We’ve Always Got New York

“Listen, if anything changes I’ll let you know,” she offered. She wasn’t even looking at me now, her attention was completely dominated by her cell phone.

“Sure. No problem,” I grimaced.

I waited a few more seconds and then, without Cassie even noticing, I slipped off the counter stool and headed back to her guest room.

Chapter 4

Olivia

I had just gotten off the phone with my dad when I heard a loud, urgent knock on my door. I glanced at the clock, four in the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting anyone. When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Amalia. She was standing there with a suitcase and a broken smile. Her curly blonde hair was frizzier than usual, and her blue eyes were wet and red. She had either just been crying or she was coming down with the flu.

“Holy crap! What are you doing here?” I gasped.

She rolled her puffy eyes and placed her suitcase on the floor, all the while still standing in my doorway.

“I’m back!” she said, with faux enthusiasm. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes, I can see that. Well, welcome back!” I pulled her in for a hug. “I thought you were staying with Cassandra!”

“Well, I am. I mean, I was,” she mumbled. “I think. I’m not sure anymore.” She paused for a moment. “I don’t think I want to stay with her.”

“What do you mean? Why not?” I motioned for her to come inside. “Did something happen?”

Amalia sat down on my couch and ran her fingers through her hair. I think she noticed how frizzy it was becoming because seconds later she pulled a small mirror from her purse and tried to smooth it out.

“Well, I got there last night and she just seemed so distracted. I mean I understand everyone has their own shit going on, but I had just come home after being gone for three months!” she said, her eyes tearing up. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, and began again. “I wanted to just crash when I landed, but she dragged me out to Fire Island until four in the morning! I have no idea who any of the people were that she was hanging out with. In all seriousness, she flat-out ignored me the whole time we were there. I mean, I just got back to New York and I figured she’d want to spend some time with her best friend, you know?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but she wasn’t done yet.

“And then this morning, I’m trying to ask her about this guy she ’might have a date with‘, and she acts like I’m the C.I.A debriefing her on her latest mission. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I don’t feel comfortable staying there. I don’t feel welcomed.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand why she acted that way,” I offered, genuinely unsure.

“I don’t either. It’s like she’s changed. Or something,” she muttered, shaking her head. Her face was washed with disbelief and anxiety. “Did the two of you hang out at all this summer while I was gone?”

“No. I haven’t seen her since that day at your apartment when we all said goodbye to you,” I said. Amalia sunk her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I wish I had more to go on.”

She looked at the floor and then back up to me. Her eyes started to water-up again, but she shook her head in an effort to compose herself.

“Great to be back,” she mumbled with a cracking voice.

“You must be exhausted,” I placed my hand lightly on her back. “Do you want some tea?”

“That would be great, thank you.”

I walked into the kitchen and turned on the electric kettle, a little gift from Alex. Looking back at Amalia, who was now holding her head in her hands and shaking her head. She had come so far last year, realizing she didn’t want to put up with Michael’s indecision anymore. Last year was a nightmare for her. She had gotten dumped cold by her boyfriend, Nicholas, only to fall head over heels for Michael. We all knew Michael had a girlfriend who lived in Arizona, but he kept his personal life so private I could see how easily Amalia could have put it in the back of her mind. From my perspective, he strung her along all semester. When he finally decided to break up with his girlfriend, Marge, Amalia was already packed and ready to leave for her trip to Brazil. I was so proud of her for not abandoning her plans. After all her growth and self-discovery, it was hard for me to see her have to deal with Cassandra’s selfish personality.

“Where are you going to stay?” I called from the kitchen.

She let out a soft, breathy laugh.

“Well, it looks like I am heading back home to stay with my parents,” she called to me. “I haven’t even spoken to them since I left, so that should be interesting.”

I could see new tears forming in her eyes. Between the crying and her unkempt disposition, she looked like a crazy person.

“It’s fine, really,” she waved her hand and let out a soft hiccup. “I mean it only takes about 15 minutes by train for me to get to the ferry, and then it’s only half an hour on the ferry itself. Followed by another 20 minutes on the subway and then a short 10-minute walk to school.” Her hands were starting to shake. I wondered how long it had been since she last ate something. “So you know, if I have class at 8 in the morning, I have to leave my house by about 6:30 just to play it safe. But hey, I’ve always been a fan of watching the sun rise.”

Her eyes were wide and unblinking. She brought her hands up to her face and just left them there, as if she needed to hold her head up to stop it falling off. It was obvious that she was desperately exhausted, probably still jet-lagged.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, pouring the now-boiled water. “You can stay here for a few days.”

“Are you serious?” she said, suddenly perking up. She removed her hands from her face and clapped them together. “I won’t be in your way, I promise.”

I laughed and handed her my old University of Florida mug that I got at orientation my first day of college.

“I’m completely serious. It’s not a big deal at all,” I said. “But you might want to avoid any further homelessness by finding an apartment of your own.”

I always wondered why Amalia got rid of that fantastic apartment she had in the Village. I assumed it was because of all the bad memories. Or the high cost. Money was something our group very rarely talked about. We all just sat in silent wonder about how the other afforded their apartment.

“I think I’ll grab The Village Voice while I’m out today and start checking some listings,” she offered.

“That’s a good idea,” I sipped my green tea. “You know what else might be a good idea?”

“What?” she asked.

“A shower.”

Chapter 5

Amalia

I slept throughout the night. Hard. A solid eight hours had never felt so good. Bright and early the next morning, I began my quest for the perfect apartment. There was no possible way I could move back in with my parents and survive the school year. Or just survive in general. Being twenty-three and living with your parents isn’t something I’d wish on anyone, especially not in New York.

Like anyone shopping around for a new place to call home, I had a few requirements. To begin with, I preferably wanted a one-bedroom. I’d settle for a studio if it was all I could afford, but the one thing I did not want anymore was roommates. Overall, Christina was fine. She was respectful and quiet. Liz, on the other hand, was a terrible roommate. Completely inconsiderate and rude. I felt like it was time to try living on my own. I craved the privacy.

The next requirement was that it be close to school. Anything higher than 40th Street, and I’d have to rush to get to class on time every day. Unfortunately my school was located in Washington Square Park, which was anything but affordable, so living in that neighborhood wasn’t an option. And finally, and most importantly, I would not even consider living in any other borough. That meant no Astoria, no Bushwick, and definitely no Long Island City. And don’t even think about uttering the words Hoboken, New Jersey, to me. I told Olivia all of these requirements over breakfast in her apartment this morning, to which she scratched her head, pursed her lips, and said, “Good luck with that.”

With Olivia’s help, I had three viewings lined up this afternoon. Originally it was four, but when the words “up-and-coming neighborhood in Brooklyn” fell out of her mouth, I quickly emailed the real-estate agent to put the kibosh on it. One apartment I was viewing was a studio close to school in the West Village, another was a one-bedroom in Murray Hill, and the third was a studio that was somehow ”converted” into a one-bedroom in Hell’s Kitchen. The last one in Hell’s Kitchen was far from school, but I conceded to a viewing just to make Olivia happy.

After a quick caffeine-fix at Bourbon Coffee on 6th Avenue, we made our way up to 7th Avenue and then walked a few blocks down to check out the first apartment in the Village.

“315,” I said, squinting up at the address on the top of the building. “This is it.”

It was one of those last truly warm days of summer. In about two weeks, fall would kick in and the city would go back to normal. Gray, windy, and cold. Today, the sun was glaring down on me, reminding me of the strong rays I felt in Brazil.

“How’s Aaron doing?” Olivia asked quickly, as if she forgot my brother existed. Aaron and I had gotten much closer last year when his girlfriend broke up with him. He spent some time sleeping on my couch and bonding with my friends. Even though he was a few years younger than me, he was mature enough to hold his own in Manhattan any day of the week.

“He’s good,” I replied. “Busy with school.”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “Aren’t we all?”

“I miss him, though. Hopefully he comes for a visit soon.”

“What about Cassandra?” Olivia asked, holding the door open for me. “Have you spoken to her?”

The bleak, gray apartment building wasn’t very tall, maybe about five or six storeys high. I could see as soon as we entered that it was a walk-up.

“Not since I called her to let her know I was staying with you,” I said, climbing up the first set of stairs. Each step made a loud, echoing sound throughout the empty stairwell. “And by called her, I mean rambled to her voicemail because she didn’t answer the phone. She hasn’t actually called me back, either.”

“When was this?” Olivia asked, holding onto the banister with each step.

“Last night,” I answered. “You had already fallen asleep.”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t called you back yet,” she grimaced as we made our way up the second flight of stairs. “She’s still your best friend.”

“Believe me, no one’s more surprised than I am,” I puffed. I took a deep breath and held it in for a second. I stopped short and grabbed the metal railing for balance. “Okay, no more talking until we get to the fourth floor.”

Olivia let out a long breath and nodded in agreement. A short eternity later, and one quick realization of just how out of shape I was, we made it to apartment number 427 and knocked on the door. A short, dark-haired guy answered. He was wearing a checkered button-down with the sleeves rolled up, tight jeans, and a pair of Converse sneakers. He rubbed his blood-shot eyes, and reached toward a small table by the front door of his apartment, retrieving a pair of thick, black-rimmed glasses. He looked like someone who was rejected from the line at the Limelight back in 1989.

“Hey,” was all he managed to spit out. He peeked his head out past the threshold and darted his eyes around the poorly lit hallway.

I turned to Olivia and raised my eyebrows, but she remained cool and composed.

“Hi, I’m Olivia Davis,” she said, politely extending her right hand and gave the guy a warm smile.

The guy turned his attention back to us, but stared at her blankly.

“We spoke on the phone about renting the apartment,” she continued, sounding a little more annoyed.

“Oh right!” he said, suddenly coming to life. “I’m Eddie, uh, come on in.”

We walked into the dim apartment and were immediately hit with thick, blanketed air. I turned to Olivia and made a fanning motion with my hand in front of my nose.

“Did we interrupt something?” I asked, my eyes darting to a half-smoked joint burning in the ashtray.

“Oh shit,” he sprung over to the coffee table. “I must have forgotten to put that out. I’m sorry, I thought you were coming over at 4 o’clock.”

“It is 4 o’clock,” Olivia answered softly.

There was a brief moment of silence. Eddie laughed nervously and walked over to the window, struggling with it until it opened. It made a shrill sound as it slid up, and Olivia and I both winced. I made eye contact with Olivia, who was now shaking her head. The apartment was very small, about the size of my childhood bedroom. The floors looked like fake hardwood and were actually starting to peel up in some corners. The walls were painted gray, but had more than a few white spackle marks covering some decent-sized holes. The fake granite-looking counter top had a red stain on it, which appeared to be permanent, and the refrigerator had a moderately sized dent in the middle. There was no couch, just an old futon, which appeared to function as both a sitting and bedroom area. The only thing missing was a swinging bare light bulb and a rotting corpse in the corner.

“Do you know how much the landlord wants for this apartment?” I mumbled in a near whisper, silently wishing we were in the wrong building.

“Um, actually the payment won’t be going through the landlord,” Eddie said, brushing some moldy potato-chip crumbs off the brown futon. “I’d be handling it on my end.”

“What do you mean?” Olivia asked, suspicion in her voice. “Why would you be handling the payment instead of the landlord?”

“Well, I’m not moving out for good,” he took a seat on the futon. I scrunched my face as I wondered how anyone could sit on something so foul. “I’m going to be subletting the apartment. You know, while I’m on the road with my band.”

“Okay, then. Does your landlord know about this?” I asked, “And how much would you be charging?”

“The rent’s $2,000 a month,” he said nonchalantly, as if he was rattling off the price of a cup of coffee.

“Right,” I nodded, waiting for Olivia to smile. I let out a low, breathy laugh and repeated him. “2,000 dollars a month.”

I looked at this guy, expecting him to burst out laughing and tell me it was a joke.

“Also, the landlord doesn’t technically know I’d be subletting it to you,” he continued. “So you’d have to be really quiet and stuff. Like, you definitely couldn’t have a dog.”

I put both of my hands in the air and shook my head.

“You’re not kidding about the price?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

Eddie just shook his head and twisted his face into a look of pity. I was getting pity from the guy who lived here.

“Okay wait a minute, let me get this straight,” I moved a little closer to him, stepping over a pile of comic books. “You want me to pay $2,000 dollars a month, to illegally sublet your 300-square-foot, potato-chip-encrusted stoner pad?”

“Yeah,” he said in a flat tone. “This is New York. That’s what apartments go for.”

I turned to Olivia, who had already slid into the hallway. I kept up my right hand to the guy, who was now silently judging me.

“No thank you, Eddie,” I said, backing away toward the door. “I’d rather live in Weehawken.”

“Suit yourself,” he said, closing the door behind us. As soon as I heard the lock turn, loud music started playing from his apartment. I could feel the hallway floor vibrating from the base. This was not a safe building.

I let out a loud grunt and dramatically pointed toward the staircase. Olivia gave me a shy smile and patted me on the back.

“Lucky number 2?” she said, her face turning red from holding back laughter.

I just glared at her and shook my head. I was unable to speak, too stunned by the experience.

“Come on, Amalia, say something!” she threw her arms in the air, but quickly lost her balance and reached back for the bannister.

“Ugh, this is New York,” I mocked, in a deep pseudo-masculine voice. “That’s what things cost.”

“I know, he’s ridiculous!” she said. “That’s about what I pay for my apartment in Brooklyn, and mine’s almost twice the size of that!”

“That apartment smelled like old Chinese food and blood,” I declared, making my way down the first flight of stairs.

“Don’t forget weed,” Olivia added.

“Ugh! I couldn’t if I tried,” I cringed. “I feel physically dirty after being in that place. Also, I definitely need a drink.”

Olivia let out a laugh and sighed. Her brown hair bounced as we made our way down the stairs.

“When I was first-apartment hunting, I almost moved into this place up on East 103rd street that I swear had a meth lab in it. So it could be worse!” she said, carefully descending the staircase. “Besides, you can’t really smell blood. It doesn’t have a smell.”

“I can smell it,” I said, emphatically. “And someone was definitely murdered in that building.” I pointed back up the stairs.

“You’re a liar,” she laughed, as we reached the bottom level of the building. “You can’t smell it.”

“There are two types of people in this world, Olivia,” I started, as I held the door to the outside world open for her. The light flooded over us as we made our way outside, and I suddenly felt grateful for the sun. “Those who can smell blood and those who can’t.”

Chapter 6

Olivia

The Village is my favorite area in Manhattan. Cute little boutiques and coffee houses, random cobble-stone streets, and not to mention the high-end shopping on Bleeker. You also see more dogs being walked around there than any other neighborhood. So when Amalia’s first apartment viewing didn’t go very well, I was still secretly enjoying my day. I tried to lift her spirits by taking her to Bosie’s Tea Parlor on Morton Street.

“I know it was disgusting, but I promise the next one will be better!” I said confidently as I led her toward the café. After all, it couldn’t get much worse.

We were walking fast, zipping through a crowd of young girls in black high-low dresses and chunky platform heels. A super-thin red-head then flicked her cigarette on the ground, nearly hitting me by accident.

“Seriously, Olivia, I felt something go through me in that apartment!” she said, dramatically shaking her head back and forth. “How can that guy afford $2,000 a month?”

“I have no idea,” I laughed. A couple of cute guys in suits walked past us. One of them smiled at me and I immediately turned red and looked away. Amalia was too irritated to notice them. I redirected my attention back to her and said, “Maybe the landlord doesn’t know he lives there either.”

“Ugh!” she gasped, jumping in the air and pretending to wipe things off of her clothes. “Okay, I am moving on. How far is this place we’re going to?”

“Just about a five-minute walk,” I said, taking the lead. “Calm yourself.”

I swung my handbag in front of me and dug around for my sunglasses. Realizing I had better savor the last few days of warm weather while I could.

“So, Amalia, you never told me about Brazil,” I dug around for my phone too while I was at it. “How was it?”

“Hot,” she said, slowing down. “Even hotter than today, if you can believe it.”

“Hot?” I raised an eyebrow. “You were gone for nearly three months, and that’s all you have to say to me?”

“I’m sorry,” she came to a stop. Her eyes darted around the city. “You’re right, I’m totally pulling a Cassandra right now.”

“Pulling a what?” I asked, dropping the sunglass case back into my bag and reaching for my cigarettes, suddenly feeling a craving coming on. I grabbed her hand to steer her away from oncoming traffic.

“I’m being evasive. You know, like she always is,” Amalia shrugged. We crossed over to Bleeker and made our way to Morton Street. “Is there food at this place? I’m starving.”

“Yes, there is food,” I said, with fake anger. “But seriously, tell me about Brazil. Did you meet any guys?”

“No, that would be too obvious,” she said with a tight smile. “Little ole me runs away to Brazil, meets some hot guy named Gabriel, and sets up shop in Rio, only to be heard from by the occasional postcard.” She stopped walking again and I took the opportunity to light my cigarette. “Honestly, I spent a lot of time alone, thinking. All of the other time I spent with my cousin who lives there: Julia.”

“But you had a good time, right?” I slowly inhaled my cigarette. The smoke rushed through my lungs, and then out again as I slowly let the air leave my body. The craving leaving with a swift wash of relief.

“Yes”, she said with a smile. “It was fun. It was a vacation.”

“Alright,” I said, deciding to back off the subject for now.

“What about you and Alex?” she brightened up. “Are you officially a couple?”

It was the first time she had really said anything about me and Alex dating. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth.

“Yes, officially,” I laughed. “There’s a certificate being printed as we speak.”

“Oh, shut up,” she said through a huge grin.

“I’m really happy with him, Amalia.” Just thinking about Alex made me feel warm inside. Like Amalia, he and I were hiding our relationship. Unlike Amalia we were both single at the time. We kept it a secret because I was worried about too much involvement from out tight-knit group of friends. As much as it had been fun and sexy sneaking around, it felt refreshing to be able to talk about it freely with my friend. I felt my cheeks flush and I dropped my head down in an effort to hide my blushing. “Let me just finish this cigarette and then we’ll go inside. Bosie is right around the corner.”

She slowly nodded at me then and turned her gaze toward the ground. Amalia stared at an old piece of gum stuck on the floor for a few seconds and then shook her head. She looked downcast and I worried I had said something wrong. Her blonde curls tousled around her face for a moment until she wiped her eyes, causing her hair to fall behind her ears. I faintly heard her nose sniff, but I couldn’t be sure.

“Amalia, are you alright?” I started, but her eyes were no longer on me. Her attention was caught by a young woman walking toward us. She looked sort of familiar, like maybe I had seen her picture before. She had very long, very dark, brown hair. Her skin was alabaster white, and as she got closer I could see she was a few years younger than us, most likely twenty or twenty-one years old. Amalia cocked her head to the side and lowered her eyebrows. I could tell she was searching too. Trying to figure out where she knew this girl from.

“Excuse me?” the girl shouted from halfway down the block. Her brown eyes were narrowed and fixed on Amalia.

“Yes?” Amalia and I both said in unison.

The girl made her way up to us and stood about a foot away from Amalia’s face. She was short, about five foot one or so. She wore plain, light-wash jeans and a brown T-shirt. Nothing spectacular. Minimal make-up except for black kohl liner on the inside of her bottom lids. Her pin-straight hair was tucked behind her ears in a child-like way. I noticed she was wearing a gold necklace with a single ruby floating in the middle of her neck. She looked like an average girl. If she hadn’t been darting towards us at high speed, we probably wouldn’t have noticed her.

Amalia looked at me for help, but I didn’t know what to do.

“Do you need directions?” Amalia offered.

The girl ignored her question and looked Amalia up and down. A scowl permanently fixed on her face.

Amalia anxiously started to look around, and then back down at the sidewalk.

“Is your name Amalia?” the girl advanced to her, raising her chin to meet Amalia’s gaze.