Vows Made in Secret

Liquid misery trickled through her. ‘That we had anything in common.’

He shook his head. ‘Like loyalty, you mean? Maybe you’re right. We certainly felt differently about that!’

‘You don’t need to tell me about the differences between us,’ she snapped, stung into speech by the censure in his voice. ‘I know all about them. They’re why our relationship didn’t work. Why it could never have worked.’

Her throat tightened as he looked at her coldly.

‘Our relationship didn’t fail because we were different. It failed because you cared more about those differences than you did about me,’ he snarled. ‘Tell me, pireni, how are you finding my communication skills now? Am I making myself clear enough?’

Her heart gave a sudden jerk as abruptly he turned and walked towards the fireplace.

For a moment she stood frozen, gazing speechlessly at his back. Anger was building inside her, displacing all other feeling, and suddenly she crossed the room and yanked him round to face her.

‘That’s not true! I did care—’ She broke off. Rage, hot and unstoppable, choked her words. ‘Don’t you dare try and tell me what I felt.’ She set her jaw, her eyes narrowing. ‘If I cared about the differences between us it was because, yes, I thought they mattered. Unlike you, I like to talk about the things that matter to me. And, crazy though this may sound, I try and tell the truth. But what would you know about that? The truth is like a foreign language to you.’

She watched his eyes darken with fury, the pupils seeming almost to engulf the golden irises.

‘The truth?’ he said savagely. ‘You left me because you thought I wasn’t good enough for you. That’s the truth. You’re just too much of a coward to admit it.’

Silently, Prudence shook her head. Not only because she was disagreeing with him but because she was too angry to speak. She hadn’t even known she could feel that angry.

Finally, she found her voice. ‘How dare you talk to me about the truth when we’re standing here in this castle? Your castle. A castle I didn’t even know existed until today.’ Her eyes flashed with anger. ‘And just because I wanted to talk about the leaks in the trailer and the fact that we didn’t have enough money to buy food for more than a couple of days didn’t mean I thought you weren’t good enough!’

‘Those things shouldn’t have mattered. They didn’t matter to me,’ Laszlo snarled.

‘I know!’ she snarled back at him. ‘But they did to me. And you can’t punish me for that fact. Or for the fact that it worried me: how we felt differently about things. We disagreed about stuff and that was going to be a problem for us sooner or later, only you wouldn’t admit it,’ she raged at him. ‘So it wasn’t me who was a coward. It was you.’

She took a sudden step backwards as he moved towards her; his face was in shadow but the fury beneath his skin was luminous.

‘I am not the coward here, Prudence,’ he said quietly, and his dispassionate tone was frighteningly at odds with the menacing gleam in his eyes.

Prudence felt her insides lurch. Beneath the chill of his gaze her courage and powers of speech wilted momentarily and she felt suddenly defeated. Suddenly she didn’t want to talk any more. What was the point? Judging by the last twenty minutes it would only hurt more than it healed.

When at last she spoke, her voice was defeated. ‘This is going nowhere,’ she said wearily. ‘I know you’re angry. We both are. But can’t we just put our past behind us? At least until after the cataloguing is complete?’

Laszlo stared at her, his eyes glittering with fury. ‘The cataloguing? Do you know what my grandfather’s collection means to him? Or why he decided to have it catalogued?’ He shook his head. ‘After everything that’s happened between us, do you really think I’d trust you, of all people—?’ He broke off and breathed out unsteadily.

Prudence felt a stab of fear. What was he trying to say? ‘But you can,’ she said shakily. ‘I’ll do a good job. You have my word.’

He winced as though she had ripped a plaster from a scab. ‘Your word?’ he repeated. He tilted his head. ‘Your word...’ he said again.

And this time the contempt on his face felt like a hammer blow. Her mouth had gone dry.

‘I—I only meant—’ she stammered, but he cut across her words with a voice like a flick knife.

‘It doesn’t matter what you meant. We both know that your word is worthless.’

‘What are you talking about?’

Balling his fists, feeling sick to his stomach, Laszlo shook his head. He felt an odd rushing sensation in his head, like a sort of vertigo, and words and memories hurtled past him like debris from an explosion. What kind of woman was she? He had long known her to be snobbish and weak-minded, but this—this refusal to acknowledge what she’d done—

His jaw tightened.

‘I honoured you with a gift. The most important gift a man can give to a woman. I made you my wife and you threw it in my face.’

Prudence gaped at him, shock washing over in waves. She opened her mouth to deny his claim but the words clogged her throat. His wife? Surely he didn’t really think that they were actually married? Her heart was pounding; the palms of her hands felt suddenly damp. Married? That was ridiculous! Insane!

Dazedly she thought back to that day when she’d been led, giggling and blindfolded, to his great-uncle’s trailer. Laszlo had been waiting for her. She felt a shiver run down her spine at the memory, for he’d looked heartbreakingly handsome and so serious she had wanted to cry. They’d sworn their love and commitment to one another, and his great-uncle had spoken some words in Romany, and then they had eaten some bread and some salt.

Coming out of her reverie, she stared hard at him wordlessly. There had been no actual marriage. It had been no more real than his love for her. But it had been part of the fantasy of their love. And now he was destroying that fantasy. Taking the memory of something beautiful, innocent and spontaneous and turning it into a means of hurting her.

Her vision blurred and she felt suddenly giddy, as though she were teetering on the edge of a cliff-face. ‘You’re despicable! Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to ruin that day?’

‘Ruin it?’ His features contorted with fury. ‘You’re the one who did that. By walking out on our marriage.’

Her pulse was fluttering and despite her best efforts her voice sounded high and jerky. ‘We’re not married,’ she said tightly. ‘Marriages are more than just words and kisses. This is just another of your lies—’

Her voice trailed off at the expression of derision on his face.

‘No. This is just the ultimate proof of how little you understood or respected my way of life. For you, my being Romany was just some whimsical lifestyle choice.’ He watched the blood suffuse her face and felt a spasm of pain. ‘You liked it that I was different—an outsider. But you didn’t expect or want me to stay like that. You thought I’d just throw it off, like a fancy dress costume, and become “normal” when it came to the rest of our lives.’ His eyes hardened. ‘That’s when you started whining about the mess and the moving around. But that’s what we do. It’s what I do.’

‘Except when you’re living in a castle,’ she said shakily.

His gaze held hers. ‘You’re going off topic, pireni. It doesn’t matter where I lived then or where I live now. We’re still married. I’m still your husband. And you’re my wife.’

She felt a stab of shock—both at the vehemence in his voice and at the sudden spread of treacherous heat at his possessive words.

Turning her head, she swallowed. ‘What happened in that trailer wasn’t a wedding, Laszlo. There were no guests. No vicar. No witnesses. We didn’t give each other rings. We didn’t even sign anything. It wasn’t a wedding at all and I’m not your wife.’

Laszlo forced himself to stay calm. He had too much pride to let her see that her horrified denial had reopened a wound that had never fully healed—a wound that had left him hollowed out with misery and humiliation.

Shaking his head, he gave a humourless laugh. ‘Oh, believe me, pireni, I wish you weren’t—but you are.’ His fingers curled into the palms of his hands. ‘In my culture a wedding is a private affair between a man and wife. We don’t register the marriage, and the only authority that’s needed for it to be recognised is the consent of the bride and groom.’

Prudence felt a vertigo-like flash of fear. She shook her head. ‘We’re not married,’ she croaked. ‘Not in the eyes of the law.’

The change in him was almost imperceptible. She might even have missed the slight rigidity about his jawline had the contempt in his eyes not seared her skin.

‘Not your law, maybe.’ He felt a hot, overpowering rage. ‘But in mine. Yes, we were married—and we still are.’

Closing her eyes, she felt a sudden, inexplicable sense of panic. Laszlo clearly believed what he was saying. Whilst she might have viewed the ceremony as a curious but charming dress rehearsal for the vintage-style white wedding she’d been planning, the marriage had been real to him. Nausea gripped her stomach. What did it really matter if there was no certificate? It didn’t mean that the vows they’d made were any less valid or binding.

Heat scorched her skin. What had she done? She looked up and his gaze held hers, and she saw that he was furious, fighting for control.

‘Laszlo, I didn’t—’

His voice was barely audible but it scythed through her words and on through her skin and bone, slicing into her heart.

‘This conversation is over. I’m sorry you had a wasted trip but your services are no longer required.’

Prudence looked at him in confusion, her face bleached of colour. ‘I—I don’t understand...’ she stammered. ‘What do you mean?’

Laszlo rounded on her coldly. ‘What do I mean?’ he echoed. ‘I mean that you’re fired—dismissed, sacked. Your contract is terminated and this meeting is over. As of this moment I never want to see your face again.’ He turned back towards the fire. ‘So why don’t you take your bags, turn around and get out of my house? Now.’

CHAPTER THREE

PRUDENCE FELT THE floor tilt towards her. She reached out and steadied herself against the back of an armchair. ‘You can’t do that,’ she said slowly. ‘You can’t just fire me.’

‘Oh, but I can.’

Laszlo turned and looked at her, full in the face, and a shudder raced through her as she saw to her horror that he meant it.

‘But that’s so unfair!’ Her voice seemed to echo around the room and she gazed at him helplessly.

‘I don’t care.’

He spoke flatly, his jaw tightening, and with a spasm of pain she knew that he didn’t. Knew too that it wouldn’t matter what she said or did and that it had probably never mattered. She had lost the job the moment Laszlo walked into the room. She just hadn’t realised that fact until now.

She stared at him, shock and disbelief choking her words of objection. But inside her head there was a deafening cacophony of protest. He couldn’t fire her. What would she tell Edmund? And what about their debts to the bank and the insurance company?

‘No.’

The word burst from her lips like a flying spear. Laszlo stared at her calmly. Firing her seemed to have lanced his fury and he seemed more puzzled than angry at her outburst.

‘No?’ he murmured softly. ‘No, what?’

She glared at him, her cheeks flooding with angry colour. ‘No, I won’t leave. I know I made a mistake, but it all happened years ago—and anyway you can’t fire me for that. Apart from anything else it’s got nothing to do with my ability to do this job.’

‘It’s got everything to do with your ability to do this job,’ Laszlo said coldly. ‘You lack conviction and loyalty and I don’t employ people without those qualities.’

Prudence sucked in a breath, hating him more than she had ever hated him before. ‘Stop it!’ she hissed. He was so self-righteous and hypocritical. How dare he act as if he had the moral high ground? He’d lied to her. And he was the one who’d broken the law and been arrested for who knew what! Perhaps he should examine his own failings first instead of focusing on hers.

She opened her mouth to tell him so and then closed it again. There was so much history in this room already. Why add more? She breathed out slowly.

‘Stop sitting in judgement on me! You’re not some innocent victim here, Laszlo. You lied. Maybe that doesn’t matter to you, but it does to me.’ She stopped, her breathing ragged. ‘Only I’m not using it to get at you. I wouldn’t stoop that low.’

Laszlo looked at her for one long, agonising moment.

‘Really?’ he said coolly. ‘I wonder...’ He ran his hand over the dark stubble grazing his chin. ‘Just how badly do you want this job, Prudence? Are you prepared to beg for it?’

She felt nausea clutch at her stomach. ‘You’re a monster!’ His eyes were cold and implacable.

‘This is payback! Firing you makes us quits, pireni! And, believe me, you’ve got off lightly. If there were still wolves in Hungary I’d throw you to them. So if I were you I’d walk out of here while you still can.’

Prudence stared at him, her chest blazing with anger. ‘What does that mean? Are you threatening me?’ she asked tightly.

Laszlo stared at her in silence, his eyes glittering with mockery. ‘Threatening you? Of course not. But this discussion is over, so I think you should accept that and walk away.’ His jaw tightened. ‘That shouldn’t be a problem for you. After all, you’ve had lots of practice.’

Anger swept through her. ‘Oh, you think you’re so clever, don’t you? Well, let’s get one thing clear. This discussion is not over.’

He gazed at her impassively in silence. Finally he said, almost mildly, ‘Then I suppose you’d better start talking. Although I’m not quite sure what difference you think it will make.’

She stared at him in confusion. How did he do that? Only moments earlier his anger had been incandescent beneath his skin. Now he was prepared to grant her an audience. It was impossible to keep up with him. She gritted her teeth. But hadn’t it always been this way between them, though? With her trying to chase the moods which ran like quicksilver through his veins?

She lifted her chin. But the blood was humming in her ears and she felt suddenly hot and stupid in the face of his cool composure. Was she just expected to somehow plead her case while he stood there like some hanging judge? Fixing her gaze on the wall behind him, she swallowed.

‘I admit I made mistakes back then. But you’re punishing me for them now. How is that reasonable or fair?’ She paused and heat burnt her cheeks as he stared at her. For a moment his eyes fixed on her, as though her words had meant something to him, and then he shook his head slowly.

‘Fair?’ he echoed. ‘Fair! Since when did you care about fairness? You dumped me because you didn’t want to live in some tatty trailer.’ His eyes hardened. He, on the other hand, would have been content to sleep under the stars if she was with him. Shaking his head, he gave a humourless laugh. ‘How was that fair to me?’

Blood colouring her cheeks and collarbone, Prudence flinched, his bitterness driving the breath from her lungs. It was true—she had said words to that effect—but she hadn’t meant them, and whatever Laszlo might think, she’d been so madly in love then that she would have lived in a ditch with him if he’d asked.

All she’d wanted was for him to repudiate her fears that he’d lost interest in her or, worse, found someone else. Only he’d been so dismissive. And bored. As if she was a nagging child. So it had been impossible to tell him the truth, for that would have meant revealing the depth of her love. She’d been too upset to do that, but just angry enough to want to provoke him and hurt him for not loving her. And so instead she’d lashed out at him about the mess and the cold and the rain.

Prudence felt a trickle of misery run down her spine, but then, almost in the same moment, she shook her head, anger filling her. He was taking what she’d said out of context and—surprise, surprise—ignoring the part he’d played.

Damn it! Unlike her, he’d actually thought they were married! So why hadn’t he done more to make it work between them? Did he think that relationships just sustained themselves? A lump formed in her throat. It certainly seemed that way. She’d gone to him for reassurance but he’d left her no choice but to walk away, and it had been the hardest choice she had ever made. Even talking about it now made her heart swell with grief.

She lifted her chin. ‘We’re not going to go there, Laszlo. I am not going to talk about the past with you any more.’ Heart thumping, she took a breath. ‘If you wanted to discuss our relationship you should have done so at the time. Frankly, now it’s irrelevant.’

Her grip tightened on the chair as he stepped towards her. She felt her stomach swoop. Close up, his beauty was radiant and piercing—like a flaming arrow. His eyes were more golden, his skin smoother, the angles and shading of his cheekbones almost too perfect to be real.

‘I don’t agree. I think it’s entirely relevant, given that you have brought our past back into my life.’

Her mouth trembled. ‘That’s not true, Laszlo. It was you who contacted Seymour’s.’

She stared at him indignantly. If he hadn’t wanted anything to do with her then why had he chosen to use her uncle’s firm? Only of course he didn’t know it was Edmund’s business. He didn’t even know her uncle’s name, let alone what he did for a living. She shivered. Somehow now didn’t seem like the best time to tell him.

Trying to ignore the pounding of her heart, she swallowed. ‘I know how you hate being responsible for anything, but this is your mess.’

‘And we both know how you hate mess, Prudence,’ he said smoothly.

‘I didn’t care about the stupid trailer!’ she snapped, her temper rising. ‘You just focused on that and wouldn’t listen to me. It wasn’t a criticism of you, or your precious Willerby Westmorland! It’s just who I am.’ Her heart was thumping so hard it hurt. ‘I don’t like mess. I like things tidy and in order and that’s why I’m good at my job. Maybe if you’d thought about that instead of sneering at me—’

‘I’m not sneering, pireni.’ His face shifted, and meeting her angry gaze, he shrugged. ‘And you’re right. Maybe I did focus on that remark—’

He stopped and Prudence gaped at him speechlessly. Was that some kind of apology?

His eyes locked with hers and he sighed. ‘But I’m not going to change my mind, Prudence. You do understand that, don’t you?’

‘Yes,’ she said stiffly. ‘But, given that it’s probably not just your decision to make, I’ve decided it doesn’t matter.’

Laszlo frowned. ‘You think there’s a higher authority than me?’

His eyes gleamed with sudden amusement and she felt her stomach flip over.

‘I hope so—for Mr de Zsadany’s sake.’ Wondering again if Janos knew of her relationship with Laszlo, she felt a stab of pain. He was such a fraud. Why, if he’d believed himself to be married, had he kept her existence secret?

Forcing herself to stay focused, she lifted her chin. ‘Seymour’s is the best there is. Giving this job to another firm would only demonstrate how unqualified you are to have anything to do with the cataloguing.’ Hers eyes flashed challengingly at him. ‘I mean, you don’t even like art!’

‘I appreciate beauty as much as the next man,’ Laszlo said softly.

‘Really?’ Prudence retorted. ‘How do you work that out? The only time we went to see an exhibition together you spent your entire time in the café.’

Laszlo shrugged, his gaze sweeping slowly over her face until heat suffused her skin.

‘I can think of better things to do in a darkened room. You, of all people, should know that.’

Prudence stared at him, trembling, dry-mouthed; her body suddenly a mass of hot, aching need. He let the silence lengthen, let the tension rise between them.

‘Or have you forgotten?’ he murmured finally. ‘Perhaps I should jog your memory.’

He watched her eyes widen and felt his groin tighten in response. But almost immediately he closed his mind to the tormenting tug of hunger.

‘But I digress. I don’t need to like art, Prudence. I just want to support my grandfather and be there for him—’

‘Good luck with that!’ Prudence interrupted him crossly. ‘Being there for someone generally requires an element of reliability or commitment, you know.’

She glared at him as his gaze rested on her accusing face.

‘Meaning...?’ he asked slowly.

‘Meaning that you can’t commit to the next five minutes.’ She stared at him incredulously. ‘Don’t you know yourself at all? Trying to pin you down to a time and place is like asking you to give up your soul or something.’

A slight upturn of amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth. ‘Ah, but at least you admit I have a soul.’

And then suddenly he smiled, and it felt like the sun on her face. Despite her brain warning her not to, it was impossible not to smile back—for it was a glimpse of the Laszlo she had loved so very much. The Laszlo who, when he chose, had been able to make her laugh until she cried. But then her smile faded and she reminded herself that this Laszlo had cold-heartedly used his power to avenge himself, regardless of the consequences to her or her family.

She frowned. ‘Life can’t always be improvised. Sometimes you have to do boring things too—like learn lines and turn up on set on time.’

Laszlo stared at her, a muscle working in his jaw. ‘You’re comparing our relationship to a film?’

‘Yes. I am.’ Prudence lifted her chin. ‘A very unmemorable silent film, with poor casting and no plot.’

She felt the hairs stand up on the back of her neck as he smiled again and shook his head slowly.

‘I think your memory is playing tricks on you, pireni. There were some very memorable scenes in our film. Steamy too. Award-winning, even.’

‘For the best short film?’ she snapped.

‘I was thinking more hair and make-up,’ he said, his eyes glittering.

She couldn’t resist. ‘Yours or mine?’

‘Oh, definitely mine,’ he whipped back.

There was a silence, and then both of them started to laugh.

Prudence stopped and bit her lip. ‘Can’t we stop this—please, Laszlo?’ She saw the indecision on his face and for a moment she faltered, and then she said quickly, ‘It’s brutal. And senseless. We’re just going round and round in circles, and all this name-calling isn’t going to change the fact that your grandfather wants his collection catalogued and I’m here to do it. So let me do it, Laszlo: for him. For your grandfather.’

Their eyes locked: hers bright and desperate, his, dark and unreadable. She swallowed hard, trying to find the words to change his mind.

‘If I lose this contract you won’t just be punishing me,’ she said steadily. ‘Other people will suffer—people you’ve never met...people who’ve done you no harm.’

She held her breath and watched his face, trying not to let her desperation show.

‘Please, Laszlo. Please don’t make this personal. Just let me do my job and then I’ll be out of your life for ever.’

There was a tense, expectant silence as he studied her face. She wanted this job, badly, and he wondered idly just how far she would go to get it back. Immediately prickling heat surged through him and his groin grew painfully hard. He gritted his teeth, shocked by the intensity of his body’s response.

It would be easy to give her a chance. His chest tightened painfully. But why should he? After all, she had never given their marriage a chance, had she? His face hardened. Did she really think that she could somehow emotionally blackmail him into forgetting the past and the harm she had done to him? And what about his family? What about their pain?