A Clandestine Corporate Affair

“So it is about work,” she said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice.

“I have to consider everything,” he said. “But ultimately this is about what’s best for our son.”

To hear Nathan refer to Max as “our son” made Ana’s heart twist. For a long time he was just “her son.” She wasn’t sure if she was ready to give that up, to share him. But this wasn’t about what she wanted. The only thing that mattered was what was best for Max.

Her knee-jerk reaction was to say no way, either he was in or out; but in all fairness, she’d had almost nine months to get used to the idea of being a parent. He’d had a child thrust on him without warning, and now he was expected to make a decision that would impact his and their son’s life forever. And hers. Could she honestly blame him for erring on the side of caution? He had clearly given this a lot of thought and seemed to have Max’s best interest in mind. Wasn’t that what really mattered? Not to mention that Nathan had shown vulnerability, which she knew had to be tough for him. He was a successful and well-respected man. Admitting he might not be able to hack it as a father couldn’t have been easy for him. She commended him for his honesty.

“I guess a trial period would make sense,” she told him. “Supervised visits, of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed.

Which meant having to spend time with Nathan, which she was sure would be heart-wrenching for her. Just having him in her home, remembering all the times they had spent there together, made her feel hollowed out inside. Alone. Since they split, she hadn’t so much as looked at another man. Not that she’d had a whole lot of time for dating these days, but she had gone out with friends a few times, attended social functions with her father. Men had tried to strike up conversations, asked her to dance, but she just wasn’t interested.

If a year and a half apart hadn’t dissolved her feelings for Nathan, maybe she was destined to love him forever. Or maybe being around him again would make her realize that he wasn’t as wonderful as she used to think. The man was bound to have flaws. Little character traits that annoyed her. Maybe all this time she’d been building him up in her mind, making him into something he really wasn’t.

A renewed sense of hope filled her. Maybe this would turn out to be a good thing for her. But they had to be cautious.

“I also think it would be best if no one knew about this,” she said.

He looked relieved, probably because he was worried about his position at Western Oil. But there was more to it than that.

“I think that’s a good idea,” he said.

“We’ll have to be really careful. These things have a way of blowing up, and that could be devastating for Max.”

“He’s a baby. It’s not as if he can pick up a newspaper.”

“Not yet. But someday he will. If you decide, for whatever reason, that you can’t be a part of his life, I don’t want him to know about you. If your identity gets out now, you can bet he’ll hear about it eventually. Besides, my father adores Max, but if he were to learn that you’re the father, he would know that our affair was just another way of defying him. He would disown me and Max on principle.”

“Still trying to win his affection?”

“I don’t give a damn what he thinks about me, but Max has a future at Birch Energy, if he should so decide that’s what he wants to do. Right now it’s his legacy. It doesn’t seem fair to deny him that for my own selfish reasons.”

“Yet if I decide to be a part of his life you risk that very thing.”

“Because knowing his real father is too important. He needs a male influence in his life, and as it stands, my father is the best I can do. And who knows, maybe Max isn’t destined to fail him. With me, he never seemed to get over the fact that I wasn’t the son he’d always wanted.”

“So, is that really all I was to you?” he asked. “Just another way to defy your father?”

At first. Until he wasn’t anymore. Until she fell stupidly and hopelessly in love with him. But that would have to remain her little secret. Her pride depended on it. “Does that come as such a shock?”

“Not really, considering we both know it isn’t true.”

And what about him? Did he get off on making women fall for him, then breaking their hearts? Was it all just a game to him? And how was she supposed to react to his accusation? If she denied it, she would look as though she were hiding something. If she admitted the truth … well, that wasn’t even an option.

She refused to give him the satisfaction of any response.

“So, what days would be best for you to see Max?” she asked him. “His bedtime is eight, so if you want to do weeknights it will have to be before that. Sunday afternoons would work too.”

“Weekdays will be tough. I’ve been swamped at work. I’m lucky if I can get out by nine most nights.”

“No one said it was going to be easy. You have to make priorities.”

His look said he was poised to jump to the defensive, but instead he took a deep breath and said, “If I go into the office early tomorrow, I could be out of there by six-thirty. That would get me here a little before seven.”

“That’s a start,” she said.

“Tomorrow it is then.”

A long, uncomfortable silence followed, where neither seemed to know what to say next. Or maybe they had said all there was to say.

“Well, I guess since that’s settled …” He rose from the couch.

“It’s been a long day, and I don’t know about you, but I could go for a glass of wine.” She knew the second the words left her mouth it was a bad idea, but she just wasn’t ready for him to leave.

You can’t force him to love you, she reminded herself. And she wouldn’t want to. She wanted someone without the relationship hang-ups, who loved her unconditionally. If that kind of man even existed.

Nathan studied her, one brow slightly raised. “Are you asking me to stay?”

Yeah, bad idea. “You know what, forget it. I don’t think—”

“Red or white?”

His question stopped her. “Huh?”

“The wine. Do you have red or white?” The hint of a smile tugged at his lips. “Because I’m partial to red.”

She shouldn’t be doing this. She was still vulnerable. She was only setting herself up to be hurt. For all she knew he could be involved with someone else now. Maybe that was part of the reason for the trial period.

Character flaws, she reminded herself. She couldn’t find them if she didn’t spend at least a little time with the man.

Just this once, and after this, she would see him only if Max was there.

“Then you’re in luck,” she told him. “Because I have both.”

Four

“If you’re sure it’s no trouble,” Nathan said, a part of him hoping she would say it was.

“No trouble.”

She walked to the kitchen and he sat back down. He wasn’t sure what the hell he thought he was doing. He came here to discuss his son, and now that they had, he had no reason to stay. The problem was, he didn’t want to leave.

Maybe it was time to admit what deep down he had known all along. He still had unresolved feelings regarding his relationship with Ana. Despite what she probably believed, ending it hadn’t been easy for him, either. Ana was the only woman who had ever made him feel like a whole person. Like he didn’t have to hide. Almost … normal. But he knew that eventually his demons would get the best of him—they always did—and she would see the kind of man that he really was. Knowing Ana, and the kind of woman she was, she would want to try to fix him. Well, it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t fixable. And the less time he spent with her, the better. Especially in situations where Max wasn’t there to act as a buffer. So why wasn’t he stopping her as she walked to the kitchen and pulled two wineglasses down from the cupboard? Why didn’t he get up, grab his coat and get the hell out?

Damned if he knew. Although he was sure good old-fashioned stupidity played a major part.

“So,” she said from the kitchen. “You said you’re up for the CEO position?”

He turned to face her. She was standing at the counter opening a bottle of red wine. “It’s between me, the CFO Emilio Suarez and my brother Jordan.”

“Your brother, huh? That must be dicey.” The cork popped free and she poured the wine. “If I recall correctly, your relationship has always been … complicated.”

“Is that the polite way of saying he’s an arrogant jerk?”

“I actually met him at a fundraiser last year,” Ana said, carrying the two glasses into the room.

“Did he hit on you?”

“Why? Are you jealous?” She handed him one, their fingertips touching as he took it from her. It was an innocent, meaningless brush of skin, but boy, did he feel it. Way more than he should have. If she noticed or felt it, too, she wasn’t letting on. She sat back down in the chair, curling her legs beneath her, looking young and hip and sexy as hell. And yes, maybe a little tired.

“I ask,” he said, “because Jordan hits on all beautiful women. He can’t help himself.”

“I believe he was there with a date.”

Nathan shrugged. “That’s never stopped him before.”

“No, he didn’t hit on me. Although maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was eight months pregnant and as big as a house.”

“Somehow I can’t see that stopping him either.”

She laughed. “Come on, he’s not that bad.”

He didn’t used to be. When they were growing up, Nathan had been his brother’s protector. He couldn’t begin to count how many times, when they were kids, that he had taken the blame for things his brother had done to shelter him from their father’s wrath, or stepped between Jordan and their father’s fists. As the older brother he felt it was his responsibility to shelter Jordan, who was quiet and sensitive. A sissy, their father used to call him. But instead of the loyalty and gratitude Nathan would have expected, Jordan learned to be a master manipulator, always pointing the finger at Nathan for his own misdeeds. At home, in school. He became the golden child who could do no wrong, and Nathan had been labeled the troublemaker. Not that Nathan hadn’t gotten into enough trouble all on his own. But after all these years it still chapped his hide.

“Jordan is Jordan,” Nathan said. “He won’t ever change.”

“When will the new CEO be announced?” Ana asked.

Not until the investigation into the explosion at Western Oil was complete, but he couldn’t tell her that. Only a select few even knew there was an investigation. The explosion was caused by faulty equipment—equipment that had just been checked and rechecked for safety—and as a result thirteen men were injured. The board was convinced it had been an inside job, and they suspected that Birch Energy— specifically Ana’s father—was behind it. The goal was to flush out whoever was responsible. But it had been a slow, arduous and frustrating process.

“We haven’t been given a definitive date,” he told Ana. “A few more months at least.”

“And how will you feel if it goes to Jordan?”

“It won’t.” Of the three candidates, in his opinion, Jordan was the least qualified, and Nathan was sure that the board would agree. Jordan used charm to get where he was now, but that would only take him so far.

“You sound pretty sure about that.”

“That’s because I am. And no offense, but I don’t want to talk about my brother.”

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“Maybe you could tell me a little about my son.”

“Actually, I can do better than that.” Ana set her wine down, got up from her chair and walked to the bookcase across the room. She pulled a large book down from the shelf and carried it over. He expected her to hand it to him; instead she sat down beside him. So close that their thighs were almost touching.

He liked it better when she was across the room.

“What’s this?” he asked.

She set the book in her lap and opened it to the first page. “Max’s baby book. It has pictures and notes and every milestone he’s reached up until now. I’ve been working on it since before he was born.”

Clearly she had, as the first few pages consisted of photos of her in different stages of her pregnancy, and even a shot of the home pregnancy stick that said “pregnant” in the indicator window. And her earlier self-description that she was “as big as a house” in her eighth month was obviously a gross exaggeration. Other than looking like she had swallowed a basketball, her body appeared largely unchanged.

“You looked good,” he said.

“I was pretty sick the first trimester, but after that I felt great.”

The next page was sonogram photos—with one that clearly showed the baby was a boy—and notes she’d taken after her doctor visits. The pages that followed were all Max. And damn, maybe Nathan was partial, but he sure was a cute baby. But as Ana sat beside him slowly turning the pages, he caught himself looking at her instead. The familiar line of her jaw and the sensual curve of her lips. The soft wisps of hair that had escaped the clip and brushed her cheek. Eighteen months ago he wouldn’t have thought twice about reaching up to tuck it back behind her ear. To caress her cheek, stroke the column of her neck. Press his lips to the delicate ridge of her collar bone …

Damn. He would have thought that over time his desire for her would have faded, but the urge to put his hands on her was as strong as ever. And for her sake as much as his own, he couldn’t.

“He’s a cute kid,” he said, as she reached the end of the book and flipped it closed. “He actually looks a lot like Jordan did at that age.”

She got up and carried the book back to the shelf, sliding it in place. A part of him hoped she would return to the couch and sit beside him, and the disappointment he felt when she didn’t was a clear indication that he needed to get the hell out of there. He should be concentrating on his son, but all he could think about was her.

He swallowed the last of his wine and pulled himself to his feet. “It’s late,” he said, even though it was barely past nine. “I have an early morning. I should get going.”

If his leaving disappointed her, she didn’t let on. She followed him as he walked to the door. “So, we’ll see you tomorrow around seven?” she asked.

“Or sooner if I can manage it.” He shrugged into his jacket and she opened the door. This would normally be the part where she slid her arms up around his neck and kissed him goodbye, and usually tried to talk him into staying the night. God knows he had been tempted, every single time, but that was always where he drew the line. Sleeping over insinuated a level of intimacy where he never dared tread. Otherwise women got the wrong idea. Especially women like Ana.

“I’m glad you came over tonight,” she said.

He stopped just shy of the threshold. “Me, too.”

“And I meant what I said before, about the choice you make. Even after this, if you decide you can’t do this, I won’t hold it against you. Being a parent is tough. It takes a ton of sacrifice.”

“It sounds almost as if you’re trying to dissuade me.”

“It’s also the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had. It changes you in a way you would never expect. Things I used to think were so important just don’t seem that critical anymore. It’s all about him now.”

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to make a child the center of his life. He wouldn’t even begin to know how. “Now you’re scaring the hell out of me.”

She smiled. “I know it sounds daunting, and it is in a way. It’s tough to explain. You’ll either feel it or you won’t, I guess.”

Or maybe it was a chick thing, because he’d never heard any of his friends with kids describe it that way.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” he said.

“I guess.”

He had the distinct feeling she wanted to say something else, so he waited a beat, and when she didn’t he turned to walk out. He was one step onto the porch when she grabbed his arm.

“Nathan, wait.”

He turned back to her. If she was smart, she wouldn’t touch him, but the damage was already done. Now all he could think about was pulling her into his arms and holding her, pressing his lips to hers.

“When we were sitting there looking at Max’s baby book,” she said, “it made me realize how much he’s changed in the past nine months.”

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