Needed: Her Mr Right

Ryan was the black sheep.

Most of the time he didn’t let it bother him. And yet…

He felt strangely alone.

Like a congenital defect, loneliness had dogged him since childhood, since he’d first known he would never bask in the warmth of his father’s approval.

And right now he was tired. Physically and emotionally. But he knew from experience that it was best after a long international flight to grit it out until night time before hitting the hay.

He really needed coffee.

With not a coffee bean in sight, he opted for Plan B. He would head for Stratos’s café. He could spend the afternoon there, surrounded by Sydneysiders, drinking endless cups of coffee.

Picking up his coat, he felt the weight of the girl’s book in the pocket.

He felt the grain of the leather cover beneath his fingers and then, as he took the diary out and set it on the bookcase, he thought about its owner. Remembered her tentative smile, her lovely eyes.

He should do something about getting this back to her. But the conversation with his father had destroyed his sense of gallantry.

Maybe tomorrow. Right now, he needed coffee.

CHAPTER TWO

SIMONE couldn’t sleep for worrying about her diary, couldn’t believe she’d lost it. She’d called the cab company but there was no report anywhere of it being handed in. She was terribly afraid that the diary had disappeared for ever.

But where was it? Had someone found it? Would they bother to read it? Would they ever link it to her?

The cab company had asked her to leave her name and a contact number, but she’d been too afraid to reveal her identity. What if her story was leaked to the press?

The possibilities tossed around and around in her head like debris swirling down a drainpipe and finally she gave up trying to sleep. Slipping out of bed, she padded in bare feet through the dark flat to her study, blinked at the brightness as her computer screen came to life and read Belle and Claire’s emails for the zillionth time.

Belle had written:

Oh, Simone! What a shame about your diary. I know how hard you worked on it—will you be able to put together your article without it? If you need any details, I’ve got the stuff I wrote for my reports that you can have. As for anyone connecting us with it, I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s most likely in some airport waste compactor by now.

That was a comforting thought. If only she could believe it.

Claire had been equally sympathetic and reassuring:

Don’t beat yourself up about this. It’s disappointing and frustrating, but I can’t imagine it will cause any problems for any of us.

Simone closed down her email programme, hoping the girls were right. It wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t included so many personal ramblings in her diary. She hadn’t meant to get deep and meaningful. Her intention had been simply to record the cycling challenge, but for years now she’d kept her inner self so tightly under wraps that once she was out of the country and had started to write, all kinds of thoughts, hopes and fears had tumbled on to the page.

So many dreams and dreads, memories and secrets…

Up there in the Himalayas, close beneath the stars, she’d looked at the vast dome of sky and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her parents. Both dead. She’d never known her father—he’d died before she was born, fighting in Vietnam. Her mother had died when she was seventeen.

She’d thought a great deal about her grandfather, who was very much alive, although she hadn’t seen him in over a decade.

Belle and Claire had been going through something similar, she’d discovered later, which was why they’d eventually made their pact and why Simone had pledged to go to Jonathan Daintree, her grandfather, to tell him what she should have told him years ago.

But now, back in Sydney and sitting alone in the dark, her courage seemed to have abandoned her totally.

In the eerie darkness, her eyes sought the familiar shape of an old cardboard box on the bookshelf beside her. It held all the Christmas and birthday cards her grandfather had sent her. Each card had come with a generous cheque and she’d written polite notes to thank him, but on both sides their correspondence had been guarded and coldly polite for some time now.

And it was her fault.

After her mother’s death, she’d distanced herself from the old man. At first there had been occasional fleeting meetings in cafés when Jonathan had come to town. A kiss on the cheek…

A handful of words…

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks, Grandfather.”

“You know you’re always welcome at Murrawinni.”

“Yes, but I’m so busy.”

She’d had to force the distance between them. It was awful and she knew she’d broken his heart, but if she’d remained close with Jonathan he would have asked too many questions. Questions about her stepfather, Harold Pearson’s, death, about her mother Angela’s involvement. Questions Simone could never answer.

Her mother had begged her never to tell anyone.

But could her mother have guessed the unbearable burden that ban had imposed?

Living with such a terrible secret had not only soured her relationship with her grandfather; her refusal to talk about it was at the root of her string of broken relationships with men. For Simone, the whole getting-to-know-you dating scene was fraught with tension.

Each time she went out with a new boyfriend, she always hoped that this would be The One. She would give anything to fall completely, obsessively, permanently in love with one wonderful man, but the burden of her secret always held her back.

In the Himalayas, she had come to the alarming decision that Angela had been wrong to silence her. The guilty secret had blighted her life and the pain of separation from her grandfather was too great. She owed him the truth.

And now she had to find the courage to tell him everything. And she had to do it fast, because—oh, help—because the person who found the diary might let her secrets out and her grandfather would, most definitely, never forgive her then.

Simone felt her eyes sting, couldn’t bring herself to look at the other larger box that held letters from her mother. Just looking at it brought a rush of painful memories and a wave of guilt and fear. She bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from crying, turned on her desk lamp and began to type a bravely hopeful reply to Belle and Claire.

Next morning, stomach churning, she dialed Murrawinni’s number before she lost her nerve. Her grandfather’s housekeeper, Connie Price, answered.

“I beg your pardon?” she said. “Who did you say is calling?”

“Simone. Simone Gray, Jonathan’s granddaughter.”

“Simone?” Connie’s voice quavered with surprised disbelief. “Lord have mercy, child. This is going to be quite a shock for him. It’s been so long.”

Simone’s stomach lurched. “Is my grandfather well? I don’t want to upset him or make him ill.”

“I don’t think there’s any fear of that, Simone. He’s well enough. Fit as a fiddle, in fact. Keeps us all on our toes. Just a moment and I’ll fetch him.”

Connie took more than a moment and Simone’s heart accelerated to a gallop while she waited. Would her grandfather be angry? Would he refuse to speak to her? Would he hammer her with a thousand questions?

“Simone?” It was Connie’s voice again.

“Yes?”

“I—I’m sorry, my dear. Jonathan—” Connie paused and cleared her throat. “I’m afraid he can be a little stubborn these days.”

“What does that mean? Are you saying that he doesn’t want to speak to me?” Simone’s voice broke pitifully. She screwed her face tight, fighting tears. “I was hoping to ask if I could come out to Murrawinni to—to visit him. Th-there’s something I need—”

She broke off, couldn’t get the words out.

“I’m sure he’ll come round, dear. It’s just that your call has been quite a shock. It’s been such a long time.”

“Yes.” The word came out as a despairing squeak. “Perhaps Grandfather will ring me l-later, if—if he changes his mind.”

Simone gave Connie her number and hung up, felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. She’d already lost her diary. What else could go wrong?

By the end of a few days of self-imposed vacation, the printer’s ink in Ryan’s veins drove him back to The Sydney Chronicle newsroom. He was greeted with flattering enthusiasm and predictable curiosity about the row that had ended his time in London.

“What was that about?” asked Jock Guinness, the chief-of-staff and Ryan’s former mentor. “Brash young Aussie clashes with ultra-conservative British establishment?”

“More like—Aussie black sheep spits the dummy when intrusive, cashed-up father tries to jump his boy up the British promotion queue.”

Jock’s jaw gaped. “Your dad did that?”

Ryan’s lip curled. “Who else?”

Everyone in the newsroom expected Ryan to resume his old post. The chief-of-staff announced openly that a desk could be cleared for him in ten minutes flat. But Ryan shook his head. He wasn’t looking for another spot as a general news gatherer. He’d had a gutful of being sent out on tame stories pulled off the daily job sheet.

Jock accepted this with grudging good grace. “You’ll do well as a freelancer,” he admitted. “You were one of the few people in this place who always had a string of good stories on the back burner.”

Ryan was chatting to Meg James, one of the journalists, when he saw the girl from the airport.

He stared at her picture, smiling up at him from the pages of a glossy magazine—a full-page colour photo of her, sitting cross-legged on a grassy slope with a spectacular rocky gorge behind her and snow-capped mountains in the distance. Felt again that gut-punching sensation.

He had rung the airport’s lost property office, but no one had reported a missing diary. And now, here was the girl. She was wearing slim-fitting bike shorts, revealing her legs in all their shapely, golden-tanned loveliness.

He remembered the way she’d caught his attention at the airport—as if she were in glowing Technicolor and the rest of the scene was in black and white. Remembered the uncanny moment of connection when he’d locked gazes with her. Thought of the crowded handwritten pages of her diary, still sitting on his bookshelf. It was the weirdest feeling, almost as if he knew her and he’d let her down somehow.

With admirable restraint, he refrained from snatching up the magazine. Instead, he pointed to the open pages with an excessively casual hook of his right thumb. “Do you mind if I borrow this?”

Meg James shot him a curious smile. “Be my guest. But since when have you been a fan of City Girl?”

“I’d just like to check out this story. About the bike ride in the Himalayas.”

“Oh, sure, it’s a great travel piece.” Meg glanced at the picture and rolled her eyes. “Simone puts the rest of us to shame.”

Simone. He repeated her name softly, savouring it, letting it settle inside him. It was a sensuous name—just a little exotic—a good fit for her.

“Simone Gray,” he said, reading her byline.

“Yep. Don’t you know her? She’s the Big Chief at City Girl. Executive editor.”

“No kidding?” A pulse began to throb in his jaw and fine pinpricks erupted over his arms. “Tell me more about her.”

Meg sighed. “I get pea-green just thinking about Simone Gray. She’s smart, successful, has the job I’ve always lusted after. And every time I see her, she seems to have a different guy in tow and they’re all madly in love with her, of course. And then, to cap it off, instead of just writing a cheque for her favourite charity, she put herself through a huge ordeal, training hard, getting sweaty and blistered and making the rest of us feel like lazy layabouts.”

Ryan set the magazine down abruptly and Meg frowned at him.

“Changed your mind about reading it?”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll get what I want firsthand.”

Meg treated him to a very weird look, but he was already halfway out of the office.

Simone had given her PA the day off because it was her elderly mother’s birthday, so when the phone rang for the twentieth or maybe fortieth time that morning, her response was automatic. “Good morning. Simone Gray speaking. How can I help you?”

“Morning, Simone. My name’s Ryan Tanner. I’m a fellow journalist and I’ve rung to congratulate you on the article in this month’s City Girl. I really enjoyed your story about China. Nice work.”

Simone frowned. Her article was workmanlike and professional, possibly inspiring for some readers, but not exactly the kind of writing that would attract attention from fellow journalists—especially a male with a beautifully modulated, deeply sexy voice.

He’d said his name was Tanner…Ryan Tanner…

She didn’t think she’d met him, but couldn’t be sure. The only Tanners she could think of offhand were billionaires who owned vast tracts of mining land in Western Australia and the Northern Territory. No one in that family would want to work as a journalist.

“Thank you, Mr Tanner. It’s kind of you to take the trouble to call me.”

“No trouble.”

She waited a beat.

“But there is something else, Simone…”

He paused again and in the silence she decided there was something undeniably sexy about the way he said her name—warming it with his voice, touching a chord deep inside her.

It occurred to her that if this guy was as smooth as his voice suggested, he might be going to ask her on a date. He wouldn’t be the first man to make contact after seeing her photo in a magazine. Her mind raced ahead, planning a quick exit strategy.

Ryan Tanner’s deep voice rumbled silkily down the phone line. “I have something of yours that I’d like to return.”

“Something of mine?”

“You lost a book at the airport last week.”

A blast of fear exploded in her chest.

Crash.

The phone receiver slipped from her hand, clattered on to her desk.

“Simone?”

Her vital organs collided. She’d convinced herself that her precious diary had been dumped by a sullen taxi driver, or had been swept up and pulped by one of those noisy street sweeping machines. Last week, she’d rung the taxi company countless times with no luck and had decided it was safe enough to publish the Himalayan article. Had decided that even if someone had found the diary, the chances of that person reading City Girl and putting two and two together were negligible.

But now, only one day after City Girl had hit the news-stands, her worst fears were realised.

And of all people to have found the diary and make the connection, it had to be another journalist!

Her hand shook as she picked up the receiver again and held it to her ear.

“Ms Gray, are you there?”

She didn’t answer.

“Ms Gray, are you OK?”

Ryan Tanner sounded concerned, but she didn’t trust him.

Her mind raced in crazy panicking circles. His faux admiration of her article was a front, of course. The only reason he’d rung was to let her know he had the diary.

The sickening question was: what else did this guy know about her? And how did he plan to use it? Her stomach heaved and sweat trickled down her back as she imagined her diary entries and her innermost secret fears splashed across some grubby tabloid newspaper. Ridiculously, she even pictured her story flashed on a television news bulletin. Nausea rose from the pit of her stomach.

She had to get a grip, had to think like an editor, not a panicking victim. It was time to think in terms of crisis management.

As calmly as she could, she said, “Tell me one thing, Mr Tanner. We’re not on air, are we?”

“Of course not. There’s no need to panic. I only work with print media.”

A huff of relief escaped her. “OK…RyanTanner…I’m trying to remember if I’ve seen your byline.”

“Used to be with The Sydney Chronicle, but I’ve been in London for the last year and a half.”

“And you believe you have something that belongs to me?”

“You must know what I’m talking about, Simone. Your diary.”

Thinking fast now, she realised she had to play for time, needed space to think, to work out a suitable response.

“Mr Tanner—uh—Ryan, I have people queuing up in the office here. I’ll have to call you back. Say in fifteen minutes?”

“OK, no problem.” He gave her his number.

“This is your private number?”

“Mine and only mine.”

Dropping the receiver, she sank back into her chair, cowered with shock for a second or two, then jumped to her feet and began to pace the office, her mind racing at a hundred miles an hour. What could she do? How on earth was she going to handle this nightmare?

There was only one answer: very carefully.

She wished she knew how her diary had ended up in Ryan Tanner’s hands. Had someone sold it to him? How many people had read it?

Fighting panic, she tried to unscramble her thoughts. She had committed the sordid details of her secret to paper and she’d exposed Belle and Claire too. And she’d recorded the pact she’d made with Belle and Claire—their commitments to find important people from their past, to right past wrongs.

How could she have been so thoughtless? So careless?

Oh, help.

Oh, hell!

Keep calm, girl.

Yes, she had to stay calm. If she kept her head, she might be able to find a way to deflect Ryan Tanner, to wriggle out of this. But she had to handle things very carefully, had to get him answering her questions, not the other way round.

She waited twenty-seven minutes, twenty-seven nerve-racking, nail-biting, agonising minutes before she rang him back.

“Hello, Mr Tanner.”

Her heart thumped so loudly it filled her ears and she could hardly hear his reply.

“Simone, thanks for calling back.”

“I’m rather busy, so I can’t speak for long, but I do appreciate your willingness to return my lost property.” Cringe. She sounded way too prim and uptight. She tried again, more casually. “Perhaps you could drop the book off at our front desk? Any time that’s convenient would be fine.”

“Well…Simone.”

She did her best to ignore the totally annoying coiling sensation deep inside her when he said her name, warming it with his dark midnight voice.

“There are a couple of things I’d like to speak to you about.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Tanner. I’m not interested in talking to you. Certainly not before I verify that this book is mine.”

“It’s yours, Simone.”

She clenched the receiver so tightly it should have snapped in two.

Ryan Tanner could be planning anything—even blackmail.

“How—” Her voice came out squeaky and scared. She paused, tried again. “How did the diary come into your possession?”

“Rainy day. Sydney Airport. Lovely girl waiting for a taxi. A backpack with a side pocket. Any of that ring a bell?”

Simone stifled a cry. This guy had been there? He’d been watching her at the airport?

Her frantic fingers twisted the phone cord. Was he stalking her?

She thought of the hot-looking guy she’d caught checking her out. Surely he wasn’t Tanner? He hadn’t looked like a stalker.

“So…so what are you saying, Mr Tanner—Ryan? You want to meet?”

“Why not? What about lunch?”

She needed more time, needed to find out as much as she could about this guy. “I—I’m busy today. How about tomorrow? Can we meet somewhere tomorrow?”

“Why wait? Couldn’t you make time today?”

She sighed. Perhaps it would be better to meet him; otherwise he might track her to her home. Best to get this over, to be rid of him.

Her throat was dry and she swallowed. “All right. Where do you want to meet?”

“How about the Jade Dragon restaurant in Chinatown? Unless you’re tired of Chinese?”

“I’ll be there at one.”

CHAPTER THREE

RYAN felt unusually on edge as he headed for Chinatown.

Had Simone Gray cast a spell on him?

How else could he explain why he’d invited her to lunch rather than taking the simple option of sticking her diary in the post or dropping it off at City Girl’s front desk?

How else could he explain his need to see her, to check again exactly why she’d stood out from the thousands of travellers at the airport?

In the photo in City Girl, her pretty eyes were sparkling, her mouth curved with laughter. He’d been entranced. Seeing a picture of her was like hearing a teasing scrap of enchanting music. He wanted to hear the whole song.

Under other circumstances, he might have gone out of his way to impress her at this meeting. Flashiest restaurant in town. Top wines. Waiter primed to fuss over her.

But she was already in panic mode and Ryan suspected that kind of carry-on would only make her more suspicious. Besides, it wasn’t really his style.

As he passed through the traditional paifang gate into Sydney’s busy, bustling Chinatown, he caught the tempting aromas of lemon grass, ginger and chilli rising from woks and he felt strangely nervous about this meeting—almost first date nervous.

Crazy, given his age and his track record with women, and the fact that, as far as she was concerned, this was so not a date.

He reached the Jade Dragon, stepped out of the sunlight into its darkened interior and took a moment for his eyes to adjust.

Simone was already there, seated at a small table on the far side, facing the entrance. A red lantern cast a rosy glow over her, illuminating the shock of recognition in her eyes.

She remembered. Remembered that fleeting moment last week when they’d locked gazes at the airport.

A tiny rocket of hope launched inside him, but it was quickly doused, as her surprised disbelief changed to clear disappointment, then displeasure.

Not the best of beginnings.

Nevertheless, he smiled as he made his way to her, kept smiling as he held out his hand.

“Hello, Simone.”

She ignored his attempt to be friendly, simply looked up at him with wary eyes and a tight, no-nonsense mouth. He took the seat opposite her.

Forgot to breathe.

Close up, she was even lovelier than he’d remembered—in spite of her aloofness. Her face, framed by waves of soft, wheat-gold hair, was classically oval and beautifully symmetrical. And there was a breath-robbing quality about her perfect skin, the delicacy of her nose and mouth, the vividness of her eyes—deeply blue and darkly lashed.

She was simply dressed, but the very simplicity of her pale blue dress and the fine gold chain about her neck served as a perfect foil for her beauty. The dress showed off her golden tan to perfection. It took every ounce of self-restraint to refrain from telling her straight out that she was, quite possibly, the loveliest woman he’d ever met.

How crazy would that be? The frost and wariness in her eyes were enough to assure Ryan that Simone Gray wouldn’t give a flying fig.

Angling for a safe opening, he asked, “Have you ever eaten here before?”

“No.” She didn’t return his smile. “But I’ve checked out the menu and it looks OK.”

“So you’re ready to order?”

She nodded.

He beckoned to a waiter and Simone ordered fish in black bean sauce. Ryan chose Mongolian lamb. They both skipped the wine list and ordered jasmine tea.

In a matter of moments the waiter was gone and they were alone again.

Across the table their gazes met and Ryan caught the tiniest flare of interest in her eyes, but it was so quickly doused, like a hastily snuffed candle, that he decided he’d imagined it.

He cleared his throat. “I genuinely meant what I said about your travel piece in City Girl. I really liked it. I’ve been on the Nepalese side of the Himalayas, but not in China, and I think you definitely captured the atmosphere of the region. It’s a fine piece of writing—conveyed a great sense of immediacy, of being there with you.”