Surrogate and Wife

She wiped her fingers on her napkin and tossed it to the side of her plate. “Fine. The baby is not your problem. None of this has anything to do with you.”

“Ah, come on. Even you have to admit it has at least a little to do with me.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, your part was very important. I certainly didn’t mean to belittle your contribution of spending thirty minutes in a locked room with a plastic cup, but I daresay you’ve done enough. This end of the deal—” she gestured to her belly “—is all my responsibility.”

Suddenly he didn’t feel like teasing her anymore. “You don’t have to do it all on your own.”

She cleared her throat. He could practically see her struggling for a flip response, but in the end, her answer came out sounding as serious as his had. “Yes, I do.”

“But—”

“Look, even if your intentions are good, we’re talking about the next six months of your life. You’re bound to get bored of playing house.”

“I’m not—”

“I didn’t mean that as an insult,” she reassured him. “We’re talking about half a year of giving up your spare time to coddle a pregnant woman. You’d have to be a saint to do that. And, let’s face it, you’re no saint.”

“You have no idea,” he said, unable to shake from his consciousness all the sinful things he’d like to do to her.

He knew this discussion was affecting her as much as it did him, because her voice sounded brusque when she replied, “Which only proves my point. Do you really think you’re going to want to spend your time off doing my laundry when you could be out on a date? Right now, all this pregnancy stuff may seem fascinating, but, trust me, the novelty will wear off.”

“And you think I won’t stick around after the novelty wears off.”

“I’m not about to start depending on you now, only to find out you won’t.”

He leaned back in his seat and stretched his arm across the back of the booth. “You don’t have a very high opinion of me, do you?”

“Don’t take it personally. There aren’t a lot of people I do have a high opinion of.”

“That’s a pretty cynical attitude.”

“Not cynical. Realistic. Every day at work, I see people at their absolute worst. I know what men—and women—are capable of. How they can hurt and betray the people they claim to love the most. If there’s one thing I’ve learned after four years on the bench, it’s that the only person you can really trust is yourself.”

“What about Beth and Stew?”

“Of course I trust them. But I certainly don’t expect them to take care of me. Especially not now that they’ve got their own baby on the way. I’ll be fine on my own. Just like I’ve always been.”

And with that she grabbed her purse, dropped a twenty on the table and scooted out of the booth. She left the restaurant without even a backward glance.

He stared at the money for a minute before the irony sank in. This was the biggest commitment he’d ever tried to make to a woman and she hadn’t even let him buy her dinner.

After he dropped his own twenty on the table, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Stew.

“You were right,” he said as soon as Stew answered.

“I told you she wouldn’t go for it.”

“She sounded insulted.”

Stew chuckled. “Of course she was insulted. Basically, you told a grown woman you thought she couldn’t take care of herself. Not just any grown woman, either. This is Kate we’re talking about here. She’s been on her own a long time and she’s always prided herself on her competence. Which you just questioned.”

“Not exactly.” At least, he didn’t think he had. “I think she doesn’t like me.”

“No, she probably doesn’t. You haven’t made a very good impression on her.”

Great. Of all the women he’d known in his life, and gotten along with just fine, the one who didn’t like him at all was the one carrying his baby.

He’d been eight years younger and stupider when they first met. Too young to know that some women found charm suspicious. It hadn’t helped that she’d been so much fun to tease. She’d never gotten past that first impression of him and he’d never made the effort to convince her he wasn’t a total jerk.

“What’re you going to do now?” Stew asked.

“Not much I can do. The ball’s in her court. If she can’t see the logic of my offer, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Then he muttered, “Why couldn’t she be more like Beth? Beth would have said yes.”

Stew chuckled. “Because Beth is a one-of-a-kind woman.”

So was Kate, Jake couldn’t help thinking a few minutes later as he tucked the phone back into his pocket and made his way to his car.

Kate was unlike any woman he’d ever met. Tough, cynical and stubborn. Boy, she was stubborn.

He knew he was right—she would need help in the coming months—but he had no idea how to convince her of that. Still, he couldn’t help admiring her for clinging so passionately to her independence. She was a complex and intriguing woman. Way too intriguing.

Under the circumstances, he should probably be thanking his lucky stars she’d refused his offer. He was off the hook. Not even Stewart could say he hadn’t tried.

So why couldn’t he shake the feeling that something really important had just slipped through his fingers?

He couldn’t explain—not even to himself—why he wanted so desperately to be a part of this pregnancy. Surely his offer to help Kate was nothing more than that. Help. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with this inexplicable pull she suddenly had over him.

Shaking his head, he shoved the thought aside. As he steered his car toward home, he knew he should be rejoicing in his freedom. And he didn’t let himself wonder why he wasn’t.

Her week—which had started out so badly—only got worse.

From the news about Beth’s pregnancy, to the bizarre dinner with Jake, to this—being called on the carpet by Judge Hatcher first thing Thursday morning.

Two years ago Hatcher had been elected a district judge on a platform of conservative family values. Since associate district judges like Kate were merely appointed, Hatcher was essentially her boss. She wasn’t happy about it, since they shared years of barely concealed animosity, dating all the way back to when they’d both worked in the Georgetown D.A.’s office. However, since he had the power to make her life very difficult, and since she knew this position was only a stepping-stone to further his political ambitions, she’d stayed out of his way. Until now.

As she made her way back to her chambers in the courthouse annex, she struggled to calm herself. She found Kevin Thompson, the other associate district judge, waiting for her, noisily poking through the papers on her desk.

“How’d it go?”

Still feeling bristly, she glared at him. “How did you know about my meeting with Hatcher?”

“Are you kidding? In this office, gossip spreads like wildfire.”

She grimaced. As if she needed that reminder.

Kevin propped himself on the edge of her desk. “So, how did the meeting go? Did he just want to rake you over the coals a little?”

“It went about the same as all my meetings with him go. He was patronizing and rude. I kept my mouth shut.”

“Good girl. I know he drives you crazy, but it’s best to keep your head down and your nose clean. And look at it this way, in six months he’ll be out of here.”

She sank into her chair. “That’s not reassuring. In six months the elections will be over. If he’s out of here, that means he’s been elected to the Texas Supreme Court.”

Kevin shrugged. “True, but at least he’ll be out of our hair. And let’s face it, ever since he announced he was running, he’s been a pain in the patootie.”

Kate sighed. That was sure the truth.

Meeting Kevin’s gaze, she said, “He wants me to step aside and let him handle the McCain case.”

Kevin let out a low whistle. “Guess we should have seen that coming. Are you going to do it?”

“Step aside? No. Not if I can help it. That case has been on my docket for months now.”

“A high profile divorce like that? To be honest, I’m surprised this is the first time it’s come up.”

Roger and Shelia McCain had worked for a local personal computer company during the boom. The millions they’d made thrust them into the local limelight. Everyone in town wanted to know the details of their divorce settlement. “Until recently, it’s only made the local weekly,” she reasoned. “But now that the story is being picked up by the Austin American-Statesman and the Houston Chronicle, he can’t resist getting the press. Guess he figures it’s good for the campaign.”

“Good for the campaign? That kind of daily press would be worth a fortune. Maybe you should just let him handle it.”

She shot Kevin an incredulous look. “And let that viper turn those poor people’s divorce into a media circus about waning family values? Think about what that would do to them. Worse still to their kids. I’m not going to give him the case unless I don’t have any other options.”

“Oh, honey.” Kevin shook his head slowly. “Just be careful.”

“I won’t be bullied by him,” she insisted. “Sure, he can make my life difficult, but that won’t further his political ambitions.”

Kevin raised his eyebrows pointedly, as if she’d missed something obvious.

“What else can he do?” she asked with false cheer. “It’s not like he can fire me.” Her chuckle died in her throat when Kevin didn’t join in. “You think he’s going to fire me? That’s ridiculous. Even he wouldn’t try to have someone removed from the bench. Would he?”

“I think if you gave him a reason to he would. Especially if he could pin you with something morally questionable. Think about it, you’d be the first associate district judge fired in over forty years. It’d be all over the press, so it’d be a chance to remind everyone of the hyperconservative values he stands for.”

She studied her friend. “Are you worried about your job?”

“Me?” He shrugged. “Not really. I’m very careful, and you’re the only one around here who knows.” Kevin didn’t dare utter the word gay in these conservative halls. “Besides, it’s not me he hates. And if he gets rid of you, he could swoop in, take over the McCain case and maximize his media exposure.”

As she listened to Kevin, she felt a sinking sensation deep in her stomach. What if he was right? What if Hatcher was just looking for a reason to fire her?

She’d been perfectly behaved, perfectly respectable her entire life. Except…

Except now she was pregnant. With no plans of marrying.

Back when she’d first agreed to be Beth and Stew’s surrogate, it had seemed a simple enough matter. Of course, that was a full five months ago, before Hatcher had announced his plans to run for the Supreme Court. Yes, it had occurred to her that some of her more conservative colleagues might raise their eyebrows, but surely no one could fault her for being a surrogate mother for her sister. But now that Beth was pregnant herself, would people question Kate’s pregnancy?

Kevin must have read the distress on her face, but he hastened to reassure her. “Don’t worry, hon. You’re way too smart to give him a reason.”

Kevin’s reassurances did little to pacify her fears. “What if I had done something wrong?”

“You?” Kevin raised his eyebrows. “Little Miss Perfect you? You haven’t made a misstep in decades.”

“Hypothetically, let’s say I did do something…questionable in Hatcher’s view. He’s just one judge. Wouldn’t he have to convince the other seven district judges in order to get me removed?”

“I’d say it all depends on whether they think your ‘questionable’ behavior impairs your abilities or position of authority. In this conservative political environment, it might not take much. Especially with Hatcher focusing his campaign on moral values. The last thing the other judges want is to appear morally lax. Good thing for you you’re squeaky clean, right?”

She smiled lamely and hoped it didn’t look too much like a grimace. “Right. Lucky me.”

By the time Kevin left for court, Kate’s head was reeling. All she could do was stare numbly at her desk, asking herself over and over again, Could he be right?

Unfortunately, the only answer she could come up with was Yes. Very soon she was going to appear to be an unmarried mother-to-be. That seemed like exactly the kind of morally questionable behavior Hatcher would use against her.

Three

Standing outside Jake’s apartment, waiting for him to answer the door, Kate was practically shaking in her boots. Or she would have been if she’d been wearing boots. As it was, she was merely shaking in her sensible, size-nine black pumps.

“Can we talk?” she blurted out when the door finally opened.

Jake stared at her blankly for a long moment.

Long enough for her to be reminded how handsome he was. How purely masculine. Of course, it didn’t help matters that he was bare-chested.

But the thing that really got to her, that actually made her heart stop beating for a second, was how the sheer size of him made her feel feminine. Delicate. Almost frail, even.

She was a solid five-nine, barefoot. No one made her feel delicate.

No one except Jake.

She didn’t like the feeling one bit. And she couldn’t help wishing that Beth and Stewart had picked some other man to be the donor. Someone who didn’t make her feel so distinctly at a disadvantage. Preferably someone who didn’t make her feel anything.

Someone who didn’t look as if he’d just tumbled out of bed.

“Oh, God,” she muttered, finally breaking the silence. “You’re not alone.” The naked chest, the disheveled hair, the sleepy stupor. She’d have put it all together sooner if she hadn’t been so distracted by the…well, the naked chest and disheveled hair. Mortification spread through her and she spun on her heel to leave. “I’ll come back another time. Or better yet, just forget I ever came here.”

But before she could make it even a few steps, he grabbed her by the arm.

“Oh, no, you don’t. You got me out of bed. You might as well say whatever it is you came here to say.”

“I…”

He pulled her into the apartment, not roughly, but with enough force to remind her—again—how much stronger he was. Toeing the door shut, he wheeled her around to face him.

“I, um…” she began again, only to have all thoughts evaporate the instant she realized how close she was to his bare chest.

“What’s wrong? You look…sick, or something.”

Or something, indeed. “I’m a little faint,” she lied, pulling her arm from his grasp. “I’ve been having dizzy spells lately.” Which wasn’t entirely untrue. He did make her head spin.

He reached for her arm again, carefully steering her to the nearby leather sofa. “You should sit. Can I get you something to drink? Water? No, wait, milk. Can I get you a glass of milk?”

Great. Here she was wrestling with this unexpected attraction to him, and he wanted to make sure she was properly hydrated. Just great.

“No, nothing. Look, I’m sorry I interrupted your…evening. I should have called first.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything. I was asleep.” He smiled wryly as he grabbed a flannel shirt that had been left dangling over the back of a chair. He slipped into the shirt, buttoning enough for modesty, but not enough to block the occasional glimpse of his muscles. “Alone.”

“Oh. I see.” Except she wasn’t sure she did. It was Friday night. And it was only nine-thirty.

He must have noticed her looking at her watch because he explained, “I have to be at the firehouse pretty early in the morning.”

“Oh. Then I’m sorry I—”

“Why don’t you stop apologizing and go back to the part where you said we need to talk.”

He lowered himself into the club chair beside the sofa. Again he seemed entirely too close.

“I…um…” The words caught in her throat, trapped there by a giggle rising to the surface. This was absurd, but so was the question she couldn’t see a way out of asking. So finally she just said, “Will you marry me?”

Jake froze, his expression blank for the second time this evening. Then shock registered, and his voice rose sharply as he asked, “What?”

“I need to get married.” Then she added in a rush, “And you did offer to help out with the pregnancy. You said you’d do anything you could.”

“I meant I’d help with your laundry. I didn’t think you’d want to get married.”

“You said you would help.”

“Sure, but married? You want to get married?”

“It’d be a marriage in name only,” she reassured him. “Just until after the baby is born. Maybe not even that long.”

“Let me see if I’ve got this right. Four days ago you didn’t even want me to do your grocery shopping, and now you want to get married?”

“Yes. Well, not exactly.” She frowned, trying to sort through the logic of her proposal. “See, here’s the thing. There’s a slight chance that if I have this baby out of wedlock, I’ll be fired.”

She watched his expression carefully, looking for any hint of his emotions, but he remained stoic. After several seconds he asked, “How slight?”

“Slight-ish.”

“Can you give it to me in a percentage?”

“Maybe forty…” She paused, then added honestly. “Ninety percent.”

For another several seconds, he stared at her, then he sprang to his feet and marched to the kitchen. She heard him open and close the refrigerator door. A minute later he reappeared with a bottle of beer, half of which was already gone, as if he’d had to take several fortifying gulps before facing her again.

He rested his shoulder against the doorway to the kitchen and leveled his gaze at her. “So there’s a ‘slight’ ninety percent chance you’ll get fired when you have this baby and you didn’t think to mention it until now?”

“I didn’t think it wasn’t an issue before Beth and Stew got pregnant.” As briefly as she could, she explained about Hatcher’s bid for a seat on the Texas Supreme Court and his moral-values campaign. “So you see, being a surrogate mother for your sister who can’t get pregnant could be considered noble. Claiming to be a surrogate for your sister who’s already noticeably more pregnant than you is definitely suspicious.”

He eyed her doubtfully. “You really think anyone will even notice that you and Beth are pregnant at the same time?”

“Yes, I do. Beth and Stew know a lot of people. Half the town shops in their health food store. Trust me, people are going to notice she’s pregnant.”

“So, you just have to explain the situation. Most people will believe you.”

She sighed. “You’re right, of course. Most people will. But Hatcher doesn’t have to convince ‘most people’ in order to get me fired.”

“Do you have some kind of morality clause or something in your contract?”

“I’m an associate district judge,” she explained. “We’re appointed by the district judges. We don’t have contracts.”

“This Judge Hatcher can just fire you on a whim? His decision doesn’t have to be based on your performance? That’s bull.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Even under the circumstances, she couldn’t help being a little amused by his vehement reaction. “Of course, it’s not his decision alone. There are eight district judges total. They’d have to vote on it. All Hatcher really has to do is call a press conference questioning my morality. A public outcry from a few concerned citizens would be enough. He only needs a simple majority to vote me out of office. That’s just four other people.”

“And you think he can convince them?”

“I think it’s possible. He doesn’t even have to convince them that what I’ve done is wrong. He just has to convince them that supporting me could risk their reputations. With reelections right around the corner, how many judges do you think will stand against him?”

Jake didn’t answer, but the clenching of his jaw muscle said it all. The situation pissed him off almost as much as it did her.

“He’ll have to convince the other district judges that I’m morally unfit to preside over a court of law, but—” she shrugged “—Williamson County is one of the most conservative counties in the state, maybe even the country. If there’s anywhere being labeled an unwed mother could cost me my job, it’s here.”

He didn’t argue with her, which only confirmed that she was right. The simple truth was that people held judges to a higher standard of behavior. And Kate, for one, expected no less.

“I still don’t see how our getting married will help things. You think people will notice that you and Beth are pregnant at the same time, but not notice six months from now when we get divorced and they adopt your child? You don’t think anyone will question your morality then?”

“That’s just it,” she countered. “By the time I have the baby in November, the elections will be over. Regardless of the outcome, Hatcher could no longer use me as a pawn in his or anyone else’s campaign.” She sensed she’d almost swayed him, so she added, “It’d only be until November.”

After a long moment of studying her, he shook his head ruefully. “Look, the situation sucks, but—”

She stood. “You said you would help.”

“I know I did, but—”

She crossed the room until she was standing right in front of him. “You said you would do anything you could to help out.”

“I know. And you said you didn’t trust me to stick around.”

“So prove me wrong.” She met his gaze head-on. As disturbing as it was to stare into his eyes at this range, she didn’t let herself blink.

“What makes you think I’ll make an even halfway decent husband?”

“I don’t need you to be a decent husband. I just need a ceremony and a ring.”

He chuckled. “Lowered your standards a bit, have you?”

“Don’t make this harder than it is.”

If possible, his smile broadened. Apparently whatever panic he’d initially felt had dissipated. “Why shouldn’t I? You certainly made my initial offer to help difficult.”

Only Jake could find humor in this situation. “I was surprised,” she said through gritted teeth. “That’s all.”

“‘Are you insane?’ I believe those were your words.”

Hearing him parrot her words back to her, she felt ashamed by how badly she’d treated him. Yet he didn’t seem hurt. Didn’t even seem angry. If anything, he seemed amused.

“Don’t you take anything seriously?” she asked, suddenly feeling peevish.

“Very little.”

“Not even insults to your mental stability?”

He just shrugged. “I’ve heard a lot worse than anything you can come up with, Katie.”

She spun on her heel, needing to put distance between them. “This is never going to work. You’re not the crazy one. I am.”

But before she could make a move, he was beside her, his hand on her shoulder, easing her back to her spot on the sofa. “Hey, calm down. I was just teasing.”

“Well, stop. This isn’t the time or the place. What we’re talking about is very serious.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.” She desperately wanted to jump to her feet and pace. But doing so would probably mean being touched by him again. Since she wasn’t willing to risk that, she scooted to the far corner of the sofa, then crossed her legs to keep herself from tapping her foot. “If we’re going to do this, we need to be as businesslike about this as possible. We need rules. Boundaries.”

Shirts that buttoned all the way up, she thought, wisely keeping it to herself.

“Gee, you’re just suckin’ all the fun right out of this.”

If his amused expression was an indication, she hadn’t sucked any of the fun out of it for him.

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. That’s what makes it so damn cute.”

“Cute?” She wasn’t cute. No one called her cute. She was a judge, for goodness’ sake. Judges weren’t cute. She was pretty sure that edict had been written into the Texas Constitution.

“Now, don’t get all huffy on me,” he said in his most placating tone.

“I am not getting huffy.”

“Sure you are.”

“No, I’m—” She sucked in a deep breath. “This is exactly why we need boundaries.”