20 MINUTES TO MASTER … STRESS MANAGEMENT

IN THE SAME SERIES

20 Minutes to Master Buddhism

20 Minutes to Master Meditation

20 Minutes to Master Your Psychic Potential

20 Minutes to Master Wicca

BY THE SAME AUTHOR

Energize Yourself!

Principles of Hypnotherapy

For my friends Georges and Lyn

ABOUT THIS BOOK

This ebook will show you how you can master stress management – in just 20 minutes.

The book is split into two parts. The first part, Principles of Stress Management, is an original, previously published work from an expert in the field. It’s a comprehensive and insightful introduction to the subject, explaining the ideas and techniques that will allow you to develop a true understanding and practise it every day.

The second part is 20 Minutes to Master Stress Management, which you’ll find towards the end. This is your stress management cheat-sheet – a short and lucid look at all the ideas and techniques covered in the first section, which will only take you 20 minutes to read. It’s a powerful and invaluable resource that you’ll return to again and again.

If you want to truly master stress management – in both the short term and the long term – look no further. The answers are here.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

In the Same Series

Dedication

About this Book

PRINCIPLES OF STRESS MANAGEMENT

Introduction

PART I: STRESS – HOW IT HAPPENS

1 What Stress Is and What It Is Not

2 Are You a Stress-prone Type?

3 Questionnaire: Check Your Personality Stress Factors

4 What Is Causing You Stress?

PART II: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL INTO THE STRESS TRAP …

5 Physical Reactions

6 Mental and Emotional Reactions

7 Behavioural Reactions

8 Questionnaire: What Is Your Stress Level?

PART III: … AND HOW TO CLIMB OUT OF THE STRESS TRAP

9 How to Stop Yourself from Overworking

10 So You Thought You Knew How to Breathe …

11 Giving Your Body Time Off

12 Taking a Mental Holiday

13 Sleeping Better

14 Dealing with Difficult People

15 Using Anger Constructively

16 How to Talk about Things You Would Rather Avoid

17 Accentuate the Positive

18 De-stress Your Life

19 Alternative Ways to Unwind

Summary

20 MINUTES TO MASTER STRESS MANAGEMENT

Introduction

PART I: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL INTO THE STRESS TRAP …

1 Physical Reactions

2 Mental and Emotional Reactions

3 Behavioural Reactions

PART II: … AND HOW TO CLIMB OUT OF THE STRESS TRAP

4 How to Stop Yourself from Overworking

5 So You Thought You Knew How to Breathe …

6 Giving Your Body Time Off

7 Taking a Mental Holiday

8 Sleeping Better

9 Dealing with Difficult People

10 Using Anger Constructively

11 How to Talk about Things You Would Rather Avoid

12 Accentuate the Positive

13 De-stress Your Life

14 Alternative Ways to Unwind

Copyright

About the Publisher

INTRODUCTION

Anyone who has ever had to struggle through a prolonged period of work overload, be it at home or out in the workplace, will know what it feels like to be physically exhausted and mentally overwrought. Whereas you are perfectly capable of dealing competently with life’s ups and downs when you are unstressed, any hiccups in the daily routine become an emotional crisis once the pressure exceeds a certain threshold.

It is an unpleasant experience to feel out of control and unable to stop yourself from overreacting. You watch yourself shouting at the kids or soldiering on at work even though you are too tired to think straight, seemingly unable to stop yourself.

Stress and all its unpleasant side-effects can arise from a great many different factors; work overload is just one of them. Other life events which can put you under pressure are changes in your circumstances, for example if a family member gets seriously ill or if you unexpectedly suffer financial difficulties. As a rule of thumb you could say that any event that significantly changes your daily routine is a potential trigger for stress. I say ‘potential’ because a lot will depend on your general attitude to change. Stress is not just generated by circumstances; your attitude towards the circumstances will have a significant impact on how you cope.

This book looks at a variety of potential stress-triggers. You may be surprised to learn that even events which we would generally label ‘positive’, such as a promotion or a holiday, can create stress! You will also learn how to deal with difficult situations in a more constructive way, on not just a practical but also an emotional level. You may not be able to cut out all challenges from your life – nor may you want to – but you can certainly do a lot to eliminate unnecessary stresses. You have a lot more power inside you than you might think; Principles of Stress Management shows you how to access this power and how to make use of it. In addition, this book provides you with questionnaires for self-assessment and mental exercises which will help you take control of your life, as well as useful information and tips on foods, physical exercise and supplements which can strengthen your resilience to stress. Why be harassed if you can be composed? Why fight if you can play? You may not be able to see a way out of your situation, but it is there before you.

As you read through this book you will quickly find the chapters that are relevant to your particular circumstances, as well as the solutions that suit you best. You will find that you can rid yourself of unnecessary stress and heighten your general sense of well-being at the same time, so that you feel more energetic, more in control, better about yourself and better within yourself. Why not put some of the suggestions in this book into practice? You have nothing to lose but stress!

PART I

STRESS – HOW IT HAPPENS

In this first section we will look in detail at what constitutes ‘stress’, as we commonly call the experience of negative pressure. As your personality plays a part in how you deal with stress, this section includes descriptions of various personality types (their strengths and weaknesses, etc.), followed by a questionnaire which will allow you to assess which type you come closest to. Learning about yourself allows you not only to take better care of yourself but also to make positive changes more easily. The better you understand what makes you tick, the greater the control you have over changing your life for the better.

In Chapter 4 we will examine the most common external stressors that may play a part in the build-up to stress, both in work and private life. Depending on your personal beliefs and attitudes, you will deal with these outside stressors more or less effectively. People respond to difficult situations according to their past experiences by using, either consciously or subconsciously, coping strategies which they have acquired over the years. How you cope with stress will also depend on how much external support you get while you are in the difficult situation. All these factors – personality, beliefs, past experiences and external support – work together to shape your physical and emotional reactions to stress, which ultimately determine how much you are affected by a difficulty and how well you deal with it.

CHAPTER 1

WHAT STRESS IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT

Generally speaking, stress can be caused by our need to adapt physically, mentally and emotionally to a change. This, of course, does not have to be a negative process. If you have finally achieved a promotion which you have worked towards over a long period of time, this is likely to be a very pleasant change which fills you with excitement and satisfaction. However, if you have been persuaded by your superiors to go for the promotion when you do not really feel ready for it, you can end up feeling very nervous and unconfident when this change takes place.

A small amount of stress is useful; it adds interest and motivation to life and keeps us on our toes. Changes that we perceive as moderate are not just harmless but also invigorating, as our adaptability needs to be trained regularly to stay in working order. As we practise going with the flow and dealing with changes, we become stronger. However, when the changes become too great or when they influence our lives negatively over a period of time, our capacity to adapt can become overstretched.

We all have a need to maintain physical and emotional equilibrium. It is when we are on an even keel that we feel comfortable and happy. Any change, especially an unpleasant one, threatens our equilibrium. In order to redress the balance we react with a stereotyped reaction which Hans Selye in his book The Stress of Life identified as the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). This syndrome springs into action as soon as a person perceives or experiences a stressor. First, the mind goes through the alarm stage where the body switches into overdrive. The muscles tense, adrenalin pumps through the system, blood pressure rises. During the second stage, the resistance stage, all the heightened physical and mental responses help create increased activity so that the challenge can be met, but there is only so much strength and endurance that a person can muster before they go to the third stage: exhaustion.

As you can imagine, if your capacity to adapt to change is in overdrive for too long, it can make you ill. If you have to cope day-in, day-out with a difficult and demanding boss who only criticizes but never praises, it will eventually wear you down. If you are looking after a bedridden relative all by yourself without getting any help or support, you can easily develop a physical or mental illness yourself. In extreme cases, prolonged exposure to stress can lead to physical and/or emotional breakdown.

By the time someone reaches the third stage it will be obvious that there is a problem. It is easier, however, to ignore the signs of the first two stages. Even though the term ‘alarm stage’ seems to indicate that you become consciously aware that a change is imminent, this is not necessarily so. At the alarm stage your body and mind get ready for action, but as this preparation happens unconsciously and therefore automatically, it can easily be overlooked. (In Part II of this book you will have an opportunity to check which physical, mental, emotional and behavioural signs you might experience while you are in the resistance stage, or even in the alarm stage.)

You will already have noticed that stress is not a clear-cut matter which can be defined in objective terms. You may find that the best way of describing stress is at a totally subjective level, as any change that makes you feel uncomfortable physically or emotionally. This definition allows for individual differences in attitude and perception towards stressors.

A subjective definition also makes clear that stress is not the same thing as a great workload, a lot of responsibility or having demands made on you. If these scenarios were automatically synonymous with stress, then nobody could be expected to experience them free of stress. However, there are people who have a lot to do and yet stay unstressed by it; there are people who carry great responsibility and who cope with it very well. Stress is only partly a result of the situation itself; it is also, to an extent, caused by our attitude towards that situation. This explains why different people react differently to stress. Look around you while you sit on a commuter train when it is stuck between stations. Some people are simply bored, others annoyed, still others anxious.

Physiologically, the same thing happens to all of us when stress sets in. As soon as we perceive a situation as potentially threatening, our primitive stress response of ‘fight or flight’ springs into action. Our breathing rate increases (thereby providing the brain and the muscles with more oxygen), the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, sugars and fats are released into the bloodstream for extra energy, muscles tense up, the flow of saliva decreases and perspiration increases. All our senses are on ‘red alert’, and adrenalin and cortisol are released which mobilize the body. These spontaneous physical reactions are very useful when your house is on fire because they enable you to run faster and get away from danger more quickly. However, when you have the same automatic reactions when you are only thinking about tomorrow’s meeting at work, you are in trouble. Whereas in the first instance all that extra physical energy and tension are put to good use, in the second example this excess energy has nowhere to go – as you sit there worrying about the next day’s meeting, your stress hormones go round and round in your system, keeping everything buzzing in overdrive. For some people this means an increase in gastric juice secretion, which can ultimately lead to ulcers if the stress response kicks in on a regular basis. Also, the prolonged presence of stress and heavy demands on our ability to adapt can exhaust the body and increase the risk of damaging the function of organs such as the heart or the kidneys.

If you feel that you are particularly prone to unnecessary stress reactions, the next two chapters should help you pinpoint the reasons for this.

SUMMARY

 Stress is evoked by our need to re-establish equilibrium when changes occur.

 Small amounts of stress are necessary and beneficial.

 The three stress stages are alarm, resistance and exhaustion.

 Certain personality types are more prone to stress than others.

 Prolonged stress can lead to illness or mental breakdown.

 The body reacts to stress by mobilizing physical responses to help us cope better with situations which we perceive as threatening.

 Even our thoughts can create a physical stress response.

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