Falling For His Convenient Queen

‘What would change if you realised you couldn’t trust me? Would you return to Mattan?’

Something flickered in her eyes. ‘It would change things.’

‘Would it? So you’d tell Xavier and Leyna that you can’t go through with the wedding and put the entire alliance at risk?’

‘It’s interesting how you’ve turned this around. How you’ve made risking the alliance sound like it isn’t something you’ve been doing from the moment you refused to see Xavier and Leyna after you became King.’ She leaned forward. ‘Like you aren’t holding us hostage now and still doing it.’

She was right. But he couldn’t afford to think of it that way. If he did, he’d have to pay heed to the emotions circling inside him like sharks around prey. He couldn’t allow them to attack. Not when the threat of them had been propelling him forward, helping him to focus on what Kirtida needed.

He’d been telling the truth when he’d told her he had more on the line than she did. He’d somehow managed to convince Xavier and Leyna that they needed him just as much as he needed them. But that wasn’t true. Zacchaeus needed them more.

If Macoa acted on the threat of economic sanctions, it would cripple Kirtida’s economy. Worse still, his people would no longer have the wheat so many depended on for their livelihood. Without Mattan and Aidara adding weight to any retaliation, Kirtida would be forced to give in to Macoa’s demands.

And giving in would kill his father.

It wasn’t an option.

‘It might not change what I’d do,’ she continued now, her voice no longer heated with the passion she’d just spoken with. ‘But it would make me feel better about marrying you. So, I’ll ask one more time. Will you spend time with me?’

‘I’m a king. I don’t have time—’

‘Make time,’ she insisted. ‘Make time to get to know the woman who’s going to be beside you while you rule your kingdom.’

He so badly wanted to say yes. Not only because something about her made him want to give her exactly what she asked for, but also because saying yes would mean that he wouldn’t have the much harder task of avoiding her. Of pretending that he didn’t have secrets to keep from her. Like his father’s illness, his mother’s fleeing—and the mess his mother’s actions had left for him to clean up.

But he couldn’t say yes. Not when spending time with her would put all those secrets at risk. He ignored the reasons he felt that way—ignored the beseeching expression on Nalini’s face that had just as much of an effect on his chest as her beauty did. No, he thought. He couldn’t spend time with her.

‘I’m sorry, Nalini. I can’t agree to that.’

* * *

‘You can’t agree to spend time with me?’

Nalini’s heart thumped in her chest as she said the words, a sick feeling settling in her stomach. She’d thought that when Zacchaeus had told her he knew she was on Kirtida to get to know him as well as to plan the wedding, it had meant that he’d been willing to play along.

Asking him to spend time with her had felt too much like begging, and now his refusal of her... It felt intensely personal. As if he could make time but wouldn’t because he didn’t want to spend it with her.

‘And you really think I’m going to spend all my time planning a wedding?’

‘I’ll have my secretary draw up a list of things you can do on Kirtida. You’ll be so busy you won’t even notice that you’re alone.’

She gave a short bark of laughter. ‘Has that ever worked for you?’

His eyes narrowed. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

‘You’re alone here, aren’t you? Your parents don’t live in the castle and whatever relationship you had with them must have been spoilt the moment you became King. I can’t imagine you have any friends, and you’re holding your allies hostage. So tell me, Zacchaeus, whether you’ve ever been so busy that you haven’t noticed you’re alone?’

The expression on his face twisted with an emotion she couldn’t identify, and then went blank so quickly she doubted her eyes. But when he spoke the coldness in his voice told her she hadn’t imagined it.

‘If I agree to spend time with you, Nalini... What happens then?’ His brows lifted. ‘You’ve already told me you’ll marry me, and you’re implying that you trust me to act as we agreed by doing that. So what happens if you get to know me and it doesn’t make you feel better?’

‘It...it would—’

‘It might not,’ he interrupted mildly. ‘You already have all the proof you need to show you that I’m not a good man. I’ve overthrown my father to become King, so you know I’m power-hungry. My parents don’t live in the castle any more, so you know I’m cruel.’ He pushed away his plate and leaned his forearms on the table, angling himself so that she had no choice but to look into the arresting lines of his face. ‘I demanded that you marry me without even asking you how you felt about it, so you know I only care about what I want. Do you really want to get to know a man like that?’

‘You want me to see that man,’ she said, fighting to keep the panic she felt from her voice. ‘For some reason, you think it’s easier.’

‘No, Nalini. You’re the one who thinks this situation is easier than it is.’ He sat back now. ‘You’re hoping that I’m not that man, and that’s why you want to get to know me. But I’m sorry, I don’t have time to quell your fears. You told me you made this choice. And the thing about making choices is that you have to deal with their consequences.’

She suddenly wanted to scream at him, to tell him that she knew everything about choices and their consequences. She could still feel the girls pulling at her jewellery and clothes that night on the beach. She could still hear the boys laughing at her panic. Worst of all, she could still see Josh’s face as he laughed with them, the person who’d told her he’d keep her safe gone, leaving only the sick realisation that he’d never existed.

And then there was the way her family had reacted after...

The fact that she was on Kirtida, having this conversation with him, was her dealing with the consequences of her actions.

But, of course, she could voice none of that.

‘Fine,’ she said quietly. ‘I won’t waste my time trying to find some redeeming quality in you.’

She saw the surprise but it faded quickly. ‘Good. Because you won’t.’ With those words, he walked out of the room.

She sat there for a moment, not entirely sure what to do, and then stood. It took her another few minutes to figure out that she didn’t know where her room was, and was about to ask when a young woman came up to her.

‘Your Royal Highness, His Majesty King Zacchaeus has asked me to show you to your room.’

Nalini’s chest loosened in relief. ‘Thank you.’

She followed the woman—Sylvia—as her thoughts swirled around what had just happened. She had been so sure that Zacchaeus had wanted to say yes to her. That he would have said yes to her, but that he’d stopped himself.

Or had that just been in her mind?

She hated the uncertainty, that special kind of doubt that she hadn’t felt in nine years. Or perhaps the kind of doubt she’d felt every day for those nine years. But it felt more acute now, though that was probably normal. Nalini hadn’t made a decision of her own—not really—in that amount of time. She shouldn’t be surprised now, after she had, that she was being reminded of the fears that had stemmed from that fateful night.

She reminded herself that this decision had been nothing like the one nine years ago. Nalini had gone into this one with her eyes open. And yes, perhaps she’d hoped that Zacchaeus would be on the same page as her. That she could find some common ground between them so that marrying him wouldn’t be so completely terrifying. But now that she knew where she stood, she had to accept it.

She would accept it.

She murmured her thanks to Sylvia when they got to the room, and waited to be alone before she looked around. Like the rest of the castle, the room was a mixture of old and new. It was spacious, the walls and beige carpet no doubt old, but modernised by a king-size bed covered in white that matched the chiffon curtains. Large windows stood above a chaise longue and Nalini immediately opened them, breathing in the fresh sea air.

The day had changed, she noted. The sun had been eclipsed by clouds, the sky a grey colour that felt ominous. The water thrashed against the pier that was visible from her window, and when she leaned forward she could see the faint outline of the castle of Mattan.

The longing for home pulsed in her veins but she knew she couldn’t go back. Perhaps that was why the longing felt so desperate. If she went back she would be returning to a life she’d never thought she’d have. A life where she did everything that was expected of her just so that she could prove she’d learnt from her mistakes.

But she’d seen how her sister, Alika, and Xavier’s lives had turned out because they’d followed all the expectations of them. It had made them incredibly unhappy, and she’d dreaded that future for herself. But she’d been afraid to do anything about it. Because once, a long time ago, she had done something about it and it had broken her heart—and her dreams—in one night.

But when Xavier had announced his engagement with Leyna she’d been given a glimpse of a life she could have. And when she’d last spoken with Alika she had realised her two options.

On the one hand, she could choose to disobey her mother and grandmother to protect her kingdom. They might not be happy with her decision, but for the sake of Mattan they would accept it and acknowledge that it was a responsible choice.

At least that was what she hoped.

It was an added benefit that being on Kirtida would give her the freedom of making her own decisions. She could regain that excitement for life she’d lost so long ago. She could have her independence.

On the other hand, she could listen to them and stay. She could keep on living the life she’d been living. She’d marry a man her mother and grandmother had chosen, just like Alika had, and be unhappy. Just like Alika was.

Alika would never say it aloud, but Nalini knew her older sister. And though Nalini no longer expected love or happiness, she’d hoped for contentment at the very least. Alika had always accepted her fate without complaining. And sometimes Nalini wished she could be like that too. But she wasn’t. She knew that if she wanted her chance at contentment she couldn’t just accept, or do, what was expected. And Zacchaeus’s proposal—if it could be called that—had come at exactly the right time for her to act on her realisation.

So she’d gone for the first option. Which had brought her here. To an island where she knew no one except the man who had demanded that she marry him. Who was refusing to spend any time with her, leaving her completely alone.

But she couldn’t go back home.

A knock on the door roused her from her thoughts and she opened it to see Sylvia again.

‘Your Royal Highness, I’m sorry to interrupt. His Majesty King Zacchaeus has requested to see you in an hour.’

Nalini frowned. ‘Why?’

‘I’m not sure, ma’am. All he said was that he had a proposition for you. Shall I tell him you’ll be there?’

A proposition, she mused. From the man who’d turned down her own barely an hour ago.

Interesting.

‘Please do.’

CHAPTER THREE

‘YOU WANTED TO see me?’

Nalini’s voice pulled him from his work and Zacchaeus looked up to see her standing in the doorway of his library. She had changed from earlier and was now wearing black trousers and a white shirt. The shirt was loose, cut into a V at her neck, and gave him only the barest glimpse of bronze skin. It was in no way inappropriate and yet, by the way his body reacted, he could have sworn that she was hardly wearing anything.

‘Yes. Did you settle in well?’ he asked in a gruff voice.

‘Fine, thank you,’ she answered, her tone perfectly polite—cool, even—and so very different to the passionate tone she’d used earlier.

That was his fault, and he was helpless to change it. He’d acted exactly like the man he was trying to convince her he was. Power-hungry, cruel, selfish. And though he might not entirely be that man, he wasn’t who she wanted him to be either. In fact, he was probably closer to the man he’d told her he was than the man she wanted him to be.

Or did he just believe that because of how his parents had treated him?

‘Can I get you something to drink?’ he asked to distract himself.

‘No, thank you.’ She paused. ‘Why am I here?’

Right to the point then. Not that he could blame her. He gestured for her to sit and, after hesitating, she took the seat opposite him.

‘I was hoping I could talk to you about something my advisors brought to my attention.’

‘I’m listening.’

‘Well, they seem to think your suggestion that we spend time together... They think it’s a good idea.’

Her eyebrows rose. ‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘But...’

‘Publicly.’

‘Why?’

‘So that your soon-to-be people will get to know their future Queen, as you said.’ He swallowed, and wondered why he suddenly felt nervous. ‘They’ll get to see us together. The couple who will rule them. And it’ll help them become more comfortable with the idea.’

‘You had to have your advisors tell you that it would be a good idea?’

‘They had a good point.’

‘You just didn’t want to hear that point from me?’

He kept his mouth shut. Because he couldn’t tell her the truth. That he had thought she’d made a good point, but was worried that it wouldn’t turn out as positive as she’d made it seem. His kingdom had been...tense since Zacchaeus had become King and though they had seemed relieved that he was marrying Nalini, preserving the alliance between the isles, he didn’t want to tempt fate. Not until he had the chance to speak to his advisors.

‘So what would this entail?’

‘It would be a business agreement,’ he answered. ‘We’d make appointments to arrange things for the wedding. Together. Publicly.’

The time she took to respond had him holding his breath.

‘I had a conversation with Sylvia when you sent her to ask me here this evening. The woman who showed me to my room?’

‘Yes, I know.’

‘Just making sure,’ she said easily. Her expression gave nothing away. Unless, of course, it did, and he just couldn’t read it because he didn’t know her. ‘She was telling me how...challenging it’s been for the kingdom to accept their new King.’

He clenched his teeth. So much for not telling her about that. ‘You must have misheard.’

‘No, I don’t think I did.’ Her eyes darkened. ‘Clearly your advisors are trying to help you regain the trust of your people after the coup. And how better than a wedding? To remind them of the traditions of the royal family. Make them believe in fairy tales. Weddings are the start of something beautiful, hopeful, and seeing the King who ended the reign of their well-loved ruler—his father—at a new beginning might just make them more open to his new beginning. As King.’

‘You’re right. But I needed to check with them to make sure that what you were suggesting would work.’

He saw the surprise, but she only nodded. ‘That’s fair, I suppose.’

‘So you agree?’

‘I don’t exactly have a choice, do I?’ She clasped her hands together on her lap and he found himself saying words he knew he shouldn’t be saying.

‘You have a choice, Nalini. You’ll always have a choice here.’

Emotion filled her eyes before it was replaced by cool indifference. ‘Of course I will. I only meant that it wasn’t like I could return to Mattan.’ She blinked and quickly added, ‘Because it would put them in danger.’

‘That’s not what you meant.’

‘What else could I possibly mean?’

‘That’s what I’m asking.’ He studied her, noting that she was avoiding looking at him and knew his gut feeling had been right. ‘There’s more to why you’re here, Nalini, isn’t there?’

‘You didn’t exactly propose this arrangement as a question.’

‘Yes, but you’ve already told me you chose to do this. Tell me why.’

‘I have,’ she replied stubbornly. ‘I’m here for Mattan.’

‘And yet the more I get to know you, the more I think that isn’t the only reason.’

‘But since this is a business arrangement, as you said, I don’t have to tell you anything other than what I want to.’

Her face lit with the challenge, but there was a dullness in her eyes that...that bothered him. He couldn’t place a finger on why—wasn’t sure he wanted to—and instead he asked, ‘So, you agree then?’

‘Yes.’

‘Great. We’ll make appointments to plan the wedding. I’ll have my secretary arrange a schedule for us and I’ll send it to you for approval.’

She nodded. ‘Is that all?’

‘No, actually there’s one more thing.’ But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

‘You have something planned already, don’t you?’ Her mouth relaxed into what he thought was the beginning of a smile. His body tightened.

‘I don’t have anything planned. But there is...a plan. An appointment for us, really.’

‘What is it?’

‘An...engagement shoot. Tomorrow.’ Damn it, he felt foolish even saying it.

‘An engagement shoot,’ she repeated, and laughed. It was a soft, happy sound that made him think of a music box. ‘You must hate the thought of that so much.’

‘It has to be done.’

‘Of course,’ she responded in a grave tone that echoed his, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

His lips twitched. ‘So, you’re fine with this?’

‘My schedule happens to be open,’ she said wryly. ‘Why not?’

‘Good.’ He frowned. ‘I didn’t expect it to be that easy.’

‘I’m here to serve at your pleasure, Your Majesty.’

It took some time for her to realise that she’d said something provocative, and when she did her eyes widened and colour flooded her skin.

‘I didn’t mean—’

He couldn’t help the smile now, even though his attempts at dimming his body’s reaction to her unintended suggestion had proved futile. ‘I know.’

‘It’s because you make me nervous.’

‘Why?’

‘I’m not entirely sure.’ She gave him a chagrined smile, but there was emotion on her face that paralysed him and he couldn’t look away. ‘Maybe it’s because today was the first time you and I have really spoken. The events we’ve seen each other at...’ Her voice faded and he quickly figured out why.

He’d kept himself apart from the Mattanian and Aidaraen royal families at those events. Oh, he’d greeted, had done his duty, but the ease that had always been between the two families hadn’t included him. Of his own accord, he knew, and realised that Nalini was referring to that one-sidedness he’d embraced. But he’d known what was at risk if he’d become one of them. His family’s most well-kept secret.

His mother’s affair.

‘Or it could just be because you’re a little scary, King Zacchaeus.’

Despite what he’d been thinking of, that drew a smile from him. ‘You’re not the first person to say that.’

‘No, I don’t imagine I am,’ she replied softly, and her mouth curved up in the smallest of smiles.

For the first time, Zacchaeus realised he was in trouble. No, he corrected, taking in what that smile did to the already lovely features of her face—and what it did to his heart rate. He’d known he was in trouble the moment he’d come up with the hare-brained plan to marry Nalini.

He’d convinced himself, just as he had Xavier, Leyna and Nalini, that it had been for the sake of the alliance. And, up until that moment, he’d believed that that was the only reason. Except now he remembered how often his eyes had strayed to Nalini at every event. How her smile, polite as it had been, had made it the tiniest bit harder to breathe.

He thought about how he’d felt after he’d left the discussion with Leyna and Xavier the day he’d told them of his plan—the anger at their responses, the fear that it would put Kirtida at risk—and how it had changed when he’d seen Nalini in the castle passage. He’d felt longing. Hope.

And he’d wished with all his might that his hare-brained plan would work just so that he could have that feeling for the rest of his life.

‘Does it bother you?’ she asked, studying him. For one irrational moment he thought she was asking about his feelings for her. ‘That people think you’re scary, I mean,’ she clarified, and he told himself to get a grip.

‘I don’t care what people think of me,’ he said in a cool tone, hoping it would have the same effect on his emotions. ‘What I care about is that they do what they’re supposed to do. What I ask them to.’

‘I’m afraid you might not entirely succeed in that with me.’

‘Yes,’ he answered wryly. ‘I didn’t think I would.’

‘Now you’re not the first person to say that about me.’

He rested his forearms on his thighs and leaned forward. ‘Do you mean Princess Nalini of Mattan was a problem child?’

‘Depends on who you ask,’ she said lightly, but all trace of humour disappeared from her face. ‘What should I wear for the shoot?’

The change in subject happened so quickly, so smoothly, that he had to take a moment to adjust. And, though he didn’t press, it intrigued him.

‘I’ve arranged for a few dresses to be sent to your room. You can choose whichever one you’d feel most comfortable in.’

She nodded. ‘Are we done?’

‘For now.’

‘Then I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She stood and smoothed the fabric of her trousers.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he repeated and got up with her. They stood like that as the seconds passed and then she finally walked to the door, but turned back before going through it.

‘One meal.’ When he lifted his eyebrows, she continued. ‘We’ll share one meal a day. You can choose whichever one you’d like.’

He wanted to smile at the brazen request—at the nerve—but all he gave her was a grudging, ‘Fine.’ She walked out then, and Zacchaeus’s eyes stayed on the door until he realised he had no reason to keep staring at it.

He walked to his desk and, leaning back in his chair, took in the view through the glass doors leading to his balcony. The night was clear, seemingly unaffected by the misery of the afternoon. And, as he had so many times before, he silently thanked the designer who’d made sure the furniture arrangement would give him an unobstructed view of the sea.

The stretch of water always gave him a sense of purpose and, right now, he had to accept that that purpose was to protect his kingdom. And protecting his kingdom meant focusing on the negotiations he was having with Leyna and Xavier and getting to his wedding day so that he would finally be able to sign the papers that would ensure it.

He couldn’t afford to be enthralled by his fiancée. He couldn’t even afford to like her—if he listened to his father. Jaydon had warned him against trusting Nalini, though Zacchaeus knew Jaydon’s warning had come from his own experience with Zacchaeus’s mother.

The woman who’d caused the drama he was currently dealing with.

Zacchaeus couldn’t even be glad that she wasn’t in Kirtida any more. Not when her departure had made his father’s already weak heart worsen. Not when her leaving was the reason that Zacchaeus had been forced into being King before he’d been ready. Not when she was the reason his kingdom was being threatened by sanctions—perhaps even by war—because Kirtida couldn’t give in to Macoa’s demands.

Not if Zacchaeus wanted to keep his father alive.

Perhaps not liking Nalini was the best route to go. If only he could figure out how...

CHAPTER FOUR

‘THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS,’ Zacchaeus grumbled under his breath, and Nalini grinned. It was impossible not to smile at his grumpiness, especially when she was quite enjoying herself.

‘Oh, stop frowning,’ she said. ‘Or people will think that you don’t really want to marry me.’

‘Or they’ll think I really hate pictures. Especially fluffy ones.’