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A Home at Honeysuckle Farm: A gorgeous and heartwarming summer read
Almost immediately, Molly reached over the table and grasped both my hands.
‘Oh, Alice,’ she said softly, ‘what can I do to help?’
I could tell by the look on her face she’d no clue to how I was feeling. Of course, living in New York had its good moments, but there was something inside me telling me I just didn’t belong here anymore, I didn’t fit in – and I never really had. Even at school, I was the girl with the pale freckled face, the English girl with the funny accent who always stood out.
Mum would never talk about the reason we moved to New York, and as time went on it became even more difficult to broach the subject with her.
My voice quivered, ‘I’m not sure there is anything you can do … I must have been standing at the top of the Empire State Building for ages, lost in my own thoughts, staring out over the city. And then, all around me, applause erupted. I looked round to see a crowd of people had gathered around this couple. There was a man bending down on one knee looking up at a woman grasping a burgundy box. You could see how much he loved her and right there and then, he proposed! What a proposal, Molly! It was so romantic, all hearts and flowers, something out of a fairy-tale but … it just made me think, what have I got here?’
‘You’re not too shabby,’ she gave me a half-hearted smile, trying to lighten the mood. ‘I know loads of men who’d give their right arm for a date with you … except maybe I would lose the eighties rock make-up first.’
‘I’m lonely Mol, sat here in this dingy flat with hardly any money, working any job I can to make ends meet. Surely there’s got to be more to life than this?’
Over time I’d begun to resent this flat more and more. In the last week alone my sleep had been disturbed nearly every night. Music pounded through the wafer-thin walls from the flat above, the lampshade shaking from the vibrating drum and bass. Often, I’d spend my nights shouting expletives and banging on the ceiling with the handle of the broom, and when that didn’t work I’d bury my head under the pillow in an attempt to block out the sound.
‘I’d never realised things had got this bad,’ said Molly, her attention unwavering. ‘Let me see if there’s anything at the radio station.’
‘It’s too late,’ I said softly, ‘it’s too late.’ Casually leaning both my hands on the table, I sighed.
Molly gave an infinitesimal nod, taking in what I was saying, and we sat there in silence for a moment.
‘In time, you’ll meet the right man,’ she offered.
I managed a smile. ‘It’s not just that.’ There had been something on my mind for a while, a niggle, an itch that needed scratching, but I just hadn’t said the words out loud.
I took a deep breath. This was the time to clear my conscience and confess all while I had Molly’s full attention. She was my best friend and I’d no idea how she was going to react to my next bit of news. But I managed to splutter the words out: ‘I’m thinking of going back to England.’
I watched as the words registered on Molly’s face. Her expression changed then she sprang upright in her seat like a jack-in-the-box being unleashed for the very first time.
‘Alice, England’s over 3,000 miles away,’ she finally said, breaking the silence. It was difficult for her to keep her voice steady.
‘I know, but it’s been playing on my mind for a while,’ I answered truthfully.
Molly’s bottom lip wobbled. ‘How long is a while? And why didn’t I have any idea about any of this?’ She fiddled with the strap of her Garmin with a grief-stricken look on her face.
‘Maybe the last six months or so, but even more so since I received this,’ I admitted, exhaling slowly and turning my laptop towards her so she could read the message I’d received at the beginning of the week via Facebook from Grace.
Grace Anderson and I had known each other from the year dot. Our mums had been the best of friends and as children, we’d gone everywhere together. Not only were we in the same class at school but we’d shared a passion for dance and drama, and every Saturday, dressed in all things pinkish, Grace’s mum Connie had dropped her off at Grandie’s ballet school, where my mum had worked as a dance teacher. Everyone thought we were sisters as we twirled with our identical long plaited coffee-coloured hair, blue eyes and a string of freckles across our noses. Back then, we had been inseparable, the best of friends until the day I left.
When I’d left, I remembered Grace clinging to me on the step, making me promise to write to her as soon as I could. I never broke that promise and never lost touch. Over the years, staying in touch had become easier. We’d followed each other’s lives on social media and I’d been thrilled to see that she was living her dream, starring in the theatre in Birmingham, even though I had to admit I was a tiny bit jealous that her career had worked out much better than mine.
I felt my pulse quicken as Molly began to read Grace’s message:
Dear Alice
I hope you’re behaving in that big old city and it’s treating you well.
Please forgive me for the late-night message, I’ve toyed for the past twenty-four hours about whether to say anything at all but decided that if I were you, I’d want to know. I’m afraid your grandfather isn’t well. His health has been deteriorating over the last couple of months and he’s been admitted to the local hospital. Mum is still cleaning and acting as general housekeeper up at Honeysuckle Farm. He’s mentioned to her he would like to see you one last time, which I know may be difficult in the current circumstances, but I feel you needed to know.
If you decide you want to come back, there’s always a spare bed at mine. I would love to see you too!
Grace xx
‘Does your mom know about this?’ Molly’s eyes were wide as saucers as she tucked her feet back underneath her.
I swallowed hard and shook my head.
‘You’ll have to tell her you are going back to England. You can’t just up and leave without saying a word.’ Molly managed a glimmer of a smile, ‘You need to go, Alice.’ Her voice faltered as she handed the laptop back to me and I slowly closed the lid. ‘You need to see your grandfather. They don’t live forever, and time is precious.’
I knew Molly was right, I didn’t have any intention of just upping and leaving but I didn’t relish the idea of telling Mum either. I’d no clue how she was going to react. Grandie’s name had not been mentioned for years, in fact it was never mentioned again after the day we left. My stomach was churning just thinking about it.
‘Don’t worry, you have me to help you through it,’ Molly said, giving me a reassuring smile.
‘Thanks, Mol, it means a lot.’
‘Are you definitely sure about this?’
I nodded, ‘Definitely sure. I need to see him again. It might be my last time.’
‘I know,’ Molly’s voice was barely a whisper.
‘Grace wouldn’t message me if it wasn’t serious and something inside me is telling me I need to try and put this situation right.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked tentatively.
‘I loved Grandie, I still love Grandie, but at the time we left, I didn’t have any choice, I was ten-years-old. But I do have a choice now. I’m my own person and whatever went on between him and Mum is not my argument.’
Molly gave a brief nod of understanding. ‘Do you have any idea what the argument between them was about?’
‘No,’ I shook my head and felt myself tremble, remembering back to that day. ‘I’ve no idea, all I know is that Grandie was angry, shouting she’d betrayed him in some way.’ The pain twisted in my stomach just thinking about those words.
‘Do you remember much about England?’
I nodded and smiled, and a warmth filled my heart just thinking about it. ‘Grandie lives at Honeysuckle Farm, and we lived in the annexe attached to the farmhouse.’ I hadn’t realised how much I missed him, until now.
‘Sounds very grand.’
‘It is,’ I cast my mind back, remembering the three-storey building full of exposed brick, wooden beams and huge stone fireplaces which roared every winter. ‘And there was a secret spiral staircase at the back of the house.’
‘Very quaint, like something out of a romantic novel.’
I smiled. Honeysuckle Farm was idyllic, set in acres of land with stone walls, ponies and chickens. ‘One day, you need to come and visit.’
‘I’d love to.’
‘Then there was the dance school where my love of ballet and drama began. Mum was a teacher there and helped to run the business. The idea was that she’d completely take it over from Grandie when he retired.’
Molly frowned at me with concern, ‘Do you know what happened to it? Is it still up and running?’
‘I’m not sure, I’m assuming eventually it closed down.’ My tone was pained, thinking about it. I’d never even asked Grace whether it was still there. As time passed it had never really crossed my mind what had happened to it, but it was that little place that had moulded my dreams into becoming a performer. I’d loved dancing there.
‘Such a shame.’
I nodded, ‘You’d love Brook Bridge; it’s a pretty village, a typical idyllic setting with lovely tea shops too, all things rustic.’
‘Very England!’
I felt a sudden warmth surge through my body, a feeling of belonging at my memories.
‘It was a wonderful place, but I’ve no idea what it’s like now.’ I began to wonder if it had changed and how different it might be.
Suddenly Molly’s mood dampened. She bit down on her bottom lip and her eyes drooped. ‘If nothing else, moving here meant we met.’
‘Mol,’ I exclaimed, ‘I’m going back for a short while, a few weeks at most. I need to recharge my batteries. I think I need a change of scenery, and hopefully I’ll come back with a new lease of life.’
‘So, when are you going to tell Rose?’ asked Molly as though she was reading my thoughts.
I exhaled and took a deep breath. ‘I’m just trying to work that one out,’ I said, turning it over in my mind.
‘And when are you thinking of leaving?’
‘I’m going to look at flights today. I applied for a credit card and it came through yesterday. The quicker I go, the quicker I’m back.’
‘Alice Parker, I’ll be counting the days until you return.’ She threw open her arms and I fell into them, hugging my friend tight.
As much as I’d miss Molly, the thought of going back to England by myself caused a feeling like excited fireflies exploding in the pit of my stomach. Was this a chance to get my life back on track? I couldn’t wait to see Grandie and Grace, and of course Honeysuckle Farm. The only pang in my heart was that Mum wouldn’t be going with me.
Chapter 2
Twenty-four hours later the warmth of the early evening air had enticed out most of the city dwellers and Molly and I were sitting on the comfy seats of the rooftop jazz bar overlooking the neon signs and giant billboards that illuminated the city. The clear, azure sky was the perfect backdrop for the skyscrapers that glistened in the evening light. I loved this bar, it was all gypsy swing, stunningly crafted cocktails and just a stone’s throw from the radio station where Molly worked. The ambience was perfect, with a low-lit interior, wall plants and fairy lights that draped the bar. The rooftop was small and intimate with a band playing on the little stage in the corner.
Molly had talked me into coming out. It was her treat, she said but as her boyfriend Jay was the bar manager of this drinking establishment, we rarely ever paid for our drinks. Jay had reserved our favourite table and the moment he spotted us he beamed, then saluted us.
Within seconds he appeared at our side with two prosecco cocktails balancing on a round silver tray.
‘Now that’s what you call service.’ Molly gave Jay a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek. ‘Can we open a tab?’
He winked, ‘Not on my watch, you provide the smiles and I’ll provide the drinks,’ he replied with a sparkle in his eye before pressing a swift kiss to my cheek.
‘Deal,’ both Molly and I said in unison, then laughed.
Molly had met Jay at this very bar nearly five years ago and they’d been the perfect couple ever since. He too was a proper New Yorker, born and bred, and his smile would be one I would miss when I returned to England.
‘Busy day?’ he asked, placing the cocktails on the table in front of us.
‘Yes, the radio show was fun tonight and missy here,’ she smiled towards me, ‘worked her last shift as a cleaner and has begun packing her case.’
‘Huh?’ asked Jay, puzzled.
‘I knew you weren’t listening to me when I was telling you!’ Molly jabbed him in the ribs in jest.
‘Telling me what?! I’m always listening,’ he tipped her a wink, ‘but maybe not at 3 a.m. when I’ve just finished my shift and all I want to do is sleep.’
‘Mmm, you’re forgiven,’ she answered playfully.
Jay turned towards me, ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m taking a trip … back to England,’ I answered.
‘I wasn’t expecting that,’ he said, cocking an eyebrow and sitting down on the arm of the chair. ‘Any reason why?’
‘My grandfather is ill, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen him. It may be the last time I ever see him,’ I said, giving Jay a watery smile.
‘Will you come back?’
‘Of course, I’m just unsure when at the minute, but I won’t stay away too long,’ I promised.
‘I will miss you, my Mary Poppins.’
I smiled at Jay. The moment I’d first walked into the bar with Molly, Jay had guessed I was English. Over time I’d obviously picked up an American twang to my voice but there was still a hint of an English accent underneath. He’d called me Mary Poppins – a nickname that had stuck.
‘You too, Jay.’
‘When do you go?’
‘Day after tomorrow.’
Jay fell silent and took a second to absorb this information. ‘So soon.’ He looked towards Molly whose eyes had misted over. ‘Drinks definitely on me tonight.’ He touched my arm tentatively before returning to the bar.
For a moment, Molly and I stared out into the impressive night sky in silence, sipping our cocktails and lost in our own thoughts until she broke the silence.
‘Who am I going to drink with when you’re gone?’
‘You make it sound like you have no other friends! You have a whole gang at the station.’ I smiled at her.
‘It’s not the same though, is it?’ She poked out her bottom lip sulkily. ‘You’re my best friend.’
‘I’ll be on the other end of an iPad, we can FaceTime each other and I’ll be back before you know it.’ The words left my mouth, but they didn’t sound convincing, not even to myself.
Molly pointed her index finger at me. ‘You’d better be, or I’ll come and find you.’
Even though we’d both laughed it felt like there was an air of uncertainty hanging over me. Did I really want to come back to this life? I couldn’t see how my misery would change here, with the same old same old, day in and day out.
The band in the corner were now in full swing and a jovial group of thirsty drinkers had arrived, enjoying the beginnings of a night at the bar. Jay was busy entertaining them and preparing their drinks.
Molly eyed me carefully, the straw of her cocktail poised at her lips. ‘Do you want to talk about this afternoon?’ she asked. ‘I was surprised when I received the text.’
I swung my gaze back towards Molly, swallowed hard and felt the colour drain from my cheeks. I knew it was the question she’d wanted to ask all evening.
‘I would have gone with you, you know,’ she continued smoothly, ‘you didn’t have to face it on your own.’
That afternoon, I’d never been so nervous in my whole life. Auditioning for a lead role in a production was one thing – the nerves always kicked in – but that didn’t even come close to how I’d felt visiting Mum and telling her I was travelling back to England. My hands were sweating, I’d felt nauseous and I honestly thought I was going to pass out.
‘I know, thanks. But once I’d got it into my head that I was going, there was no stopping me. I had to get it over and done with.’
‘And dare I ask?’ Molly sat back to look at me carefully.
Mum had opened the door with a beam on her face, then right on cue, made her usual comments, like how she wasn’t expecting me and to excuse the state of the flat. Of course, the flat was immaculate with not a thing out of place. Then, just like every other time when I’d turned up out of the blue, we had the usual spiel – if she’d known I was coming she would have fetched some groceries, etc., etc. I knew she was struggling to stay afloat as much as I was, and I’d often thought about moving back in with her but when I started college I’d become independent. I wanted to do things my way, I’d needed to grow as a person and going back to live with her would have been tiresome for both of us in such a small space.
I drained my glass. ‘The subject of Grandie was difficult to raise, believe me. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. In the end, I just showed her the message from Grace on my phone.’
‘And?’
‘And she stared at it for a minute but didn’t say a word. She carried on folding the washing like she hadn’t even read it.’
A curious look appeared on Molly’s face. ‘Then what?’
‘I told her I was going back to England. All she said was, “You do what you need to do.” I could see it troubled her, the colour drained from her face and there were tears in her eyes, but she just stared at her hands which were visibly shaking. It upset me to see her that way.’
‘Does she know when you’re leaving?’
I nodded, ‘Yes, I told her. She stood up and disappeared into her bedroom for a while and I could hear banging about. Then she reappeared clutching a small blue book.’
‘What was it?’
‘A bank book …’ I took a breath. ‘She told me that ever since I was a little girl, Grandie had been putting money into a savings account for me. She’d no idea if he still did it, as the book couldn’t be updated, but once I’m back in England I can check at the bank and withdraw the money.’
‘How much is in it?’ Molly enquired with a questioning look.
‘Five thousand pounds, but that was the amount thirteen years ago.’
I’d been astounded when I’d opened up the book. I’d no idea that Grandie had been saving for me. Mum claimed she hadn’t mentioned it before because, after her falling-out with Grandie, she hadn’t wanted to take anything from him. She was uncertain how to withdraw the money with only the old-fashioned bank book, but now I was returning it should be easy to sort out. The money was mine and all I would need was my birth certificate and driving licence to prove my identity.
Molly gave a low whistle, ‘That’s an unexpected surprise.’
I nodded. ‘To be honest, it couldn’t have come at a better time. And it means I don’t have to put my flight on a credit card. You know how those things frighten me, and the interest soon mounts up.’
‘Yes,’ Molly agreed, ‘but with this money you can pay it off as soon as possible and have enough left for your flight home.’
‘Absolutely,’ I smiled at her. ‘I even asked Mum to come with me, but she just shook her head.’
‘Did you attempt to change her mind?’
‘Of course, I tried, but she just wouldn’t discuss it. She told me to leave it, repeated that I had to do what I had to do, then stood up and started folding the washing again in a kind of trance. It was like I’d never said anything in the first place.’
After telling Mum it had felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I was worried about her. She looked fraught, her shoulders were slumped and now it seemed like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. I knew I couldn’t push the conversation any more but one day I was determined to uncover the secret that had driven us from England.
‘It must have been one hell of a disagreement,’ Molly probed.
‘It was, and there’s only two people who know the truth, and that’s Mum and Grandie. Mum isn’t talking – she never has – but I can see she is hurting. She must miss him too.’
‘It’ll be pride.’
‘Stubborn pride. How can you let things slide so badly?’
‘I’m not sure, but there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life, there’s nothing as funny as folk or family disagreements.’
I knew the argument I’d witnessed had been heated and had split the family up but the whole situation still puzzled me. We’d had a good life at the farm, everything had been peaceful and calm and we’d both had a relationship to treasure with Grandie, up until that day.
In New York, Mum had done a variety of jobs, just like me. Mostly jobs she detested, with unsociable hours, but she made enough money to put food on the table. On the surface, she put on a front for everyone, but underneath I knew she was sad and had lost the zest for life she once had in England.
There she’d been a respected dance teacher, working in the family business. Each year she’d choreographed the village show and the local children and elderly had flocked to her lessons, enjoying every second of them. She must miss her life back in England. If only I could turn back time to the day before the argument, both our lives might have panned out differently.
I managed a weak nod. ‘What if he dies Mol, and she hasn’t put things right?’ A tear slipped down my cheek just thinking about it. ‘Surely she wouldn’t be able to live with herself?’
Molly jumped up from the chair and immediately wrapped her arms around me with a hug. ‘You can’t beat yourself up over that, that’s her decision. You’ve asked her to go back with you and she’s said no. What more can you do? It’s her choice. You’re doing the right thing, doing what you need to do. That’s all that matters,’ she reassured me, but it still didn’t stop me from feeling anxious leaving Mum behind. I wanted her to come with me.
‘I’m going to miss you, Molly.’
‘Don’t go all soppy on me, you’ll have me crying,’ she insisted, trying to keep her voice steady.
‘Hey you two, no time for tears in my bar.’
Our eyes slid towards Jay who’d appeared at the side of our table. ‘And your glasses appear to be empty,’ he grinned, slipping another two flutes of fizzy prosecco cocktail down in front of us and picking up the empty ones before balancing them on his tray.
‘You know what Jay, you are the best barman in the city,’ Molly tipped him a wink.
‘Thanks Jay, you’re a superstar,’ I added with a watery smile.
‘Do get I a hug, Ms Poppins, before you go?’
‘You certainly do,’ I replied, standing up without any hesitation.
Jay hugged me tight. ‘Hurry back soon, it’s not only Molly who will miss you.’
‘Make sure you look after her while I’m away.’
I tipped my head towards Molly who blinked away her tears.
‘Without a doubt,’ he answered, flinging his arms open wider. ‘Come on, group hug. And when you get back, I’ll take my two favourite ladies out for a night on the town.’
‘That’s worth coming back for,’ I smiled at them both, trying to put on a brave face through my tears but knowing it was unlikely I’d be back any day soon.
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