Megan's Marriage

They stared at each other, both of them breathing unevenly. Her heart felt as though it were going to leap out of her chest.

“It was just a kiss, Megan. That’s all,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, and Carlsbad Caverns is just a hole in the ground. That’s all,” she said, mimicking him.

“That’s true,” he replied, smiling.

She spun away and began to busy herself with making some sandwiches, doing her best to forget how she’d felt when Travis kissed her.

“I take it you don’t want me to kiss you,” he finally said in the silence that stretched between them.

She bit down on her lower lip, knowing that she couldn’t lie to him, but not knowing exactly what the truth was. Continuing to keep busy with their meal, she said, “It isn’t that. I—It’s just that—I mean, I don’t have a lot of experience in these things, and…” She couldn’t think of how to continue.

He kept his distance from her when he said, “And you think that I mind? Just because you’re innocent doesn’t mean—”

She turned and glared at him. “I’m not innocent!” She closed her eyes and swallowed. Now she was really giving him the wrong idea about her! She opened her eyes and tried again. “I mean—What I meant was that anyone raised on a ranch knows all about reproduction and sex and—Well, you know what I mean. It’s just that—” She waved her hand helplessly, not knowing how to explain how confused she was feeling at the moment.

He watched her intently. “Yeah, you’ve told me. You haven’t done much dating. I understand.”

She turned back to the counter, picked up the plate of sandwiches she’d prepared and carried it to the table. After refilling their glasses she motioned for him to sit down. “I don’t know what you expect from me, that’s all,” she finally muttered, sitting down across from him and looking everywhere but at him.

He reached for a sandwich and put it on his plate. “I don’t expect anything you don’t want to give,” he said in a careful tone of voice. “I realize that what I’m suggesting isn’t the usual way of doing things.”

“It’s crazy, that’s what it is. Who’s going to believe it? It doesn’t make any sense. I can’t believe I’m actually considering it!” She took a big bite out of her sandwich, concentrating on eating and trying to distance herself from the familiar stranger across the table from her. How could she know somebody so well and yet not know him at all? How could she hate him—well, resent him anyway—for not noticing her when he was the big man on campus and she had so wanted him to see her as a young woman, and not the tomboy he’d pestered on the bus for years. She’d been invisible to him then. So why now? Why was this happening all these years later?

“I have a suggestion,” he said, after finishing one of the sandwiches and reaching for another.

“What?” she asked suspiciously.

“I think we should keep the arrangement we’ve made just between the two of us. I think we’ll both be more comfortable that way. Why don’t we tell our families that we suddenly discovered our true feelings for each other and—”

“Nobody’s going to believe that! Everybody knows that I—That is, that we—uh—”

“Yes?”

“What I mean is, we’ve never even been seen together.”

“So maybe I’ve been writing you.”

“The girls know better.”

“Maybe I finally got up the nerve to confront you and admit how I feel about you.”

She covered her mouth and began to laugh, shaking her head. “Oh, no. The girls would see right through that!”

“Not if you helped me.”

“How?”

He watched her, his distinctive eyes glowing. “By pretending a little that you care for me, that we both want this.”

“Your folks will-”

“I’ll take care of my folks. You don’t need to worry about them.”

“Oh.” She looked at the forgotten sandwich on her plate. She realized that although her stomach had been growling she was no longer hungry.

“When do you want to get married?”

She jerked her head up. “I—uh—”

“If you want to wait a while and let everyone get used to the idea, that’s fine with me. An engagement would look more normal, anyway.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“I want you to be comfortable with the idea.”

Her thoughts raced in all directions at once. “Well, if I’m going to make the mortgage payment on time—”

“You don’t have to marry me before you get the money. I’ll write you a check tonight that should cover it, plus whatever else you’re going to need for a while.”

“But I don’t want you to think—”

“Don’t worry about my thoughts, okay? Or my feelings. This is a straightforward business deal. I’m going to be going back out on the circuit next week and will be gone several weeks.” He paused, thinking. “Maybe we should announce our engagement now. I’ll get you a ring to wear, and we can start to plan the wedding. I assume you want to be married in the church.”

“The church?” she squeaked. “But isn’t that—I mean, for a business arrangement isn’t that being a little—” She waved her hand helplessly.

“It’s going to be a real marriage, Megan. Don’t you think it needs to start out in the church?”

This must be the way Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole. “But knowing it’s only going to be for a year makes it seem like a sham, somehow. I mean, if everybody’s there to see us get married, aren’t they going to wonder later why we decide to part?”

He washed the last bite of his third sandwich down with a long swallow of tea before replying. “In the first place, it’s none of their business. In the second place, the way things are these days, more marriages than not end up that way.”

She thought about that for a moment. “I suppose,” she acknowledged.

“This way you’ll have time to find a dress and decide what your sisters will wear.”

All of this was coming too fast and furious for her. Her head was swimming. “A dress! Travis, I haven’t worn a dress since my high school graduation!”

He grinned. “Well, maybe you can make an exception this one time. Of course if you feel more comfortable wearing your boots beneath it, go ahead.”

Megan forced herself to eat her sandwich while Travis chatted on as though he planned weddings on a regular basis and there wasn’t anything difficult about it. When she finished eating, he helped her clean up their dishes.

“Do you want me to be here when you tell the girls?” he asked, folding the dish towel he’d used and carefully hanging it on the rack.

“Uh, no,” she said quickly, jolted by the mere thought. “No, I can tell them. I’ve just got to decide how to bring it up.”

He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the kitchen counter. “We could go to town tomorrow and look at rings.”

She hid her hands behind her back. “Do you really think that’s necessary?”

“Rings?” he asked, lifting his brow slightly. “Yes, I do.”

“I mean, if we go into Agua Verde to look for rings, everybody in town will know about it within the hour.”

He grinned, reminding her of the mischievous boy he’d once been. Not a good omen at all, in her mind. “Well, that’s one way of getting the news out.”

She dropped her gaze to the floor, feeling horribly out of her element. She had no problem discussing anything at all about the ranch or the girls, but rings? Weddings? Marriage? She’d never given them a thought.

“Or…we could drive into Austin, if you like. We could make a day of it, maybe see a show. You know, make an occasion of it. Surely you can stay out late for one night.”

She looked up and caught his intent gaze. “Why are you doing this, Travis? I don’t understand. Why are you willing to tie yourself up in such a fashion? Surely you’ve met women during your travels that—”

“None that I’d marry.”

“But still-”

“I always intended to marry a hometown girl, didn’t you know?” he said, grinning once again.

“Then why didn’t you marry Carrie Schwarz? You dated her most of your senior year.”

He looked startled. “Carrie? Isn’t she married?”

“She is now, but she waited for you for years.”

He laughed. “I doubt that.”

“No. She did. She went away to college, but came home as often as she could, hoping to find you here. She found out during the Christmas holidays that first year that you were seeing Trish Kronig whenever you were in town.”

“You sure have a memory for names. I’d forgotten both of those girls.”

She walked back to the window and looked outside. It was dark. The yard light near the barn gave off a faint glow. “I’m sure they haven’t forgotten you,” she said quietly, reminding herself how easily a heart could be broken. Hadn’t she congratulated herself for not being pretty enough to get his attention back then? Hadn’t she considered herself lucky that she’d never gone through what those girls had? Where was her sane, sensible self now, when she really needed her?

He picked up his hat. “All that was years ago, Megan. I was just a kid back then.”

She turned to face him. “But now you’re all grown-up, huh?”

He flashed his devastating smile, his eyes sparkling. “God! I hope so, since I’m making plans to get married and settle down.”

“But you aren’t giving up the rodeo,” she said pointedly.

“Well, no, not yet. I only have a few years to ride. The rodeo makes an old man out of you real quick.”

“Or kills you.”

He settled his hat on his head. “Not me. I’m too mean and too tough to die.” He opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch. “I’ll pick you up right after lunch tomorrow, if that’s okay with you?”

She paused for a moment. Now was the time to back out, if she was going to. Unfortunately she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that she was actually going to go through with this completely insane idea. Her options were limited. She’d prayed for a way to save the ranch and she’d been given one. The irony of her situation flooded over her.

She crossed her arms, hugging them against her. “All right, Travis. I’ll be ready,” she finally replied, silently acknowledging to herself that in all of her life she’d never made such a frightening decision. She and the girls wouldn’t lose the ranch, but marrying Travis Kane could end up costing her even more than her home in the long run.

Keeping her distance from him had protected her as a young girl. What could she use as protection now?

Three

Megan took a long, soaking bath after Travis left, trying to come to terms with what she had agreed to do. Eventually she got out and dried off, putting on her faded nightshirt and worn bathrobe, but she was too restless to go to sleep. Instead she curled up on the couch to watch television and wait for the girls to come home.

She was still on the couch, dozing, when she heard the family pickup truck coming up the lane. The thing rattled and roared, sounding more like a threshing machine than a vehicle for transportation.

She’d let Mollie take it into town last night, since both Mollie and Maribeth had wanted to spend the night with friends. They never complained about living twenty-five miles from town, but were always eager to go into town to visit their friends, or hang out at the local hamburger haven.

The girls didn’t complain about anything. She’d fought so hard to keep them when the county officials first suggested they might be placed in foster homes. She’d insisted that she could look after them and that with Butch’s help she could also run the ranch. After all, she’d been following her daddy around that ranch from the time she could walk. He’d have her sitting in the saddle in front of him on the back of his favorite mount or riding next to him in that old pickup.

She should have been a boy, but her dad never seemed to mind that he had girls. She remembered how he used to laugh when the other ranchers in the coffee shop would mention his harem.

There were times, like today, when the ache of missing her mom and dad was so painful she thought she might die from it. Maybe according to the calendar she was twenty-four years old, but she didn’t feel as if she’d ever gotten past sixteen when it came to knowing about men and how to socialize. In a few short hours her youthful teenage years had abruptly ended with the news that both parents had been killed in a fiery car crash outside of Fort Worth. Practically overnight she’d had to become both mom and dad to Mollie and Maribeth, as well as in charge of the Circle B Ranch. She’d had to become an adult in order to deal with all the officials who’d tried to separate the three of them. She’d fought hard to keep them all together—and she’d won. Tonight she’d made another decision to ensure her sisters’ continued well-being. Her peace of mind was a very small sacrifice to make to protect them.

The kitchen screen door squeaked as one of the girls opened it. Megan could hear Maribeth chattering away. She smiled. Maribeth was such a live wire. Whatever thought crossed her mind popped out of her mouth. She seemed to run through life with her arms flung open wide, ready to embrace the world and everything in it.

She wore her bright red hair streaming over her shoulders and down her back, pulled away from her face by a large hair clip. Her wide brown eyes were her most expressive feature, mirroring her every thought.

Maribeth had been eight when their parents had died.

Although Mollie was two years older than Maribeth, Megan thought of Mollie as being almost as old as she was. Maybe it was because she was the quiet one in the family. She’d always been close to Mama. After Mama died, Mollie seemed to become less talkative than ever.

She was good in the house, keeping the place clean, cooking their meals while she still kept up her schoolwork.

Mollie was so bright. She deserved the chance to go on to college. Megan had tried so hard to put money away for Mollie’s education but there had never been enough to stretch. Mollie would be graduating from high school in a few short weeks. She’d already found a job clerking in one of the stores in town, but Mollie deserved so much more in life.

She was the real beauty in the family, with her creamy white skin and dark, auburn hair. Her eyes looked too blue to be real, as if she wore tinted contacts. She never seemed to be aware of her looks and was the only one in town who was surprised when she’d been named homecoming queen the previous fall.

“Hi, Megan!” Maribeth said, bouncing into the room. “What are you doing up? You’re usually sacked out in bed by this time of night.” Maribeth threw herself into the big overstuffed chair across from Megan.

Megan made a face and grinned. “You make me sound like an ol’ grandma. I’ve been known to stay up past nine o’clock on occasions.”

Mollie paused in the doorway. “You want something to drink? I bought a six-pack of soda.”

She glanced around, still smiling. “Mmm. Sounds good.”

“You’ll never guess who I saw in town today!” Maribeth announced dramatically, her eyes wide.

“Probably not,” Megan drawled. “So why don’t you tell me?”

“Travis Kane! I couldn’t believe it. Me and Bobby and Chris went to the post office for Bobby’s mom, and who should be walking out of the post office but Travis Kane, himself. You should have seen Bobby! He’s always dreamed of being able to ride wild bulls as well as Travis, not to mention his skill with calf roping. He was practically stuttering when Travis spoke to us.”

Mollie walked back in with three large glasses filled with ice cubes and soda. She offered one to Megan, who took one, then Mollie handed another to Maribeth.

“I know. Travis came out here today.”

Mollie looked around at her in surprise. “Travis Kane came out here? What in the world for?”

Instead of answering her, Megan looked at Maribeth. “Just what did you tell Travis about us, Maribeth?”

At least her youngest sister had the decency to blush. “Well, nothing, really. He was just asking about you and all and I told him—Well, I guess I may have mentioned that you were making yourself sick worrying about us maybe going to lose the ranch.”

Mollie sank down at the other end of the couch and stared at Maribeth. “Maribeth! You didn’t! You can’t go around telling everybody our business like that!”

“I wasn’t. Everybody already knows everything about us, anyway. It’s no secret that we’re probably going to lose the ranch. So what’s the big deal?”

Mollie shook her head in disgust. “Well, you don’t go around blabbing everything you know,” she replied.

Megan dropped her head back against the couch. “Oh, yes she does!” she said with a sigh.

“Well, he was asking about you and I was just trying to be polite and—”

“More than likely, you were trying to hold his attention just a little longer,” Mollie said. “You and Bobby would be charter members of his fan club if he had one.”

Maribeth swung her legs over the side of the chair. “Hey! That’s a great idea. Maybe we can start—”

“I was just joking,” Mollie said hastily. “Travis Kane certainly doesn’t need a fan club! His ego’s already big enough as it is.”

“You can say that again,” Megan muttered.

Maribeth stuck her bottom lip out. “I don’t know why y’all have to be so hateful about Travis. What has he ever done to make you both sneer at him so much?”

Megan shifted, pulling her knees up and resting her chin on them. She wasn’t comfortable with the turn in the conversation but she couldn’t think of any way to change the subject that wouldn’t be too obvious.

She was surprised when Mollie answered. She had seldom heard Mollie so vocal. “Because he thinks he’s God’s gift to women, that’s why. Always swaggering around in those tight jeans he wears, with his hat brim pulled down low over those fancy mirror sunglasses of his, giving all the girls that drop-dead gorgeous smile so they’ll swoon at his feet. I think he’s perfectly disgusting.”

Megan’s heart seemed to sink in her chest. “I had no idea you disliked him so,” Megan said quietly.

Mollie glanced around at her in surprise. “Well, you’ve never had much good to say about him, yourself! I remember when you were both in school, you used to come home complaining about him and calling him all kinds of names. Mama used to laugh at how mad you got at him, remember?”

“I was just a kid. He used to delight in teasing me on the school bus to and from school. Since it was almost an hour to get to town, he had plenty of time to think of ways to torment me.”

“Well,” Mollie replied, her cheeks flushed with color, “my friend Betsy told me about how he flirted with her older sister, carrying on until her sister fell in love with him, then he just dropped her like that, like she was nothing to him. He’s broken a lot of hearts in this county. I think he should go away and stay away!”

“Well, I think he’s definitely hunk-of-the-month material, myself,” Maribeth announced. “Just because you two don’t ever have any boyfriends doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate a good-looking specimen like Travis when you get the chance. Bobby says—”

Megan just shook her head. “Here we go again. If Bobby says it, it must be gospel, right?”

“Well, he knows rodeos. He and his dad are always going to them. He’s seen Travis compete and says he’s totally awesome. That’s why he was named World Champion last year.”

Megan uncurled herself from the couch and stood. “Well, I think I’m going to take myself off to bed. You’re really making me feel my years, Maribeth,” she said, ruffling her sister’s long wavy hair. “I take it you had a good time in town.”

“Oh, yeah. Rita’s a lot of fun. Her mom said to tell you that anytime I want to spend the night in town, that I can stay with them.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you didn’t totally wear out your welcome.”

She glanced at Mollie, caught her eye and nodded toward the hallway. “I’ll see y’all in the morning.”

Megan climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She hoped Mollie recognized her signal. She wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight until she talked to her and tried to explain.

She hadn’t realized Mollie’s feelings toward Travis were so strong or so negative. Megan knew that she had herself to blame for some of that. She’d never kept her disdain for Travis hidden from Mollie or anyone else around home. Now she was going to be forced to provide some kind of explanation for the change in her attitude—without giving the real one. If Travis preferred people not to know the truth, she owed him that much.

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