No Place Like Home

Standing, he returned his hat to his head and walked down to the pleasant brick building that provided lodging for the farmhands. Following excellent recommendations from the previous owner, he’d taken the workers on along with the property. The horses and land were in good hands with them. Ben made a mental note to specify that he wanted their interests looked after when he sold the property on.

‘Hey Jed,’ he called, addressing the head rancher as he held out his hand.

‘Hey, Mr Danvers,’ Jed replied, shaking it. ‘You showing Mrs Danvers around?’ Jed had seen them arrive in a shiny sports car that didn’t seem the best choice for the tracks around here but then rich people tended to do things their own way from what he’d seen.

‘Yeah.’ Ben smiled. ‘She got called back to the city though.’

‘Oh, that’s a shame. Still. Plenty of time.’

Ben smiled. At least Jed made the effort. When they’d visited before, they’d met up with Jed so that he could show them around the land. Cyndi’s snobbery had shown its ugly head again then as she turned up her nose at the hat Jed had kindly offered her – a perfectly clean and acceptable one – in order to protect her from the heat of the day. She’d blanked him and walked off, dropping her designer sunglasses back in front of her face for the rest of the visit and asking Ben questions which would have been better directed at the ranch hand.

Her behaviour had caused Ben to cringe and, having made some lame excuse to Jed about her feeling out of sorts today, he’d called her out on it on the way home. She’d made a vague sort of apology and her behaviour had seemed to ease for a couple of days, but as soon as she was back with her friends, Ben saw the trait float to the surface again. Cyndi had been spoiled from day one by her parents and now by him. He knew he had to accept some of the blame. He’d been bowled over by her the moment he met her and swore then and there that whatever she wanted, he would give it to her. It was, after all, what she was used to and if he didn’t, someone else sure would. But she definitely didn’t want this house.

‘Jed, do you think I could borrow the old truck for a couple of days?’

‘Don’t see why not? It might need some gas though.’ Jed picked the keys off a hook and tossed them over.

Ben tried his sister intermittently as he drove back towards town but the line was constantly busy. Just as the apartment building came into view, it finally connected.

‘Hello. You’ve reached Sandy Danvers. I’m afraid I can’t take your call right—’

Ben hung up. She must already be on her way to the apartment, and rarely chose to connect her Bluetooth in the car, telling him that she enjoyed the feeling of being unplugged for once.

Parking behind Cyndi’s Porsche, Ben got out and locked the door. A grin played on his mouth as he walked away. The battered, dusty truck looked so out of place among the sleek saloons, SUVs and shiny sports cars that decorated the apartment lot. He kind of liked it. Approaching the entrance, Ben punched in the code. The buzzer sounded and he pushed open the heavy glass door.

‘Evening, Mr Danvers.’

‘Hi, Jerry. I don’t suppose you saw my sister go up this evening at all?’

‘I’m sorry, sir, no. I just came on duty a minute ago.’

‘That’s OK. Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight, sir.’

Ben bounded up the stairs two at a time. Cyndi always tutted and sighed at him whenever he did that. He was still upset about the house but maybe they could find some sort of compromise – he’d been right to come back tonight instead of sitting there, brooding over what could have been. Despite her faults, he loved his wife and knew that he was nowhere near perfect himself. He should have known not to buy something as major as a house without discussing it with her first. Although, he had a feeling if he’d have bought a place in Barbados, there would have been a lot less drama.

The elevator doors pinged open just as Ben walked past them and Sandy stepped out followed by Todd.

‘Ben! What are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the ranch tonight?’

He bent and kissed her, before shaking Todd’s hand. ‘Yeah. Slight change of plan. I’ve been trying to call you.’

‘Not to worry.’ Sandy paused, studying his face. ‘She didn’t like it, did she?’

Ben looked up from the bunch of keys he was fiddling with. She could read him like a book. Always had. He could never lie to her. ‘No.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Sandy replied, her heart breaking a little at the look in Ben’s eyes – a look he was trying to hide. He shrugged his shoulders as he picked out the correct key. ‘We’ll be on our way,’ she said, taking Todd’s hand and turning to go as Ben opened the door to the apartment.

‘No.’ He raised a hand. ‘We’re fine. You may as well stay for a coffee, just so’s it’s not an entirely wasted journey. I’ll go get Cyndi.’

Cyndi’s shout of surprise made both Todd and Sandy jump. Exchanging a quick glance, Sandy moved a few paces across to peek towards the bedroom where the scream had emanated from. The look on her face made Todd follow, coming to stand behind her. Ben was leaning on the wall outside the bedroom door, his head tilted back, eyes raised to the ceiling, his skin pale, and looking desperately like he was trying not to throw up. ‘Ben?’ Sandy prompted, as she began to approach him. Suddenly she was halted by a man leaving the bedroom. Looking dishevelled, he hurried past them all, eyes lowered. The latch of the front door clicked loudly in the stunned silence. Ben pulled his head back, took a deep breath and then turning, looked back into the bedroom.

‘Apparently we need to talk.’

‘We should go,’ Sandy stated as they stood in the living room, waiting for Cyndi to make her entrance. ‘I think that’s a good idea,’ Cyndi agreed as she entered, tying the belt on a shimmering silk robe. Her expression was hard to read – she seemed neither embarrassed nor proud of being caught with a lover by her husband. But then she caught the look in her husband’s startling blue eyes. For a moment, it shocked her. They were filled with such pain and such anger – something she’d never seen before. It unsteadied her haughty demeanour and her eyes darted to her sister-in-law. There, in brown eyes instead of blue, she saw the same pain and a whole lot more anger.

‘How long, Cyndi?’ Ben asked.

‘Ben, I don’t think this is a conversation we ought to be having in front of company.’

For once Sandy agreed with Cyndi. Moving across the room, one hand gripping Todd’s, she stopped briefly and gave her brother’s balled fist a squeeze and then let herself and Todd out of the apartment.

‘How long?’ Ben asked again after the door had closed behind his sister.

‘How long what?’

‘For Christ’s sake, Cyndi!’ Ben exploded, making her step back in shock. ‘I know you’re not as dumb as you try to make out so just answer the damn question. How long have you been sleeping around?’ The slap took him by surprise.

‘How dare you!’

‘How dare I?’ He felt a strange desire to laugh, as his hand touched the sting on his cheek. ‘I wasn’t the one caught with my panties down!’

‘Oh, grow up! You can’t tell me you didn’t know.’

Ben sat down heavily, as though his knees could no longer support him. Cyndi hesitated and then sat opposite him. In a way it made it all so much worse. In the past when they rowed, she would storm off, slam the bedroom door and sulk for half an hour. Ben would potter around and then, after the set time had elapsed, he’d go in with a peace offering and they’d make up. But apparently Cyndi had no intention of stomping off this time. That fact meant that she wanted to deal with it, and that in turn confirmed to Ben it really was over.

He looked back at the beautiful face. There was little emotion to be read on it and he no longer knew how much of that was due to Botox and filler and how much was just due to Cyndi. In complete contrast, Ben’s eyes were red, his hair was off in a bunch of different directions from where he’d been running his hands through it and his throat felt rough and constricted.

Cyndi looked back at the man she had loved.

‘Nearly a year,’ she said quietly.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. I guess I was bored. The tour was great but then when that finished, I guess – it was just so … normal.’

Ben smiled but it was cold and didn’t warm the ice of his eyes.

‘Why are you smiling?’ Cyndi asked, warily, unsure whether she truly wanted to know the answer.

‘I suppose that answers everyone’s questions as to whether you would have married me if I wasn’t part of Cheyenne.’

Cyndi lowered her eyes. Ben had hoped for a denial, or at least an attempt at one, but she made none.

‘I always told you I was just a regular guy, Cyndi, but I guess that wasn’t enough for you?’

‘I did love you, Ben.’

He looked at her and tried to believe it.

‘Do you love him?’ he asked, his fingers twiddling the gold band on his left hand

‘I don’t know.’

Cyndi could see the muscles in Ben’s jaw working.

‘So you threw our marriage away on a “don’t know”?’ She made no answer. ‘What else is there, Cyndi?’ Ben’s uncharacteristic anger was bubbling up again. If she’d admitted to falling in love with someone else, he might have been able to understand it – in time at least. Ben was an old-fashioned romantic at heart and true love would win him every time. But this? This, he couldn’t understand. He’d loved Cyndi with all his heart. He’d meant every single vow he’d made and the thought she had destroyed everything on a whim was beyond him.

‘It’s just sex then?’

‘No.’

‘So, it’s not love and it’s not sex. What is it, Cyndi? What else is there? Why else would you bring him into our house, into our bed?’ He raised his palms to the ceiling. ‘You’re really gonna have to help me out here ’cause I’m struggling to find another reason.’

Hs wife noticed the strength in his accent. Ben rarely showed his temper but when he did, his accent always increased the angrier he got. It seemed to be a Danvers trait.

‘Don’t be sarcastic, Ben. It doesn’t suit you.’

‘Oh, really? Is that so?’

‘Yes!’

Heavy silence filled the room as they glared at each other. Cyndi began to speak again. She wasn’t used to feeling out of control and she didn’t like it. She’d expected Ben to have started trying to win her back by now. Promising her something else – she wasn’t sure what yet. She’d have to think about that. And she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to be won back. But she certainly didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t even trying – just standing there glaring at her. Like it wasn’t his fault too. Why should she take all the blame?

‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’ She shrugged. It’s not love and it’s not just sex. I guess it’s … something in between.’ She tossed her now brushed-out hair. ‘We just have a great time together – in and out of bed!’ The pained look on Ben’s face shocked her, and suddenly she knew she had gone too far. Cut him far more deeply than she’d realised. She also knew he didn’t deserve this. Growing up, everyone had always said Cyndi Lawson was going to be a heartbreaker, and she’d been pleased with that description, knowing that it gave her power and got her attention, but right up until this moment, she had thought it was just a phrase.

Ben didn’t have the energy or the words to respond to his wife. His stomach churned and his breath felt laboured as though he’d been punched. Cyndi moved towards him.

‘Don’t.’ His voice was raw as he took a step away.

‘Ben, please.’ Ben looked down at the face that had captivated him from the moment he’d seen her. Stunning, like a Hollywood starlet, and he’d fallen for her completely. She’d been so sweet to him at the beginning and he’d loved her. Utterly. Completely. With everything he had. And now? What? He felt numb.

‘I loved you so much,’ he said.

There were tears in her eyes and this time he could tell they were genuine. ‘I know.’

*

Ben drove around for hours, not seeing where he was, replaying things over and over again in his mind. They had a great time ‘in and out of bed’. The phrase got louder and louder in his head until it was the only thing he could hear. At the next junction, he hung a U-turn and pressed the accelerator.

*

Todd opened his front door without checking the peephole and stood aside, already expecting the visitor. Sandy walked through from the kitchen, two beers in her hand and looked up at her brother, her eyes welling up as she did so. Despite his size, he looked small and broken. Crossing the room, she hugged him without a word, then handed him one of the beers.

‘Here. I think you need this more than I do.’

‘Thanks.’

Sandy returned from the kitchen with a replacement beer for herself and they sat in silence for a few moments.

‘Man, am I stupid!’ Ben said, eventually, shaking his head. He tried to laugh but a strangulated noise replaced the sound.

‘No, you’re not.’

‘A year! Nearly a year and I never suspected a thing!’

‘There was no reason you should have. You trusted her,’ Todd countered.

‘Yeah! Not one of my finer decisions apparently,’ Ben replied as he got up and began pacing the floor. ‘I mean, I know things weren’t perfect but I just thought we’d work through them, you know? I didn’t think she’d ever …’ His voice cracked. ‘I guess if I’m honest, it’s been coming for a while. I just didn’t want to see it. It’s pretty obvious that we have nothing in common. We hold different values. Hell, she practically told me I don’t even satisfy her in bed!’

Across the room Todd raised his eyebrows. He knew a few of the women Ben had dated over the years and that definitely wasn’t the impression he’d been given. Glancing over at his fiancée, he could tell she was just dying to run up and hug her brother, tell him he was way too good for that woman anyway, but she knew that wasn’t the kind of support he needed right now. But Todd could see that inside she was raging with fury at her sister-in-law as her eyes burned with unshed tears at seeing Ben in so much pain.

Ben continued. ‘You know what’s funny, I went to touch her hair earlier today at the ranch. I don’t know … stupid thing … the wind wasn’t moving it and … anyway. Not important. But the thing was, she went absolutely nuts! Her husband goes to touch just her hair and she freaks out yet she’s happy to roll around with God knows who in our bed! How messed up is that?’ He took a swig from the bottle and wiped a stray tear away impatiently. ‘Couldn’t even go to a hotel. Takes him right there, under my nose!’ Todd looked up from his beer bottle and studied his friend. Anger and frustration strained at Ben’s emotional seams. Standing, he placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, gently steering him towards the garage. Ben looked perplexed at his friend as he took the beer from his hand and then opened the internal door to the garage. Todd nodded to the punchbag and tossed over a pair of gloves.

‘Knock yourself out.’ He gave him a half-smile. ‘Though preferably not literally.’

The sweat was pouring off Ben when he returned half an hour later. His shirt was in a ball in his hand and the waistband of his jeans was damp from his exertions. Sandy walked past him on her way to the kitchen.

‘Poo-eee!’

Ben smiled sarcastically and then hugged her.

‘Ugh! No! Get off! Get off!’ she yelled, pushing him away. His mouth attempted a smile.

‘Feel better?’ Todd ventured.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’ He paused. ‘Thanks.’ Todd nodded in acceptance.

‘Are you going to take a shower?’ Sandy asked, having retreated to a safe distance.

‘Is that a hint?’

‘More of a demand.’ She smiled at him. ‘Throw out your stuff and I’ll wash it.’

‘OK, thanks.’ Ben headed off to the guest room and shower and then poked his head back around the corner. ‘For everything.’

Sandy smiled, kissed him on the cheek and then pushed him towards the bathroom.

Chapter 4

One Year Later

‘Try to stay in one piece.’ Sandy smiled and kissed her fiancé, before burying her face in his neck. ‘I wish you wouldn’t do this,’ she whispered.

Todd turned his head and kissed her temple. Gently he took her face in his hands and kissed her, long and loving, before pulling back and meeting her eyes.

‘Honey, I’m an old hand at this, you know that. I’ve been doing this since I was five years old. There’s nothing to worry about. OK?’ She nodded against his hands, unconvinced.

Pulling her to him, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, their bodies as close as he could make them. ‘Besides, you think I’d do anything that would risk me not coming back to you every night?’ She shook her head against his chest.

Stepping back, he took her face again. ‘Ok, then,’ he said, kissing her goodbye. ‘I’ll see you this evening.’

Sandy nodded and forced a smile as he brushed his fingers against hers, then jogged to the kerb. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go!’ Todd said, climbing into Ben’s truck as Sandy walked up to the driver’s side and smiled at her big brother.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

‘Have a good time.’

Ben leant out of the window and kissed Sandy on the cheek. ‘We will. Now stop worrying. I’ll look after him. I promise.’ She smiled and waved until they turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

Sandy read the same line of her novel five times before giving up and closing the book. It was always the same – she just couldn’t concentrate when Todd went to the rodeo. Mostly she went with him but she had an appointment with the wedding reception venue this afternoon that they’d been waiting ages for. It was an extremely popular location and already had bookings three years in advance; although it was their dream choice, there was no way they wanted to wait that long. Thankfully a cancellation slot that worked for them had come up and Sandy didn’t want to risk losing it by not seeming interested. Obviously, she’d rather they’d both been going but Todd had been doing rodeo ever since she’d known him and there were always dates that he wasn’t available. As she hadn’t been able to change the venue appointment, it was what it was. Todd had already told her that whatever she chose he’d be happy with, saying that all he wanted was to marry her and he’d happily do that in shorts and sneakers on the back porch so long as it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with her. Anything else that would make her happy was a bonus. Staring at the cover of the novel for a moment, she tossed it down and grabbed her car keys instead.

It was always an enjoyable drive out to Ben’s ranch. There was an open offer to close friends and family to ride the horses whenever they liked and right then, she felt it might help take her mind off worrying about Todd.

As she pulled into the drive, she smiled. It really was a beautiful house with its wooden slats and shutters, and the porch wrapping around it as though it was giving the house a big hug. Sandy parked the car out front and began walking down to the stables.

*

Ben and Todd had been coming to the rodeo for longer than either of them could remember. Todd had been fascinated by it from his very first visit and had been addicted ever since. He’d begged to be allowed to take part and eventually his family had relented. A natural talent, he was soon winning local and then national championships. The draw of it hadn’t diminished as he’d got older and he’d been lucky, he knew. There was no denying that it was dangerous and he’d seen more than his fair share of injuries to both clowns and riders. He hated that it upset Sandy when he took part but they’d made a deal that once they were married, he’d stop. Their plan was to start a family soon after anyway, so he had a feeling free time was going be pretty scarce. Aside from which, why would he be here when he could be somewhere else that meant everything to him?

‘Feels weird Sandy not being here today,’ he said to Ben as he got ready for his first ride.

Ben nodded. ‘She really wants that venue though.’

Todd smiled. ‘That’s true. She’s had her heart set on it ever since we got engaged. I kind of feel bad I’m not there with her. Maybe I should have cancelled today.’

‘You’ve visited that place before, right?’

Todd bent and adjusted his boot. ‘Mm-hmm. We got a tour like the day after the engagement.’

‘OK. So today’s what? Just more details?’ Ben asked.

Todd shrugged. ‘I guess so.’

‘Does any of that matter to you? I mean, would you even notice if the bows were satin instead of silk?’

He straightened and stretched his back. ‘All that matters to me is marrying your sister.’

‘So, stop worrying about it. If Sandy had really wanted you to go, she’d have told you. I think we both know that. I’m pretty sure you’d just be in the way today.’

Pushing on his hat, Todd grinned. ‘Something tells me you might be right.’

Ben gave him a quick hug and then clapped his shoulder. ‘Be good and be safe,’ he said.

‘But not in that order.’ Todd finished off their pre-ride ritual, turned and walked across to meet his next challenge.

His friend left to find a good place to watch the next rounds, and sat comfortably chatting with a few of the regulars as they viewed the action, comments and applause mingling as the talent or technique of a particular rider was noted. Glancing over, he could see the top of Todd’s hat as his friend braced himself, ready for the gate to the arena to open.

*

Ben had heard a rodeo arena go silent before and it always turned his blood cold. But this time he was completely frozen. Paralysed by the sight of Todd lying on the arena floor as rodeo clowns risked their lives to keep the still bucking animal away from the broken, unmoving body. And then Ben started to run.

They’d held him back, telling him that the last thing they needed was another person at risk and it had seemed like forever until he was able to see his friend. But Todd couldn’t see him. He’d lost consciousness the moment he’d hit the ground and still hadn’t regained it. As he was wired and tubed up in the ambulance, Ben sat across from him feeling useless and terrified. The siren screamed as they raced through the streets towards the hospital on the other side of town. His hand clutched his phone and he knew what he had to do.

Sandy was just leading Chancer out of the stables, chatting with Jed, when her cell phone rang. She checked the display and blanched.

‘What’s happened?’

*

Jed drove Sandy to the hospital. One look at her face had told him that she wasn’t in any shape to drive herself. From what he’d been able to get out of her, Todd had taken a bad fall at the rodeo and still hadn’t regained consciousness. She was almost out of the truck before Jed had pulled to a halt outside the hospital doors. He watched her sprint inside, waited a moment, then drove away, praying all the way home that Todd would be OK.

*

It had been four days since the accident, and now it wasn’t only Todd’s health worrying loved ones. Still swarming with wires and tubes, there had been no improvement in Todd’s condition but neither was there any deterioration. Sandy had refused to leave her fiancé’s bedside from the moment she’d been allowed to see him. She wouldn’t eat and barely slept. Occasionally slumber stole over her, trying to embrace her in its warm comfort but she fought against it with a powerful vengeance and, so far, she was winning.

Ben studied his sister as he placed yet another cup of coffee on the table beside her.

‘You really ought to try and eat something, sweetheart.’

‘I’m not hungry.

‘Even so.’

She didn’t look at him. She’d barely looked at anyone but her fiancé for days. Her total attention was focused on Todd, hoping for a glimmer of movement, the faintest of signs that he was still in there, and would be back with her soon. Ben took in the dark circles under Sandy’s eyes, the pale skin on her drawn and tired face, his guilt increasing as he did so.