Carrying The Surgeon's Baby

As she approached the helicopter, she caught sight of Ryan and her heart did a flip-flop again. He hadn’t changed much in the last six months. He was just as handsome as ever. He took her breath away. His light brown hair was perfectly tousled, those stunning blue eyes focused on the patient and paramedics. Ryan still had the scruff on his strong jaw, but it didn’t hide the delectable cleft in his chin.

Get a grip.

And just as she was telling herself that, his gaze went from the patient to her. His blue eyes widened in shock, but only for a moment. It was if he was surprised to see her, like he hadn’t expected her to be here, but she found that hard to believe. She looked away and moved toward the paramedic as she and Dr. Teal stepped up to take over care of the patient.

The only way she was going to survive this was to treat him like every other surgeon she dealt with, at a distance and professionally.

Which was what she should’ve done six months ago in Vegas, instead of letting down her guard and letting him sweep her off her feet.

Maybe because you needed that?

Emily shook that thought away.

“Patient is male, ten years old and sustained a spinal injury while riding an ATV. Patient suffered a break in his spine between C7 and T3. Dr. Gary has induced a state of medically induced coma and hypothermia,” the paramedic said as they slid the stretcher out of the helicopter onto the gurney.

“Hypothermia?” Emily asked.

“To preserve the spinal cord so maybe he can walk again,” Ryan said from across the stretcher as he helped load the patient onto the gurney.

Emily didn’t say anything to him.

“We’ve got it from here,” she said to the paramedic.

The paramedic nodded and handed her the chart. Emily placed it on the end of the gurney and began to wheel the patient toward the elevator. She could feel that Ryan was looking at her but she didn’t care. They had to get this patient to the ICU and stabilized. The only things she wanted to discuss with Ryan was work and signing the divorce papers.

That was it.

And now was not the time to discuss the divorce.

Dr. Teal had called the elevator and the three of them got the patient’s gurney onto the elevator while Emily pushed the code for the floor holding the ICU. As the doors shut, she could hear the roar of the helicopter engine come to life again. She wished that Ryan had got back on that helicopter.

Inducing hypothermia on an adult in a traumatic spinal injury often had a good outcome, but a pediatric patient? It was frowned upon.

What was Ryan thinking? Was he this arrogant that he believed he was God or something?

“What the heck were you thinking, inducing therapeutic hypothermia in a pediatric patient?” Emily berated. She was so angry, but it really wasn’t about his method of treatment. She wanted to scream at him for ignoring her for the last six months.

For not responding about the baby.

For hurting her. But she couldn’t say those things in front of Dr. Teal so she attacked him over his treatment choice to blow off the anger she felt in that moment of seeing him again.

Dr. Teal’s eyes widened and for one moment Emily felt bad for exploding in front of her intern, but it was only for a moment, because when she looked across the gurney at Ryan he was smiling. That charming, arrogant smile that had got her into trouble in the first place.

“It’s good to see you too, wife.”

CHAPTER TWO

WHY DID HE have to be so cocky?

The moment he said the word, he was sure that fire was going to come shooting out of Emily’s nostrils and he really understood the meaning of that old saying, If looks could kill, from the way she was glaring at him. But, dammit, she looked just as good as ever.

Her blonde, almost platinum-colored, hair was shorter, but it suited her and he couldn’t help but remember the way that if he kissed her just below her earlobe it made her sigh in pleasure. He’d been a fool to walk away from her.

You weren’t the only one who walked away, remember?

When he’d woken up in that Las Vegas hotel room, he had been alone and the only thing left of her had been the marriage certificate on the night stand.

He’d tried to reach out to her but she hadn’t responded, and by the time she’d reached out to him, he’d been boarding a plane heading to the Middle East.

And Emily had never reached out to him again until he’d received the divorce papers a week ago. That was the first he’d heard from her. It had been around the same time that Dr. Ruchi had asked him to consult on the conjoined twins case.

He’d figured it would be nice to hand deliver the divorce papers to her and put an end to that reckless night in Las Vegas, and also lay her ghost rest, because for the last six months she’d been all he could think about.

The fact that another woman haunted him so much scared him, because he remembered the last time that had happened.

He’d thought Morgan had loved him. She’d fallen pregnant and, without telling him, she’d terminated the pregnancy and left.

He never wanted to get involved with another woman again. Not in a serious relationship anyway. One-night stands were fine, but marriage?

What had he been thinking?

It was a relief that Emily seemed to want the same thing.

He had mentally prepared himself for the worst by coming to Seattle and facing his demons, but he hadn’t been prepared to really see her again, because when he’d first seen Emily in Vegas he’d been a lost man. She had been gorgeous and though she’d been a bit shy, there had been something about her that had made him want to know her better.

He’d fallen for her intelligence, her beauty, her charm, her lack of dancing skills, but, just like every other woman, she’d used him and she’d left.

He’d become used to leaving first. He wasn’t used to it being the other way around. It suited him, though, because he’d been unable to deal with that heartache Morgan had inflicted on him.

Emily opened her mouth to say something else and then glanced over her shoulder at the intern, who was at the end of the gurney, and thought better of it.

The doors to the elevator opened and they wheeled the gurney toward an open room in the ICU where they could get his patient settled and Ryan could reverse the hypothermia and get busy repairing this young boy’s spine.

“Dr. Teal, would you get Dr. Gary some scrubs and a surgical cap?” Emily asked as they made sure the patient was stabilized.

“Of course, Dr. West.” The intern left the ICU room and the team of ICU nurses took over as Emily picked up the patient’s chart and motioned him to follow her. She set the chart down at the nurses’ station and turned to face him, her arms crossed, and it was then he noticed the round swell under her scrubs.

His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She was pregnant and she hadn’t told him? Just seeing her like that caused a flashback.

“You could’ve told me you were pregnant!” Ryan shouted as Morgan packed up her belongings.

“Why? We’re not married and I don’t want to be a mother. My career is my focus now.”

“I have a right to know!”

“You do. I just told you, but it’s done. Now we can both move on.”

He shook that memory away. He hadn’t wanted to be a father, but by the time he’d come back to New York after a business trip Morgan had already terminated the pregnancy and the relationship.

He’d been kept in the dark.

Apparently, history was repeating itself.

And he was scared by the prospect. He just had to handle this delicately.

“You look good, Emily.”

“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head.

“What?”

“You know what.” She looked toward the ICU pod. “That is a pediatric patient.”

“With a traumatic spinal cord injury,” he answered, confused. “I did what was best for transfer from Portland.”

Emily bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “Therapeutic hypothermia is not tolerated well in pediatric patients.”

“The boy is ten,” Ryan snapped. “He’s not an infant and I put him in a medicated coma. He’s old enough to tolerate it for a short time and he’s young enough to bounce back. There won’t be significant loss in brain function that he can’t recover with extensive physiotherapy, which he was going to need if I left him a quadriplegic.”

She sighed and her expression softened. “I assume you got the parents’ permission.”

“This is not my first time performing this on a preteen pediatric spinal cord injury. We’ll reverse the hypothermia and I’ll repair the spine,” he snapped, annoyed she was questioning him. And he realized this argument had nothing to do with his treatment plan of the patient and everything to do with the pregnancy and divorce papers.

She was angry.

Well, he was angry too.

“Is it mine?” he asked, catching her off guard.

“Yes.” She blushed, the pink creeping her way up into her high cheekbones. “So, you did get my emails?”

Ryan cocked an eyebrow. “What emails?”

“I sent you an email when I found out I was pregnant and then several others. There was no response so I assumed you didn’t want anything to do with me and the baby.”

“You assumed?”

“You didn’t answer me,” she hissed.

“I didn’t get the emails, Emily. I didn’t know that you were pregnant.”

Emily was going to say something further when Dr. Teal returned with scrubs.

“I have the surgical scrubs, Dr. West.”

“Thanks,” Ryan said, taking them from the intern. “Can you prep an operating room for me?”

“Of course, Dr. Gary.” Dr. Teal left and Emily glared at him.

“She’s a surgical intern. She’s here to learn under my guidance today.”

“And isn’t it her job to prep the operating room? It was when I was a surgical intern,” Ryan said.

Emily’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll want a resident. Dr. Sharipova is one of the best and most promising pediatric surgical residents. He’s been an invaluable asset to me.”

“Thank you. I’m sure he’ll be great help, but I would also like you in there. I was told that you would be in the operating room with me on this and I told the patients’ parents that the best pediatric surgeon on the western seaboard would be assisting me in the operating room.”

“Of course I’ll be in there.”

“Good.” There was more that he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t want to say it in the middle of the ICU with patients and other staff members around them. This was not the place to talk about their baby or their marriage.

Of course, after calling her his wife in front of her surgical intern that secret was going to spread around the hospital like wildfire.

“Can you show me a place I can get changed into my scrubs and possibly store my stuff? All my luggage is being shipped to my rental in Seattle, so I don’t have a bag or much with me.”

Her expression softened again. “Sure, I’ll show you where the attendings’ lounge is. Follow me.”

Emily could feel all the eyes on her as she and Ryan left the ICU. She was pretty sure that most of the staff by now knew what he’d called her. Not that she could blame Dr. Teal for saying something. It was pretty shocking and she felt bad that Amanda had been mixed up in that tense moment.

She was feeling bad for calling Ryan out and for putting Amanda into the middle of all those emotions she was feeling.

Although she’d never used therapeutic hypothermia on a patient, she shouldn’t have questioned his tactics. He was a brilliant surgeon. Her reaction was not keeping her emotions out of the mix. If anything, it was causing more problems.

Her plan had been to treat Ryan like any colleague and it was rare that she called out another practitioner on their methods in public like that. Especially when neurosurgery was not her specialty. And especially since it wasn’t even about that. She was angry he’d never responded to her and then he’d made her look like a fool in front of Dr. Teal. She’d hated it when Robert had done that to her.

Usually she was calm, cool and collected. She prided herself on professional behavior. Behavior she’d worked so hard to learn. What she’d just pulled was not her usual behavior and she was annoyed with herself for letting her emotions get the better of her.

The attendings’ lounge was, mercifully, empty.

“There’s an empty cubby over there.” She pointed to the one that was furthest from the door but she stayed close to the door, because it was an escape route.

“Thanks.” Ryan walked over to the cubby, slipped off his leather jacket and placed it inside. “I did get one message, by the way.”

That shocked her. “Oh?”

“The divorce papers.”

“But not news of my pregnancy. I sent you ten emails.”

“I told you the night we got married that I had to catch a flight. I was overseas and in an area where internet connection was spotty. I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”

He was unbuttoning his shirt to put on his scrubs and Emily tried not to watch. She wanted to believe him.

“I’d had a lot to drink that night. I don’t remember you telling me that.”

“I remember, sort of. I guess we’ both had a lot to drink that night because an Elvis impersonator married us? Really? That sounds tacky.” It was a joke meant to break the tension and it did.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she couldn’t help but laugh just a little. “Right. Completely tacky.”

“I’m glad you decided to keep the baby,” he said softly.

“Of course I would.”

A strange expression crossed his face as he slipped off his shirt and then pulled his scrub top over his head. For a moment Emily thought that he didn’t quite believe that she would’ve kept this baby. Everyone had a choice, but she knew she’d wanted this child the moment the stick had turned blue.

Was it planned? No, but she was happy to be pregnant. She liked kids, which was why she’d become a pediatric surgeon.

“After this surgery we really need to sit down and talk,” he said.

“Right. About the conjoined twins. I have to go over the chart...”

He cocked an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about?”

“The conjoined twins case. What’re you talking about?”

“I’m talking about our marriage and the baby.”

Her heart skipped a beat and she could feel the warmth creeping up her necks into her cheeks. “Ryan, we don’t have a marriage.”

“We’re still married. We can’t get an annulment and I’m not sure about signing the divorce papers.”

Of course.

He had to make this difficult by not signing the papers. It was frustrating.

“Is that what you want to talk about? You want to talk about the divorce? It’s all laid out in the papers.”

“No, I don’t want to talk about a divorce, Emily,” he said in frustration. “I want to talk about you and me and the baby. About what we should do.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “There is no you and I, Ryan. We made a silly mistake in Vegas.”

“I don’t think it was silly,” he said seriously.

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“I am serious, Emily. I want to raise our baby...” He paused and looked a bit uncertain. “I want us to raise our baby together.”

CHAPTER THREE

EMILY DIDN’T WANT to talk about it. She thought the whole idea was absurd. He wanted to talk about their relationship? He wanted to make it work? To raise a baby together? They didn’t have a relationship. They’d met, had a few drinks and had a one-night stand. And she wasn’t even sure she totally believed him about not getting her emails.

He’d acted surprised, though.

Although Robert had been a good actor too. She’d been duped before. Emily bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what to think.

Other than the work he’d published and the talks she’d listened to, she knew nothing about him and he knew nothing about her. That was not the basis for any kind of relationship. Her parents were best friends. They’d taken their time to get to know each other and they’d had a long, happy marriage.

They still had a good marriage.

Ryan and she didn’t have that.

They’d had one night together. That was the basis for nothing.

There was a tiny kick and she looked down at her belly. Well, maybe it wasn’t completely nothing, but still she didn’t want to talk about this with Ryan. They didn’t have a real marriage. Why did he seem so keen to get involved now?

“We’re not talking about this,” she said quickly. “I’ll meet you down in the OR.”

“I don’t know where the OR floor is and I don’t have access to it.”

Dammit.

“Finished getting dressed,” she said through pursed lips.

“Emily—”

“No,” she snapped. “The only thing we’re going to talk about after this surgery is the conjoined twin case. It’s a very important case and the mother is arriving tomorrow. If the babies survive the birth and make it through their first week of life, we have to talk about a plan to do the separation. That’s all I want to talk about right now. Just patients, just cases. That’s it, Ryan. That’s all I can handle.” And it was true. She was feeling overwhelmed. She hadn’t felt this way since Robert had betrayed her and she hated this feeling.

His eyes narrowed and he undid the buckle to his jeans. “Fine.”

Only she had a feeling by the way he’d said “Fine” that this wasn’t over and that this discussion was going to continue. He was persistent enough. It was something she’d admired about him. He was driven and that’s why he was the best there was in neurosurgery and why she’d striven to continue to rise in her chosen field.

There had been so many people who’d said she couldn’t be a surgeon when she struggled with Asperger’s, when she struggled with social anxieties, but she had risen above so much to get where she was. She worked longer hours. She worked hard.

To be perfect. To be the best.

Her pregnancy made her human and that had been a hard pill to swallow, but she’d never shied away from her mistakes, but to think that she and Ryan had something more than just a momentary attraction was silly.

It’s not momentary. You’re still attracted to him.

And her cheeks heated as he picked up the scrub pants. She cleared her throat and looked away. “I’ll be out in the hall and then we can head down to the OR.”

“Fine,” he said, but there was a devilish twinkle in his eyes as if he knew that he was affecting her and she hated that.

She slipped out of the attendings’ lounge and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and trying to catch her breath. When she opened them again, she could see a few of the interns, nurses and even physicians watching her, whispering as they looked at her belly.

Dammit.

She hated being the center of attention when it came to gossip. She didn’t mind it when it was about her work, but when it involved her baby and now her supposed marriage to Ryan, it bothered her.

The door to the lounge opened up and Ryan stepped out wearing scrubs instead of his street clothes. He looked good in the dark blue of the SMFPC attending colors. The color brought out the intensity of his cerulean eyes.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Fine.”

Liar.

“You look a bit pale. Are you overdoing it?”

“No. I’m fine. Let’s go, they’re waiting for us in OR two and I don’t want that patient in therapeutic hypothermia any longer than he has to be.”

“Lead the way.”

Emily led Ryan down to the OR floor. They didn’t say anything to each other, but she could feel the stares as they passed through the halls. Gossip spread like wildfire in this hospital and she would have to have a word with Dr. Teal.

They stopped just outside the wide hall that led toward the many operating rooms. She pulled on her scrub cap and showed Ryan where to get a generic one. She hung up her white lab coat, changed her shoes. Ryan covered his shoes with booties. He’d have a pair of sneakers that would be just for the OR floor.

“You ready?” she asked.

“Always.” He smiled at her and it was full of confidence.

“Come on.” She punched in a code and opened the door. She always liked this walk down the hallway. It was calming. There were gurneys and equipment waiting in the wings, sometimes there would be a gurney roll by that was accompanied by a parent and a child life support person as SMFPC supported the parental presence at induction, and those cases always made her smile.

There was fear in the parents’ eyes, hidden behind their masks, but they were strong for their children and their presence really promoted the well-being and health of the children.

Then there were cases like this little boy they were attending.

Priority A, where a young life was on the line.

She ran a hand over her belly and glanced up at Ryan, whose gaze was on her belly, before he met her eyes briefly. There was pain in his eyes, but also fear.

“The scrub room is here,” she said, breaking the tension that fell between them.

He nodded and walked into the room before her. The scrub room overlooked the operating room where their young patient was lying. The rest of the operating room team was prepping him and the anesthesiologists were waiting.

Ryan was scrubbing, staring at his patient intently, as she often did herself. She would play out the surgery in her mind, like a playbook.

“Do you think you’ll be successful?” she asked, because she knew he was a great neurosurgeon but she’d never worked with him before and none of the neurosurgeons at SMFPC would ever attempt therapeutic hypothermia on a child younger than sixteen. Ryan was a bit of a maverick. Maybe that’s why she’d been so attracted to him in the first place. He was so different from Robert, who had always done things by the book.

So different from her.

“Of course.” He smiled confidently. “I’ve done this before.”

“Good, because I’ve never done this.”

“You’ve never done a spinal decompression and a repair of a fracture?”

“Yes. I’ve assisted with that, but I’ve never dealt with a child in hypothermia like this.”

“It’ll work, Emily,” Ryan said gently, before he shook off his hands and toweled them dry. “Trust me.”

Emily continued scrubbing as he headed into the operating room. He’d asked her to trust him and she wanted to do that, for their patient’s sake, but she had a hard time trusting someone she didn’t know.

She liked routine. She liked certain anesthesiologists, certain residents, certain scrub nurses in her operating room. The routine gave her a sense of calm, and she’d never worked with Ryan before.

He’s the best.

And that’s what she had to keep telling herself. She shook off her hands and then headed into the operating room. Her favorite scrub nurse, Nancy, helped her into her gown and gloves. Emily also had to remind herself that she was not lead surgeon here.

Ryan was.

She might be the head of pediatric surgery, but he was the neurosurgeon and she had to put her faith in him and what he thought was best. He’d been there when the accident had come in. He’d got all the permissions from the patient’s parents. He knew the chart best.

Emily looked up into the gallery and could see the chief of surgery watching, as well as a few of the interns and residents.

They’d come to see the show.

Ryan’s reputation preceded him.

She had to get a grip on all her self-doubt and focus on this moment, because soon there would be a set of babies on this table and it would be a team, led by her and Ryan, as they worked to separate the babies and give them a chance at life.