Truly, Madly, Deeply

“I’ve missed you,” he said simply.

She wasn’t sure how to respond. You missed someone you felt emotionally close to. Dustin had rocketed through her life and changed her forever, but she’d always recognized the distance between them. He’d been a fantasy then, and he was a fantasy now.

“But obviously you haven’t missed me.” His voice registered disappointment.

She turned more fully toward him. “I’m not sure what you want from me, Dustin.”

He gazed at her for a long moment. “Just what we said. A fresh start.”

“Okay. A fresh start, then.” She had a feeling the situation was more complicated than that, but she decided not to press the matter.

“We’ll talk more about it during lunch.” He reached across her to adjust the air-conditioning vents and brushed her breast with his elbow. “Sorry.”

“No problem.” Ha. No problem, indeed. Her nipples had gone on instant alert.

Apparently satisfied with the outcome of the conversation, Dustin eased the truck out of the parking space. She was aware of his every move. He wanted a fresh start, and she couldn’t help wondering if he meant a fresh sexual start. If so, she’d be a much better lover now. But that was adolescent, to think she had to prove something sexually to this guy.

Even if she wanted to do that, she didn’t have the time. As it was she’d have to burn the midnight oil putting together the newsletter. Over lunch she’d find out what kind of company Ramsey Enterprises was these days and get a better handle on why Dustin intrigued her so much.

Maybe his choice of vehicle figured into it. The Mustang had been a souped-up muscle car, and this truck oozed testosterone, too. She preferred fuel-efficient cars, but she couldn’t pretend they were as sexy.

She hadn’t ridden in a truck for a long time, not since her days in Midland. The deep rumble of the engine exuded macho power. Watching Dustin at the wheel of this truck was a completely different experience from riding with her other male friends in their import sedans.

She’d thought she was beyond this sort of obvious symbolism. Then again, maybe not. She’d put herself on the library waiting list so she could borrow the Georgia O’Keefe flower print. Dustin had placed himself in a powerful truck that thrust into traffic with masculine authority.

Maybe her Midland roots were showing. During puberty she’d been exposed to truck-driving cowboy types, so perhaps they’d imprinted on her budding womanhood. What a shame if she couldn’t get excited without throbbing engines, considering how much she disapproved of eight-cylinder gas-guzzlers like this monster.

But facts were facts, and she was turned on by watching Dustin at the wheel of his truck. She sincerely hoped he couldn’t tell that the longer they were together, the more she wanted to strip him naked and jump his bones. While giving him directions to the Fairmont, she kept her voice steady and her eyes on the road. She’d never known men to be good mind readers, so her desperate longing for his virile body could be her little secret.

He navigated the heavy city traffic with ease, handling the truck almost like a sports car as he gunned the engine to switch lanes. She was thrilled down to her painted toe-nails with every aggressive tactic.

The radio station started broadcasting the headlines and he switched it off. “How did you happen to get the idea for the newsletter?”

“From my girlfriends at the Dallas Morning News.” Talking about her work might take her mind off sex. “We were sitting around the break room one day wishing out loud that there could be a singles magazine along the lines of Cosmo that was specifically geared to the Dallas area. I claimed that I could desktop-publish a singles newsletter, and my friends dared me to try.”

“Can’t resist a dare, huh?”

“Depends upon the dare.”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You’re not the type to lose your head and do dumb things.”

I wouldn’t say that. I had my first sexual experience with you. “You make me sound dull and uninteresting.”

“Are you kidding? You were about the most interesting girl in the senior class. Granted, your ideas were sort of strange, but—”

“Not so strange! Time is proving me right, you know. If we don’t wake up, this planet will be ruined.” She was glad he’d slipped and called her ideas strange. Maybe she’d get over her sexual attraction to him, after all.

“Hey, I care about the environment.”

Now she was in familiar territory. “Excuse me if I don’t believe that. You’ve spent years polluting the air with exhaust fumes, just for the fun of it. Of course, with your parents in the oil business, why not? Who cares about air quality when more oil consumption lines your pockets?”

“Do you know what would happen to the economy of this country if everybody thought like you?”

“Dustin, that argument is full of holes. We could switch this economy to alternate fuel and keep it humming along nicely. But that would mean shaking up your comfortable little world, giving up your favorite toys.”

He was silent for so long she was sure she’d offended him. Well, so be it. They were completely different, and they might as well acknowledge that up front.

“Maybe I’m ready to shake up my world,” he said at last.

She glanced at him in surprise.

He shrugged. “As I said, you’re a good influence on me.”

Well, now. This cast a new light on things. He was hinting that she might make a convert of him. To take the son of an oil baron and turn him into a liberal conservationist might be a job worth tackling.

“What’s your position with Ramsey Enterprises, now?” she asked.

“Looks like I’m running the show. My dad had a stroke right after the first of the year and can’t handle the job anymore.”

“Oh, Dustin.” Remorse washed over her. Now wasn’t the time to chide him about his comfortable situation. It was anything but comfortable. She laid a hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. That must be very rough.”

He nodded. “Yeah, but maybe it was time I grew up.”

“Forget what I said. I had no idea what you were dealing with.”

“No offense taken.”

She drew her hand away when she realized she’d begun lightly stroking his sleeve. “How is your father?”

“He’s in rehab, and gradually learning to walk again. But his problems with communication are the biggest reason he can’t run the company. He can’t read or write, and he has trouble finding the words he needs when he talks.”

“Thank goodness you have the resources to give him good care.” She worried about her own parents, who were living on a little farm in Ohio and had no health insurance. They claimed healthy living would keep them out of hospitals, but she thought they were skating on thin ice.

“Right,” Dustin said.

Her impression of him was changing by the minute. Ten years ago she’d tried to soothe her broken heart by thinking of Dustin as the dark prince from an evil empire. But rich or poor, when you were the only child of an ailing parent, the worry was still the same.

“They’re doing wonderful things with stroke patients these days,” she said. “With the right therapy, he could have a full recovery.”

“I hope so. But the doctors warned me not to expect it. I have to operate as if he’ll never be in charge of Ramsey Enterprises again.”

“I’ll bet you know more about running the company than you think you do.”

“We’ll see.” He pulled the truck under the portico in front of the Fairmont and handed the keys to the valet with the air of someone who’d done it a million times. No doubt he had. With the same ease he tipped the bellman who helped Erica out of the truck and took Dustin’s overnight bag from the back.

Then Dustin grabbed the dove-gray Stetson that had been lying brim up on the seat and settled it on his head. With that gesture, he suddenly became Dustin Ramsey, heir to the throne of Ramsey Enterprises. She’d do well to remember that, dutiful son or not, he was still aligned with corporate America.

And she was not. Therefore she couldn’t allow herself to be thrilled by a man who knew exactly how to check into a luxury hotel. Maybe for a brief moment, as she walked with him into the flower-decorated lobby, she fantasized spending the night with him here. Even without her deadline looming, that would be a gigantic mistake.

He reserved a room for two nights. Interesting. By tomorrow night she’d have met her deadline. Not that it mattered that she’d have free time then. Of course not.

“You’ll come up with me, won’t you?” He pocketed the folder containing the card key and walked away from the check-in desk. “I’d like to drop off my jacket and briefcase, and there’s no point in having you hang around the lobby waiting for me.”

“Okay.” She walked with him toward the bank of elevators and tried to convince herself there was nothing forbidden or exciting about going up to his room. Hanging around in the lobby like some scared little rabbit would be stupid.

They rode up with a couple of men wearing suits and toting briefcases. Erica stood well apart from Dustin and watched the floors blink by above the elevator doors. No matter how she tried to diffuse the feeling, the little trip upstairs seemed to have sexual liaison written all over it.

She wondered if agreeing to go up to his room had meant more than she’d intended. Ten years ago he’d invited her for a ride in the country, and he’d assumed she’d wanted more than fresh air out of the deal.

Well, if he thought something would happen once they reached the room, he’d better think again. Offering sympathy for his situation with his father was one thing. Losing her head and jumping into bed with him was quite another. She wasn’t the same person he’d dazzled back in high school.

His silence as they walked toward the room was extremely suspicious. Maybe he was busy planning his seduction. She’d bet the great Dustin Ramsey had never been turned down, and he took it for granted that once a woman stepped inside his hotel room, she would go along with his every desire.

By the time he opened the door and ushered her inside, her heart was pounding wildly and her imagination was in overdrive.

The room was hushed and seductive, light filtering through sheer curtains. The bulk of the room was taken up with a king-size bed, a piece of furniture that was impossible to ignore and difficult to take casually. She should have waited in the lobby. Looking like a scared rabbit was preferable to an awkward scene when she refused him.

And she absolutely would refuse him. Her self-esteem required it.

Dustin tossed his jacket across the burgundy-and-green quilted bedspread and put his briefcase on the lacquered desk. “Do you want anything to drink before we go back down?” He opened an armoire. “There’s a courtesy bar in here.”

She could imagine only one reason he’d offer her a drink in the middle of the day in his hotel room. “No, thanks. Dustin, I think we should—”

A knock on the door interrupted her. She waited, fidgeting with her purse strap, while he let the bellman in and tipped him for bringing up the overnight bag.

Once the door closed, she tried again. “I need to ask you something.”

He stowed his bag in the closet. “What’s that?”

“Why did you come to Dallas?”

“I found out about your newsletter and thought franchising would be a great opportunity for both of us.” He closed the closet door.

“That’s it?”

He studied her from across the room. “Why?”

Her heart thudded faster. People didn’t ask why unless they had something they weren’t telling you. “Because I have the feeling that there’s a whole other thing going on. I want to know what it is.”

3

DUSTIN HAD HOPED his dealings with Erica would run a little smoother than this. First of all she hadn’t jumped at the franchise offer. Now she was demanding to know if he had ulterior motives for making the offer. He hadn’t asked Erica up to the room to seduce her. He wasn’t sure why he’d asked her to ride along, other than a desire to keep her close by.

Sure enough, he was drawing strength from her, as he’d thought he would. For the first time since his father’s stroke, he was beginning to feel optimistic about his ability to run the company. That didn’t make sense considering that Erica seemed ready to reject the franchise deal.

But she’d offered him comfort when he’d told her about his dad, the kind of comfort he couldn’t expect from his good-time pals on the racing circuit. She’d also implied that she thought he could handle all these new challenges. He didn’t remember anyone else saying that, not even his mother. Yep, he definitely liked having Erica nearby.

He wouldn’t mind having her even nearer, and she’d picked up on that. But he wasn’t so crude that he’d try to lure her into bed during their first couple of hours together. She didn’t know that, though, and obviously riding up in the elevator had given her time to concoct all kinds of scenarios. He should have made small talk, whether there were other people in the elevator or not. Giving a woman like Erica extra time to think wasn’t a good idea.

Now she was demanding explanations he wasn’t willing to give. He hadn’t decided how honest to be with her about the sex thing. Considering how soon it was into the encounter, he didn’t want to bare his soul and all his insecurities. That time might never come.

She stood silhouetted by the light coming through the sheer draperies. He couldn’t see her face very well, but her rigid posture suggested she was feeling under attack. He would have liked to move closer, but she might interpret that as being too aggressive.

He decided to give her part of the truth and hope that worked out. “You’re right, there’s more to my visit than working out a franchise deal for Dateline: Dallas. That’s a bonus, but it could be a very promising bonus for both of us. I’m dead serious about wanting to expand the newsletter to other cities.”

“You’re not offering me a business deal out of guilt for what happened ten years ago, are you? Because if that’s the reason, I—”

“Not a chance.” He held back a smile. Guilt, hell. She’d jumped to the wrong conclusion, which temporarily saved him. “There’s no place in business for guilt.” He’d heard that line from his father, although personally he thought his father had many things to feel guilty about. “The offer is legitimate, and I hope you take me up on it.”

Her breasts lifted and quivered as she took a deep breath. “So what else is going on?”

Damned if his mouth didn’t literally water as he imagined uncovering those full breasts and rolling her taut nipples against his tongue. “Ten years ago we obviously were attracted to each other. I was too…well, too young to recognize the potential, but I haven’t been able to forget you.”

That was way more than he’d wanted to say and it left him vulnerable. He didn’t like to appear needy, but that was better than saying he wanted another chance because he’d been a stupid virgin the first time they’d had sex.

She regarded him silently for a long time. Too long.

He finally broke the silence. “Obviously you’ve been able to put me right out of your mind, though,” he said at last. A guy had to salvage a little pride. “Don’t worry about it. I’m a grown-up, and I can put the whole thing aside and focus on business. We can go get some lunch and talk about—”

“I haven’t put you entirely out of my mind, either.”

Thank God. Maybe he wouldn’t end up roadkill, after all. “That’s how you’ve made it seem.”

“I…okay, maybe I have.”

“Playing it cool?”

“Sort of.” A smile flitted across her mouth and was gone. “But I do remember that night, Dustin.”

And it was entirely possible that, whenever she remembered it, she focused on his miserable performance. He hated that. “Look, we really don’t have to get into the subject now. The franchise deal is what we should concentrate on.” He’d been trying to tell himself that, but repairing his sexual record seemed equally important. That only showed that he wasn’t a true businessman like his father.

“You know what? I want to get into this right now.” She sat down on a chair positioned by the window and crossed those beautiful long legs. “I doubt I’ll go for the franchise, but if I thought you were only using it as a way to—”

“I’m not. Swear to God.”

She studied him. “I guess I’ve never fully trusted someone who has a lot of money. They can use it to manipulate situations.”

What a joke. Little did she know that he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. But admitting his shaky financial status might make her shy away from throwing in with him. Accepting her sympathy regarding his dad was okay, but he didn’t want her sympathy when it came to the money crunch.

He cleared his throat. “So you’re afraid I would franchise your newsletter in order to get you into bed?”

“Would you?”

“No. That’s sleazy. I’m sorry you think I would stoop to that kind of thing.”

“I don’t think it’s so hard to imagine.” She used her captain-of-the-debate-team voice. “Which came first, finding me or discovering the newsletter?”

This conversation wasn’t going to end for a while. He decided to walk over and sit on the side of the bed so he could face her. By moving closer, he could judge her expression better. Maybe he’d lose the feeling that he was on a runaway train. “Finding you.”

“And why were you looking for me?”

He sighed. “This will sound lame, but it all goes back to chemistry.”

“Aha! That’s what I—”

“Chemistry class.”

She stared at him.

“In the months since my dad’s stroke, I’ve felt this growing sense of panic that I was in over my head, that I couldn’t manage the company. And I—”

“Doesn’t your dad have assistants, secretaries, people who can help you catch up?”

He shook his head. “Clayton Ramsey didn’t delegate. He was also a hard guy to work for, and no secretary stayed for long. The last one quit and moved to Alaska right before he had his stroke.” Dustin decided not to add that his father hadn’t paid those secretaries enough to get decent ones or make them feel any sense of loyalty. The office was still a mess from the last secretary’s slipshod work.

“Anyway,” he continued, “to say that I don’t feel confident is an understatement. My successes have come on the football field and the racetrack. The only time I’ve accepted an intellectual challenge was in that chemistry class with you. When I said you were a good influence on me, I wasn’t kidding.”

“You want me to help you run the company?” Her eyes widened. “Dustin, I’m not remotely qualified.”

“No, I’m not asking for that. I want…” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m going to run the company. Come hell or high water, I’m going to accomplish that. But Ramsey Enterprises needs to diversify so that it’s not so dependent on oil.”

“Ah. Middle Eastern oil is cutting into your profits.”

“Yes.” Wiping out his profits was more like it. He shouldn’t be surprised that she’d have information on that. She was a journalist. “I thought you might have some ideas to offer, and when I found out about the newsletter, I had the brainstorm that it could be the start of Ramsey’s diversification program.” He glanced at her.

“My little newsletter?”

“It’s growing, and it could grow bigger.” Apparently his business degree hadn’t been a total waste of time, because he’d recognized a potential gold mine when he saw one. “Every major city in the country is a potential market. That’s not a little concept.”

With a self-deprecating smile, she relaxed back into the chair. “And here I thought it was all about sex.”

He had a split second to make a decision. “Actually, it is.”

She sat up with a jolt. “But—”

“Everything I’ve told you so far is the absolute truth, but there’s more.”

Her throat moved in a slow swallow. “Then I guess…you’d better tell me.”

“The thing is, ten years ago, when we…well, it wasn’t exactly perfect.” He looked into her eyes. “Was it?”

Her gaze was wary. “Well, maybe not, but I think we could blame that on the beer.”

“Yeah. Sure. But I remember how much we both…how excited we were. That’s mostly what’s bothered me all these years. It should have been a better experience.”

“We were young.”

“Exactly.” He took a deep breath. “I know this will sound outrageous, but…I can do better. I’d like a chance to prove it.”

ERICA USUALLY HAD a comeback for everything. In fact, she could count on one hand the times she’d been stricken speechless. No question, this would rank as the most memorable. Never in a trillion years could she have predicted those words would come out of Dustin Ramsey’s mouth.

Finally she found her voice. “You want a do-over?”

“Yes. No. Well, in a way. Damn, I had no idea this would be so—”

“I am incredibly flattered.” And unbelievably aroused.

“But you’re not interested. People always start a rejection speech by saying they’re flattered, but they couldn’t possibly do whatever it is. Listen, don’t worry about it. You wanted to know what the other part to this was, and now you know. We can forget the whole thing and concentrate on the franchise.”

“Forget the whole thing? You must be joking.”

He groaned. “I’ve screwed it up. Now you won’t consider the franchise because all you’ll be able to think about is that I asked you to have sex with me. But I couldn’t lie to you, Erica. I respect you too much for that.”

She took several deep breaths and tried to calm her racing heart. Dustin wanted to franchise her newsletter, but he also wanted to give her an orgasm. He hadn’t said it quite like that, but that’s what he meant. She was still trying to process the idea that he’d worried about their less-than-wonderful night for all these years and had taken the responsibility for that failure.

That said so much about him. She’d blamed her inexperience, but he hadn’t. And now he wanted to show her that he’d improved. Amazing that he’d even care about her opinion. Even more amazing that his own self-image seemed to depend on getting it right with her. She’d never possessed such power over a man in her life.

She would handle it carefully. “If we…had sex, assuming we’d both be better at it this time, what would that achieve?”

He gazed at her for several seconds. “Every time I think of you, I remember that night and cringe. I want to fix that.”

“You make it sound like a loose wheel on one of your race cars.”

“You’re kidding, but that’s not such a bad way to describe the feeling I have.”

She still had trouble comprehending that their silly little experience had affected him this much. “You can’t simply forget it?”

“Believe me, I’ve tried. It probably doesn’t bother you at all, but it’s been driving me nuts for years.”

What a concept. She loved it. “Okay, I’ll admit that it bothers me a little, too.” She wasn’t ready to say that it had haunted her for ten years. She hadn’t allowed herself to think that way.

“See? It’ll always be an obstacle between us unless we do something to change it.” He glanced down at the carpet. “I shouldn’t have avoided you like I did after that night, but I was only eighteen and…mortally embarrassed about the lousy sex.”

“That’s why you didn’t call me?” She thought of the weeks of misery she’d endured. “Embarrassment?”

He looked up at her again and nodded. “Sorry.”

“I thought once you’d scored, you weren’t interested anymore!” And she still wasn’t convinced that hadn’t been a part of it. Maybe he was revising history to suit his current predicament.

“Then you must have a pretty rotten opinion of me. I suppose you classify me with the guys your readers write about, like the one who wouldn’t take time to satisfy Frustrated Franny.”

Her body grew warm and restless. “I see you noticed what was on my computer screen.”

“I couldn’t help being curious. Do you see a lot of that? Guys who aren’t willing to give as good as they get?”