Laredo's Sassy Sweetheart

“Lesson?” Katy repeated.

“Yeah, I’m teaching Tex everything I know about bulls.”

“I thought you didn’t know anything,” Katy said, her voice innocent.

Tex snickered, and Laredo made a mental note to punch him later. “I know a few things,” he said, trying to hang on to his bravado. Something about Katy just got him so mixed up and confused! He wanted to brag in front of her, wanted to strut his stuff just a little, but somehow he kept goofing it up.

“What Laredo means,” Hannah said, as she and Ranger moved back to the circle, “is that he knows more about Bloodthirsty Black. He’s filling Tex in on the history.”

“That’s right.” Laredo straightened with a grateful glance at Hannah. “History’s important.”

“Yeah, we all remember your report card,” Ranger said.

Silence descended. “Excuse me,” Tex said. “I’m going to go find a gents’.”

He left, and the conversational void stretched. Laredo frowned at Ranger, who sighed.

“Now, just what is it about this bull we need to know?” Ranger said, clearly deciding to leave off the sibling rivalry and let Laredo get his neck broken if he was determined to do so.

“He pulls to the left,” a voice said. “And then, just when you lean, he jerks to the right with a mean midair kick. Every time.”

All four of them whirled to look at the woman who’d spoken. Laredo felt his jaw go slack, and heard Ranger’s jaw hit the pavement with a resounding thunk.

This woman was simply stunning. As fresh and cute as Katy was, as punky-funky cute as Hannah was, this woman would set records for head-snapping stares.

Beside him, he could feel Katy stiffen.

“Hell-oo, there,” Ranger said. “Thanks for the tip.” He tipped his hat to her, and grinned.

The woman smiled back, one hand on her hip, the other casually resting against Bloodthirsty Black’s stall. “You’re welcome.”

Laredo glanced at Katy for an intro. Hannah didn’t seem too happy about the woman’s presence, either, especially since she and Ranger had just spent a cozy five-minute chat together.

The woman ignored the female frostiness and extended a delicate hand to Ranger. “Staying in town long?” she asked softly, her voice full of hints.

“He’s leaving in a couple of hours, actually,” Laredo replied.

“And you?” she asked smoothly, looking back to Laredo.

He probably shouldn’t tell what he was up to, Laredo thought. Katy probably wanted him to be the surprise weapon. “Uh, a guy can’t hang around beautiful women in a quaint town forever, I guess.”

“That’s too bad. We’re real nice to strangers here in Lonely Hearts Station.” The woman smiled, and imperceptibly tightened her posture so that her breasts thrust forward in an invitation even the greenest male could understand.

Laredo thought he could see Ranger’s eyes spinning around in their sockets. Wow! He didn’t think he’d ever seen his hard-edged brother so…softened up.

“This is Cissy Kisserton,” Katy said reluctantly. “Cissy, meet Ranger and Laredo Jefferson.”

“Real cowboys?” Cissy asked.

“Born and bred, ma’am,” Ranger said. Hannah rolled her eyes, which Laredo thought was appropriate.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you,” Cissy said. “Just wanted to be friendly to the visitors in town. You send them over our way for a cup of cocoa, Katy. We’ll make sure they’re well taken care of.”

“It’s a bit chilly in here, after all, isn’t it?” Ranger said. “I’ll take you up on that cup of cocoa right now, Miss Cissy,” he said, following after the beautiful woman like a lovestruck puppy.

The two of them disappeared around the corner, but not before Laredo saw Ranger slip his arm around her. Laughter floated over the stalls to them. Laredo groaned to himself. Ranger was the most steadfast of the brothers! Certainly he had his share of wild hairs—he’d been bluffing about going to do some military service for nearly a year now…of course, he’d never leave Malfunction Junction Ranch, but he’d sure been trying to put action where his big mouth was. He’d actually started hanging around the police station, trying to act civilized.

But nothing like a beautiful woman to make a man’s mouth run away from him. Laredo looked at Katy, who appeared dumbfounded; Hannah seemed disappointed down to her very orange toenails, peeping out of cut-open tennis shoes.

The expression on Hannah’s face told Laredo that Cissy wasn’t the only woman around who thought Ranger was a hunk.

Oh, boy.

“Where’s Ranger?” Tex asked, coming back to join them.

“He went off with a woman,” Laredo said. “Cissy Kisserton. You should have seen her.”

“You should have seen him,” Hannah said. “It was like watching a giant tree get felled by one termite.”

“Oh. I apologize for my brother’s behavior,” Tex said.

“Is Cissy a Never Lonely Cut-N-Gurl?” Laredo asked.

“Obviously,” Katy said.

“Whoa.” He’d have to be very careful to avoid that Venus fly trap. There was a real sensitive issue between the two salons for certain, and it clearly wasn’t all about who gave the better haircut. “By the way, Tex, Cissy was awfully helpful. She says Bloodthirsty Black pulls to the left. And when you lean, he jerks to the right with a midair kick every time.”

“Does he, now?” Tex eyed the bull speculatively. “And why was the competition being so helpful?”

Laredo looked at Katy and Hannah. “I guess she just wanted to be nice to the strangers in town.”

Katy and Hannah made disgusted sounds, gathered up their baskets with the food in them and marched off without a word.

The parting looks they shot the men spoke loudly, however.

“You just blew it,” Tex told his twin.

“What did I say?”

“First rule of girlhunting—never let a woman you like believe another woman has anything to offer you. Anyway, I’m supposed to be giving you tips on Mr. Bloodthirsty, here, not love. It’s unseemly for a brother to have to coach his twin in things any freshly minted teenage boy knows.”

Laredo’s heart sank. “Cissy was awfully friendly. I thought she was nice. And she didn’t have to tell us about the trick this old bull plays.”

“True.”

“Ranger stuck on her like glue. He didn’t see anything wrong with her, either.”

“There, then. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

Laredo frowned. Nothing to worry about except he’d upset Katy, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Pulls to the left, huh?” Tex said. “When I went to the gents’, I noticed the arena was empty. There’s no one around. Let’s sit you up on Bloodthirsty and see exactly how hard he kicks.”

“Have you lost your mind? I’m not getting up on him.” Laredo eyed the bull, who was pawing at something in his stall as if he were sharpening his hooves for the kill. “Don’t we need about four other men helping us hold him?”

“If we were loading him in a chute, yeah. But you’re just gonna get up on top of this bull and get used to the feel of him underneath you.”

Laredo shook his head. “I’ll wait till Saturday.”

Tex sighed. “Look. It’s not that hard. Watch me.”

He pulled on his glove and looped a rope around the bull’s neck. The animal snorted, demonstrating his displeasure by slinging his head. Tex jumped up on the top rail, squared himself up, jumped and landed briefly on the bull’s back.

There was silence for an infinitesimally split second, and then all hell broke loose.

“I DON’T THINK the Jefferson boys are the men we thought they were,” Katy said to Hannah as they walked home. “Laredo brags, Tex is a ladies’ man and Ranger’s off with the enemy.”

Hannah nodded. “For a minute I thought Ranger might have liked me. He sure seemed to.”

Katy’s heart melted at the sound of sadness in Hannah’s voice. “It’s just that darn Cissy Kisserton. She knocks men down at their kneecaps.”

“But if he’d really liked me, he wouldn’t have even seen her,” Hannah said. “You notice Laredo didn’t so much as shake her hand.”

Katy brightened a little. “I suppose he didn’t.” Then she faded again. “But he’s still a braggart. If I were to fall for another man, I know I’d want one whose actions match his words.”

“That may be the impossible holy grail, Katy. All men pad their résumés. So do women.”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” Hannah insisted. “I’ve noticed that since Laredo hit town, you’re trying to stand like our competition does. Tush out and breasts stuck forward.”

Together, they walked up the back-stair entrance of the salon and went upstairs to Katy’s room. “It’s true,” Katy said. “That’s exactly what I was doing. But if I don’t shift things around, I’ll never stand a chance against a girl like Cissy. She’s got all the moves. And it’s only a matter of time before those girls set their aim on Laredo. I just don’t want to be around when they score a bull’s-eye.”

“Now, now.” Hannah sank onto the bed and stared down at Rose the mouse. “Courage. Laredo seems loftier in morals than most men.”

“I don’t know. I noticed a marked decrease in loftiness when Cissy came by. We brought picnic baskets, and Cissy brought a tight skirt and high heels.”

Hannah frowned slightly. “I thought I might like Ranger, but it was one of those moments where you look at someone and see someone they’re not because you want them to be something else. I must be in a needy phase. I’ll have to be more careful.”

Katy sat beside her, and patted Hannah’s hand. “What happened to daring?”

“That’s you, not me.” Hannah perked up. “Katy, stand up,” she said.

Katy complied, her eyes widening when she saw the scissors Hannah picked up from the table. “Not my hair, Hannah,” Katy protested. “I know you’ve been itching to cut it for a long time, but it’s unwise to give up an inch for a man. Truly, short and sassy isn’t me.”

“It is when you’ve got nice legs you never show,” Hannah said, picking up the hem of Katy’s long dress. She decisively cut up to Katy’s knee.

“Hannah!”

“Hold still, I’m gauging your siren potential. I think another two inches,” Hannah murmured, continuing to cut.

“I’m too short for short dresses,” Katy protested. “I’ll look even more like a baby-faced doll than I do!”

Hannah tossed the red fabric aside. “Nope,” she said happily. “Now that’s enough to give Laredo whiplash.”

“Hannah.” Katy knelt down to look into her friend’s eyes. “Listen to me. Laredo Jefferson is the last man I need. He doesn’t fit the description. In fact, in some ways he reminds me of Stanley.”

Hannah cocked a wry brow. “In what ways? Stand back up so I can gauge the hem length.”

“Laredo’s ogle-meter. And that’s enough to tell me that he’s not even remotely close to…date material.”

“Did Stanley ogle Becky before the two of them met like ships passing in the bridal chamber?”

Katy wrinkled her nose. “Not that I ever noticed. I think that was why I was so shocked.”

“Something doesn’t add up about that. What made those two suddenly jump in each other’s arms?”

“My virginity.”

“No.” Hannah sighed, pulled out a needle from a drawer in Katy’s nightstand and threaded it with red thread. Industriously, she went to work turning up the hem of Katy’s dress by an eighth of an inch. “Linen’s hard to sew by hand,” she murmured. “I’m going to take tiny stitches, so stand very still.”

“Don’t you need a chalk or tape?”

“This will do for the lunch hour. I need you to concentrate. Did you ever tell Becky anything about Stanley?”

“I told her everything! She was my best friend, my maid of honor.”

“Did you tell her anything personal? Like, oh, that you two hadn’t slept together?”

“Everybody knew that, even my mother. We had a nine-month proper engagement. Stanley used to say he was proud to be marrying a virgin.” She wrinkled her forehead.

“Don’t do that. Your face will look like a race track,” Hannah instructed.

“I told Becky everything a girl tells her best friend. Just like I tell you. She also knew that Stanley didn’t like to kiss me.”

Hannah stopped sewing. “What?”

“Stanley didn’t like to kiss me. Why are you looking at me like that?”

Hannah shook her head. “Why didn’t he?”

“He said it was too much temptation, since we couldn’t…um, you know.”

“And Stanley’s family is wealthy?”

“Right. Stanley Peter St. Collin III, of St. Collin Faucets and Hinges.”

“Oh, of course. Naturally.” Hannah grimaced. “And Becky’s family was where on the social register?”

“Well, way below ours, if you must use social register terms. Her mom and dad divorced a long time ago, when she was a child. And her mom worked as a waitress at night to make ends meet. Becky worked two jobs, too, after we graduated from high school.”

“And your parents were the Goodnights of Goodnight Protective Arms, starting with well-heeled British immigrant parents and going back three pedigreed generations in your hometown. And you dutifully and impressively went to college and obtained a degree in chemistry.”

“Well, it was the easiest thing to do,” Katy said. “Chemistry is much easier than economics or something.” She shuddered. “Columns of figures and business principles, or putting cool stuff like hydrogen chloride into test tubes and seeing what blows up. Protons. Dissection. No contest there, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. I can see where chemistry is the easy answer. Miles and miles of chemical configurations.” Hannah went back to sewing.

“After I sort myself out—and I’m just about done, thanks to Miss Delilah—I’m going to teach chemistry at Duke in North Carolina in the fall. Of course, my original plan was to marry Stanley and become a perfectly manicured, Mrs. St. Collin III. Luckily, I’d sent out lots of applications after I graduated from college and before Stanley proposed. He didn’t like me interviewing at Duke. Did I tell you that I was invited to interview at Cornell, too?”

“Peachy. Turn.” Hannah moved the needle in and out without glancing up. “These pretty legs are wasted on a chem prof.

“So, Duke in the fall.”

“Yes.” Katy sighed. “I should never have given up chemical calculations for a man.”

“Not Stanley, anyway. But you can’t throw marriage overboard and closet yourself in a lab.”

“Look at me, Hannah, please.”

Hannah complied, and Katy smiled at her friend.

“You have all been wonderful to me. But it’s time for me to strike out on my own and realize my true potential. I’m not man savvy. I’m not sophisticated. I spent too many years studying while my girlfriends were hanging out at frat houses to have learned the feminine ropes. If life is based on sexual chemistry, I got an F in the sexual and an A plus in the chemistry. But being smart means I can take care of myself. I think I might have gotten a little nervous about my life, and when Stanley proposed, I jumped at it. Maybe I didn’t want to be the smartest virgin spinster.” She sighed, looking down for just a moment. “In a way, Stanley dumping me at the altar was the best thing that could have happened. It made me realize I’m much safer if I just rely on myself.”

Hannah shook her head. “I think if you hadn’t told Becky that Stanley didn’t like to kiss you, she still would have stolen him. She needed a way out of her life, and you only thought you did. I think you subconsciously gave her the invitation to steal him.”

Katy stared into the mirror, seeing the miracle Hannah had wrought with her dress. She looked like a different person. Sexier. Hipper. “Maybe I had some unconscious motive I didn’t recognize, but I wouldn’t have picked my wedding day to be dumped.”

“That was unfortunate, but she was probably plagued by guilt, which caused her to wait until the last minute to act. She’s probably not enjoying her honeymoon at all, thinking about you crying your eyes out.” Hannah stood. “I haven’t seen you cry at all, Katy. And I think all this talk of sexual dysfunction is a cover-up. Maybe you just wanted to keep men on the periphery of your life.”

“If I didn’t then, I do now. It’s humiliating when the maid of honor marries your fiancé, wearing the hot pink dress you picked out for her. It’s like, here’s hot and sexy and here’s plain and virginal. Which do you think most guys want? I don’t know,” Katy murmured. “You sure have a lot of insight into people, Hannah. How did you develop that?”

“I’m a hairdresser. I’ve heard lots of stories over the years. Be still.” Gently she took hold of Katy’s below-shoulder-length hair, slicked it into a smooth, high ponytail, then took one strand which she wound around the rubber band and pinned down. “Now a touch of red lipstick,” she said, applying it to Katy as she spoke, “and whammo! Instant femme fatale.”

Katy inspected herself in the mirror. “Maybe it’s fatal femininity.”

“Think confident. Be confident. I’m confident that you’re a woman not to be overlooked. Anyway, the plain-vanilla you is all but a memory.” Satisfied, Hannah put away the needle and thread and the hair-brush and lipstick, glancing with cool smugness at Katy’s dress. “See how easy it is to be daring?”

“This is daring?”

“For you? Yes. It’s a start. Let’s go have lunch at the cafeteria, Virginity Barbie. All this thinking’s made me hungry.”

LAREDO HESITATED outside the door of the Never Lonely Cut-N-Gurls Salon. If Katy saw him going in here, he was toast. Unfortunately, he needed Ranger, and he needed him now.

Glancing guiltily across the street at the Lonely Hearts Salon, he pushed open the door.

KATY GASPED as she saw Laredo go inside the enemy camp. She and Hannah stepped back inside the door quickly, staring at each other in surprise.

“Whoa,” Hannah said. “I have to admit to being caught off guard.”

Katy’s heart felt as if it bled a drop as red as her newly short dress. “I told you. It’s a dysfunctional thing. Those girls have allure—and I do not.” Why should she even care? she asked herself. She didn’t like him anyway.

Did she?

“Boys will be boys, I suppose,” Hannah said. “You could go rescue him from himself.”

“I’d rather join Marvella’s payroll. Come on. Let’s go eat at the cafeteria. Only, we’re taking the back door. I wouldn’t dream of allowing Mr. I’ll-Ride-That-Bull-For-You to know we saw him slinking into the competition’s bunker.”

Chapter Four

“Hold still, Tex,” Ranger said, his teeth gritted, slightly annoyed at being dragged away from Cissy to tend his brother in Delilah’s barn. Tex was writhing a bit dramatically on the hay-covered floor, and Ranger had been far more impressed with the shoulder-massage Cissy had been giving him back at the salon atop a satin-covered chaise lounge. “I’ve got to check your shoulder good because if it’s broken, it’ll set crooked. What were you thinking, anyway?”

Tex tried his hardest to lie still while Ranger none too gently probed his back and shoulder. “I wanted to test this bull and see if what Cissy said was true.”

Laredo stared at his prone twin. “You couldn’t tell a darn thing with that bull in a pen.”

“I can tell you he’s got a helluva liftoff. But I don’t think he cranks left. No, I don’t.”

Ranger stopped what he was doing to look at his brother. “You don’t think he cranks left?”

Tex shook his head. “I don’t.”

The three men studied the bull through the rails. Bloodthirsty seemed satisfied to have flung Tex into the stall across the aisle. For the moment he was quite a bit calmer.

“He does have a spring-loaded midair jump, though,” Tex said. “Either this bull’s changed his mind about how he tries to kill people or you were getting set up, Laredo.”

Ranger shook his head. “Cissy’s a nice girl. She wouldn’t deliberately tell someone wrong.”

“And bulls don’t change their mind,” Tex said stubbornly. “If they start out kicking left, that’s usually the way they always go. Bloodthirsty didn’t hesitate. Then he bunched himself up in the air and tossed me over the pen.”

Laredo wasn’t certain what to think. “Why would Cissy give me a bad tip?”

“So you’d lose, dummy,” Tex told him. “She’s a woman, and she’s a rival, and she’s sucking Ranger’s face to make certain all her bases are covered.”

“She didn’t suck my face!” Ranger protested.

“Your lips are pink,” Laredo pointed out. “Did you borrow some tinted chapstick, maybe? Drink a strawberry pop? Borrow a sun lamp and use it on your lips?”

“It was just a friendly peck,” Ranger said. “Nothing more.” But his face and neck turned as pink as the lipstick, and Laredo frowned.

“Why are you lying?”

“I’m not.” Ranger shrugged and gently helped Tex to his feet. “I think your shoulder’s fine. Just don’t test him again anytime soon.”

“Why? So we won’t interrupt your friendly pecking with Cissy?” Tex asked. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into you?” Ranger shot back. “Since when have you cared who I talked to?”

“Since we’re supposed to be here helping out a woman who rescued us last month, Ranger,” Laredo stated. “Have you forgotten whose girls helped us and Union Junction through the big storm? Who helped with sandbagging, and cooking, and mopping up a creek’s worth of water? Who hung curtains in our house and cleaned and generally kept the town from getting washed under?”

Ranger stared at his brothers, speechless. He shook his head as if his ears were buzzing. Then his shoulders drooped. “I don’t know what came over me,” he said, his tone apologetic. “It was like…it was like the call of the wild, and I couldn’t shut it off. Like being in a dream I didn’t want to wake up from.” He looked at them sheepishly. “For a minute there, I was almost totally hypnotized by a woman. Whew!”

“Oh, boy.” Tex shook his head. “Listen, we’ve got to keep our heads on straight. Our brother has signed on to ride one of the worst bulls I’ve ever come in contact with, and he has no idea what he’s doing. We’ve gotta have a plan.”

“My plan is to get on and stay on,” Laredo said. “I’m going to be more stubborn than this bull.”

Bloodthirsty Black cared little for Laredo’s announcement. He gave a round-nostriled snort, reminding everyone he was in the business of tossing cowboys as if they were hay.

“Maybe you should just give money to Miss Delilah’s charity,” Ranger said doubtfully.

“It’s a man thing.” Laredo glanced toward the barn exit. “In Spain, they run from bulls. Malfunction Junction Ranch cowboys laugh in the face of danger.”

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