Lifelong Affair

‘It won’t happen, Morgan.’ Strong fingers clasped about hers, gently reassuring.

She had never thought of herself as a weak or dependent woman, and yet at that moment she was petrified, turning into the comfortable width of shoulder at her side, clinging on to Alex Hammond as if they were lovers.

Only when the plane was safely in the air did she move away from him. ‘I’m sorry,’ her lashes were downcast in her embarrassment at breaking down in that way. ‘I’m not usually—well, I don’t normally—’

‘Forget it,’ he dismissed abruptly. ‘I already have.’

It wasn’t the normal reaction a man had to holding her in his arms, and it irked her somewhat that this man was so immune to the female form. The man was a damned robot!

It didn’t in the least surprise her when he fell asleep shortly after take-off, and she remained quietly at his side, guessing that he needed the rest. And if the truth were known she needed a little time to herself, to think quietly, to realise that she and the man at her side had sole responsibility for a tiny baby who would never know his real parents, who would be denied a mother’s love. Morgan vowed on that long flight that she would be the mother to Courtney that Glenna had intended her to be—no matter what the Hammonds said or did!

Alex had left his Mercedes parked at the airport, and with the ease with which she was coming to expect from him he saw them through Customs and into the car, driving them to the Hammond house in Surrey himself.

‘Courtney—–’

‘I’ll drive you to see him tomorrow,’ Alex interrupted abruptly. ‘I believe we may be able to bring him home then.’

Morgan couldn’t help the sudden rush of colour in her cheeks. It sounded curiously intimate for the two of them to be bringing home a baby. Obviously Alex thought so too.

‘A nanny will be engaged for him,’ he added harshly.

‘No!’

‘It’s the best way—–’

‘It may be your best way, Alex,’ she scorned, ignoring the tiredness still about his eyes, the fact that he must be feeling exhausted, knowing only that if she gave in to him over this then she would be continually doing so, ‘but I happen to believe Courtney needs a mother’s love, not the impersonality of a transient nanny.’

‘A mother’s love is something we can’t give him!’ Alex rasped.

‘I can,’ Morgan told him heatedly, her eyes flashing deeply green. ‘I intend adopting him as my own son.’

Grey eyes snapped with anger. ‘That might be a little difficult,’ he ground out.

She eyed him warily. ‘Why?’

‘Both guardians have to agree to any plans involving Courtney,’ he pointed out grimly.

She stiffened, turning in the leather seat to look at him, aware that he looked very weary, lines of strain beside his eyes and mouth, the latter a taut line of aggression. ‘And you won’t agree to my adopting Courtney?’ she asked softly.

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t believe it would be in his best interests.’

‘Don’t talk down to me, Alex Hammond!’ she snapped. ‘just say what you mean. You don’t think a “fun-loving young actress with no morals” a suitable mother for him, that’s it, isn’t it?’

He sighed heavily. ‘I wish I’d never made that remark. I suppose I’m to have it thrown up at me periodically during our association?’

‘That won’t be for long! I’m returning to Los Angeles as soon as possible.’

‘Without Courtney.’

‘With him.’

‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘Not unless I agree. And I don’t. Don’t you think this is a little soon to start arguing about Courtney’s future?’

‘With you I have a feeling it’s never too soon to start arguing!’

To her surprise the austere features broke into a smile, and Alex instantly looked younger, incredibly handsome, the grooves in his cheeks ones of humour this time, unfamiliar grooves, as if he smiled little. Morgan had a feeling that he didn’t, and she wondered at the reason for his harshness. A woman in the past, perhaps? That was usually the reason a man with Alex’s intelligence retreated into himself. Perhaps he hadn’t been able to take rejection. Whatever the reason, his humour now was totally unexpected. She gave him a questioning look.

His mouth quirked. ‘You’re the only one who does argue with me,’ he drawled.

‘Really?’ She smiled too now.

‘Really,’ he nodded.

‘That’s incredible.’

‘Yes.’

‘And that’s arrogant!’

‘No,’ he smiled again. ‘It’s quite exhilarating, actually.’

Now why on earth should she blush like a schoolgirl at the thought of Alex Hammond finding something about her exhilarating? Maybe it was because he was a challenge, the original ice man.

But she wasn’t here to find him a challenge, she was here to get Courtney and return home. And she would do it.

It needed all her self-confidence to enter the Hammond house with him a short time later; she was wary about meeting Rita Hammond again. They hadn’t exactly taken to each other when they met two years ago, and she had no reason to think the other woman would be any more kindly disposed towards her. The opposite if she also believed in the part of Mary-Beth being Morgan’s own nature!

If Rita Hammond had been sedated the day before there was no sign of it today. The woman was tall, almost as tall as her son, her iron-grey hair perfectly coiffured, her make-up impeccable despite her sixty years, her taste in clothes sophisticated and flattering to her slender figure.

She looked at Morgan with flinty blue eyes, not surprised to see her, but not welcoming her either. Well, that suited Morgan, she wasn’t glad to be here either!

‘Miss McKay,’ the other woman greeted regally.

‘Mrs Hammond,’ Morgan returned as frostily.

‘You parents are well?’

Morgan’s eyes widened. What was wrong with this family? This woman’s son and daughter-in-law had been tragically killed and she was asking innocuous questions about Morgan’s family! These people were emotionless. She need look no farther than Rita Hammond for her son’s lack of emotion; these people obviously didn’t know the meaning of the word love.

‘Could I please go to my room?’ she asked jerkily. ‘I’m feeling—tired, after the journey.’

Rita Hammond instantly rang for Symonds, instructing him to take Morgan up to the ‘lemon’ room.

‘We’ll talk later,’ Alex told her softly as she walked past him to follow Symonds upstairs.

She turned to smile at him, beginning to feel as if he was the only stability in a suddenly shaky world. ‘You look tired,’ she told him huskily. ‘Why don’t you rest too?’

Grey eyes widened—and then narrowed, almost as if he suspected her motives. ‘Not yet,’ he answered abruptly. ‘I have things to do.’

‘But soon, hmm?’ she prompted.

‘Perhaps,’ he nodded distantly. ‘Go with Symonds.’

She felt suitably dismissed, regretting the politeness of her concern. This man obviously didn’t need anyone’s sympathy for anything!

Morgan sat silently at Alex’s side as they drove to the hospital to pick up Courtney, so nervous her palms felt damp. It was ridiculous to feel so nervous about seeing a baby for the first time, but she couldn’t help it. Babies were something she had no experience of, especially ones as young as Courtney. She didn’t even know how to hold him—something Rita Hammond had taken great pains to point out to her.

Alex had obviously spoken to his mother by the time Morgan joined them for dinner the previous evening, for Rita Hammond was at her most haughty as she pointed out all the reasons Morgan wasn’t equipped to take care of a baby. When Morgan had remained blandly adamant the older woman had resorted to insults. Even her son’s curtly spoken words hadn’t deterred her, until finally Alex suggested his mother retire to her room, where he accompanied her, returning only after his mother had fallen into a sedated sleep, apologising tersely for her rudeness, but making no excuses for it.

Morgan had slept fitfully, her body completely out of English time, and rose early, only to find Alex was up before her, having already breakfasted and doing some work in his study. Morgan had only just managed to contain her anxiety to leave and collect Courtney, waiting impatiently until Alex suggested it was time to go.

And now they were almost there. She was going to see Glenna’s son at last!

He was beautiful! There was no other way to describe the tiny peaches and cream bundle wrapped in the white blanket. Tears filled her eyes as the nurse wheeled him out to them in his tiny crib, sleeping peacefully after his mid-morning feed.

‘He’s beautiful,’ she breathed softly, her eyes wide with wonder ‘Alex …!’ She looked at him glowingly.

His expression softened. ‘Why don’t you dress him while I have a word with the doctor?’

She swallowed hard. She thought herself a pretty gutsy lady, but this tiny baby terrified her. ‘I’ll try.’ She moistened her lips nervously, taking the box of expensive baby clothes that were part of a delivery made to the house early this morning. It seemed that the Hammond money could even get those sort of things delivered.

The nurse showed her into a private room, and between the two of them—with a lot of help from the nurse!—they managed to dress Courtney in the all-in-one blue suit, even though it still managed to swamp him despite being tiny. He was so incredibly like Glenna, with fiery-red hair and deep blue eyes, that Morgan felt fresh tears well up in her eyes.

‘Go ahead and cry,’ the nurse encouraged gently. ‘It’s always like this when a mother gets to take a premature baby home.’

Morgan blinked up at the young girl. ‘Oh, but—–’

‘He’s so much like you,’ the nurse cooed at him gently. ‘And I think he has your husband’s jaw even now. He’s going to be a strong-minded little boy.’

Morgan smiled at this young girl’s misconception. Somehow the other girl had the impression that she and Alex were Courtney’s parents. How angry he would be if he knew!

‘I’ve been on holiday for a couple of weeks,’ the girl unwittingly explained her mistake, ‘so I missed Courtney’s arrival into the world, but I can see he’s done very well for a premature baby.’ She helped Morgan put on the little woollen cap over Courtney’s red curls. ‘He has your colouring, you know,’ she smiled.

‘Probably a temper to go with it,’ Morgan joined in the laughter, feeling a sense of elation at being in at the start of Courtney’s life, seeing no reason to correct the young nurse’s impression of her being his mother, not wanting the complications and sympathy such an explanation would evoke.

‘Here’s your husband now.’ The girl moved to the door, smiling shyly up at Alex as he stood in the doorway.

Morgan looked at him, Courtney held firmly in her arms, wondering what his reaction was going to be to being thought her husband. The opinion he had of her morals, he would probably heatedly deny such a relationship.

‘Ready, darling?’ he asked huskily.

She nodded slowly, too stunned to answer him with words, and followed him out into the corridor.

‘Good luck!’ the young nurse beamed at them.

Alex gave her an abrupt nod, including a silver-haired woman in a blue uniform in that departing nod as they passed the office. ‘Thank you—for everything,’ he murmured softly to the woman.

Morgan allowed Alex to help her into the back of the dark Mercedes, still holding Courtney firmly in her arms, looking down in awe at his sleeping face. She looked up at Alex as he settled her more comfortably. ‘Why—–’

‘Wait until we’re on our way,’ he rasped softly, closing the door with a soft click so that he didn’t disturb the baby nestling against her.

Morgan had never experienced anything like the maternal love that flowed out of her for Courtney. It was a curiously choking feeling to know that he was totally dependent on her—on her and Alex. Alex had already made it clear that he intended taking a very strong part in Courtney’s life, and she already knew him well enough to know he meant every word.

He spoke suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. ‘As yet the media aren’t aware of Courtney’s existence,’ he told her abruptly. ‘I intend keeping it that way for as long as possible. That’s why the deception at the hospital.’

‘Deception?’ she frowned.

‘Courtney was registered as our child.’

‘Ours?’ she gasped.

He nodded. ‘That’s right.’

‘You have a hell of a nerve—–’

‘Ssh, you’ll wake the baby,’ he mocked her anger. ‘And I’m sure you have no idea what to do if that happens.’ He eyed her mockingly in the driving mirror. ‘No comeback?’

‘None,’ she shrugged. ‘But I bet you don’t know either,’ she said with satisfaction.

‘Wrong,’ he returned smugly.

Her eyes widened. ‘Wrong?’

He nodded. ‘I have it all written down. Compliments of the Ward Sister.’

‘That’s cheating!’

‘Common sense,’ he corrected. ‘I even have a bottle in case he wants feeding.’

‘Too clever by half,’ she mumbled, feeling too elated from holding Courtney in her arms to feel any real anger with Alex. Holding the tiny baby gave her a sense of well-being, as if she held a tiny part of Glenna to her.

Glenna would have loved Courtney, she had been looking forward to his birth so much. No wonder she had clung to life long enough to give birth to him. If only her strange decision to make Alex Hammond and herself Courtney’s guardians could be explained that easily!

Although Alex seemed more approachable today, less inclined to be the austere stranger she was used to. Perhaps Courtney’s innocence had got to him too. Although she wouldn’t count on it! No doubt he would revert to type soon enough.

‘Damn, damn, damn!’ he muttered as they entered the long driveway to the house, and slowed the car down.

‘What is it?’ Morgan sat forward concernedly, Courtney still—thank goodness!—fast asleep in her arms.

‘I hope you feel up to facing the press again,’ he ground out. ‘Why the hell didn’t my mother ring the police and have them thrown off my land!’ he bit out grimly as he halted the car and was instantly surrounded by obvious members of the press, tape-recorders and cameras at the ready. ‘There’s going to be no keeping Courtney’s existence a secret now,’ he turned to mutter. ‘Just stay at my side, Morgan, and don’t say a word!’

What did he take her for! He treated her as if she was some sort of brainless idiot, not a woman of twenty-six. Who did—–

‘And calm down,’ he taunted at the flash in her green eyes. ‘You don’t want them to think you hate me, do you?’ he mocked before swinging out of the car to walk round and open the door for her, ignoring the questions being thrown at him as if he didn’t hear them.

‘Is this your nephew, Mr Hammond?’ The jostling became more intense as Morgan stepped out of the car with Courtney in her arms.

‘The son of Glenna McKay and your brother Mark?’ they persisted as Alex guided her towards the house.

‘Is this Morgan McKay, sir?’ another tried politeness.

‘Of course it is,’ another man said eagerly. ‘Don’t you watch her in Power Trap?’ His tone implied appreciation of the character she played. ‘It’s been rumoured that you and Miss McKay are the baby’s guardians,’ the man followed them as they walked up the steps to the house. ‘Do you have any comment to make about that, Mr Hammond?’

Again Alex ignored the question, although Morgan could see by the tightening of his mouth that he was angry such information had become public knowledge.

‘Does this mean that, in the best tradition of romances, the two of you will be marrying?’ the man persisted.

Morgan knew she had blanched, and she could see that Alex had stiffened at such a suggestion. She and Alex marry? Never!

CHAPTER THREE

HER arm felt bruised from the way Alex thrust her inside the house, closing the door in the young man’s face as he would have continued his questioning.

Morgan had never been so shocked in her life. Where did people get these ideas from? She and Alex hardly knew each other, and what they did know they disliked. They would certainly never consider marrying each other, not even for Courtney’s sake.

Alex was scowling heavily as his mother came out of the lounge, throwing his car keys down carelessly on the hall table. ‘Have you called the police, Mother?’ he rasped.

‘Police?’ Rita Hammond looked puzzled. ‘Oh, you mean the press,’ she dismissed.

‘Of course I mean—–’

‘Alex, you had no right to take that woman with you to collect my grandson!’ Her icy blue eyes spat venom at Morgan.

He frowned. ‘Are you saying you told the media?’ he asked softly.

‘No, of course not,’ the elderly woman snapped, striding over to stand in front of Morgan. ‘Give him to me,’ she ordered, holding out her arms for the baby.

Morgan’s arms tightened about the tiny shawl-wrapped form. She didn’t like the almost hysterical gleam in Rita Hammond’s eyes. She had been wrong about this woman’s lack of emotion concerning Glenna and Mark’s death; Rita Hammond was slowly cracking up, her emotions held on too tight a rein.

Morgan looked appealingly at Alex, and was relieved when he stepped forward to take control of the situation.

‘It’s time for your medication, Mother—–’

‘I don’t want it,’ his mother refused imperiously, shaking off his hand on her arm. ‘It just makes me sleepy. If I hadn’t been sleeping this morning I could have come with you to collect Courtney. She has no right to him!’

‘Mother—–’

‘She’s a slut, Alex, just like her sister was. I will not permit her into my grandson’s life!’ Rita Hammond’s voice was beginning to rise shrilly. ‘You should know that no member of that family is capable of bringing up a child decently!’ Her eyes glittered with hatred.

Morgan was very pale. ‘Mrs Hammond—–’

‘Give the baby to me!’ The other woman reached out for Courtney, and Morgan stepped back out of her reach. There was no way she was going to relinquish the baby to this hysterical woman!

‘Mother—–’

‘Give him to me!’ Rita Hammond began pulling at her arms, waking the baby, who instantly gave a heartrending wail of hunger. ‘You see?’ she turned triumphantly to her son. ‘Courtney doesn’t like her either. He’s frightened of her. Alex, I forbid this woman to come near my grandson.’

‘Let’s go to your room, Mother,’ Alex controlled her, firmly propelling her out of the room, not sparing a second glance for the shocked and pale Morgan.

What did Rita Hammond mean by calling Glenna a slut? How dared she talk about Glenna like that, and imply that she was the same! The woman might be bordering on collapse, but her insults to Glenna were unforgivable.

‘Shall I take the baby for his feed, Miss McKay?’

She turned at the softly spoken words, her eyes widening as she took in the neat nurse’s uniform and kindly face of the middle-aged woman standing in front of her, her arms held out for Courtney.

‘I believe he’s hungry, Miss McKay,’ the woman added pointedly as the baby continued to scream.

Anger warred with practicality, and finally it was the latter that won. Courtney was hungry, extremely so by the sound of him, and as she had no idea what Alex had done with his bottle Morgan had no choice but to hand the baby over to the capable-looking woman.

‘Mr Hammond engaged you?’ she asked casually as the woman held Courtney confidently in her arms.

‘Of course,’ the woman nodded. ‘I’ve prepared the nursery in your absence. If you’ll excuse me …’

Morgan nodded abruptly; Courtney’s lungs sounded as if he were going to burst if someone didn’t feed him soon! But Alex’s decision to engage a nurse for him without even consulting her was unforgivable, especially when she had already made her feelings about such an idea clear.

He hadn’t returned from his mother’s room after ten minutes’ wait, and with an angry sigh Morgan went up to her room to shower and change for lunch. What she had to say to him couldn’t wait much longer. Glenna might have been treated like an outcast in this family; Rita Hammond’s words more than showed that!—but Morgan McKay wasn’t tied by love to any member of this family, and she wouldn’t let them walk all over her.

She lunched alone, although the absence of the reporters in the driveway told her that Alex had been in touch with the police. A casual query to Symonds as to Alex’s whereabouts now told her he was in his study. That was all she needed to know!

Alex told her to come in after her firm knock on the door, and she stood aggressively in front of his desk, refusing his offer to sit down. She didn’t intend feeling at a disadvantage by sitting across from him like some naughty schoolgirl!

‘You engaged a nanny—–’

‘Nurse,’ he corrected calmly. ‘Courtney is with her now?’ He raised dark brows enquiringly.

She nodded abruptly. ‘He’s been fed, and is now fast asleep in his crib. I checked on him before lunch,’ she explained.

‘I believe Mrs Ford is very capable,’ he nodded.

‘And I believe I told you I didn’t want Courtney to have a nanny—–’

‘Mrs Ford is a nurse,’ he repeated, sitting back, his eyes narrowed as if for battle.

‘Nanny, nurse, it’s all the same!’ she said heatedly.

Cool grey eyes raked over her disdainfully. ‘Courtney is a premature baby, he was born in unusual circumstances. The doctors only agreed to him coming home with us today on the understanding that an experienced nurse be engaged to monitor his progress for a few weeks.’

‘Oh.’

‘Indeed,’ he drawled at her discomfort.

Angry colour flared in her cheeks. ‘You could have told me that, damn you! You didn’t say a damned word on the drive to the hospital, or on the way back.’

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