Summer in Manhattan

“You okay?”

He nodded and then cleared his throat, stretching his legs out under the table, his foot brushing against hers.

“Um…did you talk to a lawyer about the situation?” he asked, slightly distracted by her touch.

“No. Should I?” she asked. Right now she was busy dealing with morning sickness and trying to figure out herself as a mother. Rich had said he wanted no role in the baby’s life and she hadn’t thought beyond that fact.

“Yes. I’m not advising you to do so just because family law is what I do, but also from experience. If the Candied Apple & Cafe continues to grow and you become a millionaire he might suddenly show up in your life again. Also, you want to have some safe guards in place for the child if they ask about the father later,” Hoop said. He took a sip of his coffee thoughtfully.

“I hadn’t thought of any of that. Actually, I’m still sort of coming to terms with everything,” she admitted. “Do you know a good lawyer who does that sort of thing?”

“I do.”

“Do I have to guess who it is?” she asked when he didn’t elaborate.

He winked at her. “Me. That’s what I do. But since we are friends, I will give you the name of one of my colleagues.”

“Really? I knew you were a lawyer but you seem more like a criminal defense one.”

“Why did you think that?”

“You seem tough and I know you were a cop. What made you want to do family law?”

“Growing up the way I did made me very aware of how complicated family legal matters can be.”

She reached across the table and put her hand over his, squeezing it gently. He made that statement so nonchalantly that she almost believed that he didn’t really feel anything about it, but there was a note in his voice that gave him away. That made her realize that his past wasn’t perfect.

Just like hers.

Both of them had come from families that were less than perfect.

They were closer now than she’d have thought at the beginning of the meal and a part of her didn’t regret it at all. Another part of her did. She wasn’t too fond of discovering more ways to bond with Hoop.

Hoop hadn’t meant to bring up the other guy but frankly he was pissed at himself and Rich for the situation. He should have followed his gut the night they’d met but instead he’d done what he thought was right.

Made the adult decision.

So now he was sitting across from the woman he wanted, listening to her talk baseball stats and getting turned on. And she’d friend zoned him. Probably the smartest choice. He was a man known for his logic, but with Cici that had never been the case.

And that would have to be enough because pressuring a woman into a deeper relationship went totally against the grain. He wasn’t about to do it now with Cici.

“I know some people say Derek Jeter is the all-time greatest but if you look at the stats, he’s no Babe Ruth or Ty Cobb. It’s almost like he’s not even playing in the same league. You can’t beat those guys who made the sport great. They set standards using equipment that was rougher, heavier, not machined to make the game easier, you know?”

He did know. He also knew that nothing excited him as much as hearing her talk about baseball. There was that passion again that he’d first noticed at the Olympus in February.

Regret didn’t taste good with port, he thought.

“Which is why I invited you to the baseball game together,” he said. “We could have a really good time.”

She smiled and then sighed.

She leaned forward, putting her elbows on the table and resting her head on her left hand. She looked at him from under those heavy brows and thick lashes and he suddenly couldn’t really pay attention to anything but the fall of her dark hair against her cheek. Why had he never noticed how pink her lips were before this? Or how kissable her mouth was?

She sat up, leaning forward toward him. “I’m trying to be smart for my baby. I never expected to be a Mom…not like this and I need to focus on that. And I’m going to be totally honest here, you distract me.”

“Well, let’s fix that. We need to figure this out,” he said. “The more we try to deny it, the more it will grow and then how awkward will getting together with Garrett and Hayley be?”

She shook her head and took another sip of the green tea she’d ordered after dinner. “Nope, it’s not going to work. I see where you are going. But we had a shot and now I have this little bean. I can’t…”

“You can. It’s not like I’m not a decent guy. You liked me enough to kiss me in Olympus and once again in the cab when I took you home.”

She put her mug down on the saucer and gave him a hard look. “But you didn’t like me enough. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult. But you hurt me, Hoop. You made me feel like I wasn’t enough. I don’t like that. I act stupid when I’m hurt like that.”

Her words wounded him but only because he hadn’t thought of things from her point-of-view. He had pushed her away. She’d been willing to give him a chance; a real chance, but he’d been a guy.

“I’m an ass.”

“Agreed,” she said, with a smile. “Just kidding…you’re not an ass. I think you are actually a really nice guy. The kind of man who is responsible and a good friend.”

He hadn’t thought that he’d hurt her but now it consumed him. Made him realize how arrogant he’d been in thinking he could come back to her. He owed her. He needed to show her she wasn’t the problem. That they could, at the very least, be friends. “Let me be a friend to you, Cici. Let me prove I can be a good friend to you.”

She shook her head. “Ugh. You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“Nope. Sorry, it’s not in my programming to give up on something that means a lot to me.”

“And I mean a lot to you?” she asked. “We don’t really know each other.”

“I know. But I think we could be good friends,” he said. At least to start out with. She was having a baby and he knew how fragile families were. He’d gone into family law because he wanted to help bring people together.

“Okay. I’ll go to a baseball game with you and then we can see what happens next.”

Hoop was at her door early for their date. She almost didn’t answer it but she had decided as soon as she’d found out about her little bean that she wasn’t going to run away any more. It was a baseball game. No big deal, right?

She opened the door and he stood there wearing a faded Yankees t-shirt and holding his glove loosely in one hand. His jeans were faded too and clung to his thighs.

She sighed. He was too good looking. It would have been nice if his nose had been broken and hadn’t healed properly or maybe if he had a little bit of a beer belly. But no.

“You okay?”

“What? Yes, sorry about that,” she said. She pulled the door closed behind her and locked it.

“What are you wearing?”

“My Red Sox shirt.”

“I can see that, why?”

“I’m a Red Sox fan,” she said. “I grew up in Connecticut.”

“This is going to be awkward,” he said, smiling.

“More awkward than me being pregnant?” she asked with a grin. She had decided to own it. She’d been hiding the pregnancy from her friends and family because she’d been uncomfortable and embarrassed but talking with Hoop the other night at dinner had helped her get clarity. She had decided to have the baby and she was going to figure out how to be the best damn mother she could be.

He threw his head back and laughed. She smiled, realizing just how long it had been since she’d heard him laugh. It had been that night in the club. Pre-pregnancy.

“Fair point. I have season tickets,” he said. “You’re going to be sitting in the heart of the Yankee Country.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” she said. “Plus, my team is going to whip yours and I’m prepared to be a generous winner.”

They took the subway to Yankee Stadium and Cici got a few comments on the way. There were Red Sox fans on the subway as well. But she and Hoop both ignored them.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best idea for a first date,” Hoop said. “But you’re the first girl I’ve met in a long time that actually loves baseball.”

“This isn’t technically a date,” she said, trying to keep it clear to herself and him that they were just friends. “And that can’t be true. Other women love the sport.”

“They still love Derek Jeter even though he’s retired, but you know stats,” he said.

“I’m a numbers girl,” Cici said, as they walked into the stadium and past a row of food vendors. The smells were intense and she’d never wanted a hot dog and beer as badly. She knew the beer was out but a hotdog with mustard and onions. That would be…perfection.

She suspected it was pregnancy but she also knew she wanted a distraction. Baseball and men. She should have known better than to combine the two. It was her weakness.

“Want a hot dog?” she asked.

“I’d rather know why you love baseball,” Hoop replied, but he made his way to the vendor closest to them and got in line. “I know a lot of people who are good with numbers who don’t have a passion for the game.”

“That’s personal.”

“It’s how we are going to get to know one another better,” Hoop said.

“Really?” she asked. But she remembered the other night and how talking with him about the uncomfortable stuff had helped.

“Yes,” he said. “What do you want on your dog?”

“Mustard and onions,” she said.

“Drink?”

Beer. But she couldn’t. Her grandmother talked about how she’d drank and smoked while she’d been pregnant with Cici’s mom, to which Cici’s mom always quipped “look how normal I am”, but Cici wasn’t taking any chances.

“I’ll have a soda.”

“Wait for me over there?” he asked, gesturing to a spot where the crowds were thin.

She walked over there, noting that a cool breeze blew up from the opening. She watched Hoop. He was tall and handsome but more than that he seemed to have a kind soul. She had never had a good radar with men. She knew this. And given that her first impression of him had been dead wrong, she was afraid to trust her instincts where he was concerned.

She’d liked him, he’d rejected her, she had acted impulsively. She rubbed her hands over her lower stomach where her little bean was nestled.

He came over with their food and led the way up to their seats. She ignored some of the jeers she got as they sat down. She just smiled and ate her hotdog. Hayley had made her some kale chips which Cici dug out of her bag. Hayley wanted her to eat healthily. Iona was convinced that Cici wasn’t getting enough exercise and had taken to stopping by her apartment every morning before work to walk through Central Park with her.

She sighed, offering a kale chip to Hoop.

“No way. It’s bad enough I’m sitting with a Red Sox fan, I’m not eating pretend chips.”

“They taste better than you might think,” she said.

“That’s because nothing really tastes like cardboard,” he said, taking a swallow of his beer. “This is nice.”

So many times she’d felt alone in life but Hayley and Iona were sisters of the heart. She’d gotten lucky one of her exes had dated all three of them at the same time. Without him she would never have met Iona or Hayley and started the Candied Apple & Cafe. She tried not to dwell on the fact that something good had come out of her bad taste in men.

“It is nice,” she said. But she knew she wasn’t talking about the weather or even about the game that was about to start. She was slowly coming to find that Hoop wasn’t like the other guys she’d known. He was different.

It had been hard to see at first because of his floppy hair and the way his jeans hugged his ass, but there was more to Hoop than his sexy smile and the butterflies he made her feel. He was a nice guy. A good guy. Someone she had to get to know more.

Chapter 4

At the bottom of the fifth, the Red Sox were up by two and Cici wasn’t feeling the love from the others around her. Except for Hoop who couldn’t stop smiling at her.

She stood up to cheer.

“Cici.”

“Yes?”

He didn’t say another word, just lowered his head and their lips brushed. There was that electric buzz that went from her lips through her entire body. She closed her eyes and felt the brush of his breath over her lips before he kissed her. He pushed his tongue into her mouth with a gentle caress and she pulled him closer, going up on her tiptoes to deepen the embrace.

He smelled of summer. Sunshine and beer and hotdogs. And some scent that was just Hoop. He held her close and she felt like she wasn’t alone.

Damn.

She wanted to pull him closer and take more from him. Take everything that he had to give her and keep it. But she wasn’t sure that was possible.

He was strong, so she wanted to borrow his strength. She wanted to figure out how he was able to always be that way when she’d been faking for too long.

He kept his hands on her face, his touch light and she held onto his waist as he angled his head and broke the kiss. He looked down at her and she looked up at him and realized that no matter what she was trying to convince herself of, she wanted Hoop.

Her blood was pounding a little heavier through her veins, her skin felt so sensitized that when he skimmed his fingers down the side of her neck, goose bumps spread down her arm.

She pulled back and felt the hotdog and kale chips she’d eaten earlier start making their way back up. Damn.

“Sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand.

She swallowed and reached for her bottle of water. Her “morning” sickness wasn’t going away. She tried to bolt down the aisle but not everyone was quick to move.

“I’m going to be sick,” she yelled, and if she wasn’t feeling so bad she would have laughed at how quickly the Yankee’s fans moved out of her way. She barely made it to the restroom before she threw up everything she’d eaten that day.

Her stomach wasn’t happy just emptying the contents but added acid and bile to the mix. When she was finally finished heaving, she went to the sink to rinse her face and wash out her mouth. She hadn’t realized how much she hated throwing up. But to be honest, until her pregnancy, it had been limited to some mornings in college when she’d drunk too much the night before.

This was different. She felt weak and wanted to just curl in a ball and have her mom bring her warm 7-Up and crackers. But she knew that wasn’t going to happen. She had to go back to her seat and rejoin Hoop. She patted her pocket and realized she’d left her phone and bag in the stadium.

“Bean, you are torturing me,” she said.

She walked out of the restroom and found Hoop standing against the cement wall across from the exit. He had her purse in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. He had his legs crossed at the ankles and gave her a tentative smile when he saw her.

“Some of the other fans thought you had it coming for cheering so loudly,” he said. “A few unkind ones suggested it might have been my kiss.”

“It definitely wasn’t your kiss,” she said, trying to smile. Her voice sounded funny and raw from being sick and he pushed away from the wall and walked over to her, holding out the bottle of water. She took a swallow. He handed her a piece of minty gum and she took it. He was very thoughtful and thorough.

How could she think about getting involved with Hoop? Would he even want to after that?

Being sick was just the beginning. Her body was going to change and if the chapters she’d skipped ahead to read in her pregnancy book were any indication, some of the stuff was not going to be pleasant.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I can’t do this to you. You don’t want to be friends with a pregnant lady, Hoop. I’ve read the books and it’s just going to get worse.”

He put his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed in a soft circular motion. “Too late. I’m not going to let you keep backing away. We’ve already decided to give this a try.”

“We did?” she asked. She didn’t think they’d done that but she wasn’t ready to walk away from him yet.

“And you don’t strike me as someone who backs down. I mean, I saw you cheering on your team in enemy country.”

She smiled, even though she didn’t want to. And then wondered why she didn’t want to. Did she have to punish herself because she’d made a mistake with this man? Was that why she was trying so hard to find any reason not to be with him.

She leaned forward, putting her forehead on his chest and her arms around his waist. She could tell she startled him because his hand dropped to his side and then he wrapped his arms around her.

She held him and didn’t say anything. Just took comfort from this man who she really didn’t know what to do with. And right now, as crappy as she was feeling, she didn’t want to have to figure it out or worry about the future. She just needed…Hoop.

She lifted her head, staring up into those brilliant blue eyes of his and he put his hands on her head, tucked the long strand of her bangs back behind her ear.

He tangled their fingers together and turned so they were facing the exit. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Somewhere we can be alone,” he said.

She wanted to be the woman she saw when he looked at her. Someone who was strong. Strong enough to make the right choices and to own up to the world if she didn’t.

They’d caught a cab to Red Roosters in Harlem because Cici was hungry and somehow taking her back to his place had bad idea written all over it. Kissing her had changed something inside of him. Watching her run away to be sick had been a pretty clear reminder of her circumstances.

She needed a friend and he’d offered.

It wasn’t one he’d made lightly though. His hormones were doing their damnedest to convince him that friends with benefits was a good idea, but he knew she needed just a friend. She was on her own with the baby. And he knew how fragile that could be. He’d seen it as an adult and lived through it as a child.

And she had seemed to lose some of her glow after she’d gotten sick. Who could blame her? So, he sat in a corner booth across from her and asked her about baseball.

“You are a crazy massive fan of baseball,” he said, taking a sip of his sweet tea. He needed something to cool him down but it wasn’t the heat in the city that had him on fire. It was Cici.

Her hair kept curling around her face and she tucked the same strand behind her ear repeatedly. That strand. It had been soft and silky to the touch. Just like her lips. He wanted to kiss her again but he was being cool. She’d worn contacts today and he noticed how pretty her eyes were.

But he was honoring her desire for them to be friends. Plus, he knew she needed more from him than just full on guy hormones. She needed comfort and to feel normal. He’d not been around pregnant women much. One of his sisters at the Fillions’ foster home had a baby last year but she lived in Florida now with her husband so he hadn’t seen her while she’d been expecting.

Just from watching Cici, he noticed how much it drained her. She’d been pale when she’d come out of the bathroom and shaken. The way she’d hugged him…she needed him.

No one had ever really needed him. He volunteered, of course, and he knew the kids he was a big brother to really appreciated it, but he had never felt as needed with them as he had with Cici this afternoon. This had felt more personal.

“I am a pretty intense fan when it comes to the Red Sox,” she admitted. “One year I went to spring training.”

“Just one year?” he asked with a wink. “How can you call yourself a massive fan?”

“Alright smarty, how many spring training games have you been to?” she asked.

“One. And that was just because my sister had a new baby and we all went to Florida,” he explained.

“Sister? I thought you were adopted. Did your parents…what happened with your parents?” she asked, reaching onto his plate and stealing a fry.

“Lisa is my sister but we aren’t biological siblings. She and I grew up in the same home…the Fillions. Did I tell you about them?”

“No. What happened to your folks?” she asked. “If I’m being too nosey just tell me to mind my own business. I think it’s a side effect of hanging out with Iona all the time.”

He rubbed his hand over his chest. His real parents. People always wanted to know about them. And frankly, he wanted to as well. “I have no idea. Near as anyone can figure, my mom was a teenager who gave birth…” he shrugged, “somewhere…and then dropped me off at the hospital and kept on trucking. Never gave me a name or anything.”

She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. She laced their fingers together and she squeezed gently. “I’m sorry. I never knew my dad either, so I can sort of understand not knowing.”

“It’s more than that,” he admitted. But they were on a date and he didn’t want to get into how he’d felt unworthy for so many years. He was better now; he knew that the problem was hers and not anything to do with him. But there were times when he wished he could meet her and show her what she’d walked away from.

“I can’t even begin to imagine,” she said. “How did you get your name?”

“The center she dropped me off at was on Hooper Street,” he said. “And one of the nurses thought I looked like a Jason. They had to fill in the paperwork. When I was a cop I went to investigate and found out about all the legalities involved. It’s how I decided to switch to being a lawyer.”

He took another sip of his sweet tea but it tasted too cloying now and he set it aside. Talking about his past always left him feeling…well, odd. That was the only word for it.

“I’ve reached out to one of my coworkers about your case and if you have time next week, I’d love for you to stop by the office and meet with her. Then you can get the paperwork started to send them to your…I don’t know what to call him.”

Cici blushed. “Baby daddy? Sperm donor?”

“No. That’s not it,” he said. “Mr. Maguire.”

“Once he signs the papers then you’ll be protected and to be honest, he will be too. That way you can’t go back to him and demand anything from him.”

“I would never do that,” Cici said.

“I know. But it will give him peace of mind and make him more amenable to signing the papers,” Hoop said. He’d handled a lot of cases like hers and knew that having a binding contract wasn’t always enough but it gave each party some peace of mind. He wanted to make sure that Cici was protected.

“Good. I just want that done,” she said. “I think once this is settled, well I can really start to figure out things for the baby.”

“Like what?” he asked. He didn’t know what a child would need or what a single mom would. Seeing Cici on her own made him wonder if his own mother had been like this. Did she have a friend to talk to? He’d never know. He knew that but it stirred questions all the same.

“Like the nursery colors and theme…and then I have to find a preschool and get on the waiting list,” she said.

“You haven’t even given birth yet,” he said, but he knew from one of his co-workers who was struggling to get their kids into the right school how hard it was.

“You have no idea about all the things that I have to decide,” she said.

“On your own?” he asked softly.

“I haven’t told my mom and stepdad yet. I mean Hayley and Iona have been great but this kind of thing is definitely something I have to figure out.”

“I can ask around at my office and get a list of the best schools,” he said. “Maybe see if someone can write a letter of recommendation for you.”

“You’d do that?” she asked.

“Yes. We’re friends. You’re going to need lots of them,” he said.

She took another sip of her water, finally getting full. She leaned back against the seat and watched Hoop. The kiss…she’d been ignoring it since they’d left the ballpark because she wanted to focus on friendship but he’d stirred something deep inside of her. Something she thought would be dormant now that she was expecting. And that her life was up in the air.