In Her Husband's Image

“Wifout a lead?” Mikey gave her a beseeching look.

She hesitated. Silver was a big horse and could be hard to hold. But if they stayed in the yard and she stayed close by…

“If you do as I say.”

Zac gave a quick grin, as if he’d helped Mikey win a point. “Well, be seeing you.”

As he ruffled the boy’s dark curls and strode off to the shed, Rachel let out another sigh, remembering Zac’s comment about her husband’s assault on Bushy Hill. If it’s not too late, he’d said, in a harsh tone. There’d plainly been little love lost between the twin brothers.

Zac raised a trail of dust as he roared across the paddocks. His brow was lowered, but he wasn’t thinking of Adrian. He was thinking of Rachel. She clearly didn’t want him here. She hadn’t forgiven him. He’d be lucky if she ever did. And how could he blame her? Hadn’t he been blaming himself for what had happened on that highly charged night ever since?

He let out a savage groan. The only woman he’d ever wanted, ever cared about, ever lost his head over, and she could never be his, even now that she was free. She would never be able to forgive him or trust him again. She despised him. Damn his stupidity, his weakness, his pathetic loss of control. Damn it to hell!

Even now, he couldn’t understand how it had happened. Nothing like that had ever happened to him before. No woman had ever had that kind of power over him, making him forget everything but his scorching need for her and the mind-numbing, earth-shattering way she affected him. He’d always prided himself on his strength of character, his integrity, his loyalty.

But they’d deserted him the moment his brother’s wife had thrown herself at him and pressed her fevered lips to his, at the same time running her hand down his body and over his shorts, boldly gripping him, setting off a reaction he would never have believed possible. Some power or demon stronger than himself had taken possession of him.

If only he’d stayed away five years ago, today could have been their first meeting…and she just might have looked on him differently, despite what she’d heard about him from Adrian. At least she could have made up her own mind, with no preconceived ideas of her own to influence her.

But now it was too late!

He put his foot down even harder, almost flying through the air as he deliberately increased his speed, heedless of the danger, not caring in that black, reckless moment what happened to him. Even if he broke his neck, who would care?

And then he thought of Mikey, his nephew, a true Hammond by blood, as well as looks. The boy had recently lost his father. To lose his newly discovered uncle, as well, a man who looked just like his father…what would that do to him? Zac ground out a curse, at the same time giving an ironic laugh when he had to jam his foot down hard on the brake. There was a gate ahead and he would have to stop to open it.

By the time he’d reached the other side of the gate and shut it behind him, the black moment was past and his mind was focused on Bushy Hill.

It was dinnertime before Zac came back. Rachel had already fed and bathed Mikey, wanting him in bed and out of the way early, before he could blab to his uncle that he was about to turn four. She needed time to think and decide what would be the best thing to do—to keep her embarrassing secret or tell Zac the truth.

Zac Hammond was not the kind of man she wanted as a father for Mikey. Aside from his dubious character, he would seldom be around. Not that he would want the responsibility of a child, anyway. Zac wasn’t the type to take on responsibilities. He had his own life, his own world with his wild animals. That was how he liked it and would want to keep it.

And what would the truth do to Mikey? As an acknowledged father—a largely absent father figure— Zac would be an unsuitable influence on the boy, unsettling him and putting wild, reckless ideas into his head. She wanted Mikey to grow up to be a steady, responsible adult, with a normal, settled home life and a family one day, not to be an aimless loner like Zac, without any ties or responsibilities or anyone to love and care about or to love and care about him.

Yet how could she lie to Zac outright if he asked the question? Would it be right to stay silent, now that Adrian was gone and not here to be hurt? But how could she tell Zac the truth? What emotional turmoil and disruption to their lives would it lead to? She would have to sleep on it first.

Zac looked a real mess when he walked in. Dirt had mingled with sweat, his naturally unruly hair was matted and more disheveled than ever, and his shirt was filthy. Yet something deep in the pit of her stomach stirred at the sight of him. He still looked breathtakingly sexy and strong and disturbingly virile.

That he could affect her in such a raw, basic way brought a sharpness to her voice. “You’d better clean yourself up before you tell me what you’ve been doing.” What you’ve been doing to my land. “You can tell me over dinner. My head stockman, Vince, and his wife, Joanne, will be joining us.” She’d heard Vince’s Land Rover returning a while ago and had rushed out to meet it.

She often invited Vince and his new bride to the homestead to talk over station matters. If not to dinner, to drinks on the veranda, sometimes joined by Danny and whoever else was working at Yarrah Downs at the time.

“Can you wait for a cold beer until they come?” she asked Zac. “Or make do with some water for now?” How lucky that she’d asked Vince and Joanne for dinner tonight. Now she wouldn’t have to be alone with Zac.

He grinned.

“Sure. Where’s Mikey?”

“He’s already in bed. He tired himself out.”

“Reaction to all the excitement earlier in the day, hmm?” Zac’s dirt-smudged lips curved in that roguish way he had—so unlike his more serious twin brother, and so like Mikey. So disturbingly like Mikey.

“Reaction to being scared to death, more like it,” she heard herself snapping back, her nerves suddenly on edge. “Are you going to go and clean up or not?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He loped off, still grinning.

While she was waiting for him to come back, Vince and Joanne arrived, freshened up after their day spent checking the water bores. They lived in the head stockman’s cottage on the far side of the yards, past the communal bungalow Danny shared with any other stockmen working on the property.

Vince and his wife were both hardworking, rough-diamond types. Vince was short and muscular, with a shock of sandy hair normally hidden beneath a battered Akubra hat. Joanne, as strong and tough-talking as a man, had inherited her wiry strength from her stockman father and her dusky beauty from her Aboriginal mother. She pulled her weight with the men out on the station and acted as cook on musters.

Rachel often worried that Joanne knew more about station life than she did. She had a feeling that Vince thought so, too, that he still thought of his new boss as a cosseted, wet-behind-the-ears “townie.”

“Is there something wrong?” she asked the moment she saw their faces.

Vince’s mouth was dragged down in a grimace. “We found that one o’ the bores—Boomerang Bore—has been tampered with and put out of action, maybe wrecked beyond repair. We’ll have to bring in a contractor quickly to fix it. If it can be fixed. We might need to sink a new bore.”

Rachel’s heart sank. How on earth would she be able to afford to fix it, let alone pay for a new bore if they needed it? It would cost a fortune! Yet she had to find a way. Without water her cattle would die.

Tampered with, Vince had said. “Who would do such a thing?” she cried. Her eyes clouded. Someone who didn’t want a woman running Yarrah Downs? Someone who wanted to demoralize her and drive her out?

The person most likely to benefit if she did leave was Vince. He’d made no secret of the fact that he wanted to manage a cattle station one day, now he was a married man with responsibilities. He must think this a perfect opportunity—the city-bred widow, left alone with a young child, finding herself unable to cope with the demands of a busy cattle station. Putting a few obstacles in her way might drive her out all the faster.

Rachel felt a wave of despair. How could she keep Yarrah Downs running if she couldn’t even trust her own head stockman?

“Beats me.” Vince shook his sandy head. There was no sign of guilt on his sun-weathered face, no sliding away of his crinkled gaze, but then, Vince seldom showed any emotion. “Young hooligans? One of our neighbors, keen to buy up your land if you decide to sell? Or maybe some contractor who doesn’t like dealing with a female station owner.”

“Is that how you feel, Vince?” she asked bluntly.

“No, of course not.” But his ready denial wasn’t convincing. He didn’t expect her to stay. Not for the long term. Not when he knew her own father was doing his best to persuade her to sell and move back to town. Nobody expected her to stay. And Zac, she suspected, shared the sentiment.

As if her thoughts had conjured him up, Zac appeared, his hair still damp from his shower, his clean shirt splashed with droplets of water. In place of the boots he’d been wearing earlier was an old pair of sneakers. He looked perfectly at home already in his brother’s house.

She sensed Vince stiffen at the sight of him, heard Joanne’s quick intake of breath and said as coolly as she could, “I don’t suppose you’ve met Adrian’s twin brother, Zac Hammond? Zac, this is my head stockman, Vince Morgan. And this is his wife, Joanne.”

“G’day, Zac.” Vince stretched out a freckled hand. By the mystified look on his face, it was clear that Adrian had never mentioned a brother to his head stockman, or if he had, he’d kept quiet about Zac being an identical twin.

As Zac clasped the outstretched hand, Rachel could almost read Vince’s mind: couldn’t have been much brotherly love between ’em if the boss never mentioned having a twin brother. And how right he would be!

To explain her brother-in-law’s long absence from Australia, she gave a sketchy background. “Zac’s a wildlife photographer. He works in remote parts of the world, taking photographs for geographic and wildlife publications and making documentaries. He’s come back to Australia to do an assignment here.”

Was that a flicker of relief in Vince’s eyes? Or merely a flicker of interest? Had he wondered for a second if Zac had come back to take over the family property, dashing any hopes he might have had of running the station himself?

“Good to meet you, Vince. Joanne.” Zac was all smoothness and charm as he turned to Vince’s bride, who gave one of her rare smiles and thrust out her own hand. Rachel had the strangest feeling, as Zac’s hand closed over Joanne’s, that it was her own hand being clasped in that warm, firm grasp, and she had to swallow and look away.

“How about a cold beer?” she asked, and receiving nods all round—Joanne always joined the men in a beer—she hastened back to the kitchen. She normally had a weak gin-and-tonic herself, but tonight she chose mineral water, knowing they’d be having wine with dinner. With Zac around, she needed to keep her wits about her.

Over drinks she asked Zac about his inspection of Bushy Hill, half dreading his answer. She wasn’t sure how much damage Adrian had done before his fatal accident. For Mikey’s sake she’d kept well away from the hill in the past month.

Zac pursed his lips. “I guess it could have been worse. Most of the hill’s been untouched, luckily, but quite a bit of native scrub and a few trees along the lower slopes are gone, exposing the bare earth to the elements. I’d advise putting in some drains before the rains come, or you could face an erosion problem.”

Drains? How much would they cost? Rachel took a quick gulp of her drink, wishing she had chosen something stronger.

“We can only hope the wildlife hasn’t been disturbed too much.” Zac’s jaw gritted as he said it. “My other worry is that the dam below the hill is almost empty. We’ll need to bring in a water tanker to refill it, or the wildlife and the cattle out there will run out of water. Or be in danger of getting trapped in the mud if the dam dries up any more.”

Rachel’s spirits nose-dived. Drains…trucking in water…repairing or maybe even replacing the damaged bore… All tasks that would cost money she simply didn’t have.

She felt Zac’s eyes on her face and knew he’d sensed her dismay. Now he, too, would assume the property was too much for her, just as everyone else did.

“Don’t worry, Rachel. I said I’d fix my brother’s mess and I will. I need to fly to Brisbane in the morning to see about the plane and to bring some more fuel in, but first I’ll arrange for a water tanker to come and for a truck to deliver the plastic pipes and gravel I’ll need for Bushy Hill. I’ll work on that when I get back tomorrow. Then I’ll scatter some seeds around for eventual regrowth when the rains come.”

As her lips parted in protest—how dared he take charge and leave her to face the bill?—he drawled, “My expense, naturally. Bushy Hill’s always been my special interest. Please don’t deny me this one thing I can do for Yarrah Downs, Rachel.”

She hesitated, frowning, wondering about his motives. If she allowed him to sink money into the property, she would be obligated to him. He might even expect to become a partner, an equal, if mostly absent partner, with the right to make decisions—decisions she might not agree with.

“No strings attached,” Zac said, as if he’d read her mind. “It’s the least I can do for my family.”

Well, that made sense. He hadn’t done too much for his family in the past. And she and Mikey were the only family he had now that Adrian had gone.

“Well, if you insist,” she said, trying not to sound too grateful. No strings, he’d said. No, of course not. Zac Hammond didn’t believe in strings or getting involved in other people’s lives. Let him do something for his family in the short time he was here. He’d be gone soon, anyway. “I have more pressing matters to deal with,” she said with a shrug.

“The damaged bore should be our first priority,” Vince said, drawing a quick frown from her. It was precisely what she’d been thinking herself. Did he have to treat her like an ignorant female who needed to have decisions made for her?

She stifled her indignation. He was only trying to help. It was his job to help her. “I’ll call the contractor in the morning,” she said, wondering how in the world she was going to pay for it. The bank had refused further credit. “It’ll cost a bit to repair. If we need to sink a new bore, we…we might have to leave it for a while. It’ll cost an arm and a leg. Meantime, we’ll just have to move those cattle to another paddock.” Water for the cattle was vital.

“If you need to sink a new bore,” Zac said, “I’ll see to it. You can pay me back when you can, Rachel.”

She recoiled. To accept that kind of help from Zac would really put her in his debt. He’d have a real hold over her. She’d be in his power. He’d love that.

“I don’t—”

“A loan, Rachel. Just like you’d get from a bank. Only, I won’t be charging interest or putting any pressure on you to pay me back until you’re ready.”

But maybe you’d put pressure on me to pay you back in some other way. She felt her legs go weak. Whatever his motive, he wasn’t making the offer out of the goodness of his heart. Zac Hammond had no heart, according to Adrian.

Besides, she had to stand on her own two feet. Somehow. She’d never asked or expected her father to help her, and to accept help from Zac would be the first step to admitting defeat.

“How did the bore get damaged?” Zac turned to Vince as if the matter was settled.

Vince stuck his thumbs in his leather belt. “Looks like someone dropped a metal tool down the shaft and it’s jammed up the works. As if we don’t have enough problems. We badly need a few extra bores, but I guess we’ll have to forget about gettin’ those till Boomerang Bore’s fixed.”

He shook his head, making Rachel feel personally responsible. Everything’s falling apart since Adrian’s death, he might as well have added.

“Any idea who’s responsible?” Zac asked.

Vince shrugged. “Whoever did it covered up his tracks too well. Could’ve been anybody.” He looked hard at Zac before raising his beer glass and taking a long swig.

Rachel’s heart stopped. Surely Vince didn’t suspect Zac? He’d only arrived today. Unless he’d come back earlier and kept out of sight until now. She felt as if she’d been punched in the stomach. Could Zac have flown into a nearby airstrip, borrowed a vehicle and made nightly excursions onto the property from there? Who would know his way around Yarrah Downs better than Zac, who’d been brought up here?

Her gaze speared his, but he was examining his beer glass with frowning intent, as if pondering the question. Or avoiding her eye?

Or did he simply agree with everyone else and believe she wasn’t up to running the place? Her head stockman certainly had his doubts.

“Yeah, pity the damage to Boomerang Bore has wrecked any chance of puttin’ in brand new bores,” Vince muttered, his brooding gaze still fixed to Zac’s face.

Rachel’s arm jerked, spilling the drink in her hand. Was Vince now trying to inveigle her brother-in-law into paying for a couple of additional bores?

Her eyes flashed a warning—to Zac as much as to Vince. “Try having more faith in me, Vince,” she snapped, and switched the subject. “What’s Danny been doing today? Where is he?”

Vince took a gulp of his beer. “He’s been out checking the fences. He’s not back yet, but he’s been in contact by radio.”

They all used radios because cell phones had poor reception out here. Only Danny possessed one of the powerful new satellite phones. His parents had given it to him, to keep in touch with them.

“There’s more bad news, I’m afraid,” Vince muttered. “Or it could’ve been.”

Her brow knitted. “What do you mean?” she asked, her spirits dipping.

“Danny found a fence post knocked down near Michael’s Gap and a big hole in the fence. He assumed it had been done by cattle until he found that someone had deliberately cut the fence wires.”

Oh, no. A silent moan rose in her throat. “Cut them? Deliberately?” Who was doing this to her?

“Luckily Danny thinks only a few cattle have wandered into the next paddock—where there’s no water, by the way, so it shouldn’t be too hard to round them up in the morning. Jo and I’ll go and help him. In the meantime he’s staying up there till he’s mended the fence.”

Rachel felt a suffocating sensation; she was possibly in the same room as the culprit. She jumped up, needing to get away. Needing to take some long, deep breaths before facing them again. “I’ll serve up the dinner,” she said, and fled the room.

“Been here long, Vince?” Zac asked over Rachel’s tasty beef-curry-and-rice meal.

“About five years,” Vince said. “I started a few weeks before Adrian and Rachel got married. The previous bloke had retired. Too old for the job.”

“You mean Bazza?” Zac’s gray eyes glinted suddenly. “But you kept the old bloke on, I hope, as an odd-job man or something?” He frowned. “Where is he, by the way? I haven’t seen him around.”

“He left. I dunno where he went.” Vince looked at Rachel, who shook her head. Adrian had never mentioned anyone called Bazza.

Zac’s brow plunged, his powerful frame swelling in his chair, which suddenly seemed too small for him. “Bazza would never have left Yarrah Downs voluntarily. He would have had to have been kicked out. This has been his home for as long as I can remember.”

“Well, he must have decided to go somewhere else,” Vince muttered, “because he was gone by the time I came.”

Zac didn’t pursue the subject, but by his brooding silence, Rachel knew he was blaming his twin brother again. It wasn’t until Vince and Joanne left soon after the meal that Zac brought it up again, following her out to the kitchen with a stack of dirty plates. It had obviously been eating at him for the past hour or so.

“Did Adrian ever talk about Bazza, Rachel? Mention where he went? He had no family but us. Hell, I didn’t think even my brother would stoop to throwing Bazza out.”

Her chin jutted out. Was Zac going to blame her husband for everything? “I know nothing about him. Adrian just told me the previous head stockman was too old for the job and had left. He never told me where he’d gone, if he even knew.”

She switched on the hot-water tap, squirted detergent into the sink, and started washing the glasses. “If he was old, maybe he was sick and wanted to live in a town. He could even have died by now. I’m sure Adrian was doing what he thought best for Bazza. For Yarrah Downs.”

Zac gave a snort, at the same time grabbing a tea towel to help her. “Bazza was a tough old codger. He was never sick a day in his life. Adrian always had it in for him. But I never thought his dislike had gone this deep. To deliberately turf the old bloke out. My father told Bazza he’d always have a home here, even when he was no longer able to work.”

“We can’t afford to keep people on out of charity. We’re barely surviving ourselves.” She winced, wishing she hadn’t let that last bit slip out. She didn’t want Zac knowing just how bad things were. She plunged a dirty plate into the sudsy water and swished it with a cloth.

Zac slid a hand onto her shoulder, his fingers spreading over the bare skin at her nape. The touch was so unexpected that she flinched. Or maybe she was flinching at the memory the warmth and texture of his fingers evoked.

With a quirk of his lip, Zac let his hand drop away. “I know it must be difficult, Rachel, especially when there’s some vandal out there trying to make things even more difficult for you. But Bazza was one of the family. He belongs here. And a promise is a promise.”

Something in his voice got through to her. Zac really cared about this Bazza character. It wasn’t just pique at what his brother had done to an old family retainer.

“Look, I’ll try to find out what happened to him,” she promised. “And if he is still alive and didn’t want to leave Yarrah Downs, I’ll see if I can persuade him to come back. But he’ll have to be able to work for his keep. Do odd jobs, at least.”

“Thank you, Rachel. But I reckon he’d be more likely to listen to me than to…Adrian’s widow. He and my brother barely tolerated each other. I’ll make some inquiries myself. I want to catch up with the neighbors, anyway.”

Oh, he did, did he? Why? To let them know the prodigal brother was back in Australia, about to work on an assignment here, before he flitted off again? She gave a jerk of her shoulder. “Well, if you like. If you feel you have the time.”

How long would it take Zac to find the old man? Hours? Days? She felt herself trembling. Zac was becoming far too involved in the affairs of Yarrah Downs, when the place was her responsibility, not his. He’d asked to stay for a night or two, but it was becoming alarmingly obvious that he would never do all he wanted to do in a couple of days, or even a week.

It seemed inevitable now that he would be here for Mikey’s birthday.

“Mind if I leave you to finish up here?” She threw down the dishcloth. She had to get away from him. She had to do that thinking now. “I have some bookkeeping to catch up on.” Adrian had always insisted on doing the books, and it had taken her a while to sort out the mess he’d left. Records not kept, bills not paid. He’d been no bookkeeper. Yet he’d never asked for her help or accepted it.

“My pleasure, Rachel.” The amused glint in Zac’s silver-gray eyes unsettled her even more as she made her escape. He knew he still affected her. But did he know in what way, or how deeply? Did he wonder just what, precisely, she felt for him? Attraction? Repulsion? Desire? Suspicion?

Did she know herself?

Chapter Three

Zac rose with the misty dawn, expecting to be gone from the house before anyone else appeared, but he found Rachel already up, making coffee in the kitchen. The aroma was seductive. Rachel, damn it, looked seductive, too, even this early in the day.