The Songbird and the Soldier

The day of the double date arrived, several weeks later in the end. It was the lads’ last night of freedom before heading off on pre-deployment training. Dean and Andy arrived at the bowling alley and looked around. There was no sign of the girls. They approached the bar and got a round in. A few minutes later the girls turned up. Dean kissed Sam. “Sam, this is Andy.”

Sam’s smile was warm and kind. They shook hands. “We meet again,” she said.

Andy smiled and his heart lurched. Had she remembered?

“And this is Kate,” Sam told him, turning to her friend and introducing them. No, she hadn’t.

Andy peeled his eyes away from Sam and looked at Kate. She was nice enough. He recognised her from the day he had seen Sam several weeks before. A pretty girl, wearing a little too much make-up in his opinion, but she seemed okay. “Hi, Kate,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. What was he doing here? He had no interest in Kate at all. But of course, he knew the real reason. It was her. Sam. As painful as he knew it would be, to get to see Sam again was worth it. Miller had been right. She had got under his skin and to be able to be near her was worth any price.

The game was close and the banter was lively throughout, but half an hour after the game had ended, Kate got a call from her mum and had to rush off. Andy stood up and offered to walk her home, but Kate said she would get a taxi as it was quicker and that she’d be just fine on her own. Sam wanted to go with her too, but again Kate would have none of it and Sam said she’d ring her when she got home.

Andy soon began to feel like a gooseberry. He knew he should really make his excuses and leave Dean and Sam together, but he couldn’t. He had no more will to tear himself away than a moth had from the flame.

Dean’s mobile buzzed and his eyes flitted down to the screen. “Sorry, gorgeous, I’d better take this. It’s my gran.” He slipped out of his seat and wandered away to the front of the building to take the call.

Sam turned back to Andy. They were alone. Andy leant in across the table, holding her gaze for as long as he could bear. “So, how long have you been singing, Sam?” he asked. A delicate blush spread across her face and Andy was in heaven.

“A few years, I guess. I was bullied into it at college by some friends and I caught the bug I suppose. Silly really, but it’s a bit of fun. And they’re a nice lot down at the Crown, very forgiving.”

“I doubt that. I think you just happen to be very good.”

Sam looked briefly down at her lap. “So what’s your hidden talent then?” she asked.

Andy chuckled. “Talent? Not sure I have one of those. I don’t seem to have enough time to dedicate myself to acquiring one.”

“A hobby then? What about stamp collecting?”

Andy raised an eyebrow.

“Skiing?”

Andy thought. “No, that’s my golden brother’s domain.”

His tone made Sam stop. “You don’t get on?”

“No, it’s not that. He’s all right, we’re just chalk and cheese that’s all. And for my parents’ part, cheese is just preferable to chalk.” Andy laughed, quite taken aback at how quickly he had unravelled. “I like to walk, Sam. I like mountains, the countryside and trees. Is that too dull?”

“Not at all. It sounds lovely.” She smiled.

Andy knew he didn’t have long. Somehow he had to get through to Sam without giving away too much. If he had only managed to actually speak when they had first met, he wouldn’t be in this mess right now. He leaned back in his seat, trying to give the impression of easy confidence. “Do you ever travel, Sam? Abroad I mean.”

“Not much. Why, do you?”

Andy smiled.

“Of course you do.” Sam rolled her eyes. “But what about for fun?”

“Now and again.” He was watching her closely. “I’ve been to Greece,” he said. “Switzerland was impressive and, er… Tenerife.”

“Oh, I’ve been there. I went with some friends a few years back.” She smiled and Andy hoped she might be remembering.

“All girls together?” he asked.

“Something like that.”

“Did you ever discover a café on the west side of the island, Café Aurelio, I think it was called?”

Sam hesitated, her face suddenly becoming unreadable. Andy’s heart hammered inside his chest as he waited for her to reply. Sam took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak, but just as she did, Dean plonked himself back down by her side, making her jolt with surprise.

“Dean! Is everything all right? Is she okay?” Sam asked and Andy’s eye’s fell briefly closed in defeat.

“Who?” Dean asked.

“Your gran.”

Dean tucked his phone back into his pocket. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, she’s fine.” He looked from Sam to Andy and back again. “So, what’d I miss?”

Sam glanced across at Andy, her expression searching, but his time had slipped away and the moment was gone.

The rest of the evening was torture and ecstasy in equal measure, talking and laughing with this girl who was now with someone else. She was perfect- intelligent, funny and seductive all in one. He loved the way she tilted her head when she was unsure, exposing just a little more of her delicate neck, and the way she bit her bottom lip when she was trying to tease was sweetness itself. Life just wasn’t fair. Dean got any girl he wanted with his film star looks and gift of the gab. They fell for it every time. Why did it have to be her?

His eyes fixed on Dean’s hand moving slowly up and down Sam’s side. His shoulders tensed. Dean leant in closer, his lips whispered into Sam’s ear. It was agony. Why had he not been more of a man and fought for her at the outset, instead of letting Dean snatch her away from him right under his nose? It was Dean who was allowed to touch her sensuous body, Dean who could whisper softly into her ear and the thought of what was going to happen the moment Andy left them that evening was almost too much to bear. But watching helplessly from the sideline was better than not being near her at all.

By ten o’clock, Dean gave up with subtle signals and when Sam excused herself and popped to the ladies’ for a minute he made his feelings plain. “Okay, Prof, on your bike. I’m never going to get any action here with you hanging around.”

Sam returned and Andy smiled at her warmly and reluctantly stood up to take his leave. “Anyway, it’s been great, Sam, but I’d better get back: early start in the morning.” He picked up his dark blue puffer jacket and slid out of his seat.

“Oh? You sure you won’t stay?” Dean asked, sliding round the table closer to Sam.

Andy looked at Dean and then back to Sam. “I probably won’t see you again until we’re back now,” he said. “Take care, Sam.”

Sam stood up and kissed Andy on the cheek. “No, you take care, all right? I want both of you back here in one piece, you hear me? Both of you, or I’ll definitely have something to say about it,” she added.

“Cor. Are you going to keep me after school and thrash me, Miss?” said Dean, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Andy smiled, his brain barely functioning now. “I’ll, um…” he gestured toward the door, “be off.”

Sam straightened. “I’m serious.”

Andy could see that she was. He looked into her eyes. “I know. I’ll take care of him. I promise.” He smiled and then left her with Dean, walking out into the harsh winter night.

He must try and forget about her now. The next nine months he was to be a soldier and nothing more. The army was his home and the men were his brothers, even Dean. In the grand scheme of things Dean was still his brother: an annoying younger brother, but someone he would gladly lay down his own life to protect- but God, how he sometimes just wanted to smash his head against a brick wall. He put on his gloves, zipped up his jacket and walked away from Sam and towards war. Back inside, Sam was left wondering about the familiarity of that kiss.

Chapter 2

Sam was round at Kate’s house, slouching in the big pink beanbag underneath the window. Christina Aguilera sang quietly in the background and Kate traced the pattern of the duvet cover on her bed with her finger. “I still can’t believe you’re going out with creep-features,” Kate said.

“He’s nice. He makes me laugh and you’ve got to admit he is very good looking.”

“Oh he is better looking now, I suppose, but… really? Dean?”

Sam smiled, remembering his tall handsome features, his blue eyes gazing down at her, making her feel like a million dollars.

“He’s a twat, Sam. A womaniser.”

“He is not.”

“You’re really into him, aren’t you?”

Sam sighed and hugged the soft white pony she found lying nearby, to her chest.

“You’ve always been soft on him, even back in school days when he was ugly.”

“He was not ugly.”

“Yes he was. I remember.” She took a long look at Sam. “I give up. You’ve been a lost cause ever since he used to put his arm around you at break times. You know he was only doing that so that you would give him your Kit Kat. He was really after Big-Tits Bunstead,” she said, slumping back down on the bed.

Sam lobbed the pony at her. Kate was obviously teasing. She didn’t believe for a minute that Dean had really used her like that. He was the one who had stood up for her when Tom Finley had teased her about her braces. He even said he would have taken her out only his parents had put their foot down and insisted he stay at home and work. “Just because he was a hard worker and not cool and trendy like all the boys you got off with,” she said.

Kate spluttered out a hail of laughter and lobbed the pony back. “Cheeky mare!”

“Listen, you never did tell me what the matter was with your mum the other night? Is she all right?”

Kate propped herself up on one elbow again. “At the double date?”

“Yes.”

She sat up. “You really didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary with that guy then?”

“No. He seemed really nice. Sort of… reassuring: like you’ve known him for ages, but you haven’t. You know what I mean? Why?”

“’Cause he was gawping at you the whole night. I told you back at Chlo’s party that he was into you and you, like a plonker, went and gave your number to old smarm-breath. Why Dean thought he would be interested in me I have no idea.”

“But your mum?”

“Oh she was fine. I’d just had enough of blending in with the wallpaper. You know ‘shrinking violet’ was always more your style than mine. I’m not going spend my evening hanging around babysitting some poor love-struck squaddie.”

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment. “Dean said he’d been married a few years back, but it had ended, and well… in his words… he wanted to get him…‘back in the saddle’.”

“And you thought of me? Cheers, I’m touched.”

“It wasn’t like that. Dean said he was a nice guy, a few years older than us and it was one of those rare moments in time when you didn’t actually have a boyfriend.”

Kate gasped again, picked up a pillow and threw it at Sam. “As opposed to my timid little church mouse, who usually runs away if a boy even looks at her?”

“I do not!”

“You do too.”

“I’m going out with Dean, aren’t I?”

Kate threw her hands in the air. “Miracles!” and Sam chucked the pillow back.

For weeks Sam heard nothing. There was no reply to her texts and no phone calls came. She wasn’t sure if this was normal or if something was wrong. All she could do was sit and wait.

Up in Norfolk the men were being put through the training for battle in Afghanistan. There were long exercises in simulated conditions, as close to the scenarios they would probably be facing as they could be in a cold wet February in England. Those on their first tour were eager to get going, to face the war they had all been trained for.

Dean approached his second tour with a mixture of exhilaration and dread. He knew what it was like to feel the scorch of heat on his back. He had picked up fallen comrades and lived through the nightmares that stalked his sleep. For him and those like him, the war was a more subdued affair. It was more than a vocation. It was a deep-rooted brotherhood that bound them all together and made them want to stand side by side and protect each other. That was what carried them when Hell raged.

Andy was learning to control his thoughts about Sam, visiting them only when he was at leisure to do so. Dean hadn’t mentioned her once since their arrival and Andy hoped that no stronger feelings could be created between them while he was gone. So he trained and he learned and prepared himself for what was to come.

As the first glimpses of spring took hold on the quiet, peaceful fields of England, the men of 9 Rifles were busy in a muddy ditch preparing for war. Their time in pre-deployment training was almost at an end, and the calm of inevitability descended upon them.

“How’s it going with you and ‘lover boy’ then?” Kate asked several weeks later.

“Fine… I think,” Sam replied.

“Fine? That doesn’t sound very good. I was hoping for something more like ‘fab’, or ‘great’, or ‘smoking!’”

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him in weeks. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great- I just sometimes feel a little in the dark…inadequate, even.”

“Inadequate?”

“You know. He’s so… perfect.”

“He is good looking, I’ll give you that, but…”

Sam gestured to her own body. “But look at me.”

“What? Hell you’re no fatso yourself. You do all that cycling to and fro, all over the place. You’re in better shape than I’ll ever be and I’ve never had a guy complain about the state of my body. You’re fine, Sam. Your taste in men sucks, almost as much as your taste in music, if I’m honest. But you’re smart, way smarter than me. Look at you. You went to university for Christ’s sake and have a real job, not like me. I’m still bumming around and living with my mum.”

Sam cleared her throat and held up her hands.

“I know, but you’ll be out of here soon. I’ll still be living at home when I’m 40.”

Sam smiled.

“Of course I’m not saying it wouldn’t hurt you to brighten yourself up a bit now and again. Keep them on their toes.” Kate stood up. “You’ve got to be like, ‘Hey boy, this is what you’ll be missing out on if you don’t treat me right’.” She nodded at Sam, who burst out laughing.

“I wish I had your confidence,” Sam said.

Kate sat down again. “Just think of men as mischievous puppies. They need plenty of ground rules, a slap if they misbehave and loads of affection and treats if they do things right. Remember that and you’ll have hordes of them eating out the palm of your hand.”

“But I don’t want hordes of them. I just want one good one: a nice, kind, decent man, who’s easy on the eye and reliable. I want a little house with a bit of garden and two or three kids.”

Kate’s mouth gaped open. “I so do not want any of that. I’ll tell you what. I’ll trawl through all the guys out there and if I find a boring one who fits the bill I’ll pass him over to you, okay? I want to live a little before I die. I want to travel, see the world. I want to get pissed in seventeen different countries and get thrown out of at least two.”

“Good grief,” said Sam. “How are you going to manage all that? Sleep your way around Europe?”

Kate feigned shock. “No. I’m going to win the lottery,” she said.

“But you don’t even play the lottery.”

“Then I’ll find myself a rich man,” Kate concluded.

“Hussy!”

“Mouse!” Kate shot back.

The two girls grinned and giggled. “I can’t imagine you married with kids,” Kate said. “You’ve still got a rag doll.”

“Says the girl with the Zac Efron bedding,” Sam replied.

“Tea’s ready, girls,” Sam’s mum called up the stairs and Kate looked at her watch and got to her feet.

The two girls peered round the door of the dining room.

“Kate, love, there’s plenty enough for you as well, if you want to stay,” Mrs Litton said. Kate looked at Sam, who nodded eagerly. Mrs Litton smiled. “Give your mum a ring and make sure it’s okay.” Kate stepped out of the room.

“I left your cheque on the dresser this morning, Mum. Did you get it?” Sam asked, passing the salt and pepper from the sideboard to her mother by the table.

“Yes thanks, love. And do you want me to pick up a paper in the morning again? See if there’s anything new?”

“Haven’t we got rid of her yet?” her dad asked, walking in with the large dish from the oven and winking at his wife.

“No. I’ll probably still be here when you’re sixty, Dad. Sorry,”

A groan escaped her dad’s mouth but he smiled. Kate walked back in. “Knowing my luck Kate’ll still be with us too,” he said.

Mrs Litton bashed him and he smiled mischievously. “Don’t you take any notice of him, love. Did your mum say it was all right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Take a seat and ignore the grumpy one over there. He loves having you here, both of you. Don’t you? Now who wants some shepherd’s pie?”

Sam’s dog, Humphrey, trotted in.

“Oh no you don’t,” Mrs Litton said. “Sam, put him in the living room while we eat, love. You know I won’t have him near the food.”

Sam walked Humphrey out to the living room, where his basket lay in the corner beside one of the armchairs. It was small and smart with a tartan blanket folded up neatly inside to make it soft. Up in her bedroom Sam had a squidgy old soft bed for him, but one of the conditions of her being allowed a dog in the house was that her mum’s living room would still look ‘presentable’. Sam told him to get in and lie down and then stroked his head affectionately. “You only had your tea an hour ago, Humph. You can’t possibly be hungry again yet. Good boy.” She walked away without a backward glance. She was hopeless at resisting the sad eyes he turned on her whenever he wanted something and had learned it was better simply not to look.

“So, Kate, what exciting things have you been up to recently?” Mr Litton asked over dinner.

“Oh you know… um…”

“Still no luck on the job front then?”

“No. I’ve got a bit of casual work next week. I’m helping out in a warehouse for a couple of weeks while they get a big order through, but that’s all. But, I did hear through the grapevine that Sally who works at the leisure centre is pregnant, so fingers crossed, there might be some work coming up there soon!”

“Well at least that’s something. And what about you, Sam? Has Jimmy managed to drive the music teacher to drink yet?”

Sam smiled. “Close, I think. No. Nothing exciting really.”

“Apart from pining after Dean,” Kate added, and Sam kicked her under the table. “Ow!”

“What’s this?” Sam’s dad put down his knife and fork. “Sam? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend?” He looked at his wife for her reaction, but she looked just as surprised as him.

Sam cringed. She had been trying to keep the whole thing under wraps. The last time her mum and dad had got involved; it complicated matters, so she had wanted to keep this one to herself. And Kate knew that!

“Is it anyone we know?” her mum asked.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“His name is Dean Fletcher. His parents live next door to me,” Kate offered, and promptly received another sharp blow to her ankle for her troubles. “Ow!”

“Dean?” Mrs Litton said.

“He’s a soldier.”

“A soldier?” Mr Litton seemed a little more wary.

“I’m going to kill you,” Sam said under her breath, and Kate grinned.

“That’s not your usual type,” her dad said.

“It’s no big deal,” Sam said trying to calm the excitement down. “We haven’t been going out long.”

“Two months,” Kate mouthed.

“And are we going to meet this young man?” her dad asked.

“Not for a while,” Sam said. “He’s off to Afghanistan in a few weeks.”

“Oh.” The mood changed.

“What’s he like, Kate?” Mrs Litton asked.

In an instant Sam was put aside and Kate was asked to describe Dean to her parents. Afghanistan, Sam thought. Yes, that was something of a conversation-stopper. Only a few more days and he would be back from training and getting ready to go out. Sam looked up.

“Well, at least if he’s on the other side of the world I won’t have to worry how he’s treating you, will I?” her dad said.

“Dad!”

“I’m sorry, but that Rick fellow was bad news, Sam. He treated you exceedingly badly and you refused to see it. I guess you were just too young and too besotted.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Now look what you’ve started.”

“Sorry,” Kate whispered back, unconvincingly. “We’re just trying to look after you, love,” said her mum.

Sam’s dad changed the subject and the meal continued. At the end Mr Litton thanked Kate for staying to tea and told her she was welcome to come again anytime. Sam declared that she was not.

Kate left soon after. Sam waved her off and then took Humphrey upstairs again. She sat down on her bed and thought back to the last time she had seen Dean.

It had only been a quick visit. Dean had turned up at her school five minutes after the bell and surprised her while she was clearing up the classroom at the end of the school day. Sam had felt awkward when Dean started to make a move on her while people were still in the building. Dean had been very persuasive, obviously turned on by the whole schoolmistress thing. Had she been a different person, Sam might have had a great time. Nobody surprised them, no one even came in after he had gone, but it was all too stressful for Sam and eventually Dean gave up trying and left.

Sam finished tidying the classroom and battled with the guilty feeling that she was probably a disappointment as far as girlfriends were concerned. Oh well, she thought at last, there was nothing she could do about it now. Hopefully she could make amends when he got back from training in a couple of weeks.

Sam got up from her bed and walked over to where her big flower press lay on a pile of large books on the floor. Soon, she thought. Soon she would find a house of her own and then she would have a place for everything. She picked up the flower press and lugged it over to the bed. She sat down and patted the space beside her. Humphrey needed no second bidding. He jumped up and made himself comfortable. Sam hugged him to her and then played with his ears. “If only all men were as easy to love as you, Humph,” she said.

Sam carefully opened up the press and counted out the flowers she had saved there. Thirty-two. Good, that gave her one each for every child in her class and a few left over for mishaps, and knowing little Jimmy Richards there were bound to be mishaps. She had seen her flowers turned into crowns, fairies, the sun and endless footballs, but it was those with the imagination to see beyond the obvious that always excited her. She closed the press again and placed it onto her desk with her school diary and the verse she had written out about flowers to go on the classroom wall. She sat back down. “Do you want to go for a walk, Humph?” Humphrey was on his feet in a flash, his stubby little tail wagging eagerly. “Come on then, let’s get out of here.”

Dean called Sam once after he got back from training and Sam asked for his address out in Afghanistan, but despite him giving it to her, he was still too busy to catch up. The time passed when he was due to leave and Sam had heard nothing. She wrote, not too emotionally, as she was still a little unsure about whether he would actually get the letter and who else would see it on the way. There was no reply.

Nearly three weeks passed and still she heard nothing. In place of eager anticipation, she greeted the fall of the mail each day on the mat with the resigned habit of just checking.

On Wednesday, Sam had had a particularly wearing day in school. Jimmy Richards had been caught stealing another child’s tooth to try and extort extra money out of the tooth fairy. Bethany-May had managed to make her whole group of friends hysterical in front of a school inspector over a class pet hamster who had somehow been let out of his cage, (by whom she had yet to determine) and to cap it all off, Peter Davies chose that very same day to bring up his entire lunch all over Lucy Eccles’ lovely long hair.