Four Weddings and a Fiasco

‘Katy Peacock, isn’t it?’ She smiled. ‘I remembered because it’s such a lovely name. You were the one who hijacked the cherry- picker truck.’

‘Yes, that was me.’ I laughed, remembering that wedding.

The groom had unexpectedly requested I take a shot of him and his new wife out on the bridal suite’s first-floor balcony. I’d wanted to get the angle right. I’d have even climbed a tree if there had been one nearby; it wouldn’t have been the first time I’d resorted to such measures. While I was pondering what to do, someone suggested they’d seen a cherrypicker truck at the bottom of the drive and maybe that was the answer. And as it happened, it turned out to be the perfect solution.

Corinne smiled. ‘How you managed to persuade that guy to hoist you up in his truck, I can’t imagine. Brilliant!’

‘It was a bit risky,’ I confessed. ‘When I realised you’d seen what I was doing, I was convinced I’d be banned from taking any more photos here.’

She shook her head. ‘Not at all. The bride and groom were absolutely delighted with your efforts. Above and beyond the call of duty was how the groom put it. So well done.’

‘I was glad to help.’

‘You’ve shot quite a few weddings here, haven’t you?’

I nodded, wondering where all this was leading.

‘The thing is, I’ve been putting together a file of information for bridal couples to take away with them. Hints and tips on how to organise their big day, that sort of thing, with a few recommendations for sourcing wedding cars and flowers.’ She smiled. ‘And photographers.’

‘Oh?’ My heart started beating very fast.

‘It’s nothing definite,’ she murmured, ‘but if I wanted to give our couples the name of a good wedding photographer, would you mind me mentioning you?’

I felt my cheeks start to flush. ‘Mind? No, of course not. I’d be absolutely thrilled!’

Oh my God! This was just the break I needed!

Then I cleared my throat and said in a much more professional manner, ‘Thank you for thinking of me. I really appreciate it. Do let me know what you decide.’

When she left, my legs were actually wobbling on the way to the car. I couldn’t believe it. This was the sort of magical opportunity I’d longed for, and if I hadn’t been in professional mode, I’d have done a little dance right there on the lawn.

That was over two months ago now, and although Corinne has my number, I’ve heard nothing at all. With each week that passes, my hope fades a little bit more. But next week, I’ll be back at the Greshingham Hotel for Ron and Andrea’s wedding.

And maybe – just maybe – Corinne might have good news for me.

It’s the night before Andrea and Ron’s big day and I’m in full panic mode.

Not about the wedding.

But about something far more critical.

‘Chill, darling,’ advises Mallory, from her flaked-out pose on my sofa. She’s watching me with mild amusement as I tear around, ransacking the house. ‘Stop looking and it’ll turn up.’

‘I can’t stop looking!’ I yelp. ‘If I don’t find it, the whole day will go pear-shaped!’

Mallory examines her nails. ‘It’s a piece of jewellery,’ she murmurs. ‘Not some magical talisman.’

‘But it’s not just any old brooch. It’s my lucky charm,’ I call, running upstairs to check my bedroom drawers for the twenty- seventh time.

‘Which jacket were you wearing at your last wedding?’ calls Mallory.

Her question stops me in my tracks.

‘Brilliant!’ I yell, diving for the wardrobe. Sure enough, there it is, pinned to the lapel, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Dad bought me the beautiful ceramic brooch years ago. It’s a single, perfectly formed daffodil and the yolk yellow petals are so vibrant against the pale green stem, they cheer me up just to look at them. Dad said the brooch reminded him of the first ever photograph I had framed for him and Mum. It was a black and white shot of a daffodil in a slim vase and it hung on the living room wall ever afterwards and – much to my complete mortification – was pointed out fondly every time we had guests.

Usually, Mum did the gift-buying in our house, so the brooch from Dad was really special. I’ve had it for ages but it’s in perfect nick, except for a tiny stress fracture running down the centre, which is barely noticeable.

I wore it when, filled with butterflies and nervous excitement, I shot my very first wedding. The day turned out to be perfect, so now I have to wear the brooch to make sure things go smoothly. (When things do get hairy occasionally, Mallory will remark wryly, ‘So much for the lucky charm.’ But I counter that by pointing out how much worse things could have been without it.)

Apart from anything superstitious, the brooch makes me feel I’ve got my dad close by.

Dad worked as an accountant when he left college, but he always dreamed of being his own boss. And when he was forty, he took the plunge, left his job and started up the sandwich business he’d long been planning and scheming in his head. Of course we had to downsize because selling sandwiches didn’t bring in nearly as much as Dad’s steady nine-to-five job. So there were no more holidays to Spain or nice meals out. But even though he had to work crazy hours, I think that was the happiest I ever saw him. He’d have been so proud of what I’ve managed to achieve, all by myself, slowly building up a solid reputation in the industry.

When things are tough and I’ve got a headache trying to juggle money, robbing Peter to pay Paul, I think of Dad’s favourite saying: ‘Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.’

That always spurs me on.

When I wake next morning, I feel hung-over. Which is a bit unfair since I didn’t have anything to drink.

I’d stayed awake until the early hours, practically propping my eyelids open with matchsticks, getting my accounts up to date. (Numbers aren’t my thing so balancing the books regularly taxes my brain to its limits.) As a result I was in the deepest sleep ever when the alarm went off and it felt like only ten minutes since I’d crashed into bed.

I pour strong coffee down my throat while making last-minute checks of my equipment. I once ran out of batteries in the middle of shooting a wedding for an extremely uptight bride. Not an experience I ever want to repeat. If it hadn’t been for a junior guest, who apparently kept a supply of triple AAAs in his pocket at all times in case of a gaming controller emergency (no, I didn’t understand it either), I’m pretty sure the bride would have spontaneously combusted.

Needless to say, I now have spare batteries on me at all times.

I’m meeting Mallory at the venue.

In theory, I like to arrive twenty minutes before we’re expected so that we can park up and take our time checking out the lay of the land for the photos later.

The reality tends to be a little different.

Like this morning.

Just as I’m opening the front door, the house phone rings.

I pause, thinking I’ll let it go to answer machine. But then there’s always the thought that it could be Mum in trouble, so I close the door and go to check.

It is Mum.

We chat for a few minutes then I say I have to go but I’ll call her later.

‘If you could, love. Because I’ve got something to tell you.’

‘Tell me now.’

She hesitates. ‘No. It can wait till later.’

‘Mum?’ A feeling of foreboding prickles my scalp.

I straighten up. ‘What is it?’

I hear her sigh at the other end.

Then she says, in a low voice, ‘Sienna’s coming back.’

SIX

Sienna’s coming back.

Mum’s words swim around in my consciousness.

I’d always wondered how I’d react if Sienna returned. Actually, I feel quite numb.

Gently, I place the phone in its stand. And when it rings a few seconds later, I’m already closing the front door behind me.

I drive to the venue in a daze, almost missing the turn-off. I have to brake suddenly and the driver behind me slams the horn three times and races furiously past me. Trembling, I pull into the side of the road and turn the engine off, then I sit there, staring ahead, grasping the steering wheel as if it’s a lifeline.

A cold feeling settles in my heart.

Then an ambulance hares past, its siren blaring, bringing me to my senses.

For a few seconds, my mind is blank. Where was I going? What was I doing?

I glance at the clock.

The wedding!

I set off, driving almost as fast as the ambulance, determined not to be late for Andrea.

The sight of Mallory, jokingly flagging me down in the car park and pointing accusingly at her watch, brings me back to the present. Mallory is actually really laid back about this sort of thing. She’s only doing the watch thing because she knows I’ll be anxious to get going.

‘Chill, darling,’ she says when I emerge from the car. ‘They’re probably not even ready for you yet. You know what these fussy brides are like.’

‘Hey, don’t be so hard on brides. It’ll be your turn in December.’

In stark contrast to my plain navy suit, crisp white shirt and navy heels, Mallory’s wearing a floaty, mauve dress, cream fake fur and little pixie boots. All charity shop, of course. Anyone else would look appalling in this ensemble but Mallory has the personality to pull it off.

‘Great tree,’ she points out.

I look across at the old, gnarly oak whose magnificent branches look like they’ve been arranged precisely with us in mind. ‘Perfect backdrop for the bride and groom shots,’ I agree.

I glance up at the hotel. Behind one of those gorgeous Georgian windows, Andrea and her bridal entourage will be in a state of nervous excitement, talking Kim and Kanye. And hair, make-up and veils. And probably quaffing far too much champagne.

It always feels a privilege to be there, among the bride’s family and friends, on this most intimate of occasions.

Some families embrace me like they would a family friend, which is lovely, while others regard me as simply the professional photographer, who’s there to do a job. Either way is fine by me.

Sometimes my role expands to become the chief calmer of nerves, hanky provider or bridal car arrival checker. I can even be called on to help a bride choose between two shades of lipstick – obviously a decision of vital importance, so no pressure there, then. I take it all very seriously because I know how important it is that the bride feels beautiful on her special day.

I usually enjoy every aspect of it.

But today, with my legs still shaky from that phone call, all I want to do is get through the work and go home.

I draw in a breath of bracing March air. ‘Right. Better get in there.’

‘Are you all right, darling?’ Mallory peers at me. ‘You seem a bit queer.’

That almost makes me giggle. Sometimes Mallory seems to have been born into the wrong century. And the sort of day I’m having, ‘almost a giggle’ is quite a result. It reminds me why Mallory is my best friend. One of the reasons, at any rate. She has this knack of being able to perk me up instantly – whether her remarks are intentionally funny or otherwise.

‘I’m feeling better by the minute,’ I tell her honestly.

I leave Mallory scouting round the grounds while I head up to the bride’s bedroom.

Squeals of delight greet me when I enter – mainly from Chloe and Sophie, her cousin. Both are bridesmaids and both are already high as kites with excitement.

Andrea, slim and newly fake-tanned in cream satin bridal underwear, is standing by a free-standing mirror, holding in front of her The Dress.

‘Hi, Katy. What do you think?’ she squeaks. ‘Isn’t it just Kim’s dress to a tee?’

‘Gosh. Yes. It’s amazing.’ I’ve no idea what Kim Kardashian’s wedding gown looked like but there’s no denying it, Andrea’s dress is stunning.

‘It’s a mermaid silhouette gown,’ she says proudly, swishing it in front of her. ‘See the fishtail?’

‘Put it on, Mum,’ orders Chloe. She grins at me. ‘I’m Kourtney and Sophie is Kendall.’

She sees my knitted brow.

‘Kardashian?’

‘Ah. Right. Well, you both look sensational,’ I say honestly. They do. They’re wearing identical white dresses. Long and figure-hugging with posies of white roses.

Andrea’s dress, when she’s eventually in it, is quite simply jaw-dropping.

White with long lace sleeves, it’s quite modest from the front.

But when she turns and looks back at us with a coquettish little smile, we all let out a gasp.

The gown is daringly backless, plunging down almost to Andrea’s waist, with a long train stretching out over the carpet. Neither is the veil a shrinking violet. It’s quite simply the longest I’ve ever seen, swooping right to the floor. With her deep tan, Andrea carries it off perfectly. Ron really won’t know what to do with himself.

‘Ron’s getting a buzz cut,’ says Chloe, raising one eyebrow. ‘So he’ll look the image of Kanye.’ She looks at Sophie and they both burst out laughing.

Andrea seems totally unperturbed. She’s too busy swishing this way and that in front of the mirror. And to be fair, the girls’ merriment is probably far more to do with the excitement of the occasion, than deliberately taking the mickey out of poor Ron.

Andrea turns suddenly. ‘You’ll never believe it, Katy. The wedding’s off.’

‘What?’ I stare at her, confused.

She laughs and waves a hand at my daftness. ‘Not our wedding, silly. Dieter Hanson’s wedding to Blaze Jorgensen.’

‘Oh. Right. I see.’ To be honest, I’d forgotten all about it.

‘It was meant to be today? The same day as ours?’

‘Yes. I remember now.’

She nods at the open tabloid newspaper on the bed. Dutifully, I go over and glance at the headline. Sure enough, there it is. The whole story with a picture of Dieter Hanson emerging from some building with his head down, looking understandably devastated.

I must still be feeling fairly wobbly after hearing about Sienna’s imminent return, because his plight suddenly strikes me as incredibly sad. The breakdown of a relationship once so full of promise. All those dashed hopes and dreams. One person left to pick up the pieces of their life …

My throat is suddenly thick with emotion. I’m no stranger to the trauma of love gone wrong. I know exactly how Dieter Hanson must be feeling today.

‘I felt so sorry for him, I sent him an invitation to our wedding,’ says Andrea.

Her announcement is so unexpected, it instantly catapults me out of my sudden gloom.

We all stare at the bride for an incredulous moment. Then Chloe and Sophie burst into gales of laughter.

Andrea purses her lips. ‘Well, that’s not very nice, I must say. The poor man must be absolutely devastated.’

‘Oh, Mum, we’re not laughing at him being jilted.’ Chloe looks guiltily at me. ‘It’s just do you really think he’s going to want to come to your wedding?’

Andrea shrugs huffily. ‘Probably not. I just thought it might cheer him up to be asked.’

Chloe looks at me as if to say, A film star at my mum’s wedding? I think not!

But when Andrea glances at me for support, I find myself nodding. ‘Absolutely. You need all the support you can get at a horrible time like that, when you feel as if nothing makes sense any more and all the colour has been bleached out of your world.’ I swallow hard. ‘And your guts are being slowly dragged out through your mouth by an alien force …’

All heads whip round to me. I suddenly remember where I am and my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

‘Right, let’s get some shots of this amazing dress,’ I say hurriedly, moving round to find the perfect angle.

Bloody hell, it’s not like me to overreact like that. Especially in a professional setting. Mum’s bombshell news about Sienna coming home has knocked me completely off-kilter.

Andrea fills a glass with champagne, which she shoves into my hand, clearly thinking I need it after my bout of emotional leakage. A glass of delicious fizz would definitely help. But after taking one sip, I set it firmly down.

I’ve learned from experience.

At one of my first ever weddings, the champagne in the bride’s room was flowing freely and I was so nervous, I drank two glasses on an empty stomach then spent the next three hours trying to enunciate my words and keep the camera from wobbling. I have no memory of taking the photographs, although strangely, it turned out to be one of the best albums I’ve ever produced. What it lacks in formal group shots, it more than makes up for in candid, relaxed photos of all the guests, which suggests I was snapping away happily as if I was on my holidays.

Thankfully, the bride and groom loved that album. Even if I did have to delete an unsually high number of blurry images and photos of nothing but feet.

I’m very aware it could have been a different story altogether.

I steer clear of the champagne now, tempting though it is. One sip is definitely enough.

The girls are admiring themselves in the mirror and chattering away about the cancelled wedding.

‘I feel dead sorry for poor Dieter,’ Sophie says, thrusting her face close to the mirror to apply more lip gloss. ‘It was bad enough when Ryan dumped me last year, but imagine how horrible it would be having it splashed across the front pages like that.’ She nods at the tabloid newspaper on the bed. ‘I’d absolutely want to hide away forever.’

‘I hope it’s not a bad omen,’ says Andrea with a nervous giggle. ‘Ron had better show up.’

Chloe laughs. ‘Don’t be daft, Mum, of course he will.’

Andrea smiles fondly and reaches for her daughter’s hand. ‘Oh, isn’t this lovely?’ Her eyes are misty. ‘You know what I wish? I wish I’d thought to bring a notebook and pen so I could have written down the whole story of our wedding day – all the tiny little details that are so special to me, then I’d never, ever forget them.’

‘If you were writing all day, you’d have no time to get married,’ giggles Sophie.

‘Oh, God,’ exclaims Andrea. She looks up, opens her eyes wide and blinks furiously. ‘My eye make-up’s going to smudge.’

I whip out a paper hanky from the stash I carry for emotional emergencies.

Andrea carefully blots her under-eyes, then all three stand by the elegant, free-standing mirror so that I can take some shots of their reflection. Then I take some of the two girls fixing Andrea’s veil before saying, ‘Right, come on, everyone, pick up your glasses and let’s do a toast for the camera!’

Finally, I position Andrea next to the tall sash window, holding her bouquet and looking out dreamily over the lawns, the perfect showcase for her incredible dress.

Everyone goes silent. My own throat is suddenly thick with emotion again.

‘Oh, Mum, you look absolutely stunning,’ breathes Chloe. ‘Have you got another hanky, Katy?’

I dig one out for her.

Then I leave them to finish off getting ready, and go off to find Mallory and check out the room where the ceremony is to be held.

The official part of the day takes place in a purpose-built annexe a few yards from the main hotel, and several intriguingly dressed guests are already lingering outside the room, waiting to be allowed in.

The Queen and Prince Philip are chatting to Posh and Becks about the traffic on the bypass.

‘Posh’ looks model lean and elegant in a figure-hugging black dress, cut an inch or so below the knee, with impossibly spindly heels and what I suspect is a shiny black wig in a sleek, geometric cut. Her ‘Becks’ is standing, arms folded, looking extremely awkward in his sarong.

‘Mind, I don’t know how she does it,’ the Queen says. ‘I’ve had this thing on for less than an hour and already it’s irritating the life out of me. Plus it’s too big.’ She shakes her head and the gem-studded crown slips down over one eye.

Posh, seeing me – and therefore an audience – straightens up, takes David’s arm and slinks into a catwalk pose, staring poutingly into the distance with a bored look on her face.

A helpful male member of staff opens the door for me and I go inside. I’ve photographed many a wedding in this room, but it’s always good to double-check the venue in case anything has changed.

Satisfied I’m familiar with the layout and have some idea where I’ll position myself for the photos, I go outside to find Mallory.

Standing at the hotel entrance, I survey the scene.

The car park is filling up.

A scent of damp trees and woodsmoke hangs in the clear, cold air as guests climb out of their cars and head for the wedding annexe. I spot a variety of Queens and Prince Philips, two Sonny and Chers in ridiculously big wigs, and a Marilyn Monroe with a man in glasses who I suppose is meant to be Arthur Miller. It strikes me that it’s generally the women who have gone that extra mile in the dressing-up stakes. (With the exception of the man dressed as an inflatable vibrator, emerging from a Vauxhall Corsa with his other half, the Battery Bunny.)

My attention is caught by a tall man in jeans and a well-worn casual jacket, standing at the entrance to the car park. He seems vaguely familiar although I’m struggling to place him. Every now and again, he stops a group of guests, charms them into posing and quickly takes a few shots.

Great. Just what I need. A guest who fancies himself as another David Bailey.

Well, just as long as he doesn’t get in my way …

I spot Mallory crossing the lawn to join me.

‘Who’s that?’ I nod at the man.

‘Whoever do you mean? Sexy Hugh Jackman over there?’

I laugh. ‘He doesn’t look in the least like Hugh Jackman.’

‘How not?’ asks Mallory, lingering on the view. ‘Dark hair, broad shoulders, great smile, very nice.’

I shrug. ‘He’s far too tall.’

‘Well, Hugh Jackman’s tall. At least six foot, I’d say, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yes, but I bet he’d never go to a wedding looking like he just rolled out of bed ten minutes ago. He’s not even wearing fancy dress.’

‘Hmm.’ Mallory takes her time considering. ‘You do have a point. Sexy, though, that dressed-down jeans look. Exceptional bottom—’

The penny suddenly drops. And I swear it’s absolutely nothing to do with the exceptional bottom.

‘Oh God, I don’t believe it,’ I mutter. ‘It’s him.’

SEVEN

‘Who?’ demands Mallory. ‘Who is it?’

‘It’s that man,’ I say faintly. ‘The one I maimed, leaping over the fence.’

‘Really?’ Mallory stares intently. Then she scrabbles in her bag and brings out her glasses.

‘What are you doing?’ I demand.

‘Having a closer look, darling. What do you think?’

‘Mallory!’

Terrified he’ll spot her ogling him, I hurry off to the wedding annexe, pausing once to beckon for her to follow me. And doesn’t she choose that very moment to call helpfully, ‘He doesn’t seem to be limping now.’

My face flushes the colour of a ripe tomato.

I don’t dare look back to see if he heard.

Mallory gives me a funny look as if I’m making a mountain out of a molehill but I just ignore her. Sometimes I wish she wasn’t quite so tuned into my emotions.

The room where the wedding ceremony is taking place has a peaceful, soothing effect. I force myself to take in the sumptuous details – the rich fabric of the wine-coloured chairs, set out theatre-style, the log fire burning in the grate, casting its reflection in two of the most spectacular crystal chandeliers I’ve ever seen. At either end of the aisle, a glowing church candle sits atop an ornate holder entwined with foliage and white roses.

The place is filled with a delicate floral scent, and I stand at the back of the room, taking a few deep breaths to help me focus on the task in hand. It’s proving to be quite a challenging day, what with Mum’s news about Sienna and now Runner Man turning up out of the blue to shake my composure by reminding me of the fence incident (so embarrassing). But I have a job to do and I will not allow anything to distract me.