The Way We Wed

She turned within his arms, dug out her key and unlocked her door. “I should say good night.”

He’d hit a nerve, Jeff decided. Something else to delve into another day. The past clings to all of us, he knew.

“Not without a good-night kiss,” he said, turning her back, placing her arms on his shoulders and taking her mouth.

If her mouth had cooled, it took but moments for it to heat up again beneath his seeking lips. Jeff molded her small frame to his with his big hands at her back. He felt his senses surge at the feel of that soft female body against his. He wanted nothing more than to shove open her door, follow her inside and slowly strip off all her clothes before moving to her big double bed.

But alas, SPEAR frowned on its agents cohabiting openly. So, although it cost him, he reluctantly stepped back. “See you tomorrow?” he asked, his voice husky.

She nodded vaguely and drifted inside.

Jeff heard the lock click, then turned to enter his own room across the hall. An ice-cold shower might be in order, he decided.

Chapter 3

Jeff awoke with a start, surprised he’d fallen asleep at all. Feeling stiff, he unfastened his seat belt and got up, glancing around the first-class section of the plane. The lights were on dim and the other five passengers all appeared to be in dreamland. The man across the aisle was still snoring, but not as loudly. A mother and daughter in the last row were cuddled together, snoozing. And a young couple who appeared to be newlyweds snuggled under a blanket, the woman’s head on her companion’s shoulder.

Stretching his cramped muscles, Jeff’s gaze stayed on the young couple, envying their togetherness. He and Tish had had so little time together to just be with one another. So many things had interfered—his hospital duties, SPEAR obligations, everyday things that kept them apart. Small wonder their relationship had been rocky.

Walking to the front, Jeff nodded to the flight attendant and went into the small compact lavatory. He splashed cold water on his face then dried off with a paper towel. He debated about shaving, then decided that could wait. Checking his watch, he saw they had two more hours left before landing. Impatience ate at him, but there was nothing he could do to hurry things along.

Resuming his seat, he glanced out the window and saw it was still dark out. A man of action, he’d always hated waiting. Not knowing how Tish was doing added to his unease. He picked up the phone to call the hospital again, then tucked it away, deciding that he didn’t want to irritate the staff by calling too frequently.

Finally settling back, he let his mind roam, remembering those early weeks with Tish, hoping the memory of their good times would sustain him during this time of uncertainty….

From that first kiss in the barn that summer evening at the Red Rock Ranch, Jeff had known Tish was the woman for him. He didn’t know how he knew; he simply did. Not a day since had he questioned that fact. He’d simply accepted it. She was the one.

But he’d known better than to let her see the depth of his feelings. She was skittish, wary, cautious in everything she said to him, in her reactions to him. He’d have to go slowly, he told himself. But the need to make her his had burned within him, coloring every aspect of their budding relationship. It had taken all of his control to rein in his needs and put hers first.

The morning after their first kiss in the barn, he awakened early. He was anxious for the day to begin, so he could see her, touch her, talk with her. Only when he’d gone down to breakfast, even though it was not yet seven, Slim was the only one in the dining room.

Sipping his coffee, Jeff sat down. “Where is everyone this morning?” he asked, trying to be casual.

“They left early, a couple of our agents going with a few hands to round up strays that wandered away from the herd. I spotted several from the plane yesterday when I went up, so I asked for volunteers.” Slim dipped the last of his toast into the remaining egg yolk and popped it into his mouth.

Jeff thought that over, kicking himself mentally for not rising earlier. “Who were the agents?” he asked, fully expecting Tish to be among them. Something had been mentioned about the ride last night at dinner, but he hadn’t paid much attention.

“Mmm, let’s see. John and Tanya are the only agents. Oh, and Tish. They were going with Derek, Jim and Pete, the cowhands familiar with that range. Kind of a rugged area.” Slim used his napkin to wipe along the edges of his mustache.

Why hadn’t Tish mentioned this trip to him last night? Jeff wondered. Had she decided they needed a little distance after their heated encounter? Or had the trip slipped her mind? She might also have gone on impulse. He drank more coffee, studying Slim and wondering how to find out what he wanted to know without arousing too much suspicion.

“Just for the day, you mean?” Jeff asked.

Slim finished his coffee before answering. “Three or four days, I’d imagine. It would take six or seven hours of riding just to reach the winter range.” His weathered brow furrowed as he looked at Jeff. “Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “Just curious. Not much going on here.” He glanced out the window, saw it was a sunny day, though probably cool. “Too nice to stay indoors, eh?”

Behind his hand cupping his mouth, Slim grinned. “I can tell you how to get where they’re going. If you’re interested, that is.”

Jeff tried to look as if the idea had just occurred to him. “Well, if you think they’ll need another hand.”

“Couldn’t hurt. You can carry a message to Justin. He’s the cowboy who’s been up there three weeks now. I just got a call from his wife and you can tell him her checkup went well, baby’s fine and definitely not due for another three weeks. He’ll be relieved next week and home in plenty of time for the birthing.”

Jeff knew that only one cowhand was assigned to keep watch on the herd in the mountainous region and that the men took turns on a rotating basis, usually four weeks at a time. “Will do.” Delivering the message would give him an excuse for showing up.

Slim took a small notebook out of his pocket and began drawing a map with a stubby pencil. “Good. I know he’s worried about that baby. It’s his first.” Slim labeled several trails. “This is the route to the winter pasture. Won’t be long and we’ll be herding them back down here. Another couple weeks. You’ll recall the passage once you start out ’cause landmarks haven’t changed all that much since you spent time here.” He tore out the sheet and handed it to Jeff. “Go get her, son.”

He should have known he couldn’t hide anything from Slim. Looking sheepish, Jeff took the map and stuffed it in his shirt pocket.

“Stop in the kitchen and have Elsa fix you up some food. And be sure to take your bedroll and a blanket. Gets mighty cold up there at night.”

“Thanks again, Slim.”

The way to the winter range was scenic at the beginning, Jeff thought as he rode Domino along the riverbed through desert country with plenty of browse and grass. But the way soon became treacherous with the trail narrowing to a path only a surefooted horse could follow. Domino was that kind of stallion, having lived all his life on Red Rock so he was familiar with every trail, bramble and bush.

Riding him, Jeff felt secure that the horse knew the way even if he hadn’t had Slim’s map. He hurried the big stallion as best he could on the rugged terrain, well aware that the others had a two-hour head start on him. Then again, they probably hadn’t been hard riding since there was no rush to reach the high country. The hands might even have taken off ahead, letting the three agents follow at their leisure. At least, Jeff hoped that was the case so he could catch up with them more easily.

Leaving the creek bed, he saw fresh mountain lion tracks and hoped the big cat was off somewhere sleeping since they did most of their prowling at night. Nevertheless, his rifle was securely in place by his saddlebags. The sky was a deep blue with hardly a cloud visible and there was a nip to the morning air. The temperature had been about fifty at the ranch but had cooled as he climbed.

On open land at last, he urged Domino to speed up as he passed a butte with a huge pile of rocks on top. Red rocks which gave the area and the ranch its name, the soil rich with minerals. The wind had picked up and had Jeff securing his hat on his head. He stopped after another hour to let the stallion have a drink from a creek and to rest a bit while he chewed on some beef jerky, having missed breakfast in his haste to get going. Perhaps it was his imagination, but Jeff could swear he heard the muted bawling of calves not far ahead, the sound carried on the wind. He drank some water, then reined the big horse around and set off again.

They rode another hour, Jeff pacing the stallion so as not to wear him out too soon. Finally, Domino snorted and bobbed his big head as he sniffed the air.

“What do you smell, boy?” Jeff asked, stroking his long neck. “I’ll bet there are mares up ahead.” With his knees, he urged Domino on.

Another half an hour and the whinny of horses could be heard clearly, for the mares had picked up the stallion’s scent. The gentle mooing of cattle drifted to Jeff as well. Even though he’d been climbing steadily, the sun had warmed the temperature to near sixty, he estimated. Checking Slim’s map, he saw that he was close.

A few minutes later, he rounded a bend and saw three horses tethered to a juniper tree that provided spotty shade for the agents sprawled beneath having their lunch. John Winters was the first to look up.

“Hey, Jeff. I didn’t know you were joining us.” Seated on the ground alongside his hat, John squinted up as Jeff swung down off Domino.

“Last minute decision,” Jeff said, walking Domino over to a second tree upwind from the mares and tying him to a strong limb.

Walking toward the three of them, he greeted Tanya and then looked over at Tish. She was studying him, trying to figure out his real motive in following them here, he was certain. He sat down opposite her and took an apple out of his jacket pocket. “Slim wanted me to deliver a message to Justin about his wife.”

“Mmm-hmm,” John said, a knowing grin on his face. He gathered their trash and moved toward his horse, stuffing crumpled paper into his saddlebag. “We’re about ready to head out. You need to rest awhile?” he asked Jeff.

Chewing on his apple, Jeff shook his head. “No, I’m all set.” He watched Tanya stroll over to her mare before turning to Tish. “How are you this morning?”

“Why are you here?” she asked so softly he had to bend closer to catch her words. “And don’t give me that nonsense about a message for Justin.”

Feigning indignation, Jeff gave her a wide-eyed stare. “Why else?”

Her shrewd dark eyes stayed on his. “You’re not as innocent as you pretend. I think you have ulterior motives, a hidden agenda.”

He splayed a hand over his heart. “You wound me.” But his eyes danced mischievously.

Shaking her head, she rose. “You’re too much, Jeff Kirby.”

He was up and beside her in the next heartbeat. “Would you believe the truth,” he whispered, “that four or five days without you around was more than I could handle?”

Stepping back, she again shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“You’re a hard sell, Tish Buckner,” he commented.

“You have no idea how hard,” she answered, then turned to walk toward Belladonna.

Untying Domino, Jeff smiled to himself. And she had no idea how persistent he could be.

By the time they got to the winter grazing pasture where the cowboys had made camp, the sun was low in the sky. Pete and Derek had already found and rescued a calf stuck in a narrow canyon but Jim wasn’t back yet from scouring the area. The new arrivals took care of their horses first before asking the seasoned hands what they could do to help.

“We’ll split up tomorrow morning,” Pete said, taking charge as the most experienced, “two by two, each taking a section and roping any lost calves or cows, bringing them back to the herd. Justin’s down the canyon aways, heading here. If someone would like to get dinner going, I’m sure Justin would appreciate something other than jerky and beans.”

Derek studied the sky. “I don’t think we have to pitch tents tonight. Doesn’t look like we’ll have rain anytime soon.” He angled his chin toward a grassy shaded area. “You can set your bedrolls over there.”

They all worked well together, and in no time, they had wood gathered and a fire going. Jeff positioned the big black pot over the simmering blaze as the two women spooned in precooked stew that Elsa had packed for them. Tanya dug out tin plates and utensils while Tish cut thick slices of fresh brown bread that was one of Elsa’s specialties.

If Tish noticed that Jeff spread his bedroll next to hers, she didn’t let on. Soon Jim returned from his search-and-rescue effort empty-handed and Justin arrived from doing a perimeter check, glad for the company. And pleased to meet Jeff who’d just informed him that his wife was doing well.

“Thanks,” he said, his perpetually sunburned face creasing in a smile. His fair skin and blond head didn’t fare well with constant exposure to the sun, even wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

“Did your wife have an ultrasound?” Jeff asked as they all sat down around the campfire. “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

“Nah, she didn’t want to. Me, I’d like to know, but Marianne said it’s more fun if you’re surprised.” Justin tossed his cigarette butt into the fire. “Really though, I don’t care as long as the baby’s healthy and Marianne’s okay.”

“Medicine’s come a long way,” Jeff pointed out. “Problems in childbirth are less common these days.”

“Good, because I’d like to have lots more. Maybe four more. Five sons, my own basketball team.” He grinned. “I haven’t mentioned this to Marianne yet.”

“You might want to hold off on that,” Tanya told him, “at least until she’s recovered from this first one.”

“Ah, but what if you have five girls?” Tish teased him. “Five prom dresses, five weddings to put on.”

“Oh, save me,” Justin said, laughing. He saw the stew was hot enough and was the first to ladle a healthy portion onto his plate. “Man, you guys don’t know how great this smells. Three weeks up here alone with cows, eating dried fruit, beans and jerky, and you begin to fantasize. Not about women, about a big steak with all the trimmings.”

“He’s been up here too long,” Jim commented and everyone laughed.

Listening to the ebb and flow of conversation, Jeff sat on the edge of the circle. He wasn’t one of the cowhands and as someone still fairly inactive in SPEAR even though he was a part of the team, he felt like he didn’t quite belong to either group. It had often been like that for him; growing up in a household where drunken behavior was the norm, he hadn’t felt as if he belonged to a real family unit. All he’d dreamed about was escaping. Which he had as soon as he’d been old enough.

Living on the streets, he never felt safe, either, never confided in others, never made friends because getting close to someone was inviting trouble. Runaways could turn on you for a slice of bread when they were starving, or a dollar when they needed cheap wine or a fix. He’d never been part of a real family, or a group of like individuals until East had taken him home. Even after that, it had taken Jeff months, years to trust, to relax, to feel safe with anyone except East.

Now, here with his fellow agents and experienced men who worked the herd at Red Rock, he felt a kinship, but still he didn’t feel as if he were a part of either specialized group. Listening to the way the men joked with one another with Tanya joining in, Jeff wondered if he would ever belong.

Finishing his plate, he glanced at Tish and saw that she, too, seemed on the perimeter of the group, observing and listening but seldom joining in. He wondered if their apartness was something they had in common, or if he was reading something into her behavior that wasn’t there. Maybe she was just shy or perhaps self-conscious because he was there and last night they’d shared a couple of powerful kisses. For him, a life-altering happening. But for her, had it been just one of those things?

He needed to find out, which was one reason he’d followed her up into the red rock high country.

Everyone helped to tidy up, no chauvinism here. After all, the women helped with the cattle so it was only fitting that the men help with food preparation and clean up. There was no pampering on ranches or with ranch chores.

After dinner, Justin talked Pete and John into a card game. Jim joined them while Tanya walked downstream to bathe, though she stayed within sight of the campfire. Tish sat near the fire, gazing off into space, seemingly lost in thought. Jeff was feeling pensive and perhaps a little embarrassed about racing up the mountain after a woman. Especially since that woman had probably left in the first place because she needed some space, some time to think about this sudden overpowering attraction.

So he lit one of the small cigars he rarely smoked and wandered upstream in the opposite direction from where Tanya went. If Tish needed to be alone, he’d let her be.

There was a moon out, not quite full but lending a good deal of light that reflected on the shimmering water as he walked. The small stream gurgled and dribbled over rocks small and large, the sound pleasant and appealing. Thinking of his hospital work in California and even East’s place on Condor Mountain, this red rock country was like being in another world. One that was peaceful, where the needs of animals superseded those of man. Mindful of the possibility of wild animals in the area, he knew it was also a dangerous place, but he didn’t feel threatened. In fact, he felt safe.

Maybe feeling safe had more to do with the people a person was with rather than the environment, Jeff decided.

He drew on the slim cigar, enjoying the pungent taste in his mouth. Reaching a fairly smooth rock, he sat down facing the stream and gazed up at the stars. He supposed there were just as many stars in the night sky over a busy metropolitan city as there were out here, yet there seemed more in the wilderness. An illusion probably.

He’d always thought that once he finished working for SPEAR, he’d like to settle near the sea. Yet this mountainous region held almost as much appeal. Perhaps he could find a place that offered both. Provided he lived to see that day.

Jeff wasn’t a melodramatic man or a pessimist. He was just a realist. Someone aware of the danger yet knowing that a man had to do what he had to do in order to look at himself each morning in his shaving mirror and not be disgusted with what he saw.

“A dollar for your thoughts,” a soft voice behind him said. When Jeff turned, he saw Tish and smiled. “I figure a penny, with inflation, should be at least a dollar by now.”

He moved over, making room for her on the rock. “My thoughts are kind of scattered tonight. How about yours?”

She sat down, her hip grazing his out of necessity since the space was limited. “I’m just taking in the beauty of nature out here. When you spend most of your life in an urban setting, you don’t realize how peaceful, how quiet and lovely a desolate area like this can be.”

The mooing of a cow broke into their thoughts just then as the scent of the big animals drifted upstream. “I’ve never seen so many cattle at one time in my entire life,” Tish commented. She’d walked out among them for a while after they’d first arrived. “Some of them have such sweet faces. I’ll never look at a hamburger the same again.”

He smiled at her. “I hear they make lousy house pets.”

“Oh, silly, I didn’t mean that. But they have such sad eyes.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever visited the Chicago slaughter houses.”

“No! And I don’t ever want to.”

“Still, you’re not a vegetarian?” He’d seen her eat her fair share of the beef stew tonight.

“No, I’m a head-in-the-sand carnivore who doesn’t want to think about those poor animals losing their lives so we can enjoy a meal.”

Jeff shrugged. “Survival of the fittest.” He glanced up toward an outcropping of rocks. “Take the mountain lion. He harbors no such thoughts. He’d pounce down on us, we’d be dinner for him and he wouldn’t give his conscience a second thought.”

Nervously, she glanced over her shoulder. “There really are mountain lions up here?”

“Could be. This is their territory and man is invading it. I suppose that’s why he feels its his right to devour us if the opportunity presents itself.” Jeff dropped his cigar and ground it out with his booted foot.

Tish got up. “Maybe we should go back with the others closer to the fire.”

He took her hand, pulled her effortlessly onto his lap, which had been his motive in bringing up the mountain lion in the first place. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”

In the pale moonlight, she studied his face. “Safe is a relative term.”

“Yes, well, I won’t devour you, but I might nibble a little around the edges.” And he bent to do just that along the silken line of her throat. He felt a shiver take her and wondered if it was from the chilly night air or his ministrations. “Mmm, you taste almost as good as you smell.”

She was silent, but she shifted slightly to give him better access.

Emboldened by the fact that she’d sought him out while the others were occupied, he nuzzled more, then with two fingers on her chin, he turned her face toward his and captured her mouth. The kiss was light, gentle, yet arousing. Her lips played with his, teasing, tempting. Her tongue darted into his mouth, then withdrew playfully. Jeff wasn’t certain how much more of this he could easily handle with her snug on his lap.

Needing to distract himself, he eased back and ran his fingers through her hair as it curled around her ear. “You have beautiful hair, did you know that?”

Tish frowned. “No. It’s just brown hair. Nothing special.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’d always thought people with brown hair got short shrift, too. Blondes are described in all manner of flattering terms, fussed over and envied. Those with black hair are described as ebony or jet or raven. But brown hair, I thought, was just, well, brown.”

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