Crystal Masks

There was silence at the other end of the phone.

"Hans, are you there?"

"I heard you."

"Sorry, you’re acting as if I didn't tell you anything."

"Don’t apologize, just tell me who this guy is?"

"I met him when I ended up in hospital and..." she froze. Damn it! She didn't want to tell him about the fall.

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"Nothing serious. I'm fine, really!" She slicked a lock of hair behind her ears to hear better.

"Tell me the truth!" insisted Hans in a sharp voice.

When he used that tone, it meant he wouldn't give up until he got convincing answers.

"I stumbled on the stairs of the hotel in Paris. Thankfully I didn't hurt myself much, just a swollen knee and a few stitches in my head."

"I'll pop over and see you."

"Not now. I’m still recovering from the flight back." She didn’t want him to come here and notice Johnny's absence.

"I'll come later, so you'll have plenty of time to rest."

"I need to have some peace for a while. Don't insist! And I’m warning you: if you come anyway, I won’t open for you."

Moments of silence went by. "All right, but we’ll catch up during the week, okay?"

"Let me come to you, I’m often around your way. That way I’ll see Esther too."

"She’ll certainly be happy to see you. Now tell me about that man, You said you met him in the hospital. Was he a doctor?"

"The one who stitched me up. And this guy is the spitting image of Jack with a beard. When I heard him speak, I told myself that it couldn’t be him. His English is not as perfect as that other’s was, and it has a French cadence. Furthermore, the staff referred to him as Dr. Jacques Legrand. So it's clear he can't be your brother-in-law. He looked at me like he’d never seen me before."

"It’s strange the things that happen in life...”

Loreley had the impression she could hear a note of concern in her brother’s voice, as well as perplexity. "That's what I thought."

"Please don't tell Esther what you just told me. It took her a long time to accept the disappearance of the only remaining member of her family."

"Of course not! Don't worry."

"What about John?"

"He's fine, much better than me. He's at work right now." Of that she was sure.

"Say hello from me. I have to go now, I'm sorry, I have a meeting in a few minutes. Let mom know you’re home, and try to rest."

A little more rest and getting back to walking well would mean she’d need physiotherapy! she thought snorting.

"I have to go back to the office tomorrow, though, or Kilmer will fire me."

"Try to stand up to him, don't let him intimidate you. See you during the week."

8

Sonny closed the piano and threw paper and pencil onto the top of it; the new composition required a lot of concentration, which had been lacking recently.

He got off the stool, walked out of the study and opened the window of the living room to go into the garden. What he needed was some cold air to snap out of it.

Ever since he had seen Loreley at the ice rink, he thought of her often and, despite trying to immerse himself in his work, he couldn’t drive her from his mind, the images of her face and its Nordic beauty, and that one time together. On other occasions he had been with a woman for just one night and then had slept peacefully afterwards; why should it be any different with Loreley, he thought, as he heard some quick footsteps.

The housekeeper, a middle-aged woman with a gaunt face, was coming towards him waving a dark grey garment.

"Mr. Marshall, it's cold out here! Put this jacket on," she said as soon as she was close enough to give it to him.

"Thank you, but I'm fine like this."

"You’ll catch something with only a shirt on... and it’s half unbuttoned at that!" She hung the jacket over her arm and did up the top buttons of his shirt.

"Louise, I'm not a child. I know what I'm doing." He stopped her.

A gust of wind lifted a patch of dry leaves from the ground, some of them ending up in the woman's hair, Annoyed, she tried to get them off. "Do you see what the weather’s like? There’ll be a downpour soon! Let me do it." She looked at him determined, with her dark little eyes sunk in their sockets.

Sonny took the jacket off her arm and put it around his shoulders. He knew she wouldn't leave until he was covered. The housekeeper's diligence was sometimes as irritating as a mosquito bite, but she had become fond of him and seemed to have no other way of showing her affection, other than always keeping an eye on him.

When Louise had returned to her chores, Sonny continued his walk along the path which would lead him to the fountain.

"Esther. Waterfalls and fountains fascinate her...” he murmured, his voice betraying the pain he was still feeling.

He shook his head Why keep thinking of that woman? She had made her choice and now she was happy with Hans. That alleviated the heartache of losing her. A bitter smile crossed his lips. He couldn’t lose something he had never had.

"If it weren't for him, though, Esther would be here now, with me, in this house and...”

He chased away those harrowing words with a gesture of his hand. That's enough! He had to divert his attention to something else, or to someone else. For example, to a girl with long blond hair and blue eyes.

Loreley returned to occupy his thoughts, which tumbled around in his mind looking for their logical order. Those images became clear at times, at other times blurry, as they followed the memories of that one night spent with her. He felt the desire to have her there, even just to have a chat, perhaps with a glass of champagne in front of them. But that girl always eluded him, she didn’t seem willing to see him again. Maybe she had repented having given herself to him... and he did not feel at peace with himself.

To hell with it! The only two women he had loved had caused him only trouble and pain, and he had no intention of adding a third.

"Hello, Sonny!" A female voice greeted him from behind.

A small sigh escaped him before he turned around.

"Hello, Lucy. How come you’re around these parts?" Nassau County was a long way from Manhattan.

"What a warm welcome! Don’t be in too much of a hurry to hug me, I don't want you to rumple your clothes. But it doesn’t worry me, and I'll prove it right away..." Without taking her eyes off his face, she waved her hand in the air, as if calling someone's attention.

Sonny looked beyond her shoulders and saw the housekeeper heading towards them with a bottle and two goblets on a tray. He frowned. "I see Louise has been busy down in the cellar."

"Don't be upset. You know I have a certain influence on her." Lucy was the only one who could soften the woman's stiff and edgy character.

"I still don't understand the reason..."

When Louise reached them, Lucy took the champagne. "You can open it," she said, handing it to him.

"Apparently my walk is already over," he said, taking the bottle.

"You're in a bad mood! Louise warned me. And I even got dressed up for you," she said sulkily.

Sonny looked at her. She was wearing a short, elegant blue dress, which followed the generous curves of her breast and sinuous shape of her hips. Her hair was pulled back at the nape of her neck in a soft bun. Lucy was beautiful, yes, but he had known her since she was a small girl, and continued to regard her as his friend Paul's little sister.

"Sorry, I’m feeling out of sorts. If you came all the way here and wanted champagne, you must have a reason. What are we toasting this time?"

"Actually, you’re right." She picked up the goblets and, when Louise had gone, she went on. "Do you remember the audition I had to do in the theatre?"

"Of course I remember. And so?"

"I did it and... they took me!"

He opened his eyes wide, astonished. "I can't believe it!"

"Oh, thank you very much! You really know how to make me feel proud of myself."

"Why don't we stop all this and give ourselves a break?" he snorted.

"I came here to celebrate my new unique work, and I’d like you to be happy for me."

"You told me you’d been studying hard, this time, but I didn't believe you. And instead you’ve shown me that when you want, you know how to be clever. I'm happy for you."

She smiled. "Thank you!"

Sonny poured the champagne into the two goblets that she was holding, then took one himself. "Best wishes for your career in the theatre, then."

The crystal clinked and they drank in silence.

It was Lucy who spoke again. "You know, I was tired of seeing myself with my face paralysed in a smile for hours and hours in front of a camera. Much better to act and have direct contact with people."

"I can't blame you."

She asked him to fill her glass again, drank it in one gulp and handed it back to him.

Sonny watched her drink with gusto and wrinkled his brow.

"I hope you're pacing yourself with alcohol. I've noticed you’ve been getting stuck into it quite a lot lately."

"Don't worry, I don't drink that much. And anyway, I’ll never become like your ex-wife Leen, if that's what you're afraid of. I'm not that desperate."

"Well, I really hope so!"

"As you can see I’m getting on with life, and doing well too; you're the one who's still tied to the past. When are you going to break free from everything that happened to you? Compared to last year you've changed, I must admist, but I hope you’re not diverting your life the wrong way and that it could do you harm."

"What the heck are you saying?" he asked her annoyed.

"There, see? Now I'd like to bite back, but today I feel too happy to want to fight. I'm serious."

"I prefer you as you were a while back, then."

She puffed up her cheeks and blew out the air.

"Listen, do you remember what you told me the night Esther had to leave New York and I accused you of not being in love with her enough, because you resigned yourself to letting her go without putting up a fight?"

Sonny narrowed his eyes and searched his mind for those nefarious hours. It was just before Leen tried to kill him. Lucy had come from behind, bringing him a drink, just as she had done a short time ago.

"No. It doesn't come back to me right now."

"You said to me, "It’s like I have like a pin stuck in my heart. A subtle, persistent pain that won’t give me peace, but that I’ll have to live with until I don’t know when. I'm just more prepared than you are to put up with it."

"Congratulations, what a memory!"

"I couldn't hope to do theatre if I didn't. And that reply had remained impressed on my soul. But let’s get back to the point I was making ‘I'm just more prepared than you are to put up with it.’ Would you say that again now? It seems to me that I’m reacting better than you to the pain."

"Really?! And what makes you think that?"

"The fact that I'm trying to improve myself while you're just getting worse."

"Well it's easy to improve when you start from the bottom..." He stopped. For crying out loud!

The phrase had escaped him. This time he had struck her weak point: self-esteem.

He heard his friend inhale.

"Forgive me Lucy, I didn't want to be so offensive, really..." he hurried to say, putting his hand on her arm.

She looked down at the goblet she was holding between her fingers, as if she were contemplating the bubbles rising from the bottom to the surface, then looked at him again in the face, her eyes shining. "Until recently, you would never have said such a nasty thing to me. I would maybe, but not you. Doesn't that tell you anything?"

Sonny sighed. "It tells me that perhaps it’s better to finish this conversation and see each other again at a more appropriate time. Today it’s obvious I’m not in the mood and I come out with unfortunate remarks, that’s why I would have preferred if you’d phoned me instead of just dropping in unexpected. Much as I’m happy to see you, there are times when it’s better to be alone. That doesn't mean I’m not fond of you." He smiled at her.

She took the glass and bottle out of his hands.

"Good! The next time we meet I’ll make sure that you bring the champagne to me. Right now I can't imagine which happy occasion you’ll be celebrating, but whatever it is, I'll be happy to share it with you." She turned on her heels and left him there in the garden, by the fountain.

Lucy placed the bottle and the glasses on the bar in the living room, then with a forced smile said goodbye to Louise, who went to open the front door for her. When she got into the car the smile disappeared, leaving her eyes free to express her emotions with tears.

She didn't know what else to do. Her attempts to shake Sonny out of that form of apathy hidden behind an inadequate and inconsistent behaviour compared to the person he’d always been, had proved useless each time. He hadn’t been himself for a long time.

It all started when he had discovered that his fiancée Leen, who then became his wife, had cheated on him with Hans. Later, witnessing her degradation towards alcoholism and gambling, his downward spiral had continued, culminating in the day that his little girl lost her life in a car accident, precisely because of that woman who, instead of protecting her as a mother should have done, had pulled her with her on the road to ruin.

Esther's arrival in Sonny's life had made the situation worse.

Lucy was unable to do any more than she was doing for that man. She had become close to him because, sharing the same pain, they had often found themselves dating to help each other overcome their own crisis. But Sonny did not want or could not forget. It's not that she had forgotten that she had fallen in love with Esther's brother, far from it; but she tried to think about it as little as possible and move on, without letting the past trap her like a fish in a net.

Jack hadn't even said goodbye to her before he disappeared from her life. Obviously she didn't matter enough to him. Nothing at all, actually!

Instead, for the first time in her young life, she had fallen seriously in love.

"Jack, wherever you are..." she said aloud. "Fuck you!" she shouted then, pressing her foot on the accelerator.

9

Sitting at her desk, pen in hand, Loreley phoned the doctor and set up an appointment for the last week of the month. As Legrand had told her, it was pointless to hurry, but at least it was done. She drew a big "x" on the calendar, so the day of the visit was always visible, and also entered the date in the calendar on her mobile phone. Then she opened her e-mail. There was a lot of commercial mail, advertising, a couple of jobs, two from the bank And the last... from Dr. Jacques Legrand!

She clicked on it.

Hello Miss Lehmann,

I am writing to ask how the convalescence is going. The head wound? What about the knee? Keep the brace on it until goes down completely and you have no more pain when you put weight on your leg.

I'm thinking about taking a few days off, for a holiday abroad. Who knows! I hope your offer is still open. Jacques Legrand.

She smiled. Anything could happen.

"Good news?" asked Sarah as she came into the room.

Loreley looked up from the computer. The secretary was looking at her standing still on the threshold, holding a binder tight to her chest that looked bigger than her, petite and frail.

"What have you got for me?"

Sarah looked down at the papers in her hand. "Oh, no. These are for the boss. I saw that you were smiling and I was intrigued; smiles have been rather rare lately."

"It's not a good time," she confessed.

"I realized that, Ethan is worried about you."

Loreley sensed she was being scrutinized by those eyes which were so dark it was difficult to distinguish the pupil from the iris. There were a few moments of silence.

"If you need me, I'm here..." her friend said, adjusting the large reading glasses better on her nose.

"Thank you, I'll keep it in mind."

When Sarah had gone, Loreley leaned back in her chair. From what the secretary had said, she suspected that Ethan was aware of the situation between herself and John. Maybe he knew where he was, too. She would extort that information from him at any cost; but she had to get him alone.

The occasion presented itself the next day. He had just come in to show her the article in the New York Times, where the Wallace case was mentioned. Public opinion seemed to have already condemned him, inflicting as much punishment as possible on him, before the trial even began.

As she read the news, she shook her head. If she, deep in her heart also condemned him, how could she hope the jury would believe that man? She had to defend him and she was not doing it the correct way and in the right spirit.

She decided she would go and speak to the Wallace family to get as much information as possible about Peter's experience and personality. Yes, she had to dig into their lives.

"Loreley, are you with us?" asked Ethan, standing in front of her desk.

She closed the newspaper and handed it back to him.

"Sorry, I got distracted reading the article."

"I was saying that if you want me to help you with this case, I will."

"That’s kind of you, but you already have your own work to do, and I want to get through this on my own."

The man gazed at her with an insistent message of indulgence, mixed with compassion which made her uncomfortable. She go up from her chair and faced him, leaning against the edge of her desk, arms folded.

"Instead of looking at me like that, why don't you tell me what you're really thinking?”

"I don't understand."

"Come on, you know damn well that John has left home... and maybe you know why." She was forcing his hand, but she had no choice if she wanted to get something out of him.

He scratched his head, a gesture he repeated whenever he felt ill at ease.

"Come on, Ethan! Please."

The man sighed. "What do you want me to say? I don't know what to think and it's not for me to judge. I'm just as messed up as you are with my love life, and that's enough for me."

"Are you talking about your wife? How much longer are you going to allow her to use your son as leverage? You must not let her do it any longer."

"If only it were so simple! If I’m not careful about how I behave with Stephany and what I say to her, I risk making things difficult for Lukas. And for myself. I'm afraid she's going to take him away from New York and go back to her own town."

"Don't give in. Don't give her any more money, she's already bleeding you dry. Try telling her to do what she wants. I really want to see if she’d leave. And to do what, then?"

He shook his head and remained silent. She felt sorry for him and dropped the matter.

"Do you know that Johnny dumped me in Paris, leaving me there alone?" She pointed to the wound on her head. "I did this running after him. I fell down the stairs."

"In fact I wondered how you had hurt yourself."

"Kilmer knew. But now let's go back to the topic that interests me most right now. Johnny left home without even a phone call letting me know his intentions, or to give me a chance to defend myself." She put her hands on her hips. "You know what? I don't know if he deserves an explanation, or even if it’s right to give him a second chance to rectify his behaviour!"

"There’s nothing right in all this and I don't want to take sides with either of you." He tightened his lips and took a deep breath. "Look, I’m fond of you both and it hurts me to see you like this. He's not doing well either, I can assure you. I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything else; talk to John."

"And how do I talk to him if I don't even know where to find him?"

Ethan did not respond immediately, he seemed to be measuring the floor tiles with small nervous steps, back and forth, his hands in his pockets; until he stopped again in front of her to look her straight in the eye. "John is in Los Angeles."

"Thank you, Ethan."

"Good luck!"

***

The Wallace's' home was a three-story red-brick building on 71st Street, near the intersection with West End Avenue. Loreley didn't even have to take the car to get there, because it was just over two hundred yards from her home. Before going to see her client's parents, she had gone home from the office to freshen up and change the shirt she was wearing with her suit,.

The woman who opened the door looked at her annoyed, and Loreley realized that her son had not let her know she was coming. It was only after she introduced herself and explained the reason for the visit that she saw her smile and was led inside.

The living room where she was welcomed was decorated in a sober style, which was a little old-fashioned. There was no sign of extravagance, not even in the colours of the upholstery. Everything seemed to be in place, so tidy it seemed almost manic.

Loreley sat down on a cream velvet sofa, with a row of matching cushions resting against the back of it.

"Can I offer you some tea, Miss Lehmann?" the woman asked, standing stiffly in front of her. She was wearing a black dress, just below the knee, mid-heeled shoes and here straight brown hair was gathered at the nape of her neck. She had no make-up, but seemed ready to go out. And in a hurry, at that! The rather rushed mannerisms confirmed this.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Wallace; I'm fine."

She heard the front door unlock and then some footsteps. Shortly after, a tall thin boy appeared at the door. He looked to be in his thirties and resembled Mrs Wallace, so Loreley deduced that it was Michael, Peter's brother. He didn’t look like Peter’s brother, who must have taken after his father.

. "Hello, Counselor Lehmann. I hope you haven’t had to wait too long." He turned to Lorely and shook her hand.

"Michael, why didn’t you tell me anything about this? Did you do it on purpose?" the mother intervened. "What are you hiding from me?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "I've been busy and I forgot to let you know. Now don't start seeing intrigues in everything again."

His mother glared at him.

"I didn't know you had to go out right now," he apologized.

Mrs. Wallace did not seem totally convinced, but her son was unapologetic. "Oh, alright!" She turned to Loreley. "I'm happy to have met my son's lawyer. I'm sorry I didn't come to court, but I won’t miss the next hearing. Now I must go out. As you just heard, I have a commitment," and saying this she left the room.

Loreley sat back on the couch, and Michael picked up a padded chair and sat opposite her.

"I’m sorry. My mother has her paranoia."

"I would have preferred to speak with your mother too, I think I told you."

The young man folded his arms and crossed his ankles. "It's better to leave my mother out of this conversation."

Loreley frowned. "Why?"

"You see, she’s a woman with very firm convictions and a strong sense of morality, or what it is she means by that word. Let's just say she’s a bit of a goody two-shoes. In her opinion, Peter is a layabout, only capable of creating problems."

"Really?"

"Of course, it all depends on what a mother expects of her child, though mine has always demanded too much. But I must admit that this time the problem that Peter has created is really enormous, greater than him... and us."

"And what is your relationship with your brother?"

"Well, when I was little, Peter behaved as if I was the one who took Mom's attention away from him, and for spite he would pinch me so I would annoy her with my crying; or he secretly drank the milk in my bottle, which Mom would leave in my hands once I was old enough to hold it myself. Every now and then, as a boy, he would break something and blame me for the damage, to make her scold me."