Extra Time

‘I could do without this,’ Ryan muttered, sitting back in his seat, pushing it backwards until it rested on its rear legs, kicking the table leg in front of him like some petulant, bored child.

‘Jesus, you’re not still moping over Amber, are you?’ Gary sighed, sitting down beside Ryan, handing him a pint of lager. ‘Get over it, mate. It’s been months now. And I thought, after everything you’ve been through recently…’ He stopped talking as Ryan threw him a look, and Gary turned away, taking a quick sip of his lager. ‘I thought you were over it, that’s all. You can’t have her anymore. She’s married to the boss. Deal with it.’

Ryan said nothing, just swung back on his chair again, resting his hands on his toned and taut stomach as he watched everything going on around him on the dimly lit, fairy-light-strewed terrace of the restaurant Jim had told them all to meet up in. Colin Bailey – Red Star’s head coach and assistant manager – had made sure all the guys in the squad had got there on time, but there was still no sign of Amber or Jim. Ryan could only guess at what they were doing that was making them so late. And it hurt.

‘It’s got nothing to do with Amber.’

‘Oh really?’ Gary asked, raising a cynical eyebrow. ‘You sure about that?’

‘Ellen’s here.’

‘Eh? What do you mean, Ellen’s here? Ellen’s where?’

‘For fuck’s sake… she’s here, in frigging Tenerife. What do you think I mean?’

‘Okay, okay. Chill out, will you? When did that happen? I thought partners weren’t allowed on this trip? Otherwise I’d doubtless have had Debbie hanging off me arm 24/7, which I can well do without. I can have me pick of women here, but not if the wife’s around.’

Ryan looked at Gary. ‘You finished? Partners aren’t supposed to be here, but Ellen’s taken it upon herself to have what she’s calling a “girly weekend” with her mates – here, in Tenerife. She’s staying at a hotel in Torviscas, wants to know if I can meet her tomorrow. I’ve told her it’s match day, that it’s not a good idea, but then she puts that voice on, you know? That little-girl-lost voice, like I’ve physically wounded her or something… What am I supposed to do, Gaz? Ignore her?’

Gary just shrugged.

‘You’re no fucking help, do you know that?’

‘Well, what do you want me to say? You can’t really ignore her, can you? Not after she’s come all this way. But it might be a good idea to make sure the boss doesn’t find out. The last thing you need is him on your back.’

‘She should’ve asked me first, Gary. I mean, we have fun, don’t get me wrong, and she’s a frigging stunner but… this was supposed to be a break, a chance for me to kick back and let loose for a bit.’

‘She’s spoilt your fun, huh?’ Gary grinned. Ryan didn’t return it. In fact, he didn’t say anything. He just watched as more figures stepped up onto the terrace, and all of a sudden he felt his heart start to beat harder. In anticipation? Of what? Of Amber walking in, taking one look at him and realising that she’d chosen the wrong man? That he was the one she should have stayed with? Yeah, because she’d been acting as though that was the way she’d been thinking ever since this pre-season tour had started. She’d barely looked in his direction. What the hell was he doing? After what he’d done to her, the way he’d behaved…

He felt his stomach literally sink when he saw Ronnie White arrive, because he was alone. Still no Amber and Jim.

‘I’m going for some fresh air,’ Ryan sighed, standing up.

Gary looked at him. ‘Fresh air? We’re outside, Ryan.’

‘I need some space…’ He was stopped from going anywhere as more people arrived, and this time he saw her – Amber. His ex-fiancée and his boss had finally put in an appearance.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her. There was something different about her now; about the way she looked, the way she acted. She was slimmer, more beautiful, that ice-queen image she’d once given off now seemed nothing but a distant memory as she smiled at everyone who looked in her direction – everyone except him. Because, when his eyes finally locked with hers, that smile disappeared, just for a few seconds, until she turned away, back to look at her new husband, and then the smile returned. Ryan felt his heart ache as he watched her stand up on tiptoe to kiss Jim Allen. He watched as their lips met in a long kiss, one that was met with whoops and whistles from the rest of the squad as Jim’s arm snaked around her waist, his hand resting on her hip.

‘I really need that space now,’ Ryan muttered, standing up and almost kicking his chair back. ‘I won’t be long.’

‘Ryan…’ Gary started, but thought better of it. He knew that, sometimes, it was best just to let Ryan get on with things the way he saw fit. As long as you didn’t let him out of your sight for too long. He may have come through that latest round of rehab with no problems, but he was still quite volatile, still likely to do something he shouldn’t if pushed far enough. And Gary knew that better than anyone.

Quickly making his way out onto the beautifully-paved walkway that separated their restaurant from the beach in front of them, Ryan stopped only when he finally found the space he needed, walking over to the low wall that overlooked the beach, placing his hands palm-down on it and leaning forward, closing his eyes, breathing in deeply before exhaling loudly. He hadn’t thought it would be this hard. Was that incredibly naive of him? Since coming out of rehab, regaining his form as one of the greatest footballers of his generation, being given the captaincy at Newcastle Red Star and then taking them to that historic Premier League win, he’d felt fine about it all. He was back in the game, free of his demons – or so he’d thought. But maybe the summer break had given him some kind of false sense of security as far as thinking his feelings for Amber had changed. This pre-season trip was the first time he’d seen her since the end of last season. The first time he’d had a chance to properly face those feelings he’d had for her head-on. The first time he’d really faced up to the fact that she was actually married now, that she’d spent the summer break on a honeymoon that should have been the honeymoon he’d shared with her, not his boss. But he’d fucked that one up good and proper, hadn’t he? Thrown it all away in one night of utter stupidity that just thinking about it brought with it a stabbing pain of regret he couldn’t seem to shift.

Taking another deep breath, he exhaled again, opening his eyes and staring out ahead at the view of the beach, which was shrouded in darkness, almost eerie in its feel as the sound of the waves lapping slowly against the sand echoed in the distance.

Maybe Ellen turning up was the best thing that could have happened. With her around he’d have less chance to think about Amber. Less chance to think about what he’d lost. Instead he could focus on what he had now, and that didn’t just include his career being back on track. It also included a beautiful young woman he should be happy to have by his side.

Maybe it really was time for Ryan Fisher to start thinking about settling down. With Ellen? That wasn’t something he wanted to think about just yet. He just knew that over the past couple of months he’d finally started to become the man he really wanted to be, and he also knew that if he tried really hard he could deal with his feelings for Amber. He just had to be stronger, and he could do it. He could. He could do it. He had no other choice.

‘You look different,’ Ronnie said, leaning back against the bar. ‘I meant to tell you that earlier, over lunch. But you do. You look different.’

‘Different, how?’ Amber laughed, taking a small sip of cava.

‘Well – and don’t smack me for saying this, because I know what you’re like – but, for starters, you look like you’ve lost a bit of weight, which I’m assuming is down to all the sex you’re having.’ He grinned at her, sticking his hands in his pockets and throwing her a wink.

Amber couldn’t help smiling, looking at her best friend out the corner of her eye. ‘Yeah,’ she said dryly. ‘That’ll be it. Is that all?’

Ronnie watched as the large group of footballers that had taken over the greater part of the restaurant for the night laughed and joked with each other in a less than subtle manner, shouting loudly before being told to keep it down by Colin, whose booming Glaswegian voice was far louder on its own than the whole squad’s put together. ‘You just seem, different.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t know… more confident… no, that’s not true, because you’ve always been confident. It just seems as though you marrying Jim – it seems as though marrying him has changed you, somehow.’

She looked straight at him, narrowing her eyes. ‘In a good way? Or are you about to accuse my new husband of changing my entire personality?’

‘No, Amber, that’s not what I’m saying…’ Ronnie pushed a hand through his hair, wishing he hadn’t started this conversation now. She did seem different to the last time he’d seen her, which had been at his wedding only a matter of weeks ago, but he just couldn’t seem to explain what he meant by that. Yes, she had lost weight, or maybe she’d just toned up a bit more. Not that she’d been big in the first place, but the change in that respect was quite noticeable. Her hair was the same – she’d decided to keep that dark red colour which suited her so well – long and layered, falling in loose waves down her back. But there was something about her that felt like the Amber he’d once known – well, she wasn’t quite there anymore.

‘What are you trying to say, then?’ Amber asked, taking another sip of cava, her eyes not leaving his.

Ronnie watched as she sipped her drink, her nude-coloured lips leaving a small mark on the side of her glass. She really was an exceptionally beautiful woman, and maybe that’s what he was trying to say. Maybe that’s what had changed about her – she’d always been beautiful, yes, but somehow, after all the events of the last few months, despite all the crap that had happened, throughout all of that she’d only grown even more stunning. So much so that he had to look away for a second. Was this what marriage had done to her? Had Jim Allen managed to finally bring something out in her that made her realise just how beautiful she really was? Because Ronnie had never been altogether sure that Amber had ever known that.

‘Ronnie?’ Amber asked, touching his arm gently. ‘You all right?’

He slowly turned back round to face her, pushing a hand though his hair again. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just sat out in the sun a bit too long this afternoon.’

She reached out and stroked his cheek with her fingertips, smiling at him. ‘You feel a bit hot, actually. You need to pace yourself, mister. Don’t want you flaking out on me, you’re supposed to be helping me through my first proper work assignment. Not sure how it’s going so far and I’m bricking it here, wondering if I’m doing okay.’

Ronnie laughed as a glimmer of the old Amber reappeared. He gently placed his hand over hers, bringing it to his lips and kissing it quickly. ‘You’re doing great, kiddo. You’re gonna be one hell of a hit, I know you are. We’ll have men tuning in just to watch you, and fuck the football.’

She laughed, too, pulling her hand away from his and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, looking down into her drink. ‘Yeah, well, I’d quite like to be taken seriously, Ronnie. I don’t just want to be seen as some sort of bimbo-style presenter, only there to get the viewers in. I want to be good at what I do.’

‘You are good at what you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have got this job, I promise you that. I know the way they work over there at Cloud Sports. They don’t just employ anyone.’

‘They employed you, didn’t they?’ She smirked, taking another sip of cava.

‘Yeah. You’re funny. You adding comedian to your list of talents now, are you?’

She stuck her tongue out at him and he pulled a face, making her laugh out loud.

‘Anyway,’ Ronnie continued, ‘… the fact you’re beautiful is a bonus, of course it is…’

She looked at him, right at him, her eyes boring deep into his, and Ronnie had to swallow hard before he spoke again.

‘It’s a bonus, Amber. That’s all. But you’ve got to start realising just how beautiful you really are, kiddo. You have to start realising that, because you are. You really are beautiful.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I say so.’

Amber smiled, planting a light kiss on his cheek. ‘Get the drinks in, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.’

Jim stood at the back of the restaurant and watched, his hands in his pockets, his expression stoic. He watched as Ronnie White smiled at his wife; his wife. He watched as he said something then turned away from her, watched as he looked at her again, watched as she reached out and stroked his cheek before Ronnie took her hand and kissed it, and all the while Jim felt a pull in the pit of his stomach that he knew he’d have to get under control. She was with him now. She was finally his; she’d married him, for God’s sake! How much more connected to him could she be? And Ronnie White was no threat. Those two had been friends for over a decade now, they were bound to be close. Okay, so they’d once been a couple, but that had been years ago. They were friends. That was all.

Looking down at the ground for a second, he quickly composed himself before taking another look across at the bar, but Amber had gone, and Ronnie was now talking to one of the Red Star players. Jim looked around the restaurant, trying to find Amber, but he couldn’t see her anywhere. He made a mental note not to let her out of his sight again for the rest of the evening. Looking the way she did right now, with that crazy red hair and those long, tanned legs of hers in that short yellow dress she was wearing, she was bound to attract attention, and he wasn’t altogether sure how he felt about that.

He turned around as Ryan walked past, his head down, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans.

‘You all right?’ Jim asked, fixing his young striker with a look that told him he expected an answer, and not just the usual grunt or shrug that was sometimes thrown his way whenever he spoke to Ryan Fisher. Yes, he understood that things were complicated, given the kid’s past relationship with Amber, but he was still his boss, and that demanded a certain level of respect, no matter what.

Ryan stopped walking and turned to face Jim, although the manner in which he did so came across as slightly begrudging. ‘I’m fine. Why?’

‘You don’t look fine. You look distracted.’

‘Listen, boss, no disrespect or anything, but we’re not at work now, are we? We’re on a night out…’

Jim moved a step nearer, his face close to Ryan’s as he spoke. ‘Whilst we are here, Ryan, on this island, on this pre-season tour, we’re constantly at work. You got that?’

Ryan just stared at his boss, laughing quietly before walking away, saying nothing. Jim threw his head back and sighed heavily. Shit! That had actually been really unnecessary. Ryan hadn’t been doing anything, he wasn’t causing any trouble, and there’d been no word of his past antics coming back to the forefront during the summer break, when he’d had plenty of chances to relapse. Since his stint in rehab he’d turned into the kind of player every big club in the country dreamed of signing, which is why Jim had given him the captaincy, given him that incentive to stay on track, because, despite everything, he believed in Ryan Fisher. He was one of the game’s brightest stars, a true talent, and nobody wanted to see that go to waste. So why was he starting on him now, for no good reason? What good would that do? Jesus, he had to find Amber.

‘You seen my wife?’ Jim asked Gary as he passed him on his way to the bar.

Gary looked at his manager. ‘Amber? Yeah. She’s out there.’ He indicated the walkway outside. ‘Everything okay, boss?’

‘Everything’s fine, Gary, thank you,’ Jim said, turning and making his way out of the restaurant.

Amber was sitting on the low wall opposite, just staring out ahead of her.

‘Amber?’ Jim waited until she turned her head to look at him, a small smile appearing on her beautiful face. ‘Everything all right, honey? What you doing out here?’

She turned to look out at the beach again, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore the only sound that could be heard, bar the hum of chatter and noise coming from the other restaurants and bars situated along this pretty walkway.

‘I just wanted some air, and yes, I know the restaurant is, to all intents and purposes, outside, but you know what I mean. It’s still a bit claustrophobic over there.’

Jim sat down beside her, reaching out to take her hand. ‘It’s all still taking a bit of getting used to, isn’t it?’

She looked at him, her smile growing wider this time, which in turn made him smile, too. She looked twice as beautiful when she smiled.

‘This time last year I was a single woman, and determined to stay that way. I had a job I loved, my own little house… Things were quite happily ticking along, and now look at me. I’m embarking on a whole new TV career with a major satellite channel, and I’m married to the Premier League’s most high-profile manager. How the hell did that happen, Jim?’

‘Do you regret it?’

She shook her head, suddenly realising that tears were now slowly running down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand, quite shocked and surprised to find them there in the first place. What was wrong with her these days? Over emotional had never been something she was known for – quite the opposite, in fact. But hadn’t that only been the case because she’d been holding back, keeping all those feelings under lock and key because she hadn’t wanted to feel them for anyone but Jim? Had it taken until he’d walked back into her life to make her feel human again?

‘No, Jesus! No. I don’t regret it, of course I don’t.’ She reached out to touch his face, and just that one tiny touch was enough to send her stomach on another dip-and-dive session, making her breathless almost. ‘You know how much I love you, Jim. I mean, I had my career, I had my house, I had a life – but I also had nothing, because I didn’t have you. And you were all I ever wanted, you know that. For all those years, you were all I ever wanted. And now I’ve finally got that future I’ve always dreamed of…’ She trailed off, staring out ahead of her again. ‘It’s just a lot to take in sometimes, that’s all. Everything’s happened so fast, and all of a sudden I’m feeling things I didn’t know I could feel, wanting things I never thought I wanted and…’ She left that sentence hanging in the air. Now wasn’t the time to start that conversation.

He reached out and gently touched the side of her face, her cheek resting in the palm of his hand as her eyes met his. ‘I love you so much, Amber Allen. And you have no idea how good it feels to finally be able to say that.’

She smiled, too, looking down for a second, breaking the stare. ‘I used to write that, a lot, when I was at school – Amber Allen. I used to write it over and over, scribbling it down on anything I could find, just to see how it looked.’ Her eyes met his again. ‘How I got through the Sixth Form I don’t know. You were such a bloody distraction.’ Her stomach did another jolt as she remembered how incredibly handsome he’d been back then, in his professional playing days. How young and striking he’d looked. Every girl in her class had fancied him, all of them wanting to be close to her because they knew her dad was best friends with Jim Allen. If only they’d known how close she’d been to their football fantasy. If only they’d known what he’d done to her back then – both physically and emotionally. If only they’d known. ‘And then…’ She stopped talking, looking away briefly. ‘I like it. Being Mrs. Allen, I mean.’ She looked at him again, and for a few seconds she forgot where she was as his mouth lowered down onto hers, kissing her in that beautiful, heart-stopping way that only he could. A slow kiss, a deep kiss, a kiss that sent shivers running right through her and caused those goose bumps to cover her skin, despite the humid night air. ‘Things feel different, Jim. And that scares me. It just… it just feels as if everything is suddenly hitting home – all the changes that have happened, all the things we’ve been through…’

Again, she let that sentence hang in the air, pulling away from him slightly. Jim frowned. What did she mean by that? Things felt different – how? ‘Amber… Do you… do you feel like we rushed into things, is that what you’re trying to say?’

She stood up, facing the beach with its dark, eerie feel, folding her arms against her. She didn’t think they’d rushed into things. How could you rush into something you’d wanted for almost your entire life? But things did feel different. She felt different. The things she wanted now, they were different. And she knew she’d have to talk to him but, not yet. Not here. Now wasn’t the time.

‘Amber? Honey?’

‘I love you, Jim.’ She turned to face him, smiling, and he felt a rush of relief wash over him. ‘And I know you love me, so that’s all that matters in the end. Isn’t it?’

He pulled her against him, his hand firmly in the small of her back, their foreheads touching as he leaned in towards her. ‘Yeah, it is, baby. That’s all that matters.’

Amber snuggled into him, enjoying the feeling of safety and comfort being in his arms brought. He was the love of her life, her world; he was everything she’d ever wanted and she loved him beyond any words. She loved him. As simple as that.

‘This is going to work this time, Jim. Isn’t it?’ she whispered, staring up into his eyes.

He smiled, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, nodding slowly before kissing her gently, not wanting to pull away, she tasted so good, felt so perfect in his arms. Why had he waited so long to come back to her? Why had he done that? But the thing was, he knew why. He knew exactly why. And he only hoped, with all of his heart, that when Amber found out, she’d understand.

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