His Little Christmas Miracle

Jess shoved her hands into her pockets and stood still as she took in her surroundings. The mountain village was still very familiar but it was like an echo of a memory from a lifetime ago. A very different lifetime from the one she was living now. She took a deep breath as she tried to quell her nerves.

When she had seen the advertisement for the position of clinic nurse at the Moose River Medical Centre it had seemed like a sign and she’d wondered why she hadn’t thought of it sooner. It had seemed like the perfect opportunity to start living the life she wanted but that didn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach.

It’ll be fine, she told herself as she tried to get the butterflies to settle, once we adjust.

In the dark of the evening the mountain resort looked exactly like it always had. Like a fairy-tale village. The streets had been cleared of the early season snow and it lay piled in small drifts by the footpaths. Light dotted the hillside, glowing yellow as it spilled from the windows of the hotels and lodges. She could smell wood smoke and pine needles. The fragrance of winter. Of Christmas. Of Lucas.

She’d have to get over that. She couldn’t afford to remember him every few minutes now that she was back here. That wasn’t what this move was about.

In a childhood marked by tragedy and, at times, fear and loneliness, Moose River had been one of the two places where she’d been truly happy, the only place in the end, and the only place where she’d been free. She had returned now, hoping to rediscover that feeling again. And while she couldn’t deny that Moose River was also full of bittersweet memories, she hoped it could still weave its magic for her.

She could hear the bus wheezing and shuddering behind her, complaining as the warmth from its air-conditioning escaped into the cold mountain air. It was chilly but at least it wasn’t raining. She was so sick of rain. While Vancouver winters were generally milder than in other Canadian cities there was a trade-off and that was rain. While she was glad she didn’t have to shovel snow out of her driveway every morning, she was tired of the wet.

Jess could hear laughter and music. The sound floated across to the car park from the buildings around her, filling the still night air. She could hear the drone of the snow-making machines on the mountain and she could see the lights of the graders as they went about their night-time business, grooming the trails. She glanced around her, looking to see what had changed and what had stayed the same in the seven years since she had last been here. The iconic five-star Moose River Hotel still had pride of place on the hill overlooking the village but there were several new buildings as well, including a stunning new hotel that stood at the opposite end of Main Street from the bus depot.

The new hotel was perched on the eastern edge of the plaza where Main Street came to an end at the ice-skating rink. There had been a building there before, smaller and older. Jess couldn’t recall exactly what it had been but this modern replacement looked perfect. The hotel was too far away for her to be able to read the sign, although she could see the tiny figures of skaters gliding around the rink, twirling under the lights as snow began to fall.

She lifted her face to the sky. Snowflakes fell on her cheeks and eyelashes, melting as soon as they touched the warmth of her skin. She stuck out her tongue, just like she’d done as a child, and caught the flakes, feeling them immediately turn to water.

But she wasn’t a child any more. She was twenty-four years old, almost twenty-five. Old enough to have learned that life was not a fairy tale. She didn’t want a fairy-tale ending; she didn’t believe in those any more but surely it wasn’t too late to find happiness? She refused to believe that wasn’t possible.

Seven years ago she’d had the world at her feet. She’d been young and full of expectation, anticipation and excitement. Anything had seemed possible in that winter. In the winter that she’d met Lucas. In the winter that she’d fallen in love.

Sometimes it seemed like yesterday. At other times a lifetime ago. On occasions it even seemed like it was someone else’s story but she knew it was hers. She was reminded of that every day. But as hard as it had been she wasn’t sure that she would do anything differently if she had her time again.

She could still remember the first moment she had laid eyes on him. It was less than two hundred metres from where she now stood. She’d been seventeen years old, young and pretty, shy but with the self-assurance that a privileged lifestyle gave to teenagers. In her mind her future had already been mapped out—surely it would be one of happiness, wealth, prosperity and pleasure. That was what she and her friends, all of whom came from wealthy families, had been used to and they’d had no reason to think things would change. She’d been so naive.

At seventeen she’d had no clue about real life. She’d been happy with her dreams. Her biggest problem had been having parents who’d loved her and wanted to protect her from the world, and her biggest dream had been to experience the world she hadn’t been allowed to taste.

To her, Lucas had represented freedom. He’d been her chance to experience the world but the freedom she’d tasted had been short-lived. And the real world was a lot tougher than she’d anticipated. Reality had slapped her in the face big time and once she’d been out in that world she’d found there had been no turning back.

Reality was a bitch and it had certainly killed her naivety. She’d grown up awfully quickly and her clueless teenage years were a long way behind her now.

She was still standing in the car park, mentally reminiscing about that winter, when an SUV pulled up in front of her at a right angle to the bus. The driver put down his window. ‘Jess? Jess Johnson?’ he said.

Jess shook her head, clearing the cobwebs from her mind. ‘Sorry,’ the driver said, misinterpreting the shake of her head. ‘I’m looking for a Jess Johnson.’

‘That’s me.’

The driver climbed out of the car. ‘I’m Cameron Baker,’ he introduced himself as he shook Jess’s hand. Cameron and his wife, Ellen, owned the Moose River Medical Centre. He was Jess’s new boss. ‘Let’s get your gear loaded up. Is this everything?’

Jess looked down at her feet. The bus driver had unloaded her belongings. Three suitcases and half a dozen boxes were piled beside her. All the necessities for two lives.

‘That’s it,’ she replied. ‘I’ll just get Lily.’

She climbed back into the bus to rouse her sleeping daughter.

She scooped Lily up and carried her from the bus. She was keen to introduce her to Moose River but that would have to wait until tomorrow.

This was Lily’s first visit to the mountain resort. Jess had avoided bringing Lily here before now. She’d made countless excuses, telling herself Lily was too young to appreciate it, but she knew that was a lie. Jess had been skiing since she was four and Lily was now six and there were plenty of other activities here to keep young children entertained for days. Lack of money had been another excuse and even though Jess hadn’t been able to afford to bring her that was still only part of the truth. The reality was that Jess hadn’t wanted to return. She hadn’t wanted to face the past. She’d thought the memories might be too painful. But it was time to give Lily a sense of where she had come from. It was time to come back.

Cameron loaded their bags and Jess climbed into the back of the vehicle, cradling a sleepy Lily in her arms as he drove them the short distance to their accommodation. The job came with a furnished apartment, which had been one of a number of things that had attracted Jess to the position, but she hadn’t thought to enquire about any specifics, she’d just been relieved to know it had been organised for her and she was stunned when Cameron pulled to a stop in front of the Moose River staff apartments.

She picked Lily up again—fortunately Lily was small for her age and Jess could still manage to carry her—and followed Cameron inside the building, counting off the apartment numbers as they walked down the corridor. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Cameron’s steps started to slow and Jess held her breath. It couldn’t be. Not the same apartment.

‘This is you. Number sixteen.’

She let out her breath as Cameron parked the luggage trolley, loaded with boxes and bags, and unlocked the door. There’d been a brief moment when she’d thought she might be staying in apartment fifteen but she might just be able to handle being one apartment away from her past.

She carried Lily inside and put her on the bed.

‘I’m sorry, they were supposed to split the bed and make up two singles,’ Cameron apologised when he saw the bedding configuration.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jess replied. ‘I’ll fix it tomorrow.’ She couldn’t be bothered now. She had enough to think about without fussing about the bed. She and Lily could manage for the night.

‘Ellen has left some basic supplies for you in the fridge. She promised me it would be enough to get you through breakfast in the morning,’ Cameron said, as he brought in the rest of Jess’s luggage.

‘That’s great, thank you.’

‘I’ll let you get settled, then, and we’ll see you at the clinic at eleven tomorrow to introduce you to everyone and give you an orientation.’

Jess nodded but she was having trouble focusing. She was restless. There were so many memories. Too many. More than she’d expected. Thank goodness Lily was dozing as that gave her a chance to shuffle through the thoughts that were crowding her brain. She paced around the apartment once Cameron had gone but it was tiny and in no more than a few steps she’d covered the kitchen and the dining area and the lounge. All that was left was the bedroom and a combined bathroom-laundry. There wasn’t much to see and even less to do as she didn’t want to disturb Lily by beginning to unpack.

She crossed the living room, opened the balcony doors and stepped outside. Night had fallen but a full moon hung low in the sky and moonlight reflected off the snow and lit up the village as if it was broad daylight. To her left was the balcony of unit fifteen, the two-bedroom apartment that Lucas had stayed in seven years ago. The apartment where she and Kristie had gone on the night of the party was only metres away. She could see the exact spot where she’d been standing when Lucas had first kissed her.

He had been her first love. He had been her Prince Charming. She’d fallen hard and fast but when he’d kissed her that first time and she’d given him her heart she hadn’t known there would be no turning back.

Now, at twenty-four, she didn’t believe in Prince Charming any more.

CHAPTER TWO

‘MUMMY?’

The sound of Lily’s voice startled her. Jess was still on the balcony, standing with her fingers pressed against her lips as she recalled the first kiss she and Lucas had shared. She shivered as she realised she was freezing. She had no idea how long she’d been standing out there in the cold.

She didn’t have time for reminiscing. She had responsibilities.

Lily had wandered out of the bedroom and Jess could see her standing in the living room, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. She was sucking on her thumb and had her favourite toy, a soft, grey koala, tucked under one arm. With white-blonde hair and a heart-shaped face she was the spitting image of Jess, just as Jess was the image of her own mother.

‘I’m hungry,’ Lily said, as Jess came in from the balcony and closed the doors and curtains behind her.

‘You are?’ She was surprised. Lily wasn’t often hungry. She was a fussy eater and didn’t have a good appetite and Jess often struggled to find food that appealed to her daughter, although fortunately she would eat her vegetables.

‘Let’s see what we’ve got.’ Jess opened the fridge, hoping Cameron had been right when he’d said that his wife had left some basics for them. She could see bread, milk, eggs, cheese and jam.

‘How about toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner?’ she said. ‘Or eggs and soldier toast?’

‘Eggs and soldier toast.’

Jess put the eggs on to boil and then found Lily’s pyjamas. By the time she was changed the eggs were done. Lily managed to finish the eggs and one soldier. Jess slathered the remaining soldier toasts with jam and polished them off herself.

Lily was fast asleep within minutes of climbing back into bed, but even though Jess was exhausted she found she couldn’t get comfortable. Lily, who was a restless sleeper at the best of times, was tossing and turning in the bed beside her and disturbing her even further. She would have to split the bed apart tomorrow; she couldn’t stand another night like this.

She got up and put the kettle on, hoping for the hundredth time that she’d made the right decision in moving to Moose River.

It seemed surreal to think that returning to the place where things had started to go wrong had been the best solution, but she’d felt she hadn’t had much choice. She’d needed a job with regular hours and this one had the added bonus of accommodation, which meant she could be home with Lily before and after school and she wouldn’t need to leave Lily with a childminder or take extra shifts to cover the rent or babysitting expenses. She also hoped that living in Moose River would give Lily the opportunity to have the childhood she herself had missed out on. A childhood free from worry, a childhood of fun and experiences.

She carried her decaf coffee over to the balcony doors. She drew back the curtains and rested her head on the glass as she gazed out at the moonlit night and let the memories flood back. Of course they were all about Lucas. She couldn’t seem to keep thoughts of him out of her head. She hadn’t expected Moose River to stir her memory quite so much.

What would he be looking at right now? Where would he be?

Probably living at Bondi Beach, running a chain of organic cafés with his gorgeous bikini-model wife, she thought. They would have three blue-eyed children and together his family would look like an advertisement for the wonders of fresh air and exercise and healthy living.

But maybe life hadn’t been so kind to him. Why should it have been? Why should he be glowing with health and happiness?

Perhaps he was working in a hotel restaurant in the Swiss Alps and had grown fat from over-indulging in cheese and chocolate. He could be overweight with a receding hairline. Would that make her feel better?

What was it she wanted to feel better about? she wondered. It didn’t matter where Lucas was or what he was doing. That was history. She’d woken up to herself in the intervening years. Woken up to real life. And he wasn’t part of that life. He was fantasy, not reality. Not her reality anyway.

Jess shook herself. She needed to get a grip. Her situation was entirely of her own choosing and she wouldn’t change it for anything, not if it meant losing Lily.

She sighed as she finished her coffee. Her father had been right. Lucas hadn’t been her Prince Charming and he wasn’t ever coming to rescue her. Wherever he had ended up, she imagined it was far from here.

Their first fortnight in Moose River went smoothly. Lily settled in well at her new school. She was thriving and Jess was thrilled. She loved the after-school ski lessons and Jess was looking forward to getting out on the slopes with her this weekend and seeing how much she’d improved in just ten days. It was amazing how quickly children picked up the basics.

She wondered about Lily’s fearless attitude. If Lily wanted something she went after it, so different from Jess’s reticence. Was that nature or nurture?

Jess had vowed to give Lily freedom—freedom to make her own friends and experience a childhood where she was free to test the boundaries without constant supervision or rules. A childhood without the constant underlying sense that things could, would and did go wrong and where everything had to be micromanaged.

Moose River was, so far, proving to be the perfect place for Lily to have a relaxed childhood and Jess was beginning to feel like she’d made a good decision. Lily had made friends quickly and her new best friend was Annabel, whose parents owned the patisserie next to their apartment building. By the second week the girls had a routine where Lily would go home with Annabel after ski school and have a hot chocolate at the bakery while they waited for Jess to finish work. Jess had been nervous about this at first but she’d reminded herself that this was a benefit of moving to a small community. She’d wanted that sense of belonging. That sense that people would look out for each other. She wanted somewhere where she and Lily would fit in.

Initially she’d felt like they were taking advantage of Annabel’s mother but Fleur was adamant that it was no bother. Annabel had two older siblings and Fleur insisted that having Lily around was making life easier for everyone as Annabel was too busy to annoy the others. Jess hated asking for favours, she preferred to feel she could manage by herself even if she knew that wasn’t always the case, but she was grateful for Fleur’s assistance.

Her new job as a clinic nurse was going just as smoothly as Lily’s transition. Her role was easy. She helped with splints, dressings, immunisations and did general health checks—cholesterol, blood pressure and the like. It was routine nursing, nothing challenging, but that suited her. It was low stress and by the end of the two weeks she was feeling confident that coming here had been the right decision for her and Lily.

Not having to work weekends or take extra shifts to cover rent or child-care costs was paying dividends. She could be home with Lily in time for dinner and spend full, uninterrupted days with her over the weekends. It was heaven. Jess adored her daughter and she’d dreamt of being able to spend quality time with her. Just the two of them. It was something she hadn’t experienced much in her own childhood and she was determined that Lily would have that quality time with her. After all, they only had each other.

She checked her watch as she tidied her clinic room and got ready to go home. Kristie was coming up for the weekend—in fact, she should already be here. She was changing the sheet on the examination bed when Donna, the practice manager, burst into the room.

‘Jess, do you think you could possibly work a little later today? We’ve had a call from the new hotel, one of their guests is almost thirty-six weeks pregnant and she’s having contractions. It might just be Braxton-Hicks but they’d like someone to take a look and all the doctors are busy. Do you think you could go?’

‘Let me make some arrangements for Lily and then I’ll get over there,’ Jess said when Donna finally paused for breath. Jess was happy to go, provided she could sort Lily out. She rang Kristie as she swapped her shoes for boots and explained the situation as she grabbed her coat and the medical bag that Donna had given to her.

Thank God Kristie was in town, she thought as she rang Fleur to tell her of the change in plans. Of course, Fleur then offered to help too but Jess didn’t want to push the friendship at this early stage. She explained that Kristie would collect Lily and take her home. She could concentrate on the emergency now. It was always a balancing act, juggling parenting responsibilities with her work, but it seemed she might have the support network here that she’d lacked anywhere else.

Jess hurried the few blocks to Main Street. The five-star, boutique Moose River Crystal Lodge, where her patient was a guest, was the new hotel on the Plaza, the one she’d noticed on the night they’d arrived. She and Lily had walked past it several times since. It was hard to miss. It wasn’t huge or ostentatious but it was in a fabulous position, and she’d heard it was beautifully appointed inside.

In the late-afternoon light, the setting sun cast a glow onto the facade of the lodge, making its marble facade shine a pale silver. On the southern side of the main entrance was an elevated outdoor seating area, which would be the perfect spot for an afternoon drink on a sunny day; you could watch the activities in the plaza from the perfect vantage point.

A wide footpath connected the lodge to the plaza and in front of the hotel stood a very placid horse who was hitched to a smart red wooden sleigh. Lily had begged to go for a ride when they had walked past earlier in the week but Jess had fibbed and told her it was for hotel guests only because she doubted she could afford the treat. She had meant to find out how much it cost, thinking maybe it could be a Christmas surprise for Lily, but she had forgotten all about it until now.

She walked past the horse and sleigh and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that was so familiar to her as a single, working mother, struggling to make ends meet, but walking into the lobby just reinforced how much her life had changed from one of privilege to one much harder but she reminded herself it was of her own choosing.

The lobby was beautifully decorated in dark wood. Soft, caramel-hued leather couches were grouped around rich Persian rugs and enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the timber ceiling. It looked expensive and luxurious but welcoming. Although it was still four weeks until Christmas, festive red, green and silver decorations adorned the room and a wood fire warmed the restaurant where wide glass doors could open out onto the outside terrace. Jess tried not to gawk as she crossed the parquet floor. She’d seen plenty of fancy hotels but this one had a warmth and a charm about it that was rare. Maybe because it was small, but it felt more like an exclusive private ski lodge than a hotel.

She shrugged out of her coat as she approached the reception desk.

‘I’m Jess Johnson, from the Moose River Medical Centre. Someone called about a woman in labour?’

The young girl behind the desk nodded. ‘Yes, Mrs Bertillon. She’s in room three zero five on the third floor. I’ll just call the hotel manager to take you up.’

‘It’s okay, I’ll find it.’ Jess could see the elevators tucked into a short hallway alongside the desk. The hotel was small so she’d have no trouble finding the room. She didn’t want to waste time waiting.

She stabbed at the button for the elevator. The doors slid open and she stepped inside.

Jess found room 305 and knocked on the door. It swung open under her hand. There was a bathroom to her left with a wardrobe on the right, forming a short passage. Jess could see a small sofa positioned in front of a large picture window but that was it.

She called out a greeting. ‘Mrs Bertillon?’

‘Come in.’ The faceless voice sounded strong and Jess relaxed. That didn’t sound like a woman in labour.

A woman appeared at the end of the passage. She was a hotel employee judging by her uniform. ‘She’s through here.’ The same voice. This wasn’t Mrs. Bertillon. ‘I’m Margaret. I was keeping an eye on Aimee until you got here,’ she explained, and Jess could see the relief on her face. She’d obviously been waiting nervously for reinforcements. ‘I’ll wait outside now but you can call for me if there’s anything you need,’ she said, hurriedly abdicating responsibility.

Jess introduced herself to Aimee and got her medical history as she washed her hands and then wrapped the blood-pressure cuff around her patient’s left arm. This was her first pregnancy, Aimee told her, and she’d had no complications. Her blood pressure had been fine, no gestational diabetes, no heart problems. ‘I’ve had some back pain today and now these contractions but otherwise I’ve been fine.’

‘Sharp pain?’ asked Jess.

‘No. Dull,’ Aimee explained, ‘more like backache, I suppose. Ow …’

‘Is that a contraction now?’

Aimee nodded and Jess looked at her watch, timing the contraction. She could see the contraction ripple across the woman’s abdomen as the muscles tightened. This wasn’t Braxton-Hicks.

‘Your waters haven’t broken?’ she asked, and Aimee shook her head in reply.