New York City Docs

It always would be for her.

That fact should make her wary, should make her back away from him emotionally, even now. That’s what she was trying to do, actually. Accept that they’d always been more than compatible physically, even if they weren’t good as life partners.

She needed to be self-sufficient. He’d tended to smother… trying to take care of her, even when she’d longed to do things herself.

Traffic opened up suddenly, and Clay spent the next few minutes threading his vehicle through the congestion, making several turns before finally veering into the parking garage of what looked like an exclusive apartment building.

Of course it would be.

Even as the thought ran through her mind, she banished it. The brownstone she lived in wasn’t exactly a pauper’s abode, thanks to Holly’s family. Besides, tonight wasn’t about houses or money or anything else. It was about her needs and Clay’s needs and how they could come together to find a mutually satisfying solution.

The second he pulled his car into a space and shut off the engine he threaded his fingers through her hair and turned her face up for his kiss. And as soon as his lips met hers she knew there was no turning back. She and Clay were destined to reignite the fires of the past. She just hoped that when it was all over she’d have the strength and courage to put them out again.

CHAPTER TEN

TOUCHING HER MADE something inside him come alive.

And at the moment he wasn’t touching anything except her hand as they rode up in the elevator. But she was gripping back as if her very life depended on maintaining that contact.

If someone had told him four years ago that he’d find himself riding to his apartment with this woman, he’d have said they were crazy.

But maybe he was the crazy one. Setting himself up for another big knock to the gut.

Nope. No gut involved. Just that single night of summer madness he’d been craving for what seemed like ages. Nothing below skin level would be involved. Because anything she touched would be on the surface. No emotions. No longing. Just skin-to-skin contact that he could wash off with a single quick spray of his showerhead. Just like soap or shampoo. Once applied, he would simply rinse it all off again.

But didn’t most of the instructions on those packages say “Lather, rinse… repeat”?

Maybe one night should become two.

He tugged her closer, until their arms were touching. As long as he was smart about this, he could have sex with her as many times as he wanted and not be affected. After all, when Lizza had finally filed for divorce, it hadn’t hurt that much. In fact, he’d been relieved in some ways, except for the fact that Molly had been left without a mom for the most part.

He’d had superficial sex since then. Not very often, because he did have a daughter to think of. But the times he had, he’d been able to roll from beneath the woman’s sheets and get on with his life without a backward glance.

Except he hadn’t brought them to his place. He and Lizza had never even lived in this apartment. His home had become sacrosanct… a place reserved for him and Molly only.

So what was different now? He was about to violate his own unspoken rule: no liaisons of the sexual kind happened in the apartment. Ever.

Madness.

To keep from trying to rationalize things beyond that one word, he let go of her hand and draped his arm around her shoulders, allowing his fingertips to glide across the bare skin of her arm. On the second pass he moved the contact forward just a couple of inches, so that he was still on her arm, but the backs of his knuckles grazed the outside of her breast as he made his way back down. A shiver went through her.

The elevator stopped on his floor before he could do anything more.

And there was still a whole lot he wanted to do.

He spun her out of the elevator and against the door of his apartment, settling his mouth on hers in a way that he hoped left no question about what they were going to do. It wasn’t as if he thought she was going to angle for a cup of coffee and then flee for her life. But why take any chances?

When her palms landed on his butt, fingers splayed apart and urging him closer, he combusted, a flame shooting from his groin to the top of his head. She was evidently taking no chances, either.

He obliged her, pushing one knee between her legs and settling his stiff flesh against her thigh. Digging into his pocket for his key, he managed to get it into the lock beside her waist and twisted. The door gave way, and so did Tessa, tumbling to the hardwood floor and dragging him down with her. He was somehow able to keep from crushing her as he landed, her husky laugh washing over him in a flood he just couldn’t resist. So he stayed there, pushing the door shut with the sole of his shoe as he sank deeper into her soft curves, his aching flesh wanting nothing more than to yank her skirt up and be done with it. To hell with all the formalities.

But if he hurried it would be over.

As in… no second chances.

So he tried to rein himself in, thinking he would stand up calmly and lead her to the bedroom. But Tessa’s hands were on his ass again, only this time they’d somehow wormed their way beneath his waistband and briefs and were now on his bare skin. Her mouth found his at the same time, and he knew it was all over, because her kiss was warm and thorough, shot through with sensual promise.

He gave it one last shot. “My bedroom is just down the hallway.”

Her fingers traveled lower, setting off another set of explosions within his skull. Then she pulled her hands free. But before he could protest she shoved him up and over, until he was the one on his back and she was straddling his hips.

“Damn, Tess, if you wanted to be in charge, all you had to do was ask.”

She leaned over, elbows beside his shoulders, her breath washing over his lips. “I prefer to keep my opponent off guard.”

Hell if she hadn’t done that the whole time he’d known her. When she leaned over and gave his lower lip a quick bite, sucking it, his eyes closed as a wave of ecstasy swept over him.

“So I’m the opponent?” His voice came out rough, sounding very much as he felt—that what little control he had was rapidly crumbling.

She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a tiny black bra that barely covered the tops of her breasts. “If you fight me on this, absolutely.”

“Honey, I have no intention of fighting anything.” He decided to have some fun of his own, reaching up to take hold of the fabric barely holding in her curves and tugging it down to expose them completely. “I just thought you might want a soft bed to do this in.”

Her fingers trailed along his jawline and one brow edged up. “I don’t want a soft… anything.”

To prove her point, she widened her legs and settled fully against him, shifting her hips along his length.

No softness there. Just a pulsing need that wouldn’t quit.

Tessa balled her skirt up and allowed it to rest on the tops of her thighs, baring them, while she reached for the button of his slacks.

“Wait.” He gritted out the word. “I told you I don’t want this to be a quickie. I want to enjoy you.”

“After getting me all worked up in the car as we drove here? No chance. And, believe me, I intend to enjoy it. Fully. Deeply.” The button popped free, and his zip went down. “And I somehow think you’ll manage to come along for the ride.”

At the rate she was going it would be a very short trip. But if that’s the way she wanted it, who was he to turn her down?

Then she had him in her hands. Squeezing. Stroking. Driving him out of his mind.

“Condom.”

“Pill.”

“In that case…” He took hold of her butt with both hands and lifted her slightly, waiting for her to hold herself in that position. Then he reached beneath her skirt and found her panties. Moist heat met his touch as he edged aside the silky fabric. “Let’s see just how fully and deeply we can go.”

He guided himself into position. She immediately pushed down hard until she was fully seated, a soft sound coming from her lips as she paused there. “Damn.”

Damn? Damn?

“Too deep?” Afraid he was hurting her, he started to reach for her, only to have her wave away his hands.

“No. Too good.” She sat very still, her bared breasts rising and falling as she breathed in and out, mouth open, eyes closed.

Hadn’t she just suggested that she was going to make him pay for what he’d done in the car?

Too late for you to try to draw things out now, darling.

And he was going to make sure she suffered as much as he was suffering. One hand went to her breast and the other beneath her skirt, both finding their targets within seconds.

Her eyes flashed open. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Keeping my opponent off guard.” With that he pressed up deeper with his hips and used his thumb to glide over that most sensitive part of her.

Tessa moaned. “No, I won’t be able to—”

“Don’t, then, baby. Let it go.”

He kept up his assault, stoking with his hands and pumping with his hips, until she joined him, riding him, her hands on his shoulders.

A few seconds later her movements became jerky and erratic, fingertips digging into his skin.

Yes!

She cried out, and her flesh clenched down tight on him, sending a searing stream of pleasure through his system that he no longer tried to fight. Instead, he released his hold, his own orgasm breaking free with a violent series of spasms that made his vision go dark for several long seconds.

When he finally came back to himself Tessa was half lying across his chest, one arm curled around the top of his head.

They were a tangled mess of clothing and limbs.

And Clay wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Or maybe he would. Because he wasn’t done with her. Not yet.

So, keeping the contact between their bodies, he rolled her beneath him, his body already responding to the thoughts that were beginning to filter through his head. “Let’s say we try that again. Only this time in my bed. And without our clothes.”

She smiled up at him and the pure contentment on her face sent a twinge of warning through him that he ignored.

“What fun would that be?” she murmured.

“Oh, I bet we can figure something out. And I promise I can make it a whole lot of fun.”

Tessa actually laughed. “Then lead the way. And if you think I’m not going to hold you to that promise, buster, you’re very much mistaken.”

They had a small going-away party for Caren, just the housemates. But it was hard to concentrate on sending her friend off when her mind was on what she’d done last night with Clay. They’d made love several times and it had taken her until tonight when she’d opened up her packet of birth control pills to realize there were three extra pills in her little round compact.

She’d missed taking them the past three nights.

Three!

That had happened a couple of times over the past six months, but as she hadn’t been sleeping with anyone she hadn’t worried about it. Her night shifts always threw her schedule off, and it had been a crazy couple of weeks. Every other time she’d simply caught up with her dosage and gone on with life.

She swallowed as the implication hit her.

This wasn’t “every other time.”

Clay had offered to use a condom.

Why hadn’t she let him?

She’d been too caught up in her own greedy need to get him inside her, and she had no idea if the condom he’d talked about had been in his wallet or in another room of the house. And she hadn’t wanted him to get up.

Besides, she was on the Pill! Or she had been. And she hadn’t planned on spending the entire night at his place. She’d figured she’d just take it when she got home.

Panic flashed through her system. What if his sperm had already made its way to an egg?

Would taking a Pill now undo it all? Maybe.

Which is what you need to do!

Or there were morning-after pills. That might be the best route.

But hadn’t she been thinking about adoption or in vitro once her residency was completed? The image of herself holding Clay’s baby began growing in her head.

What if this was fate’s way of telling her to go for it? That now was the time?

And what about Clay? Did he have no say in the matter…? She didn’t know. Her emotions were a huge jumbled knot in her stomach.

She needed to give herself a few hours or a day to think this through. It wasn’t as if she had to decide in the next fifteen minutes.

Really?

God, she was setting herself up for a disaster. She was almost at the end of her residency—there was no way she could afford a pregnancy right now.

And especially not one with a man she’d ended things with four years ago.

What a mess.

Caren touched her arm. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. Of course it is.” She searched her mind for a believable reason for being so distant. “I’m just thinking about the festival. There are only two more weeks to get ready for it.”

“I know. You must be nervous. And it’s weird about those jars, but I’m sure it’s just some dummy playing around.” She winked.

Holly nodded, lowering her voice so that Sam, who was busy pouring their drinks, wouldn’t hear. “You know how things get blown out of proportion.”

“What things?” She had no idea what either of them were talking about.

The two women looked at each other. “The jars. The ones of you and Dr. Matthews,” Holly whispered. “Someone added something to them.”

“Added what?” Tessa had been far too distracted, her head racing with other, more pressing, worries.

Caren’s brows went up. “You haven’t seen them yet?”

She’d been too confused today to even look at them. Actually, she’d been avoiding looking at them like the plague. Because she somehow had to get up the nerve to keep on practicing with him or she’d have a lot of explaining to do to Peter Lloyd. And to Marcos. No way did she want to tell anyone what had happened between them last night.

Clay’s mom had shown up at eight o’clock this morning with Molly in tow. Tessa had been in the shower, still in a blissful haze after waking up to Clay’s lips on her neck. Only the Clay who’d poked his head into the bathroom had been a different man from the one who’d sunk into her two hours earlier. “My mom is here with Molly.”

Her heart had shuddered to a stop. “Meu Deus. What do you want me to do?”

She’d expected him to tell her to hide under the bed until he could sneak her out of the house. Instead, he’d shaken his head. “Nothing. I told them we had an emergency at the hospital and were exhausted. That you slept over.” He gave her a smile. “You were expecting to hide in a closet?”

Yes.

She brought herself back to the conversation at hand. Which she couldn’t seem to remember for the life of her. Oh, yeah. The collection jars. “We found out that the hospital administrator set them up. Are they overflowing or something?”

Holly glanced again at Sam, who was now headed toward them, juggling four glasses. “Just look at them when you get to the hospital in the morning, okay? You’d think that you and Dr. Matthews were dating.”

She sucked down a shocked breath, but before she could say anything else Sam was handing her a cranberry juice—she’d refused the wine, saying she wasn’t feeling all that well. Poor Caren. This wasn’t exactly the send-off she’d been looking to give her. And she would genuinely miss her.

“So when does Kimberlyn arrive again?”

“She’s supposed to start moving in the day of the festival, so I figure it’ll be a good way for her to see some of the hospital staff in a more laid-back setting.” Caren looked around at the group. “Make her feel welcome, okay? She’s been putting a lot of pressure on herself lately. If she doesn’t get that fellowship…”

Tessa laid a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure she feels at home. We’ll put up a sign and everything.”

Holly smiled, dropping onto one of the plush striped sofas that flanked the fireplace and taking a sip of her wine.

“I can tell her where all the cool shops are, or go with her if she needs anything. You just make sure you don’t catch any tropical diseases, or we’ll have to come down and rescue you.”

“I’ll be careful. Don’t get rid of my room or anything. I plan on taking up where I left off when I get back next year.”

This time Sam spoke up, his eyes glinting. “I’ll try to keep Holly from redecorating it while you’re gone.” Their male housemate might be quiet but his dry humor sometimes came out of nowhere, surprising them all.

They all laughed right on cue, and Sam emptied his glass of the last of his wine. “I can’t stay but, seriously, take care, kiddo. And keep in touch.”

“I will.” She gave him a hug. “I need to go, too. Would you mind lugging those two bags to the bottom of the stairs while I call a cab?”

“Will do.” Sam took his wineglass and set it on the counter by the sink. To Holly and Tessa he said, “See you sometime tonight.”

With that, he picked up their friend’s luggage as if it weighed nothing and headed out the door.

Tessa’s eyes moistened. “I’m going to miss you. More than you know.”

“I know. Me, too. But I’ll be back before you know it. Give Kimber any help she needs, okay?”

Holly gave Caren a quick hug as well, turning away quickly, probably on the verge of blubbering, just as Tessa was. “I’ll call the taxi service for you.”

Moving forward, Tessa gave her friend a long hug, feeling sadder than she should under the circumstances. This was a fabulous opportunity for Caren, and she should be glad for her.

She was. She was just feeling weepy and out of sorts for some reason today.

“Email me as soon as you can. And call if you need anything.”

“You can count on it, honey. Don’t go and get married or anything before I get back.”

That was one thing she could reassure Caren about. “I’m not planning on marrying anyone for a long, long time. Maybe even never. I have too much to prove to myself first.”

If things hadn’t gone south between her and Clay, she might already be married. But their relationship might have wound up on the rocks, like his other marriage. Part of Tessa wondered if she was even marriage material. She squirmed at the thought of a man wanting to protect her. Or pay her way.

She felt for any guy who ended up getting involved with her.

Caren glanced at her face and then smiled. “Be careful about saying never. And definitely look at those jars when you go to work tomorrow. And I hereby deny all knowledge.”

Something about the way she’d said that…

“Knowledge of what? Caren, what did you do?”

Holly came back over. “Taxi is en route.”

“Saved by the cab. Okay, I’ll go stand with my luggage so Sam doesn’t have to wait around. Love you guys.”

“Love you, too,” Tessa and Holly said.

Holly turned to her. “I need to run by the hospital and check on my schedule for next week.”

“I’ll straighten up.” Tessa was actually glad to be by herself for a few minutes. She’d been running on nerves since she left Clay’s this morning. Maybe she could take a bath in peace for once. It had been a long time, in fact, since she’d had a day off. It was sorely needed today of all days.

And it might give her a chance to figure out what to do, or at least work up the courage to do something that would make sure she wasn’t pregnant.

She waved the girls off and slumped into one of the chairs, where she sat for several minutes, just staring at the empty fireplace in front of her.

Her eyes closed and her hand slid across her tummy. “Please, God, don’t let me have to make that choice. Anything but that.”

A gust of wind blew against one of the windows, making it rattle in its frame. Somehow she couldn’t get it out of her mind that the Big Guy might just be looking down at her and laughing.

Clay was in the lobby when she arrived at work the next morning. And the man did not look happy.

Her stomach clenched, but she forced a smile. “Hi. You’re here early.” Tessa had purposely arrived a half hour before her shift. Obviously, if she’d been trying to avoid Clay, her plan had failed miserably.

And she still hadn’t started taking her her birth control pills, because she didn’t know if it would do any good at this point. But what she had done was decide to make an appointment with the head of Maternal Fetal medicine here at the hospital and see what she had to say.

You would think as a doctor Tessa could formulate her own professional opinion. And she could, medically speaking. But it wouldn’t be objective. And that’s what she needed right now, someone to talk her off whatever ledge she was standing on.

Clay still wasn’t smiling. “I need to warn you about something.”

This time it wasn’t her stomach muscles that reacted but her heart, the organ racing within her chest. “Warn me about…?”

Surely he didn’t know about the Pill fiasco.

No. How could he? She’d told him she was on them, and he’d obviously believed her. And she had been. She certainly hadn’t been lying or trying to pull any kind of funny business.

And if she wound up pregnant… would he still believe her then? That it had just been a fluke?

“Come with me.”

She shied back from him as if he was going to grab her hand, which of course he wouldn’t. Not here at the hospital.

They did have practice today, so they would have seen each other at some point anyway.

His eyes narrowed as he studied her for a minute, then he simply spun on his heel and walked toward the bank of elevators. Left to her own devices, she followed him, assuming that’s what he wanted. He pushed the button for her floor. “You might want to do something about it.”

Again her heart skipped a time or two.

Stop it, Tessa. He has no idea that you missed taking your contraceptives.

She didn’t ask what he wanted her to do something about, figuring that’s why he’d come up to the floor with her. Maybe there was a problem with a patient. Or maybe even the one they’d worked on together. Except he wouldn’t be on this floor.

“Is Mr. Phillips okay?”

He glanced back at her. “As far as I know. I haven’t checked on him today.” He motioned at the desk.

Her eyes skipped across it, seeing the two collection jars.

Wait. The jars. Caren and Holly had mentioned them, and Caren had denied any wrongdoing.

She walked slowly toward the desk, her eyes on the clear glass containers that were now lined with green bills. They were both stuffed almost full.

And then she saw it.

The labels had been changed.

Oh, God.

The simple names the jars had sported before had morphed into hand-drawn likenesses of them. Only these were no ordinary pictures. They’d each been made to look as if they were puckering up. And the jars been turned so the lips met… so she and Clay appeared to be kissing.

Each other.

She made a low sound of distress, and Clay moved to stand beside her. “It’s obvious that someone saw us outside the hospital.”

“Are they all like this?” she whispered.

“Every single one of them. It isn’t Lloyd’s doing this time.” His breath whistled out in a long pained sigh. “And the worst thing is, we’re not the only ones who’ve seen them.”

Since the jars were in an open area on every floor, that stood to reason. “I guess the whole hospital knows about that kiss, then.” She groaned, knowing there were going to be endless comments and speculation about what was going on between her and Clay.

And if she suddenly wound up pregnant?

She swallowed hard.

“Yes, the whole hospital knows.” He turned to face her. “And so do my mother and Molly.”