knew how he would feel if Reuben were beating little Ruby with a stick, and he made a mental note to speak with his son right after supper. He’d feel like a failure if one of his children grew up to be cruel and abusive. He couldn’t marry Abby, but neither could he turn his back on her in her time of need. If nothing else, he could shelter her. The Lord would expect no less.

Turning, he descended the creaking stairs and entered the wide kitchen. Mamm stood in front of the gas stove, stirring a pot of bubbling soup. Strands of gray hair had escaped her kapp and hung around her flushed cheeks. She looked tired, but he knew she’d never complain. It wasn’t their way.

The fragrant aroma of freshly baked biscuits wafted through the air. Mamm paused, looking at his armful of clothes. Her gaze lifted to his face, as if assessing his mood.

“Jakob, I’m so sorry. Your vadder never should have interfered...”

He held up a hand. She hadn’t been privy to his father’s plans and it wasn’t her fault, but he didn’t want to discuss it any further. “Abby is welcome in our home until she wishes to leave, but I am not marrying her or any woman. Not ever. Now, I’m going to get Dawdi and the children so we can eat. I heard Abby’s stomach rumbling and believe she is hungry. We should feed her before I complete the evening chores.”

With that final word on the subject, he stepped out onto the back porch and walked past the yellow daffodils Susan had planted the first year they’d been married. He saw her presence everywhere on the farm. In the garden where she’d grown huge beefsteak tomatoes in spite of the short growing season, and in his children’s eyes. They both looked so much like their mother that he could never forget. Nor did he want to.

No, he definitely would never marry again. It was that simple.

Chapter Two

“What’s taking her so long?”

Abby heard the impatient words as she reached the bottom of the stairs. The voice sounded grouchy, like it came from a young boy. No doubt Reuben was hungry and she was keeping him waiting.

Smoothing one hand over her apron, she subconsciously patted her white kapp before entering the kitchen. A gas lamp hung from the high ceiling, filling the room with warm light. Through the window above the sink, Abby saw the dusky sky painted with fingers of pink and gold. The warmth from the woodstove embraced her chilled arms and hands along with the delicious aromas of food. She hadn’t eaten since the day before and her stomach grumbled as she took another step.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” She stood in the doorway, gazing at the occupants of the room.

Two children, a boy and girl with identical chins and eyes, stared back at her. The boy sat on Jakob’s left with the girl next to him. As Naomi turned from the woodstove with a plate of steaming biscuits, Jakob and an elderly man scooted back their chairs and rose from their places at the head of each end of the long table. Their respect was not lost on Abby, and she stared at them in surprise. No one had ever stood up for her in her father’s home.

“Here she is.” Naomi spoke in a lilting voice as she showed Abby a happy smile.

“Willkomm to our home.” The elderly man hobbled over and took Abby’s hands in his.

This must be Dawdi Zeke, Jakob’s grandfather. His long beard was white as snow, his face lined with deep creases. A pair of wire-rimmed spectacles sat on the bridge of his nose, his gray eyes sparkling with humor and the experience of a long life. As Abby looked at him, she found nothing to fear.

“Danke,” she said, conscious Jakob was watching her.

“Sit here.” Naomi pointed to a chair on Jakob’s right.

As Abby rounded the table, the two children stared at her...the girl with open curiosity, the boy with open hostility.

“But that’s Mamm’s seat,” the boy said.

Abby hesitated, her hand resting along the high back of the wooden chair.

Jakob’s mouth tightened and he didn’t say a word, but his dark eyes mirrored his son’s disapproval.

“I can sit here.” Abby sat across from Ruby instead, not wanting to stir up any more animosity.

In spite of her effort to please him, Reuben gave a gigantic huff and rested his elbows on the table, his chin cradled in the palms of his hands. He eyed her as though she were a stinky dog that shouldn’t be allowed in the house.

“Sit up straight and mind your manners,” Naomi told him with slightly raised eyebrows.

The boy did as asked, but his glare stayed firmly in place. Abby tried not to squirm beneath his unfriendly gaze and decided that ill-mannered children should be ignored. She instead focused on Ruby and was rewarded for her effort. The girl grinned, showing a bottom tooth missing in front.

“You’re pretty,” Ruby said.

“Danke. So are you,” Abby said, feeling the heat of a blush suffuse her face. She wasn’t used to such praise, even from a child.

“You’re not our mamm. You never will be.” Reuben blurted the words angrily, then scooted back his chair and raced out of the room. The chair toppled to the floor with a loud clatter.

Abby flinched.

“Reuben!” Jakob called, but the boy kept going.

Abby blinked, not knowing what to say.

“I’ll go speak with him.” Jakob stood and walked around the table to set the fallen chair back up, then left the room.

Abby stared at her hands. It was obvious that Reuben didn’t like her. That he felt threatened by her. And if she were going to stay here, she must figure out a way to show him that she meant no harm.

“Where did Reuben and Daed go?” Ruby asked, her little chin quivering.

“Reuben isn’t feeling well. Your vadder will look after him, but he will be fine,” Dawdi said.

The girl accepted this without further complaint.

“It’ll be all right,” Naomi whispered and patted Abby’s shoulder, then set the biscuits in the middle of the table and took her seat.

Dawdi smiled at each person in turn, as though trying to bring a better mood back to the room.

“Let us pray and give thanks to the Lord for the bounty we enjoy each day.” He waited patiently for them to bow their heads.

His words warmed Abby’s heart. She couldn’t help comparing Zeke’s actions with those of her father and brother. Back home, if she didn’t hurry, she could find herself receiving a solid smack with the back of her brother’s hand. There was never any tolerance waiting for children or women in his home.

In unison, they closed their eyes. Silently in her mind, Abby recited the Lord’s Prayer from the New Testament. Then, she quickly thanked Gott for bringing her safely to Colorado and asked that He might comfort Reuben and help her make a successful life here. Everyone at the table released a quick exhale, and Ruby reached for the biscuits. Naomi hopped out of her chair and hurried to pour glasses of milk for them. The woman bustled around, seeing to everyone else’s needs. Abby stood up to help, but Naomi pushed her back into her seat.

“You’ve had a long enough day. Just sit and eat your meal.”

Feeling frazzled and exhausted, Abby sat down.

“How was your ride into town on the bus?” Dawdi asked as Naomi ladled thick soup into his bowl.

“It was long and tiring, but I saw some amazing scenery on my journey. Your mountains are so tall. I’m glad to be here,” Abby said truthfully.

“I’d like to ride on a bus someday, but we only travel by horse and buggy,” little Ruby said.

“Unless we need to travel a great distance, as Abby has done. Then we would take the bus,” Dawdi said.

“Then I want to go on a long trip one day. Then I can ride the bus,” she said.

Dawdi smiled. “I’m sure you will, one day.”

Jakob returned a short time later with Reuben in tow. The boy sniffled, his face and eyes red from crying. He paused beside Abby’s chair and stared at the toes of his bare feet.

“Go on. Do as you were told,” Jakob urged the boy.

Reuben heaved a tremulous sigh. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

Overcome by compassion for the motherless boy, Abby couldn’t resist reaching out and squeezing his arm. The moment she did so, she felt him tense beneath her fingertips, and she removed her hand. He might have apologized, but she could tell he wasn’t really sorry.

“It’s all right. No one could ever replace your good mudder,” she said.

He glanced at her face, as though surprised by her words. Then a glint of suspicion flashed in his eyes. He didn’t say anything as his lips pursed and he took his seat at the table. Keeping his gaze downcast, he ate his meal in silence. And then a thought occurred to Abby. Surely Jakob wouldn’t have beaten the boy into submission. She knew many Amish parents adhered to the spare the rod, spoil the child mantra. But not Jakob. Not the man she’d known and trusted all these years. He wouldn’t do such a thing. Would he? She hadn’t seen him in years and didn’t really know him anymore. Maybe he’d changed. And the thought that she might be the cause of Reuben suffering a spanking, or worse, made her feel sick inside. If so, he now had a viable reason to hate her. And if Jakob had struck the boy, she wouldn’t be able to like him either. Maybe it was a blessing they would not be marrying.

She nibbled a biscuit but had suddenly lost her appetite.

Jakob lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then swallowed. “I’ll start plowing the fields tomorrow, but I don’t want to plant the feed corn too soon. We could still get a killing frost.”

“I think we’re safe now.” Dawdi spoke between bites. “We can plant anytime. But tomorrow morning, you should go with the women to the bakery. They’ve got a lot of heavy items to carry and they’ll need your strength. I can stay here and finish staining that oak hutch for Jason Crawley.”

“But the day after tomorrow is the Sabbath. I won’t be able to plant then,” Jakob said.

Dawdi shrugged. “We can plant on Monday. That is soon enough. It’ll give us a couple of extra days since you’re worried about frost. It shouldn’t keep us from having a bountiful harvest.”

Jakob nodded, accepting his grandfather’s advice without protest. Dawdi Zeke might be old, but he knew what he was talking about.

Jakob glanced briefly at Abby, and her senses went on high alert. She felt as though he could see deep inside her, but she couldn’t understand why he made her so jittery. Perhaps it was because she doubted him now, just as she doubted all men. Was it possible the compassionate boy she had known had grown up to be abusive like her brother?

“Ja, you are right. I should drive Mamm into town,” Jakob said. “She is low on flour, and I don’t want her to lift the heavy bags. We will drop off her breads and pies at the bakery, then go to the store and purchase the other supplies she needs.”

“Ach, I can lift those bags just fine,” Naomi said.

“I can help. I’m strong and can do the lifting, too,” Abby offered, wanting to earn her keep.

“Absolutely not. Naomi will be glad to have your help with the baking, but let Jakob lift the bags of flour,” Zeke said.

Abby nodded, returning the man’s warm smile. Back home, her brother expected her to do heavy work. In spite of the aches and pains in her muscles and joints, she’d learned not to ask him for help. Even with Reuben’s outburst, it felt so good to be sitting here, having a familye meal and a normal discussion. It was her first day in Riverton and she was beyond grateful to be here.

She tasted her savory chicken noodle soup, and her hunger took over. Even though she was nervous, she ate her fill, enjoying strawberry preserves spread across her warm biscuits. They consumed one of Naomi’s schnitz apple pies for dessert. And when the meal ended, the men scooted back their chairs.

“I will be out in the barn,” Jakob announced.

Abby realized his evening chores must have been interrupted because of her arrival, and she felt the heat of embarrassment stain her cheeks. Normally, the majority of farm chores were completed before sitting down to the evening meal.

“I’ll help you,” Abby said, wanting to do her part.

“No need. Tomorrow, you can work. Tonight, you should rest,” Jakob said.

Dawdi walked around the table and leaned down to kiss Naomi on the forehead. “Another delicious meal, my dear.”

Likewise, Jakob kissed his mother’s cheek. “Danke, Mamm.”

“Gern geschehen.” Naomi smiled with satisfaction. She squeezed Dawdi’s hand but looked at her son. “Don’t let him overdo or lift anything heavy out there.”

Jakob nodded obediently. “I won’t.”

Dawdi pursed his lips. “You can both stop mothering me. I’ve worked all my life and raised a familye. I’ll lift anything I want. I’m not a boppli.”

No, he definitely wasn’t a baby. He continued murmuring as he hobbled toward the door. Although his words sounded terse, his tone was light and pleasant. Abby knew they were just worried about the elderly man, but she wasn’t used to this kind of loving banter and couldn’t be sure.

“I would never question your skills, Dawdi. You know more about farming than anyone in the state,” Jakob said, resting his arm across his grandfather’s feeble shoulders.

“I’m glad I’m still good for something,” Zeke replied with a laugh.

Abby stared in shock. Growing up, she’d never seen this kind of affection nor gratitude shown in her home. Was this normal in most Amish households, or just this one? It seemed so alien to Abby, and yet she wished she had been raised this way.

“I’ll gather the eggs.” Reuben stuffed half a biscuit into his mouth before pushing away from the table.

“I want to help, too.” Ruby hopped out of her chair, and both children quickly carried their dishes to the sink before kissing their grandmother. Then they raced outside with the men.

Naomi released a huge sigh and finally sat at the table. She cupped her face with her hands, breathing hard.

“Are you all right?” Abby asked.

The woman nodded and sat back, seeming to relax now that her familye had been cared for. “I’m fine. There’s just a lot to do.”

She reached for a bowl and filled it with soup for herself. She began eating, and Abby thought she was overdoing.

“Now that I’m here, I can help take some of the load off you,” Abby said.

Naomi smiled. “Ja, I’m so glad to have you here, my dear.”

Again, the woman’s words warmed Abby’s heart. “The kinder are so eager to assist with the work.”

She was thinking of home again. She’d never been opposed to hard work, but she hated being anywhere near her father or brother. Surely Reuben wouldn’t be eager to help in the barn if his dad was inclined to beating him and Ruby.

Naomi nodded. “They are good children. I hope you know Reuben didn’t mean any harm by what he said earlier.”

“Ja, I understand that he has suffered a great loss. You all have.”

Naomi showed a sad smile. “I am sorry for how this has turned out with Jakob. You must be very disappointed not to be marrying him.”

Abby shrugged. “Not really. I am content not to be married. And I’m so grateful to be able to stay here with you. I promise not to be a burden. I’ll earn my keep.”

“Don’t worry about that. I like having a house full of familye. But you should marry one day. It’s a lot of work but also brings boundless joy. Losing my husband has been difficult, but we had many wonderful years together and I have my grandchildren to enjoy now. But I am very worried about Reuben and Jakob.”

“How many children do you have?” Abby asked, standing so she could clear the table.

“Five, including Jakob, who is the eldest. They are all grown and married now. Three of them live in the Westcliffe area and come to visit us now and then. Colorado isn’t like Ohio, where all of our familye lives close by. Here, we are spread far apart, but we are glad to have affordable land. There is plenty of room to grow. We can have a better future here. My daughter Ruth and her husband live here in Riverton. You’ll meet them at church on Sunday. She is expecting her first child in August. Then I will have eight grandchildren to love. I hope to have many more.”

Abby smiled at the thought, wishing she could have children someday. A husband and a large familye that loved each other had always been her dream. But children of her own would require marriage, which didn’t appear to be in her future. Although it wasn’t quite the same, she would just have to care for other people’s children. Starting with Reuben and Ruby.

“How nice that your familye is growing so much. You must be very pleased,” she said.

Naomi set her spoon in her empty bowl and pushed back from the table with a sigh. “I am. It is good to have a large familye in my old age, but I would feel better to see mein sohn happily married again. I can understand why my husband wrote to tell you that Jakob would marry you. The Amish settlements in Colorado are just beginning to grow. Bishop Yoder fears without enough women, our young men might start marrying outside our faith. I’m sure that is one reason he was eager for you to remain here with us.”

Abby didn’t respond to that. She thought it was better to let the topic die. And yet, she’d had such great expectations. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

“Is Dawdi Zeke your father?” she asked.

Naomi nodded. “He is kind, yet firm in his convictions. He’s lived a long, happy life. Jakob is just like him, although you wouldn’t know it lately. He’s still hurting over losing his wife. But one day, he will realize that Gott wants him to keep going and to be happy. That he cannot live in the past.”

Abby agreed, yet she realized how difficult it must be for Jakob. He’d lost two vital people he loved very much, and she envied that love. How she wished someone in the world loved her the way Jakob loved Susan. Abby was so traumatized by her life in Ohio that she was desperate to leave it behind, yet Jakob wanted to cling to the past. She realized neither mind-set was healthy, but she had no idea how to overcome the problem.

“Now, tell me about Ohio and our old home. Who has married recently and who has had new babies? Tell me all the news.” Naomi stood and walked to the kitchen sink.

Abby willingly complied, drying the dishes while Naomi washed. They laughed and chatted as they worked, soon having the room cleaned up and plans made for tomorrow’s meals. That didn’t diminish the worries in Abby’s mind. She was a stranger in a new home. She’d come here to get married, but surely things had worked out for the best. The Lord knew of her needs and would care for her. She must have faith. Jakob had let her stay, and she didn’t dare ask for more. So why did she feel an unexplainable sense of disappointment deep inside her heart?

* * *

The air smelled of a combination of cattle and clean straw. The horses were inside their stalls, blissfully munching on hay. The sun had all but faded in the western sky, highlighting the fields with shadows of dark purple and gray. Jakob lit a kerosene lamp and set it on the railing. He loved this late time of day, when he’d almost finished his work and could go inside and read or talk with his familye before the fireplace. But lately, he found no peace of mind.

Sitting on a three-legged stool, he set a clean bucket beneath one of their three cows.

“Abby is a sweet young woman, don’t you agree?” Dawdi Zeke asked.

Jakob paused in his milking and glanced over at his grandfather. It was a good thing that Reuben and Ruby were outside feeding the pigs. It might have been a mistake, but he’d told Dawdi about his father’s letters to Abby and that he had refused to marry her.

“She is a nice enough person I suppose,” he said.

Dawdi leaned against the side of the cow he was milking. He sat at a hunched angle, indicating his arthritis was bothering him again. His bucket was almost filled with frothy white milk or Jakob might have tried to get him to go inside. He gave his fragile grandfather as few chores to do as possible. The familye couldn’t stand to lose anyone else right now.

“Susan was a sweet woman, too,” Dawdi said. “It was a shame to lose her. But it’s been over a year and it’s time for you to live again. If you open your heart to love, you will find more joy than you ever thought possible.”

Open his heart to love? Jakob didn’t know how anymore. Even if he could do it, he didn’t want to try. When he’d married Susan, he’d locked his heart to all others. What if he loved another woman and lost her, too? He couldn’t stand to go through that pain a second time, nor did he want to put his children through it again.

“I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Susan,” he said.

“True. Susan was unique and you loved her for who she was. But Abby is unique, too. She’ll bring some man a lot of happiness. If you decide not to love again, then that’s the way it’ll be. But it doesn’t have to be like that. It’s your choice.”