Their Mistletoe Baby

A Christmas dream come true

When handsome pediatrician Lucas Brodie walked out on his wife, Freya, at Christmas, he left her heart and hopes for a family shattered. This year, nurse Freya is determined to put the pain behind her by volunteering on a trip to take sick children to Lapland. But then she discovers Lucas is coming, too!

As they begin to fall in love again, Lucas wonders—could he give her a family after all? Can he put his past behind him? Perhaps an unexpected pregnancy could be the Christmas miracle to make Freya’s dreams come true...

‘You missed a bit.’ Freya pulled off her mitten and brushed the corner of his mouth with the pad of her thumb.

It was an innocent gesture, but the moment she touched Lucas his whole body sparked to life, every nerve-ending tingling with awareness. As though he’d been dormant for too long, waiting for her to initiate that contact, that bolt of electricity, to awaken him from his slumber.

‘Thanks.’ He locked his eyes on hers and he saw the brief flare of desire before she blinked it away. They might only have been married a short while, but he knew his wife well enough to recognise that look. It was the same flicker of interest he’d found so hard to resist when they’d first started working together and he still didn’t want to. He could see that same internal fight against it in her eyes too, and hope flared in his chest along with desire.

The most he’d thought he could ask from her was forgiveness, so he could start his new life. He had never imagined that the one good thing about his past might still be available to him. If he’d known there’d be the slightest possibility he could have his wife back in his life he would’ve done everything to make it happen once he was strong enough to fight for her again. He’d simply accepted that he’d hurt her too much ever to go back. Now he wondered if she might still harbour feelings for him somewhere beyond that tough shell she’d cocooned herself in.

Dear Reader,

Writing a Christmas book has been a dream come true for me. I am one of those people, like Freya, who still wants to believe in the magic of the festive season. My mum made it such a special time of the year that I never did want to grow up. Even when I’d left home and had children of my own she still managed to wrap up a slice of that nostalgia in a parcel of sweets, books and pyjamas for me to open on Christmas morning.

For us, the day was always about family. Even though she and my gran are gone now, the rest of us still get together for the traditional board games and obligatory game of bingo after we’ve stuffed ourselves with turkey sandwiches and chocolate.

Lucas is my Grinch, who doesn’t understand the warm, fuzzy feeling of having family around at Christmas because he’s never experienced it. Of course Freya and I have worked extra hard to show him how special it can be. And what better place is there to start than on a trip to see Santa Claus in Lapland?

Let’s just hope it turns out better than our family visit there, with a toddler who hated the cold and has no memory of the trip at all…

Merry Christmas!

Karin xx

Their Mistletoe Baby

Karin Baine

www.millsandboon.co.uk

KARIN BAINE lives in Northern Ireland with her husband, two sons, and her out-of-control notebook collection. Her mother and her grandmother’s vast collection of books inspired her love of reading and her dream of becoming a Mills & Boon author. Now she can tell people she has a proper job! You can follow Karin on Twitter, @karinbaine1, or visit her website for the latest news—karinbaine.com.

Books by Karin Baine

Mills & Boon Medical Romance

Paddington Children’s Hospital

Falling for the Foster Mum

French Fling to Forever

A Kiss to Change Her Life

The Doctor’s Forbidden Fling

The Courage to Love Her Army Doc

Reforming the Playboy

Visit the Author Profile page at millsandboon.co.uk.

For my wonderful mum, who created the magic, and my boys William and Alexander, who still let me pretend it exists.

Thanks to Laura, Julia and Chellie for helping me write the best Christmas story I could.

Praise for Karin Baine

‘The moment I picked up Karin Baine’s debut medical romance I knew I would not be disappointed with her work. Poetic and descriptive writing, engaging dialogue, thoroughly created characters and a tightly woven plot propels French Fling to Forever into the must-read, highly recommended level.’

—Contemporary Romance Reviews

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

About the Author

Dedication

Praise

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

EPILOGUE

Extract

Copyright

PROLOGUE

THIS WAS GOING to be the best Christmas ever. Freya was going to make sure of it. She heard Lucas turning his key in the front door and hoped the smell of her home cooking would put a smile back on his face.

‘I’m in the kitchen,’ she called, thankful she’d had the day off to make up for their earlier tiff.

Lucas hadn’t been in the best of moods lately, which surely hadn’t been helped by having to work Christmas Eve or her mistake of bringing up obviously delicate subjects when he was overworked and overtired. Not that she’d expected the idea of having a baby to be so controversial for a doctor who’d chosen to specialise in paediatric care and was so great with his young patients.

They’d never discussed starting a family. Freya had simply assumed Lucas would be as keen as she was, but his negative reaction to the idea this morning had told a different story. He’d surprised her by storming off to the hospital, slamming the door behind him when she’d mentioned feeling broody recently. In hindsight, she had put him on the spot by asking when they could start thinking about babies when he was obviously under a lot of pressure already and not in the right head space to become a father yet.

They could discuss it properly later so they were both clear on the long-term plans for this relationship.

As Lucas strode into the kitchen, still wearing the same scowl he’d had for days now, Freya conceded it probably wasn’t good timing anyway when marriage already seemed far from the fairy tale she’d always imagined. Her spirits sank a little as that dream of having a family of her own seemed further away than ever. Lucas’s recent mood swings were even making her slightly regret the pact she’d made with him that they would spend the holidays together, just the two of them. This would be her first year not sharing it with her tinsel-loving, Christmas-aholic parents, made more difficult by the fact her new husband didn’t appear to share her enthusiasm for the season either.

The more Freya tried to make it special for them, the more detached Lucas seemed to become, but she was determined to make Christmas, and their marriage, a success. She’d lost too much already to let it all slip through her hands again.

‘You’ve been busy.’ Lucas leaned up against the refrigerator and gave the baked goods lining the kitchen counter a cursory glance before he continued scrolling through his phone.

If Freya was honest, it wasn’t the amorous reunion she’d been hoping for where they would both admit they’d been in the wrong and engage in some wild kitchen make-up sex so they could move on and enjoy the rest of Christmas.

She’d heard passion sometimes went off the boil when you got married but she hadn’t expected it after only a few months. They should still be in that can’t-wait-to-rip-each-other’s-clothes-off honeymoon stage, which was why she was worried she wasn’t living up to his wifely expectations. Her mother had always seemed to juggle her nursing career and her home life perfectly and she couldn’t help but wonder if this blip in their love life had somehow been down to her. After all, she didn’t have a good record for keeping men interested. All she wanted to do was make this first Christmas together special for him.

‘The turkey’s almost done if you want some. I always love Christmas Eve at home, with the smell of the turkey cooking and getting to sample some before dinner on the big day. I’ve made my own stuffing too, just the way my mum always did. Maybe I’ll get to pass on the family tradition someday too.’ It slipped out before she realised and she tensed, waiting for another heated reminder she was alone in her enthusiasm for a large brood to fill her house at Christmas.

‘I’m not really hungry. Maybe later.’ Luckily, Lucas appeared oblivious to her slip of the tongue, his phone still monopolising his attention. Freya told herself such was the nature of being married to a paediatric consultant—he was always in demand—but there was a niggling doubt something else was behind his recent distraction. Especially when there’d been a few occasions he’d seemed to end calls abruptly when she’d walked into the room.

‘I made gingerbread men too. You know Christmas isn’t Christmas without creating a cloned army of little dudes capable of breaking your teeth on the one day of the year a dentist is impossible to get hold of. I thought you could help me decorate them later in time for Santa Claus stopping by.’ The ironic nod to her childlike obsession with the season had been an attempt to make him laugh but Lucas simply rolled his eyes as though it was a chore she was forcing him to perform, the joke lost on him. Freya made the excuse to herself that he was probably exhausted after his shift because it was less painful than believing he’d tired of her already.

‘Great. I...er...think I’ll go take a shower first.’ He walked out of the kitchen, batting away the paper garlands she’d hung from the ceiling with his free hand, as if they were nothing but a nuisance.

That was exactly how she didn’t want him to see her—as if she was nothing more than a pretty decoration he could do without cluttering up his life—but even when he wasn’t working he came to bed late and rose early, so they spent little time together as a couple these days. Married life was new to them both but she would do whatever it took to make this work. This was her chance to have the family she’d always wanted and she wasn’t going to fail a second time.

* * *

Lucas closed his eyes and let the water wash his tears away where no one could see them. As a newlywed spending his first Christmas with his beautiful wife this should have been the happiest time of his life. Yet he couldn’t seem to get excited about their future when his past had come back to haunt him so vividly.

He couldn’t begin to think of starting a family now when he was still reeling from the news of his father’s death. The impact of losing the only parent he’d known had been greater than he’d ever imagined but not because he was grieving the loss of the man who’d raised him. His sorrow was for the childhood he’d been denied and the one he’d suffered instead. The one he now couldn’t escape in his head and that wouldn’t let him enjoy married life in peace.

Everything he had worked so hard to achieve seemed like a lie now that he was forced to face who he really was behind the career and success he’d built for himself. It wouldn’t be fair to bring a baby into existence when he was struggling to hold his own together. He could never hope to give a child a happy, secure home now when his world felt as though it was crashing down around him.

Lucas scrubbed away his self-pity and shut off the shower. None of this was fair on Freya. A normal husband would’ve told his wife his estranged father had finally succumbed to liver disease and had someone to endure the funeral with him. He would have given her the reason he was so against the idea of bringing a baby into the middle of his personal turmoil—he was afraid of becoming his father’s son and ruining another childhood. Except his relationship with his father had been so toxic he hadn’t wanted the ugliness of it to taint her. Freya was so idealistic about their marriage and how the next phase of their life together should play out he didn’t want to destroy that rosy vision with the disturbing reality behind his.

He should’ve known it would take more than time and distance to truly escape the man’s clutches.

When Lucas had received the call about his father’s passing, he’d been forced to think about the man he’d been and had instantly been transported to a time he’d done his best to forget. Now, every time he closed his eyes he was overwhelmed by memories he’d tried to suppress, until even his waking moments were dominated by dark thoughts and a need to escape them.

Freya was the only one saving him from total despair but he was drowning in his own misery and now, more than ever, she was drifting just out of reach as she fussed around, trying to make his house the home he’d never had.

Her talk of babies and family was only natural when he’d never spoken out against it but these past days had reminded him it was an impossible ask. Whilst his mind raged with the fear and injustice of his youth, he could never be the husband, or potential father, Freya assumed she’d married.

By the time he’d changed and come back downstairs she was plating up an early Christmas dinner for him to sample, but as much as he wanted to play along with this game of make-believe, the level of effort she’d gone to to try to please him only served to remind him of everything he’d missed out on. He could no longer force himself to fit into this kind of cosy Christmas scene since his father had managed to crash in and destroy the illusion. It was too late for him to find any enjoyment in it now. At this moment he didn’t think he’d find joy in anything ever again.

‘I thought we could each open an early present from under the tree. We always used to have a Christmas Eve present at home. Usually pyjamas.’ Freya sat down at the opposite end of the dinner table still bubbling with excitement as though she expected Father Christmas to drop down the chimney any second. He’d never had any such delusions as a child or a grown-up.

‘Sounds good.’ If he’d known that was a thing he would’ve done a little more retail preparation to make her happy but this was all new to him. He’d never given much thought to gift giving other than a token gesture but the pile of presents she’d assembled beneath the tree would rival any window display on Edinburgh’s Royal Mile.

‘I know we’d planned a quiet day, but I thought maybe, if it’s okay with you, we could drive over to my mum and dad’s after lunch tomorrow. We’ve hardly seen them since the wedding.’

‘I thought we were supposed to be spending it on our own?’ Lucas’s knife and fork clattered to the floor along with his stomach, the last of his appetite quickly disappearing. The last thing he wanted to do was spend the day with her seemingly perfect family when he’d just buried the only sorry excuse for a parent he’d ever had.

‘I know. I just thought it might be nice to see them and break up the day a little...’

In that second he could see the disappointment in her big brown eyes that he wasn’t enough to make her happy. Christmas was a symbol of everything that was important to her—family. The one thing he’d learned to live without but which was everything to her.

Freya loved being with her parents, couldn’t wait to be one herself, and he didn’t want to be that dark shadow hanging over either her life or their child’s, at any time of the year. What if he turned out like his father, unable to show any emotion other than hate? He was already on that path, distancing himself from his wife’s love in the present to focus on the bitterness of his past. She deserved better than a man who wasn’t strong enough to separate himself from a frightened little boy intimidated by his father.

Lucas rose from the table with a quiet acceptance he was no longer the man she’d agreed to marry and spend the rest of her life with, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Their love might be physically keeping them together but it would ultimately tear them apart inside, forcing this relationship to work when they both wanted, needed, such different things.

‘I’m sorry, Freya. I can’t do this any more.’ The words were ripped from his aching heart, leaving a hole in his chest he knew would never heal.

He couldn’t be responsible for anyone else’s life when he wasn’t sure he wanted his own any more. It was getting too damn difficult to imagine a time when he would no longer be in pain and he didn’t want the same for Freya or the child she expected them to raise in this mess.

This was the only way to save them both, even though it might seem like intolerable cruelty tonight. It was painful now but hopefully, with time, Freya would realise it was the right thing for him to do. She was young and idealistic, with the kind of open heart that would help her find love again, where his had been flawed from the start. He’d never been able to fully give himself to her or the relationship when he’d been holding back the truth about his parentage.

‘Lucas? I’m sorry... We don’t have to go if you don’t want to... Lucas?’

He got as far as the door before he heard her quickening footsteps behind him in the hallway but he daren’t look back. His knees were already weak, his chest so unbearably tight that he couldn’t even trust himself to speak without collapsing to the floor.

Leaving was the best present he could think of to give her. She could still have all those things she wanted, just with someone else. He’d be a lost cause for ever when he was walking away from the best thing that would ever happen to him but he should never have expected to have everything he’d ever wanted.

His father had been right all along. He was a useless waste of space.

CHAPTER ONE

Ten months later

FREYA ADJUSTED THE jingle bells on her hat, straightened her elf ears and pulled up her stripy stockings. Christmas was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year and she was determined to make sure of it for the kids of Princes Street Children’s Hospital. It didn’t matter a jot it was only October when they were on their way to Lapland to see the beloved man in the red suit. While she was there she’d make sure to remind him he owed her big style for last year.

‘Feeling Christmassy yet?’ Gillian, her nursing colleague from the emergency department and fellow elf for the weekend, came to join her at the front of the plane to welcome on board the excited children and volunteers along with the flight staff.

‘I’m doing my best.’ It was difficult to get into the spirit since everything she’d once loved about this time of year now reminded her of her husband walking out of their marriage and the worst period of her life. However, this wasn’t about her, so she plastered on the jolliest smile she could muster and handed out candy canes with a ‘Merry Christmas!’ to the special group of sick children the hospital had chosen for the charity trip.

‘Well, you certainly look the part.’ Gillian gave a little wolf whistle that had Freya tugging on the furry white hem of her green velvet dress.

‘I knew it was too short. That’s what happens when you’re forced to shop in the kids’ department.’ Everything in the costume store had swamped her petite frame but she guessed her height was the reason she’d been chosen to be one of Santa’s helpers in the first place. Well, that and her extensive nursing experience, which made her a vital part of this group.

Without a very skilled medical team these poorly children would never get to leave Edinburgh. Such was the seriousness of some of their conditions there were a few of them who rarely left the hospital. That was why this trip was so magical, so important to the families and to her when she saw many of them time and time again in the emergency department. She would simply have to set aside her own heartache and loneliness around the season to make this memorable for everyone.

‘You look gorgeous. With any luck you might even catch the eye of a reindeer herder over here and decide not to come back.’

Freya was forced to bite her lip until the young passengers were out of earshot. There was no room for disappointment or disillusionment on this trip and her love life definitely fell into those categories.

‘Men are definitely off my wish list for the foreseeable future. I barely survived the last one. All I want for Christmas is to forget about Lucas Brodie and remind myself I’m Freya Darrow—the woman who is Christmas personified, not some sad and lonely divorcee who spent last year crying into her eggnog.’ So they weren’t officially divorced, but since she hadn’t seen Lucas again from the moment he’d walked out on her, Freya had eventually had to accept the marriage was over. She’d reverted back to her maiden name when she’d decided to rid all traces of him from her life once and for all.

In those heady days of their intense romance, she supposed they’d never taken the time to find out about each other beyond who they’d become as a couple. So physically wrapped up in each other and the idea of being together to care about anything else, they’d left no space for her to confide in him about the loss she’d suffered as a teenager or for him to share his apparently opposing views on starting a family. During the early days of their marriage she’d been so happy she hadn’t wanted to spoil anything by reopening the old wounds of her past, naively believing everything would simply fall into place.

Then, when Lucas’s moods had become unpredictable, she’d been afraid to upset either of them any more by bringing up the issue, unaware that while she’d been making plans for a family he had already been plotting an escape route. He’d given up on them before even admitting there’d been a problem; without even trying to resolve whatever issue which had been so great he’d seen no other option rather than to leave. It made her doubt if the strength of her feelings for him and investment in their relationship had ever been reciprocated.

‘I’m glad to see you back to your old self but, ah, there is something about Lucas I should probably tell you...’

‘I don’t want to know. I’m only thinking happy thoughts this weekend.’ Freya refused to let further mention of him steal what little there was left of her enthusiasm for the season and shoved the end of a candy cane in her mouth for a peppermint sugar hit. The rumours Lucas was back, working in their sister hospital across the city, had reached her ears too but she didn’t want to think about it. Not now when she was just starting to pull her own life back together.

It wasn’t so long ago she’d spent Christmas making tearful phone calls around hospitals and friends, trying to find out if he was even still alive. There’d been several days of sheer panic and disbelief before she’d heard he’d gone on sick leave from work and didn’t want to be contacted. Apparently that had included her. To this day she still didn’t know if there’d been someone else, or if her talk of starting a family had made him have serious second thoughts about spending the rest of his life with her. He hadn’t done her the courtesy of ever explaining himself. Not that it would change what had happened now when she was finally trying to move on.