I know you said there’s no hurry but I don’t think you realise how far in advance wedding venues get booked up. Rita from the WI has a daughter who works at the Lodge Hotel – they’ve had a cancellation for the second Saturday in May next year but we have to act quickly if we want that date.

I’m so looking forward to planning you a wonderful wedding, darling. I can’t wait.

Anyway, I must go. There’s a pile of ironing to be done and your dad’s calling for his coffee. We both know how grumpy he gets when he’s caffeine-deprived so I’d better get on.

Give our best to Luc.

Love,

Mum

SOPHIE

I thrust my phone to the bottom of my bag, wishing it were as easy to squash down my anxiety. Emails can be ignored, for a little while, at least. Emotional procrastination is more difficult and worse for your health. I can feel a stress headache pulsing at my temples but force a smile to my lips and make an effort to tune back into the conversation.

‘Wow. This chalet is freakin’ amazing. Can we go and see the basement spa now? Pretty please?’ Tash practically bounces on the spot, her childlike glee at odds with her immaculate and elaborate make-up.

‘Absolutely, but no stripping off.’ Holly catches my eye and grins. We both know there’s no containing Tash when she’s in one of her exuberant moods.

‘Spoil sport,’ Tash pouts.

‘Well, not until after midnight anyway.’ Holly concedes. ‘The other guests should be mostly drunk by then. But, given it’s Sophie’s engagement party, maybe you should check with her before you do anything, erm, too outrageous.

My engagement party.

The words cause another worm of anxiety to squirm in my stomach.

‘Please, like I’ve ever been able to stop Tash stripping off.’ I shrug. ‘But we’re celebrating Amelia’s engagement tonight too and I’m not sure she’d be happy about it.’

Amelia got engaged a while before me, but when planning the party Holly realised she hadn’t done anything for Amelia and was worried she’d take offence. Holly was probably right, but I actually don’t mind in the slightest. I’ve got no problem with sharing the party with Amelia and, if anyone else wants to take some of the limelight off me, they’re very welcome to it.

‘Who’s stripping off?’ Nate comes into the room with Scott and Luc.

‘Your girlfriend,’ Holly says.

Nate rolls his eyes but they twinkle with good humour and the gesture is accompanied by an amused quirk of the lips. ‘That’s my girl.’

‘You’re all looking very glamorous.’ Scott makes a show of looking us up and down. ‘Especially my lovely wife, of course. It’s nice to see you all in dresses for a change.’

‘I love you very much, my sexist dinosaur husband, but I would like to point out that party dresses aren’t exactly practical clothing in a ski resort.’ Holly pretends to huff. ‘Anyway, glamorous clothes also tend to be dry-clean only. In other words, they’re very baby-unfriendly.’

‘You know, I think you look gorgeous in anything.’ Scott smiles fondly at Holly, tucking a stray strand of auburn hair back into her up-do. ‘Now, who’d like a private tour before the party guests arrive? I think we’re all set up now.’

Luc slips behind me and plants a kiss on the top of my head. When he wraps his arms around me some of my tension ebbs away and I almost believe everything might be okay.

Almost.

‘Thanks so much for this. We really appreciate it.’ I follow Scott and Holly down the corridor.

‘No problem, Sophie, it‘s our engagement present to you,’ Scott smiles. ‘Holly and I wanted to do something special for you and Amelia. Plus we really want to show off how Chalet Amélie is coming along.’

‘It‘s gorgeous, Scott. I thought Chalet Repos was special, but this is something else.’

I mean it too. It hits just the right note between traditional Swiss chalet and modern home. I adore the mini library and snug on the mezzanine gallery looking down onto the double-height living room. The whole wall facing the valley is glass with an arching timber frame and we‘re looking straight out onto snow-capped mountain peaks. I love the double-sided fireplace facing out onto the dining area on one side and the huge u-shaped leather seating unit festooned with silky faux-fur throws on the other. The kitchen is all modern – sleek black units, granite worktops and shiny chrome fittings. Not to mention two large island units. I‘ve never had a kitchen big enough to house even one island unit.

‘I think I have kitchen-envy,’ I whisper to Holly. ‘Actually, scrub that, I have chalet envy.’

I love the cosy little flat I share with Luc above Bar des Amis, but I dream of living in a chalet like this. Maybe one day we‘ll be able to build our own little chalet further away from Verbier where land prices are cheaper. I enjoyed my time living and working at Chalet Repos, but definitely don‘t miss sharing the cramped dorm room with three other girls.

‘I know,’ Holly whispers back, looking over my shoulder to check Scott isn‘t listening. She needn‘t worry, the men are all engrossed checking out the fancy espresso machine and talking about controlling the under-floor heating with an iPhone app. ‘It seems such a shame to waste all this on paying guests, but Scott and Nate keep reminding me it‘s a business. We‘ve had to up our game a bit. People are starting to expect more from a luxury chalet rental.’

Scott catches the end of the conversation. ‘And they‘re getting more. Come on, I‘ll show you some of the chalet‘s special features. The guest suites aren‘t quite finished yet but the cinema room and games room are done.’

‘There‘s a cinema room?’ Luc raises his eyebrows.

‘Yes. It‘s expected now, for this class of chalet. We also have an indoor heated pool, indoor and outdoor Jacuzzis, a steam room and sauna, a spa treatment room, a gym with plasma TV, DVD and music system, a games room with pool table, a party area with disco ball and bar, oh and a wine cellar.’ Scott ticks the features off on his fingers.

‘I think I want to move in,’ Luc sighs. ‘Will you adopt us?’

His words, so carelessly spoken, make the worm of anxiety writhe and squirm inside me.

‘If you like,’ Holly grins. ‘I want to move in here, but Scott won‘t let me. He says paying guests won‘t appreciate a crying baby in situ and I suppose having our own space is best. Never mind, it‘s perfect for a party, and there are no guests booked in until Christmas.’

Holly breaks off to check her phone, forehead creased.

‘I‘m sure Maddie is fine, Holly. The babysitter will ring if there‘s a problem,’ I say for the umpteenth time this evening.

‘I know, I was checking the signal, in case there‘s no reception.’ She pulls a face. ‘It is the first time I‘ve left her for an entire evening and she‘s still so tiny. It‘s hard. Like I‘m missing a limb or something. Although, I‘ll admit it‘s nice to be wearing something other than pyjamas at seven p.m.’

We make our way down to the spa. Dark slate tiles and mood lighting create the ambience of a cave. An extremely luxurious cave with sleek S-curved loungers and coloured lights dancing on the turquoise pool‘s surface.

‘It has an aromatherapy shower and a cold plunge pool.’ Scott leads us along the side of the pool to the spa area and treatment room with massage table.

Voices upstairs interrupt our tour.

‘That‘s probably Amelia and Matt.’ Holly touches Scott‘s elbow and tugs him away from a discussion with Nate and Luc about how the aromatherapy shower works. ‘And the guests will start arriving soon. We should go up.’

We head back upstairs and when Amelia sees me I‘m greeted to a no-contact double air-kiss that‘s more like assault by perfume fumes than a friendly greeting. The whole air-kissing thing is so phoney. When we were both working at Chalet Repos and sharing a dorm room we never greeted each other with air-kisses. Getting engaged and then promoted has changed her – and not for the better.

I catch Tash rolling her eyes behind Amelia‘s back. Funny how Amelia doesn‘t try to air-kiss Tash. Now, that would be entertaining.

‘So, how are the wedding plans coming along, Sophie?’ Amelia asks once she‘s finished doing the double-kiss thing with Luc. Although I notice he didn‘t get the no-contact version – there was definite lip-brushing cheek action going on. Funny that. Hmm.

‘Um, well it‘s still early days,’ I avoid looking at Luc and try to suppress my rising panic.

‘Oh, you shouldn‘t leave it too late. I‘ve been planning since the day after Matt proposed.’

‘If not before,’ Tash mutters.

I suppress a giggle. ‘Really? Have you had a tour of Chalet Amélie yet? The spa looks amazing.’

‘Not yet.’ Amelia‘s fixed smile doesn‘t waver.

‘I bet you wish Holly had put you and Matt in charge of Chalet Amélie instead of Chalet Repos.’ Tash is also smiling, but the hint of snark is unmistakable.

‘Which chalet did Holly put you in charge of? Oh wait, she didn‘t. Sorry, I forgot.’ Amelia steers the conversation into treacherous waters.

Time to head for the lifeboats.

‘We‘re going to get a drink.’ I steer Tash away before she can open her mouth.

‘Ignore her,’ I whisper in Tash‘s ear. ‘You‘ve got a whole season to get through. Pace yourself.’

‘I might need more than one drink,’ Tash sighs.

While helping ourselves to champagne cocktails we bump into Emily.

‘Hi Sophie, how are the wedding plans coming along?’ She smiles brightly.

Arghh. Why does everyone assume I must have a one-track mind because I‘m engaged?

‘It‘s a bit … complicated,’ I hedge. It‘s going to be a long evening. ‘Have you and Jake moved in here yet?’

‘We‘re moving in at the weekend so we can be on site to oversee the rest of the work,’ Emily beams. ‘Oh hi, Tash, how are you?’

‘Great thanks,’ Tash mumbles. ‘I‘m going to find Nate.’

‘Sorry, Sophie, I‘ve got to head off too. I need to find Holly. I‘ll catch you later.’ Emily grimaces apologetically and follows Tash.

I make my way up to the snug on the gallery before anyone else can ask how the wedding plans are going. I‘m keen to see what books they‘ve put in the library area. Books have been my escape my whole life, from reading Sweet Valley High novels in the school library to hide from bullies to romance novels – a pleasure I refuse to feel guilty for. What’s so wrong with feel-good escapism? I don’t need depressing realism when I’m trying to relax.

After a happy ten minutes scanning the books I settle into an armchair with my drink, preparing to be thoroughly anti-social until Holly or Tash appear to drag me back into the fray.

It’s then that I spot him on a sofa below.

Him.

Thomas.

The ghost of ski seasons past. The cause of so much misery and pain.

Something twists painfully deep inside me and my stomach cramps. It‘s far worse than the anxiety worm this time; it’s bigger and more dangerous. It has fangs.

Fangs that have dripped poison into my relationship with Luc.

I press back into my chair, even though he‘s not looking up and I‘m well hidden.

Crap. Crap. Crap. What do I do?

I stay where I am, frozen, heart thudding until Holly, Tash and Lucy come up to find me. Part of me is glad of the friend armour now surrounding me but I‘m in too much of a state to hide anything from them. They know me too well.

‘It‘s your party, Sophie, you can‘t hide up here.’ Holly peers down at me, narrowing her eyes and frowning. ‘Hey, what‘s up?’

‘He‘s here. What‘s he doing here?’ I whisper. Something wet splashes on my lap. I look down to see my hands are trembling, spilling my drink onto my dress. Lucy takes the glass off me and Tash kneels down beside my chair, squeezing my hand.

‘Who are you talking about, Soph?’ Holly asks, forehead creased. ‘Who‘s here?’

‘Thomas,’ I whisper, trying to sink further down in my seat. I take my hand back from Tash and wrap my arms around my still-cramping stomach.

‘Oh.’ Holly‘s eyes widen.

‘What? That Thomas?’ Tash’s voice is much louder than I’d like.

‘Ssh, yes, that Thomas.’ I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and take a deep breath before opening them again. I think I might be sick.

‘Which Thomas?’ Lucy looks furtively around us and down to the packed room below the mezzanine.

‘He of the ‘fat girls try harder’ and ‘I don’t use condoms’ fame,’ Tash replies, eyes flinty.

Recognition dawns on Lucy’s face.

I wince and take a shaky breath.

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know why he’s here Soph. He certainly wasn’t invited.’ Holly’s eyes are wide, she looks stricken. ‘He must’ve come as someone’s guest. I’ll get Scott to ask him to leave.’

‘No.’ I reach for her wrist before she can leave. ‘Luc might guess. He’ll see I’m upset and could put two and two together. I never gave Luc the name of the guy responsible, you see. Things are a bit … difficult at the moment. I’m worried he might decide to teach Thomas a lesson, you know, to defend my honour.’

Holly chews her bottom lip, hesitating. ‘I suppose, but it’s your party, Soph. I want you to have a nice time. I hate that you’re going through this because of that jerk.’

Anger flares in her eyes. By ‘this’ I know she means more than his presence tonight. She, more than anyone, knows the grief Thomas has caused and continues to cause.

‘Was he the one who used to place bets with his friends about who could pull and shag the ugliest girl?’ Lucy asks, face contorted with disgust.

‘Yes,’ I reply shortly, face burning.

‘Oh, Soph, I’m sorry, you can’t possibly think I meant you …’ Lucy adds, colouring when she sees my face.

But no matter how many times my friends tell me that can’t have been what Thomas was doing the night I went home with him, I’ve never totally shaken the suspicion.

Tash and Lucy have described Thomas’ charming personality perfectly. As well as his aversion to using protection he also has no scruples regarding forcing a girl to do what he wants in such a way that he only just falls short of date rape.

Barely.

The whole ‚fat girls try harder‘ – a comment I overheard Thomas make when he talked about our night together with his friends, haunted me for a long time. The bloody annoying part of it was that when it happened I was a healthy weight for my height for the first time in years of struggling with diets. Compared to the Verbier skinny-blonde clones I‘m on the plump side, but Luc says he loves my curves. I think he really means it too. He always seems very, ahem, appreciative. Anyway I‘m not technically overweight, not according to the charts I‘ve found on the internet.

Crap, Thomas is doing it to me again. Screwing with my head. It‘s bad enough his actions had consequences Luc and I have to live with for the rest of our lives but now I‘m supposed to sit here watching him drink and chat up some other poor girl?

I can‘t do it.

‘Could we go down to the cinema room?’ I plead. ‘I don‘t want a fuss. Trust me, Luc might lose it.’

‘I‘m not sure I‘ve ever seen Luc angry.’ Tash stands up.

‘He rarely gets angry but anything that threatens me or Max stirs up his inner caveman.’ I get up from my chair. ‘Please, let‘s go somewhere else. I don‘t want to waste another minute tonight thinking or talking about Thomas.’

I refuse to hand Thomas that power. It‘s bad enough that I have to be constantly reminded of what he‘s done, of the choices he‘s taken away from me.

His poison has seeped into our relationship and we can‘t find the antidote, no matter how hard we try. Heat flushes up my neck and burns my cheeks. My hands ball into fists at my side. Never mind worrying about Luc hurting Thomas, I need to get far away before I take one of the marshmallow toasting forks and go for Thomas myself.

Chapter 3

From: eva.johnson@gmail.com

To: beth.chapman@yahoo.com

Subject: Okay?

Hello Beth,

How are you getting on? I’d love to hear all your news. Have you learnt to ski yet?

I know we disagreed about the wisdom of you taking this job in Verbier, but please know I’m here for you, whatever choices you make. Our spare room is yours whenever you need it. I was worried it might be too soon, but I hope you’ll prove me wrong. I only worry because I care, Beth. I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re like a second daughter to me.

If things do get difficult, remember you’re stronger than you think you are. You’re a remarkable young woman and I’m proud of how far you’ve come.

Lots of love,

Eva

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