A Secret To Tell You

“Ah, I’m beginning to see. Grandpa, uh, Kestrel, believed in you.”

“So he claimed. He also claimed he loved me. Fell head over heels, he said, even before our training days. Apparently he’d attended a few of my parents’ parties, although I didn’t remember him. I wasn’t ready to hear any of it, certainly not his declaration of love. I’d given my heart fully to Heinz. But I wasn’t impractical. I knew I could stay in France. After Heinz’s death, I slipped into a depression. I couldn’t muster up the energy to act, which meant my fate was in Tony’s hands. We escaped the country on foot, as it wasn’t safe to show my passport. We hiked over the mountains to Spain. A miserable trek. It rained. It snowed. I’ve managed to block out my worst memories of those days. We rode part of the way in a stock truck, afraid to make a noise. In those days there were spies everywhere. American, German, French, Bulgarian—and even some Japanese. It was truly a miracle we got out alive.”

“Gram, don’t cry anymore. You did get out. Isn’t it time to talk about the good stuff? The part where you realized a good man loved you, and you ended up marrying him?”

“Oh, Quinn. I was ready to run home to my parents. Tony revealed his identity and told me to shape up. I’d taken an oath not to tell a soul about my time with the OSS. He ordered me to destroy any communication I’d had with Heinz, as well as my passport verifying travel to and from Colmar. He didn’t know I’d kept these photographs. They were all I had left of Heinz.”

She wiped away another tear. “Tony promised to fix my record when he returned to Washington to train a new group of agents. He said I could continue working in Washington at an agency desk job. By then, I’d had enough of the OSS. I wanted to quit and saw no reason to shred my passport or the letters. I hadn’t passed any vital information to Heinz. While I admired Kestrel’s skill and expertise, and appreciated his help, I didn’t love him and I told him so. We had a huge fight. He left my D.C. apartment in a huff, with me insisting I’d dissolve my association with the agency as soon as I could. Honorably. Which wasn’t easy, I learned. Rumors about me had already made their way to the Joint Chiefs. I was interrogated up one side and down the other by no-name operatives and assorted military officers. I was glad I’d saved my correspondence with Heinz, should it come to proving that I, at least, wasn’t a double agent. Not that I ever believed Heinz was…Thank goodness it didn’t go that far. Instead, I was put on paid leave. One day I received a letter signed by the agency chief, giving me a release date three days out, plus the amount of my last paycheck.”

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