Undercover Baby

“Except that she’s repulsed by my presence,” Cal ground out.

“She told me she’s afraid of you. That’s why I didn’t invite you to stay for the examination. It’s a natural reaction. She has to go on blind faith that you are her husband, that you two love each other and have been happily married. To her, you’re a complete stranger.

“I’m going to have her admitted overnight for observation. In the morning, if all her vital signs are stable, and another X ray doesn’t show any problems, I’ll let you take her home.

“For the time being, my advice for what it’s worth is to treat her like a sister rather than a wife. Slowly but surely allow friends and relatives to come around, but warn them not to upset her or act startled by her loss of memory. Always be supportive, friendly, tender, kind. Don’t overreact when she retreats. She’s only protecting herself. Don’t make physical advances.”

Cal shook his head. “I already did when I kissed her and she didn’t kiss me back.” The pain of her rejection had gone soul deep.

“A perfectly natural gesture on your part, but it explains her anxiety. Until her memory returns, she has to regain her trust of you. I’m afraid the burden is on your shoulders, Mr. Rawlins. However I want to assure you that I believe her condition is temporary. In time you’ll have her back as good as new.”

He turned to Roman. “We’ve had to report Baby Doe to the police, but perhaps your investigation will produce swifter results. Let us know, will you?”

“Of course. I’m hoping to have answers within a few hours.”

“Good. Then I’ll talk to both of you later. The hospital will keep me notified if there are changes in your wife’s condition. If you have any concerns at all, feel free to ask someone at the desk to phone me.”

“Thank you, Dr. Harkness.”

He smiled. “She’s a lovely woman. I can understand your fear. This is the time when the wedding vows start to take on a whole new meaning.”

Cal pondered the doctor’s words. He knew the other man was trying to commiserate, but could anyone understand a situation like this unless they had experienced it for themselves?

“You all right, Cal?”

The concern in Roman’s voice jerked him back to the present.

“No, but I’m going to have to be, aren’t I?”

The rhetorical question required no response. Roman shifted his weight. “After listening to Dr. Harkness, I think it would be better if I don’t see Diana until tomorrow or even the next day. One person at a time. It makes sense to me.

“What I want you to do is ask an attendant to bring her belongings out here. Tell them to make up any excuse they want so they won’t alarm her unduly. I might find a clue. It’s the first place I need to start. Then I’m going back to the office. Maybe she left some kind of clue there which I didn’t see at the time.

“We know she was on her way to work this morning and made no mention of tending anyone’s baby. So it’s my guess the baby was either placed in her car or—”

“Or placed on the doorstep at work!” Cal blurted. “If it had been on our doorstep or in our car when she left the garage, she would have run in the house to tell me.”

“Unless it was still kind of dark and she didn’t notice it on the back seat until she got to work.”

“That’s a possibility, except that she almost always locks the car doors. Someone would have had to force entry to even get in the garage.”

“Whatever, following this to its logical conclusion, if the baby looked yellow to her, she might have been so concerned, she didn’t think to call anyone. Instead she felt it was an emergency and immediately drove to the hospital figuring an ambulance couldn’t get there any faster. Obviously in her haste, she slipped and fell.”

“That’s it, Roman! That has to be the explanation.”

“As soon as you can, get me her things, and I mean everything, we should have answers before long.”

“I owe you for this, Roman.”

“Then we’re more than even. I can’t count the times you’ve come to my rescue, especially when I was working on Brittany’s case. You and Diana helped me keep my sanity before I made her my wife. Now it’s my turn to help you. I’ve never made it any secret that I love Diana. So do the other PI’s. She’s the best thing that ever happened to the agency. When the guys hear what happened, it’s going to come as a horrible shock, particularly to Brittany and Annabelle.”

“I know. Those three have grown as close as sistets.”

“I’ll inform everybody. You go back to Diana and let us handle the investigation.”

Cal put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Wait here just a minute. I’ll get someone to bring out her things.” He found an attendant nearby and told her what they needed from Diana’s cubicle.

“No problem. The doctor has just given orders to take her up to a private room on the fourth floor, 418 North. I’ll just tell her we’re going to load her stuff on a cart first.”

“Perfect.”

In short order the attendant came back with a large sack provided by the hospital containing Diana’s personal effects. Cal handed it over to Roman. “I hope you find something. For Diana’s own good, the sooner the mystery about the baby is cleared up, the better.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fast and thorough. I’m going out to her car for the box and blanket. One of the guys will be by later to drive the car back to your house. In the meantime, as soon as I discover anything, I’ll phone you on your cellular.”

Cal nodded. He couldn’t ask for more than that. Right now as he stared at Roman’s departing back, he realized his friend’s level-headed thinking was the only thing keeping him from going right over the edge.

CHAPTER TWO

“NURSE?”

“Yes, Mrs. Rawlins?”

“Could you call me Diana, please?”

“Of course. If you’ll call me Jane.”

“All right. Jane? I overheard Dr. Fair say my baby is four days old. I don’t understand why I’m not sore and bleeding after my delivery. Why hasn’t my milk come in yet?”

“That’s something to ask the doctor when be makes his rounds this evening. Don’t worry. The baby is being well taken care of in the nursery.”

“How soon can I see him?”

“He needs to stay under the lights until tomorrow, at least.”

“Then will you help me to go to the nursery so I can sit with him?”

“That’s against doctor’s orders, Diana. We’ve just settled you in your room. He left strict instructions for you to have rest and stay quiet. You want to get better, don’t you?

“Your husband has gone home to bring you some of your things. When he returns, you can talk to him about it. But if you can wait until this evening, Dr. Harkness will make his rounds. Perhaps he’ll allow you and your husband to go to the nursery for a peek. Everything depends on how you and the baby are feeling by then.”

“You don’t understand, Jane. I don’t remember him being my husband- All I want is my baby!”

“I know. But you want him to get better, too, don’t . you?”

“Of course.”

“Then try to be patient. I know it’s hard. After that nasty fall, you need to give yourself a chance to heal. I’d also like to see that temperature go down. Tell you what I’ll look in on you again in a little while.”

“Don’t go!”

The nurse walked over to the side of the bed. “What’s frightening you the most?”

Diana hid her face in her hands. “I don’t know. Everything.”

“Of course it is. If I couldn’t remember anything of my past life, I’d be frightened, too. But this is a temporary situation. You remember having the baby with you when you fell. That means your memory is returning. Just give it a little more time.”

She lifted her tear-drenched face. “That’s true, isn’t it? I remembered his name was Tyler.”

“That’s right. And you’ll start remembering more and more.”

“But that’s just it! I don’t remember anything else. Mr. Rawlins acts so hurt around me, I can hardly bear it.”

“Naturally he has been affected by your fall. He says everything was wonderful between you when you left for work this morning, and then he gets a call saying that you’re in the hospital and can’t remember what happened.”

“My work?” she blurted, scarcely listening to anything else. What kind of work?

This was another revelation she couldn’t fathom because she had no memory of it. Why would she be going to work when she’d just had a baby?

“That’s what I understand,” Jane informed her, “but I’ll leave that to your husband to explain. He should be back soon. I must say he loves you very much. It’s obvious to the staff that he would do anything for you.”

“I don’t want his solicitation.”

“Maybe not, but if you could put yourself in his place for a moment, you would understand-that he is as frightened as you are.”

“What does he have to be frightened about? He knows me.”

“That’s true, but he’s married to a woman who doesn’t know him. You’re treating him like you would anyone off the street because you can’t do anything else. How do you suppose you would feel if your positions were reversed and he wanted nothing to do with you?”

Diana bit her lip and turned her head toward the wall. The movement hurt the spot on the back of her head where they’d bandaged it. She didn’t like Jane reminding her that Cal Rawlins was in pain.

“If you want company, I’ll send one of the volunteers down to read to you or whatever you’d like.”

“No. I think I want to be alone now.”

“I’ll check on another couple of patients, then come back.”

“Thank you.” She fought more tears. “I’m sorry I’m behaving so abominably.”

“The fact that you can apologize for something that is beyond your control tells me that at heart you’re a very kind, sensitive woman who wouldn’t purposely hurt anyone.”

But am I? How does Jane know that?

When the door was shut, Diana reached under the bedsheet to feel her stomach. It was flat and smooth as silk. There were no pads covering a sore incision, which meant she hadn’t had a Cesarean section.

While she lay there, it came to her that she hadn’t given birth to her baby. She couldn’t have, or there would be all the normal signs!

Had she adopted it?

Nobody had said a word about anything.

Dear God. What was really going on?

For the first time since coming into the hospital, she was anxious to talk to Mr. Rawlins. He appeared to be the only person who could give her the answers she needed.

But would he be honest with her? How could she trust a perfect stranger?

Cal had barely entered his house to pack a bag for Diana when his cellular phone rang. He reached in his pocket and put it to his ear.

“Roman? I saw your name on the Caller ID.”

“I told you I’d touch base when I had something. You and I were right on.”

He gripped the phone tighter. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”

“I found a note tucked in the pocket of Diana’s dress, the one folded in the hospital bag. The paper has been ripped from a steno pad. The typed message reads,

“Dear Diana,

My boyfriend and I talked it over and decided we had to give up the baby because we can’t take care of it. A friend told me about you and how much you’ve been wanting one, so I brought him to your work. She says that you and your husband are the nicest people in the world, and that you would make the perfect parents. She also said you have a nursery all ready for a baby boy, and I want my boy to have the best of everything, so I’m giving him to you and nobody else. I’ve asked God if I’m doing the right thing and I feel really good inside about this. Please take care of him and love him. I wish we could, but we can’t. I’ll ask one more favor. Please take him to church so he can learn about God. I always liked church and I know that if you do that for him, the three of you will have a perfect life. Thank you very much. And one more favor. When he gets older, tell him we loved him too much to try and keep him.”

The simplicity, the poignancy, of the young mother’s words caused tears to prick Cal’s eyes. She loved her baby. It took amazing faith and courage to do what she did. What a hell of a situation. That note must have wrung Diana’s heart.

“Lord, Roman. This is incredible.”

“You can say that again. No doubt Diana’s compassionate instincts took right over. One look at the sick baby and she rushed him to the emergency room for treatment.”

Cal’s mind was leaping ahead. “If Diana were to read that note, it might help bring her memory back faster.”

“I agree. Before I can give it to you, I have to contact the police and let them know what we’ve learned. That note exonerates Diana from any wrongdoing and will be used as evidence.”

Roman had been reading Cal’s mind. Neither man had wanted to say anything earlier, but both knew the circumstances of Diana suddenly claiming a newborn as her own would look suspicious in the eyes of the law, regardless of her head injury.

Filled with relief that at least this much of the mystery was solved, Cal could concentrate fully on Diana. “I’m going back to the hospital in a few minutes and I’ll let them know what we’ve learned.”

“Good. In the meantime I’ll get started tracking down this young mother. She’s given us plenty of information, but I’m not so sure her boyfriend had anything to do with her decision. I wouldn’t be surprised if he disappeared on her a long time ago and she’s trying to save face. Nevertheless she’s friendly with someone who has a connection with the agency, otherwise she couldn’t have known about Diana and her desire for a baby.

“The girl is probably in her midteens. She may not have gone to a hospital for her delivery, but on the chance that she did, I’ll run a check on all the babies delivered within the last week. I’d like to find her. There are programs to help unwed mothers keep their babies.”

“What if she doesn’t turn up?”

“Then the baby will become a ward of the court and placed in foster care until it’s adopted.”

Adopted.

“What if—”

“I’m way ahead of you Cal. That’s why I want to conduct a thorough search for the baby’s mother. Some mothers regret their decision and come back for their babies, or cause trouble later on down the road.

“In this case the mother knows exactly where to come. The last thing an adoptive couple would want or need is to have the birth mother show up after the legal proceedings were concluded. But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves here, and I can’t guarantee anything.”

“I realize that. But if anyone can do the impossible, it’s you. Roman?” Cal’s voice was gruff with emotion. “I can’t thank you enough for being there.”

“Save it. Get back to your wife. We’ll stay in touch.”

“Right.”

A few minutes later Cal drove to the hospital with some clothes and personal articles for Diana, including their wedding photo album and another scrapbook. Hoping to jog her memory, he also brought the novel she’d been reading. When he saw that the mail had been delivered, he took that along, too, bills and all. The latest issue of Detective Inc, had come. She always went for that magazine first because she wanted to keep up to date and be the best assistant possible to Roman.

Enroute to the hospital Cal made another call to his private secretary, Mrs. West. After updating her on Diana’s condition, he informed her that he would be out of the office for several days. If something came up she couldn’t handle, she could reach him on his cellular.

With that taken care of, he pulled into the car park and dashed inside the hospital, praying that Diana had started to remember something else besides the baby. That she remembered him.

His first instinct was to open the door to her room and go in unannounced. But the doctor had cautioned him to treat her like a sister, so he knocked.

“Yes?”

“Diana? It’s Cal. Is it all right if I come in?”

“Give me a minute, please.”

The old Diana wouldn’t have needed a knock. She would never have kept him waiting. His Diana of six hours ago would have welcomed him with open arms, no matter her condition.

His jaw hardened because he realized the miracle he’d been waiting for hadn’t happened yet.

“Of course. Take all the time you need.”

It seemed an eternity before she said, “You can come in now.”

Cal entered her room and closed the door behind him. He felt like an intruder.

Dear God. She was his wife. How was he going to handle being around her and not touching her, holding her?

He still couldn’t fathom that any of this had happened—that she was sitting primly in the hospital bed, the covers up to her chin, looking fragile and so damn nervous of him he felt like someone had just slugged him in the midsection.

“I brought you several changes of clothes and a few things to read.”

Her meek little thank-you sparked another surge of adrenaline. When she didn’t extend her hands, he left the things he’d brought on her bedside table.

Needing to channel his negative energy, he hung up a couple of items in the closet, then put the rest of her clothes away in the drawers.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, pulling up a chair to the side of her bed.

“I still don’t remember anything, if that’s what you’re asking.” She said this with her head lowered. He had the idea she couldn’t stand to look at him. “I’m sorry if that brings you pain.”

Her blunt speaking took his breath. Diana had always been an honest person, but normally she was more gentle in her approach. The doctor had told him to treat her like a family member, but he’d never had a sister or brother and couldn’t pretend something he didn’t feel. He had a premonition that under these precarious circumstances, finding common ground would prove virtually impossible. There were no guidelines. He would have to feel his way.

“I could lie and say I was only inquiring about the physical pain to the back of your head. The truth is, I’m shattered by what has happened to you, to me. To us. Any way you look at it, this is a hellish situation. If we’re not totally honest with each other, then I don’t see how we’ll be able to work our way out of this nightmare. I realize you’re terrified of me.”

That brought her head up. She stared at him. Again, he could see his presence didn’t register with her except to upset her.

“I am, but not because you’re a terrifying person. I’m sure you’re probably a wonderful person,” she admitted in a quiet voice. “But I don’t know you. I have no feeling for you. That’s what is terrifying.”

Oh, Lord.

“I’m beginning to realize that. Just give me some time to deal with it.”

“Of course.” He heard a troubled sigh escape. “The only thing real to me is the baby. Obviously I didn’t give birth to him.”

He blinked in surprise. “Who told you that?”

“Why would I have to be told something that is vastly apparent? I overheard the doctor say that the baby is only four days old, and I show no signs of ever having been pregnant. Which means we adopted him. Couldn’t I have children, or was it a physical problem on your part?”

Give your wife information on a need-to-know basis.

Unable to remain seated, he got up and wandered over to the window which looked out on the foothills of the city. Was this one of those moments?

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Is it because before the accident, I couldn’t handle the fact that I wasn’t able to conceive, or something like that, and you’re afraid to bring it up to me now?”

Diana, Diana...

“Since I have no idea of how I used to be, it really doesn’t matter, does it?”

It did once, my darling. You wouldn’t even discuss the possibility of adoption.

“I thought you were going to be honest with me.”

“I want to be.” His voice grated.

“So why the hesitation?”

He rubbed the back of his neck before turning from the window to look at her. “Because I don’t want to upset you. What I’m about to tell you could do just that. I would rather have waited for your memory to return, then no explanation would be necessary.”

She laced her hands together nervously. “But we don’t know when that day will come. If ever.”

“Don’t say that!” Her words filled him with fresh anguish.

“I have to. Some people lose their memories and never regain them.”

Dear God. You can remember everything about life except your own life! It doesn’t make any sense.

“Dr. Harkness says your memory will return.” Cal had to believe that or lose his mind.

“Maybe. In the meantime, do you expect me to live in a vacuum?” she blurted. “I’d rather be dead.”

Cal groaned. “Never talk that way again, Diana. Not even in jest.”

“You’re not inside my skin.”

My wife—Where have you gone? I don’t know you like this.

He swallowed hard. “No. I’m not. I couldn’t begin to understand how you feel.”

“Thank you for saying that.” Her voice wobbled.

He wanted to wrap her in his arms and will her memory back, but he couldn’t do anything. Not one damn thing. He’d never felt so helpless in his life.

“Please—if you care for me at all, tell me the truth.”

“All right.” He placed his hands on the back of the chair. “That baby upstairs is not our baby.”

“What? But of course it is! It’s Tyler!”

“No, Diana. You say you want to hear the truth, but already you’re fighting me.”

An awkward silence prevailed. “D-did we fight a lot in our marriage?”

He swallowed hard. “Never.”

After a long silence she whispered, “I’m sorry. Please go on.”

His heart reacted like a runaway train. “I don’t know if this is a good idea. Why don’t we wait for the doctor?”

She shook her head. “Don’t do this to me. Finish telling me the truth. I have to hear it. I promise I won’t interrupt again.”

I’m damned whatever I do, aren’t I, sweetheart?

“We’re pretty sure you found him on the doorstep at your work this morning. He was lying in a grocery box. There was a note. The unwed mother who left the baby there knew you would discover him. When you saw that the baby was jaundiced, you immediately brought him to the hospital for care.

“On your way into the emergency room, you slipped and hit your head on the pavement. Some ambulance attendants found you sitting on the cement, holding him. That’s why they brought you inside. When you couldn’t remember anything, they looked in your purse, found your identification and called me.”

Her lustrous green eyes filled with tears. “Tyler’s really not my baby,” she murmured in agony.

What have I said, what have I done?

Go on, Rawlins. Finish it.

“No. An abandoned baby is a ward of the court. You called him Tyler because that was your grandfather’s name. It’s the name you had hoped to call our baby, the one you miscarried a few months ago.”

“I had a miscarriage?”

He nodded. “You’ve had three, the last one after you were four months along,” he said gently.

“Nol ” Her look of horror mixed with a hint of pleading tore him apart.

“You asked for the truth. I didn’t want to hurt you. God knows I didn’t.”

Tears gushed from her eyes, forming rivulets down her pale cheeks. Suddenly she was convulsed. Her despair was worse than anything he’d heard during the traumatic week following her last miscarriage when she’d cried nonstop for days.

“Darli—”

“Don’t call me that!” she broke in on him. “For the love of heaven. Just go away and leave me alone.”

Sick in a way he couldn’t describe, Cal left her bedside and headed out of the room for the nursing station. The nurse who’d settled Diana in was just coming down the hall.

“What’s wrong, Mr. Rawlins? You look ill.”

Cal groaned in response. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. Clearing his throat he said, “Diana figured out she didn’t give birth to the baby upstairs in the nursery, so she forced me to tell her the truth. Now she’s inconsolable and it’s my fault.” His voice shook. “My wife needs help!”