Pastures New

The reward for her labours was one sodden bathroom, a tap to which she couldn’t fit a new washer and a feeling of absolute failure.

‘You should have got a plumber,’ observed Josh, with all the sensitivity of a five-year-old. He was right of course, which didn’t help. It was at times like this that Amy missed Jamie the most. There was only her to do the job, and she had made a hash of it. She hated feeling like a useless girl, and yet here she was acting like one. Even her five-year-old son knew it.

‘We’d better go and see Harry,’ she said to Josh with a rueful smile.

But Harry was out, and Amy was at a bit of a loss.

‘Maybe he’s on the allotments,’ Amy mused. ‘Shall we go and look for him, Josh?’

Josh agreed with alacrity, particularly when Amy said he could take his ball with him. They hadn’t had a chance to go out there properly yet, and it would be a good excuse to go and have a look at Caroline’s patch. Harry had told her that there was stuff growing on it, and that some of Caroline’s friends had been trying to keep it tidy, but it needed, in his words, ‘a good going over’. Amy had been resisting the siren call of the allotments ever since, as she had been too busy with essential stuff, but here was a reason to go.

As she stepped out onto the allotments, Amy gave a deep sigh of contentment. The sound of cattle lowing in the distance reminded her how far she was from the city. However alone and useless she felt, this had been a good decision. Josh immediately ran off, kicking his ball and whooping wildly. And the allotments were as wonderful as she remembered them; even more so at this turn of the seasons. The leaves were starting to go yellow now, and some were already falling from the trees. There was a distinct whiff of autumn in the air, several of the plots were already being dug over, and a sharp chill presaged the frosts to come.

Following Josh, Amy struggled down the path outside her garden gate, which was rather more overgrown than on her last visit, and gazed ahead of her. Harry had said Caroline’s plot was across the main path that ran through the allotments and slightly to the left, which made it roughly next to the one where she had seen the bike rider. Oh lord, she hoped he wouldn’t be out there. Remembering what had happened last time, she called Josh to come back to her. Much as she had disliked the man, it wouldn’t do to go round upsetting the neighbours so soon.

As she approached the plot, there was a strong smell of manure. The bike rider’s plot still had vegetables growing, but he was evidently getting ready to turn over the ground for the autumn. And ah, yes, the plot next door did look quite overgrown. It must be Caroline’s. Though in among the weeds Amy could see plenty of potatoes, and at the far end were a couple of fruit trees, so she might get something from this year’s crop.

She and Josh were just crossing the corner of the plot, when she heard a barking and something like a speeding bullet came flying towards her. That damned dog again. Josh screamed, and before she knew what was happening she was on her back in the pile of manure, with a black dog leaping all over her, licking her face.

Squinting up at the sun, in a mixture of fury and embarrassment, she saw the figure of a man.

‘Down, Meg! Bad dog!’ The man offered a hand towards her, saying, ‘I am so, so sorry. Are you all right?’

Amy stumbled to her feet and grabbed hold of Josh. She glared at the man standing before her.

‘I might have known it would be you,’ she said.

CHAPTER FOUR

‘I don’t suppose it would help if I told you that I don’t know what came over Meg. Really, she isn’t usually like that.’ Her biker looked suitably discomfited.

‘No?’ Amy tried to muster what dignity she could, excruciatingly aware that she was covered in manure and must smell terrible. ‘First your wretched dog frightens my son, and then she knocks me flying into a pile of manure. She should be locked up!’

Ben bristled. ‘Well, your son doesn’t seem too traumatised, does he?’

Amy turned to look behind her, to discover that Josh was playing happily with Meg, who was licking his fingers.

‘Pooh, Mummy, you stink,’ he said.

It was no good. Irritated as she was with this man and his damned dog, it was incredibly hard to stay on your high horse when an infant had just pointed out the obvious. Amy did indeed stink. And there was the slight matter of how she was going to clean herself up.

‘Oh God, he is so right,’ she said, unable to prevent the small grin that was forcing its way across her face.

There was an awkward pause for a moment, neither of them quite knowing what to say next, then Ben, feeling that he was being rather ungallant, asked, ‘Can I do anything to help?’

‘You could let her have a bath,’ Josh declared. ‘We’ve got no water. Mummy isn’t a very good plumber.’

‘Is that so?’ Ben was grinning now too, while Amy tried to shut Josh up. Honestly. Children could really be the limit sometimes.

‘Yes, well,’ said Amy squirming, ‘I had a small fight with the taps and the taps won. So now I’ve got no water.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Ben, trying and failing to suppress laughter.

‘It’s not funny,’ protested Amy, in a rather feeble manner. ‘I was coming out here to see if I could find my neighbour, Harry, and ask him if he knew a plumber.’

‘You won’t find Harry today,’ said Ben, ‘he’s gone to one of his army reunions. Oh lord, now you’ve made me feel really guilty. We’ve only just met and already I’ve nearly run over your son, my dog’s scared him and knocked you into my manure. Next time we meet, I’ll probably burn your house down. Please, please let me make amends. Come over to mine and use my bath. And then I’ll see if I can sort out your taps.’

Amy hesitated. This was a perfect stranger, after all. But if he was a friend of Harry’s it probably meant he wasn’t a serial killer.

‘It’s okay,’ said Ben. ‘You can trust me. I’m a doctor.’

‘Are you, really?’ Amy burst out laughing.

‘Really,’ said Ben with a smile. ‘I work at the Riverview Practice if you don’t believe me. The name’s Ben Martin.’

‘Okay, I believe you,’ said Amy. ‘I just signed up there yesterday, and I remember seeing your name. Luckily you don’t appear to be my doctor. Which is probably just as well, given our recent history.’

Ben was impressed with the way she seemed to be taking this all in her stride. Despite her enjoyment of gardening, Caroline always managed to keep immaculate while doing it. He hated to think how she would have reacted if she’d ended up in a pile of manure. Not as well as this attractive stranger, that was for sure.

‘It probably is,’ he replied, grinning. ‘And you are?’

‘Amy Nicolson,’ said Amy. ‘Come on, Josh, Ben’s going to find Mummy some clean clothes.’

Together, they followed Ben towards his house. Amy still felt an idiot but Ben’s manner was so easy and open that it didn’t seem to matter somehow. Perhaps her initial impression of a bad-tempered lout had been wrong.

‘Bathroom’s in there,’ said Ben when they entered the house. ‘Here, have a towel. I’ll get you some clean clothes. Will Josh be okay watching TV?’

Josh was more than okay watching TV, particularly once he discovered that Ben had Spiderman in his DVD collection.

Ten minutes later, Amy emerged from the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel, and wearing a rugby shirt of Ben’s and some leggings he’d found, which presumably must have belonged to a previous girlfriend. She wondered idly what sort of woman was his type. Obviously a tall one if the leggings were anything to go by.

Ben gave a sharp intake of breath. He was taken aback by the sudden pull of attraction he felt for Amy. It had been a long time since he had looked at a woman other than Caroline.

‘Tea?’ he asked quickly, moving to the kitchen and switching on the radio, where Jonathan Ross was entertaining a female singer well known for her risqué behaviour in a way only he knew how.

‘Oh, great, you like Radio 2 too,’ said Amy.

‘I listen to nothing else,’ declared Ben. ‘I’m sadly obsessed with that chap who does the allotment bit on the Jeremy Vine programme.’

‘What, Terry, the Adopted Allotmenteer?’ said Amy. ‘He’s brill, isn’t he? Last time I heard him he was talking about runner beans. I couldn’t believe he could make it so interesting.’

They paused and smiled shyly at one another.

‘I know,’ said Amy. ‘I used to think Radio 2 was really old hat, but thanks to my –’ Oh God, here I go again, she thought. Was there ever going to be an easy way to say ‘my dead partner’? Today she couldn’t face the questions, or the sympathy, so she fudged it instead. ‘– to Jamie – my boyfriend –’

Damn! thought Ben, she had a boyfriend. He was startled to find that bothered him.

‘– I started listening and discovered they play loads of music I like. So I listen all the time now. This is probably going to sound barking but I’m on my own such a lot, I find it’s like having a friend in the kitchen.’ She paused, feeling that she was rambling. ‘You probably have no idea what I’m even talking about.’

‘Oh, I think I do,’ said Ben, wondering why she was alone so much. He had heard the hesitation in her voice when she mentioned her boyfriend – maybe Jamie was off the scene. ‘Lots of my patients, especially the elderly ones, say the same thing. And my surgery has such tissue-thin walls I often have the radio on in the background so that people outside my room don’t hear what I’m saying. I find Radio 2 is usually inoffensive enough not to upset anyone too much.’ He paused. ‘So, what does Jamie do?’

Amy took a deep breath. The question had come after all. She should have just faced it dead on, rather than hedging her bets.

‘Jamie’s – oh, I didn’t explain myself very well. Jamie died two years ago. I’ve moved here on my own, with my son, Josh.’

Oh God. Ben had imagined a parting of the ways, but Amy seemed too young to have faced that kind of pain. But then, age didn’t always come into bereavement, as he knew himself, all too well. Cursing himself for putting his foot in it, Ben wondered what he could say, and finding nothing adequate, left it at a simple, ‘I’m so sorry, I just assumed.’

‘It’s okay, people generally do.’ Amy waved him away. Harry evidently hadn’t said anything to Ben about her, which pleased her somehow. She liked the fact that her neighbour hadn’t gossiped. ‘You weren’t to know, and anyway, nowadays I cope pretty well.’

Amy smiled as she said this, but there was a sadness in her eyes and her demeanour became closed and wary. Ben took this as a hint to change the subject.

‘Right, I don’t know about you, but I have a fair bit to do today, so shall we head straight over to yours?’

‘Thanks, that would be great,’ said Amy, grateful that he hadn’t pursued the subject of Jamie. ‘Come on, Josh, time we were off.’

‘Oh, but I wanted to see what happens next,’ Josh protested.

‘It’s all right, you can see it another time,’ said Amy, then paused. It seemed presumptuous to assume they would see Ben again.

‘Or I could lend it to you,’ said Ben quickly.

‘Well – if you’re sure …’ began Amy.

‘Positive,’ said Ben. ‘I’ve seen it loads of times. Come on then, this plumbing isn’t going to sort itself out.’

It just showed how first impressions could be so wrong. In fact, as they ambled companionably back across the allotments, Amy reflected that it was a long, long time since she had met anyone who had put her so much at her ease.

Ben followed Amy and Josh up the garden path with a growing feeling of awkwardness. It had seemed like a good idea to suggest he mended her taps, but now he was here he began to question the wisdom of his offer. The last time he had been in this house, a couple of nights before Caroline left, she’d ended up seducing him again, despite his best intentions. After a night of lust and tangled passion, Ben had woken up and wondered just what the hell he was doing. He’d told her then that it was over, and the memory of her tears made him wince. He couldn’t bear to hurt anyone, and they had been very close for a while. He still felt guilty that he had made her cry. Thankfully, no one else knew about it.

And now he was following another woman into Caroline’s house. A woman he found very attractive, he had to admit. But even Amy’s merits couldn’t quite eclipse the vision of Caroline that hit him the minute he walked through the door. She was in every room – cooking in the kitchen, laughing in the lounge, dancing in the dining room, and – where he could hardly bear to picture her – sensual in the bedroom. Amy had already made her mark on the house, it was true – she had changed around some of the furniture, and got rid of Caroline’s wind-chimes and aromatherapy candles – but the whisper of Caroline remained everywhere.

Trying to shake off the feeling of melancholy made Ben matter-of-fact, his manner brisk. It had been a big mistake coming back here. He just wanted to get the taps done and go.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘The bathroom’s through here, isn’t it?’

Amy was surprised. ‘You seem to know your way around pretty well,’ she said.

‘I’m often in and out of these houses, seeing patients,’ said Ben shortly. ‘All these houses have the same layout.’

Ben was aware his terseness sounded rude, but he couldn’t bring himself to mention how he knew this house, or how intimately.

Amy was slightly taken aback by the change in Ben’s manner. He had already found the offending taps and was starting work, but he seemed to have withdrawn into himself. She wondered whether she had upset him somehow, so decided to change the subject instead.

‘Have you had an allotment long?’ she asked. ‘I can’t wait to get out there and sort mine out.’

‘Are you a gardener as well?’ Ben was interested despite his resolve to get out of there as soon as possible. He had a soft spot for anyone who was prepared to discuss the merits of growing things. It wasn’t Amy’s fault she lived in his ex’s house.

‘I love gardening,’ Amy replied. ‘We always wanted to live in the country and grow our own vegetables. I’m dying to get onto the allotments. I just haven’t had time yet. And when I’m a bit more settled I’d like to go into gardening properly. Actually, I’ve just finished doing a course.’

‘Have you met Saffron yet?’ said Ben. ‘She runs her own gardening business, with Caroline, but with Caroline gone I think she might be after some help.’

‘Is she?’ said Amy, her eyes lighting up with interest. ‘I might just get in touch then. Thanks.’

‘Right, that’s all done for you,’ said Ben, wiping his hands on his jeans.

‘Thanks so much,’ said Amy. ‘That was really good of you. Would you like to stay for a cup of tea?’

‘No thanks,’ said Ben. ‘I’d better go. I’ve got lots to do on the allotment.’

‘And I wouldn’t dream of keeping a man away from his digging,’ said Amy, disappointed but trying to sound cheerful.

When she smiled, Ben noticed, her eyes lit up her whole face. There was something about her that he instantly warmed to, and he realised, as he strolled back home, that it was a very pleasant feeling indeed.

‘What’s this I hear that you run a gardening business?’

Amy greeted Saffron as they stood outside the school gates. Ellie was asleep in the buggy, and Saffron looked quite relaxed for a change.

Saffron pulled a face.

‘Well, I’m not entirely sure it merits the term business. “Disaster” might be more apt at the moment,’ she said. ‘How did you know?’

‘I met Ben Martin on the allotments the other day,’ said Amy. ‘Or rather, his dog knocked me into a pile of manure. I felt like such a prat. But he was very nice about it.’

‘So he should be,’ said Saffron. ‘That dog’s a liability sometimes. Mind you, I can think of worse people whose feet you could fall at. He’s gorgeous. If I wasn’t married already …’

‘Does he have a girlfriend?’ asked Amy.

‘Not that I know of,’ said Saffron, ‘but I’m not one to listen to gossip, and I’ve been so busy this year with work and a new baby that I don’t tend to know what’s going on anyway. Why do you ask? Are you on the lookout?’

‘As if! I was curious, that’s all,’ said Amy. ‘So come on, tell me all about this business of yours.’

‘Not much to tell, since Caroline left me in the lurch,’ said Saffron.

‘What’s Caroline like?’ Amy asked. ‘Her name keeps popping up everywhere.’

Saffron grimaced. ‘I’m probably not the best person to ask, as she’s made my life a nightmare. We met on a gardening course in Sudbury three years back, and when we found out we lived so near to one another it seemed like a good idea to set up a business together. And at first it was great – she’s good at self-promotion and got us loads of clients to begin with, plus she is really good at garden design. But out of the blue she decided she had to go travelling to find herself, just before Ellie was born, and left me to pick up the pieces.’

‘Bummer,’ said Amy. ‘What a pain.’

‘She can be,’ said Saffron. ‘I think her main problem is that her parents are loaded, so she’s really spoilt and has never had to take responsibility for anything in her entire life. Plus she has a rather irritating tendency to flutter her eyelashes and get men to do her dirty work for her – she was always getting the blokes on the allotment to do her digging and stuff. She’s a terrible flirt. She even tried it on with Pete once, when I was pregnant with Ellie. I was furious, I can tell you. But Pete just laughed it off, and said it was just the way she was.’

‘Ouch,’ said Amy.

‘Ouch indeed,’ said Saffron. ‘Anyway, enough of her. Why did you want to know about my gardening business?’

‘Well, I was just wondering if you had any openings? I’m itching to get my green fingers dirty.’

‘Are you serious?’

‘Absolutely,’ said Amy. ‘I’ve arranged with the school to do some supply teaching, but I need another income, and the idea was always to try and make money from gardening.’

‘I could really, really use the help,’ said Saffron. ‘I’m drowning on my own. Though I warn you, the finances are a bit dicey at the moment, so I can’t pay much.’

‘That’s okay,’ said Amy. ‘I’ve got a bit of a cushion to tide me over for the next few months.’

‘Great,’ said Saffron. ‘That’s such a weight off my mind.’

‘Then it’s a deal,’ said Amy, grinning. ‘When do I start?’

CHAPTER FIVE

Amy was cooking lunch for herself and Josh – or, rather, for Josh. She had a terrible habit of finishing up his leftovers, and eating on the run. She couldn’t remember the last time she had made a proper meal for herself. She really ought to bring herself in hand. The radio was on, and it being Saturday she was listening to Jonathan Ross, who always made her laugh. And today he was making her laugh more than ever. For the first time in months she was feeling positive and cheerful about the future.

After Saffron had discovered her interest in gardening, she had insisted on dragging Amy back home and showing her the latest plans for Green Fingers. Saffron had nearly cleared the backlog left by Caroline, but she still had clients who were urgently demanding their gardens be tidied up for the autumn, as well as several who were after table decorations for Christmas.

‘Mind you,’ Saffron admitted ruefully, ‘I am in something of a fix. Because although I have too much work at the moment, once I’ve caught up, I don’t have any new clients. I’ve lost a lot over the summer, and, to be honest, with the baby and everything I’ve been too exhausted to think about marketing.’

‘Have you got a website?’ Amy said.

‘God no,’ Saffron replied. ‘I’m way too computer illiterate for that.’

‘Actually, it’s quite easy,’ Amy told her. ‘It’s simply a question of buying a domain name and a package from a company that’s into website-building.’

‘Oh right,’ said Saffron, surprised. ‘How do you know all this stuff?’

‘You’d be amazed what you pick up teaching IT to seven-year-olds,’ Amy replied vaguely. It was actually Jamie who had taught her about computing, and when he and Giles had set up in business together she’d ended up getting involved in creating their website. Neither of them had been much good with design, but Amy loved playing about with typefaces and graphics and she had been happy to help.

‘Sounds great,’ said Saffron. ‘Got any other good ideas? Caroline was always great at that kind of stuff. I haven’t got a clue.’

‘Well, I could design you a leaflet if you like,’ said Amy. ‘And then you could do a drop with the local paper. Or leave them in shops – the local hairdressers would be a good place to start. You could offer a ten per cent discount on your first job or something. How does that sound?’

‘It sounds fantastic,’ said Saffron eagerly. ‘You are sent from heaven to solve all my problems. I would never have thought of that on my own.’

‘Aaah,’ said Amy. ‘I have been wanting to set up my own business for ages, so I’ve done a lot of planning over the years. And I’ve got a couple of weeks till my supply teaching starts, so I’ve got time at the moment.’

Before she knew it, Amy was also agreeing to go and price a job with Saffron the following Tuesday, once the kids were at school. It was just what she needed to move her life forward. She couldn’t wait to get started.

So, a little later, humming to the tune playing on the radio, she was cheerfully busying herself in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Puzzled, she went to answer it. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and although Harry had taken to popping in from time to time to borrow some milk or play a game with Josh, she knew he had gone out to see friends today. She had been enjoying his avuncular concern. He was an easy person to be around, and it did Josh good to have a grandfatherly figure about. They often spent time with Harry at the weekends, taking the odd walk, going for pub lunches. Despite her differences with Mary, Amy recognised she had lost a useful support system, and Harry was doing a good job of plugging the gap.

She opened the door, and nearly passed out.

‘Mary! What a surprise!’ She hoped the shock in her face wasn’t too obvious. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see Mary, but it would have been nice to have had some prior warning.

‘Well, I was coming to visit my sister in Romford,’ said Mary, in rather stiff tones, ‘so I thought I’d pop in to see how you were both doing. I hope you don’t mind.’ Romford to Nevermorewell was a good hour and a half. Something told Amy this wasn’t a spontaneous visit.

‘Mind? Of course I don’t mind,’ lied Amy, hoping the house wasn’t too untidy. ‘It’s lovely to see you. Josh, look who’s here!’

Josh, who had been playing with his train set in the front room, came diving out when he heard Mary’s voice.

‘Granneeee!’ he shrieked in delight, and flung himself at her.

Amy was relieved to see the pleasure in Mary’s face when she hugged her grandson. After all, it wasn’t really Amy she had come to see. And whether or not Amy cared to admit it, by moving away from Mary, she had taken away from her mother-in-law all that was left of Jamie. Josh, too, seemed ecstatic to see his grandmother. Amy had been fretting that he had seemed very quiet since the move. Now, seeing him so natural with Mary, she realised he hadn’t been his normal self. The old guilt welled up inside her, threatening to engulf the good feelings and bring her right back to square one. Mary’s next comment didn’t help much either.

‘Oh, I have missed you both!’ she said. ‘The house seems so quiet without you. No chance that you’ll change your mind, I suppose?’

‘We’ve only just got here,’ said Amy, trying to laugh it off and ignore the feelings of resentment the remark engendered.